She was made in 2017 but has the bulky, clunky lines of a 70s Buick. If she were wearing a swimsuit, it would no doubt feature stays. If she were flouncing in an evening gown, it would be made of brown and beige gingham.
She’s not your curvy, chromium, panel-of-blinking-lights millennial beauty, that’s for sure! No computers here!
In fact, she doesn’t have one light. Not one.
I could go for one light, to be honest, to know she was on. But I’m not complaining!
Meet my Speed Queen, Miss America (made totally in Wisconsin!). I had been searching on FBMP for a used one. I am not up for paying $1300 for a new one that has to meet the People’s Commissariat’s dictats about water use etc.
Did you know that washers today don’t fill with water, agitate, spin, and drain, as you might reasonably expect? They don’t even really cover the contents with water, and as far as rinsing goes, they simply spray a bit of water and give the clothes a shake? No wonder things (and especially sheets and towels) just don’t seem, and in fact are not, clean, ever!
I was about to give up, though.
One used appliance place, one state over, had a 20-year-old SQ they wanted $500 for. I went to one other place an hour away and honestly, I feel lucky to still be alive — it was not, shall we say, savory. And the appliances were suspect. I would have risked my well being for a good one, but as it was, I thought it the better part of prudence to make a quick exit.
I was so close to giving up, in fact, that I went into Lowes to see if they had any sort of analog washer (they don’t). I stood in there, fending off perfectly nice salesmen, and sternly spoke to myself in this manner:
“Just be normal. You can buy one of these. How about this one (Whirlpool)? Look! It’s a top loader with a removable agitator. What a good idea! You can get the best of both worlds. You could wash a comforter in there but also agitate a load of jeans.
“Just buy it.”
But then I read the reviews and it was the same old story: the clothes just don’t get clean.
The profound irony of strict water usage regulations: tale after tale of the consumer having to run the cycle again (using double the water) or having to use the second rinse cycle (ditto, though as I say, it’s a pitiful amount). And having the motherboard fail just after the warranty expires.
Reader, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make myself buy one of them.
Later, I was talking to Deirdre and she reminded me to look on Craigslist.
There I found it, the dream listing:
Speed Queen made in 2017 (which I confirmed by looking at the serial number, and which represents the last year before the dictats really kicked in with a vengeance), like new, stored in a heated place. It was an hour and fifteen minutes away. The Chief and I loaded up in the truck and headed down there.
Just as with my Bosch dishwasher, as we pulled up to the house I realized I had struck gold. You know those houses where the garage is neater than your kitchen? Yes, I will take your “old” appliances, kind, scrupulous, and incredibly conscientious Sir!
Turns out that the seller’s new house has a laundry room configuration that doesn’t allow for a top loader. I guess the cabinetry is too low.
So the Speed Queen, to his wife’s chagrin, had to go. It was well worth the $400 I happily handed over. It is in pristine condition and shows truly no evidence of ever having been used. I could not have been more grateful that their new house wouldn’t take the SQ.
I texted Rosie and Suki (both owners of SQs, though Rosie’s is in storage, as her rental in Fort Worth has the same dumb laundry room situation). They were so happy for me! (Deirdre was too — we rejoiced in person. Bridget and I talked it all over by phone. The boys take it as read.)
My clothes are noticeably cleaner. I’m telling you — you have to have water and strong agitation to get the job done!
I had slowly been boiled in (a very small amount of) water and had forgotten this over the years, becoming inured to yellowing, staining, and general dreariness.
It’s also really fast. Truly a Speed Queen!
I am hoping for all our sakes that now that these oppressive, ruthless, and counterproductive regulations have met the chopping block, things will get better for everyone. Keep your flashing lights and motherboards and connectivity! Give me clean clothes!
bits & pieces
- EPPC report: Study reveals abortion pill harms. Just so you know exactly how the abortion pill is not “just like Tylenol”! As I said to Phil this week on our podcast, I think the harms are probably even greater, because women have a capacity to suffer and not say anything about it. Not always a good thing to be sure.
- Excellent review of a book about Pierre Manent, Catholic political philosopher, by our friend, the erudite Dan Mahoney, himself the author of many insightful books.
- At The School for Housewives we are talking a bit (in short posts and on the subscribers’ chat) about finding one’s colors. You can see the original, fairly life-changing book about this subject by Carole Jackson, called Color Me Beautiful, here on this site (you have to register, fairly painless).
from the archives
liturgical living
Feast of the Apostles Philip and James
follow us everywhere!
Here is all the info:
Visit me at The School for Housewives and recommend it to your young friends!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts.
There you will find the weekly podcast done by Phil and me, called On the Home Front. Do let us know what you think!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
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Hurray! I am so delighted for you that you have a new-to-you washing machine! Thank you for sharing the journey, and please do not go to any FBMP places alone–we need you, Auntie Leila! My favorite quote from your story is this one: “You know those houses where the garage is neater than your kitchen? Yes, I will take your “old” appliances, kind, scrupulous, and incredibly conscientious Sir!” 🙂 Also, the communication with your darling daughters about the importance of a good washer–Oh, I nearly showered my computer screen with tea! May God bless you!
Thanks, Donna!! I don’t go to meet-ups alone (not usually) — this was a store!! Oh my, if you had been there you would have had a heart attack… LOL — when he pushed open this big steel door to be like “they’re in here… ” I was like “hopefully they find my body”
Oh, NO! You are right–I would have had a heart attack! So glad you are safe! Praise be to God and your Guardian Angel!
I give my guardian angel a LOT of credit… all the time LOL
Hilarious post, hilarious comment.
Good for you!! I have the same model, bought new! I love it!! And I don’t normally live inanimate objects.
Congratulations on keeping up the good hunt.
I completely understand! Love my Speed Queen!
Hurray! I am so delighted that you have a new-to-you washing machine! My favorite quote you wrote was: “You know those houses where the garage is neater than your kitchen? Yes, I will take your “old” appliances, kind, scrupulous, and incredibly conscientious Sir!” Truly an inspired thought 🙂 Please do not go to a FBMP location alone, though….We need you, Auntie Leila! I love your Darling Daughters and their notes back and forth–I nearly showered my computer with tea when I read Philip’s responses about Rosie’s SQ– Thank you for sharing and may God bless you all~
I am so sorry for the duplicate message–it did not post for me, at first~
I have a new-ish washer too. Every load of darks came out with stuff that appeared to be lint/detergent residue…or something. 😡 I got so tired of it! I tried 2 rinsed, to no avail. (It does seem to disappear in the dryer, but I like to line-dry my clothes.)
Now I wash nearly everything on the “bulky sheets” cycle and use only hot water. Because, after testing the water, I figured out that even the hot cycle is lukewarm, at best. What the heck? If I want actual hot water, I have to boil some and put it in. Which is slightly inconvenient since the washer is in the garage, on the basement level. But…..pardon my rant . I’m happy for you. And now I might have to check out Craigslist. 🙂
Oh! That’s another thing!! The new ones DON’T START WITH HOT WATER!! (I did a lot of reading about all this.)
They START with cold water no matter what. Then they do their computer thing for a bit (the pauses, the starts, the stops) and only THEN do they fill with hot or warm water.
If you want to know how our overlords have oppressed us.
Maddening!!!
Ann Marie, I have a very old washer so what I do may not be useful to you. But I have sometimes noticed an excess of lint in my dark loads too, especially when washing flannel or fleece clothing. One thing that helps me with that problem is to do only a gentle spin instead of the full blown one. You can try if it makes any difference to you. I also use a gentle cycle when I have a lint-prone load, but new washers are already so daintily agitating that you may not need to try a delicate cycle on top of a delicate spin.
Oh this is the best post lol made me laugh! So happy for you!!
As I read about your Speed Queen, and other’s agreement, I am so dissatisfied with my fancy front loader. I just want my white sheets white again! We could not have a top loader here without tearing apart the laundry room. So—maybe I need to learn how to hand wash the sheets…any tips?
Oh my, no, I have no tips. Field trip to a friend-with-a-SQ??
Re: the garages neater than your kitchen… My husband bought his used car from a scrupulous engineer. He had a spreadsheet detailing every piece of maintenance the car had ever received, along with marked pages in the manual with particular quirks and issues. When he said, “I’ve never hit a pothole in this car,” we believed him! I’d rather buy from people like that than a dealership any day.
The utter simplicity of your speed queen’s layout… a thing of beauty, it is.
This makes me happy and also makes me feel like I did a great service to myself and any future inhabitant of my house when I did a small-scale laundry room remodel a few years ago- the shelves are all specifically placed to allow for a top-loader!
Okay, so one thing that is funny is that “Eco Normal” cycle there — if you look at the manual (which of course the seller included), it describes what that cycle does in language that clearly conveys the sentiment “listen, don’t use this — we had to put this in to keep the regulators happy but seriously, it’s not going to work for you”!!
“See that road over there? Well, don’t take it, it’ll do you no good!”
That’s what the appliance installer told me when we got our SQ set three years ago. “don’t bother with the Eco mode, it’s just there for regulations.” So ridiculous.
We bought a speed queen a couple of years ago and the man also said “don’t use the eco cycle!”
You’ll pry my SQ out of my cold, dead hands.
We love our SQ! Highly recommend them. Also super easy to fix if something does break. Our son tried to wash about 3 loads worth of clothes in 1 load so it pulled something, never did figure out what piece of clothing it was, through the pump, it was so simple to replace and start washing again! Also a fan of the lid not locking so I can throw a sock in after the load started when I realize it got missed.
Congrats on finding a Speed Queen!
If anyone else finds themselves stuck with a newer Whirlpool washer, the way to bypass the silly spray rinse setting is to use the “rinse with softener” setting. (No need to actually use softener, of course!)
That’s a good tip!
I’m SO happy for you!
I relented. Gave in. Yes, I confess I purchased one of those “other” washers. I wanted a SQ so bad, but just couldn’t see spending that much. Now, after less than 1 year, I’m ready to throw in the dirty towel. I’ll take the loss of this junky purchase. Now I’ve regained my sanity and will begin looking for a real machine. A SQ!
My question: Will a NEW SQ be as reliable as the ones before 1917? And is there anything I should specifically look for or avoid? I will buy new if I have to.
I meant 2017. Sorry.
LOL I was so focused on the “new” question that I didn’t notice the throwback to the last century part!
Here’s the thing. I really cannot afford a new one so I didn’t do a deep dive. But I think the new ones actually do have more “eco” stuff and most of all, do have some sort of electronic situation. And that is a HARD NO from me.
I honestly think that even if someone had handed me $1300 (plus 8.25% MA sales tax) I would STILL have gotten the 2017 one. Depending on the price and if it’s a commercial-grade one, I would go older. Obviously I would want it to be in good condition, clean, and so on. But I really, really do not want any sort of computer in my appliances!!
I have a 2019 SQ and, from what the salesman told me, I think they still skirted the “eco” stuff. He told me my water usage would be the same in my 2019 SQ as my 2008 GE. Because I wanted the washer to actually use WATER this was music to my ears! Fingers crossed they are still managing to dodge the regulations!
Yay! Congratulations on the new washer! But what kind of laundry room can’t accommodate a top-loading washer machine?! That’s ridiculous! We are currently househunting and one of my requirements is that the laundry room be right by the kitchen so my extremely absent-minded self will actually hear the buzzer and remember to switch the clothes into the dryer. But now I will have to make sure I check that the room can accommodate a top loader. Or at least will have shelving I can dismantle to make one fit. (I love my washer)
Also-I’ve been listening to the podcast and reading the substack-I LOVE Color Me Beautiful!!! I’m a Millenial but found that book over 15 years ago and it’s been SO helpful!! I’m a Winter BTW 😁
I think the shelves were built too low! Whatever! REMOVE THEM!!!
I’m glad you are enjoying the content, and yes, 100% CMB. It’s life-changing and not just for fasion and makeup!
I’m glad you did not buy one with a removable agitator. I have one, it’s a piece of junk! The agitator is flimsy and doesn’t even agitate the clothes, just pushes them around a little bit. Beyond irritating.
And enough of this “everything should be washed in cold water” nonsense. Yeah, right! What a crock.
Oh well, that consoles me, though I’m sorry for you!
This is one of my favorite LMLD posts of all time! Died laughing. Read to my husband. He even cracked a smile.
We are currently on the last legs of a front load washer (from the previous owner) absolutely rife with mold between the barrel and casing. Our laundry room only affords room for a stack. But in the midst of a midday nap yesterday I woke with a bolt recalling our first apartment which had a stacked W-D with a top load washer on the bottom. This gave me hope.
Have you done any research into these stacked but nonetheless top load washer units? Any recommendations or things to be wary of in our search?