The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
(This will all look and work better if you click on the actual post and do not remain on the main page.)
Our week has been glorious. I went up to the library to get a book and was made so happy by the unfurling leaves, the blue sky, and the bright copula of the church. Spring at last…
… Until today, when our baby, Bridget, graduates from Thomas More College. We are going to have to pull off that New England thing where you try to look seasonal but are actually braced against the cold rain and mud. Ah well…
Things have been busy around here (as they must be when you not only live near your child's college, but your husband teaches there as well!). But I couldn't let another week go by without a bits & pieces, could I?
Here's my quick (not great!) snap of Bridget just before defending her senior thesis, on the role of story in apprehending the truth:
And here some of the students are after last night's dinner with family under the tent. As we walked away I thought of how different the sounds are coming from behind us from those of probably most colleges. Real music — loud, yes, but not from any amplification! This isn't music that a corporation has deemed “what kids want” but what they themselves have internalized from the past — folk tunes and old songs that tell of an un-ironic world of love, loss, and maybe a little drunkenness! But not of nihilism or the sadness of a loss of hope. The sounds themselves are “in tune” with reality, not a clashing synthesized battle with it.
I think the music most of all expresses what I want for everyone's children. There are few, very few places where you can find it. One place should be our own home — another our church (not folk tunes about getting a little drunk, obviously! but the chant of worship) — and another should be the school. Music forms the soul — what good is it to learn important facts or even lofty philosophy if the music we hear and make doesn't participate in beauty? (How many of us think of music as something we make?)
On to our links!
I assume you know that at least some of the links that I post here, I have in mind for you to share with your inquiring offspring — at least I know that my kids would have liked to have seen interesting articles or videos, and then would have been more open to me handing them a book that explored the subject further.
- The most Brit thing you will read today: Letters to the editor that decry the identification of a phrase as being written in iambic pentameter.
And then most of the time I just want to share what I've been reading in case you have something to say about it all…
- Love, love, love the books of the Provensens. The obituary for Alice. “When she won the Carle Honors award from the Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art in Massachusetts, she told an interviewer, ‘Let’s face it, it’s not a jab in the eye with a stick.'”
- Hannah Arendt on propaganda and the lies that we are made to tell: “Arendt and others recognized, writes Levy, that ‘being made to repeat an obvious lie makes it clear that you’re powerless.'”
- The importance of imagination to faith. Some good points. I maintain that it is through the sort of childhood and family life that we remember here at Like Mother, Like Daughter, that children's imaginations are formed — that the process is a natural one when a beneficial environment and necessary qualities are present. (This essay is along the lines of Bridget's thesis, actually.)
- An overview of the studies on same-sex parenting and what it means to children. I don't actually think that we should base arguments about human nature on studies. There are some things that it's for the innovators to prove — the burden's on them, not on us, given that they are the ones who are overturning what everyone everywhere has always thought. However, since ideology is gaining power, it's worthwhile to know what the studies say.
- From Doug Mainwaring, a raw look at the loss at the heart of adoption.
- This is funny, in a bittersweet way — happy Mother's Day!
- This weekend, Mutu has 20% off with this code (you can read about this exercise program in Deirdre's review).
From the archives:
- I got an email from a reader who was, among other things, lamenting the occasional rudeness of her 12-year-old daughter. I have a post for that.
Today is the feast of Mary, Queen of the Apostles. She is their queen without herself being an apostle (though surely she, as the “highest honor of our race” ought to have been made the first Pope if women were to be priests!). Hans Urs von Balthasar says that this is because she has “other, and greater, powers.” Maybe think about that today!
We’d like to be clear that, when we direct you to a site via one of our links, we’re not necessarily endorsing the whole site, but rather just referring you to the individual post in question (unless we state otherwise).
Kim says
Congrats dear Bridget!
What are her post-college plans?
Melisa Capistrant says
I love the sound of her thesis topic – “the role of story in apprehending truth”. Congrats to Bridget (and to her parents, who must be so proud!) I like to think that’s why I read, and am especially fond of, fiction: I am hungry for truth and love a good story! I’m always tickled when I’m reading – in fact I’m always on the look-out for – some beautiful and true statement that I can add to my book of quotes that I’ve kept for 29 years. These are things I can go back and read and find inspiration in them.
I’ve heard of people who read only non-fiction. How sad that they don’t open themselves up to the beauty and truth to be found in stories… I know, for instance, that I have learned a lot more history by reading historical fiction, than by the textbooks I was assigned to read in my public high school. Very dry, and harder to retain things. Stories are much more interesting, and much more human!
Happy Mother’s Day to all!
Melisa
Heather says
I love the idea of making music and revelry and all that—but as a 30 something busy mother from a decidedly non musical family, I don’t know where to start. Starting my6 year old in piano lessons seems tedious and so far removed from the type of spontaneous music making you are talking about. And the thought of making a 6 yr old practice daily!? Help!
Jana says
Heather – No instruments? No problem! Just sing! Children are natural songbirds, and singing together is the easiest and most joyful way to start. Sing even if you might feel shy at first, for “If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.” (And just as with anything, we get better as we go along.)
As a beloved teacher used to say (quoting Christopher Columbus’s first mate upon hearing the salty sailors of the Santa Maria singing their evening Salve Regina…) “We are all singers, for we all have a throat.”
We love campfire songbooks, the original Nursery Rhyme tunes, and classic folk songs. You can get the books online or at the library and just start singing. Burl Ives or the Seegers or Elizabeth Mitchell have some very singable songs on youtube, and the Waldorf school has a great free database of folk songs and religious songs here: https://www.waldorfschoolsongs.com/overview-of-songs/ (just ignore the earth-mother ones)
Start with Frere Jaques and pretty soon, you and your children will be singing rounds in your own parts, and you’ll have a score of songs in your pocket for car rides, or that hangry before-supper table-setting time, or around the fire at night. Also, sing at prayer times – even the simplest songs – your children will love the sound of their Mother’s voice, and even better when Dad sings, too. I’m sure there’s a post about that somewhere on this blog : )
Alice says
As a music teacher myself, I love Jana’s idea of beginning to foster a love of music by singing in the home. I don’t have any children of my own yet, but I do teach other peoples’ children, so I can comment from that end of things. I would say that finding a good teacher is going to be a big part of making the process joyful, rather than tedious. Initially, most kids are excited just to be starting on an instrument, so they’ll practice anything you give them. After that, though, I think the biggest thing is to just give them real music to play. The pieces may be short and simple at first, but I’ve observed that nothing kills enthusiasm faster than giving a kid nothing to play but an interminable string of cheesy exercises from some dreadful method book. The students, however young, ABSOLUTELY know when they are being condescended to, musically, and I’ve never known any of them to appreciate that. So, what I’m trying to say, before I start writing a novel here, is find a teacher who uses actual music to teach, rather than just running through a series of method books alone. On that front, I can recommend perhaps finding a Suzuki method teacher, because in that system, the method book consists ONLY of real music, and it seems to keep the students pretty engaged. Also, can I recommend a book? The Perfect Wrong Note, by William Westney, examines why it is that music lessons do so often descend into tedium, and lays out a whole philosophy of practice that combats it. It’s an excellent book for anyone, I think, even those who are more in the business of appreciating music, rather than making it. 🙂 It has certainly made a big difference not only to my teaching, but also my practicing!
Leila M Lawler says
Heather, sing together AND find a good teacher! Jana and Alice are both on track. If you can swing it, piano lessons are a good idea. There’s structure to music and our children need to learn it — but it should be just like reading! We learn to read with lessons but we certainly don’t ONLY recite poetry perfectly with hands clasped behind our backs. And we not only read, we write!
Same with music, but somehow we’ve gotten into a terrible model of churning out pieces and then displaying them once, at the end of the year.
Yes, I have posts and links about all this. I don’t know where you live, but I bet you can find someone to teach your child who is creative about it. And do sing!
Jess says
I have been wondering about how to get my brood musically trained as well. Something about the photos from Christmas on this blog and something Anthony Esolen has written recently about cultivating the “human pursuits” has really resonated with me. But how to do it? Do you choose the instruments for your children, or let them decide? Should you focus on instruments that are portable for sing-a-longs and the like? I really would love for my daughter to take up the harp — not so portable, but beautiful. Bad choice? One of my sons is interested in bagpipes. I have never known anyone who plays the bagpipes! But your Christmas pictures have given me a little glimpse into what I would like our future to look like — sharing in the human pursuits with family and friends.
Dixie says
Yes, Heather, I agree with Jana — you just have to sing while you’re doing things! Then they will understand that making music is just part of life. Sing songs you know, get a songbook or two, or make up songs about the kids/their toys/what you’re doing. You don’t have to be good at it. Start reallly small. The kids will lap it up! If you sing, eventually they will sing, too.
Stephanie in Germany says
Congratulations Bridget!
The Mothers Day article is “bittersweet” as you said. I was snickering throughout until the last 2 sentences. It hit hard, and I am feeling it with #2 leaving in a couple of months. Yes, I have 2 more still at home, but time is passing quickly and each child’s flight leaves it’s mark… Have you ever written about this , Leila?
Leila M Lawler says
Stephanie, my posts about Casti Connubii (subsequently made into the ebook God Has No Grandchildren, linked on the sidebar) try to point out that while marriage is for procreation, family life is really about building a home. Being devoted to our children alone is not actually having things in the right order. We love our children so much and they bring so much to our lives, but the goal is that they leave and make their own homes! Our marriage is the foundation of the building; the building is the home. It’s as the children begin to leave that we (hopefully) rediscover, if we had forgotten it, that the first (primary) object of our love is our spouse. Love is sacrifice, and sacrifice we will.
These realities are how we know for sure that we are not made for this world! There is something more waiting for us…
Adele says
Singing can also be hillariously useful in dealing with discipline issues that come up over and over. We used to sing Let it Snow with the words “Kelsey its time to go” with my sister who could never get out the door. Singing randomly about what you are doing or trying to do makes everyone laugh and at least you aren’t yelling. Slightly random but about singing
Ginni says
Dear Auntie Leila,
Dare I dream that my daughters’ college experience resembles your dear Bridget’s college experience? They are young, 12 and 8, but I wish them to find a place that embraces their joyful life of Catholicism, their love for playing beautiful music, and maybe meet some other good friends who join them on their learning journey. Is that naive? Just writing that out loud lets me know that it is my heart’s fondest hope for them as they become young adults. I feel that pull so much. We homeschool right now. But it has been on my mind for a while to find a college where all parts of them will thrive, not just in academics. You give me renewed hope for our girls and their futures. Thank you for posting.
Congratulations to Bridget and to your whole family!
Sarah says
I’m so tremendously sad. I have a friend, “married” to his spouse, and the two are adopting a newborn baby boy very soon. A young teenage mom has chosen the two men to adopt her child. It’s been very celebrated in our circles on social media—car seat installation at the police department, baby showers, nursery pictures… I can’t help but weep that this baby is being robbed of a mother. A MOTHER.
What do you think? Should I be praying for an eleventh-hour change of heart from this young mama?
Leila says
What can you do but pray?
Anne Marie says
One might also fast.
Sometimes it is appropriate to say something, too. For example, when my beloved friend told me that he and his same-sex partner were adopting, I did feel called to say something, as we are talking about a child’s right to a mother and father.
(If someone as prone to human respect and people-pleasing as me can do it, anyone can!)
Though I lost his cherished friendship as a result, I have a lot of hope. And I can sleep at night knowing I spoke the truth, albeit “out of season.”
Be not afraid! “One word of truth outweighs the whole world.” – Alexander Solzhenitsyn
Leila says
Yes, fast and pray. And when I think “fast” I also think “offering up” — let’s be in the habit of offering up the little annoyances that crop up all the time for the sanctification of those we love, near and far.
Leila says
Anne Marie, you were brave and did the right thing! God bless you!
spindlitis says
I think that one of the best ways to get more music into your family’s life is to learn to make it yourself! I am taking up the dulcimer, which is probably one of the easiest stringed instruments to play. There are so many ways to take lessons online these days.
My stepson’s baby is due in June. (They’re naming him Abraham. How cool is that?) She seems to be having an easy pregnancy and they both seem to be looking forward to the birth. We visited this weekend and they really seem to be settling in. Still working on subtle ways to encourage them to marry. I like this girl. She’s going to be a great mom and she genuinely seems to care about him, which is nice after his flakey girlfriends. And he is making an effort to be nice to his dad.