Making a home takes a lot of thought!
Let's take bedding. This will be a really trivial example, but I know you are up for it.
How many beds do I have in my house? I'm not sure I even know… 9? not counting cribs or the pullout sofa or mattresses stowed under the beds in case of a sudden influx; all of which do need sheets and so on?
That's a lot of bedding. One day I was looking at a pair of cute pillowcases in a thrift store and I thought, well, why not mix and match? Only the pillowcases and the tops of the top sheets show, and sheets don't wear out the way the cases do.
To keep the cases that go with the sheets from wearing out first (which is what happens), I use them on the bottom of the two pillows on the adults' beds. Where the single beds' pillowcases have worn out, I just have been using whatever thrifted pillowcase is available (and that works well — I like the look of the vintage ones I have found).
I also started buying pairs of white ones at Marshall's or TJMaxx when I came across them, especially on clearance.
But I find my OCD twitching when I can't find the matches for my double beds, though I try to keep them together in the laundry. What's to match, you might ask? Well, some have one kind of little trim, others have a slight weave variation, and so on… it's impossible to contemplate them not matching exactly without danger of hyperventilation!
One even later day in the life of my housekeeping (that is, about three weeks ago), I wondered if I could just buy white pillowcases in bulk. In the same vein as having non-unique socks, a good supply of identical pillowcases is quite liberating.
Of course, the challenge is evaluating the quality, but I took the plunge. These are fine, and come in packs of 12. (Edited to say, actually, the ones I ordered are no longer available in that quantity, but I am leaving the link here so that I can find it again. Maybe you can go in with 10 of your closest friends — it would be cheaper!)
They are not satiny, particularly, though a lot of the reviews say they are, and they are not percale, but they are cotton and certainly not microfiber [shudder]. (I suppose I could have ironed them… not really… )
As you can see, I still have my flannel sheets on my bed… I'm hoping that can change soon… spring is not too far off!
bits & pieces
- Leila Miller put together a book, Primal Loss, that lets adult children of divorce say what they really think. I am an adult child of divorce and I can say without hesitation that this book offered me insight about and healing of the trauma I suffered as a child and still bear the scars of today. She wrote a post to respond to those who denigrate the message of the book: You're Not Mocking Me, You're Mocking Them.
- An important, well researched article about the pervasiveness of aborted fetal parts in our medical supply (and elsewhere too, but that's for another time). Do we give in? Or do we resist? I wrote about this too, here.
- Another life-affirming post from John Cuddeback: When a Man Proposes.
- The Doublethinkers by Natan Sharansky. Sharansky spent nine years in Soviet prison.
“In the democratic society in which you live, can you express your individual views loudly, in public and in private, on social media and at rallies, without fear of being shamed, excommunicated, or cancelled?”
- A list of dough sizes by weight! Hooray! I personally would go ahead and round up or down these measurements, but they are nevertheless extremely helpful when you are like me and totally winging it when it comes to mixing dough, but needing to know what the heck size buns, pizza round, loaf, bagel, or what have you, to form! Or for that matter, you have an oddly shaped pan or a recipe that you'd like to convert from one sort of shape to another.
from the archives
- One question was — have you planted your seeds too soon, Auntie Leila? Well, it is unusually cold here! However, the sap is flowing and soon I hope to set up my little DIY greenhouse, where I can move my cold-tolerant seedlings and make room for my tender ones!
- It's good for mother to be in the kitchen — but that doesn't mean you can't be efficient! Learn how to stash away certain ingredients and prepared items to streamline your food prep. 12 Things to Stash!
liturgical living
All the saints who give spiritual advice tell us the same thing: we must pray! Start with five minutes a day (there's your Lent for you!) and here is a suggestion fit for “liturgical living”: if you aren't already praying the Office of Readings in the Liturgy of the Hours, perhaps occasionally you could use the 2nd reading, which is usually a little sermon or treatise from a Church Father, in your prayer. I can't tell you how many times this reading has struck an arrow right into my heart! You can find the Office here — look for “Office of Readings,” click, and scroll down to the 2nd reading (of course, praying the whole thing is a good idea too!). (We can discuss the Traditional Divine Office vs. the Novus Ordo Liturgy of the Hours another time.)
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Rachel Di Fonzo says
I love your calling your family barbarians when it comes to breakfast. I often called our seven sons the same- lovingly, of course. And the Doublethink article was truly compelling.
Abigail Badillo says
All white pillowcases – genius! My mom and I were just discussing how the quality (and lastingness) of sheets and pillowcases has diminished over the past 30 years. My suggestion to her for the pillowcases (sheets are presumably harder, because you have to find special super wide fabric) is to make your own!! It’s a project so easy I’ve done it with my kids, even ones with french seams and a little trim. A yard and a quarter of fabric means you can likely make each case for about $10, which is a huge savings over purchased ones. There’s a great tutorial here: https://makeit-loveit.com/sew-3-pillowcases-3-ways.
At this time of year, it is good to have a sewing project to keep oneself from eyeing the not-spring outside too despairingly. When I have indoor projects I want to complete before gardening season, the last dregs of winter seem to go down easier!
Sarah says
I second this! Sometimes I even make pillowcases from the un-worn-out sections of old sheets. (Mismatched pillowcases don’t bother me.)
Bethanne says
I began to read Primal Loss and had to stop, again and again. It was difficult reading because it dredged up a lot for me about my parents divorcing. I still have not finished it. I would have to agree with Mrs. Miller that those who deride it cannot have read it.
On a much funnier note…the link to the pillowcases gives you a case of 120. When I saw the price, I gulped. It seemed so unlike you to spend $390.92 for 12 pillow cases!
Leila says
Oh haha I will have to fix that! (Nor do I need 120 pillowcases!)
Leila says
Although, you could save money by going in with your co-op…
Abigail Badillo says
Oh yes, that’s why I thought it was more frugal to make your own – I did the math on you saying 12, and $390, and thought $30+ per pillowcase seemed really steep! But $3 apiece is a great bargain!
Chia says
I do believe that marriage is sacred, so my question is what to recommend to my sister who is in a dangerous marriage with little kids who are also not safe?
Leila says
Chia, if someone is not safe and if the children are not safe, then she has a duty to go somewhere where she will be safe.
Those who advise her have a duty to assess the situation objectively, with prudence.
Nevertheless, even when married people are separated, *even if the separation is permanent*, their marriage still exists and is still sacred. That is the reality we have to witness to.
Anamaria Scaperlanda Biddick says
I just listened to a podcast where they denigrated “the book,” as the guest was getting divorced and said “we know this is bad for children, but there are some things that are worse.” Its true, there are some things that are worse, but that makes the book all the more necessary to know what those really things are.
(The guest also said, “I was married for 18 years and now I’m not,” really denying the reality of marriage. And she, who has made herself a public celebrity ON CATHOLIC MARRIAGE was super offended that anyone found the court filings and talked about her getting divorced before she announced it. I don’t think it’s right that anyone did that, of course, but if you make yourself into a celebrity and mostly talk about marriage and contribute to books about marriage with your husband, what do you think will happen????)
I read a lot more Jacques Philippe, Josef Pieper, and novels than any of these whose-who Catholic “influencers” but I knew who she was and I was still scandalized by her divorce, which was compounded by the way she talked about.
Anyway, great response by Leila Miller.
Abigail Badillo says
Ditto. I’ve felt really heavily burdened this year by the divorces of several high profile Catholic/Christian people, and by one among my friends. It has hit me in a weirdly hard way, because it begins to feel like a) it could happen to anyone and b) like the devil is putting a hit on marriage at the moment. I absolutely understand that there may be very extenuating circumstances, but as Catholics wouldn’t we say “separated” and maybe “legally divorced” but always in some sense be open to and praying for reconciliation?
Anamaria says
Yes, the day before I listened to the podcast, I watched a British murder mystery. The victim in the episode was a woman of ill repute, drug addicted, a danger to her own daughter, etc. they interviewed the family- including the estranged husband who called her his wife throughout the entire episode. This fictional 1965 northern British catholic man spoke to the reality of marriage in these circumstances where it was impossible to live together more than anything in that podcast. Reconciliation was all but impossible yet she remained his wife to the last.
(Which is to say nothing of the reality of grace in those seemingly impossible situations)
Serena says
Well this is a much less serious question but I’m curious as to why you do not like microfiber sheets? Just wondering 😊 – I’ve enjoyed the sets we have had and they are very soft. Do they not last? Or is there something I am missing? I want to invest in quality sheets but they can get expensive – and right now I only have the six beds I have to outfit 😆.
Much love to you Auntie Leila and your family! Hooray that spring is on her way!
Leila says
First, I think that sleeping with synthetic fabrics is not going to be good, because they don’t breathe and they quickly get dirty. Think of the difference between a cotton t-shirt and a polyester one. The synthetics trap every odor, everything. When you sleep, you give off lots of… emanations… that need to dissipate.
Second, I think that very quickly they will not be nice. Cotton (or even a cotton blend, which is better than all-synthetic) wears by getting thinner and softer, not by degrading. Again, think of that poly t-shirt and how unpresentable it looks quite quickly. One can never describe it as “crisp”!
And third, the knit aspect is something I don’t like, again because of the lack of crispness. A woven shirt can be worn again; a t-shirt (knit) has to be washed. Sheets (especially for kids) need to stay on the beds for a while and not cry out for laundering right away!
Sheets are expensive but you can often find them at thrift stores and I have good luck at Marshall’s and Homegoods. A good set of cotton sheets should last 10 years. It would have been more a few decades ago, sadly.