I said there would be a hiatus, and the trouble with those is that it's hard to come back! For one thing, the dumb platform is so hi-tech and they've improved things so much that getting a picture up here is like swapping out discs back in the 90s. Dial-up was faster. Not sure how upgrades can be so very… thwarting, but there it is.
For another, over the weeks I've thought about so many topics and answered so many questions via email that I have more to say than can be popped into a snappy blog post, especially one where I have to add these important photos:
I'm working with cell phone pictures here, not my own!
This is our Will, our sixth child, third boy, marrying his sweet Jaime:
Here, these are sharper:
Isn't that wonderful?
We couldn't be happier to welcome dear Jaime and to rejoice with Will, almost the baby of the family — now a married man!
Besides wedding joy and an extended family vacation in Maine (totally not pictured), I have been spending all day every day in the garden — it's officially an obsession, one that also has an element of a race against time and impending heat.
Here in New England it's a mad rush from “it could snow in May” to “that was the Solstice, mate” — from hope for all the green growing possibilities to a philosophical resignation for this year's realities.
I'm quite pleased with my decision to use my propane torch on the weeds in these bricks. My hands are now officially too arthritic to go through the work of pulling them, not to mention kneeling out there in the heat. I mean, I bought the torch to attack the weeds. But I was reluctant to use it here because I didn't want to kill the moss along with the crabgrass. I think it's going to be okay.
One of the events during my blog hiatus was the Supreme Court Dobbs decision — I must say something about it! I am almost frozen in disbelief that Roe and Casey were overturned. My whole adult life has been spent in what I thought was a quixotic, hopeless effort to achieve this aim — from, of course, the position of someone who could do very little.
For those who want not only to raise children in a healthy environment but, in some way however small, effect change in the sorry situation out in the world, this ruling is a great opportunity and gift, so much more than we ever hoped for. I will try briefly to explain why.
For too long, our attention and energy has been sucked away in federal matters, including the biennial election cycles, as we focused on the desperate need to fight for the unborn. But when we think about the principle of subsidiarity — and indeed the multi-layered system of government that our land has been blessed with — we realize that the further away from home decisions are made, the less we are able to influence them.
The reasoning of the Dobbs case in returning the matter to the states helps us make better use of our time. For some of us (not the Lawlers, alas, here in Massachusetts), this means being relieved of the urgent necessity to be active in this particular case. Since there are many other urgent political fights, activity can be directed towards them.
For others, extreme and unbridled abortion laws now kick into effect, and those definitely need to be fought. Incumbent politicians need to lose when new and better ones take their place. Laws need to be made to protect the unborn. But all that mental effort, all the campaigning and working for bills, all of becomes much more effective, the closer to home it gets. We can make so much more of a difference in a state race than a federal one. We can be heard when the forum is in our city or town. The state house is not that far away from us, wherever we live.
And that should be heartening. It's always a good thing to be reminded of the paradox that the littler a sphere is, the more we should be devoted to it. In many ways, I think a lot of us have been overwhelmed by the seemingly exponential growth of the power of evil in our society. Wrong ideas and terrible actions, aggressive symbols and deafening noise loom over us.
We should never lose sight of the goodness that comes of living well — of marrying, loving our spouse with a cheerful heart, having children, making a beautiful — if humble — home, making a place in our home to remind us to pray, singing songs together, having friends over for a bonfire, and in general enjoying the good things God has given us, with gratitude.
That gratitude radiates outwards to the land. Without this inner life of peace and rest, we cannot be effective in the world. Sometimes we fall into the trap of thinking that when bad things are going on, it's somehow sinful to be happy.
I think the benefit, the providential meaning, of this particular ruling for those of us who have been absorbed in the battle for so long, is to restrict the scope of our activism back to where it ought to be: in our neighborhood, town, and state. It's a first step to recovering our place. Resist the entrenched institutions that want to keep hold of your attention out in the furthest level, the one that you can do little about. Embrace the opportunity to come back where you belong — home.
bits & pieces
- John Cuddeback on making time for the little things so we can raise our children like The Little Prince.
- The arguments against abortion are in natural law, but Scripture testifies also. (Contrary to what some say!)
- One fight that needs to happen: stop the mutilation of our children's bodies
- The Magic of the Altar Rail
- I had a conversation with Eric Sammons about the baby formula shortage — and the deeper reasons our country is so dependent on formula in the first place.
- I have a new podcast of my own on The Center for the Restoration of Christian Culture, but it hasn't been released yet. It will be short and sweet — a reprise of my “Beauty Will Save the Neighborhood” post, which I just had to do as I noticed yard signs going from vague to outright scary. I will update this post with the information and then perhaps you can share it with someone who isn't into blogs!
- One of the best short responses to Dobbs, by Suzan Sammons: Covid Jabs Revealed Hidden Pro-life Heroes
- Another, taking on the wishy-washy Christians who argue illogically, by Leila Miller: It was Never about Just Hearts and Minds
- Let's be honest: Peter Hitchens: Our selfish dismantling of marriage has left children in a lonely Dickensian hell
- I'm making bacon. I'll tell you how it works — you tell me how yours works! This project sent e down a ridiculous rabbit hole involving me dehydrating celery so I could make powder of it and use that instead of pink salt (both powder and salt are unavailable in my area and I needed one of them STAT).
from the archives
- Math goals for your youngster (an example of what became a chapter in my book!)
- But never mind, do give your children an old-fashioned summer! (Also a chapter in my book!)
liturgical living
Roman martyrs — and in the Traditional Roman calendar, The Visitation.
follow us everywhere!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available now from Sophia Press! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My new podcast can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email. In the current situation, if we can’t meet here, it would be good for us to be connected by email!
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest (you can still get a lot of inspiration here! and say a prayer for her!). Bridget’s Pinterest.
Lisa G. says
What a pretty dress you are wearing! Lovely. Congratulations to the newlyweds.
Leila says
Thank you!
Debbie Guidry says
I’ve missed you! Glad you are back!
Leila says
Thanks!
Emily says
We in Ohio are blessed indeed with our heartbeat law, and what a blessing it is! I heard the Dobbs decision when I was surrounded by five children and I have to say it was the best possible atmosphere all day as we celebrated, especially given that the mother of those children is carrying her sixth!
Leila says
Congratulations on a good law!
Elizabeth says
Congratulations on the new marriage! I am a newlywed of two weeks and just thrilled. I’ve been reading your blog for a long time Auntie Leila and the first thing I did in our new home was set up the master bedroom (humble on our air mattress for now—we haven’t had time to research the important decision of buying a mattress yet) and set a pretty dinner table. Thank you for all your wisdom here on the blog and in your books, which I’ve been tucking away and pondering all these years!
One quick question. My husband surprised me with a new washer, but we don’t have a dryer yet. I’ve been drying on a make shift clothesline, which I love. Do I need to be worried about clothes fading?
Shari says
Hi! Congratulations on your wedding! I hope you don’t mind me replying but I live in New Zealand where line drying laundry is still very much the norm and we have very strong sun! I haven’t heard of serious issues of fading clothes but line drying is very effective for brightening sheets, cloth diapers and lessening marks on children’s t shirts. I guess if you are still concerned you would do the washing and hang outside as one of the first chores of the day and the clothes brought in as soon as you can before the real heat of the afternoon. Of course you may well know this.
Some friends do the washing in the evening in summer, hang over night and bring in mid morning.
Victoria says
Yes, I second indoor drying racks. The folding, drying rack is part of the norm in Europe. Mine gets a lot of use during winter for things like coats, snow pants, boots, etc. I have one of those space heaters that blows heat around the room, so I point it at the rack, and the kids can go back out in the snow after a couple of hours, usually. They are also nice in the summer for kids who need to hang swim suits and towels. 🙂
Leila says
Thank you and congratulations!
There are some articles of clothing that will fade, and you can tell which ones they are — they would also fade in a dryer!
The solution is to have a small possibly folding indoor drying rack for these things. There will always be a few things that you just want to pop onto that rack, all through the year, including one or two heavy items that didn’t quite dry out on the line!
Sarah says
I hang the laundry I don’t want to fade inside out. And also don’t let it hang longer than it needs to dry.
Samantha says
Homemade bacon is a life changer!!! 😉 It’s so good you don’t want to use the pink salt. It’s one of those lost arts we need to get back and it’s not dangerous if done properly.
We made some with just Himalayan salt and sugar and spices last year. Though, we did utilize a pellet smoker. We’ve finally eaten it all so we will start another batch soon!
Leila says
Did you find that your bacon doesn’t have an appetizing color? I decided to use celery powder, which basically provides the sodium nitrite, to preserve the color and add flavor. The article I linked explains things…
I am looking forward to smoking the piece I am curing — Deirdre and John thrifted a smoker!
Samantha says
I didn’t find it unappetizing at all! It definitely looks different from store bought, being less pink(but still a little pink) however it smells and tastes heavenly! I read the article and I think it’s probably just personal preference on the area of pinkness causing it to be appetizing or not 🙂 all my kids love it which is a miracle …haha. I hope yours turns out great!! It’s so fun making your own meat items. Wow, that’s awesome they thrifted a smoker!!
Leila says
Thanks for telling me your experience. It’s like working in the dark haha… with a big piece of meat!
It was awesome — they bought a grill on marketplace and the guy threw the smoker in the deal! Life goals!!
Kari Brane says
I live in NM where, unfortunately, the Dobbs decision has done nothing but cause the pro-abortion voices to get louder and “laud” or state as a place to come if you live in a state like Texas that believes babies should live.
As far as formula, I am one of those who cannot physically breastfeed and will tell you that another reason for the dependence on formula is WIC. They absolutely support breastfeeding, but if you’re on formula, they pay for it, and not the expensive, make your own kind.
Leila says
Kari, I relate, because MA is obviously extremely liberal. However, I want to reiterate my point: it’s better to have the problems on a more local level than the federal one. Your efforts and mine here will mean more. We can talk to our neighbors. We don’t have to give up every time there is a presidential election, knowing our vote simply doesn’t do anything. So while it seems worse, it’s actually better.
As for breastfeeding, Eric and I discuss this at length in the podcast — women who physically cannot. Truth is, if formula feeding weren’t so pervasive, those who need formula would have it. It’s also indicative of a problem (which we discuss) that there are only a few companies making it with FDA approval.
Kari Brane says
Exactly!
Emily says
If it makes you feel better, I’m here in NM, too. So there’s at least 2 of us to start working in our state’s respect for life!
Murielle says
I’m also in NM and I have quite a few pro-life friends here in Gallup! One of them is a mom of 6 and her husband is running for Attorney General. His name is Jeremy Gay and they are a devout Catholic and pro-life family!
Kay says
I find your content refreshing. Someone who is not afraid to speak for the unborn! I love the old-fashioned homemaking life that you share, the beauty and the ordinary and the holy.
Leila says
Thank you! Thanks for visiting and reading!
Alice says
First, congratulations to the newlyweds! And thank you for sharing the the lovely photos.
Thank you also for linking the article on the magic of the altar rail. I have seen this idea in action because we attended the mentioned parish, St. Veronica, from whenever it was that in-person mass became a thing again, up until we moved out of the area a few months ago. It’s surprisingly beautiful for such a newly constructed church, and it does have an altar rail that was not used when we first began attending. As we began to emerge from pandemic protocols, however, the priest announced that we would begin actually using the altar rail. I mistakenly thought that this was a return to pre-pandemic practice, though the 2019 article would indicate otherwise.
Nevertheless, I always saw many more people receiving on the tongue at St. Veronica than at our previous, less traditional parish, but I do think this number increased with the use of the altar rail. I had received on the tongue since we arrived at St. Veronica and saw some others doing it (cowardly herd animal over here) but I also felt much more comfortable receiving in that way while kneeling, facing the altar, not on full display to everyone still in the pews, while I wrangle a toddler, thank you very much. An aspect of the whole thing I hadn’t considered until I had the opportunity to try it myself.
Lisa G. says
We are fortunate at our parish – there is a prie dieu placed next to Father. It’s there almost all the time, and those who want to kneel for Communion can do so. Years ago, just going down and getting up without holding onto anything was possible for me, but now……….. 🙁
Katie says
Glad to see you back! Congrats to the newlyweds and you look beautiful in your dress. I am wondering if you know if there are still St. Gregory’s Pockets happening? I couldn’t find anything on facebook and am moving to a new place far away from friends and am looking for like minded friends to do life with. Thanks for all you do and inspire.
Leila says
Thanks, Katie!
I don’t know about the Pockets — we just sort of provide a template and then have nothing to do with them.
But I encourage you to start one if you don’t see one on our list (look up in the menu bar). Send me the info and I will get the word out.
Or email me and I will see what I can do to connect you where you are going!
Sarah says
Congratulations on the wedding! What a lovely mother of the groom
dress, Leila. Was it thrifted or can you tell us where you bought it? Thanks!
Leila says
Thank you, Sarah!
I got the dress from eShakti. I got the rehearsal dinner one there too! Very affordable and great fun to change the details to suit me. I will say that with this black dress the fit was not correct (even though I had it customized) and a friend had to rescue me (and she did an amazing job!). Even though I am pretty good at alterations, I was stumped, as this dress has a lot of structure to it internally (with stays sewn in quite firmly!).
I would say that if you order from them — and you should! they are in India! — leave plenty of time.
Lucy says
Dear Auntie Leila,
I too rejoiced at the Dobbs decision. I made donations to pro-life outreach and re-read some of your other writings about building a culture of chastity.
Perhaps by now you have seen the headlines about a few girls (ages 10-11) who are being denied abortions in their home states. What does one say to the opposition about these situations? My heart breaks for the child-mother and also the child in the womb.
Leila says
I haven’t seen those headlines but I don’t doubt they exist. First, whenever some extreme case conveniently arises (and this is super extreme), it’s wise to question whether it’s true. The past two years have shown us what we knew vaguely for a long time, that sometimes these stories are simply not true.
Second, there is a baby. We must save both. And it’s time to ask how it is that it can be so frequent that such young girls are getting pregnant. We know that legal abortion enables statutory rape and incest. David Daleiden’s group The Center for Medical Progress has documented this reality. We also know that our culture is hyper-sexualized and young children are the victims.
I would call for anyone deploring this situation to move quickly to protect young girls from predation and from sexual activity. The most important factor is fathers. Is everyone working to reinstitute marriage in our society and to value the role of fathers?
Finally, any girl who cannot marry the father of the child (in this case, because of her extreme youth) should be helped to pass her pregnancy safely in an atmosphere of love and care, and to place the child for adoption with a loving family. If the girl herself is not safe, it’s the duty of Christians to provide a safe home for her.
In no scenario does killing her unborn child solve any problem! It only makes things worse for the baby, for her, and for future vulnerable girls!
Ellen says
Yes! Exactly! Do the hard thing and get the dad to step it up!
Diana says
So glad to have you back! Congratulations on the wedding!!
Your blog is such an encouragement to me – I appreciate every post.
Leila says
Thank you!
Gina says
Congratulations, Auntie Leila! May their marriage be a beautiful and joyous union. Thank you for sharing the wedding photos. It is so nice to have you back with us. I wanted to pop in and say how happy I am that I purchased “The Summa Domestica.” I have a first edition, which I dearly love. Guess what? They have a new purpose for me. They are my Summer Homeschool Conference. Allow me to explain. Every summer I relished going to my Immaculate Heart of Mary Homeschool conference near Fort Worth. Just being around other curious homeschool families, and listening to speakers, always left me feeling refueled and rejuvenated for the next school year. Those conferences ceased, with almost no hope of return. Other groups now have “online conferences,” but I found that online conferences do not yield the same kinds of quiet conversations that I crave. Truly, I miss the experience. Last week, I pulled out my Summa book on Education, and began reading it straight through to implement some new strategies in my in home. Just when I needed the fuel, the Holy Spirit provided. Your “Summa” confirms in me that my vocation to homeschool is a gift from God, and I am so grateful for all of the work that you do to help families to understand that. Thank you, my blogger friend from Massachusetts, for sending out “The Summa Domestica” to be my Summer Homeschool Conference. You gave me a precious gift.
Leila says
Oh, I’m so glad! Thank you for telling me!
Jenny says
I so thoroughly enjoyed your conversation on the formula conundrum. I’ve got 6 kids and I have done the gamut from exclusive breastfeeding (somewhat torturous due to my low producing endocrine system) but for babies numbered 4 through 6, I simply could not physically take the time to nurse round the clock and pump on the off hours as I did to coax along my anemic supply when I had fewer kids. Thanks to the generous lactational overproduction from friends, my younger ones still received some breastmilk in addition to the best formula we could find based on my research (Babys Only, sold on Amazon or Whole Foods, marketed as “toddler formula” as to not discourage breastfeeding. Affordable and much cleaner ingredients than conventional formulas.)
My only suggestion to better round out the conversation would be to acknowledge the astonishing prevalence of autoimmune diseases in women of childbearing age, particularly hashimotos hypothyroidism, which makes breastfeeding difficult to impossible for many of them. Because of our food supply? Depleted soil leading to various vitamin and mineral deficiencies? Toxic air and water? Pharmaceuticals? Birth control in our drinking water?
Who knows for sure… but the reality is that many – not most, but not an insignificant number – women are not healthy enough to produce adequate breastmilk. I don’t know enough about the prevalence of autoimmune diseases in older generations to be certain of my hypothesis, but I believe it bears examining.
Congratulations on another successful launch! Gorgeous photos.
Leila says
Thanks for your kind words of congratulation!
I do realize that women are having serious health issues. I want women in general to stop leading with negative responses to breastfeeding encouragement so that we can figure it out. We don’t do that with anything else. We encourage and we try to find solutions for the problems in all areas except this one (and possibly natural childbirth, which is related!). Not encouraging, to a certain extent, enables acceptance of the larger health issue.
The expectant mom should be encouraged and offered concrete support for breastfeeding from experienced moms, not told “many can’t.” She should seek out and be encouraged to seek out breastfeeding moms and be around them. I know my own daughters had a much easier time than many because of the community they were raised in– mothers everywhere, all nursing their babies all the time.
We should all be urging our medical personnel to offer solutions, and an expectant mom should request the necessary testing to find out if she is at risk for failing. Here is a resource related to Hashimoto’s, which you mention: https://www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/breastfeeding-and-thyroidism/ I am confident that there are other remedies for the health challenges a woman may face. Of course, as I say in this post, we can’t have in the back of our minds that there are other, more important things we should be doing, or yes, breastfeeding will fail in the difficult situations.
As I said in the podcast, we need to encourage expectant moms to seek out natural childbirth and to become educated about how the choices made in this area affect the ability to breastfeed and leave mother and child vulnerable to counterproductive medical interventions. When I see women urging medicated childbirth, epidurals, and so on as valid, judgement-free options for a healthy delivery, a little part of my spirit sinks. We are setting each other up for a bad experience. A woman should be capable of assessing whether a course of action is good for her and baby without an emotional response of feeling judged, nor should anyone predispose her to that response by suggesting that the assessment is value-free. We should be able to encourage each other to do something that may seem difficult for the excellent reason of protecting her own well being and that of her child.
This is urgent for many reasons, but of course particularly because of the formula shortage. We can’t accept that babies might just not be able to eat! And I would have to see some solid studies to accept the “many women can’t breastfeed” statement. My gut feeling is that it is not so. Those of us in this conversation often lose sight of the huge number who simply never try, for cultural reasons — but their experience gets counted on the “can’t” side of the ledger. The culture trickles down from the top, so if those of us with the wherewithal to discuss the topic continue with a default position of general negativity, women will not be helped. Again, we don’t do that with any other endeavor.
And as I say in the podcast and here:https://happydespitethem.blogspot.com/2022/05/notes-on-baby-formula-crisis.html, it’s not that difficult to make your own formula if that is necessary. And as you say about your own case, women can stand ready to help with breastmilk from a healthy supply!
Rebecca says
In my personal life I’ve yet to meet a mother who couldn’t produce at all, though I do know those who couldn’t produce enough and couldn’t maintain it long term. One of those tried everything with each baby and still couldn’t nurse for more then a few months with supplementing but she’s the only one. Others there were other factors in play and the same problems may not happen every time. I believe one mom I know had a drop in suply because of pumping at work, something the world tells us is a normal way to feed our babies. There is also I think times when moms start supplementing because they don’t trust their bodies, they take a growth spurt causing baby to nurse longer to mean that their baby isn’t getting enough, so they supplement with formula not realizing that they are preventing their bodies from getting the message to make more milk.
For me my supply drops within the first months of the next pregnancy, and so here is my one caution, pay attention to your baby and your body, with my first I’d never had suply problems so when it happened it took me far longer then it should have to realize. So while I don’t think a mom should jump straight to supplementing the moment things seem different or difficult I do think suply issues need to be on a mom’s radar even if she’s never had a problem, including how to improve suply when possible.
On the positive side I know lots of women who nurse with few or no problems, I’m grateful to be of a generation who’s mothers reclaimed or held onto this normal part of motherhood. Much of the collective memory in this has been lost but it’s being built back up by mothers themselves, one baby at a time.
Anne-Marie says
We were handed down a smoker from a friend and bacon was the first thing I made in it. Even though I expected the homemade bacon to be better than the grocery-store version, I was floored by how very much superior both the flavour and texture were. This is the method I used: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEZQXtTcokw, with background information from various articles on amazingribs.com.