The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
(This will all look and work better if you click on the actual post and do not remain on the main page.)
Just getting back from a visit with some grandchildren, including our newest in our Nick's family, Nicholas Fitz! He is a darling who no one can put down — we had such a wonderful time snuggling with him!
Don't forget to enter the giveaway for Mr. Mehan's Mildly Amusing Mythical Mammals! Two winners from the blog and one from my IG post. Do share, please! We appreciate it so much. We'll pick winners on Thursday.
I had a lovely interview with Amber O'Hearn on her podcast, Diapers and Disciples! We talked at length about homeschooling and particularly living the liturgical life at home, the means by which we help our children grow in faith — and ourselves too. I would be honored if you would give a listen — it goes live Monday morning!
On to our links! (I don't have anything here about the current crisis, not because I don't want to address it, obviously, but because it's too hard right now to post something definitive about it that expresses what I think. You can follow me on Facebook if you want to join the conversation there and see what I share — my posts are public.)
- I always say, reading about C. S. Lewis is the next best thing to reading C. S. Lewis, and this post is about how he came to renew his interest in science fiction. I remember this, quoted here: “Bigness in itself is of no imaginative value: the defence of a ‘galactic’ empire is less interesting than the defence of a little walled town like Troy.”
- This article is about effeminacy in the seminary, but I think it's worth a read for parents in general. I would say that in our society, women dominate the raising of children in an unhealthy way, and I would even venture to say that homeschooling can exacerbate this defect. We need to understand how boys should act and how we can make it possible for them to avoid effeminacy (pro-tip: let Dad have his way; try not to interfere). I am not talking about a stupid macho brute mode, but about normal male behavior that has become unacceptable to our feminized culture. The article explains very well what is at issue here.
- The restoration of a church that I'm sure many of us would have been grateful for in its “before” (actually “during”) state, so impoverished have we become; now it's glowing. The final note indicates that the altar rails are back in use!
From the archives:
Two saints today, St. Louis IX and St. Joseph Calasanz.
We’d like to be clear that, when we direct you to a site via one of our links, we’re not necessarily endorsing the whole site, but rather just referring you to the individual post in question (unless we state otherwise).
Anon7 says
Congratulations to you all–he is adorable! Such a stern expression–it made me laugh!
Thank you for the ideas concerning raising boys into men and avoiding the character flaws that over-bearing but misguided moms *sometimes* exhibit that could lead them to avoid being good, honorable and holy men. What should we do if the only role model they have is “a stupid macho brute” for the family patriarch? As much as I love and respect many things about their father, I am not interested in them continuing this myopic way of growing up. We have discussed it at length, and have yet to come to a workable solution. I am trying to help us “forge excellent parenting” without overstepping my bounds as the Mum… I’d love to hear your thoughts and solutions when you can!
katycarl says
Majorly following! Cultural weirdness in every direction makes this question so hard to discern, and hashing out a satisfying articulation of what’s what can often prove challenging, you know? And I like to articulate stuff. 🙂
Tia says
I feel like it’s also tough in the opposite direction — it’s not so uncommon in this society for women to be married to men who have no idea what it means to be a man in many ways. If the man is not self-sacrificing, prefers their own comfort to the difficult-but-honorable path, and gives up in the face of difficulties, will children learn these skills from a mother’s example?
Leila says
Women, respect your husbands does not mean “if he is a good an honorable man, not a brute” — it means respect his manhood, even in the breach. (Just as “husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church” does not mean “if she is a true prize”!) This is not easy — and it does not mean being a doormat, either. (Often the “doormat-y women are the most emasculating, anyway.)
It would be hard for me to address specific marital problems here; it would be hard for me to give advice about men who are too macho or men who are too lacking in get-up-and-go. All I can say is that there are a million ways women have of letting their men know they have no confidence in them. Try to be affirming of men AS men and of boys AS boys. Give them their space to be loud and gross, or what we think of as loud and gross. It doesn’t have to be inside. Let them be male. Let go. Read the article and ponder; pray for good men in your sons’ lives.
Shyla says
Congratulations on the newest grandbaby!! He’s precious! God Bless you all! beautiful family! Xoxo
Kate says
‘ve thought more and more that one of the downsides of homeschooling is too much mom time that negatively effects boys. I kept running into homeschool boys who are timid and soft. Good kids, but missing something masculine. One of the things that has turned my son off to the priesthood are the number of “not-masculine” priests he’s met. I’ve been very fortunate that my husband has worked at home for most of our schooling years, so our kids get a lot of dad time. Blessed man that he is, he even has helped with the schooling. My kids in college said that their classmates were surprised to learn that they were homeschooled because they didn’t seem like typical homeschoolers. At first, I though, “My goodness, I’ve failed.” Then we discussed it and the kids thought it was because they had a wider view of the world, their faith, politics than their peers. They attributed that to the influence of their father. A woman’s view tends to be more insular or homely and mother’s tend to favor protection rather than risk. A lot of kids are delivered to college wrapped in cellophane (to borrow a phrase from Dr. John Senior). It’s taken a good deal of humility and trust to listen to my husband’s parenting input, but it’s been worth it. Our boys are musical, artistic, well-read, and have a variety of different practical skills. No one would call them effeminate.
Lindsay says
Thank you for your comment— as the mother of 2 young boys that we plan to homeschool, I’d been ruminating on Leila’s brief comment all day… your input helps me picture how we might proceed!
Helena says
Congratulations! What a darling boy! Also, many thanks to Phil: he is doing God’s work on behalf of the weak. I’m so grateful for his courage, prudence, and love of justice.
I’m really glad you’re talking about effeminacy, and would love to see a whole post on this. Some conservative commentators seem to be making some pretty big (and unjust jumps) between women’s influence/femininity to effeminacy to homosexuality to abuse. (Not the article you link to, which was very thoughtful.) Women are obviously physically weaker, but I think of the Mother of the Maccabees, Judith, Monica, Perpetua, Mother Theresa, etc. It seems to me like part of the problem isn’t the influence of women on these corrupt priests/bishops/cardinals, but the lack of interest in relationships with women in any meaningful sense. (Obviously, only partly … there are so many issues coming into play here.) I don’t mean that in a reductive sexual way, but that they live in a world of hyper-sexualized “its” rather than the complementary world of male and female, which is essential for all of us whether lived out in marriage, or priests/monks “in love” with Mary and the Church as Bride. Please share your thoughts!
Leila says
Thanks, Helena!
I think you would love Wendy Shalit’s Return to Modesty (I included it in my St. Greg’s Pocket reading list in this morning’s post).
I think you are really onto something and she explains it too. We need a world of order, including the order of complementarity — an order that reflects something beautiful in the universe.
We need women who are feminine and fierce like the Mother of the Maccabees (who prefigured Our Lady, something to think about when we put her in a box marked “gentle” and tie it up with a bow) and who can offer their sons a good complement to what they are learning about themselves as they grow up. We need men who are knights! Willing to protect and defend.
When a woman loves and admires her husband, and he loves, admires, and protects her (dying for her as Christ died on the Cross), they create a stable home life where boys can develop properly. Girls too. We need to appreciate each others’ differences and see them not as attacks but as ways we grow in mutual love and help. What would we do without each other??
Ingrid says
Congratulations! 🙂
Margaret says
I agree about the danger of homeschooling boys, especially older ones. It’s important to remember that in the past, a teenage boy would never have been primarily under a woman’s supervision. He would either be away at an all-male school, working alongside his father, apprenticed to a trade, etc. Of course, it’s a difficult decision, and the alternatives often have their own problems.
Melisa says
Praised be Jesus Christ! What a beautiful baby boy. I called my children to the computer so they could all “ooh and aah” over his pictures. (Because a new baby is always good news!) Congratulations to all of you.
So glad to see your post about The Red Horse. I highly recommend that book too. Excellent, excellent novel.
God bless,
Melisa
Amy says
Leila, thanks for your conservative voice! I tried to click on the Facebook link but got a message saying the post was removed or no longer available. Have you been censored? If so, you must be doing something right!
Amy says
It appears that it’s just the link to Facebook in your blog post that’s broken. I can see your Facebook page when I click on the Facebook icon.
Leila M Lawler says
Thanks! Maybe it has to do with me being logged in? I will try to fix it. In any case, you can find me on FB: Leila Marie Lawler.
Stephanie says
Congratulations on your new grandbaby and God bless you and your family! I look forward to listening to the podcast! 🙂
Victoria says
Congratulations on the newest little one! He’s so precious! Looking forward to reading/listening to everything.