Just about all the analyses about the demise of our culture go on at length about political philosophy, policies, historical influences, top-down conspiracies, failures of legitimate and successes of illegitimate authorities, economic blunders, and so on, but I have yet to come across one that puts its finger on the actual problem to explain our bewildered state, our sense of impending doom, and our descent into chaos. Yet it has to do with the most fundamental institution: the family.
Where men and women don't fall in love, marry, and have children, society simply loses its will to create, to grow, to care — and will not flourish. It can't solve its problems, though it can endlessly wrangle about them. Conflict will reign.
But what good does it do to try to observe this fact, to try to put it into words, when it is so big, no one can see it? And what experts in economics and politics have the patience to lay their vast knowledge at the feet of a simple truth, located in the human spirit and not in complex models and statistics?
Instead I regard my task as something different: pointing out to anyone who will listen the way to do it.
Even if it's just one man and one woman deciding to have faith and live differently from the way the world things they should, they need a little encouragement from someone who can honestly say, “If I can [sort of, after a fashion, not very well,] do it, so can you!”
I believe that hearing of the worthiness of the goal of restoration, and acknowledgement that anyway, it's what we want to do in our heart of hearts, and then hearing how to do it so we can overcome the fear that we won't be able to, is the way forward.
There is philosophy: the deep contemplation of eternal truths, of being, of knowing, and I maintain that standing at the kitchen sink, a woman can engage in deep thought and even prayer, unbeknownst to anyone else and maybe even herself. There are principles, and they are worth considering. There is abstract rumination, which isn't quite philosophy and has the effect, often, of paralysis.
Going over and over the internal arguments — especially the ones about the sexes and children — doesn't even get us over to the sink. Not only will we not be contemplating any great notions — we won't even be doing the dishes. And when the dishes pile up, the sense of failure overcomes us! Never mind world war! Even in the kitchen things are not right.
The reason I say plan your meals and get the laundry under control — and even the reason I post pictures of my little corners and doings — is simple. The pragmatic approach can get us to where we need to be where thinking, after a point, won't.
I can't tell you how often I have observed both men and women fail to come to grips with the real challenge because they are uselessly re-hashing long settled debates (settled, that is, in reality, but not according to the self-serving plans of the forces that keep the pot of social commentary stirred).
Actually having a plan (thinking, yes, but also making a list) to do the very minimum I have to do (not the maximum!) in order to have a happy, peaceful home and then doing it, even if I need a nap somewhere in there, helps me reconcile myself to a very important task, which is actually saving the world the only way I can.
A man has trouble sacrificing himself to the work necessary to provide for his family if his family never really gets established and always seems to be on the brink of disaster, if not abandonment. So the wife at the heart of his home really does help him take heart when he sets out to do his job — and save the world, the only way he can!
How did ordinary, normal people get to the point where they agreed with the idea that having and nurturing children is bad? Or that making the home is stupid and unnecessary? Or that being bound to one person in a complementary union, for life, is disposable?
In his book The Well and the Shallows, G. K. Chesterton famously remarks, “It has been left to the very latest Modernists to proclaim an erotic religion which at once exalts lust and forbids fertility.” He implicates Christians in that category, the “very latest Modernists.” “The new Paganism literally merits the reproach of Swinburne, when mourning for the old Paganism: ‘and rears not the bountiful token and spreads not the fatherly feast.'”
The fatherly feast. When did we become convinced that bounty — the bounty of children where God gives them — must be resisted?
So strange, but not when you observe the perpetual anxiety that has us enthralled, so that we never question the main premise, and never assent to the cost of living in a way to affirm that the good things of life are not monetary, nor ought we to monetize our blessings.
My approach is to show the pragmatic beginnings for the woman, the heart of the home, so susceptible to doubt, so ready to be swayed by the voices pulling her away! Tidy up that room, fold that laundry, start that supper early. Detach from the sense that your hours need to be billable, so to speak. Be inefficient in the eyes of the world and efficient to your own standards. Prudence means leaving plenty of time, for everyone in your life depends on you being available.
When did we determine that our availability, secured by our resistance to outside commitments, especially transactional ones, is a burden? It is, in fact, freedom, both personal and societal. And without the availability of the mother, we are even less able than we thought to help others restore peace in our world.
From today's Office of Readings, Psalm 106:
40 Contempt was poured forth upon their princes: and he caused them to wander where there was no passing, and out of the way.
41 And he helped the poor out of poverty: and made him families like a flock of sheep.
42 The just shall see, and shall rejoice, and all iniquity shall stop their mouth.
43 Who is wise, and will keep these things: and will understand the mercies of the Lord?
{By the way, I'm taking a summer break as my children make their way back here and we have a bit of vacation, so I shall see you, God willing, after the first week of July! I will probably post on Happy Despite Them and other social media, linked below.}
Decorating Corner
I've been trying to force myself to put up pictures and other decorations — in the kitchen and all over. I have severe commitment issues about this, but doing the kitchen has made me realize how unfinished it all looks if you don't put up your personal touches. So I think I've been doing a pretty good job!
But when I thought I was done in the kitchen, I realized I had eliminated the spot for the chalkboard and/or bulletin board, and combined with not having a free-standing fridge, this meant I had a little pile of pictures and prayer cards and mementoes that was literally a pile I moved around from place to place, but actually it just was on the sofa where I do my computer work.
I couldn't tidy the den (sofa and beyond) until I found a place to put these little objects.
I moved the Gourmet poster (which I actually won back in the day from their site!) up to the laundry room where I believe I will be the only person ever to see it but for now that's fine. It's fortuitously covering a defect in the wall there, so we'll go with it.
I got the old bulletin board out of the garage, cleaned it up, and painted the frame one of my favorite yellows, Benjamin Moore San Mateo Beaches, which we used in the Chief's office.
Now most of my pile is taken care of. But not all… and also there is no room for actual active items so I think I need something else, maybe in the pantry…
Knitting Corner
I told my husband not to turn on the TV last night without making me first get out my sweater and pattern so I could finally face casting on the sleeve before sinking into couch-potato mode — and he didn't!!
Husband fail!!
But I was able to reach the basket and pull it over to me without getting up, so it happened. The stitches are picked up and here's hoping I can finish this sweater before it gets cold again.
Ask Auntie Leila (and crowd-sourcing) Corner
Dear Bethany asks:
I'm in the midst of planning our coming homeschool year, and would like to know if you have any recommendations for saint's biographies for 8th or 9th grade students. We use Ambleside Online, and while I love many of their book choices, all of their spiritual formation books focus on missionaries in the 19th and 20th centuries. We'd really like to expand the focus to Christians in other times and places. I'm guessing there are certain biographies that are considered classic, but really don't know where to begin looking. We have already considered Augustine's Confessions, but would like to look at more options before deciding. So, can you suggest any?
I answered:
That's a good idea! Ignatius Press has a whole series on the saints that is very good.
These look excellent. I haven't read them all but Rosie's MIL, my friend Ann, has, as have many of my other friends, and they all recommend them. The ones written by Louis De Wohl are excellent for sure.
There is the Mark Twain book about St. Joan of Arc (affiliate link), which used to be our Suki's favorite at that age, and Chesterton on St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Francis of Assisi (affiliate link).
I will ask on the blog if people have books to add to the list!
Readers, consider yourselves asked! Thank you!
bits & pieces
- Diabolical Marks of Self-Inflicted Violence by Fr. Jerry Pokorsky. “The IVF industrial complex violates God’s law, deforms the natural relations of men, women, and children, disposes of unwanted babies, and treats humans as animals. Some suggest that IVF technology is “pro-life.” If so, Doctor Frankenstein’s techniques are also pro-life. Authentic science exalts—but does not mutilate—the handiwork of God.”
- The Galileo Controversy: “It is commonly believed that the Catholic Church persecuted Galileo for abandoning the geocentric (earth-at-the-center) view of the solar system for the heliocentric (sun-at-the-center) view.” Is this correct? A good article about what really happened.
- Modern Architecture: Designed to Demoralize? by Michael Strand. “Disregard for the knowledge we have about humans and humane environments is contributing to a public health crisis. There is no nicer way of saying this. Modern architecture is doing a huge disservice to the planet and to people, and it is being done in the name of aesthetic relativism and other ideologies that don’t stand up to the slightest scrutiny. It is a depraved philosophy and one we are paying for dearly, not only psychologically but financially, ecologically, and socially.”
from the archives
- Poetry Day! It might be fun to start in the summer. Instead of “summer school” which is torture, why not do something you might feel you don't have time for in the regular curriculum? A good way to spend those hot afternoons?
liturgical living
St. John Fisher and St. Thomas More, martyrs
Monday is the Solemnity of the Nativity of St. John the Baptist, so tomorrow night might be good for a bonfire!
They are literally saints and martyrs for marriage! Be not afraid!
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My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. It will take me a while to get things organized, but you'll be patient, I know!
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Your bulletin board ideat for refrigerator “decor”made me think of my dear mother’s frig, which she covered with qoutes and religious images for decades. When she passed away we made copies of the best of them for family members and titled it “Mimi’s Refrigeator Legacy”. Never underestimate the impact of all those random bits faith and inspiration you sprinkle about your home. Love the new placement of your wall pocket!
Aw, that’s so sweet — yes, those little things mean a lot!
Thank you!
In response to Bethany’s question, I really recommend Celeste Cruz’s blog Joyous Lessons, and in particular her yearly round-up of resources she uses for all things Catholic history and religion, including saints biographies! I use the Charlotte Mason philosophy to home educate, using the CMEC as our curriculum, and I have gotten so many amazing recommendations from both the CMEC and Celeste’s blog, to counterbalance the Protestant bias. Hope this helps! https://joyouslessons.blogspot.com/2023/06/catholic-history-and-religion-2023-24.html?m=1
I second this!
I third it! She is such an excellent resource!
I agree — I’ve linked to Celeste’s information before, and there are lots of good resources there!
Helena by Evelyn Waugh is excellent!
I haven’t quite finished it but Sigrid Undset wrote a biography of St. Catherine of Siena.
The new publishing house Cor Jesu Press has brought back into print biographies of Sts. Francis and Dominic, and by now they may have more as well.
I second Helena! And his biography of Edmund Campion might be my favorite saint biography of all time. Waugh is just such an excellent writer.
I love that bio of Catherine of Siena! Sigrid did such a good job telling her story; I fell in complete love with Catherine after reading it! It also had a huge influence on my prayer life!
Yes, excellent!
What knitting pattern is that?
It’s Altheda: https://knitlovewool.gumroad.com/l/Altheda?layout=profile
Is that an entire shelf full of butter related things?!?! I have been making my own butter lately, and just had to comment on your little butter nook! (Maybe they are for cookies…?) Either way…love it!
Thanks! They are my Springerle molds, for cookies! I had wanted to put them up on a wall so I could see what I have without rummaging, and this really is the perfect place. Down below are my bud vases… I have shown them on other posts.
Geez, the anxiety over hanging up art and pictures. It’s too real. We moved recently and God bless my husband for finally digging out the box of art and adorning the house one evening. What a difference it’s made.
Homeschool sort of question:
Does anyone here know of any good children’s books that touch on religious music, its origins and history. I’m thinking in terms of many, many books about composers and classical music. Any good recommendations on picture books or early readers on songs in the Old Testament? Psalms and King David? Early church and martyrs? Monastic singing and the divine office? Etc.
Going out on a limb here. But I was asked if there were any sources like this recently and I just don’t know. It’s a very “lived” thing in a way, and that’s all I could really think to recommend. But maybe a good children’s book on this sort of subject could help some families trying to get their bearings in the traditional realm of things/Catholicism.
Not immediately helpful, but my husband is working with a few other people right now to write a book about music for Catholic families. It will be a resource to help families learn about and make music together including chant (also teaching liturgy of the hours), hymnody, and folk songs organized by liturgical season. The hope is to also include sacred visual art to accompany the musical selections. Not sure yet on a timeline but might be available in the next year.
I’m interested to hear about any book suggestions others have, since music is a big interest in our family!
This post has a book I came across that might be of interest to you. You have to scroll down a bit: https://likemotherlikedaughter.org/2017/01/a-little-chatty-a-little-learning-sacred-music-with-children/
This is so cool! Is there a place that we all can keep an eye out for this resource when it’s ready?!
For now, he said you’re welcome to email him and he can let you know when there’s some more official news! Andrew Goldstein: andyrgoldstein@gmail.com
That’s a good question!
We can have our cake and eat it too-wash our dishes WHILE we listen to your and Phil’s podcast.
Yay! Thanks for listening!
For a crazy in-depth, all you could ever want to know series of essays about Galileo, “The Great Ptolomaic Smackdown” on the blog The O’Flynn Spot is so good, so eye opening. It’s also incredibly long, so I use a read aloud app (it struggles with “St” not being “street” but you get used to that). I revisit it every year or so, because I am am inveterate nerd.
Loved the poem about St Joseph, gonna read that to my husband.
I enjoyed the hagiography of St. John Vianney by Henri Gheon (the introduction is written by Chesterton) so much that I bought a used hardcover version to share with my husband and children. : )
Undset’s collection of hagiographies in Stages on the Road https://www.avemariapress.com/products/stages-on-the-road I bought a used hardcover edition of as well because I liked reading it but I wonder if it would interest or be appreciated by highschoolers.
Btw, love that you have sconces! Both for flowers and for light!
Ignatius Press only prints a handful of the Vision books, there were more than 70 of them and you can still find many on used book sites. Use Bookfinder for these titles: https://www.raceforheaven.com/page/vision-series-books
St. Athanasius’s biography of St. Antony of the Desert is very short and not difficult.
Gregory of Nyssa’s Life of Moses.
Story of a Soul by St. Therese of Lisieux
Treasure in Clay by Ven. Fulton Sheen (autobiography, very lively prose)
So timely, as always. We are also trying to sub a few of the AO books for Year 7, and my husband and I would love for our son to read two or three of the early church fathers as part of that substitution. We aren’t sure exactly what just yet, but sometimes we read a patristic selection from the Office of Readings and think, “This is a perfect commentary for a middle school student to read, where is the whole thing?”
We found this collection:
https://svspress.com/the-popular-patristic-set/
It’s their whole collection for a mere $1138.40! :p
The list is links to individual listings for each book. I haven’t looked yet to see if any of these translations can be found used, but it’s a great list from which to jump off.
And as a note, in some of the upper years, AO does include Catholic classics, so don’t miss those! 🙂
Regarding the Saint books — a dear friend of mine just published this one through TAN.
https://tanbooks.com/products/books/eucharistic-saints-twenty-stories-of-devotion-to-jesus/
It may be more suitable for younger children — mine ran off with the copy and I haven’t had a chance to look through it. But the illustrations are beautiful and another writer friend wrote a review here:
https://open.substack.com/pub/thehollow/p/a-review-of-eucharistic-saints?r=17ws3w&utm_medium=ios