If you are new here to our blog, welcome!
You may not know that back in the day, when blogging was a thing everyone did for fun and not monetization, we had a link-up called {pretty, happy, funny, real} — the idea came to me one day in a flash of inspiration, and I must say it was fun! People would link up their posts with all the nice, funny, and honestly bonkers things that had happened during the week!
But then link-ups sort of faded as people moved on to Instagram and so on, and it was a lot of work for me to be sure we had that post every week while also trying to write my books. Those posts are still memorialized up in the menu bar if you want to have a look!
But today I have a {phfr} — not a link-up, although you could certainly share your blog or Instagram post in the comments, but just a visit today, along those lines of sharing and chatty!
AND I HAVE A CONFESSION! I will put it in my {real} down below!!
{pretty}
Progress on the rec-room-turned-craft-room… I am loving the brick and the white! New sconces are coming (in my house, there is little overhead lighting, but lots of random sconces on the walls) and other details that I will put in a proper before-and-after post soon, I hope! Meanwhile, I have a mountain of ironing to do, since I moved it up here and then promptly put this room out of action.
Hence, the deployed ironing board. (You can see a few more peeks on my IG)
{happy}
I made that King Arthur Pan de Cristal recipe, following it exactly, and am so happy that finally I have produced that light, airy, sort of dry yet toothsome bread I've been after for so long! I'm working on a sourdough version too, and will keep you updated.
{funny}
Leila Miller shared a meme that was basically saying, “If I have to parallel park, I just won't go” and I had to boast to her about how I used to squeeze my Suburban into the tiniest spaces in Cambridge, MA, when Rosie was at school there and I would go visit her. I was a real pro! No space was too small!
However, as I texted Leila, I have now completely lost my touch. Despite back-up camera, beeping, and of course a much smaller car, I cannot for the life of me get it into any sort of spot straight!
I don't know whether it's the vehicle's curved lines or the disappearing, sloped hood, or what, but I am truly hopeless!
I had to send her these pics to make up for my vain boasts! So I thought I'd share them with you so that you can continue laughing at me!
{real}
MY CONFESSION!!
So, on the Amazon listing for The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life (affiliate link), early on there was one review that simply and stunningly says,
1.0 out of 5 stars So much spanking
This woman encourages frequent spanking. So much spanking. She recommends hitting children regularly to keep them obedient
Well, that kind of took my breath away! Considering how many thousands of words I have written on the subject of discipline — on being firm and affectionate, on learning patience and self control, and yes, on spanking, but seldom and effectively, to avoid psychological manipulation, which can be so very dangerous — this was quite the shocker! “So much spanking?” “regularly”??
But now it must be said!
I have a confession!
I did write a post in which I not only said you should spank children regularly, I said you should line them up at the same time every day and spank them!
I said that this approach is the only way to ensure consistency and to avoid all sorts of issues, that I laid out systematically in six numbered points, concluding with the Spanking Paradox, viz.,
6. Spanking reduction. Yes! It’s true! This method actually results in fewer punishments for most children! They will thank you because this way they only get one spank every day! Win-win!
I confess! IT'S ALL TRUE! I WROTE THAT!
BUT — this was my April Fool post from 2014, and yes, I included it in the book! To be honest, I put a lot of effort into that post and I consider it some of my best work! Or at least, something that certainly represents my peculiar sense of humor, funneled to me from my amusing husband; so I thought it should not be left out of my vast archival work, since part of my aim is to be known, not necessarily in a lot of personal details but in the honesty of my thought processes!
But I guess some people have no sense of humor!
I love you, my readers… that post has so many funny comments, one of which is “My kids are really wishing I had read to the end before lining them up! ;)”
So, let the chips fall where they may… I will say this: I think that commenter did me a favor! I got a lot of messages to the effect of, “I figured that a book that got someone that mad about spanking had to be up my alley! It made me pull the trigger and buy the set!”
And of course, I am so grateful for the 79 other people who left me five stars and helpful and approving reviews. The truth is that it helps so much to have reviews on Amazon — it makes it so that their algorithm produces my book to others who might not have ever heard of it.
So if you ever think to yourself, “What little thing, not requiring a lot of commitment or effort, could I do for Auntie” — the answer would be, “Please leave a nice review on Amazon, even if it's one word!”
If you had a {pretty, happy, funny, real} this week, feel free to share! There is a hashtag on Instagram (#prettyhappyfunnyreal) that has some posts, and I have a feeling that it would not be a bad idea to revive it! I'll see you there…
bits & pieces
- Someone asked me about making sourdough panettone, and this is the recipe I used a while back. It's not quite as complicated as it seems (though granted, there are two doughs). I did not go through the whole pasta madre rabbit hole (maybe later haha) and honestly, using my rather stiff starter worked beautifully! However, you really do need to have those paper molds and hang the loaves upside down after baking. Mine came out really perfectly but did collapse because I thought I could get away with it. These are the ones I have on the way.(affiliate link) If you live near me, I'd be happy to share my order with you — don't think I'll be making 12 panettone!
- Robert Reilly always edifies. I was happy to see this article about Haydn’s Music of Gratitude and Goodness. Did you notice that I chose Haydn for my intro music on my podcast? I have to say that I am often shocked at the terrible, assaulting, and anti-cultural music employed on many podcasts that I would otherwise enjoy (not to mention background music on videos and reels etc). (Look for my next podcast sometime next week, assuming I get over the near-laryngitis left from my cold!)
- On a tragic note, please read this article:17 Years After They Starved My Sister to Death, We Must Never Forget Terri Schiavo and heed its advice to set up the proper legal form for medical care in case of your losing the ability to make decisions — and in the case of your children over the age of 12 as well. A living will, so called, is not enough.
- I liked this short video about weight loss (really, overall health) after menopause and I think it applies to any woman at any stage of life struggling with certain issues this doctor describes. I get very frustrated with people (men) who blithely assume that if you simply count calories and exercise you will become trim. Yes, if you are a man, this is usually true (which makes you wonder how there can be so many obese men!). But for a woman it's far trickier — and there are issues way beyond our control, about our food supply and even water supply. But the simple explanation and advice in this video helps – I've been following it myself and can attest to it.
- I was sad to hear of the passing of Christopher Alexander — perhaps we could pray for his soul! Longtime readers here know how much I admire his work. I pray that he may be brought into that ultimate heavenly Pattern, the Source of all patterns!
from the archives
- Speaking of comments from our wonderful readers, I wish the comments to this post had not been lost in our move over to this platform. I remember them as very insightful. Men without chests, or, what C. S. Lewis made me think about.
- We're almost to the end of Lent. Now is the acceptable time… now is the time to begin again. The Rule of Life
liturgical living
We are turning the corner and beginning to anticipate Passiontide. Time to intensify our mortification while realizing that only in Christ is our hope.
follow us everywhere!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available now from Sophia Press! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
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We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram. Sukie’s Instagram. Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest (you can still get a lot of inspiration here! and say a prayer for her!). Bridget’s Pinterest.
Anna Donnelly says
Done! After reading about five pages of The Summa Domestica during my initial interspersed perusal, I thought of writing a comment somewhere, saying that you are one of my favorite people, as this hit me very straight-on as I read (even though we’ve never met.) But I didn’t want to bother you or clutter anything up. So now, I have an outlet for my comment. I added my five-star review.
Leila says
Thank you so much!
bethanne says
I remember {PHFR!} and I participated as a way to see beauty in my everyday at a time when things were lean for us. It was a good spiritual practice for me to seek and act out gratitude in my life and I was always blown away by the amazing way others looked at their difficulties. And it was always great when Laila would comment on your post…it was like a bonus! (I even took up learning to knit for a few weeks after seeing one of the beautiful baby sweaters for one of Laila’s earlier grandchildren.) I was sad when {PHFR} ended, but I understood. What a good thing to remember today! Thank you for the gift you’ve been in my life and the lives of others.
Sarah S. says
Amen! PHFR helped me to see the pretty and the humorous in our life in the early years of lots of babies to tend to and little support nearby.
Kelsey Joy Beason says
I liked the weight loss video. A connection between IF and the architecture of the home was pointed out to me this week. In these new, open concept houses the kitchen is always open! You can’t help but graze. In older homes (my house was built in 1912) you can literally clean the kitchen, turn off the light, and close the door. The kitchen is closed! Fasting after dinner was part of life. Built in lessons of self-control!
Leila says
That’s a good point!
Mrs. Bee says
When I went to see my new doctor there were a bunch of forms to fill, a lot regarding eating habits. One line you could check was “I am confused by nutritional advice” – you bet I checked that in a hurry!! That said, the low-carb high-good-fat diet seems to make a lot of sense and it makes me happy to use great butter with no guilt, eat eggs with abandon, drink whole milk instead of white water! But my weight refuses to budge no matter how many carbs I do not eat 🙁 Speaking of intermittent fasting, I remember reading women get mixed results and they should not do it the way men do, but I wonder where I read that… Recently I happened upon Joseph Shaw’s experience here: https://issuu.com/latinmasssociety/docs/moa_spring_2021_final/s/11734502 Again, there is a lot that makes sense, I especially like that we can choose to go back to being able to highlight Sundays and the great feasts. I’ve had this hunch for a good while that too many days look like Sundays, food-wise – there have been many times when I’ve baked a cake for no reason, it doesn’t feel right.
But Auntie Leila, have some mercy… you can’t show us bread pictures and then link to a low-carb video!! The Spanish poet Garcia Lorca famously wrote, What would life be without roses! I could say, What would life be without good bread!
Leila says
I began trying to close my “window” of eating a few years ago simply by pushing my breakfast off, first for 30 minutes, then a little more, then a little more.
I still have my tea upon returning from Mass (with sugar in non-penitential times and honey otherwise, and milk or cream). I usually do not finish my cup…
Then I just see how long I can go before I need a meal.
I’m up to sometime between 12 and 1:30. I really can’t go longer than that. If I get hungry before noon (in that shaky way that sometimes happens), I have some nuts and maybe a date. That usually makes it so I can go quite a bit longer. And I try to remember to drink water too, before lunch.
I agree that women have more trouble than men, and certainly if one is pregnant or nursing, she shouldn’t think about it.
One thing that is huge is to stop drinking anything but water (other than that one cup of tea or coffee) until the wine or cocktail at dinner.
And when I began, I was determined to do all of it “liturgically” — that is, if it’s a feast day or Sunday, I just don’t worry about it.
And I certainly don’t intend to give up nice bread! I do find that now I want much less in the way of carbs. I still love my ice cream, though! Can’t wait for Easter!
Mrs. Bee says
Well, what’s breakfast for Italians anyway 🙂 I’m not ready to eat when I get up in the morning, but I’m used to drinking a bit of coffee in a cup of milk – and even that I often stretch over a long time, I end up reheating it in the microwave several times! So it wouldn’t be difficult to simply move the time when I prepare it. I find it hard to drink water when I’m fasting, though it helps to add lemon juice to it. I confess tea in the cold months is often a bedtime treat for me: a steaming hot cup of Earl Grey with a bit of honey and some lemon juice as I sit up and read in bed – that can peacefully end the most hectic of days, I can literally feel all my cares melting away. I find that the caffeine in it does not affect me at all, I fall fast asleep as soon as I close my eyes and I am a super sound sleeper.
Twelve days until ice cream for Auntie Leila!
Lisa G. says
Mrs. Bee, I did IF for a year or so, and liked it, but never lost any weight. I’d go 16-20 hours in the morning until food, but no weight loss. I am 66 and Must have insulin resistance – I think at this age, many people do. I will say that, like Leila, I had no wish to follow IF on Sundays or holidays – those are for enjoyment and relaxing the “rules”. Anyway, this Lent I decided to cut out wheat as much as possible, which has ended up being about 95 percent – I have had some when I didn’t know what else to do. I lost seven pounds in a month! I also increased vegetables and struggled to have as little sweetness as possible, considering it’s Lent. No dessert except Sunday, and then only a fruit dessert. I avoid eating between meals as much as possible. I mean, I am trying to be in the desert as much as possible. I am hungry a lot of the time; you do get used to it. There have been a couple of birthdays at work where I had cake, but I don’t want to be fanatical or stuffy about celebrating with friends who don’t observe Lent.
In previous years I would never have “dieted” during Lent, which is a spiritual time. But I had prayed about losing weight for a long time and suddenly realized that wheat was something I had a problem with – I needed it. And Lent is the time to depend on God, so after seeing it differently, I also realized that I suddenly felt I was able to try it. I hope the weight loss continues because I’d like to lose another twenty pounds! And I really don’t want to go back to eating something that my body apparently isn’t needing, or utilizing properly. There’s a lot more I could say, but this is long enough. xo
Mrs. Bee says
Thank you for sharing your experience, Lisa! I am younger than you and I’ve never done IF, though for a few years now I’ve followed the old rules for Lenten fasting. It’s excellent mortification (meaning it’s not pleasant at all!) and it focuses all Lenten efforts by reminding me that my own struggle is quite pathetic compared to what others – and Our Lord – are suffering, so I don’t feel sorry for myself! This year I finally had the idea of having one very specific intention for every day of Lent, and that, too, has made fasting more beautiful and easier to embrace, so to speak. So the mindset is not one of dieting (I started slashing carbs months ago), but I can’t help observing that it hasn’t made a difference – not that I am shocked, I already know I simply need the end of the world to lose weight! So I don’t have hopes for IF in that regard, I am intrigued because it sorts of carries a Lent-like mentality into the whole year – a focus on moderation and self control which is appealing. Best wishes to you!
Christina A says
Love these Saturday posts!
This is off-topic, but I think recently you mentioned somewhere that SPF in facial moisturizer should be avoided so we can get our vitaminD from sunlight, and you were hoping for recommendations. Gold Bond now makes this great Pure Moisture Daily Body and Face Lotion. It’s concentrated and thick compared to the WalMart-brand Neutrogena knockoff I had been using, and a 14oz container of it barely costs more than the 4oz WalMart lotion. I just lotion my hands and then put a little of the excess on my face. It’s also dye- and fragrance-free if you have sensitive skin. 🙂
Leila says
Good to know! On my podcast I mentioned that makeup has sunblock in it — foundation and powder. At least the ones I use do. What I was saying is that in the winter, the face is the only part of the body exposed to the sun! How are we to get our vitamin D, even in the pitiful amounts that we northerners can obtain.
Christina A says
The podcast! That’s where it was. I was listening while laundry-ing, and misfiled foundation/powder as lotion. Anyway, off to check if my powder has sunblock…
awlenka says
Hello, I’ve always enjoyed these tags. I plan to post this tag in Czech on my blog. Only then it’s more difficult to link, because it would only be understandable through a translator. I have your book “Oratory” at home, but I must admit that I struggle a lot with English. I can’t judge it, you probably write in a very nice style and have a large vocabulary, but it is very difficult for me as a foreigner. I wish someone would translate your Summa Domestica into our language. 😀
Thanks for the inspiring blog. The spanking thing was funny. 🙂
Terri says
Just hopping on quickly to say how much I enjoy your podcast. The information is helpful, of course, but it is just so nice to hear your voice.
Murielle Blanchard says
Hi Auntie Leila! I have enjoyed your blog over the years since becoming a mother back in 2016 and having LMLD recommended to me when I admitted on Facebook that I was struggling to find satisfaction and joy in my vocation. This is my first comment, though! I asked for the Summa Domestica for Christmas and am about halfway through vol. 2. Thank you for your advice and inspiration. At this point, the exhausting stage with 4 littles (and being pregnant with another), it helps to know that there’s life on the other side of child-raising! Haha. One quick question for you: where did you get that lovely old-fashioned ironing board? My mother-in-law has one in that style too! I don’t know where to find them.
Leila says
A friend gave it to me when she was cleaning out some of her stuff… and of course she got it from an aunt or something.
You just have to wrestle your MIL for it!! 🙂
I have seen them in junk/antiques shops too, if that’s not an option. Check FB marketplace and so on!