My new podcast is up!
The Home Truths Good Cheer Society with Auntie Leila
In this episode I offer some criteria for choosing books (and by extension, movies) for children, and I'm not sure that the title gets across that I am talking about all children, including teenagers.
So often I will see people recommend books for a child who has enjoyed one thing or another, and those recommendations strike me as totally inappropriate. I try to articulate the reasons, although I could definitely say more, and probably will at some point!
I think I have some observations that you might not have thought about — at least, I have never seen them discussed; if you have, please point me to the resource, as I am eager to know more about these things. I talk about the three stages of a child's development: finding out about the existence of a world beyond his immediate needs, learning how to cope with the demands of that world, and finally, learning how to understand the interior world of spirit and emotions, leading to finding his own place in life.
I also discuss the importance of imagination and how to develop it.
Enjoy!
bits & pieces
- As a self-proclaimed “collective memory keeper,” my eye was caught by an essay in the January issue of First Things, “The Claims of Memory” by Wifred M. McClay. I highly recommend it — get your cup of tea and settle in for a vastly learned and insightfully humane long read.
- The catechetical knot — a fine little video produced by the Silverstream Abbey in Ireland — the monk here is the son of our friend Peter Kwasniewski. Check out their store; you can find the Curdie books there, among other little treasures, including beautiful greeting cards printed in their workshop.
- A short conversion account that I relate to quite closely: From Feminist to Traditionalist by Silica McMeans
from the archives
- As the seasons change, I find that I invariably get paralyzed by supper — and it's because I need to switch gears and get a new plan. I'm all about making dinner every day and liking it. The way is to make menus, and I will hold your hand. And yes, I find that I have to reboot this process every so often — as experienced as I am! Try it!
liturgical living
St. Gaucherius; We are heading into Holy Week and I may probably not see you in this spot until we emerge from the other side. A blessed Easter to you all!
follow us everywhere!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available now from Sophia Press! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My new podcast can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email. In the current situation, if we can’t meet here, it would be good for us to be connected by email!
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest (you can still get a lot of inspiration here! and say a prayer for her!). Bridget’s Pinterest.
Blayne R says
Auntie Leila,
Do you have any favorite movies of your own? I honestly can’t remember the last time I watched a really good movie. Nothing made in even the last ten years is worth my time it seems!
Really enjoying the podcast btw!
Leila says
I do! Here is my FB post with my ongoing list of my “ten” (more like a hundred) faves:https://www.facebook.com/leilamarielawler/posts/10204416053237959
Margaret says
Thank you for this helpful post! Love the treatment of Michael O’Brien’s very useful and instructive book. Acquiring and reading good books with my children is among the greatest joys of motherhood! I find your blog and books quite valuable. God’s blessing to you during Holy Week.
Anna Donnelly says
I’m at the piano intro–God bless you for starting with that beautiful, invigorating music! Thank you!
Vera says
I struggle with podcasts, so sorry I haven’t listened to yours yet! This is actually a comment on the gardening post from your archives- I figured I would comment here since you probably don’t read comments on old posts ? Anyways, we just bought a house with not one but TWELVE raised beds! The wood is all rotted and falling apart, but once you get past that aesthetic, you feel obligated to garden. I am also paralyzed by it! Besides the very practical objection you raised, I’ll add my individual quirk: water. I always forget to water and things die. I just can’t handle it! I know, it’s pathetic, a grown woman with 3 children! Send help?
Donna L. says
Hello~ I am not Auntie Leila–but I understand about watering–could you have one of your darling children do it for you? Or at least, remind you? Something that helped me….happy gardening!
Mrs. T says
Hello-not Auntie Leila here, by my 2 cents you didn’t ask for-
Start small. With one, MAYBE 2 beds, depending on their size. Pick two or three things to grow. Items that grow well in your area, I know for us tomatoes/peppers and cucumbers are always in abundance at the farmers market. They grow well here.
As far as watering during the dry days, I like to set up a sprinkler by the beds. The children run through it and my garden gets watered. Simple.
Amelia says
Deep mulch! With it, I almost never water, except for helping baby plants get going. The soil underneath grows richer each year it’s protected and enriched by the mulch. 95+% less weeding, too. I can’t imagine gardening another way.
Tamara says
Yes to deep mulch! My garden and I can’t live without it!
Sarah B. says
Watering Wednesdays! Once a week, turn the hose on drip and just leave it in each bed for a bit to flood it well, then move it to the next bed. Don’t worry too much about things dying – it just happens sometimes. But try lots of things and enjoy your successes! Try some thyme or sage or tough herbs – they’re not too fussy. I dearly love gardening and am grateful for lots of good food coming from our beds, but I also have plenty of failures every year too. Each year they’re different! I hear you on the watering though, I have to avoid pots and finicky plants because I forget too. A good soak periodically, and finding a way to make a peaceful ritual of checking on the garden goes a long way at our house. “I have to check the garden” when things get too noisy or contentious.
Leila says
Vera, don’t worry about the podcast. It’s my attempt to reach those who don’t want to read! You won’t miss much that isn’t already here, but maybe share it with a friend who isn’t a reader…
If you look closely at my garden pictures, you will see that some of my beds are not super old and some are pretty old. It’s fine. It’s a definition, a sort of organizing principle, to have outlines, however rotted.
I suggest reading up a bit on “no-dig” gardening and getting out there with newspaper if you have it or can get it at the recycling center. Cover each bed with a few layers of newspaper and then maybe some leaves from an old pile or compost (many communities have municipal compost piles — maybe yours does, or buy some in bags for this year while you get started).
You can buy seedlings (starts) from your local garden center. I suggest trying to find one that has grown them in its own greenhouse. The ones from the big box stores are not as good, as they have been subjected to a lot of harshness out there on the parking lot. If you do have to buy those, try to get ones that are in a more protected spot.
Just pop those into the compost after your last frost date. You can dig into the newspaper just enough to plant the seeds of things that are best planted that way (beans, squash, cucumber). Then surround with compost.
Water at first but then just let the plants find their way to the ground water. I think that watering IS the hardest, and there are good suggestions here in the comments. Another one that I am experimenting with this year, I hope, is wick-watering for the garden! My friend Lucy does this and I haven’t seen it anywhere else as applies to garden beds, so I don’t have a link, sorry. I plan to bury 5 gallon buckets at the top of each bed. A rope will go from the bucket to the bed, buried 6″ deep. The bucket is covered with its lid. You just have to fill the buckets occasionally, but she says that she uses way less water and the rope is deep enough so that weed seeds don’t germinate!
I have to get out there and get it going! (I’ve already planted a bed of lettuce so I’m on a course of sabotaging this plan already… )
Rebecca says
Here’s my gardening dilemma: We have a tilled garden patch within a chicken-wire-type fence to keep out said chickens. Do I just…plunk the nine-month-old down beside me to eat dirt? She is in that everything-goes-in-the-mouth phase…
I would love to get raised beds, but I worry! Do your chickens wreak havoc on your garden? How long does the wood last before it needs replaced? So many gardening questions! Maybe that should be the next topic for your podcast!
Ellen says
I put my baby in a stroller and take her out there. Usually i can time it to be around her nap time so i push her around til she falls asleep then get to work. I have a mosquito net and a rain cover that blocks wind for the stroller
Mckenna says
Rebecca,
We bought something similar to this for our last baby who was about 9 months at the start of last summer. Summer Pop ‘n Play Deluxe Ultimate Playard, Aqua Splash – Full Coverage Indoor/Outdoor Play Pen – Portable Playard with Fast, Easy and Compact Fold https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MTZ8EBE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_G3QQFR00EF0J3HFCJZDT
It worked well for gardening and camping. A regular old pack and play that you don’t mind getting a little dirty would work too. We had special outside toys we put in it for novelty.
Cirelo says
I say, let them eat dirt.
Rebekah says
I was about to say the same thing because I genuinely think babies need that kind of biofeedback, but I also sympathize with the need to focus on the garden work without baby wandering off or needing to stop and correct. I would do a mix, a little bit free time, some training time, then more gardening, or schedule it so baby falls asleep in the stroller and mom can THINK for a minute! Set a low goal, say 10-30 min a day. That’s how it did it with babies. Big projects when dad is home
Leila says
Really depends on the 9 mo! Some will placidly sit there on a blanket. Some are on the move. For some, an “airing” in the stroller is a good solution and keeps them from pulling up plants. For some, a little playpen is ideal. Some enjoy sitting in the dirt and won’t eat too much of it (a little is okay! builds immunity!).
Most 9 mos take two naps, and that’s a good time to get out there when you have to have an uninterrupted time.
The chickens do wreak havoc. I have them in there before I plant, and I have chicken wire right over the tender plants (like garlic and strawberries). I have the hoop/netting setup too for some beds and that seems to keep them away. Later in the season when things are established they can be let out for a couple of hours before they make their way into the garden, at which point I corral them by bringing out the compost bucket from the house and lure them back into their coop.
The wood of the raised beds? Some last longer than others, and I’m getting annoyed with having to replace it! Charles Dowding recommends not having raised beds and I might go that way just because the weeds have been greatly suppressed, making them less necessary, and I can’t afford the wood and the (husband) time to keep rebuilding them!
Laura says
Thank you for the great podcast. I’ve thought about that topic a lot, read your read this, not that posts and still sort of feel like I don’t get it. I’m doing my best! Do you think Kenneth Roberts would be appropriate for a nine year old boy in terms of content? Some of his books match up with things we’ve studied in history this year.
Ellen says
I read roberts in high school and was still shocked at some of the details related to war. Not gory, but definitely adult. That was “northwest passage”, “rabble in arms”, and lydia bailey”. All Excellent but definitely not for kids, in my opinion
Leila says
High school boys need these books.
Leila says
I think there are many other books for this age. Johnny Tremain is an example of the kind of book that is best for this stage, and our booklists will yield many others. The Landmark series of historical books is great and home libraries would benefit from a collection.
Roberts is good for early high school, in my opinion.
Valerie says
Thank you for your podcast.
I was struck by your observation regarding the power of indelible images in films.
My own experience: as a small child I was plagued with several recurrences of a memorable nightmare that seemed to bear no resemblance to anything in real life.
Sixty years later I watched a darling G-rated film from the early 1950s and suddenly realised, there were the images from my nightmare. Just a childish misunderstanding of what I had been viewing.
It was extraordinary to realise how I had processed it back then.
The other thing I recollect from my young childhood is being upset by moments of tension in movie plots, where the hero might be in peril. I had no concept of it being a narrative, to wait and see what happens next. (I hated The Wizard of Oz !)
Very much concur with your other thoughts, on reading material, too.
Thank you again.
Claire says
Yes—those weird images from films I watched as a child! And yes, children don’t realize there’s a narrative until a certain age-it’s more like watching a series of images I think.
A. says
Any chance of posting a transcript of the podcast for those of us who truly hate listening to podcasts. I like to think that those who hate being sent podcasts and video links by well-meaning friends are legion.
Laura P says
This made me laugh. I feel you! Nothing raises my hackles more than being sent video/audio.
I will say, though, to Auntie Leila: pretty much only for you do I listen to something!
Sunflower says
I must have read this at some point because I have a note to try to eliminate dragon books and movies.
Cultural Marxism alert – “The devil is portrayed as a dragon, so anything showing the dragon as a wise friend is leading us and our children astray..Dragonheart? etc. “
Leila says
Dragons must be kept in their place! Not eliminated, but not “normalized” either.
Jessica Steed says
I was thinking the other day how your recommendation to Ambleside Online has been priceless to me and our family. (Thank you, thank you!) Some of my most treasured memories are reading and delighting together in the books I’ve found on there. I tend to buy most of the books in the curriculum. So I was astonished during this podcast that I didn’t even recognize many of the books you mentioned! I came home and went straight to your book list blog entries and am going through the “1000 good book” list and again, am surprised at how few I’m familiar with. Looks like Thriftbooks is going to be getting some more big orders! While I’m at it, a question: how would you deal with reading to all your children at once, finding a story that appeals to all ages without going too far about maturity? I have a 12 yr old down to a 6 yr old. Also, I was longing for more specifics in the science fiction/fantasy realm, because I haven’t read them. I wonder if you’d answer specifically to –Percy Jackson? Fablehaven? Harry Potter?
Tamara says
I am also grateful for the recommendation to check out the Ambleside Online booklists. That set me on such a good track for our homeschool/family reading.
Cirelo says
I’d watch out for Percy Jackson, I got blindsided by homosexual characters in later volumes. It’s also pretty fractured fairy-tale esque which I never liked but didn’t feel was a strong enough leg to stand on. My back bone and intuition are getting stronger though!
Harry Potter: I let my older kids read too early and the sexual experimentation that occurs in Harry’s middle school years ended up being a problem for my kids then in elementary grades. I feel bad for my lack of caution but that sometimes happens when you reflect on a book from an adult’s ability to deal with an issue. I read the books in college and the snogging that went unnoticed by me at that point, but was a problem for a young child.
Jessica Steed says
Thank you for this! I didn’t know that about Percy Jackson. I haven’t read any of them. I, too, let my oldest child read all the Harry Potters when she was nine (I gasp at that now!) and I feel like that killed her love of slower, beautiful books like Little Women later, etc. Sigh!
Emily says
Really late to the party here but yes AVOID Percy Jackson and all its spin offs. I read them as an adult because I like the cleverness of the writing but then…..sigh. Nope. And they’re *very* popular.
Leila says
Check out my “read aloud” archives (http://likemotherlikedaughter.org/category/read-aloud/)
There are SO MANY books that older children enjoy and so do the younger ones.
As to fantasy etc, once you have educated yourself in the proper criteria (mainly by reading the old books), you can judge the new ones. You must read them, though. I would not hand a new fantasy/science fiction book, unread, to a child. For the reasons I mention in the podcast: probably the vast majority carry agendas and subtexts that are sexual, transhumanish, political, gender ideological, etc.
Harry Potter is a series that has become a cultural trope, to the point that one probably shouldn’t arrive at adulthood without being familiar with it. Basically, there’s a conversation out there that one will not understand without being familiar with the books. But I would delay it as long as possible (especially the later books) and I didn’t let my kids read the books before being steeped in the old works.
Jessica Steed says
Thank you, Auntie! I’ll definitely check out the read aloud archives. Thank you! We’ve read a ton of great books, but your podcast helped me see that my youngest child really shouldn’t get robbed of the nursery rhymes and folk stories, in my haste to get to the books that I (and the older kids) enjoy more. At a young six, he still very much loves The Three Little Pigs, etc, and I now see the importance of reading these to him too.
Btw, I just want to also echo what I read here once. You said (more or less) that reading these wonderful books will teach a child the proper way of thinking of things, and how to act, and ALSO, how the mother should act. I’ve learned more about parenting from Ma Ingalls and E Nesbit books than anywhere else, besides your blog. I’m so thankful for you and all your efforts to pass on great wisdom!!!
Claire says
I’m so interested in this question of the right stage of development to encounter different things and hope you post more about it over time. I have worked with 3-6 year olds in the atrium as a CGS catechist and the only time I’ve heard a little discussion of this early stage is in a Montessori context, with the idea (I think found in The Absorbent Mind) of not introducing fantasy until six.
Barbora G says
This really got me thinking. The English language explodes with treasures -greetings from [Old] England! However, I speak in my Slovak mother-tongue to my boys. It’s a long story about how it’s hard to find literature from my heritage that I know so little about, but this lead to my parents ordering us a whole pile of Slovak children’s books for my boys; and to my delight, one of them happens to be the Three Little Pigs! I think we have about to week to decide whether to home-school our eldest or send him to the local, allegedly outstanding Catholic school, but one thing is for sure: we will teach Slovak language, history and culture at home.
Ann says
The Navis Pictures films (SAINT BERNADETTE OF LOURDES and THE WAR OF THE VENDEE) are excellent and wholly Catholic films “with children, for children” – both available on Formed.org:
https://watch.formed.org/the-war-of-the-vendee/videos/the-war-of-the-vendee
https://watch.formed.org/movie-night/videos/st-bernadette-of-lourdes-movie
You can also buy the DVDs at navispictures.com!