The weekly “little of this, like of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
Yesterday I went to the abortion clinic in Worcester, Massachusetts to pray. Surprised to see so many there, I remembered about the impending blizzard and the cancelled buses.
I'm going to say that I think this is better. I'm all for lobbying Congress and showing numbers, but if there were this many people outside this God-forsaken black hole in the city every week — including two bishops! — it would soon close down.
It is the coldest place on earth in more ways than one.
Afterwards, I stopped at the Goodwill just to see, since it's not one I usually go to.
A number of years ago I found this sweet set there for a pittance (probably under $10):
Including these little plates and shallow bowls, which I use all the time, actually (so they live in the kitchen):
Well, imagine my gratification when I came across these pieces in the foreground!
Five more little plates, bringing my total to 12, a saucer, bringing my total to 7 (so I'm still missing one), and very petite bowls which I'm sure will come in handy but anyway, I wasn't leaving them behind.
Score!
I also found this larger (but still small), random sweet plate. I find this kind really useful for putting out a nice cheese (and I have two little glass domes that work perfectly with this sort of plate), or a few cookies on a buffet:
And I like how it looks on my plate rack:
On to our links:
- This past week I was pleasantly surprised to see that Crisis Magazine published a piece of mine a little ahead of when they told me they might. See what you think: Auntie Leila on Three Liturgical Changes We Need Now.
- Along the lines of our getting organized posts, I found this discussion of Theodore Roosevelt's time-management to be helpful. For me, a busy day can be much more productive than a slow day, and I think it's because I know I have to focus on my tasks and get them done efficiently — or as the Chief likes to quote, “Work expands to fit the time available.” We need to teach our children this as well.
- This video about “how to play the piano” is just silly and funny. Spoiler: You don't learn to play the piano.
- Fr. James Schall, SJ on mercy: Mercy Begins Where Justice Ends. I find that Fr. Schall combines the ability to explain something complicated with an understanding of what might be troubling me, and has only gotten more readable the older he becomes.
- Maybe it's worthwhile to record things in journals after all — I mean, the facts, like how much snow fell and what you did about it — like Thomas Jefferson or some other interesting Founder.
- “Let the climate change you” — do nothing when faced with a blizzard! No really — do nothing.
A dear reader — was it in the comments? did she email me? — ugh, Auntie Leila loses track sometimes — is convinced all right not to knit with subpar yarn. But when you live on one income and have little children who cut down on your thrifting opportunities, where and how do you get good yarn without breaking the bank?
Well, my experience is that you need to go thrifting or have a lot of money (please don't do too much thrifting if you have a lot of money — leave the goodies for the rest of us, and actually, donate yours!). You can certainly find things online in the clearance sections of the yarn sites. But it's better to poke around in the clearance sections of actual yarn stores, just so you can handle the yarn and know that you really want it — since it will be quite random. (I gave some tips for thrifting in general in this post and as usual, there are great comments!)
- There's also this technique, which would work well for hats and mittens, explained in this video:
From the archives:
The other day I was shopping and couldn't help noticing a nice gal with her two little girls, implementing the latest technique for managing a child's behavior. (“Do this one thing to make your child behave! This one trick will solve your problems!” Always involving mirroring their words and making sure you explain you understand them and offering choices.)
It wasn't working. Her around-four-year-old was being a pain and — surprise! not listening, the toddler was threatening mutiny, and most of all, mom wasn't enjoying the outing.
- I wanted to say — “Don't manage behavior! Put in the effort so that you enjoy each other!” I wanted her to read this post from a while ago: Your Child Needs Less Patience From You.
Today is the feast of St. Vincent of Saragossa –– and also the feast of the Espousals of Mary and Joseph — their wedding day! When this feast is seen in light of today's short Gospel (Mark 3:20-21), in which his relatives are pretty sure Jesus “is out of his mind,” it's quite edifying. I wish you could have heard the sermon I heard at the Abbey at their community Mass, which urged us to be part of the perfect family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph — and not be one of the distant relatives who looks askance at all His doings.
Rosie says
I can’t believe you found more of your dishes!! That is awesome.
Stacy says
Bravo! Bravo! Your article on liturgical changes is awesome. Oh how I wish I could distribute it at mass. We go to our neighborhood parish (instead of driving 45 minutes to an amazing parish which does everything you list and more). The neighborhood parish is just… Lacking. Lacking in reverence, lacking in men taking any sort of role while the women busy themselves with being essential to the mass, heck we don’t even have a full time pastor. Yet I don’t want to abandon these people, so we keep fighting for renewal of reverence. If you have any additional thoughts on what an individual can do to help fight back against the liturgical abuse, I would love to hear more.
Bethanne says
I hope it is alright that I reply, although I am not Leila. I think the best thing one can do under such circumstances is to pray in front of Jesus, Himself. Especially offer up these intentions each and every Mass you attend: that the Holy Spirit may work in the hearts of His people in the parish. And then find a like-minded friend and drag her to the Tabernacle in the week to pray, too. And have her bring a friend and the three of you pray for your parish and its people. Pray for your parish and its lack. But not in a “we’re so holy and everyone else is not” kind of way, more of “Lord, hear the cries of this parish. We are poor and in need of your goodness and abundant graces.” And then pray that you have eyes to see and ears to hear the tiny changes that take place because they will. And give thanks for every one of them, no matter how small. It may be slow-going, but God will work. Be a joyful example of reverence, too, so that you don’t become soured or jaded as you let the Holy Spirit work. Be an agent of change by praying to the One who makes all things new. Especially concerning liturgical abuses: practice the theological virtue of hope.
Katherine says
This is good advice. We had a terrible pastor and some parishioners started meeting weekly to pray for our parish. This priest was eventually removed by the bishop after it was found he was spending a lot of money and racking up a huge debt for the parish. The new temporary pastor was better and more open to good music and doing liturgy well (instead of the long-entrenched mediocre). He also worked hard to get more new people involved in parish ministries, thus moving power out of the hands of the old guard. It was under him that our family became more involved in the parish, starting a traditional choir. What we have found out through our involvement is that much bad to mediocre happens in parishes through lack of volunteers. There are unqualified people in ministry positions at the parish because no one else volunteered. For instance, the Confirmation preparation teacher actually keeps the books in the parish office, but was tagged to teach the youth when no one else volunteered. She is woefully unqualified and many parents complain, yet no one wants to take her place. People are very glad there is a traditional choir and we get weekly thanks and compliments, yet when we try to recruit members everyone is too busy or doesn’t want to make the commitment to the weekly two hour practice time. We have a great pastor now who has great plans, but he will be fighting a lot of apathy. I’ve come to see that people want change, but they often want other people to do all the work.
Leila says
Stacy — and others — I agree — Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament is the first step. I have a little document prepared that is the draft of some thoughts I have on turning a parish around. If you are interested in reading it, email me at leilamarielawler at gmail dot com.
Rosemary says
That little tea set is ADORABLE. *That* is why I would check thrift stores. You couldn’t buy that new! But I’ve never had much luck finding clothes secondhand.
A few months ago I hauled a huge bag of mostly nice yarn to our local salvation army. My hope is that it made someone very happy, or will soon. 🙂
Jen says
I am curious; are you ever concerned about lead in old plates you buy? I am skeptically using an old spoonrest that is a family heirloom but still am worried lead is leaching into my spoons and food…
Leila says
Jen, my understanding (and you can google this to confirm) is that any dishware that is crazed or pitted or compromised in its glaze could be leaching lead, but if the glaze is intact you are okay. I think the risk is also high with terra cotta and other sorts of rustic ware, vs. china and porcelain.
And the risk is for food (or liquid) that is sitting in a container that is leaching lead — I would guess that resting a spoon on something isn’t going to do much to poison anyone!
I don’t use things that are cracked or feel chalky. My regular dishes are pretty modern (the government started testing for lead in the 70s). So I’d say the chances that there is lead in our dishware is very low to nil.
Jennifer says
Would love more details about (or pictures of) your plate rack. I see that it’s for plates you actually use, not just for decorative purposes. How big is it, how is it made, is it located in your kitchen or dining room…?
Leila says
Jennifer, I will try to oblige. I have been worried about having too many pictures of the decor (such as it is) and getting boring, but maybe it’s been a while. Stand by…
Mrs. B. says
That pale aqua color is one of my absolute favorite, and the shape of the tea cups is so sweet I’ve loved that set since the first time you showed it. To find more plates now is astonishing, the kind of thing that can really only happen in a thrift store!
As for your Crisis piece, I agree on everything! I always say that some day Ratzinger will be proclaimed a Doctor of the Church… You read him, and you finally understand two things, that the Church didn’t start 50 years ago, and that those centuries before us are a repository of wisdom we can’t even imagine. You read him, and you come to see that everything in the liturgy has a beautiful meaning, it’s not pomp, and it’s not formalism at all: it’s not an end to itself, it’s spiritual schooling for the faithful. Then you understand how the liturgy spills over into daily life, as our dear hostess shows us constantly, too, and that if you don’t get the liturgy right, I won’t say you can’t get anything else right, but you’re certainly making things more difficult for yourself.
We’re enjoying the Do-Nothing part of the big snowstorm, after the Shovel-Like-Crazy part of it! Hours on the sleds! Fire in the fireplace! Hot cocoa! Daddy reading Father Brown stories! Ahhhh… 🙂
Lisa G. says
I agree with your three liturgical changes! But I would switch 2 and 3, in order of importance. Going back to the priest facing toward the altar seems to me such a remote possibility – but one never knows.
All the talk about church choirs, though – I do have a thought on this: in an ideal parish, I would say the congregation would be singing heartily. And then there would be no need for a choir. It’s not a concert. I would rather sing down below – all the singer shouldn’t be upstairs. Just my way of thinking. 🙂
Thanks for the links on the knitting man, and the two snow links – I enjoyed those. And the piano!
Leila says
Lisa, as I said in the article, I don’t care what order the restorations come in! (Although it makes sense to do #1 first but whatever order they come in, I will be overjoyed!)
As to your point about choirs, I think it’s worth thinking about. We can all agree that if the congregation is singing, they ought to be singing heartily! (Maybe we can also agree that not every act of worship need involve song. There can be simple liturgies that are spoken, and silence is golden.)
But the choir is actually very important — and it’s very important that they be good at what they do, to study what they are doing and how they do it, and be at the service of devotion.
I am sure that most people haven’t experienced what a good choir — one that is not “performing” but which is truly worshiping through song — can do; this makes it hard to express how vital the choir is to worship. The problem is that, as you point out, virtually the only model we have is the concert model. And that won’t do.
To go into it all would take a book (at least) — and one I am far from qualified to write!
But think about a few things. First, music is an art — it’s meant to express beauty, which is the radiance of truth. In liturgy, it’s not entertainment, nor is it passing the time… nor is it merely expression… it’s a way of praying that engages the whole being in an artistic way, at its best (and of course, we’re all familiar with the adage that when we sing, we pray twice).
For the sake of worship, we would want to give “the first fruits” of our talents. We would never say, “We don’t need beautiful artworks or statuary in the church — in the ideal church, the people, the whole congregation, would provide the decoration,” or “in the ideal church, the people would get together and build it — we don’t need an architect.” Hm, not sure how nice it would be!! Maybe in heaven 🙂
However, we don’t go to church to “see the artworks” – it’s not a museum. The art is a window on what is beyond — but a window we can’t do without! A church without art is a church crying out for art. What church doesn’t absolutely require the most beautiful statues of Our Lady and St. Joseph that can be provided?
I think that maybe we are used to equate “singing in church” with “singing hymns” — which is fine, but not the main part of what music in church should be. And even for hymns, having a choir that knows what to do (we are not always singing the same few hymns, right? there are harmonies, yes? descants on special occasions?) really enhances how things… sound. How beautiful they are. (Interestingly, everyone I know who is good at harmonies learned them in the church choir!)
There are the parts of the Mass that can be sung in beautiful chant — the Ordinary (Kyrie, Gloria, etc). There are the Propers — the parts that change, and they can be chanted or sung in motet form. For beauty, we need the choir at least to lead the people, and sometimes to sing on their behalf. (By the way, chanting is an art unto itself. Without guidance, chanting can become tedious and heavy.)
So for part of the singing, the choir supports and offers a good model/framework for the congregation, and for part of the singing (if there is a good choir), they offer to God the very best of what the people have to give.
This latter point is key and not to be dismissed lightly. We are all called to give God the best of what we have… music is definitely one of those things — perhaps the greatest in the context of worship.
Here is a nice summary of what music from the choir has to offer to worship: http://www.anselm.edu/Current-Students/Student-Life/Campus-Ministry/College-Choir/Philosophy-of-Music-Ministry.htm (I happen to know the director there 🙂
Of course, there are many documents and resources about music in the worship — directives that are not, for the most part, followed, sadly. Music in worship goes far beyond the congregation singing hymns (and as I say, if that’s all that is happening, it ought to be done well).
A good overview is this essay by my friend Paul Jernberg: http://www.pauljernberg.com/original-introduction-to-the-mass-of-st-philip-neri/
All of this that I’m saying depends on having a competent choir — not just a gathering of people who deem themselves the leaders — not amplified, not up front taking up the limelight (of which there should be none), not being applauded or seeking applause. Not giving a concert!
In a well designed church, they are up above *and behind*, in a choir loft, out of sight — just because that’s the best place for them to be — for the sound to do its thing. The music fills the church but doesn’t dominate it (again, many, many people have not experienced a church designed for liturgical singing — that is, for worship rather than merely for “gathering” — or even if they have such a church, it’s been retrofitted to accommodate modern forms of music that aren’t actually sacred forms). The good choir supports the congregation and doesn’t overwhelm it.
Sorry to go on so long about what many think is truly a matter of personal preference, but the teachings of the church indicate otherwise… and in my heart, I know that if people could experience truly sacred music as it can be presented, a new world of beauty would open up to them — a world that we are missing, sadly…
Mrs. B. says
We go to the Traditional Latin Mass in our parish, which has a professional choir dedicated to it – in the sense that the music director asks that you have some prior knowledge of music to be part of it, more than being able to sing in tune.
I don’t know if I’m wrong in thinking this, but I see the choir as another “actor” in the Mass, with its proper job. There is the priest, there is the choir, and there are the faithful. Everything is directed toward the same goal, the proper worship of God, but each has a different part in it. Again, maybe I’m wrong, but when I go to Mass I can choose what to focus on, because for me this Mass is so rich, there is so much going on, even simultaneously, that one can’t possibly be taking everything in at the same time, every time. So sometimes I will follow the priest in his silent prayers, which are so beautiful as to be moving, a wonderful way to talk to God. But sometimes I pray with the choir, whose job is to almost introduce each part of the Mass with an appropriate psalm, or offer a prayerful hymn during times of meditation, like after Communion.
I’m very grateful for good choirs, because it’s not the same to hear something sung and to sing it yourself, and sometimes you do need to just be hearing, so that your thoughts are not too focused on the act of singing itself. I’m not saying that the members of the choir aren’t praying – their singing IS a prayer I believe – I’m just saying that from the congregation’s point of view there is a difference between singing and listening, and it’s good to have both experiences.
I will also add, though, that whenever I go to a Low Mass, which is the same traditional Mass but without the choir and usually fewer servers helping the priest, the silence of it is something stunning, and it does good to your soul – it makes the Mass so intimate you feel really really close to God. The sung Mass gives you a taste of what kind of worship goes on in Heaven, and it makes you a part of it. The silent Mass gives you this intense feeling that you’re face to face with God, He’s there in front of you, hearing your prayers. To me it’s something very much like Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, but with the power of a Mass.
It is very interesting to note how in this Mass with no choir the psalms that the choir would have sung are still there, but the priest prays them instead, a sign that the job of the choir is not just icing on the cake, but an integral part of Mass, and the choir is not totally free to sing whatever.
Lastly, I’ll say something about two things Lisa wrote, about Mass not being a concert and how the choir shouldn’t be upstairs. But the choir is upstairs (if you’re lucky enough to have a choir loft!) exactly because Mass is most definitely not a concert! As Leila said, it’s the choir’s way of not being in the limelight, to signal everyone that the business of Mass is worship of God. This past Easter the choir sung the Coronation Mass by Mozart, which is one of the most beautiful Masses ever written. But some parts, like the Gloria, are long and ornate. At some point I got impatient and had Lisa’s same thought, that after all Mass is not a concert… But then it hit me that this music was written with Mass in mind, and it’s only because now we’re accustomed to only hear it at concerts that we don’t recognize its true nature when we encounter it in the setting for which it was born. It was always meant for worship, it was always meant to be like the music the angels make in Heaven, and it’s only the poverty of our recent liturgical experience that makes us unable to recognize it and appreciate it as a form of prayer, not as a way for the composer and the choir to display their vanity.
But now like Leila I’ll also apologize for the length of this comment – sorry I got carried away!!
Lisa G. says
Hi, Mrs. B – No, I didn’t say – or mean to say – the choir shouldn’t be upstairs. Ours is, where I go. No, I mean that, in an ideal world, where the people are pious enough to want to kneel for communion, and want to have the tabernacle front and center, and sing the holy hymns with great devotion, then, if there wasn’t a choir, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. More than once, it’s been said to me that since I like singing the hymns, maybe I’d like to be in the choir. But SOMEBODY has to be singing downstairs! It just seems rather a backward way of thinking to me. 🙂 But I’m not against choirs. I used to listen on EWTN radio to the special masses from Vatican City on holy days – beautiful! I’m just thinking aloud about an ideal situation, and I probably gave a wrong impression.
At the root of my remarks is a lament for the unfortunate situation we’re in, that the Catholic laity have gotten so far away from any good understanding of where they are when they go into a church, or the proper attitude to have. And all these things, i.e., standing for communion, no one singing very much in the congregation, no one caring where the tabernacle is placed – are just the result of it. So, I’m not really against choirs at all. Just blathering on in my usual way of talking first, thinking about it second. 🙂
Emily D. says
As for yarn: Knitpicks is my FAVORITE. And they have great sales–a huge one semi-annually, and they have yarn/needle sales every month. Their yarn (at least what I’ve knitted of it, thus far) is great quality, beautiful colors, and the Comfy Sport is great for dishcloths/things that you’ll be washing! True, they don’t sell the ginormous skeins you’ll find at Jo-Ann’s, or a place like that. But for me, that’s never really what I need, at this point in my knitting life.
Emily D. says
Vis-a-vis Crisis: Yes one. Yes three. My parish is an old parish, built in the 1850s (Old for America, ha), and we have both those things–and a communion rail! That we use! All the time!
As for ad orientem–if you’re going to do that, the priest needs to be miked well, and he needs to have good diction, otherwise people like me who are hearing impaired are going to be lost. And that’s really frustrating (I even have a Magnificat, so I can follow along–but when a priest goes “off book”, or mutters, it’s easy to get lost.)
Leila says
Emily, the objection that the congregation might have trouble following the Mass if the priest were ad orientem is one that perhaps points to the need for these changes. Having made the Mass into something it’s not meant to be — what Ratzinger in The Spirit of the Liturgy likens to a “closed circle” — we are then lost when we aren’t getting constant “input” and “feedback.” I don’t blame us! We are somewhat misled.
Of course, the priest MUST NOT go “off book.” It’s actually a matter of importance that he not. He is breaking trust and violating canon law when he does. Again, ad libbing is very much a result of the mistaken idea we have gotten of what is going on at Mass.
The ad orientem posture does not mean the priest never turns to the people, never addresses them. I’d say that you just need to go to a Mass celebrated this way — a Novus Ordo or Ordinariate (Anglican Use) Mass, not a Tridentine Mass I’m talking about here — to get the picture.
Ratzinger also suggests that a simple solution for those places where the structure of the church doesn’t quite facilitate ad orientem worship: The placing of a crucifix on the altar, facing the priest. This crucifix, he explains, becomes “the east” — the focus of the worship for the priest — alleviating him of the burden of inappropriately addressing his words and expression to the people, enabling him to address God with the prayers that in fact, are addressed to God!
Thus, the freestanding altar becomes again the place of sacrifice, the priest the offerer of the Sacrifice.
You see, we need to somehow release the priest from being the master of ceremonies… the “emcee”/entertainer/focal point… because the Mass is worship, and we are made for worship!
Emily says
Right, I’ve only ever been to a Dominican Rite Mass, in Latin, celebrated ad orientem. i’ve never been to an “English” Mass celebrated this way. My church is set up for A.O. worship, so we could do it. We didn’t rip out the altar after VII, thank goodness! The priests, actually, even put the crucifix on the altar for almost all Masses.
I loathe all ad libbing, and I did even before my hearing went. But now it really irritates me because not only is the priest not saying what he’s SUPPOSED to be saying, but he’s saying something that I can’t understand! (Homilies can be a bit of a cross for me. But that’s OK.)
My two experiences with Mass in Latin were sort of horrible, but I would like to try English A.O. I don’t know if it exists in my diocese.
Janet says
Using the snow day as an opportunity to join the conversation here with some liturgical tidbits. I’m an Orthodox Christian who sent children to a Catholic elementary school. We were one for the first 15 centuries. We miss and need each other and I pray for the schism to end. I see no way that could happen in my lifetime, but with God all things are possible.
Changes 1 and 3 are practices we never left. The altar faces Jerusalem [which may or may not be due east depending on the part of the world]. The priest faces the altar. The tabernacle is on the altar [not in the middle of the church]. All services are chanted or sung for two reasons: celebrants are not supposed to put their own interpretations onto the words, which can easily happen when speaking, and in a time before microphones, a singing voice carried better.
Historically, before choirs [back when we were one], most responses were sung by tonsured readers, a minor order of clergy. There are some hymns that have always been sung congregationally-“As many as have been baptized into Christ…” and the Paschal hymn come to mind–these are outpourings of joy on major fest days. There is also the tradition of the people singing very softly with the choir. There are also folk songs that were joyous popular reflections on church feasts–think Christmas carols-that were not used IN the church services, but outside and after. We have lost so much from the collective memory.
I was pretty shocked and saddened at Catholic practice in the “conservative” parish where my children attended school. They interpreted the Mass at the point where a bishop is normally ordained to do an 8th grade graduation ceremony-sad.
Janet says
“interrupted” not “interpreted”–should proofread better
logan says
All the comments on liturgy are very interesting and good food for thought.
I wanted to mention on the Teddy R. link the author of the book behind the quote, Cal Newport, has a great blog for those who are still on an organizing streak. http://calnewport.com/
His strategies have been amazingly helpful for getting my scattered brain on track. Just the idea of looking at your day and actually thinking realistically about what you must do and thinking about where that time is going to fit–this was revolutionary for me (not being naturally organized). It is similar to what I think Leila was saying the other day with the to-do’s and not doing more than 3, it isn’t really practical to think about a million item to-do list every day. I think his advice for students is excellent as well and would be great for any parents to pass on to their high-schoolers or college kids.
Barbaral says
Just a couple of thoughts/ comments about thrifting…
The older China dishes hold so little…compared to large sized portions
Us gluttonous Americans now eat…what do u use them for?
Also I love the retro linens but seem to have a hard time removing old odors….any suggestions? Thanks for all of your great ideas!!!
Leila says
Barbaral, it’s true. My MIL’s china plates are smaller. I consider that a good thing. I am always happy for people to take seconds, but I hate throwing food away!
My everyday plates are larger (but not as large as today’s plates and bowls are!), and that’s fine. But I do like using her china — I feel like the food is more special and more appreciated on them.
The salad-size random plates I have on my plate rack are ideal for a small plate of cookies when you have tea with some ladies, or for two kinds of cheese next to a basket of crackers. I find all sorts of uses for them!
As to the linens, wash them in warm or hot water. Most linens can take a good washing. Spread them in the sunshine (ha!). When all else fails, hot water and a little bleach — what do you have to lose?
Teri Pittman says
I like Little Knits for yarn. I once gave away two big trash bags of yarn, some good, via Freecycle. The young woman that picked it up wanted to be a knit designer and it gave her a lot to play with. I am going to have to purge my yarn again though. I have a health issue that seems to be made worse by something back here in my office. It’s okay if I don’t move things around (or wear a dust mask if I do). But I think it’s time to let some of this old unused yarn go. I do spin and I’m keeping my fleece, so I will never run out of yarn to work with.