Today I won't neglect my Corners — I will not fail to update you on doings… (remember, the Corner idea is that you can just skip it if it's boring to you!)
Spring has sprung, although the weather still tends to damp cold with some bouts of sunshine, occasionally. We leave the house early every morning for Mass, so I can't exactly hunker down until the highs, such as they are, are approached.
So I spend all day adding layers to my outfit (due to early morning vain optimism), and then shedding them (due to later morning activity once things warm up). Then adding them again (due to evening chill).
Such is life in New England!
I am currently, as I type this, sporting woolen wrist warmers, sweater, scarf, and woolen socks. I'm sure things will get better.
I loved all the discussions in the comments about setting the family dinner table last week, once I got the comments to operate (and bear with me; it seems to be something in the code that toggles itself on and off, and has to be tinkered with; if the comments are not enabled, they soon will be! hold on to your thought! sorry!).
It's not that any one detail of homemaking makes or breaks the situation (though a candle on the dinner table seems fairly important, as I think you have gathered). It's just that someone has to make it homey and pretty, and there are specific items that someone has to attend to.
The mother's work comes down to this, so often: many little tasks and attentive details that make the whole. To bring about the making of the home, we need time and thought. Why do we let anyone (including ourselves) take those away from us?
Bread Corner
{click on the tag Bread Corner at the bottom of the post to find all the posts with my process, if you would like some guidance that is geared towards the busy home baker}
Last Bread Corner time I discussed these loaves, and I did take a picture of the crumb eventually, so I wanted to show you:
This is what I have been challenging myself to produce.
I am happy.
I'm trying to share what I have learned, little by little. Remember, everyone's ingredients and environment are different, so what works for one baker might not work for another.
Today's tip is to handle the dough gently.
Do the strengthening coil folds after the first rest (discussed here) in a way that your hands feel the dough getting stronger. I do that kind of fold shown in that video, but never with so little dough (who has time to make bread one small loaf at a time?) and usually not with such a high hydration (ratio of water to flour). But the method is the same.
By the time you do the last coil fold, be quite gentle. And when you turn your nicely risen dough out to shape it, do so gently. As you shape your loaves, do it all gently! We are used to yeast dough, if we learned that way, that takes a lot of kneading and can be handled fairly roughly. But well proofed sourdough needs gentle handling to preserve the air bubbles and structure.
Knitting Corner
I'm getting there with my Norwegian Selbu mittens. The learning curve was steep for me! The chart is tiny (should have enlarged it, too late now), the pattern is not one I have been able to memorize, the knitting is fiddly, I have made mistakes due to the pattern not being quite correct (you get what you pay for with a free pattern!) and to my inexperience, resulting in me not knowing what the comments of other knitters even meant, so not being able to fix the mistakes until it was too late… but they are pretty!
The i-cord cast-on was my idea!
I am determined to make a sweater (a “garment” rather than an “accessory” — like a shawl, mittens, or a hat — as real knitters call it). I have decided on this one…
…and then: commence the saga of getting the yarn choice right….
Take a deep breath!
I have one Ann Taylor or maybe it's Talbots, wool sort of “riding” or “walking” skirt, some thrifty find, that fits me so well and is so warm and versatile. It is basically the shape of this corduroy one, but beautifully tailored of luxurious dark brown wool, so that it can be worn to church, with a lining and everything…
All last year I was looking for another one, or for wool to make one. I thought I had some wool in my stash but couldn't find it for the longest time! Then of course I was looking for something else (in the linen closet) and there it was:
It's not really my color (winter), but from a distance it could read as taupe, rather than beige, if you twist your mind just so, which means that with the right top, I can make it work. And it is the loveliest worsted tweed, super high quality. I have no idea where it came from! Probably my mother found it and gave it to me, on the Like Mother, Like Daughter principle of curated abundance, that surely we will have some use for it!
I decided that my (projected) sweater will go with this (potential) skirt. Am tired of black and gray, already made a brown sweater (which I have yet to show you), so went with blue and white!
The pattern calls for Ístex Plötulopi, which is an Icelandic wool that is not spun. [Cue all the indecision, searching, querying, wondering, being hampered by not having a giant yarn mall right here so I can make all the comparisons, anguishing over the expense of any other kind of wool, needing to get to a yarn festival preferably in Scotland, STAT, going to the local yarn store where they actually do have this exact wool, along with this exact sweater knit up as a sample, amazing, buying it, but still agonizing.]
After some swatching (as seen in that photo above), I decided that this wool, as far as I, a hasty and imprecise person, as you can see by laddering in the small white swatch never mind an entire sweater, am concerned, needs to be held with something sturdier.
In the blue swatch, I knitted half of it holding this lace-weight yarn from the depths of my stash:
Despite being a different color, it works perfectly to add firmness, body, and strength to the Plötulopi.
Naturally, I have zero idea where this lace came from from or what it is, other than it was simply there; it's beautiful, seems to be alpaca maybe, has two plies… no other concepts about it. Did a lot of searching online.
There's enough of it that I could certainly use it for the ribbing (I intend to have regular ribbing, not the garter stitch that the pattern calls for). But now I have my heart set on holding the lace with all the yarn — I really love the way it changes the fabric, making it more like a Shetland wool than it otherwise would be, and giving me a fighting chance of not making a mess of the tricky Plötulopi. I just know that a floppy, messily knit, almost see-through sweater would annoy me, however warm everyone says it is.
So I ordered something that may or may not be like that lace, plenty for this project (staving off future-me trying to sabotage things)… we shall see… three skeins of this: Alpaca Lace by Cascade Yarns:
And now you know why I say, up above, to feel free to not come into a Corner, lest you be bored to distraction!
Garden Corner
My indoor seeds are started, though the sweet peppers are not cooperating at all. I'll have to try them again. So far I have tomatoes of a bunch of varieties, some eggplant, some flowers, cukes, and even a Malabar spinach!
The outside winter sowing is doing great!
And I did take advantage of some sunny days to get the garden up to speed. If it seems overwhelming to you, either to start or to reclaim things after a fall and winter of neglect, dead plants, leaves, and so on, try just doing one bed at a time.
Don't try to do everything at once, but just plant a few things. I started with the peas, which are already coming up (so exciting!). And the onions, which also need an early start and don't mind cold Aprils — they are in that far bed, just in front of the tractor. Just doing that much wore me out but also gave me hope that little by little, I can get things going.
bits & pieces
- Do you have a daughter who would be inspired by this needlework? It's pretty cute, and would work on a skirt or apron as well; think about using such embroidery to cover a little tear…
- In my last podcast, I had a conversation with Leila Miller about how terrible and counter-productive marriage preparation these days is. We were pretty critical. This time, I discuss what it ought to look like! Trying to light a candle.
- A Child's Primer for Liberty, by John O. McGinnis. A professor looks at what the Little House books can teach us.
- Do you live in the San Francisco Bay area? Do you know someone who does? Dear Anne is starting a St. Gregory Pocket there and would be overjoyed to meet up with you (or your friend/relative)! Join this private Facebook group here. If you are not on FB, email me and I will put you in touch with her.
from the archives
- In case you need convincing about The Hong Konger
- Rescuing history from leftists and cultural memory loss
- What is a St. Gregory Pocket and how can it help me build a community right where I am?
- What can children do? A guide!
liturgical living
Roman martyrs today… and of course, still Easter!
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available now from Sophia Press! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My new podcast can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
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Emily says
I have knit a cardigan but not a sweater–I prefer to seam them rather than doing them top down. I actually have a sweater on my needles but the sleeves have been my undoing! I really wish I had local knitting friends instead of having to go to the shop for help, because sometimes they are not really helpful and then I end up buying more yarn in order to recompense them for their help! Argh!
The pattern you’ve chosen is lovely! Can’t wait to read about it.
And it’s not just an issue with free patterns–there is a designer who Shall Remain Nameless whose patterns are terribly edited. I have been lured into the trap of “oh this is so cute!” and buying said pattern, and yarn and then going to make the thing and throwing everything down in frustration! Why do they do this to us?!
Leila says
Oh no! (re: badly written/edited patterns). The mitten one is literally a chart with a few terse comments haha… and the chart is not quite correct. I will put my notes in soon.
I really wanted to make a stranded yoke sweater, so top down it is. But I am seriously contemplating steeking it and making it into a cardigan! I think I have the concept!
It is super encouraging to have real-life friends to discuss knitting issues with. Mine helped me a lot with figuring out what I wanted to do with the tension. We just started a knitting/needle arts evening (that we are calling the St. Clare Guild). Could you do something like that? With ladies at church? It would be so fun!
MarinaL says
A small question because the niggling in my brain will not go away – when you say “top down it is” re: the stranded yoke, is my knitting brain missing something? Because I’m pretty certain that a stranded yoke does not necessitate top down construction. In fact, I would have sworn that bottom up, steeked and seamed, was the “normal” way to do it. Obviously, if the pattern that you love is top down and all then that is a quasi-necessity, but otherwise it does not strike me so.
Leila says
Oh, okay!
Well, it seems that this pattern is in a genre — the top-down raglan sweater with the stranded yoke. That’s all I meant. But I am thinking about steeking to make it a cardigan! But I might not…
Emily says
We have a knitting group, but it doesn’t meet! It knits things and donates them once a year to various charities, which I love, but I don’t think it ever actually meets in person, which is SADNESS!
Leila says
But start one? Invite one or two people?
Sarah says
How I love the guide to what children can do! Any advice for teaching children not to leave a trail? We definitely blitz, but some forgetful ones just shed objects as they walk. Advice on how to deal with this kindly would be so good! It gets me down sometimes, but I’m sure it’s solvable. Thanks!
Leila says
You just have to make them re-trace their steps! With a bag or basket!
Children operate on this one principle: they will do what costs them the least effort. They will endure being shouted at or scolded, because it doesn’t take any effort! But if you make them re-do whatever it is right away, then next time they will do the cost-benefit analysis and determine that their energy is best spent doing it your way. Especially if it prevents them from doing what they want to do right then, which is why the consequence has to be immediate.
Obviously this takes time for you. It seems counterproductive. But if you stick with it for a week, you will mostly solve the problem. If not, you can give that person the chore of decluttering the space however often it needs it. They will then take ownership of it. I hope!
Nicole says
This is… a huge problem in our house. Now, mostly, it’s the 1-4 year olds who do the strewing but even the 7 and ups just strew and strew…whhhhyyyyyy?????!!!!! I probably scold and yell and lose my mind about it too regularly (LOL), but I do make them all come back and pick their things up usually as soon as I notice. And try to make sure the things get put back correctly not just thrown on the stairs!! But by then I’m already exasperated, because seriouslywhyweaskthiseverydayyoudefinitelycompletelyknowwhereshoescoatspapersbookstoysetcgo. And so the pattern repeats. I guess I just need to make them do it over and over but leave out the exasperation?! Help!! This is the bane of my existence homeschooling and therefore having everyone around all day with all.the.things.
Leila says
Well, maybe what I was talking about in this post, at the beginning, is true for the children as well. If they are rushing from one thing to another and not feeling the rhythm of the day, they become careless.
We have to slow down, even when coming into the house. Take our time to hang things up and put shoes under the bench… if everyone is always going on to the next thing and not having time to do what is here and now… it’s not good.
Too many things, too little time.
One strategy that can work with toys: if you have to pick it up, you put it on a high shelf (and tell them what you are doing). They have to earn it back (by doing a chore!). If they aren’t motivated to do that, well, in the donation bin it goes!
All that said, a certain amount of clutter is inevitable. They are children, not Japanese grandparents (who, unlike American grandparents like me, probably do finally have the habit of not leaving things all over). That is where the “blitz” comes in — set the timer and have them storm through picking things up, to get dessert or whatever treat it is that they want.
Sarah says
I thank you! I look forward to this. Taking time between things to put away sounds just like the sweet Montessori school I went to for a few years when I was small. It would have been lovely to be home with mama, but given that it was just us two, that couldn’t be. This place was the next best thing possible, with kind and firm teachers who nurtured families. I have good memories of putting things away, actually, and the beautiful order. Something to strive for! As I remember that they had the added benefit of a cleaning staff to vacuum and children who went away at 2pm everyday:).
But a race to retrace steps sounds like fun. We thank God for you, Auntie Leila!
Nicole says
Thank you for your response! You are so wise and I really appreciate how you see things!
I think you’re right on— it’s a sense of hastily and excitedly moving from one activity to the next. I have been thinking about what you said here and realized that I may need to charitably give all my kids (4 years and up) a training session in some of these areas (such as simulating then coming inside from playing outside and making them go through the steps, slowly, of what I expect.) For some people this may be totally unnecessary, but what I have found is that I’m usually just not right there to guide them through those transitions, and over a few years of them having lots of independent play while I am nursing a baby or getting something done around the house, bad habits have formed.
I also love your suggestion about the toys. It puts a lot more skin in the game rather than just them putting up with mom getting exasperated yet again 😉
Thank you, Auntie Leila!!!
Carol says
This reminds me of when I was a kid watching Mister Rogers—he would come into his house and remove a blazer (I think) and put on his sweater (with a zipper—I was fascinated by the zippered sweater!) and then switch his dress shoes for slip on sneakers. The whole time he was speaking in a calm voice about the day. Everything was put in its place. It was so calming! (In contrast to most kids programming today which is frantic!)
Catherine says
As a kid, if we dumped our coat or backpack on the floor/chair/etc and not on a hook, my mom would make us pick it up and put it on its hook, then back to the dumped spot, then on the hook again, 10 times. I think we got pretty diligent about hanging things up as we walked in the door!
Mary says
Ha! I was just going to comment the same—hi sis. And I have my bigs do this now too (boys ages 9+ who are not too interested in putting things away bc they are always on to the next!), definitely has improved some of the shedding, especially with school books.
Anamaria says
Brilliant twettens 😊
Catherine says
Your mention of the brown corduroy skirt reminds me—I’ve been meaning to recommend Chadwick’s if you’re still/again looking for a corduroy skirt. They have two skirts that I love, one denim and one corduroy, both the same style, called “comfort waist” (which just means it’s not trying to suffocate you—it does have a nice waistband that holds its shape), a true knee length (I’m 5”7’, I buy the tall version to get a few more inches, and it’s the perfect length.)
They don’t do free shipping and free returns unless you sign up for their member club, which, being cheap, I did for a month’s free trial and lots of hassle. (Most pertinent thing my wise mother ever said to me, “you pay with your time or you pay with your money.” It’s so true, and this saying of hers reconciles me to the time I spend on various thriftiness matters.) But know that the skirt runs very true to size, in my experience, I wear the same size bottoms at Gap, Levi and Chadwick’s. So maybe you can get away with just ordering one size and shelling out the $5 for shipping!
Toni Graham says
Love those mittens – the color, the pattern.. so beautiful!
So, you are a winter? You have had some sort of color analysis? I had one done and I am a spring…
Leila says
Yes, way back when!
I have written about it too: https://likemotherlikedaughter.org/2011/11/ask-auntie-leila-five-steps-to-feeling/
Toni Graham says
Love it!
Your fashion tips make so much practical sense!
Thank you, Leila!
Emily says
Don’t feel bad about the sweet bell peppers, they’re notoriously a pain! Hot peppers are easier for some reason.
Leila says
Oh, good to know. I think maybe my seeds are old as well. I still have time and I don’t mind buying starts of a few plants!
Melisa says
Auntie Leila,
I definitely want my older children (13 and up) to see the Jimmy Lai documentary, but hoping we can watch it all together… Do you think there’s anything that would be harmful if a 7 or 11 year old were to watch it?
Thanks so much for sharing about the Hong Konger! We need the witness of courageous people like him.
Melisa
Leila says
The subject matter is heavy. There are scenes in Tiananmen Square… I think you should watch it first before you show it to the younger ones.
Catherine says
Your knitting corner is my kind of corner! I didn’t use plötulopi for years for all the reasons you list, and then paired it with a nylon/mohair blend last fall to make a Felix cardigan. I’m so glad I took the plunge! Please share photos of the finished sweater.
Leila says
Oh, good to know that you had the same thought! I will try to a) start it (still waiting for the lace yarn to arrive), b) finish it, and c) share photos of it! 🙂
Bridget says
I used to have such luck making sourdough during the quarantine times. At some point, my starter got thrown out. Any advice for how to procure or make a sourdough starter? I’d love to get back into making my own bread.
Leila says
It’s pretty easy to make it. If you search “make sourdough starter no discard” you will find directions. The main point is to start with a very small amount of equal parts flour and water. If the kitchen is warm enough, you will have starter fairly soon. Feed it equal parts flour and water every day until it is bubbling and doubling. If you do start to have around a cup of starter, use all but a couple of tablespoons in your pancake batter and continue with what you have left.
You can also ask a sourdough baking friend for a little! If she will give you 2 tablespoons, you will be off to the races.
Rachael says
That lace yarn looks like it has silk in it to me. Does it feel like it? It’s beautiful. Good luck on the sweater! You can do it.
Question: my children are feral. My fault but there are also 5 of them all under 6. Any tips on keeping them from breaking all the things? I was inspired by your family table post and bought napkin rings, which are already partially destroyed and it’s been a week😖
Leila says
Oh dear, Rachael! haha… living in the jungle with the feral children!
I have no idea about the lace. I think it’s alpaca but who knows? That was the trouble! But that alpaca lace came and it’s gorgeous, so we shall see about it.
It will be some time before your kids are quite tame. Maybe never! That’s okay. But as to the table, just keep the time they have to sit there quite short. Make them eat (I mean as opposed to shenanigans — impose “kid quiet time” and don’t make them stay long). Maybe have “manners class” at some lunchtimes. With such young children, it might be wise to use the cloth napkins only on Sunday, just saying…
Rachael says
It’s the deep jungle here but it’s ok because I like the jungle book.
Alpaca should feel like a cloud. Silk should have a shine and feel like silk. But yes the KP alpaca yarn is lovely to knit with.
Well that is good to know it’s normal. People were starting to make me feel like there was something wrong. The problem isn’t when I’m with them. It’s when I’m not there that they destroy things, Which as you know, is often. Maybe someday I can have nice things.
Leila says
You will have nice things! Keep working on it! Also put them in charge of anything you can. You can bribe them with a turn lighting and/or dousing the candle if it helps them focus on careful movements.
Also, take advantage of EVERY situation to teach (age-appropriate) self control. I talk about this in my book. Let them have a bit of awe when they enter the library, for instance. Treat it and talk about it differently from going to the playground. “We are going in and I want you to walk in quietly next to me… ” Be prepared to leave instantly if they don’t do what you ask. If you do that — if you ditch an outing — it will get their attention. You don’t have to be angry — you can just say “you weren’t ready for that; next time will be better.”
It is totally normal for little kids to be wild! And it’s also good to have situations, lots of them, but short in duration, where something is required of them.
I used to create situations for my kids when I wasn’t there, too. “I’m going upstairs to do X… this is your challenge, to play and not get into mischief.” Go up for 5 minutes and come down again. In other words, set them up for success. Everything takes practice!
In theory I know what the different fibers are and feel like, but as to finding the same thing to purchase, it wasn’t happening! I looked at all the possibilities I could find! I think the alpaca I bought will be great — swatching later today, I hope!
Sarah says
You’re not the only one in a jungle or with kids that just break most everything! That’s the best part of the comments here. One doesn’t have to feel alone. And just because I light candles on the table doesn’t mean my five monkeys behave!:). It sometimes feels like an act of denial on my part, sometimes like hope. We haven’t set the house afire yet. Sometimes it seems like a near thing though! Like when the two year old climbs five feet up for the matchbox….. :). My five are 8 and under, so I hope for good things, but we are still very much working on the basics.
Hang in there!
Laura Jeanne says
Leila, HOW do you keep the walkways around your raised beds from being choked with weeds? We put landscape cloth and woodchips down around ours, and the quack grass came right through, and after a couple of years (even though we added more wood chips) it’s such a jungle that the first time we cut the grass this year it was fully a foot high. When I see photos of people’s gardens with a no-weed zone around the beds, I just don’t understand how that is accomplished.
Nicole Cox says
I don’t know what kind of grass you have (I imagine that makes a difference), but we have had fairly good success with the No-Dig method by Charles Dowding (thanks to Auntie Leila’s suggestion). You lay down thick cardboard, overlaying so no light gets through any cracks, and then lay the mulch on top of it. The cardboard kills the grass much better than weed block fabric in our experience! You can tell because at the end of the season the cardboard has decayed, but the grass is totally dead and yellow under the mulch. Might be worth a shot. We collected cardboard for a couple weeks (and I went around neighborhood on recycling day and got a lot of free cardboard!!).
Leila says
Yes, exactly this. Under the wood chips is cardboard. Layers by now! Cardboard, wood chips, more wood chips, things decay, more cardboard, more wood chips… every year a fresh layer of wood chips gets laid on… my whole garden is going upwards! The paths do need weeding, but it’s not a terrible job at this point.
The beds started out with layers of cardboard several years ago. I always pile my leaf mulch on them and then added compost… this spring, the weedy beds got a layer of newspaper and compost. They are ready to go now!
If you have a persistent perennial weed like quack grass, you need to put down layers of cardboard, making sure they overlap. But it’s truly the best and only way I have found to keep weeds away!
Laura Jeanne says
Thank you! Sounds like cardboard it is. Yes, it is quack grass I have, and it seems to get worse year by year. It’s all in the walkways and in every bed. The more you pull it the faster it spreads. I prefer to call it devil’s grass, for good reason. But I will try smothering it with as much cardboard as I can find.
Leila says
Also, as you can see, there are lots of weeds LOL… on the edges. Of everything. What is one to do? So much work, so few hands, so little time and money… I’m happy to have gotten the beds and walkways mostly under control, and no dig has been a tremendous revelation!