I thought I'd give you a little pep talk for the St. Gregory Pockets! (The feast of St. Gregory, September 3, is next week, Labor Day, so maybe this is a good spur to action if you've been thinking you want to start or join one!)
Probably most of us are asking, “What can we do?” — in response to the crisis of faith that we are experiencing (ours or others'). There seems to be no shortage of attacks from within and without. We feel helpless and little, but the truth is that Christianity spread throughout the world by means of people living quietly, raising their families, loving their neighbor, and being friends.
And that's what the St. Gregory Pocket is about. We encourage you to make in-real-life friends for the long term. Don't waste your time with endless Facebook group discussions or forums where you will never meet the people you are talking to. Your children need to grow up thinking “these real people are my people” — good people who sacrifice for each other and who also have a good time together, enjoying each other's company with a right good will.
(Below is a shot taken by my friend Lina of her St. Greg Pocket gathering. Isn't it wonderful to see so many children playing with each other — all ages together, while the moms sip iced tea and talk about whatever is on their minds!* We love to see your St. Greg's Pocket snaps!!)
*Update from Lina (I really didn't know what they were doing — I asked her for permission to use the photo and didn't want to bug her more than that; on the LMLD Facebook page she posted the following):
What was great about the gathering in the photo was that it wasn’t just moms and children; it was whole families. The men hung out around the kitchen island talking engagedly about books and vehicles and whatever else, the women say around the table chatting, the kids played, and I think everyone had a good time. We even had one single woman attend, which made me happy because I remember being single in my thirties and rather lonely, and how good it felt to be included with the families.
Many heart emoji for this, Lina!!
The St. Gregory Pocket is not (or not only) a book club, but we do encourage members to read articles, documents, and books to share with each other in conversation, whether women together, or couples, or men.
My experience is that when people are reading some of the same things, the opportunity is there for a real exchange of ideas — and it comes in handy, too, when the conversation needs a little direction. Using our blog as a touch-point ensures that you will have something in common with the people who join — more even than that you all baby-wear or use cloth diapers!
If you and your friends are too busy to read a book, my posts here on LMLD, short articles, and documents of the Church work perfectly. And there are some books that are a joy to have read together and have in common; these days when we find our own education has let us down, we can do something about it on our own, together! You can take a long time if you want — no rush! And if you are homeschooling older children, you can take the opportunity to read some of their material with your friends; this will help when it comes time to discuss things with your children.
I thought it might be helpful to have a reading list — sort of the LMLD hive-mind (or collective memory, if you will) to dip into if you need suggestions that relate to moral and family life and general intellectual stimulation.
These are not in order of importance, obviously! Maybe more in order of what you could suggest as you get started, and then as you go along and have known each other better. (For background on what Pockets are and how they got started, and for a list of Pockets, go here.)
- Certain posts here on the blog. We have a menu bar up above that does have the most important ones gathered for easy reference. I know that could be better; even better would be a book; working on it! Some groups have printed out the menu posts and just hashed them over, for instance. It helps for mutual encouragement! When you have in common that you enjoy reading the blog, conversation flows.
- The {bits & pieces} feature obviously links to great articles! So you can browse those. A couple I would suggest especially (but I chose them mostly at random from my archive of articles!):
Why Young Readers Need Real Books by Maura Roan McKeegan
Will Rascals Defend Our Civilization… and What Books Will They Read? by William Fahey
The 3 Characteristics of an Educated Man by Brett and Kate McKay
Essays — maybe for couples' discussions!
- The Necessary Failure of Inclusive-Language Translations by Paul Mankowski, SJ
- One of my favorite essays of Fr. Schall's: On a Small Point of Doctrine
- On Sex Education — by me!
Again, if you look through the archives of {bits & pieces} you will come across articles that are fun and worth a glance, but also ones that I have thought are truly worth reading and discussing.
Documents of the Church. Why do I recommend these? People are always making things up about Christianity. Why not do some studying and find out what is really taught?
- Casti Connubii — On Chaste Marriage. Lives have been changed by reading this long encyclical. I have a reading help for it: my book God Has No Grandchildren (see below in the books section), which is based on posts I did here.
- Divini Illius Magistri — On Christian Education. Read especially for Pius XI's explanation of how the “three necessary societies” work together, and why boys and girls should be educated separately in schools.
- Humanae Vitae — On Human Life. Best read after Casti Connubii.
- Mulieris Dignitatem — The Dignity and Vocation of Women. I wrote about this here.
Books for the Pocket:
The Amazon links are affiliate links — I receive a small amount of money when you buy, no cost to you. Thank you!
- The Restoration of Christian Culture by John Senior. (These Amazon links are affiliate links.)
- The Abolition of Man by C. S. Lewis. This can be a difficult read, short as it is. I recommend reading That Hideous Strength, a novel, along with it. You could always start with The Screwtape Letters (and that would make Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child by Anthony Esolen easier to discuss if people aren't familiar with the satirical genre).
- Planet Narnia by Michael Ward, if everyone has read Narnia and the Space Trilogy, of course.
- God Has No Grandchildren: A Guided Reading of Pius XI's Encyclical Casti Connubii, On Chaste Marriage. This book includes the whole text of the encyclical along with my commentary on it. The appendix is an essay I wrote that demonstrates that Pope Francis' apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia contradicts the encyclical's teaching, which has its roots in antiquity.
- Any Jane Austen novel! (Persuasion has the virtue of being short.) And then, when you've read and enjoyed them all, The Jane Austen Guide to Happily Ever After by Elizabeth Kantor. (The footnotes of this book are a delight.)
- If you want a book to help you and your friends throw off the shackles of feminism and find a different vision of how men and women can interact with social virtue, I highly recommend Return to Modesty by Wendy Shalit.
- The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom An incredibly moving story, The Hiding Place contains many bits of parenting wisdom as Corrie recounts her wise father's actions and words. In our quest to raise our children to be saints and if necessary, heroes, the book is a wonderful help.
- Peace Like a River by Lief Enger. Pay attention to the names. This book is full of Biblical imagery and is basically about salvation history, that's all…
- What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty (also highly recommended, this audio version from Audible). An excellent book about marriage.
- Vipers' Tangle by François Mauriac. If you happen to have a group that can handle an unreliable narrator in an epistolary novel, this is the one for you.
- The Temperament God Gave You. I've written about how I recommend this book highly here; Deirdre says this was the most enjoyable read for her St. Greg's Pocket in Manchester. It really got everyone talking about themselves and their families — a great ice breaker! — and it's really extremely helpful to understand everyone better.
- A well received book for spiritual reading in a group is A Mind at Peace by Christopher Blum. This book is about the four cardinal virtues in practical life and combines good scholarship with an approachable format, including study questions that facilitate discussion and meditation.
Anything from the LMLD Library Project.
This should keep you for a while! Email me if you need discussion guidance, and maybe I'll update the post with my thoughts!
Katie says
Thank you for the roundup, and very much looking forward to your book. I am too shy to join a pocket now, but I enjoy reading about them and (perhaps) slowly working up the courage.
Cristina Reintjes says
Why am I not surprised that Vermont doesn’t have a pocket? Looks like the Manchester NH group is only an hour and a half though 🤔
Abby Badillo says
Cristina – I don’t know where in VT you are but I just had the same thought! There is a good Catholic homeschooling group in the greater Burlington area (which is my area, and which my kids and I are part of) but I wish there was an actual pocket…
Leila says
Ladies, follow the directions in the linked post about how to get a Pocket started (you can just be the person who puts up the closed FB post — you don’t have to be the one to organize etc)! I know that there are MANY great families and wonderful people in Vermont. You don’t have to go driving for hours 🙂
If you put up a group, let me know and I will post something about it in bits and pieces if you want. You will see — they will come!
Dixie says
Abby and Cristina, when I lived in Middlebury (50 minutes from Burlington) there were many good and serious Catholic families in the area! Granted, that was 15 years ago, but I’m sure there are others who would join you!
Cristina Reintjes says
I’m in South Royalton so Burlington is further than the New Hampshire pocket for me 😂. I might try setting up a pocket, but I have only met one practing Catholic woman since I’ve moved here that is younger than seventy or so—the local churches are fairly….empty. Maybe if I try to set up a pocket this weekend I can find where everyone is hiding….and have it up and running in time to get myself a meal train going for this new baby 🤗
Liz Swift says
I know that it is daunting to think of doing the whole cross generational thing, but as a young mom some of my best friends were older ladies. I was in a UCC congregation at that point, and my husband and I were quite literally the token young couple. The women who were just older than me (by 10 years or so) were all extremely liberal theologically and I was not. I found that the older ladies still held onto the fundamental beliefs of the Christian faith. Now I’m one of the old ladies (and a Catholic convert), but I’m an old lady with a lot of young friends. This afternoon I head out to do co-op type lit classes with the children of some of my former co-op lit class kids. I still find the vast majority of my cradle Catholic contemporaries to be well to the left of me, but I enjoy my young friends and their kids. I’m also in Vermont, not as far away as Burlington, but the other side of the mountain so to speak (just north of Rutland), so also not all that close to you, and I’m Abby’s mom. It’s hard for people in some other areas to realize just how difficult it is to travel from one part of this state to another. It’s easier along the I-89 corridor, but you’re right Burlington is still a haul from South Royalton. I hope you find some kindred spirits in your area.
Victoria says
I know Leila has said this before, but just to add my own voice: the more local, the better. I don’t know how many kids you have, but the more you have the more you wish there was someone who had your back just down the street from you. As a really social person myself, I sometimes want to be friends with the really cool mom who lives 40 mins away, but I have to be realistic: I don’t have the time or stamina to drive that far regularly.
L says
I sat on the couch and read What Alice Forgot straight through the day before my scheduled induction with my first born baby and sobbed the entire time. I don’t think that non-pregnant people would necessarily have the same response. I have to say the marriage in that story was not what struck me the most at the particular moment I was reading it. Instead (doubtless because I was due to give birth for the first time the next day) it read like a cautionary tale and reminder of how quickly life accumulates. I really couldn’t stand the thought of waking up and having missed the first twelve years of motherhood, it was really a silly thing for me to do on that particular day. But I did enjoy it in a way!
With this pregnancy I read Jayber Crow and I’ve been going through the (old) Circe Close Read podcasts for that book. Have you read much Wendell Berry, Leila? Maybe his politics don’t perfectly align with yours but he definitely has a respect for the collective wisdom of past generations. I think his works would probably be great fodder for Gregory’s Pockets, too.
Elizabeth S says
I read Hannah Coulter with a mom’s book group and it led to wonderful conversations!
Mignon says
Well, I must say this was a nice thing to see tonight. I was feeling a bit down after spending too much time today reading about Vigano, Cardinal McCarrick and that whole mess that I had been assiduously avoiding knowing anything about before now, and then, this lovely piece, here, on your blog, reminding me of all that we do have, in the here and now, where we live, with all the lovely people who make up our lives, encourage us, provide playmates for our children, meals when we are sick or have just had a baby, intellectual and spiritual encouragement when our hearts need it most……. so thank you, Auntie Leila.
Lisa G. says
Mignon, don’t feel down. I just now finished reading that eleven page letter. Yes, it’s horrible. But here we have a true Catholic (Vigano), a bishop who actually believes in God, who believes in the Judgment. He is courageous.