History shows that the bishops, in particular, won't be a lot of help, starting with St. Peter that fateful night when he couldn't admit to a serving maid that he knew Our Lord. Still. It might happen that a priest would be willing to read this encyclical, for instance, with you, and that would be a good thing. (105).
God, it turns out, didn't order the world so that if you aren't the President you are helpless. He didn't order reality so that if you don't have earthly power, you are pretty much sunk.
He did the opposite. He confounded the wise, you know? (I Corinthians 1:27) He made the littlest things of the utmost importance.
He made reality so that a man who humbly does a sort of unpleasant job for the sake of his family is in fact the real lord of the manor, with many dependents (ones he may never see or meet in this world) and much fruitfulness. A man of no account in the world of law-making or no voice in the even more important world of preaching and spiritual leadership can yet be the builder of a rich culture and the sower of prosperous fields.
If you don't really think this is true and real — that it is actually His plan to use the weak to confound the mighty — then you will miss precisely what it is you say you seek — a way to do important things!
This is the key to understanding how it is that a woman's call to love the little place of her home is such a great and even momentous action in the world — if you have ears to hear it. If you can love the hidden and resist the lure of the oversized and loud and lucrative claim to fame, you will have the privilege to know how it can be that one woman, one family, one home — yours — can change and build and restore.
In 112 and 113 especially, we have strong reminders of the bad things that happen if we neglect to have a good home and the good things that will happen if we try to have a good home.
God wills that… the father be truly a father, and the mother truly a mother; through their devout love and unwearying care, the home, though it suffer the want and hardship of this valley of tears, may become for the children in its own way a foretaste of that paradise of delight in which the Creator placed the first men of the human race. Thus will they be able to bring up their children as perfect men and perfect Christians; they will instill into them a sound understanding of the Catholic Church, and will give them such a disposition and love for their fatherland as duty and gratitude demand. (113)
All the things of the earth: The state (“their fatherland”), the Church (the spiritual community), and the person in his context of the family — all these depend on how things are lived in the home — and what the children are taught by their devoted parents. Because, as we keep repeating, the whole of humanity, every person, passes through the family, God willing, on his or her way to heaven.
I know that the question of how — how to live this family life (even in “want and hardship”) — is the burning question, once we've gone and made the commitment. (Occasionally, the reverse happens: Folks live the little things well and then realize they've gone and built themselves a good life. What a blessing!)
I can remember sitting with my baby and basically saying, “The spirit is willing but the flesh has no idea how to proceed.” Cue many years of re-inventing that particular wheel, and many tears.
And so, dear reader, that is why this blog even exists, which is what I reminded myself when I was wondering how the heck to wrap things up. “Oh, right, I have a blog about this.”
We're just trying to answer the question, “What now?” in our own, blind-leading-the-blind, well-how-about-making-your-menus-and-resting-on-Sundays sort of way.
We try to keep the ranting about how bad things are “out there” to a minimum, on the theory that what really matters is what we do “in here.” My thought for you, even as I read this encyclical and wonder just what dear old Pius XI would think of the state of things today, prophetic as he was, is the same as my thought for me: Let's take our sweet Lord at His word, and go do unto some little ones.
And we just hope it helps. It's all we've got!
Wendy in VA says
God bless you and yours, Auntie Leila. This post (and this blog, for that matter) are priceless.
Liz says
Gorgeous photos! And such very very good commentary on a very very good encyclical. Thank you for going through it for (and with) us!
Now I'd better go and do unto a needy 7 month old…
🙂
Katie says
Awesome. Love you. Love it. Especially the little reminder about God using the weak to confound the wise. As a woman, “powerless” in my thankless servitude to my husband and home . . . feeling pretty encouraged! I've known for so long how little I put aside and how much I gained by embracing my vocation. It has been wonderful sharing this reading with you.
Lauren says
Just beautifu, dear Auntie! I have been waiting on the edge of my seat for the final installment. Thisseriously helped make this Lent my most fruitful ever. Many thanks!!!!!
ellenjohnson824500384 says
This was my favorite Casti Connubii post of them all! Thank you for having “a blog about this”. This young homemaker and mother is very grateful for your wise reflections and practical advice!
Kathy says
I've followed along from the beginning and while I'm sad to see the wrapping up of this discussion, I treasure all I've gained from it – thank you.
Anna says
My thought has always been that if we can learn how to love our spouses well, and raise our children to love God, we have gained a greater treasure and done greater things than anything else we could accomplish in this world. Thanks for a perfect ending to a much-needed reflection on the significance of the family. Amazing, isn't it, how our culture ignores such a fundamental truth?
Jena says
Just love this! I'm a newbie mom with just one toddler and trying to figure out the path we should be on, but it's a comforting reminder that if we do what is right and good in our home, make a habit of it, and set the loving example for others, we fulfill our purpose and create a great nest for our family. We may not have a large audience of influence, but we can do the best with the audience we DO have, and perhaps one day they will spread the influence further.
Maria says
Your conclusions about the overlooked importance of family life are very affirming — in other words, we live as we do for the best of reasons.
AND I think those eggs in the last photo are just beautiful. Did someone in your family make them?
_Leila says
Maria, those eggs were made by Deirdre, Habou, and Bridget! The did “modified Pysanky-like” things like using only wax and vinegar or only two colors — all the complicated Pysanky things are down at Deirdre's place!
DeirdreLMLD says
Well, and the two-toned one in the very foreground is by The Artist!
Ashley says
thank you, so very encouraging! so thankful for what you are doing for all of our families with your blog — what a gift!!
Wanda says
This has been priceless Auntie! I have come to the realization that my role is now that of protecting the families of my children, raising these grandchildren as I did my own and teaching them about faith and their Church. As I write, I am out at a ranch with my second daughter. She has to see a client out here once a year and this year invited me along so that she would not be too separated from the baby. They need and want me and nothing makes me more happy or teaches me more about selflessness than that!
God bless!
Nancy says
Your blog is a blessing! AND as we create and continue in building the culture in our homes, we will need to stick together, especially as the “out there” continues to get crazier.
Iris H. @ WLFI says
This is beautiful! Thank you.
@byzcathwife says
We try to keep the ranting about how bad things are “out there” to a minimum, on the theory that what really matters is what we do “in here.”
yes! I must stop ranting and just BE (and work and pray)
Jamie says
This is a way of seeing things that I had not considered before. Right on! We bemoan what we see and hear 'out there'. We are 'powerless' to stop it. Yet, we can! We are very powerful influences and teachers of our children and powerful caretakers of our homes. We have much that we do have power over. And therefore we have a significant influence much!
Claire says
Amen, dear Leila. God bless you and yours. You are a blessing to all of us.
Your LDS friend,
Claire
Mrs C says
Thank you for this. My husband and I were disc using this issue only this morning. You put it much more eloquently than I was able.
Margo says
I'm afraid I was more focused on the pom pom garland. I love it. I pinned it. Can you tell me more about it?
_Leila says
Margo, I will post about it soon.
jswankdesigns says
I have to affirm your success in keeping ranting to a minimum!!! I think it might even be at zero. Thank you, it's so refreshing. Reading your posts – even if they're just about soup – gives me the same feeling I've always gotten from reading Laura Ingalls Wilder (which I've rediscovered lately while listening with my son) and awakens good longings in me for wholeness and serenity at home through all of those little “chores” done well, which I am always all so tempted to think of as peripheral and holding me back. God knew I needed to discover this blog just before I became a mother two and half years ago! I wish I'd found it before I got married; I might've been saved from buying new furniture at Ikea! 🙂
_Leila says
jswankdesigns, you are too kind. We've all bought our share of Ikea furniture or the like — don't worry. (The blue dresser in my bedroom is from Ikea…). It's all good and we're all learning! Thanks for joining us!
Helene says
This is the best Catholic family blog anywhere, anyhow, period. Keeping it positive and fun and full of those delicious details about house and home along with these “bigger picture” posts will ensure its continued success, I am sure. God bless you for all of this important work.
Anitra says
Thank you for this! I still haven't read the encyclical, I admit. But I think you're right on, with the possible exception of the church. I love that my pastor loves to preach about marriage: it is a picture of Christ and the church, and our roles need to reflect that! (HOW they reflect it is certainly going to be different in each family – but the husband leads and loves sacrificially, the wife follows and submits, and they serve each other and both lead the children.)
I also appreciate your effort to keep things positive and focus on “let's figure out how to do this” rather than “let's complain that we don't know how to do this and the world is messed up so no one ever taught us” 🙂
Fatima says
Thank you, Auntie Leila. Happy Easter to your family! I did read what you suggested, though yet to delve deep into all the meaning. And the photos are so much like fresh spring at your home.
Whitney says
There's a section of that that just made my “favorite quotes” list. You're now listed among the likes of Kordestani (Google Executive), Hawthorne, John Wayne, and a fictional character called The Doctor.
sarah marie says
As a wife and mama of an almost-eleven-month-old, I have just loved this series. I'll be honest: I fell behind in the reading of the encyclical itself (cue sad face), but I found your posts edifying and uplifting nonetheless. Thank you, thank you, for doing this series.
Theresa Korte says
Wish I could sit down and write a long letter and share all my thoughts. I cannot in a short post say how I have benefited from this study. My dear friends will be reading this encyclical if for no other reason than to shut me up (I have been non stop… “YOU HAVE TO READ THIS ENCYCLICAL!”) One of the fruits of this study is I have made the decision to plan a celebration for our 25th wedding anniversary next month. When I mentioned the idea to my husband he said ” do people do that?” and unfortunately in our corner of the world they are not doing that…but guess what… we are! I checked and the Mass intention was open for that day and our pastor said he would be happy to do a renewal of vows or blessing of our marriage at the Mass. I cannot tell you how excited I am. Now I would like to hear suggestions for the party…I am thinking finger foods and displaying lots of pictures. My daughter and I have been wanting to paint a silhouette of a tree in the front hallway and hang our family pictures so I am hoping to tackle that project as well. Prayers and ideas would be appreciated!