Sometimes being creative feels selfish.
Why is that?
Let me see if I can answer, because this is where I try to answer questions that I overhear others asking.
My whole life is an attempt to not have “me” time. I hate “me” time. Whenever I’ve been fooled into taking “me” time I’ve just laughed at myself, because I have to admit I’d rather be doing something else.
I love fun things and even the occasional indulgent things, and I’m all for getting out of the house once in a while. And naturally I rest and relax and read and all sorts of things that every human being needs (although not everyone has, and I’m grateful, believe me.)
But call it “me” time and you’ve killed it for me.
I’m “all in” in all the things I’ve chosen, just as surely as a nun is in her convent. No “me” time.
(There’s often “lazy” time or “bad use of time” time but I’m not perfect and neither are you. I’ve just learned from experience not to glorify all that.)
The paradox of giving up “me” time is that you get actual joy from some very personal things. In particular, it’s such a joy to make something beautiful.
I could insert a philosophical/theological treatise here on how women might or might not — but probably might — be more prone to feeling bad about feeling good because of being women, but I need to get to showering and cleaning the kitchen. This wasn’t done before on account of a busted hot-water heater that just this second got replaced. Why hot-water heaters bust in the 9° weather and not in the 80° weather I’ll never understand.
Anyway, let the seasons change. Be content when you “merely” get three meals on the table, clean up after sick people and otherwise perform various works of mercy at home and abroad, educate the ignorant, dandle the baby, and smile at your husband. You are doing good. You don’t need to do one more thing than what you’re doing.
And know that if the alignment of the planets allow, it’s not selfish but rather just as much an expression of your devotion to figure out what you enjoy doing in the creativity department and make time to do it.
We women are a bit more isolated these days than is ideal. It’s easy to forget that even if we don’t find folks to interact with at this moment (other than our family), we are still building a culture. The ideal we should be shooting for, even if we are lonely at the moment, is a certain roominess, a wide vision — in our heads and in the world.
Did you have the reading from Proverbs at your wedding? I did. I do find her encouraging. She lets her creativity go right to the city gates, and all the while she is serving everyone — her husband, her family, her community. Love her.
|Before finishing, before washing.|
|After washing the quilt gets that nice crinkly texture.|
Anyway, all that to say — here’s my teensy bit of creativity…. I made a little baby quilt and it didn’t even take that long. I went into my stash and found some fabric that I have often felt didn’t really go with anything else I have. But this fabric went with the baby I had in mind.
I started out with a general size and the thought that the stripey pattern and the white would be pleasing. Piecing strips rather than squares made everything go rather quickly, and had the added bonus of being a good design choice, I think!
The whole thing took me only a couple of hours — really! Quilting with pearl floss is brilliant. The biggest possible bang for your quilting
buck time expenditure. Since, ahem, I’m supposed to be working on not one, but three!, wedding quilts.