It's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't lived through it just how hard it is to keep house with a lot of kids.
Whereas kids… kids don't just want to do one thing, or two things. Their little minds are firing off in a million directions. They exude dirt and trash. And two kids together make four times as much mess as one, but not because you multiplied — because it's exponential.
Which means that three kids make nine times as much mess…
…so really, if you have six kids, they are making 36 times more mess than one kid!!
Which is why I quickly learned that my small-family deep- and moderate-cleaning skills were not enough. And, as I told you, having a lot of kids actually made me forget any attributes I had acquired — my brain literally became paralyzed from the necessity of feeding, teaching, and, in fact, defending myself against all my kids, whom, nonetheless, I loved very much; and I really did just forget how to deep clean a room until another person physically demonstrated to me what was required.
No, you need the Blitz.
The blitz enables you to live a real life with the sure knowledge that you can whip things into shape in 15 minutes.
There are two optimum times for the Blitz.
First, after breakfast and before schooling starts — or you leave the house for the day — or otherwise start in your various activities. It's just much nicer to know that you have a clean slate.
Second, the hours between 4 and 6 pm, or whenever meltdown coincides with Dad's return from work.
I mean, just before that point. You will be amazed at how much better you can handle the end of the day if you can rely on your gang to straighten up. (If you don't have a gang yet, train yourself in these techniques because you really want to know that you are up to the job yourself.)
So yes, you will blitz every day. Were you wondering how, if you devoted, let's say, four days a week to the 20 minute Moderate Clean, would the rest of your house stay reasonable? If you are getting one zone (upstairs, for example) in order, what happens to the downstairs?
What happens is the Blitz.
To implement, you have to have the kids on your side. (This is still not the kids' chores post, by the way.)
They have to believe that this is all great fun. They have to understand that we're all in this together and our environment matters.
{Yet, at the same time, there has to be an undercurrent of real danger. Somewhere in there they have to believe that if they aren't going to pitch in, bad things will happen to them. Punishment must loom.}
Get a timer.
The best of all is if there is a TV program they really want to watch that comes on at a certain time, and yes, I heartily endorse TV and especially cable. Reruns of old Laverne and Shirley shows were my friend. Those fun episodes came on at 5 pm, and let me tell you, from 4:45 to 4:59 never was such activity to be seen in my house — and never was half an hour better earned or better timed for maximum pre-dinner efficiency on my part. One little measly half an hour isn't too much to pay for peace and even a kind of cultural literacy, if you look at it in a certain twisted light. Just put them on their honor to mute the commercials and you are all set.
The promise of a chapter of Little House on the Prairie works too, but just not with that fine sense of a deadline that a TV show brings. And you will cheat and make them do more than 15 minutes, which isn't fair.
A timer will do, however.
Then we have bribery, a perfectly useful and acceptable tool in parenting, also known as positive conditioning.
Show coming on? Want a snack? Blitz the den. (I use “den” as a handy term for any room currently in a shambles. By all means, apply to the kitchen, the dining room/race track, etc.)
Want to play with your Legos? Blitz the den.
And of course, if you don't participate cheerfully in the blitz, you little pissant, you can go sit by yourself far away while the rest of us have a great time with —
— loud music.
Loud fun rollicking music. Look these up on Grooveshark:
Old time rock ‘n roll: try almost anything from Little Richard.
Fiddling: an upbeat tune from Natalie MacMaster.
Bluegrass: If Wishes Were Horses (possibly the best song ever, as heard on the O Sisters CD).
Tritsche-Tratshe Polka with Maurice Andre, trumpet master.
Choo Choo Ch'Boogie by the Manhattan Transfer.
Many Disney songs — the best are from Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, and how about I Wanna Be Like You from The Jungle Book?
Admit it — you feel like getting something done now, don't you!
In the true blitz, you limit yourselves to one room (or two if you have enough workers for teams, or whatever you can handle in the 15 minutes).
Your aim is not so much to clean…
… as to give the appearance of clean.
Go around the edges and from the edges to the center, as always.
Divide and conquer. Depending on your work force, assign picker-uppers for each category: toys, books, papers, crayons, random socks.
{Severely punish sock-strewers — there is no excuse and zero tolerance. You take a sock off, you put it in the hamper. To quote myself:
If a person leaves a sock in the den that person should be made to windex the windows as high as he can reach, since you know darn well that the same exact person has been wiping his grubby fingers on said windows. If a repeat offender, they should also match socks during the show.}
Assign a runner — but remember, only one person should leave the room in question at a time, lest they find some game to play elsewhere. It's all too easy to forget about children who are not underfoot…
Assign a small person to look under furniture for stuff. Finders can put everything on the coffee table or just in the middle of the room. Putter-awayers can put away.
Put any throw pillows in place, neaten horizontal surfaces, take dishes into the kitchen (although it's strictly forbidden to eat anywhere else!!), make sure things aren't thrown into corners and around the periphery.
Now is not the time for dusting, and anyway there shouldn't be much dust because a hard-use room has to be sparkle-and-shined at least once a week. But if there seems to be some (imagine!), wipe it with your apron or blow it away (little-known fact from Auntie Leila's dark side: I often clean my little cluttered computer desk that way, by blowing on it!).
Lastly, sweep or vacuum the room (a task well within the capabilities of an 8-year-old), but only the parts that you can see — for instance, the rug.
And ladies, put away or train children to put away the vacuum cleaner!
Nothing says “cleaning fail” like a vacuum left out. You don't store it out, do you? It simply has to have a place to be hidden away, even if it means hanging a curtain from a shelf and sticking it behind there. They should learn to put it away without banging into the woodwork.
Now, the well trained household can accomplish the blitz without you (note, not the deep clean, or even sparkle and shine — they might be able to do it once, but not twice in a row), IF and only IF you've drilled them in starting with making sure corners are cleared.
Otherwise, they will quickly catch on to the Pseudo-Blitz, which involves shoving everything away from the center of the room into the corners — a bona fide housekeeping disaster. Everyone needs to learn that the room can't even pretend to be clean until the edges are at least clutter-free.
Then all you have to do is inspect! Don't let them turn on the TV or get out their extra-zowie-tiny-pieces-of-death super construction toys without making them do it right!
Tell us your favorite music to clean to in the comments!
Jennie and Adam says
I cannot tell you how thoroughly I enjoyed this post. I have four children, thus far, and I completely understand the exponential factor! The Blitz is brilliant and I'm sure it will keep me from delivering a few lectures about how I'm not the only one who lives in the house and so I'm not the only one who should tidy it up!
Emily (Laundry and L says
I love the atmosphere of "gaity charged with peril" – that gave me a really good laugh this morning. 🙂 My kids absolutely LOVE to play an educational computer game called Starfall. We do our version of a morning blitz (which, by the way, I learned from my mother) with the promise of starfall. If they cooperate, yay starfall! If not, they have to sit in their room while the cooperative child plays. 🙂 This works SO well I've started loving my mornings!
Sarah says
Excellent, as always. I so enjoy your down-to-earth posts! Thanks for "keeping it real" =)I'm expecting my 6th child in Dec., so I already know about the exponential factor with five little ones. But when I read 36 times messier with 6 children, I got quite nervous … We are starting to incorporate a type-of blitz into our summer schedule: once before lunch and once before dinner. I like the idea of adding music, too.
Barb says
Oh, my goodness, I wish I lived closer! I always feel like I'm defending myself against my kids! I absolutely love this post!Yes, absolutely on the gaiety mixed with peril. It almost always works to have that incentive at the back end – you get to watch PBS Sprout if you clean up one "hard toy," i.e. a toy with a million pieces like Legos. I'm training my dh to do this. I keep telling him that it's not his job to clean up the toys; make the kids do the work.One quick question, Auntie Leila, if you have children who don't turn their socks inside out or their shorts or underwear, do you corral the offending pieces of clothing in a basket, after giving a warning about it, until the parties involved learn to turn their clothes the right way out? Turning clothes the right way out is the bane of my existence and I think I'm being too easy on the kids by doing it myself.
Tyne says
Thanks so much! What a fantastic post. I have four children, 5, 3, 2, and 1 y.o. and when I try to clean they are in a constant state of uncleaning. Yesterday I wasn't following the "blitz" rules and was in deep clean mode on a particular bedroom that will soon host guests. Next thing I knew the bedroom that I had left them in to play was in complete disarray! Wow. It was bad- and I was so discouraged b/c I had been working so hard to clean.
Robin says
–I'm just basking in the wisdom and delightful prose of this post.–"gaiety charged with peril" indeed. I love my timer.
Anonymous says
"And two kids together make four times as much mess as one, but not because you multiplied — because it's exponential."My dad lived for several years with my great uncle, who had two sons the same age as my dad. my dad likes to quote my Uncle Bud as having said (on more that one occasion) with regards to the amount of work the boys would accomplish, "One boy is one boy; two boys is half a boy; and three boys is no boys!" Hmmmmm…Robin in Ca
mel says
teehee…I love the term "pseudo-blitz". I have to deal with those a *lot*. My daughter, 13yo and otherwise very helpful, has a recurring problem with her room. Not too long ago made her do a deep clean in there, and I pointed out to her yesterday how it was slipping around the edges, just as you mentioned. The middle is clean. But the edges…all around the periphery of the room…is slipping. And since she is supposed to make sure her room is clean every evening, she has obviously be pseudo-blitzing in there.
beckygiggles says
Love the song you posted!!!! Please, more playlists. I need this kind of music in my life. I think I could even clean the bathroom with that playing in the background.
Leila says
Barb — yes, by all means! I'm afraid that folding it inside out won't work — I really believe they will wear it inside out without noticing!! My OCD can't take it ;)But if you politely ask them to do the turning and explain why ("If you turn your undershirt as you take it off, it takes you 2 seconds, but it takes Mommy 3 hours to turn all the inside out things in the basket"), I think that's fine. Then remind them as they take the things out.Sigh.I re-posted the song in case some of you couldn't see it. Let me know if it's not working!
Mama Hen says
I love this post!! I have been a struggling medoicare homemaker for 15 years now. I have four children and things are so much better than they were. We do our zones and chores before homeschool in the morning, but as we are home all day, by 5 pm it needs it again. We have a "Five O Clock Pick-up" in which everyone comes inside and cleans before dad gets home. It works wonders!
Dawn says
I love your housecleaning posts! They crack me up!
Anonymous says
Great post. Aretha Franklin and Be Good Tanyas are my favourite cleaning music without the kids. With the kids, Pandora's "Raffi"-children's music is pretty bearable. We are so against cable, here- I figure that a day without the idiot box is a success, even if not a whole lot of book work happened. 🙂 I am a toy-rotator, and my kids get so excited with the rare Mary Poppins– simple pleasures, here. Maybe when the kids get older we'll get some Laverne and Shirley on dvd. 🙂 Maybe. -Faith
Jamie says
I always learn something new! The pseudo-blitz. Very interesting. Never thought of it that way, but it is true. I also never thought to teach the kids to focus on the edges and work their way in. Also I wanted to share that I read the book you recommended, Don Aslett's There's Life After Housework. I got some good "method" tips from it so thanks. Also I am reading Sandra Felton's Organizing for Life and she said something that hit me over the head like a hammer. She said the average successful homemaker focuses on wanting a home that looks nice, whereas the average "messie" focuses on wanting the home to work better. She says the desire for beauty is stronger than the desire for efficiency and that the person who wants a nice home will ultimately have a home that also works better. This was like a HUGE REVELATION to me since I have always equated wanting something to be beautiful for beauty's sake as being vain or an undesirable quality. But her words helped me to understand that wanting a nice home, a "pretty" home is not a bad thing. I feel like you and other writers like you are helping me to tap into the feminine side of myself that was always pushed away by my workaholic, horrible housekeeper, tv dinners, poorly dressed mom. It's not her fault, she's a good person. Just a product of a time where it was more admirable to "do anything a man can do!"
Anonymous says
I typed up a long response and google erased it! Here's the short version….THANK YOU for this post. I know no one else local who has a house full of kids and these same experiences. It is so nice to know I'm not alone….I too have issues of all 5 boys and husband taking their socks off inside out and throwing them in the wash piles…I have made them turn them all right side out at times…but they continue to do this…socks don't come very clean inside out and it takes about 20-30 min for me to turn them all myself before the wash….ugh.Taryn (mom to 5 tazmanian devils)
Freckled Hen says
This is the type of cleaning that works well for us. It creates an energy all its own.Thanks for sharing! And for the record…I cannot stand when my kids take their socks off in the den or porch or hallway outside the bathroom or living room or under the table or in the car.
MomCO3 says
I loved this post! And the song is currently playing… so, before I go blitz, I'll share that we like to clean to soundtracks. Mamma Mia (really loud). Or In the Heights (really loud). Or Madagascar 2 (really, really loud.)
Betsy says
I was watching my friend's kids today and needless to say I could supply you with some "before" pictures to add to this post! I implimented a trick for my outdoor toys that is similar to the blitz. We pretend that a big storm is coming every night and any toys not put away get blow (taken)away in the storm (Mom). Now to use your method inside on every room in my house before company comes tomorrow. Thanks for the inspiration. Oh and thanks for the music ideas. I don't play any currently as my three little girls think that music on means you get to pull out dance costumes and dance. Maybe we need some cleaning only music?
Andrea says
I read every post, and really enjoy each one! I just had to tell you how much I liked this one today though!Also…I'm glad to hear that bribery is a *good* parenting tool, since I use it ALL the time! hehe
HollyElise says
Cleaning music – I like musical soundtracks. "Hairspray" while I'm folding laundry (yes, there is a bit of irony there since Edna is a laundress), "Rent" or "Bride and Prejudice" while I'm cleaning the kitchen and living area (studio apartment) and "Moulin Rouge" when I clean the bathroom.Anything upbeat and easy to sing with!
Anne R Triolo says
Lol! I was reading this to myself and ended up reading it outloud to John. So funny! We laughed a lot. It reminded me of my childhood. Thanks!
Sue says
My favorite part: "Yet, at the same time, there has to be an undercurrent of real danger. Somewhere in there they have to believe that if they aren't going to pitch in, bad things will happen to them. Punishment must loom." 😀 So true, so true.The photos of Bridget make me want to enroll my children in violin lessons immediately. Lovely!
Anonymous says
I loved this post and all of the housekeeping posts. I wish I would have had more help earlier in my married life! (22 years now)My boys and husband were forever leaving their socks inside out. You know the story. Finally, I said I would pay them one dollar each time I did the white laundry – could be twice a week, if all of their socks were turned the right way. I was mostly amazed at my husband who wanted his dollar! When they got really good at it, I stopped paying. It took about 2-3 months. After about 3 or 4 years now, I am starting to see some more slipping, especially the college son home for the summer. This post has made me think I need to start it again. After all, they all can use some extra cash!Cary
Pippajo says
I didn't realize that I'd been Blitzing until I read this post! Fancy that! Here, we call it a Sweep or Sweep Through. And I often put specifics on a piece of paper for them so I'm not having to stop and say, "Wait, grab that sock (what is it about the socks???)…no, you forgot that pile of legos under the piano bench…moving it from one place it does not belong to another place it does not belong does not constitute tidying…do not put that on the stairs!" They will try to weasel out of anything.With Man-Cub it's legos and matchbox cars. With Redheaded Snippet it's articles of clothing and hair accessories. The Viking has an absentminded way of strewing anything and everything all over the house into the oddest places. If we didn't Blitz every day we'd be trapped in our house within a week!When you've finished all these housecleaning posts, I'm really hoping there will be a schedule and chart! I love visual aids!
Breanna says
"Happy Working Song" from Enchanted:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb2si7fClqAOtherwise, the 80s channel on the satellite radio. :)I add one more blitz–the after-breakfast and pre-Daddy-arriving-home ones are necessary, yes, but with my two I find I also have to do one at bedtime. (Usually after they're asleep.) Otherwise it's too depressing in the morning…
Breanna says
Oh, and P.S. – I always swore to myself that when I had my OWN house (this is at about age 14) I would NEVER turn my socks right side out. I hate putting my hand into a sweaty sock to pull it right side out.And you know what? I don't. I slip the sock off to my heel, and pull it off by the toe, so it stays right side out. Both kids, so far, take their socks off this way. I didn't train them on purpose, but you could, I suppose. 😉
Jen says
I've been reading for a while but never commented before. I just want to thank you for giving such practical advice in a tenor that makes it obvious that you really HAVE been there, done that, and figured it out! I appreciate the can-do spirit and positive message.As a mom of a 2 year old and a recently mobile baby, I'm just starting to get my own view of the exponential mess and this was a timely reminder to stay on top of it.I'm eagerly awaiting your post on teaching children (especially very young ones!) to help clean.
Sleen says
I just found your blog (LOVE IT) and I have to say, I haven't heard anyone use the term "pissant" since my Mom passed away (too early!) 14 years ago. It put a smile on my face!Favorite song to blitz to is "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies. Anything from their kids' album, "Snacktime" is also great.
Lindsey in AL says
Prince! Let's Go Crazy, 1999, and then Let's Go Crazy again 🙂 It's what I remember cleaning to with my mom back in the 80s. I also use my own breath to clean my computer desk and sometimes my sewing desk. It works.
Anonymous says
Oh, I LOVE the Blitz. I do this all the time but didn't have a name for it. Thank you, Leila. Your posts are so encouraging. PS I tend to do high energy cleaning, like the Blitz, to music by Twila Paris or Keith Green (lots of upbeat rhythms). Deep cleans and sparkle and shine cleans are accompanied by opera. :)Joy
Elizabeth Nichols says
Annie told me that I had to catch up because this post was funny, and she was right! I was laughing out loud. I also appreciate that you let us know that there is iced tea in each picture. We call the blitz, our game: put your crap where it goes. We named it such prior to baby Max, so now I intend to switch the the family friendly "blitz". Cleaning music: Beatles, Beach Boys,the Cars soundtrack…I realized when I pregnant that about 2/3 of my pretty tame music collection isn't so tame when I consider that a child might be repeating the lyrics. Since when did country music get so…iffy?
Anna says
The Pseudo-Blitz??? You caught me! At least it is better than the shove-and-hide.
JJ says
Oh I love you!
Mrs.B says
:)Mother of five right here….:)!
Gale says
I am loving your posts about cleaning. Most things I read about cleaning either make me feel depressed or angry. Your post made me feel hopeful! We've done blitzes before but I never thought of doing them daily. Got a couple questions…two out of three of my kids do go to school. So, how long should I wait after they get home to do the blitz? I want to give them time to get a snack, talk about their day, and chill…but don't want to wait to long so they'll be out the door before I can do it.And, I'm thinking I'm gonna do a treat of some type afterwards (ice cream or video games or something) and make a 1-2-3 rule for whining and lolligagging, where if they're caught doing any of those three times during the blitz they sit out for the rest of it, miss the treat, and have to spend an extra 10 minutes sitting on their bed. Cause in past blitzes one child often got stuck with all the work becuase the other was going slow as molassus–and me harping on them didn't add to a "fun environment".
Tonya says
I just found this post today…I don't know how or why, but you had me at socks…lol. My son is infamous for taking his socks off and leaving them everywhere! My grandmom even found a pile tucked in my loveseat while she was visiting one day. How embarassing!I found that taking away one day of video games for every sock elminates the problem rather quickly especially since he is only allowed to play on the weekends. A moms gotta do what a moms gotta do! Love your blog!
Christie says
At 5:30 we set the table for dinner and do a 15 min fire drill on the first floor before Daddy comes home and dinner is at 6.Assigning children by area (you and your brother clean up the fire engine rug, you and your sister pick up the floor in the den etc.) works well. I also make my five year old the "inspector". He stands at the front door and tells me (while I am finishing up dinner etc. in the kitchen…no line of sight in this house at all…that's another subject) what needs time and attention. His older brother and sister know he gets my support so they listen without getting snippy and his younger brothers just adore him so they listen too. He is young enough to love the inspector job without being too old to handle it without lording it over the others. He also has to continue working and showing the other kids what needs to be done. "That's what big brother's who are five do."Love the concept of a deep clean and a sparkle and shine and a blitz. One hour each day. Sigh. I suppose I can muster the self-discipline to get on task. We need it! Baby number six due in August!! 36 times the mess seems like a low number. 🙂
Fiddlemom says
I'm late to this party, but anything by John Phillips Sousa is excellent to clean to. We have also allowed the Cook's Helper of the week (I rotate every week) to choose the music, subject to my approval.I think my mistake perhaps has been attempting to hit the whole house every evening. I shall try this method and see if it works better.
Lindsey says
We have four children, six years and under. We often turn on William Tell Overture, the 10 minute version, while we Blitz. We HAVE to be done and all sitting on the couch before the song is over. The kids think it is awesome, and I never have any complaints in blitzing our house (our house is small, so we do the whole house blitz in these 10 minutes). Thanks for the encouragement and for the good laugh!
Ann says
Love it!!! I found y our blog whilst Googling how to stage a home to sell when you have a large (homeschooling) family. We have 8 children – 7 at home – and have decided to sell our 3 bedroom home. To say that we are intimidated by this task is an understatement. I am going back to read the staging post now, but clicked from a link to this blitz post because I had to know your technique. We do this too, but not nearly as often as we should, and not all of the kids are as willing and able to do what needs done as they are ages 1, 3 and 5. We are working on it! Thanks for a very entertaining and inspiring post!! Now back to the staging one!
Leila says
Welcome, Ann!
With children so little, sometimes you are going to have to sideline them 🙂
I liked getting mine to “clean the car” (during the baby’s nap) — gets them out of the way and can’t be worse for the car than doing nothing!
Happy staging!
Carrie says
I’m so glad I’m not the only one finding socks in odd places! I found my son’s (who really does know better!) dirty! socks on the kitchen counter by the coffee pot the other day….🙄
Nicole Cox says
I’m re-reading your Reasonably Clean series because my much-saved-for and now relied-upon-cleaning lady is absent in the face of COVID-19. 😛 It’s not so much that I dislike cleaning, I actually enjoy it to some extent, but oh my goodness, the turnover from “yay, clean!” to “OMG why is it a warzone in here again?!” feels soooo fast, with 4 children ages 7, 5.5, 4, 20 months. My amazing husband insisted we would find a way to pay for a 2x/month housecleaner so that I could focus on the daily blitz, laundry, cooking/cleaning kitchen this year, when we also added in homeschooling. It has (had!) been a blessing especially because it really *forces* us to deeply de-clutter every room and every surface on the 2 Wednesdays she came. (also, way way easier to say, ” YoU NEED TO CLEAN THAT UP, the CLEANING LADIES are coming!” It seemed so much more dire than just, I, mom want you to clean that up. LOL.)
But now we’re back to square one, and here’s my question for “blitzing”…when everyone is basically under the age of reason (and other than my very dutiful 7-YO daughter, that’s everyone!), what are strategies for blitzing without losing one’s mind and needing to go to confession the next day? Lol, we just have so many nights of yelling over and over at (mostly) the 5 and 4 year old for being totally useless with pick-up, and knowing they made 90% of the day’s messes. The 20 month old is obviously the x-factor and we’re trying to drill into the kids that everyone cleans up after the baby of the house! It’s been hard transitioning from hubby and me doing all the clutter pick up when everyone was 3 under 3, to now having children who really ought to be able to pick up their stuff, and the baby’s messes too, but not knowing how much adult direction/oversight they need. (The oldest 3 are 15 and then 19 months apart, so sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking the 4 YO can do whatever the 7YO can, or v/v…it’s tricky to keep in mind appropriate ages/stages for my expectations!)
Leila says
Nicole, the most important strategy is to confine and corral! (look up that post) Then, put most of the toys up so that only a small portion can ever be out at a time. Yes, the 20 mo is the criminal in this scenario — and for this stage, after you’ve removed the really hopeless-mess-making toys, you just live with some messiness for a while.
Employ the limited-time cleanup just after lunch, before rest, and just before supper (or just after — you have to play this by ear to see what they have energy for, being fed or unfed).
Go back through the posts — it’s all there. Blitz + maybe Moderate Clean, say Mondays and Fridays. Divide by zones. Don’t let them rampage through the whole house!
Hang in there!