The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
(This will all look and work better if you click on the actual post and do not remain on the main page.)
It's endlessly fascinating to me how different children are. Some can sit for hours playing with red lentils and funnels, and others just want to run.
By the way, here is my little child development tip for the day: children who are getting ready to toilet train often delve into this sort of tactile play. You will also find that they begin to show interest in lining up their toys — you may come upon nice rows of matchbox cars or dominoes laid out just so.
Certain folk tales help them with the toilet-training stage as well. Maybe someday I'll write a dissertation on the hidden meaning of The Three Little Pigs and its importance in the child's subconscious.
Think about it — the house is often a symbol for the body, and it takes great effort (represented by the three attempts to build an “un-blow-downable” house) to master the control necessary over the bowels.
Once you see it this way, every time you read the tale you will understand the appeal — not only the big bad wolf going down the “chimney” (narrow passage) into the “pot” (need I say more?!?) but even the necessity of each pig dying before the last one lives triumphantly in his new-found state of self-control. He doesn't mourn his “brothers” because the subconscious recognizes them as symbols of his past selves, the incompetent ones whose demise is welcome so that his new, better self can emerge with mastery.
Let this be a lesson to you in meddling with time-tested stories. We take for granted the skills we have used for years — we have simply forgotten how difficult it was to attain them. But we're robbing our children of valuable tools in the fight when we abandon the collective memory in favor of some bland doctrine of niceness that is utterly irrelevant to the situation.
Even the whimsical riffs on the Three Little Pigs might be amusing to adults, but they simply aren't satisfying to that three-year-old struggling with his baby self. Save them for the five-year-olds who know the original well!
Our three-year-olds need this traditional story read to them over and over (and it's simple enough that you can memorize it and just tell it as you are driving along or holding hands walking). Maybe it helps to see why! And break out the red lentils!
On to our links:
- Just invite friends over: Stop Making Hospitality Complicated! (It's so much fun when you have a book or something you are all reading in common, in addition to your normal reading. Making a St. Greg's Pocket helps to organize all that.)
- The Simony of Sacramental Preparation. With good intentions of getting everyone involved and excited about their faith and overtly demonstrating involvement and excitement, our directors of religious education are actually corrupting the sacraments — it needs to stop.
- Robert Royal on MacBeth — and be sure to show your high school students the video he links to, Ian McKellen on how the (good) actor acts by thinking deeply about the meaning embodied in the structure of the words of the play.
- Statues everywhere are coming down. Maybe some of them deserve to be removed. (I'm not sure that we are capable of replacing them with something equally artistic, but that's neither here nor there, I suppose.) But sometimes people are just in an iconoclastic mood, without stopping to wonder if what they are doing makes sense. The statue of Stephen Foster was removed in Pittsburgh, according to this AP story. Linked within is this thought-provoking little essay about the statue and what it really depicts. Our confidence that we are enlightened — and see things clearly, with no filters of bigotry — and previous generations were hopelessly backward, brings to mind this observation of C. S. Lewis about chronological snobbery:
Every age has its own outlook. It is especially good at seeing certain truths and especially liable to make certain mistakes. We all therefore need the books that will correct the characteristic mistakes of our own period…. None of us can fully escape this blindness, but we shall certainly increase it, and weaken our guard against it, if we read only modern books….The only palliative is to keep the clean sea breeze of the centuries blowing through our minds and this can only be done by reading old books. [Or, in the case of Foster, listening to old songs!]
The case of Alfie Evans does have importance on a wide scale, for our medical system has been almost completely taken over by utilitarianism, the approach that equates what is useful with what is good. (See C. S. Lewis' Abolition of Man for a philosophical response.) Here are some links to help understand what is going on and what is at stake:
- Alfie Versus the State, by David Warren — abortion and euthanasia have the same logic.
- Alfie is a Victim of Secular Leftism, by Stephen Herreid
- Alfie Evans: Liberty, Institutional Power and Family Life
- What is morally required for care of those at the end of life?
- Anthony Esolen on conscience and consent.
This dear little boy died in the night. May his memory be eternal.
From the archives:
Several beautiful saints for today! And it's still Easter!
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Gwenny says
Impeccable timing! Thanks for the potty training tips. This is my third time, but she’s more challenging than the other two. Definitely breaking out red lentils today!
Kate says
Why do people make potty training such a mystery? When my toddlers woke up dry in the morning, I knew they had enough control and were ready to be trained. I’m a slacker compared to my mother-in-law. She started putting her kids on the toilet when they were six months old (we have photographic evidence) and her kids were trained by their first birthday. She said there wasn’t much drama involved. Those women of the WWII generation had a heavy dose of common sense.
mrsnightskyre says
My seven-year-old is still not dry overnight. Control over the bladder while sleeping is a different (but related) skill from waking control. 😀 For the most part, I have waited until my kids showed interest in using the toilet, and then helped them get the practice they needed. It has looked a bit different with each kid.
priestswife @byzcathwife says
awesome links this week 🙂 my (Roman rite) Goddaughter will have her 1st Communion this week- after 2 years of formal (out of family) preparation… not sure how I feel about that. her family is an awesome- active- devout (homeschooling) family… does she really need 2 years of weekly classes ?
jadeddrifter says
No! She doesn’t! Our pastor told us about a family who had come to him seeking First Communion for their child. They had just moved and their new pastor wanted to make her (who was already 7!) go through a full two years of prep classes before he would admit her. Why couldn’t the girl just be interviewed for 20 minutes? That’s all it takes for a pastor to be sure a child at least understands that the Eucharist is not regular food and is, rather, the Body and Blood of Christ.
And I really enjoyed the Mattias Caro article. He is spot on. I’m a big proponent of restoring the order of the sacraments and I’m very encouraged to hear about several dioceses that have taken this step.
jadeddrifter says
I did early training with my first and it went great., but then I waited a little longer to start with my second and…that was two years ago…and it did not go great. But the funny thing is he loves the three little pigs story! In my version the wolf explodes, but I think I will send him to the pot next time. 😉
Becky G says
Yes! I am completely passionate about the wisdom of folk and fairy tales, though I readily admit that I do not always have the ability to comprehend their inner meaning completely. I just tell lots and lots of them to be sure we are getting whatever medicine they offer. I had never come upon this particular interpretation off The Three Little Pigs…is it your own, or had you encountered it somewhere before? I am always searching for resources to look into the depths of these stories! Thank you!
Leila says
Becky, I don’t remember reading this interpretation anywhere else. I think it’s my own! I owe a lot to Bruno Bettelheim’s The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales.
Becky G says
Thank you, I will check that out!
caitlinloiko says
Lots of great links this week! The potty-training, toy-lining, Three Little Pigs link is fascinating to me. My oldest displayed all of those interests at once, too. Now securely trained, he asks me to bring him “all the toys and my tiny little green potty,” whenever he has a, ahem, big job to do. He passes the time by lining up those cars…
Carol Kennedy says
The Sacraments article is spot on! Even the “best” parishes (those with all the classic “orthodox” bells and whistles like the great bible studies and conferences and youth programs and even adoration) are guilty of this sort of sacramental simony. And in the process we give today’s entitled generation even more reason to reject their faith because it doesn’t “meet their needs”. Agreed–it has to stop. There are times when I think we could improve our parishes by dumping all child centered prgrams and putting all resources into adult catechesis. Sacraments can be administered when families present their chidlren to Father for a readiness interview. And all “programs” aimed at passing on the Faith are to meet the needs of adults in the parish. Radical…but maybe we need radical.
Jann Elaine says
When I proudly told my Indian girlfriend (a mother of three) that I wanted to potty train my first child “early” at the age of 2, my friend gave me a dumbfounded look and asked “why would you want to wait until 2?!”
Lots of cultures, including the historical American culture (prior to 1950s), potty train at or much before 18 months. Americans sell their kids short “waiting until their kids are ready” at 3 or (gross!) even 4. Wee ones are much more capable than we expect in our working-mother-daycare-n-disposables culture, especially when we unnecessarily tie all the weird psychological and emotional trappings to things like we do with potty training.
-mother who now potty trains at 18 months.