Of course we are still celebrating Christmas! Phil and I want to wish you all a blessed season of the celebration of the Nativity of the Lord. It always feels so awkward to me to post photos of us, and the light is terrible in these days of gloomy rain, but here we are and we truly do wish to greet you!
If you hadn't seen it, I wanted to say that The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is indeed in stock and ready to ship from Sophia Institute Press! (I am not sure about Amazon — eventually they will have it in stock, but the truth is that it's better for everyone if you order it from Sophia. That said, when the time comes, please leave a review on Amazon so others can find it!)
There were so many woes before this happened (the whole thing went to press in August if you can believe it)… but at Sophia they did their best, even paying for Priority shipping for those who ordered before Christmas to ensure you got your copies.
I have to say that I could not be more thrilled with the production of the books! The design is amazing — just exactly what I had hoped for when I had the idea of an old-fashioned three-volume set that could be given as a gift and treasured for years to come. I'm sort of a fraud in that the fact that I can get out there and just tell people what to do covers up for my lack of expertise in any area, but the books' high quality and the illustrations accompanying it (done by Deirdre!) hopefully make up for shortcomings on my part. You can always say to yourself, “Well, if she can do it, so can I!” and then my work here will be done!
As to New Year's resolutions, as always, I say “figure out what you're having for supper and do the laundry” is the best resolution. This year I want to add one more resolution that might help family life if you are not already putting it into practice.
I suggest that you and your spouse arrange things so that you spend time each evening together. Don't depart to different areas of your home. Be in the room together!
If you have young children, put them to bed and then have some relaxing time in the same room with each other. Even if you are catching up on emails or reading, do it together in the same room. If you have older children, have them bring their books in and enjoy quiet time with you until they go to bed.
As spouses, be open to being interrupted by each other. Resolve to be cheerful and even encouraging about hearing an interesting or funny passage from the book the other is reading, or un-annoyed by the passing along of something cute or thought-provoking the other has come across.
As the years go on, it's easy to fall into the habit of thinking the other doesn't want to hear a story that just occurred to you or be read a bit of poetry, the way you did when you were first getting to know each other. But when you're old, you'll have nothing to talk about if you don't bring up what you were thinking or what you overheard (or read)! And if you react with irritation at those things, or with an air of waiting for the interruption to be over so that you can get back to what you were doing, you're shutting off the interactions that make life together possible and indeed a joy. Certainly if you head for different rooms when you're still young, you won't be comfortable being together when you're older… and have no children to fill the house with noise any more!
So let's work on being together most evenings at least for a time, with easy, companionable silence and open sharing of thoughts too!
At least, that's my idea. Make of it what you will!
Next week I will have the usual links for you and a giveaway for the Summa!
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Laura Hodak says
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you as well, Auntie Leila and family!
Just had to comment about your wonderful book; Sophia Press indeed did ship copies out promptly. Mine arrived on Christmas Eve Day, but I set it aside until the arrival of the 25th; I knew once I had cracked the spine on any of the volumes, I wouldn’t have the will to put it down and little prep would be accomplished.
The books are simply wonderful; I am in the midst of reading them straight through and am halfway through Volume 1. It is such a blessing to have these collections of wisdom at my elbow in my reading corner. I am getting the education I didn’t get growing up — and have only in the last 10 years realized how much I needed. And I plan on using much of them for “assigned reading” for my four daughters in our homeschool.
Thank you for this labor of love. It is indeed a treasure.
Laura H.
Leila says
Wow, Laura, you are both disciplined and voracious!
Thank you!
MamaB says
Happy New Year!! My copy of the Summa D (a birthday gift) arrived just a few days ago, and I can confirm that the production is really delightful! I especially just love Deidre’s illustrations—they give the whole thing a very appropriately homey feel. Bravo! I’ve been dipping in and out of them intermittently over the past couple days and have been feeling mostly just so ENCOURAGED by them! I didn’t want to open the 2nd volume (on education) right away, as we’re on break from homeschool and I just can’t quite face it right now. But a little peek into it and I was so encouraged by what I read—encouraged that what we’re doing is so valuable, and that it doesn’t have to be overly complicated. Just what I needed to hear!
Many many thanks, Auntie Leila, for sharing your wisdom with us! As a long-time reader of your blog, little of this is brand-new for me, yet the book format is just lovely!! Makes such a difference, and I think I’m appreciating and absorbing this wisdom in a more meaningful way.
Leila says
Thank you!
Alesha says
I excitedly preordered it on Amazon from here in Canada but it’s now unavailable. The shipping to Canada from Sophia Institute almost doubles the price- is there any other option for those of us in Canada?
Leila says
Alesha, it will be available eventually!
Rebecca says
I got my copy shortly after Christmas and am enjoying it thoroughly as I knew I would. I am familiar with much of it so far from the blog but it’s all been woven together so well it give it a coherence that blog posts can’t quite manage even with much linking back and forth. I am tempted to go review it now but feel that in honesty I aught to finish at least the first volume before I do, not to worry it shouldn’t take me long at this rate!
Thank you for all that you have given us Auntie, God bless and Merry Christmas, may you and yours have a wonderful year.
Marlene Gonzalez says
Your suggestions for evenings together are really helpful! My husband and I have been gravitating in the direction of together-time, away from always watching a movie or tv show in the evenings. Our families both always watched the tv instead of doing things together in the evening, so growing out of that habit has been difficult but incredibly worthwhile. I know our relationship has improved since we made a conscious effort to stop watching as much evening TV!
Oh and I got my copy of the Summa! I’m so excited. My MIL bought it for me as a birthday gift in November and it arrived shortly after Christmas. I flipped open to random pages in the various volumes just to “get a feel for it” before starting from the beginning, and almost instantly a sense of peace came over me. It was really calming knowing that I had common sensical wisdom in my hands—wisdom that counteracts all the negative secular influences that somehow or another always worm their way into the home and heart. So, thank you SO MUCH for writing these books. As a young wife and mother, I certainly need them! I’ve been following your advice from the blog for the last few years and it’s all helped our household so much. Having a physical copy of the Lawler family wisdom is so wonderful!
Teresa says
Well there is no doubt the Holy Spirit spoke directly through you to me on the advice about handling spousal interruptions. Thank you dear Auntie L. And thank you for the lovely new years greeting from you and Mr. L. I am grateful for the influence and the generous fraternal charity you both exhibit over and over in your online work. I thank God for you and ask His blessings for you and your family.
Leila says
Oh, good, Teresa… we all need a reminder, that’s for sure! Thank you!
Jaci says
Happy New Year!! I am so grateful for you. ❤❤❤ Peace.
Leila says
Thank you, Jaci! Love!
orthodoxmother says
The design is truly beautiful!
Leila says
Yes, I am so happy with it! I had a vision and it was achieved beyond my expectations!
orthodoxmother says
I’m sitting here trying to justify the purchase as “homeschool” because we have a little extra in the homeschool part of the budget right now. What do you think? Living books for a Home Economics Course?
MamaB says
Note that volume 2 is all about Education! And Volume 1, about Family Culture, is in my opinion all part and parcel of education/formation as well. (As Charlotte Mason says, education is a life.) And all the practical bits of housekeeping are to enable a more peaceful homeschool. I say, go for it!!
annadonnelly100 says
orthodoxmother–We are doing a class over the years of homeschool called “Homekeeping”. It includes practical preparation of a “hope chest”, with learning the skills to make and care for items for it. We have a variety of books so far, and some are books that I use, too. Most are not geared for children, per se. Summa Domestica is definitely part of the curricular canon for that class! I’m so excited about it.
Christina A says
I love the small, important things that you encourage us in! Your advice awhile back to make sure to say a proper goodbye when my husband leaves the house and give a warm welcome when he returns has been such a blessing in our relationship. I didn’t realize how much I had been taking him for granted, barely noticing his comings and goings when busy. It doesn’t take long to stop what I’m doing and give a tight squeeze and a little kiss and look him in the eyes and show interest about where he’s going or where he’s been, but it lets him know he is noticed, appreciated and respected. And I try to make a point to connect before I leave or when I return, too. 🙂
A somewhat lengthy article came across my path a couple years ago about those little “bids” that we make for each other’s attention, which also woke me up to how complacent I had become about really engaging with my husband, and also with my kids and friends. We know what it feels like to be ignored or quickly brushed off, but we don’t always realize that we’re doing the same thing. 🙂
Leila says
Thank you for this comment, Christina. You put it very well!
Anna says
If I pre-ordered on Amazon, will it eventually arrive? Getting nervous that I’ll miss it…
Leila says
Anna, you won’t miss it (Amazon will send you a notice asking if you still want it), but I just have no idea how long it will take. But I know Sophia has it now!
Anna says
I plan to talk to my husband about switching to Sophia. He does not like Amazon and might be more than willing to pay the difference.
Leila says
Anna, I think that when they get it in stock, the price difference will not be that great — amazon’s will go up. Especially if you catch a Sophia discount!
Katie says
I decided to cancel with Amazon. I preordered months ago. Anyway, I know it is truly best to order from Sophia, so all’s well that ends well. I just can’t wait to get my hands on it!!
Racioppa Lisa says
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year Leila,
I thought you and your husband looked awesome in the picture!!
I really like your comments about being in a room together with your spouse, even if you are doing different things. I find when my husband and I do that, we are more apt to share little things and comments with one another. The little things mean so much. God bless.
Leila says
Thanks, Lisa!
Nicole says
Great photo! 🙂
And great advice too. I am always astounded when I hear about how married friends do things separately and have no together time at all every evening. So strange to me, as this is the absolute best time of day for both my husband and I! I mean, that was what was so great about getting married– finally being able to spend every single evening together without having to part ways at the end. If you can stay awake long enough, reading good books together is also very life-giving!
Leila says
Thanks, Nicole!
Leigh Sabey says
Thank you for this marriage advice! I will take it just because it came from you!
Leila says
You won’t regret it, Leigh!
mjcanderson2 says
Happy New Year to the Lawler clan!
Congratulations on the books, they look perfect for daughters and daughters-in-law.
Wishing you both a blessed 2022!
Leila says
Thank you, Mary Jo!
kenhpics says
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all at the Lawler home! It’s always good to see you – in person, or by photo (dimly lit or otherwise)… wishing you all the best in 2022! May God bless you all!
And this was a great post!
Maria Alonso says
Merry Christmas, Leila! Thank you for all the wisdom you’ve shared over the years!
Leila says
Thank you!
Leila says
Thanks, Ken! always good to see you too!
Annie says
This is a good exhortation. Since my husband started his first Dr job out of residency, I’ve been discouraged that every day he brings home work which must be completed, and then the kitchen clean-up after bedtime… I’m feeling encouraged now to prioritize dinners I can clean up ahead of time and time together after bedtime, even if that means sitting in the same room working on separate things.
Leila says
Yes, Annie — that’s the spirit! The mother can do so much to make the evening time calmer, and even if there is some work to do, it can usually be done together. Those times when one of the two really does have to be elsewhere (at a meeting, in the workshop, up painting some room in a hurry) make the times together so much more precious! These years will go by quickly, but we have to make sure we are together for them.
Diana says
Happy New Year! Thank you so much for all you do!
Leila says
Thank you!
Victoria says
Such great marriage advice, as always. I attribute all your bits of marriage advice over the years to a lot of the happiness my husband and I enjoy now. Reading together at night after the kids are in bed is the best. He reads theology and church history and I read education books, novels, psychology books…all kinds of different books. And, right now your ‘Summa’ is in the rotation. I got mine on the 23rd of Dec. 🙂
I’m loving your first volume, it’s the same content, but very much refreshed and matured. Most sections I don’t feel like I’m reading the same content as your blog–and the few parts that do seem pretty much the same (from what I can remember) are still delightful to read again, and it’s really nice to have the book arranged in a developing, progressing arc. I’m gleaning reminders and renewed inspiration and I really appreciate your efforts, as well as the efforts of the team that contributed to this positively beautiful set!
Leila says
Oh, thank you, Victoria! You can’t imagine how nervous I am about long-time readers picking up the book! Your comments are a balm to my soul!
Megan says
I’m still waiting on my Amazon preorder. Amazon will honor the price from when you preordered even though they don’t charge your card until the item ships. I preordered in September when the price was $47.77, so I’m going to hold off a bit longer to see if they get it in stock eventually- it’s just so much more economical than the Sophia Press price! That being said I know how valuable this set of books are and I’m desperate to finally read them. So I’ll cancel and order through Sophia if they aren’t here in the next month or so.
Christina A says
I have a low-priced Amazon pre-order, but I’m thinking I might go ahead and order my own copy from Sophia and gift the Amazon copy to a bride this summer. Hopefully it arrives by then?
Christina A says
Amazon says they’ll deliver it before January 18th now! I did go ahead and order a copy through Sophia before Amazon updated, so now it’s a race to see which one arrives first. 🙂
Christina A says
The Sophia shipment arrived today! And the Amazon shipment status went *backwards* from “arriving January 15th-18th” to “we will email you when we have an estimated delivery date.” :/
Katie says
I’ve never read your blog before, but my mother saw this on Sophia Press website and sent it to me for Christmas. I’m 40 years old but I’m the throes of parenting very young children, so I often feel “behind” in many ways. I browsed through the volumes and am making my way through the first when I get the time and I have to say it’s like the book(s) I never knew I always needed. A true treasure that is proving very helpful to this busy mom who finds herself trying to unlearn everything our culture taught me about how to be a woman and mother, and looking for more wisdom that, until now, has been very hard to come by.
Leila says
Thank you, Katie! I am so happy!
Lynn says
I’m not sure why I got teary eyed when I started reading it, Auntie Leila; some combination of being proud of you and thankful for this beautiful work? I’ve been a reader of your blog for the past 10 years and I’m so happy this is in print.
Katie says
I just received these as a Christmas gift today! I’m so looking forward to reading them- just need to finish up one or two library books first.
I love your advice. When my husband was home every evening, we would play a game together or watch an episode of an old tv series together almost every night- I came to realize that much time together was unusual among our peers! Now he works 12 nights/month and we are still—after almost a year—trying to settle into a new routine and find a balance, but I think the good habits of the years before has really helped.
lisainmaine says
I just cancelled my order on Amazon and ordered on Sophia. I can’t wait. Next up, may I suggest a cookbook or bread how to?
Barbara Juneau says
Wish I,would have these many years ago in raising our children. Thank you for your generous offer as a giveaway.I will love reading them and then pass them on to my 5 daughters👵👵