Our Thanksgiving weekend is usually packed with a lot of lying around trying to digest all the food combined with frantic maximizing of the potential of able bodies to do heavy lifting. It's hard getting them to move but it's worth it to accomplish the last of the raking and other late-fall rock-bottom necessities.
For instance, getting the plow on the Suburban. For this task, you need some strong guys.
The plow is naturally stowed at the very back of the Garage of Death and well packed in with bikes, lawn equipment including mower, various camp chairs, tomato cages, and other summer sundries. The mower has to be gotten clear out of the middle distance so that the plow can be dragged out, and in order to run it out of gas, at which point it takes its turn in the depths.
Part of putting on the plow is the gut-gnawing certainty that something will go pretty awry with the wiring. There is the moment when it's on and going up and down and left and right, and then there's the inevitable click of no response. At least half and hour of grumbling, frigid-fingered fumbling, and pessimistic re-connecting of all contact points ensues. At last, randomly, it works again and then can be taken off with the relief of knowing that that test of character has been passed.
Running the mower requires raking up the last of the leaves and going over what's left, although of course it won't pick up the pine needles, of which, as Suzanne points out, there is an infinite supply. No matter how many pine needles you laboriously rake up and lug out, there are more.
(Besides being ubiquitous they are bad for the lawn, and mean that we will never have a yard that looks anything other than barely presentable.)
The bees have already been tucked into bed, their entrances reduced and their tops insulated with straw.
A branch the size of a respectable tree has to be bucked up for firewood.
The sticks left over have to be gleaned. Helpers are needed for that as well. You know, all this hard work is the best argument for a big family, if you can get one! We just need all those bodies! No rest for the weary!
And then, hard on the heels of all the Thanksgiving preparations and aftermath, as well as all this battening down and winterizing, comes the turn of the year, no pause allowed, no falling back to gather oneself for the coming leap. Just plunge in to the next season!
So that's why I'm posting on a Sunday, which you know I seldom do, just to remind you of how very important this time is. Of all the things you can do to instill in your family the habit of mind that catches the little darts of understanding, of seeing upwards, of being open to the great beyond, marking the seasons of grace is the most important.
I do believe that children learn so much wonder during the season of Advent. I think that Christian families can begin to transform the world just by celebrating this season simply and with great trust.
Few words of explanation are needed.
Just live it, year in and year out, with all your faith and love. Don't worry about having things be just so — it's useful to remember that young children are entranced by just about everything, especially if it involves candlelight, and that gives you time to get your act together!
Even older children are open to new “old” ways of doing things. The key is not to seek affirmation from them, which they will seize as an excuse to oppose you, being opportunistic little buggers by nature, but rather to present things with naturalness and confidence (even if you are more nervous than confident) and because you are genuinely interested in doing them.
It's perfectly fine to state humbly, “I wish I had known about this before, but we're going to give it a go, because it's lovely. It's never too late to start!”
That's a great object lesson, when you think about it — one that may stand them in good stead at some time in the future, in ways you can't anticipate.
This year the azalea in my very haphazard front yard is brilliant with red leaves. I decided to try something a little different with my wreath. If you would like to see the efforts of years past with the Advent wreath, go here.
You are only limited by whatever you can get to with your scissors and shears!
Now, I do recommend something that slowly penetrated this thick old skull after many years of pawing through the Christmas decorations up in the Dark Attic (as Bridget dubbed one of ours; yes, we have two attics).
If you don't want to spend more time than you have to with the bat carcasses, why don't you have a separate bin for the Advent wreath forms, calendars, Jesse tree ornaments, and whatever else you would like to bring down first? And maybe mark it? Just trying to save you a couple of dozen years here.
As you can read in my previous post on the Advent wreath, this is just one of those metal forms attached to a ribbon-covered cardboard ring with wire. The gold ribbon is for hanging from the chandelier. If you don't have this capability, just place it on your dining room table, perhaps on a round tray or large dish to keep stray candle drips and leaves off your furniture.
So this year, not getting to any evergreen trimmings, I glue-gunned some pinecones I had gotten from Michael's a while ago (they were 90% off or something) onto that ring.
A little tip that you probably already know:
When you are decorating anything with a finite number of other things — a cake with strawberries, a wreath with pinecones — especially where the decorations are themselves not of equal size — rather than starting on one side with your decorations and going along and suddenly realizing you didn't allocate properly and your proportion is all off, do it this way:
Put one item on one side, another on the opposite side, a third halfway in between those two, the fourth opposite that, continuing to apply the things in a balanced way in the resulting quadrants until you've distributed the embellishments evenly.
To further avoid lopsidedness, rotate the whole shebang every once in a while.
Then I used the pinecones as a matrix for holding the azalea stems and that other greenery, whatever it is.
I think that will be very pretty. Here are all my Advent posts for your consideration. Enjoy!
Melanie B says
Leila, Last year I was inspired by your lovely wreath and went out and cut a bunch of greenery from our azaleas etc. I thought it turned out rather well. And then by about the second week of Advent there was a constant swarm of fruit flies hovering over it. We have low ceilings and no chandelier so our wreath sits on our table. Which means we had a swarm of fruit flies hovering over dinner. So Dom threw out the greenery and I had to make a third quarter substitution with a bit of plastic greenery. I'd love to give greenery from our garden another go; but I'm not sure he's going to go along. Any suggestions for keeping the pests at bay?
_Leila says
Oh no! That's never happened to me! How terrible!
I have no idea. What kind of greenery were you using, I wonder? Usually even if you left a banana on the table in December you wouldn't get fruit flies!
Well, how about pinecones from Michael's? Surely there are no pests in those!
margo says
have fruit flies mutated? because this is the first year that we have the furnace on now and still a stray fruit fly or two for a few weeks. what the heck??!
Patty says
Same here. Blech. They're bigger than the normal kind though. I don't think we even have any fruit out most of the time!
Kim says
I just found your blog last week and I enjoy your stories. I did notice in one of you pictures that one of the boys is wearing a Villanova shirt. Does he go there? My husband and I went there and now our son is there also. He is actually leaving in a few hours to head back to school.
_Leila says
Yes, Kim, he's a sophomore there and loves it.
margo says
I love how you advocate simple, yet engaged, life.
And in her advent sermon this morning, my pastor gave a great illustration: she talked about what it feels like to wake up at night and think you hear something downstairs. Every sense is alive and tingling as you listen and wait to figure out what's going on. She told us we should be THAT AWAKE to Jesus' coming this advent.
I'm slowly starting to think about Christmas, which means I'll get going on advent in a week or two. Well, actually, we have an advent calendar with chocolate, so I guess we'll be starting Tuesday 🙂
Emily says
Beautiful wreath! And I loved your tip to “save us a couple dozen years”. 🙂
Briana says
I couldn't find a candle wreath this year so I put together a wreath with what I had on hand, pie plate, playdough, and evergreen cuttings. I think I might have to buy one online for next year. I love your pine cone version!
Betsy M says
Leila, I hope that your family had a great Thanksgiving. I love your pictures of yard work on the top there. They remind me of what I was trying to explain to the neices and nephews this weekend, that “fun is not an activity but a mind set”. I can't remember where I had heard that from but it is so true, especially when working with family . We will be setting up our Advent wreath today, yours looks lovely.
Cathy says
“Even older children are open to new “old” ways of doing things. The key is not to seek affirmation from them, WHICH THEY WILL SEIZE AS AN EXCUSE TO OPPOSE YOU… ”
Are there any more wiser words written here? I am one reader who would love more wisdom regarding teenagers. Gone are the days when the simple act of Advent wreath candle lighting would create a hushed awe in little ones.
On a side note, not having sons, I actually used one of your pictures to put together a hearty breakfast for a visiting young man my daughter brought home from college. Scrambled eggs! Cinnamon rolls! Bacon! Sausage! Lots of food! Although teen girls can certainly put it away as well, in my experience girls are happy with one or two menu items. Our guest looked positively thrilled when he saw the breakfast spread. Thank you Leila!
Maria says
I found your blog a couple of days ago and your Thanksgiving looked wonderful! I like your Advent Wreath, it looks very pretty. We're making ours tomorrow. I like your comment about large families coming in handy for the yardwork! It is fun when we work together and the little ones feel useful and everyone contributes!
Sue says
“The key is not to seek affirmation from them, which they will seize as an excuse to oppose you”
This really helped me a lot! We have a lot of changes coming this year, and I've been trying to figure out how to fit in all of those beloved traditions while enjoying new ones. Our old church had Christmas Eve on the 23rd, because it's a national holiday. The thinking was that they could get more people to attend, everyone being off work that day, and all. That always bugged me.
I'm glad that we will now have a big part of our Christmas Eve and Christmas Day spent properly – at church. However, because of the fact that school kids here aren't even off until almost Christmas Eve all of the children's activities are also jammed into those two days. There's not lots of time left for preparing our traditional dinners and all, which has my eldest a bit grumpy!
Your advice made me realize that I can make or break this deal with my attitude. If I jump in and plan everything well, with a smile and a positive attitude, she will eventually come along. I'm just not the best planner ever, and I'm praying that I don't get overwhelmed! :o)
_Leila says
It's completely natural for children entering adolescence to balk a little or show attitude at things they consider “little kids' stuff,” and I think it can be a good brake on overly sentimental behavior. In other words, we do have to adjust and take each others' preferences into account.
As our children make their ideas known, we can adjust and examine just what is essential and what is expendable. Also, some years are truly more rushed than others (even having Christmas fall on a weekend can make the whole rhythm so different from when it's on a week day).
Keep it simple, plan ahead, and do what you want to do! You can remind them that part of your job is to give them memories for when they have little kids, and that you wouldn't want them to forget anything important 😉
Erin says
We're also celebrating Advent! This year we did research on the meanings of each of the items in our homemade advent wreath. It was so beautiful to watch my youngest light the first candle tonight right before dinner. My oldest reminded me a new liturgical year has begun!
Rachel P. says
I was all set for Advent. Fantastic dinner planned, wreath base ready to go (made from grape vines off my parent's arbor), candles, scriptures and songs at the ready. And then…my husband was sick last night and didn't come to church, I couldn't find the candles (a labeled box wouldn't help in this situation), the holly I had planned on using for my wreath was pointed out by my mother to have poisonous berries on it which my two year old would LOVE to pop in his mouth the second I wasn't looking and after reading the first page of the advent book I had planned on using I can tell you with resolution we will NOT be using it. After being sick, my husband wasn't hungry and my children turned their noses up at the hurried meal I prepared. Yikes, I certainly hope I can get my act together by tomorrow. I love advent. Just as you said, Leila, it reminds us to have a sense of awe and wonder.
Sara says
I know you're pleased to know that I have all my Advent boxes labelled! The problem is that there are too many of them!!!