I'm sure you're as busy as I am, so we'll make this quick!
This is the second mitten… if you are keeping track from last week. That's thrumming by the way — extra warm!
I have nary a decoration up. We did get a tree so as not to miss out, but it's still in the back of the truck as of this writing. I too am rounding up last-minute gifts, and thought you might be interested in a few I like — see below.
But first:
Auntie Corner
Things have gotten weird: it seems like the idea is out there that we should avoid ever getting sick — that somehow, catching a virus, AKA common cold or flu, is a gigantic failure of hygiene and amounts to an assault on other people. It's like getting the black badge of bad citizenship and people are out there already wearing masks and acting like they are going to die if you come near them.
Some of us lived through the Spanish Flu and the Asian Flu and Swine Flu and all sorts of epidemics [sic] that got no name attached to them. I am fond of recalling a year when the flu caused fully a third of my son's middle school population to check out.
Did they close things down? No, of course not. Why do I say fond? Because first, this memory is a good bulwark against panic-inducing rhetoric and second, it happened to be the kind of flu where everyone was just a bit feverish and sort of lay there, needing not more than occasional ginger ales, light meals, and stories read to them on the rare occasions they were awake.
It was three weeks of quiet, by the time everyone got it and recovered. It was okay. We made it. I recommend having a good supply of sofas!
It's not good for immune systems for people to cower. The best defense against sickness is to fortify yourself and your family with healthy food, sleep, and robust exercise, outdoors if possible. Anxiety makes things much worse — self-inflicted anxiety is awful and hard to recover from.
Sickness is a normal part of life — you won't be able to avoid it, chances are! Know what to do. Be confident and prepared in the usual way that parents always have been. Stay out of the hospital if at all possible, because sick people can get very much more sick there. Did you know that medical care might be (I mean who can trust statistics) the third leading cause of death in the US, according to Johns Hopkins?
Sadly, there are a lot of people bringing their children to the hospital needlessly, because our health care system is in a shambles, as are our families. The best place for a non-acute illness is at home. (Note the word non-acute and learn what acute means — Auntie Leila is not responsible for a lack of common sense!)
Here is my guide to taking common-sense care of a sick person — make sure to read the comments too!
Remember: many good things happen when someone gets a cold or flu. Children have time to read books they might not otherwise have picked up. Mother — if she is not beholden to outside commitments — has the opportunity to show a special kind of love and care. The schedule is suspended, and it's sometimes a relief; at least we find out that busyness is not all there is to life.
Basically, just know that people have always, do, and will always get sick sometimes! It's a normal part of life. Yes, even if some people are vulnerable. It's still how life goes.
Gift Corner
Some gifts that might help with your list! Amazon links are affiliate links as noted — a small amount comes to me at no cost to you! Thank you! Other links are not affiliate ones. Everything is something we like and enjoy.
I love these cards, handmade by Lydia, our friend who makes the lovely Advent calendars I link to every year. I think the little tags will make a lovely garland decoration, don't you?
I love these little handmade “Pips” dolls and the price seems really good to me.
This is now one of my husband's favorite sweaters.(affiliate link)
Bridget enjoys these embroidery kits so much, and even gave me one, which I am still working on!
Some young ‘uns need their own tool kit, with real tools. (affiliate link)
Kids enjoy this rocker board and it has scope for imaginative play as well. (affiliate link)
I hope this helps! Do leave your best gift ideas in the comments, and if you are so minded, you can use one of my affiliate links to open an Amazon page to purchase.
bits & pieces
- The power of touch. I remember reading this story (it's from 1995) and being struck by how technology can replace important human contact, especially with babies and children and indeed anyone fragile.
- The Historian and Vocation with Dr. Christopher J. Lane. Parents are often burdened with anxiety over their child's future, and a young person can become overwhelmed by the idea of discernment. Historian Christopher Lane offers a good perspective on the topic in this podcast, one which will be calming, I think.
- If you are in the greater Boston area, join us in attending the St. John's Seminary Chapel for Advent Lessons & Carols! (It's tonight as well, at 7). Come over and say hi!
from the archives
- A past gift guide of mine that might be of use — I'm not sure how the links are working, but hopefully you'll get some ideas!
- An article I wrote about how Advent can help us live Order and Wonder in the home!
liturgical living
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My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
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Mrs. Badger says
Bless you for this refreshing perspective!
“The schedule is suspended, and it’s sometimes a relief; at least we find out that busyness is not all there is to life.”
I don’t tend to get sick a lot, but I remember distinctly getting sick about once a semester in college, right when I had started to feel like I couldn’t take it anymore (my husband and I went to a very academically rigorous school). And that week or so of being forced to take a break was always exactly what I needed to push through and finish the semester without losing my sanity. My mom would sometimes say that a vague little virus like that, the kind where you are utterly exhausted but not otherwise suffering much or in pain, is more than anything your body’s way of saying SLOW DOWN. I remember always being slightly relieved to have an excuse to skip a week of my commitments.
Emily D. says
I say this ALL THE TIME. When I get sick it’s my body’s way of saying, “Time out!” (Not all the time, but with those “vague little viruses”–LOVE that phrase, stealing it)
Leila says
Yes! This goes double for children. Sometimes they even run a fever the day after a highly busy day.
And guess what, nothing terrible will happen if they lose some time at school, or take time out of the homeschool routine to rest on the sofa or in bed with puzzles, books, or just closing their eyes if that is all they can do.
Rebecca says
This post came at just the perfect time! My three children (all under the age of five) seem to pick up a new virus every couple of weeks and I was just lamenting to my husband, “Am I doing something wrong that our children keep getting sick?” Thank you for the reminder that it IS worth it to bundle everyone up for some outside time, even when it does seem much easier to stay in!
Leila says
Sometimes it does seem that way, and then it’s good to be sure they are getting enough sleep and good food. Don’t forget the elderberry cordial! https://likemotherlikedaughter.org/2019/01/elderberry-cordial-bits-pieces-173/
Dixie says
This is a good reminder not to feel sheepish about cancelling things due to sickness. That’s just life.
Each year I get a little better at managing sickness; it used to really throw me for a loop, but that’s less and less the case. The “caring for your sick child” post is one of the best you’ve written, Leila — thanks for re-upping it! I think about your advice every time we are sick.
Leila says
It is just life!
Knowing what to do is a game-changer.
AB says
Thank you for the gift ideas! I am looking for “Sunday hats” for my three girls ages 5, 8, and 10. Any ideas on where to buy?
On the subject of buying things, has anyone found a “things I used to buy at Target” guide? I’ve avoided Target this far but I am stuck on a few items, unsure where to buy decent quality twin cotton duvet cover, women’s underwear, kids’ shoes that allow natural foot movement yet have some foot cushioning… Target has a great floral twin cotton duvet cover that’s about a third of the price of anywhere else I can find. Would love another idea.
Leila says
I have good luck with bedding at Marshall’s, Homegoods, and TJMaxx.
I have also ordered such things on Amazon.
If you see something you like online (e.g. a Sunday hat!), and are on your computer, try right clicking the image and choosing “search images with Google”. You will likely come up with different options for purchasing, including ebay and etsy!
Leila says
I also want to say that if you really need something at Target, you can get it. The main thing, I believe, is to avoid shopping there where there are alternatives, and to avoid the sort of Target “high” that people talk about — escaping there, impulse buying there, making it their home away from home.
Ellen says
We like ikea for duvet covers and linens. I buy my undies at Pact Organic when they have sales. And we look for shoes on ebay in the expensive brands we like: Plae, Xero shoes, even Target’s own Cat& Jack brand but if we buy second hand we don’t have to support Target. Also Costco if you have access to that for shoes and clothing
Nicole Cox says
I have had really good luck getting barefoot-friendly shoes on Poshmark and Amazon and Walmart even! For toddler sizes Walmart has what they call “adaptive” shoes and their wide toe box, totally flexible and $18! They will get completely beat up by the kids but for one season it’s worth it. My older kids get a really comfortable barefoot sneaker on Amazon that’s about $27 (it’s mesh so it’s not great once temps go below 50, but then we switch to boots anyway). Once you have a brand and know your size in it, check Poshmark too!
I have also gotten high quality bedding at Marshall’s or TJ Maxx.
I find it’s the “little things “ I struggle to find, like hair accessories, small household gadgets, diapers, etc. For that stuff we try Walmart first (we don’t have Prime so Walmart delivery ends up being way faster!), and Amazon second.
Laura says
With respect to gift ideas, I was very pleased with myself when I discovered these micro icons: https://legacyicons.com/icon-collections/micro-icons/
I ended up buying them for absolutely everyone for Christmas. The price is right and I love that you can get images from the Hagia Sophia. My favorite one is the Christ Pantocrator (Sinai). For some reason it’s currently only available in the 5 pack.
I also like to suggest these wooden animals when I’m asked about gifts for my small children: https://woodencaterpillar.com/traditional-wooden-toys/toy-animals-and-creatures/
They’re heirloom quality and prettier than the pictures – you can see the wood grain through the paint – but they are also great for all budgets.
Leila says
Thank you for sharing these ideas!
I also love Schleich animals — children can take them in the bath and toddlers love carrying the smaller ones around. Here is an affiliate link, but they also have them at the Tractor Supply Company: https://amzn.to/3RiDF0f
Elizabeth says
My gift ideas:
Kingdomino– fun board game; easy enough for a 6 year old to learn, but has enough strategy that it is competitive for adults. Short game play too, about 15-20 min.
I haven’t tried it, but the Chatbooks subscription seems like a fun idea. You get to send in your pictures for a small photobook every month.
Breathable nursing shawl: https://www.quince.com/women/lightweight-cotton-cashmere-nursing-shawl
This is pretty and nice to help an easily distracted baby stay focused on nursing.
The whole Quince site has some nice options too–differently luxury or name-brand type items at a more affordable price point.
If I think of more, I will add them.