Title: Heidi*
Author: Johanna Spyri
Filed Under: Chapter Book, Orphans
It's come up a few times in the comments — something to the effect of “my child chooses books that aren't that great” or “how do I make sure he's reading good things?”
I know that there is a prevailing wind of child-rearing out there. This wind would not imagine for one moment that you would give your darling any food that is bad for him, to the point that the poor kid can't have a cookie. But the wind is perfectly fine with exposing him to any and all ideas.
This suits the wind, because it would like to have sole proprietorship of your child's mind.
Not content with the normal way of things, which is for the world to have its go at your child once he leaves the sanctuary of the home, the world has made provisions for molding the imagination of the child from infancy, so that it becomes suited to its designs.
This is where the Library Project comes in. It's really meant to be a help in what we might call the Recovery Project: the recovery of the parental role in guiding the child's development.
Somehow, somewhere, we lost the idea that the spirit is even more precious than the body, and needs even more careful formation. Your child will survive the occasional Twizzler. For that matter, he will survive the occasional Transformers Blast Mars or whatever trashy book he insists on bringing home from the library.
But a steady diet of bad books is worse for the mind than something analogous for the body. The imagination is starved and then, as a final blow, the stunted intellect concludes that reading is not interesting.
Establish the habit of vetting all the books. You are the gatekeeper.
Remember, for all they know, this is how it works.
If you are confident, you will see that they are docile.
You provide them with wonderful books, and you let them know if a book isn't going to be good. Just say, “This one isn't going to be good.”
All my kids' childhoods, I just handed them books to read. When we went to the library or bookstore, I was right there, pulling books off the shelf.
Of course, they were too, and I gently (I hope it was gently) taught them to bring me a book to see if we would take it out. Just say, “Bring me that book to look at.”
If it was within my standards (somewhere on the scale — obviously not every book is stellar, but there's a difference between a stupid book and one that is merely harmless), I would provisionally approve it. However, with a limit of what you can carry and actually read, you end up replacing the “merely harmless” ones with better ones anyway. Keeping in mind that “merely harmless” can add up to “stupid” if you aren't vigilant.
They learn to trust you, because when they bring home, say, four books that are marvelous and two that are really sort of mindless, they notice. Especially if, after reading a mindless book, you say something that guides them — “Oh, I thought this would be better,” or “I can't read this one out loud again, it's really boring.” You'll see, they will agree. Even if they don't agree, that's okay. You make lots of decisions for their own good, and this is one of them. (If they happen to stumble on a gem that you weren't aware of, well, rejoice!)
If they can't let go of a bad book (and this happens when a child is three or so — they just cling to one wretched book sometimes), there's a reason: The book fulfills some need. So think about it. What is it about this book that makes you cringe, that your child is obsessed with? And then find a better version of the same theme while completely removing the offending item. Like shorts in winter or snowsuits in summer, it just becomes unavailable. (This goes for deadening books that well meaning people give you. Just quietly get them out.)
Even a teenager should consult with you about what he reads (and you will find that they want to). You would not drop a fourteen-year-old boy off at the center of town for a few hours without inquiring into his plans. Well, a book is a universe, so don't just drop them off there.
When you have at your fingertips good things to read (there are book lists at the end of the linked post), they will be fine with this. It's good practice, anyway, because this is what a parent does in so many areas. And if they insist — for instance, my middle kids were teens when Harry Potter came out — you will be able to discuss and figure out what to do. They will have a standard by which to judge something that may be sub-par, because you gave it to them, so you don't have to be anxious.
And if you insist that they should just stay away from some things (Twilight books come to mind), they will respect that, because they have been trained in a delightful obedience along the way.
__________
*Heidi is a wonderful, deeply Christian book — but! — beware and only get the unabridged version. There are many editions out there. It's a long book — way over 200 pages, just so you know.
The image of Heidi eating her goats' milk and bread at grandfather's stool while sitting on the one he makes here then and there that's just her size is forever etched in my imagination. And when she crawls into the little loft in his cottage to lie on her straw bed and look out the round window at the bright stars, well, heaven. Heidi is pretty much the ultimate orphan book, I'd say!
Charlotte says
Wonderful reasonable advice. I don't like the word “twaddle”. I prefer “popcorn”. Popcorn is enjoyable occasionally but you wouldn't make a steady diet out of it. I still ask my kids to let me look at anything unfamiliar they check out from the library. And I've found that librarians are great for getting recommendations, but you have to make sure that they have the same standards as you. We've had some recommendations for “great books” that weren't so great.
Kathy says
Thank you Leila, you've once again put into words the very thoughts that occupy my heart when it comes to my thoughts on book selections. I too allow the occasional twizzler (in the book world) but ban quite a bit as well (Captain Underpants comes to mind). I really do believe that a steady diet of junk food for the mind causes a lack of character formation while great books helps build moral fiber in our children – I do so love your library project!
_Rosie says
I remember you (Auntie Leila) telling us at the bookstore, “No, let's not get that one. We can get at the library.” In other words, it's a fine book, and one we'll read once or maybe twice, but not one worth the investment of our own money and shelf space.
At the library, you'd say of the ones that were fluffy (not the actual bad ones – I'm remembering especially some silly picture books I pulled off the shelves), “You can read that here, but we're not bringing it home.”
This really helped establish a clear hierarchy of books in my mind!
a2jc4life says
A hierarchy of books – what a wonderful way to put it!
We do things much this way, too. The kids can choose their books at the library, but I have to approve them before they come home with us. (I'm more likely to let the toddler get 'most anything she wants because she doesn't really want to READ it, anyway. She just wants to be able to carry home what she chose. So unless it happens to be truly awful, we just roll with it.)
I was surprised to find, through a challenge in our library's reading program last summer, that the “graphic novels” aren't all twaddle. I always just thought “comic book,” and “comic book” (in my mind) = junk. But come to find out there are graphic novels of classics. I wouldn't want them to be “it” in my children's heads, but I'm thinking I'd find it much easier to read Beowulf having gotten a “just the bones” idea of the plot first. 🙂
Kara says
Wonderful post!! And the analogy to food and our diets is a great one. These little minds so precious!
I'd also add that almost any book a parent reads to a child is bound to be well accepted. I'm reading Black Beauty to my 5 year old and often wonder if he's following the plot or able to remember all the characters. I'm convinced he mostly likes it because it means long reading sessions with just the two of us!
abby says
I love this series! What a great idea! I will absolutely be purchasing books from this blog series for my nieces birthdays.
I'm curious though – what did you decide about Harry Potter when your kids were growing up? My parents forbade them when I was growing up. (I'm twenty-seven now.) I am finally reading them this summer, and I'm enjoying them so far. I've found it helpful to have some books in common with the average person who says they like to read. I've already encouraged someone to start Lord of the Rings because they liked Harry Potter, and a friend came back and told me she read Orwell last fall after we discussed The Hunger Games and I suggested she would find dystopian fiction like Brave New World and 1984 interesting. I tell myself this is what St. Paul meant about becoming all things to all people. 😉
Melissa Diskin says
I grew up next to kids whose parents demonized Tolkien and Lewis (whaaa….???), but those parents had never even read the books. Defending them was tiresome, and I'm glad that my parents let me read everything and pointed me to good, solid books of all shapes and sizes. So Harry Potter to me could be summed up as rollicking orphan fun (with Latin!) mixed with all the lame drama of middle and high school. Fun for the reading, but not solid enough to re-read. That said, I can see how the “magic solves everything” scenarios might be an unhealthy takeaway for kids with untethered home lives. I don't see them as gateway-to-wicca books at all, but maybe for kids at the extremes, they'd be, not dangerous exactly, but hold up a sort of fantasy temptation into something darker.
Just my 2 cents. (My kids are in the A to Z Mystery swamp, obsessed with Berenstain Bears, and only reading about trucks, respectively.)
-Melissa
abby says
That's exactly how I would describe HP, too. I am listening to them on CD while I work on house projects this summer, since the more intellectual books I tried weren't very conducive to the stuff I was working on. (I teach and have not yet received the gift of children, so I'm like a stay-at-home-mom without the kids right now.) Thanks!
_Leila says
Abby, when HP came out my kids were older than the kids who started reading it right away. HP is not a story I would read out loud to an 8-year-old! For one thing, I don't think the writing of the first few is worthy of read-alouds. For another, I thought and still think that a child's moral imagination needs to be better formed before reading these books.
I'm not anti-HP. For the most part, I think they are in the “good” category (not “wonderful”!). There are some issues here and there with lying, which is my main concern — NOT the magic, which I think is a case of “the rules of that world,” not magic per se.
I did ask Bridget to refrain from reading the fourth one until she was 14. I hadn't read it myself but the teeny bopper themes struck me as not right for her, and I still think that. There is a lot about the way the characters interact that I think is, well, lame. So I'd rather have a child be better formed before having this example before him.
abby says
Perfect! Thanks for responding.
(I think it's funny to note that my husband, who is normally a bit dense on things of this sort, watched the movies and commented that he was concerned about the kids' lying all the time, but there was a very positive model for marriage and family through the series. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all had/have married parents who love each other and made sacrifices for the benefit of their children; and all the kids grow up, get married, and have children as well. Even Harry's awful aunt and uncle weren't yelling at each other and threatening divorce. Getting along with your spouse was just the thing to do.)
Still, Peter Pan or Wind in the Willows would be a more entertaining and formative read-aloud for a family!
a2jc4life says
Are you able to tell me if the movies are pretty true to the books? We have not read the books, but did watch the first several movies. (They were coming on television, so it was an easy way to get firsthand experience with the stories and not just be basing our decision on someone else's decision.)
We found in the movies that there was a very subtle progression of real-life witchcraft. (Fantasy “magic” and the sort of witchcraft that is also performed in real life are two completely different categories in our thinking.) I don't remember the exact details because it's been a while, but for instance, in the first movie I don't remember seeing anything that was, strictly speaking, “witchcraft.” However, symbols typically associated with the occult were used for context. (As one example, all of the animals that are permitted at Hogworts as companion animals are traditionally associated with the occult.) BUT, in the second story, there were some things. I don't remember what. In the third story, I think there was the calling up of the dead – something expressly forbidden in scripture as sorcery.
Our own rule of thumb is that you can't never read/watch anything that HAS anything evil in it. There is no PLOT without evil of some kind. But is the evil viewed as evil, or is IT what you're meant to appreciate? To put it another way, are the good guys the good guys or are the bad guys the “good guys”? We found that – at least in the movies – the protagonists were freely doing things the Bible condemns, so we would not permit them for our children unless/until they're old enough to override our judgment.
Amy Caroline says
This is so true. I have found that my teens can easily pick out books now and if they are questionable once they start reading it, they easily close it and move on. Makes a momma proud!
Bridget Green says
“A book is a universe, so don't just drop them off there.” Priceless advice. You should see the looks I get at the library when I do this. My children are constantly bringing me books that look interesting (read: pretty) to them and I am constantly telling them that we will not be taking that book home because it just isn't good enough and offering them better books instead. The whole idea that reading is good, regardless of content, is foreign to me because I wasn't raised with it. I don't want my children to be raised with it either.
A helpful thing for us is to have a few decent series that my children and I read together, such as the Magic Tree House books or the Boxcar Children. They know what to look for and they can feel as if they are a part of the decision process because they picked it out “on their own.”
Great post!
_Leila says
Bridget, yes, read good books together in order to give the children criteria. I haven't read the Magic Tree House books. I like the first Boxcar Children book, but I think the rest get boring and give up on keeping the children in orphan-land, which is the appeal, after all. My kids tired of them quickly. The first one has remained a favorite.
Sunny-Gem says
I would say that the teenage years are even more important when it comes to reading. So many books are disguised by the cover and the blurb on the back as fine, but the story itself is a different matter! I'm not a Mother, I'm speaking as a young woman and my experience as a teenager who loved reading. Impurity is rife in books aimed at teenagers. Watch out for the fantasy/sci-fi genre it seems to escape rating or screening for some reason. If your teenager loves Lord of the Rings it must be remembered that they are a unique set of books and other modern fantasy style books are not on an intellectual or moral par with it.
I started to read the twilight series in order to form a better argument as to why they are not good to read, but only a few chapters in I was depressed and felt it was highly suggestive and impure. It is not so much that it's about vampires which is bad (that's a red herring) it is the obsessive unhealthy relationships that is the real danger.
RubberChickenGirl says
“highly suggestive and impure”
I remember thinking what a joke it was that the books were being pushed as pro-abstinence. I was thinking, “No one who conducts themselves like this is going to remain a virgin”!
RCG
g2-1e1ff72c52f978b6561073dccbb2420a says
It's not even just the content, but the writing style. I'd think consistently giving kids books that are not only on target with regards to message, but well structured and well written will train them to recognize and appreciate better literary efforts. Some books – even “good” books – aren't worth the effort of plowing through wretched prose.
Candice says
“Your child will survive the occasional Twizzler.” This can be applied to so many different arenas of parenting! As for now, it has me itching to tear through our own home library and weed out the junk food…the speed in which poor-quality reading materials acquire can be alarming when the kids are small… all with good intentions of course! As always, thank you for your writing Auntie Leila!
Anne says
My husband and I do this together occasionally. Feels great! and makes for fewer groans at read aloud times. 🙂
Faith says
Ha! I love this project- and totally agree. The issue I have with the Harry Potter books, aside from my complete trust in Michael O'Brien's take on literature; is that the books are so looong– I'd have to be completely on board with the author to allow a steady diet of Harry Potter- I've seen Potterism totally edge out what they could and should be reading at vital ages. (but let's not let that be our discussion, here! obviously parents will have different ideas and takes on this!)
I just love the fact that when my kids are allowed to take a “harmless” (but perhaps a bit stupid) book home they will look up now of their own accord, roll their eyes, and say, “Mom this is NOT very rich language!”- and usually put it aside to bring back to the library half read. I look forward to this series!! Hurrah!
_Leila says
Faith, I love Michael O”Brien but I don't really agree with him on HP. I don't find HP dangerous in the way that the Twilight books are, or even at all. The magic just isn't what people fear it is. But it's true that HP edges out better books, and that's why I think it's good for kids to read them slowly, which is easier said than done, I realize! The writing is too “screen-play”-ish and just not good enough to be the only reading for months.
I love that your kids insist on “rich language”!
Faith says
By thew way, I didn't know Wilcox-Smith illustrated Heidi!! How wonderful!
Lisa G. says
Even though I don't have children, all these things are so interesting to me. So, I guess a parent has to practically read all her children's books ahead of time, in order to know if they're worthwhile? It's not so easy to tell these things at a glance.
_Leila says
Lisa, yes, a parent really has to READ!! Get started now 🙂
gregsgirl326 says
When my oldest children were young, and we actually went to the public library, they knew that I had to approve whatever they chose. I remember one trip, after checking out, my then 7 year old, handed me her receipt. As we walked to the car I glanced at it and saw a title I did not recognize. I laughed a little then and now, because she was clueless that “My Daddy drinks too much” was not about water. (A little angry too that such a book is even available.) Needless to say, she returned the book before we even made it to the car. I have been very blessed in being able to provide a pretty awesome home library for my children. I give credit and thanks to my own Mom for forming my book conscience so well and instilling in me a deep love for good literature. I couldn't agree more on the importance of making sure that our children are only nourishing their minds with wholesome food. Sometimes I feel like the only parent who banned Harry Potter and Twilight so it is nice to see that I am not alone. Btw, totally random, but your brownie recipe is AMAZING! Thanks again for sharing that. 🙂
Melissa Diskin says
Your “My Daddy drinks too much” story made me laugh out loud. I know I'm not the only one who had to endure the 70s and 80s obsession with divorced parents, death of a parent, death of a friend, being a foster child, and other trials that were endured by every single Weekly Reader protagonist.
Auntie Leila, any thoughts on this trend toward reflecting a broken society back on its children? I guess previous generations had “Freckles” and other tortures to reflect dismally upon.
_Leila says
MDiskin, there is a big difference between tackling the issues (which all good literature, including children's does) and making you *okay* with the issues (Mommy and Daddy are divorced but it's all good! Um, no) or tackling them without the “orphan veil” — the projecting of the bad behavior on a stranger, uncle, step-mother, etc. The child wants to feel that the parents are essentially good and have his best interests at heart. It's just no use confronting him head on with the reality that they are not. They can't absorb it and have it heal them.
Older literature understands this and makes the child an orphan — the parents are exonerated because they are simply not there. Thus, the child deals with the issue without being forced into an anxious state that will prevent him from gaining emotional healing. There is wisdom in Freckles that there simply isn't in today's stark YA fiction.
Melissa Diskin says
I agree 100% about the “tackling vs okaying” of the issues. i'm wondering if the 80s was the watershed decade — okaying the sins of the past (and especially the past couple of decades), rather than expiating them (I feel like I'm searching for the right term here…) It really feels like it to me. What's funny is that my parents were teenagers when they married — my father was 17 when I was born in 1970! And yet they're still married, lovingly, despite all odds. I think that being part of that “what could have been” cohort, and yet thankfully *not* a statistic, made me a bit suspicious of being fed the desperate okayness of it all.
shwell says
Thankyou both for putting into words what I have been feeling about some things I have seen, not just books, but something that was a handout at my 4th grader's CCD class.
It seems to me to be dumbing down our kids by making everything about what's different from a two parent, married, stable home and why that's OK for the kids involved ( or even better for them )
Also on a totally different but related rant, was why the Kennedy Space Center now offers a chance to play Angry Birds Space video games, it suggests that kids are too dumb to enjoy that wonderful attraction without electronic devices.
It seems to be a trend across the board, that our kids can't think for themselves and can't/wouldn't choose a higher ground of thought and action
Haley @ CarrotsforM says
I really thought this reasonable view was quite common until I wrote a post about not wanting my kids to read Twilight and to this day, it's the only post on my blog that often receives nasty, angry comments about how dreadful it is to take away any reading choices from your child. I wrote something very similar last year to your food/books analogy in this post: http://carrotsformichaelmas.com/2012/09/17/should…
Well done! Loving this Library Project 🙂
_Leila says
Haley, thanks! I take it for granted that we are NOT okay with feeding our child some poison or sewage! That's what people miss. Yes, there is some stuff that won't actually harm them occasionally (although it's a waste of time and should be avoided) — “twizzlers.” But there is also just plain poison and the irresponsible manipulation of a child's need for exploring certain themes. If a person can't see that, well, I can't help them! But my children will get a “no” on some things, just as they would get a “no” on wanting to chow down on a cake aced with arsenic!
Ellie says
Amen, amen!!! I feel very reassured by this advice as I think about supervising my (four year old!) son and I so wish as a super avid teenage reader someone had given my mum this advice and then I miht not have read things that were really quite damaging – too much stuff about war, abuse, all kinds of things, because letting a young teenager pick out her own books from the adult section because she has exhausted the “teen fiction” section is not a good idea without supervision. Thank you Auntie Leila!
Gwenny says
Auntie Leila, this has me concerned. I don't vet my two year old's library choices. Should I? Obviously if I realize she's pulled something awful off the shelf when we get home, I slip it back in the library bag. Also, I don't really know how to go about choosing good books at the library. There are so, so many, you know. And I'm trying to wrangle the one year old and supervise the two year old and I don't know where to begin. I wish the books were organized by topic rather than by author.
Could you write about that? How to pick a children's book by judging the cover, I mean.
Megan @ The Ipps says
I really would not worry about looking over the actual book right then and there, especially if you are wrestling a one year old. Like you said, when you are unloading the books look them over (perhaps during a nap or free play time) and put them back in the bag out of sight.
I would start with classic kid's books. There are tons of resources online and of course this blog has great book lists. Write the titles and look up the books on the library catalog online. You can even put books on hold to pick-up if you truly cannot search the shelves. Though, that is fun too! I strap on my 16 month old into the Ergo and then my three kids and I look for the books. I always have to look over the non fiction books they love to devour (dinosaurs, whales, and other sea creatures) because of the misconception of evolution or pure grosinness.
Dixie says
I would say that the two-and-three-year-old stage can be a learning stage for both of you, and not to stress out about damaging him right now — instead, focus on learning about books! Steer clear of “Heather Has Two Mommies” and that sort of thing, and you will mostly then be dealing with whether a book's pictures and story are great, good, fair, or poor. Maybe you can spend this time — the picture book period — trying to learn how to recognize good books. Perfection is not the goal, just developing an eye for good books. You'll soon get the hang of it!
A couple of ideas: do a quick scan and grab at the library, briefly flipping through the books if you have time, but don't stress out at this point about whether all the books in your bag are perfect. It's too hard to figure that out at the library with active toddlers! I often limit my daughter and I to one little section of the children's room and then get the heck out of there. I also avoid any books based on licensed characters or TV shows, just as an initial way of cutting down, and also avoid books with flaps (they WILL tear) and that sort of thing.
Then get in the habit of looking at the books a little more at home before your toddlers start looking at them. (If they are fussing to look at them right away, try giving them each one to page through on the floor right in front of you — to minimize the chance of rips! — while you look through the others).
Then, look at the pictures: do you like them? Are the things in them recognizable? Are they beautiful, or fun, or surprising, or clever? Is there something in them you know your child would like (i.e. DOGGIES!)?
Then look at the story: are there obvious grammatical errors? Does the story make sense? Are any of the thoughts or sentiments in it something you don't want in your child's head? Is it boring or does it talk down to the reader? Is it just a variation on every other book in a series by the same author (the original “Amelia Bedelia” book is wonderful, for example, but all the sequels are just useless variations on the same gag, in my opinion).
If you are dissatisfied, put it in a pile in the closet and don't touch it again until you take it back to the library! You don't have to tell the kids that you're doing this! Or, if they ask, just say it casually but with finality: “Oh, that one's going back. Let's look at THIS one!”
When you find an author you like, get more books by them next time! Some libraries will also let you request books online, and they will pull them from the shelves and have them waiting for you at the checkout desk.
One place to start might be by getting a list of books that have won the Caldecott medal (or are Caldecott honor books). You can easily find a list online. Most of them — especially the earlier ones — are examples of good picture books (although the occasional one seems to be in there for political reasons).
I hope that helps! Don't seek perfection; just hone your eye!
Dixie says
P.S. Sorry for all the information on how to chose a good book when you DO have the time to look through it; now rereading your comment, I'm sure you already know how to do that. Hope my 2 cents are still interesting, if nothing else! I guess I mean to say, regarding picking books at the library: prepare in advance. Follow the authors and medals and things like that that you find to be good when looking through books at home, and don't feel bad about having to wade through the other things when you get home in order to sort out whether they're good reads or not!
Gwenny says
Thanks for all the tips! My current method is to grab whatever has a good looking title or cover from the display shelf and shove it into the bag and accept whatever books the Littles randomly pull, then sort through the mess when I get home. I feel like we're missing a lot of good stuff, but I don't always have time to choose every book in advance and locate it on the shelves.
_Leila says
Gwenny, do check out the lists in the first LMLD Library Project post. And as your child gets older, you can do more of the talking at the library that we are talking about here (“look at that book here” or “no, that one isn't well written” or “try these three”).
As you surmise, the key is choosing good books, and yes, I think we can write about judging a book by its cover! 🙂 In the meantime, start looking up the recommended books, for instance, in Rosie's post two weeks ago, and in the Amblesideonline.org booklists.
Jen says
ah, this stresses me out! i do try to weed out some books but my kids adore the nonfiction section. they only want to read about construction vehicles.
so it’s really okay to just get rid of that fun lift the flaps book that is grammatically incorrect/makes no sense? i feel so guilty getting rid of books the children are given and really like…
I don’t totally understand what you said about figure out what need that is fulfilling in a child…
Leila says
Well, Jen, it’s not meant to stress you out 🙂 Just to help you have the confidence to do what you think is right.
I will say this: Don’t be afraid that you will make a mistake. YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES.
What matters is that you are trying to have standards. Obviously, with very little children you don’t have to freak out and panic! And if you don’t, but remain peaceful, you find that when they are older you have the habit of being peaceful AND of setting standards!
If your children love fun books with pop-ups, that’s fine. You can fix the grammar as you “read.” (You don’t have to read every word as it’s printed there, you know!) If they are reading, you can point out that the book is appealingly made but the words are drivel, and why.
Keep getting them good STORIES, even if they love the non-fiction. Good stories are essential to life! I believe that people think that we are in need of a great many new and improved stories, but actually, a few really good ones are fine. Again, don’t stress.
Our book lists will guide you (they are now on the menu bar under the library project tab).
As to the figuring out thing, just… what is it that they love about a certain book? Is the the pop-up feature? There are many very clever books that are made that way. Is it a particular character? Look at the lists and see if you can find a really tested and beloved story that has that sort of character. If it’s a badly illustrated Aesop’s Fables, find a nicely illustrated one. Etc.
If a child really loves a book, then you don’t want to wrench it out of his hands! But you can find other better ones, and eventually those will “take.”
Anitra says
Sounds like you already do a reasonable job of vetting the books after they get home; I would just try to make sure you get one or two “good” (mom-picked) books from the library – ones you remember from childhood, or ones that you have picked out ahead of time.
I highly recommend the book “Honey for a Child's Heart” by Gladys Hunt for a good starting-point of books that are good for each age.
Pippi says
If your library lets you reserve it is a great way to get good books! I go online and reserve books related to the kids' interests, classics, books I find suggested from online sites that I like (here for example!) and they're all waiting for me when we get there. We “browse” the reserve shelf and pick up those books then check out the rest of the library. We have found FABULOUS books randomly in the kids section…and real duds. But a few duds don't bother me when most of the rest are good.
sibyl says
And while I do vet a great deal of my younger kids' books, I CANNOT KEEP UP with the 12 and up crowd. I mean, I don't let them into the teen section unless I go in with the 12 year-old, but what can we do with the girl who reads a LOT? She's read all the historical fiction we have on our shelves, all the Bethlehem books we can afford. Now she's reading the Harry Potter wannabees and the really cheap stuff from juvenile fiction. I never let her get something that looks like a “gritty exploration of mental illness” or ” poignant tale of recovering from abuse”, but a lot of Doritos. She's read Louisa May Alcott. She's read Frances Hodgson Burnett. She doesn't like L.M. Montgomery and she's just not ready for Agatha Christie. Help!
Megan @ The Ipps says
I am all about looking up books ahead of time if possible on the online library catalog, even cooler, some libraries have an online audio/e-book/kindle program. You can download the books to your Kindle by borrowing it, even Amazon allows borrowing for our library. I can read the basic plot and then make a good decision if the book is worth reading. In addition, other readers rank the books and leave comments.
Jamie says
Sibyl, How about Louis L'Amour!? He's perfect for the age which you describe. The morals are clear, the good guys always win and the bad guys lose. There are no murky waters here. No explicit language and he doesn't take us past the bedroom door. Kisses under the aspen or cotton wood trees are about it. They are a great introduction to life and encompass everything. Death, consequences, abuse, foulness, goodness, gentlemanly behaviour, ladies, women, children being responsible. We just love them. They are our summer reading and we call them “snack books”: light and not heavy but satisfying. Really. Enjoy. Then she'll be more ready for the hardcore Agatha Christie murders. Ha Ha. Might I also suggest the somewhat forgotten animal books such as Where the Red Fern Grows, Big Red (and the follow up books), My Friend Flicka, White Fang, Call of the Wild, etc. etc.. And let's not forget the James Herriot books starting with All Creatures Great and Small. Is she ready for Dickens? Jane Austen?
Rebecca says
We love “Honey for a Child's Heart” and “Honey for a Teen's Heart”. They are book recommendations from a Christian perspective without being sickly-sweet or dumbed down. My children request books from the library ahead of time and then they're ready to pick up when we get there.
_Leila says
Sibyl, it's the 12 and ups that need the most help! By now, they should know that there is virtually NOTHING for them in YA and juvenile fiction. Just. Don't. Go. There.
Look at the lists that we posted in the first post. There is a lot of literature that is ideal for this age, because it's a bit tedious when you get older, but aimed right at the adolescent mind. The Three Muskateers, The Count of Monte Cristo, Mark Twain, the Swallows and Amazons books — books that keep her a child a little longer, but have lots of adventure and good vocab. Now is the time!
Magda says
Madeleine L'Engel? Shannon Hale?
Melissa Diskin says
At 12 I read tons of fiction about the Tudors. I remember a bunch by Marguerite Vance (who wrote lots of historical novels about English/American women), and maybe Rosemary Sutcliffe? Exciting, historical, sort of a good cross between fiction and non. ….Oh and at that age I loved everything by Robin McKinley: Beauty, The Blue Sword, and much more. Her earlier books are the best. And I know I made fun of Freckles a bit above, but I read that and Girl of the Limberlost a bunch, too! I also loved a bunch of books by Caroline Dale Snedeker about girls in Roman times. “The Forgotten Daughter” was one, and I think “The White Isle”.
I also remember being enthralled by these huge Time-Life books at the library that were arranged by decade: 1920-1930, 1930-40, etc… a good way to dive into the American zeitgeist visually.
abby says
Has she read Little Britches? It's the start of a great series. They aren't out-and-out challenging (great family read-alouds), but well written and engaging. She's probably old enough for Lord of the Rings on her own, if she hasn't been through it before.
Charles Dickens? (Maybe Great Expectations?)
Biographies? (John Adams by David McCullough is long but totally worth it, and I probably would have grasped most of it back when I was an advanced 12-year-old reader.)
Melissa Diskin says
Sorry to comment so much on this post, but it took me a couple of days to remember another author I read at the time: Sally Watson! She wrote a series that's all interconnected historically, so one girl's story of life under Cromwell and her adventures shows up later when she's the grandmother (or aunt, or mother) of another girl having adventures under another regime. Some of the books: Lark, Linnet, The Hornet's Nest — this last is about a brother and sister shipped to the American Colonies after they're caught wearing tartan in the Scottish highlands (post-Culloden, this was punishable by death). So they arrive in Virginia and have to fit their feisty ways in with a bunch of cultured Virginian cousins. Very fun! Light, but fun. And these fictional excursions got me interested at that age to do serious historical reading that ranged far and wide.
Jen says
Redwall?
Anastasia says
Having been raised like this, I so so agree. I love this post. When I got to be in high school (after being homeschooled through 8th grade), I did have some freedom of choice. At that point, because of my parent-guided love of literature, I picked more adult themed books, rather than trashy teen books. And some I was ready for and some not so much, but my parents kept an eye out, and talked to me about these books as necessary. I do have a strong distaste for the amount of terribly lame toddler books out there (don't get me started on Scholastic) and when these make their way into the house (generally as gifts from someone), I just gently take them away, as you said. The good news is that I find the kids aren't nearly as enthralled by these as the really good ones!
Magda says
I remember when I was in middle school and wandered over to the horror section. My father flat-out refused to let me finish the VC Andrews book… and I still don't read those to this day, because I know it's not good for me. I remember also wandering through my mother's bookcases and having to get permission with any selection; sometimes I would hear, “Maybe in a few years. That book is a little old for you,” on things like Gone With the Wind or Zelda.
My favorite memory of parental literary guidance was my father's question when I was excitedly telling him about some new sci-fi book or series I was enjoying: “Where is God in this book?” After that I learned to look for and think about how God was portrayed, how the Church was portrayed, etc., even when they were not explicitly present in the book.
Elizabeth says
Yes! I am absorbing everything you write Auntie Leila. It is so helpful! Very few children will completely stop reading a book when it becomes too mature for them. Thank you for teaching us how to guide kids in the right direction. I just pulled out my copy of Heidi given to me by my parents on my 10th birthday. I remember reading it while we were on a vacation in Colorado, which was ideal for picturing Heidi in the mountainous scenery. To this day I feel like Heidi when I eat a snack or lunch of bread and cheese and some fruit. Now I'm going to have to re-read it 🙂
Rosie says
“Somehow, somewhere, we lost the idea that the spirit is even more precious than the body, and needs even more careful formation.” YES!____This post is so beautiful. I have two little girls and they occasionally want to read junky books, but since we don't own too many of them, it's rarely a fight. They have naturally gravitated away from the ones that we do own (and then those books just disappear, and no-one even notices!) and much prefer the good books. I have a huge list of beautiful books for them to read and am constantly looking for more book suggestions so I'm so excited for this series!
Sheila says
I wish my parents had given me more guidance about what to read. I was so frustrated trying to guess from the cover whether books would be good, and so often guessing wrong. If I found an author I liked, I read everything they wrote. So all the Lois Lowry (good choice), all the Betsy Byars (mostly a bad choice), all the Babysitters' Club, and the Sweet Valley Twins (oh, such drivel!), and when I'd read everything I thought I would like in the children's section, I moved on to adult fantasy at about twelve years old and was quite shocked by it. Wouldn't it have been nice to grow up like my best friend did, with a family library stacked floor to ceiling with classics!
Valerie says
YES! I've also found that giving them a “reading list” can help guide them when they begin “searching” on their own..but I always sign- off on the books. My teens now know what to look for (recognizing certain authors, etc), but they still share their finds with me – which, of course, I'm thrilled about.
Thank you for another excellent and helpful post.
kristin says
It was very helpful for me to read the suggestions given for the 12-year-old girl above; are all of you tired now of recommending, or could you still carry on a bit longer? I have a 10-year-old son, and am facing the same issue of finding quality books for him to read. He is a good reader in terms of mechanics, but still a 10-year-old in terms of interests, and I swear, the options are almost WORSE than for girls in that age! He loves books that involve wilderness survival (like My Side of the Mountain and its sequels), and enjoys animals but isn't yet ready for All Creatures Great and Small, etc. (tried reading those aloud to him, and he had a hard time following). I would love to point him to books that develop a sense of manhood, work, family, etc. — for example, the Ralph Moody Little Britches series, which we read and loved.
Auntie Leila, as always, your posts are thought-provoking and USEFUL — and a great encouragement to me as a mother. Thanks to everyone for any thoughts or suggestions they might have! It's that village-to-raise-a-child thing, isn't it? kristin
DeirdreLMLD says
Has he read Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder? (I don't know – maybe I'm off in terms of my ability to gauge what books suit what ages for boys… perhaps that book is on the young side? But I seem to recall that it's just delightful no matter what age.) Lots of manhood, work, family, etc. in that one – and animals!
shwell says
I have a 9 almost 10 year old and we just discovered Freddy the Pig books, by Waltar R Brooks (Mr Ed creator)
We read Freddy the Detective first, which I have since found out is number 3 in the series. HE and I both enjoyed it, he read several parts out loud to his younger brothers and laughed a lot – a hit I would say.
My son is an insatiable reader, like I was at his age. I was researching the Freddy books on Amazon last night and there are 23-26 books, I can't remember exactly, but enough to be able to pull one out when other options have been read. There are about 12 of the books at our local library – sadly they have only been checked out 5-6 times over the last 8 years
Robin says
At that age, my son loved Jim Kjellgard (sp?). Big Red, Irish Red, etc. What I couldn't get through the library, I bought through Goodwill, used bookstores, etc.
Andi says
Havs he read any Beverly Cleary? Her books are just fabulous for boys or girls. Especially I think for boys The Mouse and the Motorcyle and its sequels, and all the Henry Huggins books (there are 4 or 5 of them) would be great. If he has a little sister he might like Beezus and Ramona too. A few other light reading but fun books are The Plant that Ate Dirty Socks and the Wally McDougal books. And if he liked My Side of the Mountain, in a few years he'll love Hatchet! Maybe The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling too? Or Treasure Island? (a great read aloud, but maybe better in a few years as well).
Andi says
OH OH OH and, I HIGHLY recommend the Princess and the Goblin and the Princess and Curdy by George MacDonald! Both have excellend examples of coming-of-age for a young man, espeically Curdy. And of course the Narnia series by Lewis.
Anitra says
“Hatchet” is a wilderness survival book a bit more modern than “My Side of the Mountain”. The sequels are not nearly as good, however.
“How Huge the Night” by Heather & Lydia Munn – boys in Europe during WWII.
Narnia, The Hobbit (but probably not Lord of the Rings), E.B. White's “Charlotte's Web” and “Stuart Little”.
You could try some older “survival” classics, like Gulliver's Travels, Treasure Island, Swiss Family Robinson, Jungle Book… but those tend to be written at a somewhat higher level.
MOST OF ALL – encourage him to TRY books that might be too difficult. If he can't get into them, that is OK! They will still be around later, when he is ready! (I had a very hard time with this concept at that age – if I started a book, I felt I MUST finish it, or else I was somehow a failure. I started the Lord of the Rings trilogy 3 times before I was finally mature enough to read it all the way through – when I was in college!)
Colette says
Loving this series as well. I am trying to build our own library as our local library is such a disappointment. Can I make a request!?? Please!!?? I would love some suggestions for young boys who are just starting to read on their own. My son is 7 and I would love to find some things to combat the allure of Star Wars and superhero junk. Such a difficult stage, where easy reader type books are too boring but most chapter books are too much yet.
Jennifer says
A few years ago I found “The Stories Julian Tells” by Ann Cameron. There are several sequels–the first few are wonderful too, but then they start declining, although all are “good” (the first few, I think, are “great”). These are beginning chapter book level–fairly short (under 100 pages), not too difficult vocab, but a good, solid story, good for reading aloud together or reading on his own. They're about a young Black boy with a fantastic imagination. He has a very solid, loving family with an absolutely wonderful father! My son, at not quite 1, is a bit young for them, but all my daughters have loved them.
Heather says
At that stage, I found my son was very taken by Greek and Roman mythology, and by some of the gorgeous retellings of the Iliad, Odyssey, and Aeneid. If I recall correctly, some of the myth books are at an easier reading level–picture books of Hercules and his labors, that kind of thing. Also very good as read-alouds. The D'Aulaire's myths books are still favorites a few years later. (Even when the child can read alone, it is useful to have an adult verify pronunciation!)
Robin Hood and King Arthur are also good for boys who love heroes, but check the Arthur retellings for too much romance.
Andi says
George Macdonald's The Princess and the Goblin and the Princess and Curdy are fabulous.
Maria says
Very interesting post Leila! A friend of mine (who also reads your blog) and I have discussed this in the past with her coming down on your side and me less so. However, my opinion is shifting. After reading about the destruction of the library at Alexandria, my older children were appalled. In response, they both read a banned book and wrote a book report, including a discussion of why the book was banned. I approved their book choices, as many banned books are not appropriate for late elementary aged children. In so doing I realized that while I am against censorship for society at large, for a family it is essential. The point is parents ought to be able to choose. I think I had subconsciously confused censorship and freedom of speech–issues I care deeply about–with parental guidance standards. The other thing that is driving me in your direction is my preschooler's love of Disney princess books. They are terrible. We did just what you suggested. Now Marianna and Mercer Mayor's Beauty and The Beast is one of her favorites–much better.
Pippi says
Does anyone have suggestions about when loved ones give you lousy books? Frequently? My mother-in-law is lovely and so wonderful with my children but her taste in children's literature leaves a lot to be desired. I wouldn't mind so much except that we have very little space in our little apartment and we now have quite a collection of painful-to-read stories. I rotate our books so that helps some but we're cramped even with that. I think she'd be hurt if got rid of her books so I keep Peter the Cruise Ship and his friends but I'm running out of places to store them.
Libby Jane says
When I was a kid, I was a voracious reader, and my parents didn't screen my reading at all. I just had a limit of 10 books at a time from the library, and was in constant debt from overdue books.
In 8th grade, I took an elective class in school called “A Novel Idea”. I don't remember much about it, besides learning to make these great paper stars from the strips on the the edge of our notebooks, and a paper balloon, and a butterfly that flapped its wings from my friend Stella who knew lots of great origami.
Anyway, what I do remember is we were assigned to read a teen horror novel, by an author about whom my classmates were apparently enthused.
For some reason, I knew right away that I didn't want to read this book. ( I had had a scary experience with a book in elementary school about a haunted doll house that gave me images in my head I internally avoid to this day, they were so riveting. I pretty much just liked to steer clear of anything creepy or violent) So I asked my mom for help, and she read it first and agreed that it wasn't appropriate. I remember that that it involved a girl getting in trouble with her conservative dad for kissing someone which somehow resulted in said Father going ballistic and slaughtering a lot of her classmates. I know; where do you start?
I also remember that the fallout of it was that somehow, everyone in the class knew that I was the reason they couldn't read the book that had been first assigned, which I was very embarrassed about! The substitute book the teacher gave was a murder mystery by Lois Lowry about kids murdering their teacher. I remember that it was well written, but disturbing and gruesome to me, and I was very glad when the class was over.
This was the year I first read Jane Eyre. I adored it! (I was introduced to it at my mother's book club, so maybe she was trying to help me more than I realize!) I was chastised for reading it in Algebra. I had about exhausted the familiar shelves of the childrens' section, where I had authors I knew and trusted. The teen books mostly looked like awful series', but I was clueless in the adult books! I almost stopped reading for pleasure until high school. This class could have been a great help to me during such difficult awkward years, pointing me towards widening beauty when I really needed it. Instead, it was a troubling and dampening experience.
I remember my mom not wanting me to read Sweet Valley High, which I knew was vapid–but I also remember a lot of wanting better books and not knowing where to look. She had me tell her about what I was reading a bit, and I wasn't totally honest. Those books were stupid and formulaic but page-turners sometimes. Like junk food. Anyhow–I think her attempts at steering me away from the unsavory would have been more successful if she had been more proactive in giving me bountiful positive options. Her explanations of what she didn't like about those books did inform the way I read them, and help me to examine them more critically. I was actually ready and eager to read good books and didn't really want to read bad ones, if I could find better.
We're educating our own kids outside of school! I am filled with joy making up our booklist for the coming school year. I look forward to a rollicking good time imbibing in books the beautiful, good, and wise!
I find this discussion thought provoking and empowering.
a2jc4life says
I cannot keep up with my kids, either! Honestly, I think that if we have voracious readers, we have to at some point trust that they've internalized our standards, and perhaps “spot-read” to check up on them. But there is simply no way I would be able to read every word of every book ahead of all of my children. (It gets especially tricky for those of us who have GOOD readers – which is probably most of us who encourage quality reading material – because their reading ability so far outstrips their psychological? development level as far as most available reading materials are concerned. I know I remember being bored as a child with anything that had appropriate content, because it was SO EASY to read.)
We like the Terrestria Chronicles for that 10-year-old age range.
Heather says
I absolutely agree with you, Auntie Leila. I use the very same tactics for the same reasons. Unfortunately, I am in a sticky situation at the moment. My family and I are staying at my parents’ house for the better part of a year, which means we are absolutely surrounded by lousy children’s books purchased by my well-meaning mother and sister. I have stashed away a few of the really awful ones, but there are still so many left on the shelves (my sister is a school teacher with horrible taste in books). Should I just keep making them disappear or try not to worry about it while making plenty of good books available as well?
Leila says
Ah, Heather, yes, that is a tricky situation. Do your best! If you think your children will just pay attention to the books you steer them towards, don’t worry too much. If they really can’t help but be distracted by the terrible books, then you will have to get clever. But how, I do not know!
I will say that usually kids don’t see things on shelves if there is a basket of books or a box with the good things nearer at hand.
Also, our kids pick up our calm and reasonable indications of what they should do. Don’t lose your peace!
Tia says
Did anyone read and love Bridge to Terabithia at about the 8 or 9-year-old age? I remember reading that in class and *loving it, and my husband, who isn’t a big reader felt the same way.