When you smell the top of your newborn's head, a bond grows between you. It starts as a little thing but the depth of it is true.
When you drink in the smell of your home, you bond with it. Yes, it's messy and slippery and maybe, I will make bold to say, even a bit bloody (like a newborn!), but there is the potential for love there, if you press it to you and don't hold it at arms' length.
Long ago some women rejected the word housewife because it seemed demeaning to them. “I'm not married to a house.”
So this sturdy thought, that a woman has much to do and love in her home, nearly faded away from memory.
Well, here are a few housewifely activities you may have thought it necessary to scorn (like using certain old words). They might restore a sense of “woman of the house” where it is lacking — small gestures, but redolent of satisfaction and contentment.
1. Put on an apron.
Not exactly an activity, but… a housewifely thing to do.
There is a “girly-girl” resurgence in sweet, frilly, adorable aprons, and who am I to repudiate something fabulous with ruffles and possibly polka-dots, that you can put on over your party frock just before your guests arrive? That little number with the lacy pocket and the big bow is where it's at.
However…
Try a sturdy twill number for your everyday tasks. It won't need to be starched and ironed, but it will protect the shirt that did need to be ironed (more on that below). And you can wipe your hands and even the occasional nose on it. Then toss it in the wash.
I remember once complaining to an older friend, a very elegant, soft-spoken, old-school lady with a passel of children, then nearly grown, none of whom betrayed no evidence of ever having given her any trouble, that my pregnant belly attracted every manner of stain as I went about my daily business in the kitchen. I'm sure it cost her, because she never gave a hint of wanting to offer correction (unlike some people I could name), but she mildly and gently murmured, “Why don't you wear an apron?”
Astounding advice.
Why not indeed?
Lo! The discovery! When you put on an apron, you do not merely protect the garments. You also announce your commitment to the task at hand, your willingness to suffer the slings and sputterings of the pots and pans, your resolve to see the work out to the end. Cutting up raw poultry is not outside the realm of possibility. You can carry potatoes from the pantry to the sink in it, when you realize that in your haste you forgot a bowl. You can stow your clothespins in its capacious pockets. You can grab a hot handle with its edge, and also wipe out a pot with its clean underside.
When you put on a work apron, you put on your work attitude.
And when you take it off, your clothes are clean.
2. Make the beds.
I know, making beds is only a teensy weensy step up from cleaning toilets on the drudgery scale. It seems quite pointless.
Yet, when you make your own bed, your room looks amazingly better. You may even first change the sheets, and think what that will do for you when evening comes!
Children should make their own beds, it's true. Still, you make your rounds to each one, pulling up a cover here, tucking in a corner there, placing the favorite stuffed animal just so on this pillow*, moving the trucks off of that one.
Some people suggest that you should never re-make a child's bed, lest you damage his self esteem.
I contend that a child's self-esteem is in no way tied to the actual result, the made bed, which he in fact takes no notice of at all; this particular task being a whim of yours that is utterly and completely irrelevant to his concept of the universe and its workings. There is nothing you can do to the bed that will affect his perception of having humored you (and escaped punishment) by a wholly perfunctory re-arrangement (for neither better nor worse, in his estimation) of the accoutrements on the mattress, and his subsequent erasure of the process from his memory.
Thus, you may pretty it up to your heart's content, resting sure that the most likely result will be complete ignorance that anything has been tampered with. It's possible that, when the children enter the room, they will have a subconscious sense that “things are as they should be” and are possibly even “nice” — without in any way registering that a change has taken place, much less sending any affirmation your way. As long as you are cheerful and have expressed, at some point, pleasure with their efforts (if efforts there were; I mean, don't make things up), that is all they know. Do as you will.
The act of making/remaking their beds will quite naturally, in accordance with the laws of thermodynamics, propel you into a quick Blitz of the rooms, with which they may assist. No fear. Nothing more will likely happen. You won't be caught in the snares of a Deep Clean, in all probability. You have too much to do at the moment. But a quick Blitz sets things to rights, satisfies your housewifely sensibilities, and gives you some interesting reflections on possible future topics of conversation with your offspring regarding Shoving Blocks Under Beds, Piling Clothes in Corners, and Storing Legos under Dressers.
3. Hang the laundry on the line.
Maybe it's just me, but simply going outside — stepping out of the kitchen, to be precise — instantly refreshes my interior atmosphere. It gives me perspective. It grounds me (I do think there is something to “grounding” — the idea that touching the ground helps your body recalibrate — I often hang the laundry barefoot!).
When the dryer is right there it can seem utterly absurd to hang the laundry out on the line. I have no objection to using the dryer, especially for the eighty-twelve little undies and onesies (yes, we have those here again!) and socks, although of course, even such sundries can be hung out… The dryer is the most expensive thing you run in your household, so maybe that thought might be the impetus for discovering the added benefits of this time-consuming task.
You will save money. It's silly to complain about high costs if you aren't willing to do a few things to cut back. The little things add up.
But even more, the sunshine is good for you and the sheets and towels. It might take longer to get used to the stiffness of these things, when we've all been made to value “downy-soft linens.” But once you do, that very stiffness represents a job well tackled. And you know what, it doesn't take that long to hang out even two loads of laundry. I always think, “I really don't have time for this!” and nearly give in to the dryer.
You can combine hanging out clothes with giving the baby an airing — another old-fashioned idea sadly out of practice. Even the youngest baby benefits from the 20 minutes it takes you to get the washing on the line. He sits in his pram or on a blanket and watches you. He could even have a nap out there in the fresh air.
As soon as I'm down by the line, instantaneously my mood changes. The very pressure on my ears is different. My head expands. I hear the birds singing (or fighting, as in the case of the blackbirds attacking a large hawk in a tall oak until he flew away the other day).
And, as happens in the bedrooms, I notice other things… I see a few (ha!) weeds that can be pulled, I remember the mowing, I catch the cucumbers growing too big, I tear out the peas. I have often staggered into the house with an oversized basket of dried clothing and some beans piled on and slightly dirty hands. No harm done.
Get a good big laundry line that can hold at least two loads if you have the room. The pins can be found at any dollar or hardware store, if not the grocery store. But, if nothing else, get a rack for the kitchen corner. Or how about this type of drying rack, well known in other countries for apartment dwellers? Could you make use of it where you are? You won't be outside, but you will experience the rhythm of hanging at least some clothes to dry.
4. Iron some clothes.
Apart from the serious frustration of finding a good iron (I have a new one right now that is going right back), ironing is an incredibly rewarding housewifely task, and also the least actually done.
But why?
Like other things, if you have it set up (or ready to be set up), you may do it. If you do it, you will find out something staggering.
You can wear something other than yoga pants!
The reason you wear yoga pants (or jeans, or jeans skirts) and t-shirts — and nothing else — is that you haven't discovered the joys of ironing!
Yes, it's dangerous to iron with a crawling 8 month old. So, once a week, during the baby's nap or playpen time, just schedule in an hour to iron a few things that you have put in a laundry basket all their own. And then you will see.
The reason you think you need new clothes is (well, aside from the fact that you may need them) that new clothes come ironed and your old clothes need to be ironed by you. So iron them. Suddenly, especially if you also employ that magical substance, spray starch, something that seemed rather tired and not worth taking the t-shirt off for becomes a valuable part of your wardrobe. And if you also wear an apron (see #1), you may possibly be able to hang it up at the end of the day and wear it again. (See also Showering Every Day.)
If your husband and children have some ironed dress shirts hanging in their closets, Sundays will be much happier.
One trick for housewives is to have a clean surface on which to place your newly ironed items. Hangers are nice, but not necessary during the process for most things, which can be placed back in the basket. Maybe an ironing tutorial is in order, but for now, try folding the things neatly. After all, you aren't in your manor, employing a servant for no other purpose than to press your garments. In fact, you are likely to put those same things on and immediately go sit in a car. So don't strive for perfection. Just get them to the point where they would look like something you bought a few weeks ago and then folded away in a drawer. That's dandy.
But ironing goes beyond all this.
You stand there just… thinking… and restoring order. Crumpled, rumpledness becomes smooth crispness. It's quiet. The scent of the ironing soothes you. Even in summer, the warmth isn't objectionable (and I've been known to enjoy the fan blowing right on me — no oscillation, no sharing! — while ironing). You can listen to a podcast if you've had the foresight to set the children up with a quiet game of their own. It's the ideal rest-time activity if you don't actually need a nap.
If these things seem impossible because you feel you truly don't have enough time, it might be worthwhile to see if you can slow down a bit. Maybe you are trying to do too much.
These tasks, unlike the running around that we often feel forms the core of our main work, restore order, and it's liberating to accomplish what could have been last on the list.
What could hold us back now? The mere cooking of supper seems laughably easy! Competence has its rewards.
Housewives know this secret.
_________________
*Wait, am I serious? Placing the stuffed animals on the pillows?
Before you give up on me as hopelessly out of touch, just consider. When our bigs were little and we were moving into our own home, we had to help our landlord by having the house we were renting ready to show. I was conflicted about it for various reasons, one of which was the desperate difficulty, to my mind, of having a show-ready, neat house when I had to contend with four young children and I was pregnant! It seemed impossible!
I felt that it was the height of sacrifice for me even to vacuum. And then my mother (Habou) would help me out with the clutter and bed-making a bit, and she would arrange the stuffed animals (which, like you, we had an inexplicable profusion of) on the children's pillows. (Mind, we are talking about bunks and a crib, nothing fancy.) It takes literally five seconds to pick them up off the floor and prop them up on the pillows!
And then — this is the discovery — you know what, they are not on the floor! And — they are cute!!
Someone had to show me.
And you know what else? Eventually, the children come to think of this as how the room looks when it's straightened up, and they do it themselves, or willingly allow the clutter to be given/thrown away. That's another benefit, crazy as it all sounds. Five seconds' effort by you, a sense of stewardship for them.
abby hummel says
This apron trick comes two days before my due-date and would have been very handy earlier…! thanks. 😉
Theresa (Haus Frau) says
That was the first thought that went through my mind–and my littlest is now barely 3 months old. 😉 I did pull out my favorite apron in the earliest of postpartum days because it totally dressed up my frumpy baggy transition shirt. 🙂
Oh–and I need that ironing tutorial please!!! 😉
Clare says
I just adore all of this! I do all of these things, but I’ve never been able to get anyone else to understand why. My mother imparted a love especially for ironing and apron-wearing. It’s amazing how “womanly” these things make you feel, and I mean that in a positive way, of course! Thanks so much for saying what I couldn’t. 😉
Ellen says
Thank you for comments about aprons! I feel utterly useless when it comes time to do the simplest household chores. Then, I put on my apron, and I become indomitable. I’m glad to know that this isn’t just some finicky mind game I’m playing by myself.
Jenny says
The ironing does not happen at my house because there is no good place to iron. The ironing board is stored beside the dryer up against the wall in a tiny bathroom which pretends to be a laundry room. Who wants to iron in a bathroom? When I need to iron something, I have to drag out the board and set up shop either in the tiny bathroom completely blocking its use or in the hallway kitchen completely blocking its use or in the middle of the living room completely blocking its use. Or D) have wrinkly clothes. 🙂
Perhaps there is a better arrangement, but I’ll have to think about it because leaving a board up is not an option at my house.
Barbara says
Have you ever looked into a pull-down ironing board? There are also variations that can be used on top of a table or countertop. I have my laundry in the basement, so I keep my ironing board up all the time, but I know what you mean about pulling it out for each use. But maybe if you have a wall in the kitchen to mount a pull down board (looks like a cupboard) or you can slip a countertop version in the pantry until you need it, you’ll have more success.
Montserrat says
The second house we lived in had a pull down ironing board in the wall of the kitchen. It was put there in the 1920s when the house was built. After we moved the house was going to be torn down so my husband took out the ironing board (it had its own “cabinet”) and saved it for me. We are currently building an addition that includes a laundry room. I planned the whole room around that wonderful ironing board. I can’t wait to use it again!
Cara says
When I let my ironing pile over-take my space, I set up my ironing board in front of the TV. Why not? I have the satisfaction of finally watching “mom’s shows” which have ben recorded for weeks and freshly pressed clothes. Otherwise I have a tiny table top ironing board in my basement near my laundry room with my iron set up for smaller jobs. I find this smaller set up works very well for crushed fabric belts, one wrinkled pant hem, rumbled collars and other smaller jobs.
Jenny says
This post has started me thinking on redoing the cramped laundry/bathroom. Maybe new paint and a built-in ironing board will make life better!
Kate says
These are so true! Kneading bread once in a while instead of doing it in the food processor is another one. Takes a little time but somehow refreshes the house wifely soul 😉
Anastasia says
Oh Auntie Leila. You made my cry before I even got past putting on an apron. All of these things. Oh yes. I’ve started to do some already, hanging things on the line is the best way to get the children to let go of my pant legs and find things to keep themselves busy, like digging in the dirt or throwing rocks in the pond. And, for the first time in years, I ironed all my husbands shirts the other day. The children were fascinated. My son asked me to iron his shirt too. And yes I did it while the baby napped. But the apron! It’s magical. Why didn’t I think of that? Thank you so much. I am still teary. Maybe it’s that I just found out that we will have four (4! and I wasn’t sure we’d even get past 2 since we started late). I don’t know. I just love you.
Kate says
Well, after 27 years of housewife-ing, I seem to be on the same track! In my impatience, though, I still forget to put on an apron unless I’m doing something really messy (like pitting cherries). But I have an abundantly supply of sturdy and attractive aprons hanging in our kitchen (I even made a cowboy patterned one for my youngest, so he still feel manly in an apron).
I never saw my parents’ bed unmade. My father spent some time in a monastery and one of the habits he took away with him was making his bed first thing. When bed making comes up, my husband likes to tell the story of his mother, who was kind of an uptight housekeeper. He would make his bed, but she would always come in and remake it because it wasn’t up to her perfect specifications. After awhile, he just stopped making his bed and let her do it (he was the youngest in a small family, so she had plenty of time to kill, I guess). I tell my kids to make their beds and leave it at that. I am happy if no bedding is on the floor.
Hanging laundry is one of my favorite chores. We were fortunate that the former owners (products of the Depression) put in enough sturdy line to hang eight (yes, 8) loads of laundry. The T-poles are firmly cemented in and haven’t moved in decades. It’s even strong enough to hang a small swing from. I thing the husband, as was typically of that generation, was a jack of all trades and familiar with a welding torch. He used thick wire (rust is not a problem here) so it never sags. My peeve is that clothes pins are just not what they used to be. I have to buy new ones every year. Any recommendations?
Laura says
find old clothespins at flea markets and yard sales!!
Leila says
Kate, I am all envy over your clothesline! Mine is where the underground water is plentiful, making even the concrete footings unstable. So it’s always a bit wonky!
I get my clothespins from wherever I happen to be when I remember I need them — dollar store, grocery store. They are always fine. One thing is — don’t leave them on the line. Always take them in. The rain ruins them.
Barbara says
Loved this post! All of these suggestions are things that many women scoff at, but they are — I can’t even call them chores — activities to soothe the soul.
Dusa says
Yes! Thank you Auntie L.
Janet says
Allow me to “third” that emotion! Leila, in a world where people – especially women today – drive themselves crazy to find peace, you have been given the gift to point out where true peace of heart lives. I love everything that pops up on LMLD but your posts about homemaking have inspired minds and changed hearts. I know that they have for me and I am very grateful.
Lacy says
Helpful and delightful! I watched the following YouTube offering exploring some of the dynamics of the British homeplace during World War 2 just yesterday and found it both fascinating and enlightening. It’s called the Wartime Kitchen and Garden. While not exactly the same subject as your post, I think you might find some of the ideas familiar. Thanks for the inspiration!
Leila says
Lacy, I pinned this video to watch later! Thanks!
Elizabeth says
Well, I feel a little silly for not figuring out about the apron tip on my own, especially since I was just lamenting about how all my maternity clothes have giant stains on the belly (and I still have at least a month until the baby is born!), wondering if I was really just that bad at laundry. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
Elizabeth says
These are my favorite types of posts Auntie Leila. You take the things that should be so basic and simple and suddenly they become new! Ironing is the one chore I really dislike and now I have the urge to go do it.
I do wish I had a laundry line, but for right now I just take my rack and move it outdoors when the weather is nice. Another benefit to hanging laundry to dry is that it will make your clothes last much longer! The heat of the dryer really wears down elastic and knits.
Leila says
Elizabeth, that is so true! Even if you can only hang up the dress shirts, you will be saving so much. The dryer is hard on the good clothes!
Elizabeth says
Oh, I must have commented on dryers before… but nonetheless I’ll do it again! You see, in Europe dryers aren’t as ubiquitous as they are in the US, where people seem to have no clue how to live without them. My mom had five kids and bought a dryer after her third child was born in the middle of winter. And even then she only used it in very damp weather (when it takes more than 2 days for laundry to dry), and only for small things like undies, diapers, socks, washcloths, etc. I grew up with air dried clothes, linen and towels and much prefer that feel over the soft dryer feel.
Apart from cutting costs by not using another machine, it also gives your clothes a much longer life. All that grey stuff you scrape from the dryer are actually tiny bits of your clothes.
I just put my drying rack next to the central heating in winter and it’s dry in no time.
My American friends ask me, “But how do you dry your laundry?” And honestly, some of them have never in their lives hung out laundry on a line.
Then two summers ago I spent a few months in the US, where generally speaking, summers are much much warmer than Western-European ones. Imagine my surprise at the absence of clothes lines outside! No way was I going to use a dryer when the outdoor temperatures resembled a dryer. But when I asked where I could hang my laundry, they looked at me as if I was a gipsy and then said: “Hanging laundry outside will make the neighborhood look bad.”
The irony of this I find that American tourists adore small Mediterranean villages for their authentic charm, which always includes laundry hanging between 2 houses in a narrow street. It’s an image you’ll find in any tourist brochure.
Anyway, off course I did hang my laundry on an improvised line between two trees, and it was usually dry within half an hour. Clothes that you dry on a clothes hanger dry up so neatly that you don’t even have to iron them anymore :).
Kimberly says
I was very excited that the house we are renting had a clothesline. (We are in the midwest US). However, it is against the lease for me to use it! So silly…
Dani M. says
There’s another benefit to wearing an apron: When I have mine on, I don’t feel right sitting and browsing the internet. It actually motivates me to keep going, to be more industrious. Magic!
Stephanie in Germany says
St. Martha, pray for us!
Mrs. B. says
That’s right – it was just the right day to post this!
sue mcmillen says
All of these things I have done in my married life of 30 years. Some, have slipped away. Like ironing and hanging laundry. Time to get a second ironing board. It used to live right next to the washer and dryer. Shirts got ironed there but the new house has such a small space and the ironing board went to the sewing room on another floor. I just hung something on my lines again last week. Time for more. And I love my apron!!
Annie says
I’m not a housewife yet (and my housekeeping skills could definitely use some work), but after living in Europe for the past year, where scarcely anyone uses a dryer and indeed my apartment itself does not even have a dryer, I can attest to #3! I actually look forward to my time hanging up the laundry on our drying rack… a good chance to listen to some music, at least. Plus, it ensured that I wouldn’t shrink any of my clothing! I can only imagine how enjoyable an activity it could be if it were being done in one’s own backyard 🙂
Mrs. B. says
Auntie Leila, you have a real talent for sowing beauty – what a priceless gift! You can talk about the most mundane, (apparently) insignificant things, and gently reveal how to clothe them in beauty: it’s so obvious in your book, too…
It helps me learn how to be a less grumpy housewife – thank you!
ps – When I was a child my mother would hang the things she had hand-washed outside in winter, too: the socks would become frozen stiff! And one of my favorite summer games was to run through the big wet sheets drying outside: so cool and refreshing!
Kathryn says
Thank you so much for this! I needed to hear it, because I read the Lauds this morning and thought about dedicating today to housework in honor of St. Martha. The thing is that it was a really bad night of sleepless littles and I am just out of energy. These things, though, I can do. Well, not the laundry line. I live in a dryer (Arizona) but the HOA says no clothes lines.
corina says
How I love this post! Thank you!
I have learned to enjoy ironing in these last 5 years since I’ve been a mother. When my first child was born I remember having piles of laundry in the living-room, waiting to be ironed; it seemed such a core to me, especially here in Italy where people use to iron everything. Now with 2 children and the third on the way I have developed a system of regular ironing clothes and I found myself admitting, when my daughter asked, that I actually enjoy it.
It’s the same for hanging the laundry: we don’t own a dryer (I suppose it’s not that common in Europe, but I want one for the humid weather) and we do all our laundry after 7 pm because it costs less. I really enjoy going out on the balcony in summertime, when children are already tucked in their beds, and hanging everything.
And you are right: this attitude of appreciation came in time, with competence and with embracing all housewifely things as normal parts of the day.
Caitlin says
Yes to the ironing tutorial! I know that it’s silly, because I CAN iron but I just don’t get the results I want! Also, those floors in your apron shot- gorgeous! What a pleasant room!
Leila says
Caitlin — so funny that you comment on the floors. That is Bridget’s room (full-length mirror!) and those floors are getting worn. But it shows you that when things are tidy — and there is no one like Bridget for keeping things tidy — even the worn floors look good!
Caitlin says
I think that the “worn” look really adds to the charm! I am always underwhelmed by brand new flooring, something slightly lived in just says home to me….
Mrs. B. says
Despite my lovely childhood memories and my still strong love of outdoorsy-smelling laundry, I’ll be the last woman on earth to despise or dismiss the dryer – I am sure its inventor had his time in Purgatory cut just because of this! We all know there are times when laundry done in the blink of an eye is a blessing, especially in a household full of little ones (and we could add circumstances, like a small city apartment, as Leila acknowledges, even more so if it is in parts of Europe, where dryers are rare and there are cities with air filled with black sticky dust from all the cars.)
Let’s not belittle the inventions that have made life easier, but, like everything else, let’s use them gratefully and properly.
Leila says
Mrs. B, not despising or dismissing! I am a big fan of the dryer! Here in Massachusetts, the majority of days are too damp or cold to hang out and still live the life we live.
Mrs. B. says
I should have been more clear that I wasn’t referring to your original post, Leila: you were doing something positive in it, encouraging women to try something. But a few comments, at least in their tone, struck me as negative instead, in a kind of “I can’t believe people rely so much on dryers!” manner. So I just wanted to bring some balance and understanding and gratefulness.
It reminded me of a story I read in Rod Dreher’s blog recently, about a man in Virginia working on his tiny farm only with tools available in the 11th century – he was raving about the connection this gave him with his land, but it didn’t struck the same chord with me: it sounded a little conceited and out of touch. The people working the land in the 11th century were serfs… ok, some were monks, too, and they were luckier 🙂 I just don’t like it when we forget so easily that we have a lot to be thankful for when we talk about technology: it is to be used properly, and there are many excesses all around us, but the answer is not to pine for the days of much harder work, forgetting what that was like for the people of the time.
Maybe the memory of this blog post was still fresh and I read too much in the tone of what I read here – I do apologize for that!
Leila says
Mrs. B, I certainly agree with you there! No apology necessary. Technological improvements are indeed improvements, used wisely, and it’s the height of irony to post on the internet about the superior value of living in the 11th century, even if it’s someone else who’s doing it!
Eileen says
Mrs. B, I have to admit that I had the same feeling. Since I have Irish cousins, they do scold me for using my dryer and not using the clothes line with all the sunshine we have. So the negativity I picked up was also my own guilt trip. But with all the environmentalist movement in the US, one would think that the clothes line would be mandatory and at least up on the list with saving the Spotted Owl! But, as others posted, some neighborhoods restrict clotheslines.
My 86 year old Irish mama still hangs her sheets and towels outside and hangs the socks in the garage; even in the winter months. But to give God His due; she said that with every baby that came along, she was blessed with another miracle of modernism that helped her with her chores; with baby #5 came the dryer. I still remember the wash board and the hand-turn wringer in the garage that she washed the diapers with. When the washer came, she also saved the rinse, or gray, water from one load in the laundry sink to wash the jeans and pants load of the next load.
I used to hang my laundry on a line, but it is too convenient to just throw a load into the dryer now that I work outside of the home.
By the way, I always wear an apron, even thought my kids and neighbors tease me about it, LOL. And I have always ironed our cotton clothes. I don’t know how other people manage to not do that. My favorite board was the one that came out of a wall closet. Unfortunately our newer style home doesn’t have that feature.
One other side note; when younger, I visited Spain and was staying in tenement housing. The women had lines on reels from one building to the next. I washed and hung my one dress on the 5th story line. When I went outside to reel it in the next morning I found that it had been stolen! I have to admit, I was no longer intrigued about quaint European settings.
Anne Bender says
I love all of this, do all of this, despite working outside of the home. And during the summer when my children are home and I’m at work, they take over for me very nicely. My number one favorite housewifely thing to do is hanging the laundry on the line. Each and every time I do it, I remember when my children were babies and all of their cloth diapers were enjoying the breeze like flags of surrender, evidence that I had surrendered my life to God as a wife and mother.
Melissa Diskin says
One question: do birds not poop on the clothes hanging on the line?
And all I need now is a combo of my grandmother’s smock/blouse apron (just a top, really), my sturdy twill one, and my waitressing apron of my college years with various pockets!
Janet says
Yes, work smocks! So many women used to wear them years ago. I had an aunt who worked with fabrics and she always had a smock on to keep loose threads from sticking to her clothing. I would love to find some modern versions.
Leila says
Melissa, occasionally a bird does do its duty on the line. Then you have to re-wash the item. Usually it’s because you left things out too long.
That is one reason why it needs to be far from the trees, not an easy requirement here on our land.
But in general, no — not really a problem!
Mrs. M says
Sometimes, but in the 6 years I’ve been hanging laundry and paying attention, it has only happened twice. One time it was on my son’s pristine, white karate uniform. I couldn’t believe my luck!
Montserrat says
LOVED this post! It is really the simple things that make the biggest difference. I have seven daughters and we each have our own ruffly, feminine aprons. I give them as gifts to every new bride too. They are always well received. I have yet to meet a woman who can resist putting on a cute apron!
One wonderful thing I have found when hanging clothes on the line is if given a couple of good snaps before hanging them (holding the clothing and whipping them up and down – ha! I don’t know how else to describe it) they will dry with little to no wrinkles so there is no need to iron! It is only the dress shirts with buttons and collars that need a light pressing.
Lindsey says
Yes, I have found that an apron really does make me feel more industrious! Paired with some indoor shoes, I feel like I’m dressed for the job and “ready for work.”
xyz says
The thing about ironing is that a good iron makes a huge difference. My iron is not good and it takes me around 3 times more ironing time to get the same result as when I use my mother’s wonderful, professional-quality iron.
Leila says
Hmm, xyz, what brand is it? Asking for a friend 😉
Amy says
“These tasks, unlike the running around that we often feel forms the core of our main work, restore order, and it’s liberating to accomplish what could have been last on the list.”
Ahhh, all of this makes me want that restoring of order in my days. It is very inspiring and makes the tasks that make up my days seem more lovely…adds an element of beauty to what can easily become dull and drudgery. I so enjoy reading what you write, thank you! And now to get that lovely apron out that my mother made me several Christmases ago. ☺️
Auntie Sue says
I am wearing my apron! I have six or eight I think. I like the flour sack ones that they sell at Walmart. I ususally burn through a couple a day, since they are very convenient for wiping your hands in between tasks. They are also handy for carrying surplus garden produce that you find when you make your way out to the garden for some chives or a sprig of parsley. And I have resorted to wearing them when I clean too. espcially when I’m doing some deep scrubbing. When I started wearing aprons, I found that I was less afraid of ruinng my nicer clothes and was so I began to dress better every day and I felt more positive about everything then.
bobbi @ revolution of love says
I am 0 for 4 as I sit here in my shorts and recently stained shirt so I have a ways to go in my housewifely attitude but I had to smile at your apron comment. My parents joined us when we went on a family trip to Lake Tahoe and when my mom was unpacking her suitcase she pulled out an apron and got right to work in the kitchen. I may be a grown up mom with my own children but it still gave me a sense of “home” to see her in an apron ready to bring her mama’s touch no matter where she was. 🙂
Leila says
bobbi, love it. I have a friend who arrived at a cleanup party putting on her apron… so brisk!
Eileen says
That makes me laugh! I just came home from tent camping in the Sierras and I was also wearing my apron all week!
Josie says
When I am on the ball, which is not lately;), I have a little mantra in my head “top to bottom”. Once the mornings get going, if I begin to feel lost as to where to start, I think “top to bottom”; start in the bedrooms and make the beds (upstairs being “top”), then I suddenly feel worlds better and completely see how to tackle the rest of the day’s needs . Great post as always!
Mary says
I have friends who think I’m nuts for ironing my pillowcases, but I love doing it–because that’s how my mom does it. I learned all of my “housewifely” things from her, including all of the gems you mention here: wearing aprons, the rhythm of ironing, enjoying the stiffness and fresh smell of clothes hung out to dry, making beds. Thank you for helping to pass these things on to girls that may have not had the same model to follow!
Leia says
My husband would love for me to iron and we have two! I guess he’ll have freshly ironed work shirts for next week 🙂
Heather says
What a lovely post! I love getting outdoors too and am excited to look into a clothes line!
Emily says
I recently discovered the joy in tasks that I called just that – restoring order. Looking at tasks I previously disliked (like folding laundry) suddenly had a new peace and joy when I recognized them for what they were.
Also, I didn’t realize there was anything to do with stuffed animals other than prop them on the pillow – I guess that shows just how wonderful of a housewife my mom is/was!
Susanna says
Another voice for the wonders of clotheslines and fresh air! Just this month we moved into a house with room for a clothesline and I’ve been loving it. However, my one year old usually sobs at my feet or runs down the driveway out of sight. This same situation turned me off outdoor laundry several years ago with my older daughter too. Carriers don’t work with the bending over. Any thoughts? Also, what do people in northern climes (say, Wisconsin) do in winter? Give in to the dryer? Fill microscopic living rooms with racks?
Emily says
I was able to use a carrier while hanging laundry by dragging an extra chair or stool outside and sitting the laundry basket on top. That way, there was significantly less bending!
Adele says
We live in Wisconsin. We heat with wood. We don’t need a humidifier because we hang our laundry on racks near the stove. And it dries fast, in a couple of hours. If I need something dried is five minutes or less I have a warming top to our stove and I can lay it on there for a few minutes to dry (please recall its a warming top not the actual top of the stove). Hanging laundry out also becomes very important when diapers are in use. I also love my apron but find that for heavy work (cooking, cleaning, or gardening) a headcover helps me feel more industrious as well. I love pretty headscarves. They also make me feel better and more put together when I leave the house.
Leila says
Susanna, you need a play pen/ play yard!
During the winter (and the many days of rain here), of course, we use the dryer. However, an indoor rack is still a must! Even just for the wet snow gear. Try a collapsible one.
In one of my previous houses, the furnace room was clean enough to string clothesline all through the floor joists. Since the laundry room was right next door, it was perfect. I used that line a lot! I hated every other thing about that house, but that setup was great.
Check out the basement line in this post:
http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org/2010/07/line-drying-at-last/
(scroll down a bit) I LOVE IT!!!
Woman of the House says
My mother has a basement clothesline between her floor joists as well. It was used a lot when I was growing up and still is. I don’t think she ever uses her dryer.
Elizabeth says
Susanna, my daughter did the same thing. She had a bad case of crocodile tears (might be different for yours, though!). 🙂 I ended up dealing with it using a combination of tough love (“oh, be quiet now, there’s nothing wrong”) and including her in the job. I had her hand me clothespins and that’s how she learned to count. We also talked about the color of each piece of clothing/towel, who it belonged to, why we have to do laundry in the first place, etc.
Now she’s old enough that she runs off to play (the yard is fenced, although she knows how to work the latch on the gate…). A sandbox helped in this regard. 🙂
Elizabeth says
Susanna, could you put the baby on your back? If you have an Ergo (or something similar), mei tai, or sturdy woven wrap you can put the kidlet on your back and make bending a lot easier! It’s what I do when I have to drag the baby and the laundry cart to the laundromat. It would be nice if the baby would safely play by herself, but it’s a handy way to get things done on those reckless fuss bucket days. YouTube has a ton of helpful tutorials.
Susanna says
I like the sandbox idea, since that’s so versatile! Maybe when we get out of temporary housing since those are a beast to move! Buying some plastic playpen kinda defeats the purpose of saving energy by line-drying, but if I already had one I’d use it. And setting the basket up on a chair is brilliant, so that I can still use the ergo. Thanks, all!
Joy in Alabama says
Thank you, Leila! I’m older than most of your readers (almost 55), so maybe it goes with the generation, but I do all those things, except our present parsonage does not have a clothesline nor a place in the yard to put one. I cannot stand it if the beds aren’t made (my 15yo son makes his so tight, you could bounce a coin on it), I love to wear aprons, I love clothes dried outside, and I actually love to iron. I do use spray starch, but my mother-in-law uses sizing on all her cotton clothes and they always look so fresh and new.
Kimberlee says
Such a lovely post, Leila, for the feast of St. Martha! These simple things hold much power in the heart and in the home. God bless you for encouraging beautiful ‘housewifeliness’ as you do.
Rosemary says
I haven’t ironed a stitch of clothing since the twins were born. (And if we are being honest, probably not very often since I was pregnant with them … I spent a lot of time napping on the couch while the baby (now toddler) dumped his toys everywhere. 😛 ) But now they are nappers, praise God! So perhaps I should start again.
Leila says
Rosemary, twins get you out of everything! You are a housewife par excellence, right there on the sofa!!
sue mcmillen says
You betcha Auntie Leila! And this is her mother speaking!! 🙂
elizabethe says
Thank you for this post. It made me think of two things.
When I was growing up in LA in the 70s and 80s my home and many of my friends homes had a washing machine but no dryer and the backyards all had laundry lines.
I like that you mentioned that having your house on the market was a big impetus for figuring out some things. It was the exact same for me. We had our house on the market FOREVER, at least 3 times and I learned two things from it. 1, that the clutter I thought didn’t bother me was really stressing me out (we put a lot of our things in storage so the house would be uncluttered and easier to keep tidy looking, and as soon as it was gone I was much less stressed), and maintaining a home that I could get “showing ready” even with two (and then three) little kids (man it took us a long time to sell our house!) within 20 to 30 minutes was really not all that hard to do with some basic effort every day.
Thank you for these posts! I’m inspired to maybe start ironing again and to wear my aprons I have hanging up. I just forget to put mine on. lol!
Rachel says
I second the ironing tutorial! Ironing! I’ve been hoping to gain some wisdom on that subject as my mother was an occasional iron-er (once every few months) since line-drying clothes was enough for her.
However, my husband has a hyper-attention-to-detail eye for wrinkled clothes and collars, in particular, and it’s been an education in ironing for me over the past five years of our marriage. I would be happy to hear how someone else manages the ironing (besides my friend who told me her mother set aside an 8-hour day once every two weeks to tackled all of her husband’s dress shirts!)
Liz U says
I wish I could have a clothes line! the HOA won’t allow it. Boo!
Jocelyn says
I so enjoy your blog and have forwarded it to my daughter and nieces. How I wish this had been around in my child-rearing days, although I did have a great example in my mom….just didn’t always want to live up to her example! I followed the link to your “Showering” post and had the best chuckle!! I must confess, I’m the crazy “fan” who ran into you at Michael’s a short while ago. My daughter was mortified when I told her that I spoke to you. At least she was not with me, so I spared her any embarrassment.
Leila says
Jocelyn, it made our day! Bridget was not mortified — she thought it was fun!
It was lovely to meet you. Thanks for coming up to me! (And now I have a better frame for my Sacred Heart, thanks to that trip 🙂
Polly says
My neck is aching from all the nodding I did through this post!!
YES to everything, I love it all. You had me from the first sentence because I distinctly remember the smelling-the-baby’s-head moment of bonding.
And I started laughing b/c I am reading this post *while wearing my twill apron.*
I will do anything if I’m in an apron. Just putting it on changes my mental state. I become readied for work, and really ready for whatever the day throws at me. I love a good, large, substantial apron–pockets are a definite bonus, too. Today my aprons will see me through waffle-making (already done), kitchen-cleaning, vacuuming, removing an old swallows’ nest from the deck (this will be an apron that will be specific to its purpose and then thrown in the laundry immediately–I don’t like to follow outside work with inside work w/ the same apron), dinner-making, laundering, etc. They are handy for bringing in some tomatoes or peppers from the garden when you see ripe things and have forgotten your basket. Aprons are the best.
Making the beds makes the day start. It puts my physical and mental house in order. It makes me feel like we’re on track!
When my oldest was a baby, he’d nap and I’d iron once or twice a week. I always used Mrs Meyers’ ironing spray (now no longer made, I’m so sad to say, although I still have a bunch b/c I bought them out at closeout prices) and I would often watch something like Pride and Prejudice. It was relaxing *and* productive.
I self-identify as ‘housewife’, even when filling out forms. Yes, I could put ‘stay at home mother,’ ‘homemaker’ or even ‘ex-attorney’ but I like the home-and-relationship-centric term “housewife.” Makes me glad to be one.
Leila says
Polly, I do the same. I am so sick of PC nonsense! Housewife is a great thing to be!
Rozy says
I prefer the term Homemaker because it infers that as a woman I am the maker of my home. A woman can be single or married, mother or not, working full-time or stay at home but still consider herself the maker of her home. This was a lovely post and I agreed with everything. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and wonderful way with words.
Joy says
I do wear aprons and make beds every day. I used to iron weekly and hang things out on a line but then we moved to a neighborhood which doesn’t allow clotheslines and I started working 20+ hours a week outside the home which left no time for ironing. However, we are moving back into a house where I can put a clothesline (I especially love my linens dried outside) and I love ironing so I’m hoping to somehow work that back into my schedule, even if it’s just 30 minutes a week.
I love the idea of bonding with your home. I find that once I bond with my home, I enjoy puttering about, doing this and that to make it nicer for everyone. Thanks for the encouragement to up my housewifery. 🙂
Mrs. M says
This was a beautiful article. So many of yours are, but this one may just be my very favorite. When others scoff at me for doing all the things you’ve listed, I honestly don’t have any words to explain it other than, “I enjoy doing all these things.” I have all along called myself a housewife, never a stay-at-home mom. I’ve been at home for 9 years. My first time wearing an apron came when I took a job while in college and a newlywed. I had to work evening shifts, and couldn’t figure out how to keep my nice clothes clean while I cooked supper before heading to work. Aprons! Of course!!! Wisdom of the ages!
Bed making — Every morning, I have my routine going room to room, making beds, setting things right, and saying a prayer for everyone. At the door, I turn around and sigh contentedly and throughout the day when I’m in and out of the bedrooms, a smile is on my face when I see how calm and serene things look.
Clotheslines — I use mine in the summer always, and off and on in the other seasons for certain things. This one thing has done so much for my mental state. There is just something about being outside, doing gentle, physical work and observing the sights, sounds, and smells around you. Not to mention saying hello to neighbors. For all those with HOA restrictions, look into it. Some states have passed laws that don’t allow HOA’s to prevent resource saving devices like clotheslines as long as the clotheslines are acceptable to HOA’s. I don’t think you could pour concrete and have those nice big ones like at apartment buildings, but stringing a movable one from fencepost to fencepost is maybe a possibility.
Ironing — this probably my favorite activity in the home. It is peaceful and relaxing and the results are quick with a good iron.
I’ve enjoyed all the responses. It is so good knowing I’m not alone in truly enjoying these tasks. You’d think I was quite strange with the puzzled looks and shocked gasps I receive when I tell someone I have ironing to do today or need to get out to the line before the rain starts.
Cristina says
Wonderful advice as usual!
As I was scrubbing poop out of the tub last night–after a bathtime gone horribly, horribly awry–I was thinking that, in addition to an apron, what a difference a pair of cleaning gloves makes. Like your apron story it took me an embarrassingly long time to think to buy a pair but now when I’m wearing them I find myself magically cleaning more thoroughly, scrubbing more vigorously, and not in the least afraid of what I’m plunging my hands into. Feces be gone, I am no longer afraid of you! 🙂
Amanda says
I love these simple posts! So much common sense has been lost and it’s nice to have it revived here for us younger women. I’ve been begging my husband to get my clothesline up ever since we moved here….2 years ago! I’m thinking it’s time! I used to hang all our clothes in our MN apartment and it was a lovely time, I still have fond memories of hanging laundry beside friends and neighbors outside while the toddlers toddled around and my infant laid on a blanket under the clothes giggling at the “mobile” his mommy had hung for him 🙂
I need to get an apron for sure, that’ll have to be next on my list. Maybe I’ll make it as a present for myself when I get pregnant next, I can totally see the benefit for keeping spills off of the big awkward pregnant belly! I might make mine with extra pockets too for chicken eggs and clothespins.
Adele says
May I suggest that apron pockets are not the best place for eggs with little running around. A very sweet hug can turn into a really big mess fast that way. Even just getting too close to the counter has caused issues. Of course it could just be because I forget they’re in there and am apt to bump into things.
Jamie says
I put the stuffed animals on the pillows this morning! It made me smile. 🙂
Robin says
A good source for pinafore style aprons is Kitchenwear Aprons. They are a family company in Portland, Oregon.
Roomy, deep pockets, will fit anyone, they even have girls sizes, so Momma and girls can match. So many colors and patterns, and a sale page. I have no connection with the company, just a satisfied customer! Their website
is kitchenwears.com. I am a long time reader, but first time to comment., I love your blog and often quote your posts in my homilies. Sts. Mary and Martha of Bethany are my Confirmation name Saints, so good timing of this post.
Mother Abbess Robin, OCC
Anitra says
Hah. I don’t wear an apron as often as I should.. and I iron VERY rarely. I discovered while in college that I really hated ironing – it bothers my back with the extended bending over, and the results are always mediocre for the pain it entails. So, I try to have as few iron-required clothes as possible (and I try to avoid ironing even them by hanging them up straight out of the washer if possible), and my husband does most of his own ironing (I also try to take his dress shirts out of the wash right away and hang them so they require little or no ironing). Every once in a while, I will iron his shirts for him as an act of love – but he will also do the same for me sometimes.
Everything else holds true, though… lately I’ve been hanging up a lot of laundry (the weather is good for it and with baby #3 newly arrived, we’re doing a LOT of laundry) – and I always have to coax my kids to come outside while I hang it. Because the best time(s) of day for hanging the laundry are not when they want to be in the backyard – they only want to be out there after dinner, when everything is cooling off and they are full of I-don’t-want-to-go-to-bed-yet energy. Bah. Sometimes I wait for naptime just so I can hang up the laundry in a relaxed way.
Becky says
I love this post. The home arts are real and valuable, and it is shocking how many of these common sense ideas have been forgotton. I will confess to being really terrible at ironing. When something is very wrinkled I just toss it back in the dryer, which I think puts me in violation of TWO of these good rules for housewives. Or, shamefully, I put on the wrinkled item anyway and think, ” oh those wrinkles will wear right out in a few minutes.” (Why am I confessing this in a public forum???)
With regards to hanging out the laundry…I love line-dried sheets and towels. But the dry season in portland is also spider season…those guys get all over EVERYtHiNg in summer and fall. Bummer. Any ideas for overcoming that?
Also, I am all about setting up the dolls on the bed. Cute arrangements really invite good imaginative play, too.
Thanks for your wisdom! Keep it coming!
Becky
Betsy M says
Becky, we combat spiders here by tossing line dried clothes in the drier for a few minutes. The spiders end up in the lint bin (usually).
Becky says
Oh! Thanks for the tip? May I ask living or dead? I am not in the habit of celebrating dead bugs, but spiders definitely give me the creeps.
NancyinCA says
I struggled with the routine of keeping our bed made when we were first married (I wasn’t required to as a kid, so I never acquired the habit). I read in a book that in the average bedroom, 80% of the floor space is covered by the bed, so if you make the bed, 80% of the cleaning in the room is done. That was a revolutionary thought, and now (20 years later) I rarely miss a day. It is so nice to crawl into a tidy bed at night-much more relaxing.
A. says
Nancy, I am (hopefully) completing the same struggle. I slept in a top bunk for four years in college, and nothing disincentivizes making one’s bed like hitting your head on the ceiling when you try AND no one being able to see the fruits of your efforts, so I got out of the habit. Four years later, I am a newlywed and my (very neat and tidy) husband has gotten me back into doing it every day. It is very satisfying!
Yay clotheslines! We had one when I was growing up and it only got full sun before 11 AM or so, but we used it all day long. I think the fact that it was shaded meant things took longer to dry but our clothes got less faded. We are house-hunting right now and one of our criteria is “room for a clothesline” (and, by extension, no HOA to tell us we can’t have one). I cannot WAIT to have one and use it!
Erin says
I love this post! Shortly after I married my husband last fall we moved to a home with an option for a clothesline. My fondest childhood memory is the smell of a fresh made bed with sheets off the line. Alas, it was a very sad day when I realized my husbands severe allergies made the idea of hanging anything on the clothes lines a very very bad idea. He is worth the sacrifice, but it did cross my mind that the next time he travels for work I could get a “sheets on the line” fix!
LJ says
I’ve never felt quite so betrayed by an article of clothing as the day that I proudly bustled about in my red frilly apron while hostessing a brunch – only to discover the red fabric of the apron had transferred and stained my white blouse! Still rebuilding my trust in aprons. Such a blow to the feminine soul… your apron betrays you and ruins your best shirt!
DMKMLF changed my life in college by revealing the “toss the things to be ironed in a basket” secret. Revelation. So much better than putting things back in the closet unpressed and pressing as you run out the door!
Ironing also makes me remember my grandfather, a veteran, who wore a pressed shirt every day of his life. So much beauty in his sense of order and decorum.
Julie says
I knew I had made good choices as a housewife when I saw your blogpost, and spotted you wearing my exact, same, apron. (okay I must confess, I bought it for my husband’s grilling apron, and when I discovered it’s usefulness and comfort and superhero powers, I have worn it consistantly.) Hanging laundry makes me so very happy, so glad you posted about it. Always a fan!
Julie
Barbara says
Hi Leila,
I love this post for so many reasons…
Enjoying your blog and links to everything too.
In my late 50 s with a husband and 5 grown sons.
Oh how I wish I had your advise when I was raising those boys.
Finding so many things I wish I had done differently.
Yes , they “turned out”fine. But they aren’t practicing Catholics at this
Point (all in their 20s) and I want them to be. Learning to pray for them.
Love the little oratory too. Thanks so much.
Virginia says
I love my apron! I just recently (in the last year or so) have made it a habit to throw it on whenever I’m beginning to cook. Also, making the bed. My SIL said one time, “I don’t know why people don’t make their beds, it takes all of two minutes and makes your brain feel better when you see it.” I’ve taken her advice to heart and she is right! But, alas, ironing is just something I can not master. I am thankful that my husband not only does it (and does it well) but doesn’t mind doing it. Loved this post!!!
Erin says
I’m finishing out the final weeks of a difficult pregnancy that has required 6 months of bed rest. This post captures everything I miss about my normal, daily routines! What a blessing a little perspective is. After months of someone else doing my laundry, washing my dishes, cooking my meals, playing with my children, and cleaning my house, I have come to see my motherly and housewifely duties not as drudgery, but as a privilege not to be taken for granted. Reading this makes me anxious to return to a normal and boring everyday life. 🙂
Amanda says
Love this so much and needed to read it on this Saturday at home. Making our new house a home has not come naturally to me. Your beautiful mama heart has helped. The way you find the beauty and goodness in the smallest of tasks is beautiful and encouraging. Thank you!!!!
claire says
Love this post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Patty says
I do that with the stuffed animals. I always tell the kids to “make the beds pretty!” after the sheets and covers are pulled up (when we actually get around to making their beds…).
At what age would you stop remaking their beds? Is my 9yo too old to have it remade by me?
Patty says
Coming back to this post to tell Auntie Leila I bought an apron and I love it, only to discover when scrolling down the page that my apron is nearly identical to Auntie’s!
(The apron I bought is (obviously) black and probably a size too large. The store owner was concerned the apron was too big but it goes almost down to my knees and that’s probably a good thing. The aprons in stock in my size were lovely prints, but had too much white, which for me would be crazy-making. Jumbo black pinstriped apron it is.)
My canning is going fabulously and I’ve not ruined any clothes yet. 🙂
Rita Helen says
Late in coming as I am I don’t know if anyone will read this but still I thought I would add two tips of my own.
One, the stiffness of air dried clothes can be lessened if they are first fluffed in the drier ( I’ve heard you can bring them in before they are quite dry and do it then as well but I’ve never been attentive enough to attempt it) this is especially true of jeans I’ve found.
Two, if you fluff your dress clothes and hang them promptly you can eliminate the need to iron most of them. I confess that is all I ever do, never having learned ironing because my mother did that instead for most things.
Also, I love aprons : )
Caroline Benzel says
Are there other posts about this topic? I need to do two things: 1. not be so bored stuck at home all day and 2. have a lovely house. Think I could kill two birds with one stone.
Leila says
Ha, Caroline! My whole blog is about this very thing!!