Dear Brandi writes:
I feel like one of the lost skills of womanhood is how to dress oneself properly. I don’t mean looking put together but what kind of slip to wear, hosiery, etc. Basically, those garments we lost to feminism but are actually helpful. Can you share some lost wisdom on this?
Dear Brandi,
The garments, the garments. I can just remember how they were when I was a little girl in the 60s. A big topic of conversation among women was girdles! How uncomfortable they were, and they certainly looked pitiless.
And stockings! Things were progressing to the point of stockings that didn't have seams in the back, needing to be kept in alignment (and opening the lady whose lines were not in order to judgment about her self-respect), but they were made of a kind of material that was all too susceptible to gravity. Ladies were always needing to find a private place to pull their nylons up again. And they got runs so easily — grief hovered in the air at all times over this calamity.
I remember thinking that I needed a way to escape this trap of adulthood, because I was not going to wear those things! I was so fatally sensitive to all the stimuli — the woolen underwear for children that was also still in use just about killed me, as my skin reacts to it by exploding into sensory chaos. I couldn't imagine life as a grownup in a girdle and stockings.
Then along came women's rights and bra-burning and hippie scorn for convention! If it got me out of having to wear dresses, I was for it! Ironically, at the same time, spandex transformed all the things, making them a lot more comfortable. I have a vivid memory of two plump playground monitor moms laughing hysterically over a pair of pantyhose that one of them pulled out of her bag, that looked like it might possibly fit a 2-year-old — until then you had to buy your hose in your exact size and hope for the best!
So you are right — there is a disconnect there. It took me a long time to figure out what I needed to dress comfortably, modestly, and I hope, attractively, especially in cold weather.
And yes, modesty is a big part of this question. Modesty is not limited to sexuality. It's about fittingness in one's personal appearance, so that one radiates to the eyes of others (and to their other senses too!) the truth of what is invisible. Modesty has a lot to do with figuring out how to be out and about without fidgeting, tugging, letting things hang out, and having what ought to be unseen be seen, yikes.
(For a full discussion of modesty, do hearken back to this book reading we had here on Wendy Shalit's excellent book, A Return to Modesty.)
So here is what I have learned. Please keep in mind that I am taking into consideration the need to be warm for many months of the year. If you live in California etc. not all of this will be needed. But you may travel! And you may not be aware of the pitfalls… I will tell you.
Starting from the inside and working our way out — and I won't have many photos because it's hard to find modest ones:
Underpants: Thank goodness we don't have to deal with tortuous girdles, but I don't think the answer is bikini panties or even scantier options! Again with the tugging! Also, many women deal with cramps and scars and other abdominal issues. Why would we want a piece of elastic going across this sensitive area?
Then there's the question of muffin-tops and lumpiness in general. I want to look smooth. The industry has tried to make me think that putting the panty line lower down will help, but that doesn't make sense. Why not have something that comfortably smooths over the entire area, front and back, with some compression but not too much, and with the panty line at my waist where it won't shift? But it must have cotton where it's needed.
My suggestion is something like this (affiliate link)
I know that some will think granny panties, but the vibe is, rather, more like this (well, maybe not “sea nymph,” it's hard to find a picture of what I mean, but let's normalize curves and coverage!):
(I bought a supply of these (affiliate link) and they are now unavailable, but if you click on it you will see similar items. I wouldn't want to link to something I haven't bought, but you get the idea. I ordered my usual medium size and they are fine, but the description now says that they run small).
Bras: As I am not super well endowed, I will leave it at this: I don't like underwires and sometimes, if I can only find bras with them, I take them out by cutting a little slit on the inside to access them. I just get mine at Marshalls; my main thought is that they give me a smooth look. I prefer ones that match my skin tone so that they aren't visible under a light shirt.
Tights and pantyhose: In summer I don't wear them unless the event is very formal indeed. We're not talking about clothing here but let me just say that unless you're at the beach and/or are 16 or younger, skirts and dresses should be knee length or longer. No one wants to see your knees! And if the skirt covers them, and you shave and moisturize your legs, you can get away with this most of the time. Again, I am a recovering hippie so this is fine with me.
But when the weather gets cooler, I like to have a supply of pantyhose, tights, and footless tights. I buy them at Marshall's or TJ Maxx. Let's discuss:
Sheer pantyhose in nude and black for really dressing up, with control tops. One of each. I prefer sheer all the way down to the toes so that whatever shoes I'm wearing won't expose heel and toe issues.
Regular, non-fleece-lined tights. I like to have 3-4 pairs of these in black (maybe one in gray and one in brown if I can find them). These tights make me comfortable in a skirt in all but the coldest weather. They pull the outfit together and look trim — with cute clogs or flats I can go all day. They are sturdy, resisting runs, and even if they get a hole it doesn't spread (this was a big advance that I also remember!) Maybe you think tights are constricting, but actually they are freeing. Just get your actual size!
Fleece-lined tights. Here in New England I need these in winter. With a corduroy skirt and slip (discussed below) I'm good to go.
Footless tights. Some of the pairs can be footless. This means I can wear warm socks; with boots no one can tell and I'm warmer and the weird sweatiness you can get with tights in the foot area is obviated.
Leggings. These are handy in cool but not cold weather where you can stick your bare feet in a pair of flats and are good to go — if you are wearing a tunic that covers down to your thighs. Trust me… your backside, which you do not see, is not advantageous in leggings.
Slips: Here's the real puzzler for many of you! What is a slip and — why?
Well, if you are going to be wearing pantyhose or tights, you need a nylon slip so that your skirt or dress doesn't cling to them and make it hard for you to walk! A slip allows your skirt to… slip over your tights!
It's all fine until you go from your house to outside. Suddenly, the change in temperature creates static and your dress is flattened against your legs. You can't take a step because the fabric is wrapping around you! You needed a slip.
You can usually find nice ones at thrift stores, so you don't even have to spend much on them. Have one that is just above your knees so it doesn't show with a knee-length skirt, one midi one, and one longer one for your holiday maxi-skirt that will wrap around your ankles if you don't have it. I also like having one midi one with a slit to wear under a pencil skirt with its own slit.
If the world were a place of justice, skirts would come lined and you wouldn't need a slip, but we live in barbaric times… I have one fabulous mid-calf wool skirt with a lining that makes my life so much simpler in winter. Keep your eye out in thrift stores for such a thing.
The slip also adds a layer of warmth. You might not think it, but it does. And if you have a fancy frock with a bit of swing to it, consider an actual crinoline (affiliate link) to give it the necessary body and avoid a sort of limp effect that ruins the effort.
Consider getting a half-slip for your daughter. You can reconcile her to skirts and dresses if she doesn't always feel that they are scrunching up on her. A lot of the resistance you're getting has to do with a sense of being exposed and so is actually quite valid. Address that issue and you may find more cooperation.
Camisoles. In cool weather, a camisole adds a layer and can be tucked into your skirt or pants to keep you warm. In summer it provides modesty if your top is sheer. Old Navy has tunic-length camis that might be helpful under a short dress or long top with leggings.
All of these things can seem like… a lot. Is it worth it? All these layers? In colder weather it is — I would rather take the time (and know that I am extremely impatient with such things! hence it took me a long time to work up to all this) than get stuck somewhere with that miserable feeling of not being dressed in a fitting way, which to me, sort of characterizes immodesty (again, not in a sexual sense but in a sense of having my body not be the focus of my — or others' — attention).
I spent a lot of time in my younger days just not having the right things to wear. A skeptic (not you, Brandi!) might save herself some embarrassment and free herself to have a nice feminine wardrobe.
A word about jeans. I know some of my readers have sworn off pants and jeans altogether. But if you wear them, consider the question of why, why have extra, stiff layers of fabric, not to mention metal, in the sensitive area of your abdomen. I have found this style (affiliate link) and I have never looked back, since I do wear jeans on certain occasions (including yard work unless it's very hot).
Since we've long ago left behind tucking in shirts, the elastic panel doesn't show anyway. It pulls everything in nicely and most importantly, eliminates the bulky, even pointy, situation right where I personally do not need it!
If your figure is full in the hips and small in the waist, I don't think they would work (and jeans in general probably don't work), but otherwise they are brilliant. I have two in the dark wash denim and one in black (the photo on the listing makes them look wrinkly but they are not like that). The black ones are super clutch when I want to be ready to do work but also look a little more put together.
I do dearly wish they would make them in twill and corduroy!
Do get the bootcut style. They are merely straight, and my observation is that ankle-hugging jeans are not attractive — the straight style lengthens your leg and is much more modest.
(And no, leggings that resemble jeans are not acceptable substitutes. They really don't look as good as you think they do… I'm old enough now to say it…)
For a full treatment on dressing in cold weather, go here.
For more on dressing in a pretty way (especially after babies), go here.
For a corduroy skirt I like, go here. This particular one is no longer in stock, sadly, but it gives you an idea of what works for winter while still looking attractive. Try searching “flared corduroy riding boot skirt” and see what comes up… this one is pretty (if pricey). This denim skirt (affiliate link) is good for all but the dead of winter, and is actually much nicer in person.
There you have it! Did I leave anything out?
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D jones says
I recently bought pantyhoes for the first time in ages. They were a whole new experience. The science (magic? Miracle? ) of lycra and spandex has evolved. I have spent the past decade avoiding them – choosing tights, footless tights, longer hemlines – but now I’m no longer afraid of the investment. They were not control top, but other garments available help there now thanks to the compression you mention above. They did stay up. They didn’t run – I’m not even sure I could cause a run They seem so sturdy!
Toni Graham says
Leila,
About the jeans – do you know the approximate inseam length of regular vs petite sizes?
Leila says
The petite inseam is too short for me and I’m 5’3″.
The regular is right (has a break over my clogs).
jenny says
Stitch Fix had good advice for the petite inseam. I don’t subscribe to the company, but the advice helped my 5′ 2″ self. 🙂
Toni Graham says
What is the advice?
Mckenna says
Last month I read The Lost Art of Dress and it was really enlightening. I was born in the 80s and don’t remember a time when dress was taken seriously. It’s a quick and easy read. One thing that stood out was the idea that aging into a more mature wardrobe was considered a good thing. Then, teenagers wanted to look more mature instead of 50 year olds wanting to look like teenagers. And ,some styles were only thought to be appropriate for middle aged women because they had earned the right to wear them. Sigh, different times.
Heidi says
McKenna, having been an older teen in the 80’s, I look back wistfully now at the fashions and think, “wow, women were still dressing somewhat like feminine women compared to today.” Especially with the influence of Laura Ashley and the relatively new and still romantic Victoria’s Secret.
Rebecca says
I own this book and re-read it frequently. I am 38. It radically changed my understanding of what I could do to change my wardrobe for the better. I no longer feel so odd, out-of-place and underdressed when with my brother who wears his dignified cassock. Understanding the principals of art in dress was crucial to making the right improvements. I’ve been working on this for several years and it keeps getting better!
Dixie says
This is great! I like a full slip under dresses; I feel much warmer and more comfortable.
For busty ladies, I cannot emphasize enough: *get properly fitted for a bra*. At a specialty store. Not at Victoria’s Secret or even Macy’s or Nordstrom’s, where they may think they have bras that properly lift and support someone in these sizes with comfort, but they don’t. Google “bra specialty store” in your area and you’ll probably find one. Do not compromise, and realize you will be paying $60 per bra, and that’s just that.
Leila says
Good advice, Dixie! Thanks for filling in that, er, gap 🙂
Rachel S says
As Dixie says, get properly fitted for a bra, especially if you are busty, but I think anyone can benefit. VS is a joke. Anyone who says to go up in band size if the cup is too small doesn’t know what they are talking about. Yes, you will get the proper cup size, but not the proper fit. I found my first properly fitting bra at Nordstrom (size 36H, Wacoal basic beauty) and have had success at Dillards as well. Now that I’m nursing I need to find another source. Even if one does have the proper size, not every bra is good for every shape.
Another thing I would recommend, especially in warmer weather, is the culotte slip. It does everything a regular slip does with the added benefit of eliminating thigh chafing! Velrose Snip-it 26″ Culotte Slip (2402) https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B001IIA8F0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_9M0CH5YXKKHV505QFSV2
mrsnightskyre says
Dixie, where do you find a full slip that actually stays in place, rather than trying to “hug” the body and getting all twisted up? I have a mostly-white dress that really needs one. I’ve tried two different knee-length full slips and both just get twisted up and MORE uncomfortable than not wearing one at all 🙁
Dixie says
Hm. Do you think it’s possible it’s a fit issue? I am kind of picky about slips, and I don’t know whether it’s because I’m just so sensory-fussy or because there are actually not very many good ones out there.
The worst is when a slip bunches up, right? It sort of has to hug the body some for that reason. It’s got to have some stretchiness to the material in addition to the slipperiness, though. If it’s just slippery and it’s close to the body, it’ll just twist and bunch.
This full slip is my favorite; I like the comfy stretchy lace and it seems to have a good combo of hugging the body and being comfortable: https://www.amazon.com/Vanity-Fair-Reversible-Neckline-10181/dp/B006LFV33G/ref=sr_1_10?crid=TLSMN4NACR70&keywords=vanity+fair+full+slip&qid=1643549225&sprefix=vanity+fair+full+slip%2Caps%2C87&sr=8-10
I have also liked the ones like this, which seem to be more readily available: https://www.amazon.com/Vanity-Fair-Spinslip-Tailored-Neutral/dp/B07L4Y7ZNY/ref=sr_1_9?crid=TLSMN4NACR70&keywords=vanity+fair+full+slip&qid=1643549225&sprefix=vanity+fair+full+slip%2Caps%2C87&sr=8-9
For half slips, I really only like this kind: https://www.amazon.com/Vanity-Fair-Foundation-11072-Neutral/dp/B005LMUXEU/ref=sr_1_16?crid=TLSMN4NACR70&keywords=vanity+fair+full+slip&qid=1643549225&sprefix=vanity+fair+full+slip%2Caps%2C87&sr=8-16 I just find that lace waistband so comfortable. The thin, regular elastic waistbands do terrible things for me!
Let me know if you find one you really like! I’d be glad for more suggestions!
Dixie says
(It looks like the half slips Auntie Leila pictured have the same great waistband.)
Cami says
I think there is pressure for women to look sexy when pregnant. I am shocked when I see the pregnant woman in 4 in heels trying to look like a super model. This is also the woman who purchases maternity thong underwear. We all know that’s not feeling good on a body going through all the changes involved with pregnancy. But she does it anyway, putting on a smile to somehow say, “pregnancy is changing absolutely nothing in my life, I’m not sacrificing in any way, I look great and feel great and refuse to be seen as otherwise!” But of course pregnancy is supposed to involve some sacrifice and growing a child has its own beauty. But maybe she’s trying to keep her husband’s attention despite physical changes, or hold on to her former ego-centric life before children. Whatever the reason I feel sad for this woman. She needs affirmation in the vocation she’s beginning, and in how to care for her and baby comfortably in flats and comfy underwear.
Emily says
A dear friend of mine and my sister just had their babies, and I will say (based on their experiences) that maternity wear is kind of terrible right now. It’s *all* that sort of stuff! Fortunately they both had access to hand-me-downs from their friends that were not this terrible tight-fitting thing, but it is sadly “the fashion” and thus, hard to find anything else.
Roseanne says
Sadly, your delightful corduroy skirt link no longer works. I was able to get one when you first posted but when I went back to get one for my daughter, they were gone.
Since moving north, I’ve had fun adjusting my wardrobe for colder seasons. Slips and proper undergarments are essential. Thanks for the practical advice!!
Leila says
Oh, boo!
I edited the post to reflect this and to offer a suggestion or two. If I find *just* the right thing I will let you know.
Sarah says
I’m pregnant in an area of the country where the temps are regularly in the teens and below right now, and I am really struggling to figure out how to dress a growing belly and be warm! I’ve been rotating wearing my three wool skirts (grandma hand-me-downs) in my pre-pregnancy size high above my waist to accommodate the bump, as well as slips and wool tights, with turtlenecks and sweaters. I feel like it’s not exactly a graceful look on my petite frame, and the wool tights drive me crazy, but right now warmth is my top priority, and this is the closest I’ve arrived to achieving it. (I’m not opposed to wearing pants, but they’re just not warm enough, and the wool tights get even itchier if I try to wear them underneath pants, besides being much harder to pull up when they ride down!) I’m not sure what I’ll do when I really can’t make the wool skirts fit any longer, except maybe get larger wool skirts. I was used to wearing dresses most of the time in the warmer area of the country I came from, because dresses were the coolest in hot weather, pretty, and in my opinion one of the best looking options on a very short woman. But if anyone has tips on cold weather maternity wear, they’d be very welcome!
Leila says
Definitely get some maternity leggings in fleece. https://amzn.to/34lxfc4 (affiliate link)
Back in the day I had two maternity turtlenecks — I wonder if they still make such a thing! My belly would outgrow any and all regular tops, no matter how roomy. I needed the room and the extra length. I think that maternity fleece leggings + a maternity top (in deep cold, a turtleneck) + a roomy sweater-tunic-dress would be the most efficient way to stay warm.
Something like this? Although it says through the fifth month which isn’t super helpful https://www.etsy.com/ie/listing/563223681/classic-black-dress-wool-black-dress
If you sew, you could make a jumper (sleeveless dress) from a stretchy wool perhaps?
Sarah says
I will definitely have to look into getting fleece maternity leggings–and maybe maternity turtlenecks, too. Tunic dresses could work, too, if I could find some nice wooly ones. Thanks for the ideas!
Cirelo says
I’ve been living in cashmere sweater dresses for my pregnancy wear this winter. Worn over pants like a tunic with fleece tights underneath. And tall boots add extra warmth. The dresses are not maternity but because of their length have grown with me.
Catherine says
Sarah, have you looked into some true long underwear, either thermal or something like CuddleDuds (sold at kohls, I assume other places also)? I haven’t used them in maternity but I went through a long illness where I was terribly cold, and the CuddleDuds (yes, absurd name) were the only thing that kept me warm. I wore their pants/leggings and shirt under all my other layers at all times through a Northern winter.
Ellen says
I’m probably not qualified to comment here as i chose practicality in dress over most of the ideas here. But i can speak to dressing warm during pregnancy. I do leggings under maxi dresses from latched mama or pink blush. Then a sweater if needed. Also, pregnancy leggings from old navy which are cotton and breathable. Sweat in cold weather makes me more cold. Under tunics – I’ve found decent one from Amazon, though i don’t usually like to buy there. Also, shorter dresses with leggings and sweaters, or under pregnancy jeans. Smartwool socks have worked well for me and come in many thicknesses. I do camis or tanks and sometimes tshirts under cardigans. I have so many of those! Because my body temp shifts so much during pregnancy and nursing. So basically, layers, leggings under dresses, and sweaters and wool socks. I’m short too so i know what you mean about bulking up a short torso.
Sarah says
I’m barely warm enough in long wool skirts with wool tights, so I definitely don’t think I could make Pink Blush type dresses warm enough for me. Everything I’ve ever gotten from them feels very thin. I think I’m just weirdly sensitive to cold, though, probably because of having lived most of my life in the south, until the last couple years, and I just haven’t acclimated well. Getting some good wool socks might help, though. My feet are always cold in normal socks.
Ellen says
I think i do run hot, so light cotton layers with wool sweaters feel best. You are right, pink blush and latched mama would be too light weight for you. I can’t handle much synthetic fabric so i avoid fleecr. Alpaca wool is similar to cashmere, but cheaper. It doesn’t bother my skin like even merino. (We have an alpaca farm near by, but im sure they are sold on ebay or etsy). I do like pretty scarves for warmth around my neck, as someone said below. Having a warmer head and neck and feet just makes me feel more comfortable all over. Also, i got myself some Emu winter boots, from Australia, lined with sherling, so warm for outside in mountains of snow! Finally, there’s a company on etsy called Not Perfect Linen which makes linen dresses that can almost all be made nursing friendly too. I love my dresses from them in my layering rotation.
Rebecca says
I can’t survive winter without Smartwool socks. They have been worth the price for me.
Nicole says
I have been pregnant in dead-of-winter several times with February babies, and I’m *very* short as well (5’0). Fleece-lined maternity tights or leggings are very very clutch. Motherhood Maternity makes some that fit well and are comfy. I’d bet they could go under roomier maternity jeans. They also make some nice large tunic sweaters to drape over the bump. The other really important thing is a LONG maternity camisole to go under. It needs to really be long enough to cover all the way down to your hips in order to keep you warm as you get bigger and bigger. I actually preferred using summertime maternity tank tops for this, rather than the “maternity cami” places sell; they would always get too short, whereas the summer tank tops had ruching on the side that made them really stretch. I would always have that as a base layer, and then a maternity sweater over.
Wool socks. Fuzzy slippers. A nice infinity scarf around the neck can do wonders in bringing body temp up and it’s so quick to take off if you get too warm. SO many women’s shirts and tops have deep V’s and even if not immodest, they make you SO cold in winter– all the heat is just escaping from your exposed neck and chest!
Sarah says
That is very helpful. I’m 5’1″ myself, and until moving to a cold climate, I always felt like I knew how to dress in a way that worked well with short stature. But dealing with cold weather and a baby bump has thrown me for a loop, and I have been starting to reconcile myself to looking like a frumpy fur ball, as long as I am warm-ish. But I’m definitely going to try going for the fleece leggings/tunic combo.
Victoria says
Finding winter maternity wear for petite women is so hard. I was just shopping for new things recently and felt like I had to just settle. Today I’m wearing a Pink Blush dress (which is thin), slip, black Pink Blush shirt under the dress, tights, alpaca scarf and a long sweater from Ann Taylor that I close with a belt. It just barely works for the season. Not as warm ad I’d like, but it works for looking a little dressier at church. On a weekday I deploy wool socks and bloomers and an ugly denim skirt that reaches my ankles. I feel like there is such a good business opportunity here with petite mamas that’s being missed!
Leila says
Sarah, I think you’ve gotten some good thoughts here. I would add a couple more, because I feel like we need to warm you up!
Do look up my post about keeping the house warm (I find Southerners don’t quite get it…): http://likemotherlikedaughter.org/2015/09/ask-auntie-leila-getting-the-house-ready-and-warm-for-winter/
Try a pair of leg warmers (you can find them at Marshalls for pretty cheap). Dancers wear them. They are not bulky and they go over your socks or tights if you are wearing footed ones and up to your knees. They do really add a coziness factor when you are chilled — heat rises, so often the air near the floor is just cold! It’s nice to be protected from it!
Do get some thin socks that are made with at least some wool. They don’t have to be too bulky at all, but even a little wool will be helpful. If they are not bulky (boot socks) you can wear them with your regular shoes.
Get a pair of warm slippers. I have these: https://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/23777?page=womens-wicked-good-slippers&bc=474-630-503422&feat=503422-GN3&csp=f&pos=9 After a couple of years I did get some shearling inserts to put in them (and in my husband’s too) because the bottoms get worn down inside, but they are still going strong.
Do try wearing a light wool scarf or shawl, not a long one but just enough to cover your shoulders. In this post I’m wearing one I made. https://www.instagram.com/p/CZSS6mKP8tg/ It’s alpaca and quite small and light, but adds that necessary warm layer.
Right now the style is for cardigans that are long and annoyingly without any closures — but this could work in your favor if you know how to add a couple of large snaps up above your belly. I feel they are dumb on anyone who is not pregnant, but on a pregnant lady (with something to keep them closed at least on top) they could offer a good layer over a jumper or long tunic. Something like this — it’s got vertical lines and is pretty simple, so won’t feel too cluttery on your small frame: https://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=747390012&vid=1&tid=brpl000045&kwid=1&ap=7&gclid=Cj0KCQiAi9mPBhCJARIsAHchl1yPpnrwr11QewJ7HRBJ1m2HyblyKCOgr4RDgnTl9GFm701bLlWA0rgaApaXEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#pdp-page-content
All these things could probably be found at the thrift sites people are recommending here!
Rosemary says
Can you share where you found the shearling inserts for your slippers?
I have the same pair and know what you mean about the inside wearing down.
Leila says
Yes, they are these: https://amzn.to/3Gf2QJF (affiliate link)
They are lovely and I appreciate the arch support. My issue with these slippers is that I’m more comfortable with something supportive, and adding these inserts has made them super cozy and comfy for wearing all day.
I put these into my shearling boots as well.
Rosemary says
Thank you!
Catie H says
Congratulations, Sarah!! A simple comment to add…. I found the tunic-length camisoles from Old Navy (that Auntie Leila mentioned) to be invaluable during my last pregnancy. They cover the belly the entire 9 months!
Betty says
Thanks Leila! Would also appreciate a post on shoes to wear with skirts (Idon’t have boots)
Leila says
I was thinking about doing this!
Joy says
I don’t have boots and wear skirts a lot. I tend to wear flats or shoes with a tiny heel (think less than an inch) with casual skirts. These work particularly well with opaque tights in the winter. If I need winter boots because of snow, I slip my flats in a bag and put them on when I get to work or church. Most of these can we worn without stockings in the summer as long as they cover your knees (why are knees so ugly!) but I always wear little footie nylons for comfort.
For dressier skirts, I wear a classic pump most of the year (closed toed, 1 1/2 to 2 inch heel). They’re classic and you don’t need lots of these unless you dress up daily. I usually don’t wear tights with these but always stockings. A dressy sandal works if you want to go without stockings in the hot weather. My church is so cold that I tend to wear them year round just to stay warm.
BridgetAnn says
That is an apropos question for the everyday/casual skirt wear-er. (I feel like dressier skirts are less difficult to navigate, in part because they are more socially acceptable.) Boots are a great option for winter skirts, but so are clogs (matching the need for warmth as well as balancing the ‘heaviness’ of the material and color of winter styles). Summer skirts are a little easier on account of sandals. Personally, I dislike like traditional sneakers paired with skirts -even for my daughters- but I find that a MaryJane type ‘sneaker’ walks that fine line of functional and pretty; LL Bean has had one in the past that I am hoping they will carry again as my pair is worn out.
Great topic and helpful comments!
Emily says
It is so cold here right now (we’re talking single digits with the wind chill) and reading here about fleece-lined tights–what is this magic!? I think I need to find some! I really dislike (this is me, personally) wearing pants to Mass, but wearing a dress in this weather makes me cold just thinking about it. I must find some of these!
I also need to resume my tights/pantyhose search. Finding them in my size was a problem, oh, 10 years ago, but maybe now I can find them. I generally find that plain leggings (I have some that are very soft and quite nice) under dresses is enough for warmth except for–right now!
Re: Bra straps that show. My mom and I have this problem *all the time*, because of the way our shoulders are. (They are quite tiny and thin) Our straps are always falling off. Because of surgical scars I can’t wear a strapless bra so I am always trying to keep them from showing….but, it’s a constant battle. I try to avoid sleeveless tops and dresses just because I hate having them fall down! It’s sort of like jeans–all the “regular” or even “short” jeans (or pants) are not “short”! I put them on and I look like I’m playing dress up! Fortunately we have a local tailor shop but can you “tailor” bra straps?
Leila says
Emily, Marshall’s has lots of nice fleece-lined tights.
I NEVER wear pants to Sunday Mass. In very cold weather I wear my lined wool midi skirt with tights and boots. If it’s above, say, 25 degrees, I will wear any winter skirt with tights and a slip and be fine — as long as I have a top and sweater (along with a scarf of course).
A game-changer with slipping bra straps is putting something in your clothing to keep them snapped in. I have certain items that I just sew a small ribbon in with a snap to make an anchor (some high-end clothing has this already in it).
If you do a search, you will see advice about tape and other solutions!
Emily says
Ooh! Thank you! Tape! Never thought of that.
I used to have a very nice, warm midi skirt from Lands’ End but sadly it gave up the ghost. Need to find another one, especially a lined one!
Dixie says
Emily, safety pins help with the bra strap issue, in a pinch.
Alice says
This. I do this, not just in a pinch, but all the time. I have a box of those little brass colored safety pins and pin them through the shoulder seam of my top so they don’t show, if that makes sense. Most of the time I just leave them pinned into the top (even through the wash, no issues so far) and attach/ detach from the bra strap as needed. No visible straps, plus it keeps slippy sorts of tops from moving and having to be tugged back into place all day long.
Emily says
This makes sense! Thank you!
G says
Hi! I have had success with what I think is called a “ballet back” bra. They are designed with a u shape in the back with the straps closer to the middle, if that makes sense. I too have tiny shoulders and this has solved that problem for me.
Kerri says
As someone who has lived in the US and Europe, I have to say that bras for the well-endowed are much better in Europe. There is a UK shop called Bravissimo that does virtual fittings: that may be of great service to those who don’t have a specialty shop nearby (because, no, Dillards is not going to cut it.) I agree- just expect to pay $60 minimum for a good bra, and if it is the right fit, and you wash it carefully, it will last you a long time.
Sometimes sites like Vinted or EBay sell these more expensive bras with tags still on so you can score a good deal. Marks and Spencers also sells larger/ unusual US sizes (just check that you are translating European/ UK/ US sizing correctly.) I’ve found that brands size differently so if you find a brand that works for you (Wacohl, Panache, HotMilk, etc) then usually their sizing will be consistent across styles. There is an art to finding the right shape / style of bra for your particular shape!
If the straps fall down, there are some bra styles that offer an extra clip in the back so that you have the normal band, but then can clip the two straps together to be an “X” shape. The straps will definitely be snug then!
This shop also offers an incredibly wide selection and great shipping costs, even to the US. https://www.nursingbra-shop.co.uk/
Molly R says
Leggings and tights drive me crazy, so I cut off one of those flimsy Jersey maxi skirts and wear it under my skirts like a slip. It keeps me warm, without the itchy shifting of snug leggings. The downside is that I spend all winter wearing only maxi skirts, but I’m okay with that. Also, a belly band helps in pregnancy to make it possible to wear non-maternity skirts longer. I can keep the waistband low and use the belly band (Bella band?) to keep it in place and prevent any skin from peeking out. They also provide a comfortable bit of support.
Leila says
Here it would not work to wear a skirt, however long, without tights underneath! just too cold!
One tip about tights for those who do want to wear them: get a size that actually fits! They feel a lot better!
Molly R says
I live in Central NY…definitely at least as cold as MA, if not colder! I find that the jersey skirt worn as a slip works kind of like a petticoat. Keeps me warm along with knee high socks. Mind you, I’m not spending my days outside in the winter, but it keeps me warm enough when I’m on the go inside the house. Guess it depends on what you prefer and feel comfortable in!
Kim says
Oh man I’m so cold just reading all of this. God bless y’all. Y’all come down to south Louisiana and eat some gumbo 😅 it’s 65 degrees here.
Leila says
Kim, you interest me strangely haha…
Leila says
Okay, I think I misunderstood — it does make sense to have a jersey skirt as a slip. (I would still need tights!). I have had a fantasy in the past few years of making a petticoat out of a light, frothy woven woolen material (does such a fabric exist!) — I think it would be so warm and tights would protect my legs from any itchiness!
Anel says
Leila, the synthetic fabric of most panty hose and slips, make me itch terribly where I sit on them. Waistless pantyhose (with garters) should alleviate this, but luckily it is not as cold where I live.
The slips are a different problem.. Can one make some cotton muslin ones with a nice lace border? Am I overthinking? Also, the hose and the normal slip sometime also make static together, then I just rub some (a very little!) hand lotion on ny hose.
But the itching….
Leila says
Lotion does help the static! I find that nylon slips are the only ones that don’t cling.
I do find that tights are more comfortable than pantyhose, and moisturizing one’s legs is helpful too.
Martha Oram says
The non-synthetic solution for slips is silk of course! Admittedly, it can be expensive. But they’re worth it!
Rebecca says
Yes, and silk is a good insulator!
Rebecca says
I haven’t tried it but I’ve been told linen doesn’t get staticy
Amy says
I cut down an old linen skirt and made it into a slip and it has been fantastic. Synthetic slips made me feel overheated in summer, but the linen slip is extremely comfortable and works very well
Mary says
This is another excellent post, Leila. For what it’s worth, *I* still tuck in blouses. I think the look is tidier, less casual. About slips (or as I call them, “petticoats”), I’m not fond of full petticoats, as I don’t live in horribly cold climate. But, as a Southern Lady who does appreciate modesty (and warmth when needed), I like my hand-sewn 100% linen half-slips/half-petticoats. I have Spring/summer and autumn/winter weight petticoats. They have been durable and most functional. I don’t wear wool or polyester, so I don’t know about the “cling” factor with those fabrics, but under cotton or (more!) linen, there is no problem. Perhaps this will help someone else.
As an aside, my copy of “Summa Domestica” has arrived and I am very, VERY pleased. Thank you for writing this! It is heirloom-worthy, both in content and quality. God bless you for this and all you do here, there, and everywhere. Take care! Pax.
PS Mckenna mentioned the Book, “The Lost Art of Dress”. Very good reading!
Leila says
I tuck into skirts but not into jeans!!
Thank you re: TSD! I am SO happy with the design. It fulfills all my hopes and dreams! I appreciate your comments about it!
Mrs. T says
It took seven pregnancies to discover the genius of maternity pantyhose. I’m a slow learner.
Heidi says
Slips are indeed the forgotten-about garment that helps skirts/dresses lay better! I also get mine mostly at the thrift stores now that the Vanity Fair label as well as the outlet store are no more 🙁
Sarah says
There is a lot of nice merino wool on the market now that differs immensely from the itchy wool of yesteryear. It’s pricy, but worth keeping an eye out for in thrift store because it is so good for keeping warm in cold climates and drafty houses. Similarly, cashmere sweaters are worth seeking in thrift stores as well, especially if you know how to darn minor holes.
Leila says
I truly cannot wear any sheep’s wool next to my skin. And I do urge anyone who is putting it on their children to keep an eye out for a miserable reaction. Sometimes something doesn’t affect mom but it is torture to others…
Cashmere is another thing entirely. So wonderful! And I have picked up some gems at thrift stores! I still do wear a cotton shirt underneath even a cashmere sweater, but I can stand having it touch my neck, which is not possible with sheep’s wool (which I do wear but I have to have something firmly in between it and my skin — just telling this to anyone who needs to hear it 🙂
Joy says
I love this post. My grandmother and mother drummed proper foundation garments into my head from an early age. I wear stockings/tights except in the hottest of weather although they help keep me warm in church when the AC is blasting.
Slips are a must! I like cotton ones in the summer time. There’s nothing cooler than a cotton skirt with a cotton slip in hot weather. Vermont Country Store sells them but you could easily make a half slip with some cotton muslin if you can do basic sewing.
Nylon slips for winter. Even if your skirt is lined (some of my wool work skirts are fully lined), a slip still helps everything look better.
Emily, the Mid-Century Modern Mommy says
So, I am obviously an anomaly, but I actually wear Rago girdles, longline bras, and well-fitted corsets. I also wear slips, and stockings that clip onto my girdles rather than pantyhose. I usually wear full slips, not half-slips, and crinolines as well. And I put my little girls in slips, “gym panties,” and tights, especially in winter.
Erin says
I actually wear a girdle a lot as well, and sometimes a medical grade corset. I have back problems and the corset is a must when my back is acting up. I don’t tight lace it, but it provides a lot of needed support when my back is out. I also have a lot of digestive problems and I find that the mild pressure of the girdle helps significantly with the pain. So you are not a total anomaly! I confess, I hated the clip on stockings so I cut the clips off the girdle and just wear regular tights underneath.
Helena says
A few hard-won tips as well:
-tucking shirts in is back in. Along with the high-waisted pants (and the fact that any style jean is in), this feels quite feminine.
-you can get amazingly soft jcrew cashmere sweaters on ebay for $20, if you measure a sweater that fits well and compare the measurements.
-Lululemon bras are complete game-changers for me. Comfortable, wireless, smooth, and sizes that are impossible for the less-well endowed to find elsewhere. Royce has the same range, but for nursing– and again, there are lots of deals on new, unused garments on ebay.
-smartwool tights! All the warmth and no itch! My favorite grey pair lasted for about 10 years of solid winter use, and even then was darn-able.
Rosemary says
Jeans indeed did not work very well for me back when I was generous of hip and small of waist … now that I am generous in both regards I find they fit much better, haha! I am so happy that they make them pull-on now.
Rosemary says
I would also add that every woman–large or small–would benefit from a professional bra fitting. Most of us are wearing the wrong size. (Although now that I know more about how undergarments should fit, it is yet another thing for me to get mad about in how the clothing industry doesn’t really make clothing to fit real women’s bodies … but I digress.)
And for the lower half I really like Pact underwear with the lacy top. All cotton, very comfy and pretty, and the lace is stretchy and doesn’t dig in anywhere.
Katherine says
Thank you so much for this post! I would love to hear more about modest fashion (ie. budget, quantities, seasonal, resources etc…) I think we could all use your sisterly advice and guidance.
Jenny says
In addition to this post,”Inspired by Nikki” has great advice regarding slips and hosiery, and Jennifer L. Scott (Daily Connoisseur) has lovely videos on capsule wardrobes.
oldbluebus says
If you wear skirts in the summer, and really do not like the chafing that high temperatures and humidity can bring on, take a look at Undersummers. They are definitely not cheap, although the company frequently has sales. Just a note that the ads sometimes mention wearing these as –clothing– but the garments are most decidedly –underwear–
Another fairly expensive-but-very-nice option in the winter are athletic compression leggings! They look like tights under your skirts but gently massage your legs All Day Long, and are far more attractive than support stockings sometimes recommended for those on their feet all day.
Lisa G. says
If you like colors, Gudrun Sjoden offers tights and footless tights in pretty colors and black, changing them every spring and fall. If you buy two pair (or more) they are a couple dollars less. They’re heavier than pantyhose, but not heavy, but warmer than nylons and they are very stretchy – I love them!! They call the footless tights leggings, but they aren’t – they have no seam. gudrunsjoden.com.
Ellen says
I just discovered this company and love the style! I am also slowly changing my thinking about the cost of clothing to be less but better and more money once. When i looked at what i spend on cheap clothing from old navy in a year, it is worth one or two of these beautiful outfits, or a wool&co dress!
Lisa G. says
I agree with you. I don’t like spending lots on an item, but if I’m wearing a limited wardrobe (10-item wardrobe) then something expensive but very well-made is going to last years, and I don’t buy things I just sort of like – I really like the stuff I buy, so I don’t tire of it.
Dixie says
I am glad this “investment piece” approach works for some, but for me — my size is constantly changing, and my shape, too! It changes after each baby, and then a year after that, and then when I stop nursing, and then when I hurt my back and can’t hike for awhile, and then when I get back to hiking…and don’t get me started on while I’m pregnant!
So I think this approach is a money pit for some of us, though it sounds wise for those who wear steady sizes.
Marta says
This is my problem! Going on 18 years of nursing and 8 pregnancies, I sometimes feel like Alice in Wonderland as far a size shifts go. I find myself in far more cotton knit dresses and skirts than I’d like (not really age appropriate and so flimsy, but so cheap and pretty in a low maintenance kind of way.) My figure is better suited to nice tailored dresses and skirts, but I’d actually need about 4 total wardrobes to cover all my “stages.” I already have a few bins of “will fit later” in the garage. I’m seriously contemplating that Wool& every-single-day tunic dress. At very least, it’s good quality and will always fit (albeit in a kind of 1984 sort of way.)
Ellen says
I am with you. But organizing is an enjoyable past time for me, so i have a system of plastic garment bags under my bed for each shifting size, plus a bin of maternity clothes in 2 sizes. I do have about 4 sizes all together. It can be alot of back and forth, but i dont mind that too much. I only keep the pieces i really like and that fit well for that size. As long as i am keeping many sizes of clothing for my children, i might as well do so for myself along the same lines of saving $ and having nicer things.
appleava says
I’ve a hunch this is going to be one of your most popular posts, Leila. I’m excited to look into what other people mentioned in the comments. I grew up wearing nylons on Sundays or other dressy occasions if it was under 70 degrees fahrenheit. It was my mother’s rule and it made sense to me. : ) That said, I didn’t wear strappy sandals or peep toe pumps unless it was 70 degrees or warmer which wasn’t my mother’s rule – just my preference. When it comes to hosiery, I think it’s worth visiting a nice department store (e.g. Von Maur or Dillards) to buy it. When on sale, the cost at the department store is about the same as getting “no nonsense” hosiery from walgreens or walmart AND you get a much bigger color palate to choose from instead of just “suntan” or opaque black.
Also, you can usually find slips, white cotton undies and camisoles for young girls at nicer department stores too.
Regarding other foundation garments, I bless my Madre for giving her daughters e-giftcards to soma pretty much every mothers day. Bras and even nice pajamas can be so very expensive. Soma also has nursing bras and offers fittings.
An aside, in the b/w movie version of Rebecca directed by Hitchcock, there’s a part where the scary housekeeper mentions that Rebecca’s foundation wear was made by French nuns. Does anybody know if there really is such an order? : D I’m inclined to think it was just made up but I figured I’d ask.
Rebecca says
I don’t think it’s made up, though I don’t know specifically which orders sewed lingerie. This article talks about the history of French lingerie and how common it was for nuns (or children under a nun’s supervision) to sew lingerie in Victorian times. Maybe some were still doing this by the time Hitchcock made his film in 1940? Certainly, nuns still make beautiful lace by hand, though presumably not for undergarments! The reference is in the middle of the article and references are at the end.
https://www.geriwalton.com/victorian-french-lingerie/
Anamaria says
Anyone have a recommendation for a decently high necked camisole? I have one from j Jill from a decade ago that sits about an inch below my collarbone- not dowdy but it truly covers everything. It makes a big difference to me in the full sense of modesty – not having to tug at a dress to make sure it doesn’t fall. I can’t find anything like it- the old navy ones I have are too flimsy up top for this purpose
Amelia says
I have several of these:
https://www.amazon.com/Second-Base-Demi-Cami-Womens/dp/B00K6VDGV8/
Something about my build (probably the long-waisted and/or busty aspects) makes necklines sit lower than intended on me. Plus, so many were not designed to be high enough in the first place! I wear them with many tops and practically all dresses.
These don’t heat you up like a true extra layer would, which is a big advantage with all the flimsy summer clothes out there, and when it’s cold (not that it gets *really* cold where I live) I find raising a neckline more helpful for me than another tummy layer. These also work perfectly for nursing in, both for ease of use and in giving that upper coverage when you pull down a neckline.
Anamaria says
Thank you!! It is really hot here in Oklahoma in the summer so this is perfect!!! Also, there’s a smoothness issue with a full cami under a dress sometimes 🙂
Ellen says
Duluth trading company has high neck and long waist tanks. Very long- wearing
Emily says
YES! I was just about to say that! A variety of necklines and they do STAY DOWN, which is so great! Just google Duluth trading camisoles and it pops right up! They also have *excellent* underwear!
Lisa G. says
Annamaria, would you wear something like these https://www.appleseeds.com/search/clothing/knit-tops-tees/tanktops-sleeveless-tees?pageNumber=1&itemsPerPage=24 . Layering pieces, but not exactly a camisole.
Anamaria says
I looked at the top turtleneck first and thought no way in Oklahoma, but the others are good options! Thank you.
Martha says
Gap makes maternity turtlenecks! I own probably 6 of them and love them. They’re very thin, which I like because I wear them underneath things.
I find underwear the most interesting part of this conversation because for centuries women did not wear them. They wore pantaloons or chemises, then wore shaping foundations like stays overtop. I find this is actually kinder to women’s anatomy, not to mention possibly more hygienic.
Also…yeah jeans have never worked for this hourglass. Ever. There’s been as much as a 12 inch difference in my waist to hip ratio! There’s always a huge waist gap or they’re too tight. I hate pants in general now. They’re so unflattering. The only pants I want to wear are snow bibs.
I do enjoy the Chatham pants from Talbots (the petite size still isn’t really perfectly ankle length on me but I’m 5 foot even) – they’re very thick type leggings. Worn underneath a dress or with a mid-thigh tunic top, they are very comfortable around the house when it’s cool.
Katie says
Ah, this is a relief- I was worried you were going to say pantyhose are a must or something similar 😄 or natural fibers only.
I wear tights or leggings under skirts all winter, and socks with either! They keep my feet warm and help the feet of my tights hold up longer.
I’m 100+ pages into your book and very much enjoying it. And my husband doesn’t seem to be getting tired of “Leila says…” yet (and even asks me what the chapter I’m reading is about!)
Katie says
Oh and I wear tanks under everything, they are necessary when nursing to keep my belly and back covered, very helpful except at the very very end of pregnancy to fill that gap when all the shirts are too short, and I’ve just gotten used to wearing them so that I do on those rare in between months too. For non-maternity I get Sonoma tanks at Kohls.
Leila says
There is a good discussion about nursing and camis and so on, on one of my nursing posts — I think the Nursing Thoughts one.
Maggie says
Great post! I like these jeans for casual days — no hardware at the top, and they are nicely slimming and light (not a lot of extra fabric to drag you down and look odd over shoes). Though I suspect they may not work as well for women with wider hips, they seem to have lots of great reviews from women of many sizes and shapes. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0758M18G3/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Maggie says
Another tip: I buy almost ALL my clothes (except intimates) on ebay or Thredup or at used stores like Goodwill. There’s a huge selection on both websites, and you can customize search by size, color, style, etc. Thredup also offers a great “points” system and lots of deals and discounts. (You can also very easily send in old clothes to ThredUp which they sell for you on consignment, for store credit or cash.)
There’s such a glut of gently-used quality clothes in the world; we might as well benefit from the discounts! Frugality and good stewardship at once.
Leila says
I have to start looking at Goodwill online! I totally agree with your last sentence. We need to get this clothing thing under control!
Maggie says
Sorry — I think my wording was imprecise. ThredUp and ebay are both great online sources IMO, and Goodwill is a good brick-and-mortar source, in my experience. Goodwill may have good stuff online, but not to my knowledge!
Maggie says
And here are my favorite jeans for casual days — cheap, slimming, and no awkward hardware at the top! I am slender and nearly hip-less, but there are great reviews from women of all shapes and sizes.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0758M18G3/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Leila says
Good to hear from you, Maggie!
I have to say those jeans are too tight!
Try the ones I posted. They have spandex and move with you, but their styling is not “jeggings” which I think is important for modesty — unless you are wearing these jeans with a full tunic.
Maggie says
Thanks! Regarding those jeans — is the 6 actually a 6? Do they not come in smaller sizes? I usually wear a 2 or a 4.
Leila says
Ah, that I do not know. I think they run small but probably not that small. There are also JAG jeans that avoid the jeggings look, and I wonder if you search, if Amazon will give you other suggestions.
Juliana @ Urban Simplicity says
I wear skirts/dresses all year and tights three seasons of the year and wanted to say about a few words about tights: Foot Traffic Signature Cotton Tights are a great option for cold but not brutal cold weather. They have a really nice waistband, fit a lot of sizes (I wore mine 9 months pregnant!), come in a bunch of colors, and can be darned. Sock Dreams carries the brand, but you can order them directly from the company as well. Foot Traffic also makes a microfiber version that is fine as well.
As for microfiber tights, I prefer Snag Tights in fall/spring. Snag Tights are made for all body types, and they are the best of this type of tight I’ve found, since they are made to expand both vertically and horizontally (most tights only stretch vertically). I like their wool tights as well. I have several pairs of smartwool tights that I got on clearance a few years ago but it appears smartwool only offers footless or legging styles now. I prefer tights to footless+socks since I don’t wear shoes in the house and feel more put together in tights+house shoes.
There are some bias-cut maxi length wool blend skirts available on amazon that are quite warm, lined, with elastic backed waists and POCKETS. They usually run between $35-40 and come in a variety of patterns and colors. I like this brand: https://smile.amazon.com/IDEALSANXUN-Womens-Elastic-Winter-Medium/dp/B07VMKGCSY/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=wool+skirt&qid=1643593813&sr=8-2 and have had several of their skirts. The plaid ones are VERY warm (almost like a blanket), and the non plaid are a nice mid-weight.
As for bras. I like this calculator to figure out size: https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php. I’ve been professionally fitted many times, but never had a bra that really fit until I used that calculator. I’m not particularly well endowed, and have nursed four babies, so things are pretty sorry in that department at this stage of my life. That said, I still had to try on a LOT of bras in my proper size before finding a handful that I liked the feel of.
And about slips. I wear a slip almost every day, except when I wear a skirt that’s lined (usually one I made myself), and basic nylon slips have gotten harder to find, although not impossible. There are also slips that are designed to visually lengthen a too-short dress or skirt, which I mention since apparently a lot of dress manufacturers think a 20-21″ skirt is knee length? I’m barely 5’5″ and that would be micromini on me. (I am proportioned with my height between my waist and knees, but still…) I bought from a shop that is out of business now, but these are similar: https://www.etsy.com/listing/221052366/f1-lace-slip-dress-skirt-extender-style?click_key=f098144239588114851291d3f67f4595a100e6e2%3A221052366&click_sum=e823165f&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=a+slip+shop&ref=sr_gallery-1-3&organic_search_click=1&frs=1
I also second the recommendation for ThredUp! I make most of my clothes, but I get most of what I don’t make there.
Maggie says
ThredUp also has kids’ stuff and a huge maternity section, FYI. 🙂
Iris says
Just wanted to add a good word for the miniskirt. Yes, they are not suitable for everyone, being more suited for tall women and those with long or very shapely legs. And yes, an alarmingly short miniskirt is, well, alarming. That said, an ordinary miniskirt can look very good on women with attractive knees–and they do exist!
Miniskirts can be appropriate! They are versatile! They can be comfortable! And they will still look good (if they ever did) when other elements of the wardrobe no longer fit your pregnant, nursing, or postpartum body.
Thanks for this great post about wardrobe essentials. It took me ages to learn that things like rain boots, silk long underwear, properly fitting bras, scarves and wool coats and real leather boots–these are not shameless extravagances, but valuable investments in health and comfort.
Leila says
I hear you, Iris — let me just say that if you are young, it can work, more so if you are wearing tights. And I’m not talking about working in the garden in August or at the beach (I personally detest shorts!).
But to you older women (but not as old as you think), I will say, find one that goes just to your knees (speaking about attractiveness — in the dead of winter even a below-knee skirt is not warm enough for any outdoor time and I like midi for that reason).
When I see pictures that even very fashionable over-30 women post, professional photos, where they are wearing a length above the knee, I just think how much nicer it would have been had the hem been AT their knee or a bit below. Not only for coverage but in terms of proportions.
There’s a reason we just LOVE 50s vintage photos of women…
And I say this as someone who always had slender legs (in fact, until I was about 30, my legs seemed too thin to me!).
Erin says
Have you seen these? https://www.chadwicks.com/itemdy00.aspx?ID=519,5908&T1=HD140+BLH+22W
and https://www.chadwicks.com/itemdy00.aspx?ID=519,5908&T1=HD145+BK+10
They remind me of the jeans you linked to on amazon, but in corduroy and twill.
Leila says
Those look very nice! I wonder how the hips are. I just don’t really have hips haha…consequently, some pants can look very dowdy on me. But if they are cut well, they could work! Off to read reviews…
Blayne says
I’m enjoying all the skirt discussions! I’ve been wearing dresses exclusively for about 5 years now, and I just can’t say how much happier I am to not be obsessing over how my thighs look in jeans (which—is not great; and I’m a small person! Lol)
Elizabeth says
I’ve only ordered one dress so far (I got this one https://www.eshakti.com/productdetail.aspx?productid=CL0083099), but I have been pleasantly surprised with eShakti. Not super cheap, but very reasonable, and I was surprised with how well-made it is. I’m talking bra strap clips, thick knit material (that hasn’t pilled after many washings so far), and interior hidden buttons to prevent gaping at the chest.
So many modest styles and I think almost everything is customizable in terms of skirt length and sleeve length.
Just wanted to put that plug in in case someone is looking for dresses/skirts/tunics/etc! I’m looking forward to ordering from them again!
Molly R says
Thank you for that link! I have teen and tween daughters, and it’s so hard to find skirts that we can agree on…junior skirts are way too short, and women’s skirts tend to be too long for their style. I love that you can customize the length on these skirts!
Amy says
A word on panty griddles. I have some back problems and after a couple terribly uncomfortable suggestions my Dr. asked if I wear a panty griddle. (I did not. The horror) I tried a few and found one that does provide enough support that really did help. My other advice is that everyone should be fitted for bras and buy a good one.
Rebecca says
If the world were a place of justice, skirts would come lined and you wouldn’t need a slip, but we live in barbaric times… Honestly, some of your lines make me laugh out loud. You have received holy gift of “humour”.
Leila says
😂
Katie says
Just a plug for sewing your own, another lost art for women. Underwear and slips are simple to make, and you can adjust for leg, rise and back coverage per your preference. Bras: I found it necessary to learn to make my own. I couldn’t afford a properly fitting bra (small frame larger cup) which most discount stores do not stock. Most cups after “D” go up 2-3 sizes per cup letter, so that a 32D is too small, and a 32DD is enormous. A well-fitting bra will change the way you look and feel, helping with back discomfort and I’m not kidding, arm motility. I was stunned when I left behind the ill-fitting foam domes that are being sold to us! There are now plenty of options for wired and wireless in tons of styles (balconette, full coverage, Demi, etc). Talk about a boost in confidence and skill–not to mention the benefits of having well-fitting undergarments in colors and styles that I like.
Leila says
Love it!
Catherine says
Katie, any tips for learning to sew clothes? I can do bags and quilts and even a baptism gown, but I’ve never attempted garment sewing.
Suzie says
I am coming back to this post as winter draws in and UK energy prices are going crazy, and I wanted to share a recent find.
Tights are SO difficult to buy, aren’t they? My pet peeve is waistbands that aren’t as stretchy as the rest of the tights so they feel like they’re cutting me in half. I’m very short (even shorter than Auntie Leila, I believe!) and sort of small to medium sized, so the legs are always too long and I spend half the day yanking them up – which doesn’t feel very modest to me!
But no longer!
I am the proud owner of SIX pairs of these fabulous tights, and they really fit: https://snagtights.com/collections/wool-tights Nary a yank to be seen all day, truly. They come in real honest-to-goodness SIZES. They wash just fine in the machine (hang dry) and are very warm. With a pair of long johns hidden underneath, even the dampest British wind can’t touch me. (Though wait until February for the real test…)
I truly am just a keen reader and newfound fan of these tights which have solved my skirt and dress problems. I used to dread putting tights on and hated the end of bare-leg season, and now I am so happy to put on a pretty dress every day.