Little by little, the house is getting decorated. We will put up the tree tomorrow (the big tree, not this little tree that is in my mother-in-law's silver musical stand that rotates!), and I will not see you here until after New Year's, most likely!
A real-life friend on Twitter asked to see my tree, and I blithely responded that it's not up yet but there are pictures on the blog. I then went looking myself, and realized that I never have any before Christmas, but here is one from a couple of years ago that shows what it usually looks like! Our tree is very personal, with decorations made, given, and found over the years, interspersed with unifying red and gold ones.
I haven't even gotten to hanging the stockings… but I do feel the spirit of Christmas coming in, as we enter the time of the O Antiphons (which also means it's Suki's birthday today!). (Last week's post has resources for O Antiphons for you and the children — scroll down.)
Still furiously (yet sluggishly, as wading through molasses) crafting…
bits & pieces
- In the long process of rethinking the kitchen, I've been mulling, here on a couple of posts, on some of Christopher Alexander's patterns (from his book A Pattern Language, and the posts are tagged as such if you want to take a look). Taking a break due to holiday busyness (mine and, apparently, the contractor's!) from that obsession (and enjoying the change that removing the Pile of Bricks has offered).
But Alexander's observations came to mind again when I saw this amazing series of short videos, by an architect, about a Godshuis De Muelenaere in Bruges, Belgium, a garden courtyard formed by 24 small houses, built in 1613 for elderly women in need. Built and endowed by the Muelenaere Family as a charitable work; all they requested in return was prayers for their souls. (I will simply discuss a little about the architecture, but of course there is another side — good works offered by wealthy people that really helped the poor, were truly works of mercy, enduring to this day as an example and, perhaps, an examination of conscience for the well to do.)
Remember, Alexander is observing what has worked in the past. He is offering his insights, to be sure, but his objective is to analyze what has worked and what gives delight. The hope is that we can recover the patterns for ourselves, and stop making such grievous mistakes with our environment, which has become “antiestetico” (an Italian word brought back by Suki from her studies, that can be translated as “unsightly” but, it seems to me, means so much more; perhaps it means something that stands athwart beauty in a way that drains life of charm and that indefinable connection with the harmony of a higher sphere).
All I know is that the Godshuis is “estetico” and I would live there in a heartbeat, and assisted living is “antiestetico” and please just put me in a shed in the backyard — if there's a wood stove, a composting toilet, and little sink I'll be better off. I won't have a short walk to the shops and a little courtyard, but then, I'm not as poor as the widow women the houses were built for! In the Kingdom of Heaven the last shall be first!
Watch these short films (first one here) and listen to Thomas Dougherty's excellent commentary; think about assisted living facilities you've been to (or even, never mind the elderly, apartment buildings in which children are expected to dwell, but then, we find few children there). Here are just two patterns I pulled out quickly that relate to the subject:
“Pattern 102: Family of Entrances: Lay out the entrances to form a family. This means: 1. They form a group, are visible together, and each is visible from all the others. 2. They are all broadly similar… make a transition in between the public street and the inside…”
“Pattern 112: Entrance Transition: … whatever kind of building or building complex you are making… the entrances create a transition between the “outside” — the public world — and some less public inner world… the gardens help to intensify the beauty of the transition… a graceful transition… [is] more tranquil than [opening] directly off the street… The experience of entering… influences the way you feel inside the building [complex].”
(If the videos are not appearing in your email, click through to the blog online and you will see them embedded here.)
- Very often truisms bandied about are … not true. Take Galileo. You think you know about the case, and certainly kids in school are taught the line. But is it true?
- All our booklists on the Library Project feature Robert Louis Stevenson! Tony Esolen talks about Treasure Island and offers a poem on his substack: Christmas at Sea.
- The New York Times has an article about teens who want to ditch their phones. In some ways it is hopeful; in some ways it is actually frightening (the ways that the adults, including the “reporter,” react). I am convinced that people don't understand the real dangers of certain apps (I notice the article mentions Instagram, which is medium dangerous, and not TikTok, which is very dangerous — I wonder why). Perhaps I will do a podcast about this article and what the danger really is. Suffice it to say for now, you have no idea what TikTok is doing to your children. Be the parent who protects them from these apps and from devices in general. It's incredible to me that the adults involved are anxious that the young people want to give up their phones.
- Speaking of dangers, “water beads” swell inside when swallowed. They will likely not just pass through. Keep these things away from children!
from the archives
- If you perhaps are Feeling the Pressure, think about relieving The Day from All the Celebrations and transferring some to other Days of Christmas. Some interpret celebrating The Twelve Days of Christmas as giving gifts on each day, but that would be madness.
Instead, think of making one of the days A Bring-Your-Own-Mug-Family-Cocoa Party; one of them could be a long-planned family outing like ice-skating, skiing, taking a long family hike or walk around a city pond, a visit to the museum on a free day (most museums have one!); one could be family restaurant night — a nice break for mom, and for families living on one income, a rare treat indeed! And so on.
- Write it out beforehand. I go into detail in this post. We're always saying we want to take the focus off of things and put it on family time and togetherness. The Twelve Days of Christmas are the perfect opportunity, with most events already built in. Don't kill yourself with more gifts (or leave the opening of a box from the grandparents for one of the Days)!
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Laura Jeanne says
Leila, your home is gorgeous. It’s huge and an amazing backdrop, but you’ve done such a wonderful job of decorating! Truly inspiring.
Leila says
Thank you! It is big, that’s for sure! I’m glad you like it!
Emily says
We did the cocoa party a few years ago and it was fabulous! Highly recommend!
Eva Marie says
Love it! Teens don’t need apps. Period. My three boys (16, 14, 12) share an old cell phone for when they go out without us. It does not go to school. The only apps are a game we all play as a family, and our church’s gospel library app (scriptures). They’re fine, healthy, well -adjusted teens with friends and easily recognize the value of not having social media garbage in their lives.
And Dad and I model. Aside from one family Facebook account ( required by a former church volunteer administrative position ) we have zero social media accounts.
I was an early adopter of Facebook and Instagram, and it was not good or healthy for me at all. Our family functions much better without it.
Donna L. says
Thank you, Eva Marie~
I appreciate your idea and applaud your choice of word: “garbage” to describe much of what is out there–may we loosen the bonds of society! God bless you all!
Katie says
Thank you for the Galileo article! We are studying Italy and have a picture book from the library about him, and I needed to remember to research what really happened so I could explain to the girls when we got to it.
We do 12 days of Christmas as you describe every year and we love it! Need to plan it out for this year yet, but one day will be puzzle day (we are getting puzzles as a gift from my sister) and one is movie day (The Railway Children! We read the book this fall at your recommendation). So, definitely low key. New Years Day is always “breakfast for dinner” and we have “party waffles”- waffles with whipped cream, sprinkles, and a drizzle of chocolate syrup.
Kimberlee says
Thanks for linking to that old post. Oh how you must miss your dear mother! You were all so very blessed to have her.
Leila says
I do miss her! Thank you.
Mrs T says
I marvel at your Christmas village on the floor. I’m currently in the somewhat panicky “keep everything out of the baby’s reach!” phase and didn’t realize there was such a thing, haha!
Love the idea of a garden courtyard for elderly women in need. What a beautiful and charitable idea. There needs to be more of this sort of thing, church and community involvement in taking care of the less fortunate and next to zero involvement from any government establishment.
And I agree with another poster, your home is so lovely. Cozy, inviting and “lived in “. Not stark and sterile like magazines. The type of home I wouldn’t be nervous bringing my brood over and they would be charmed by every turn!
Just love you, Auntie Leila. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Leila says
Oh, thank you!
Merry Christmas!
Leila says
Also, re: village on the floor — those are cheap little porcelain buildings and they are quite the hodgepodge! I don’t think they are very easy to break — certainly grandkids have been toddling around with them for years — and if one does break, no big deal!
Leah says
My husband and I have struggled over the years to find traditions that encourage the observance of Advent, then the Christian celebration of Christmas. How messy and complicated things become! This year I read through a few of your Advent posts and took courage.
This year we set up our (small, toddler-friendly) tree but I decided to leave off the ornaments until Christmas starts. The other night, my 4 year old son said, “Mama, the tree isn’t very nice. It needs ornaments.”
I got to tell him, “Yes, you’re right. And Advent is a time to remember that this life is like the tree – isn’t always nice. It’s not quite right because of sin. But when Jesus returns, he will make all things right. So when you see our tree and wish for ornaments, remember that we are waiting for Jesus.”
He understood! And I thanked God for working in the small traditions and feeble efforts to teach our children. Thank you for your encouragements and ideas here.
Dixie says
Leah, we do purple (and some pink) decorations for Advent. We hang simple purple ribbons where we will later put our Christmas garlands/banners, for example, and use a wipeable purple tablecloth, too. I find that decorating for Advent helps hold the place for the Christmas to come.
Also, I think the anticipation of Advent is heightened if you really try to celebrate the Twelve Days of Christmas! Auntie Leila has a great post on this. And you can also check out this by yours truly, if I may: https://www.wallflowerjournal.com/lifestyle/5-ways-to-celebrate-the-12-days-of-christmas
Dixie says
*anticipation that characterizes Advent
Leah says
Dixie, thanks for the recommendations for Advent decorations! So far, our only decoration was a barren lighted tree and an Advent wreath. I appreciate the help for next year! 🙂
I also appreciate your 12 Days blog post. Thanks for the ideas. On Day 2, and we’ve been enjoying it so far!
Now, how to make it to the 40 days of celebration – Feb 2, the Purification of Mary. As my husband says, “Why have 12 days of Christmas when you could have 40?” Ha!
Dixie says
I totally get the 40 days but…I get tired! Ha ha! We just take down the tree and cut down on the treats but leave our mantle decorations up and keep using our Christmas tablecloth and Christmas cloth napkins and lighting our white “Christ candle” at dinner…we just do the little itty bitty things like that until February 2. That seems to be enough, and then we are ready to turn towards February!
Donna L. says
Hello Leah~ I just wanted to say that I read this when you had posted, and pondered it as I looked at our tree, sans decorations. What a beautiful way to put it! How blessed we are to learn ideas from each other–thank you for sharing!
Leah says
Thank you Donna, and God bless you!
Paula says
Oh my goodness, we were in Bruges in 2000 and saw the godhouses! Such a great concept and totally agree such a wonderful idea. Would totally live in one! Hope one of my kids takes pity on me when I’m old and decrepit! Ugh to institutions!
Sue Wells says
Happy New Year to everyone!