I have hesitated to write about this because often people think, “Celebrate all twelve days of Christmas! Sounds like too much.” And I'm no expert, nor would I set myself up as an example. On the other hand, we really did this, all those years, learning as we went, so maybe you'd like to know…
I'm going to tell you what our family did to celebrate all twelve days of Christmas, thanks to the Chief insisting on us living our Advent, my first three children being born in December, and living on one income with all that implies.
And I am going to give you suggestions for your shopping (since, like me, you probably didn't DIY everything starting last January, nor did you thrift any of it — but next year you will and so will I).
The gift-giving questions in my inbox can be more or less summed up by this one from dear Shawna:
Christmas is coming and I'm dreading the stress and expense. Then there's the “hangover” that follows the spending. I have 7 children (Ages 17 – 7 months) and even with the idea of magi gifts (3: one to read: one desired; one needed) [editor's note: we've also seen 4, which includes one to wear] it's expensive. Plus the children are so fixated on the gifts that they fail to understand the gift of Christ as the real reason for Christmas. Additionally the well thought out and hard earned gifts are frequently forgotten shortly after Christmas day. We do a traveling nativity, we do sacrifices, we attend Mass. How do we simplify Christmas and make it meaningful and affordable?
Dear Shawna,
The way our society celebrates Christmas really does put a lot of burden on the parents to be magical and fulfill every wish of their child — even if the child doesn't seem all that interested in our contortions at the end of the day because others swooped in with far more enchanting gifts — or he actually just liked the box the gift came in.
Like a lot of other things (unsupervised play for children, less pressure for outside activities, lower college tuition), if more people had more children, gift-giving wouldn't seem so high stakes. Well. We just have to do what we can, keeping in mind that children are hard-wired to find just about everything magical, if only we could just relax a bit…
I've found that living liturgically, as always, contains the key to the answer, which, however, must be put into practice in the context of our own family with its likes, dislikes, and particular unique ways of doing things.
In other words, Christmas is a great time for us parents to rely a bit more on the grace of our own family life and a bit less on comparisons with other people — and thus, with the utmost naturalness, to begin to teach our children to do the same (and isn't that the point?).
What if we, having lived Advent, also live Christmas? Which is a season? I'm going to take it for granted that we are on board with the concept of gift-giving being appropriate at Christmas time (because gifts and Christmas are delightful and magical, don't have time to explain why) — but we are indeed overwhelmed. Let's try spreading things out a bit and not burdening that one day with all the “magic.”
This is what we did about celebrating all twelve days of Christmas — and we really did these things!
So on Christmas Day itself, the children open their one (1) count 'em ONE Santa present (and their other presents from guests and in their stockings, because we did not have the good sense to do stockings on the Feast of St. Nick back in the day when we should have been foreseeing this craziness) (in my defense, was having babies).
In the stockings are maybe socks, a tangerine at the foot (do collect them after a day or two to avoid yuck), a bunch of special candies, and some fun little toys.
With seven children (in your case and mine), that is already a boatload of presents!
Then in the following days gift-giving arranges itself.
Pro-tip: Make a chart or, what I did, use a long strip of paper (such as adding-machine paper because this was before we learned to Pinterest everything up) and have all the Days with their gift/activity written down and posted for all to see. Wish I had taken a picture of it! It was cute. This builds anticipation and keeps you on track. Don't be scared.
The key is this: Half the things you were going to do anyway and (almost) half are actually quite peaceful. But you are spreading them out over the days rather than dumping them all at once into one day, or making them something separate, like vacation activities. If there is a need (and winter is coming, so yes), give the mittens and hats on the Feast of St. Nicholas. Give pjs and nightgowns on Christmas Eve Day.
Let me give you a typical scenario at our house (you must adjust according to your particulars and the day of the week):
2nd Day of Christmas: Visiting extended family with inevitable gift-giving. Or — and this became a real tradition with us — making gingerbread houses. Turns out that this “little project” we always think we are going to do is a full-on day-long (at least) extravaganza of marathon baking, decorating, and general sugar-coating of the kitchen. Since we had the birthdays during Advent, I somehow got the idea to do this after Christmas in the Christmas season. As the kids got older, our modest efforts became “gingerbread villages,” “gingerbread forts,” and “gingerbread Fenway parks.” (Bonus: the candy is all on deep discount.)
- You will need Gingerbread Family Set cookie cutters, but beware: it's only the beginning! (For instance, that church had a stained glass window and flying buttresses.)
3rd Day: A whole-family present like a board game that all can play (it's okay if the littles aren't absolutely included in this — they don't really care/can be on someone's “team” until they go play with cars) or a special piece for the Brio train, Lego, or Playmobil collection. This latter gift (say, a train bridge) results in the pulling out of the bin and the communal building of a fabulous new track. In other words, you are renewing interest in old toys with one gift for everyone.
Now is the time to put the bee in your relatives' bonnets about these items. You know the ones I mean: The well-meaning people in your life who shower you with things you don't want and toys that are inappropriate. These toys I'm suggesting are still in my toy closet after all these years because they are awesome. See if you can gently nudge your nemeses to give the family one of the pricier of the following things instead of their own dreaded selections:
- Brio (quality substitutes are fine, eg Melissa & Doug or Ikea): starter set; expansion pack; the sort of piece that makes them pull the bin out.
- The playmobil people need an excellent fort-like castle or this medieval castle.
- We also like these people for general doll-house play: Arshiner Happy Doll Family of 6 People.
- Also the ever-charming Calico Critters.
- Board games: I just played Ticket To Ride for the first time — really fun! I only wonder why they made the cards so unnecessarily small; I know the Chief will be annoyed by having to peer the entire time. Otherwise, a good game. We also enjoy Dominion.
In the evening, we might have had a simple supper and gone caroling, which usually astonished people because they thought Christmas was over.
4th Day: (Remember, they are on vacation here.) Museum trip, Nutcracker, or ice skating — yes, we were going to do some of this anyway. Scout out the free/discount day.
5th Day: Open the box a far-off relative sent (which you cleverly did not put out on Christmas Day). Or do jigsaw puzzles. It's good to have a quiet day in here… and, it's okay, by the way, to have one day be more for the older kids/adults and one day more for the younger kids. It's okay. Children learn to enjoy each other's enjoyment. They have things to do on their own. This is all good.
6th Day: For many years we lived not far from an amazing book store, The New England Mobile Book Fair. On a day during Christmas we would plan an afternoon to browse. With seven kids? Yes, with seven kids –it's that kind of place (I mean, I don't know what the staff thought but it's sort of a warehouse and I have no shame). I would get lost in the remainders section; the older kids would hunt down Tintin books; the Chief would find his favorite publisher (the books are somewhat maddeningly arranged by publisher) and settle down; the younger kids would sort of run in between us. Baby on someone's hip. Park the toddler in the cart with a board book. Everyone could get a book or two.
If you don't have a bookstore near you, this is the day to give the books you ordered. (Unless someone really wished for a certain book on Christmas Day, you save them for their own day so they don't get lost in the dazzle of the toys.)
Shawna responded to my email with thanks — and the idea of beginning a read-aloud the day after Christmas, which I love:
- Dangerous Journey (which I see is back in print! Huzzah!) — Best read-aloud ever. I posted about this book in The Library Project. Peruse other titles in the read-aloud category for other ideas.
7th Day: This is actually New Year's Eve. I suggest a party for reasons I explain in this post. Maybe you have a family tradition on this day, like eating Chinese food — go for it as a Day of Christmas and New Year's Eve. When the kids were under 14, we would often bundle them up for a trip — on the train! — into Boston for “First Night” — a city-wide celebration of winter activities, all free. We'd eat street food and get really cold. That we didn't do the more sophisticated concert/party/midnight revelry things was never even on the kids' radar. It's dark by 4 and to them, it's late.
At our New Year's Eve party that we inaugurated in later years, we would feature smashing and eating the gingerbread creations. Schedule this in so that you don't make the mistake either of eating them right away (unseemly) or leaving them too long (gross).
8th Day: New Year's Day, Feast of the Mother of God: Mass (it's a holy day of obligation), family movie. In the years that we did First Night on New Year's Eve, we had a party with a family or two on this day, very relaxed and enjoyable.
- It's A Wonderful Life
- Kit Kittredge
- The movie of Tintin is cute
- Here's one for the very littles: The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
9th Day: Enjoy that box of candy that keeps getting overlooked. (Or smash and eat gingerbread creations.)
10th Day: Family walk (one of these days is bound to be mild[er]!) — bundle up and get out there!
11th Day: Reading day. (Anything can be a Day of Christmas! Just give it a name! Nap day!!) Other thoughts: Really delving into that one gift (like Axis & Allies) that takes forever to figure out and set up; visiting an elderly relative who is just a bit far away; breakfast for supper; making a model or doing a craft; assembling the bike or what have you.
12th Day: The Epiphany. Bake a crown cake. Optional but highly recommended: Giving your gifts to each other and to the children — vs. the one Santa gift you gave on Christmas Day, remember? Often I would buy these on deep clearance at some point during the week, having now ascertained what each child actually wanted (because that's how it the magic/burden nexus works). Or not.
(Edited to add: As I said, this post reflects what we actually did — including me getting confused about what day the Epiphany falls on! So to be clear, it's January 6th. The 12th Day is the Vigil of “Little Christmas.” And further, the Church (in the Novus Ordo calendar) celebrates the Epiphany on the 2nd Sunday after Christmas. So I very much would choose when we would celebrate based on the day of the week and what the family at large was doing. For instance, if the 12th Day fell on a Sunday — making the 6th a Monday, we'd do our Little Christmas on the 12th Day. If January 6 was on Saturday, we'd do it then. If I was going crazy with everyone's schedule, we'd do it on the 2nd Sunday, somewhat over the protests of the Chief, who nevertheless realized I was hanging by a thread. This is called rolling with the punches.)
My list is based on my family having been thrown very much on its own resources. But it might be that you are in a community or large extended family that supplies many activities of its own. Any special thing on that day is the gift for that day! Any particular interest your family has could be encouraged in this season! See how it works?
And do you see that it frees up Christmas Day itself to be calmer?
If you are thinking, “Well, no,” I offer the following testimonial from Rosie: “I always felt that my one Santa gift was magical; I secretly thought my friends were deprived because they didn't celebrate Little Christmas (Twelfth Day).” “The stockings were the best and most fun,” I remember Nick saying, not long ago.
I haven't surveyed them all — I'm a little afraid to, because I always feel that I didn't do a good job and that the magic wasn't there. We parents are hard on ourselves… But Rosie encouraged me to tell you all about this, so I am.
Remember, on Christmas morning, gather the waiting children and say a little prayer at the creche where you've secretly put Baby Jesus in the manger after they went to bed on Christmas Eve. After the Christmas Mass, whether it was at Midnight or during the day, don't worry that you are not being religious enough. The feast is meant to be worship and [then] celebration. Just enjoy the day together… and all the other days in this season of grace.
My little Advent series so far:
Premature or Overwhelming Christmas Parties
priest's wife @byzcathwife says
one easy awesome (to us) tradition for the Christmas season is/was ‘teddy bear’s picnic’ – lay out a blanket on living room floor, play Christmas music, drink something with your favorite stuffed animal.
Laura S. says
Thanks for all the suggestions; love this and will be revisiting to ponder how we will string out our twelve days. One thing I am already planning for one of the days is a little mother/daughter tea party with a few friends.
One year, my husband and I gave each other twelve gifts, spread throughout the twelve days, based on the first few verses of Isaiah 61. I totally cannot remember what the categories were that we came up with, but it was a lot of fun. It’s not become a tradition due to the expanding family and single income, but if your bank account is feeling flush… Maybe someday in fatter times we will revisit. And hopefully his memory is better than mine.
As far as Ticket to Ride, get the expansion pack — much more fun and normal-size cards.
Just a parting question, you label 12th Day as Epiphany, but if the First Day is Christmas Day, then wouldn’t 12th Day fall on January 5? And isn’t Epiphany on January 6?
Jen says
Always wondered this. Cannot figure it out
Lisa G. says
I was thinking the same thing: Christmas Day is the first day of Christmas, the evening of Jan. 5th is Twelfth Night, the 6th, Epiphany. The Twelve Days of Christmas, and then Epiphany. I think. ??
But, this is all very delightful! And I don’t have children, but I love reading this. God bless you.
Charlotte says
Laura,
Epiphany is January 6th (although, the Church often moves the liturgical celebration to the nearest Sunday). The 12th day of Christmas is January 5th also called Twelfth Night. I think Leila might have just miscounted.
Leila says
Yes, confusion, I edited to explain. Thanks!
Lauren says
I’m still working out the kinks on how to combat this issue since my kids are still young and still trying to figure out our traditions. This is what we’re doing this year (or what I plan to do next year):
I bought the kids one present for St. Nick day. Their stockings contain consumable gifts (candy canes, chocolate oranges, gold coins, etc- which have symbolism for crozier and gold).
For Christmas Eve and Christmas day, we spend that day with family so the kids get to open gifts from the grandparents and in laws. We, as parents, are doing nothing for them for gifts this day. We will be going to Mass and be busy with family. If I can fit it in (it’s hard when the kids are so young), I read the Nativity story book and we will put up the tree and hang lights inside the house.
Throughout the Christmas season I’m going to try and plan a fun dessert for dinner and a game or activity. These will be available but if we run out of time, no big deal. I’m going to try to incorporate the twelve days of CHristmas song into activities and desserts. Partridge in a pear tree could be a pear dessert, maids a milking could be tres leche cake, etc. I don’t have all the kinks worked out yet. Games such as CHristmas charades, roll a christmas tree or reindeer, nativity bingo, etc.
Also, throughout the Christmas season we will open our Dollar store CHristmas presents to each other. THis was something I started last year and it was a hit for everyone and we even started doing it with my sister’s family. Basically, we take all the kids to the dollar tree store and give them one dollar for each person in the immediate family. They get to select a gift for each person, all the shopping is done in ONE place, and we don’t spend a fortune. It’s kind of a fun game, too ,trying to pick out in the store what they would like the most or something silly. Even playing field for everyone too. With 5 in our family we spend $25. Awesome, right?!
Hubby is in charge of one present on 3 kings day. I set out special toys and dress up clothes throughout the advent and christmas season and things like shepherd’s hooks and Wise Men King costumes are a fun hit for the little ones, and 3 kings day is celebrated.
We also have our anniversary on Dec. 15th. We try to do something fun together as a family to celebrate. This year we’re going to an indoor water park for the day. We’ve often talked about doing a family activity or mini vacation in lieu of presents, although it hasn’t come to fruition yet.
Elizabeth Anne says
I love this. My husband and I were just talking about to make Christmas both less materialistic and also more fun. The idea of having theme days appeals to the planner in me, and it is nice to realize, too, that the plan can be to relax. haha Did your family talk much about Santa as your kids grew up? Were the gifts Christmas Day “from Santa”? I’m always curious to hear how other Catholic families include Santa or why they don’t and how they manage that. We sort of downplay that whole part of Christmas, but I can’t bring myself to not include the dear old man altogether. We do put out their shoes December 6 and have no issues with St. Nicholas…is that contradictory? reasonable? I’m not sure myself!
Maureen says
I also wondered about the “Santa” gifts. My childhood home had no Santa in it (my father went so far as to replace tags saying “from Santa” with ones listing the actual givers, my grandparents). Our daughter has only just turned 1, but we are already thinking we won’t have Santa in our traditions, though we’ll do something for St. Nicholas Day.
Dixie says
You can just make it a non-issue, if you want. Kids will naturally hear about, see, etc. Santa as they get older. You can tell them it’s a fun pretend based on St. Nicholas that helps us understand God’s generosity, love, Jesus’ birthday, etc.. Then, you can play that pretend with them as much or as little as you want (and don’t constantly remind them it’s pretend — they know fairyland is for fun)! It doesn’t have to be a big deal, and yet they can enjoy the magic of it and you don’t have to censor so many of our cultural traditions.
Leila says
Maureen and Elizabeth Anne, we love Santa (aka St. Nicholas). I think the way to approach this is to consult your own traditions and do what you can to perpetuate them. If you have none, you should consult the traditions of those you love and admire, and adopt them as your own as best you can.
What I think we need to avoid is approaching the things of faith (with a “little f” — like fairy tales and legends and stories for children that are ratified by long usage) with a rationalism that isn’t fitting. There are many ways to know something, and a thing can be true without being subject to the cold razor of doubt. We moderns hamper our capacity for wonder, knowing, and life because we succumb to a very limited way of understanding. Everything is subject to the principle of non-contradiction (that a thing cannot BE and NOT BE). But not everything is binary in the way we have come to expect. Children, certainly, live in a world of wonder that we are in danger of utterly mistaking.
For a little more on this, here is a great post I have linked before:
http://www.touchstonemag.com/archives/article.php?id=18-10-011-v
And here is a scan of a letter to the editor by G. K. Chesterton, arguing against a book that, I guess, is questioning the existence of Santa.
http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?_r=2&res=9405EEDF163FE633A25751C2A9649D946396D6CF
Saoirse says
We adore Santa here. I insist that we have Santa, but following the traditions of my own parents – Santa brings each child 3 gifts – just like the 3 wise men brought Jesus. This typically includes one larger gift or most wished for gift (Past gifts have been a midsized lego, a scooter and a pogo stick), a smaller gift (like a card game, little board game or costume jewelry for my daughter), and something to wear (sometimes it this is sporting gear – my one son plays lacrosse – and he got a new (as opposed to gross team swap box) uniform shirt last year.) We also give “Parent” gifts to the kids – always a special book or the like. We do Christkindl with the kids – each of us select a person and are given $15 to spend throughout the season. Everyone is only allowed to add $5 personal money. This is my favorite thing to do. I love seeing the kids try and do sweet things like buy someone their favorite candy and leave it on the pillow. My one son had a pure brilliant thought last year. Another son was tearing through the Magic Tree House series. He hated reading them out of order – and the library was driving him crazy. He asked to go to the used bookstore several towns over and for 25 cents each bought him the books AND gifted them to him in order throughout Advent! (The remainder were given with some candy on Christmas.) It was the most fabulous series gift ever and it was so incredibly sweet. The kids really get into this tradition – it is so exciting to see them plan to treat their siblings lovingly.
For the 12 days of Christmas, we try to intentionally go to places we have memberships (zoo and museum). We take advantage of some local parks programs – guided hikes and the like. We also do a city Christmas picture scavenger hunt. We live near enough to NYC to do a day in Manhattan. We started last year splitting into two teams each armed with a camera phone – and a list of things to find! Last year, we included things like ice skaters and decorations – but also to find a particular saint statue in the Cathedral. We met up 2 hours later for hot chocolate and laughed over the different pictures. It can be done anywhere – and is so not expensive. A dear priest friend once suggested we just celebrate the 12 days with family time – and so we try to.
Elizabethanne says
We do talk about Santa, but we have relatives who really push it by giving us reindeer food and just constantly bringing up the Santa part of Christmas like if you’re not good, Santa won’t come. It just begins to feel sort of manipulative then. We read the Night Before Christmas and we say Santa is really St. Nicholas. It isn’t that I’m against it totally or exclude him. I agree the magic part, the pretending and joy, that’s important. I guess it’s things like putting out cookies for him, writing letters to him, feeding his reindeer that feel like lying a little. I’m from a sort of complicated family situation, so it could be that my childhood drama/ manipulative adults in my childhood color how I interpret this. .. which I why I so appreciate hearing all these great ideas and the reasoning you all use. God bless you all!
Maureen says
Thank you for the links, Leila – both articles give me much to think about, especially as I am partial to Chesterton’s fairyland, but now realize that I don’t know how to create that for my own child[ren]. Much to think about, indeed!
Elizabeth says
I love the idea of setting one day aside for gingerbread houses. Also one for eating! My mother made a gingerbread Norwegian Stave Church one year for something our church was doing. It sat in the attic for several years because she couldn’t bear to throw it out after having worked so hard on it! Pretty sure the mice got it eventually – much better to eat these creations ourselves!
Leila says
Elizabeth — yes, this has been my fear, and thus I instituted the “break and eat” day — note the shadowy person in the background of that picture who is wielding what looks like a rolling pin!!
Kim F. says
This post is so wonderful! Thank you for all the work you’ve done for the rest of us. We already do stockings on Dec. 6th and little gifts on Epiphany. But I think this year I’m going to follow your advice for the 12 Days of Christmas. Thanks again!
Katherine says
Many, if not most, moms would think I’m crazy, but I do no decorating before Christmas Eve. My husband insisted on this early in our marriage so we could really live Advent. We buy the tree about a week before Christmas and leave it outside. Christmas Eve day, we bring it in and set it up. In the evening, after the younger ones are sent to bed, we decorate the tree and the living room. Seeing the kids’ faces Christmas morning, was well worth the extra work. My husband is very big on symbolism and for him the beauty of the decorated tree Christmas morning was like the beauty brought to the world with the birth of the Savior. When everyone was a “younger one” around here, my husband and I did it alone, but as the kids got older, one-by-one they gained helper status. Out of our seven kids, we just have two left who are sent to bed while the decorating is going on. The kids absolutely love it this way. This year our family is singing at the midnight mass at our parish, so I suggested decorating the tree early. There was outraged protest, even from the kids who no longer live at home (but will be here by Christmas). They would do it all after we got back from mass! These kids really hate any change to their cherished traditions. Since we don’t start Christmas until Christmas day, we really whoop up until Epiphany. There are dishes and desserts I only make during these twelve days and that makes the celebration even more special. I really look forward to Christmas, especially now that it means my older ones visiting.
Jen says
This is what they do in Europe! Love it
Lauren says
Katherine,
Have you ever read “Around the Year with the Trapp Family”? She has the same tradition as well and describes all her traditions so beautifully.
Come to think of it, Auntie Leila, you would love this books as well if you haven’t already read it.
Leila says
Katherine, I don’t think you’re crazy but my hat is off to you. My husband really wanted to do this, but events (aforementioned births of the babies) overtook and… I just couldn’t handle it. I think you need to get the gift-buying and -making all done early on, and I am just not organized enough for it! I can’t shop, bake, DIY, and decorate all at the last minute, not to mention get kids ready for Mass.
I always assumed that the von Trapps had servants (and for Maria, the older children she inherited — rather than starting out with littles like the rest of us), and that was my excuse.
But you are showing me that it can be done! Too late for me, but perhaps for others it will work! It’s certainly lovely.
Jen says
Yes! This is the post I have been waiting for!
Elizabeth says
Such wonderful ideas and general atmosphere in this post! I tend to feel guilty for not wanting to make a fuss out of birthdays and major holidays, mostly because people make me feel guilty. We traditionally don’t do presents at Christmas (I’m from Holland), but st. Nicolas is our main gift giving occasion. I got my son one present in his shoe this year, a little locomotive (brio) to go with his wooden train set. The kid talks of/plays with nothing else since!
I remember how tense I was on my birthdays and on st. Nicolas. I was always afraid I’d be disappointed and that it would show on my face when I opened the gifts and that I couldn’t list any cool presents if my classmates asked me what my presents were.
I really think I am not the only child who suffered from this. Too many gifts can actually be a source of stress for children. If they know what to expect -one gift-, things are not only simpler for mom, but for the children as well.
Lauren says
I have never celebrated all 12 Days of Christmas but this was such a wonderful idea. Thank you for sharing and spelling out all that you do! Our Christmas day is always so hectic with visiting extended relatives and it hardly feels restful and nice. I will definitely be talking to my husband about starting a new tradition this year of celebrating all twelve days! Thank you so much as always Auntie Leila. What would I do without you?
Dianna says
Family Board games! (I can’t help myself) I’m glad you’ve come to enjoy Dominion and Ticket to Ride.
What you need (as there are many expansions) is Ticket to Ride: 1910. This has 1) larger, normal size train cards and 2) more routes. The latter is invaluable. We have been playing Ticket to Ride since it first came out and it’s still not stale. My husband’s family used to play this every night – before we were married, he came back on spring break, and they played 21 games in 10 days 🙂
http://www.amazon.com/Ticket-To-Ride-1910-Expansion/dp/B000K8FYAS
After you feel that you might want a change of pass, try one of the map expansions: they add some changes in the rules and a different map. I’m not personally fond of Europe (it’s not as hard as USA), but many like it (and it is a full set of trains again). Asia would probably best suit – the basic map is just tricky, but it’s also got an excellent team version increasing the player count to 6 in 2 teams of 3 people.
http://www.amazon.com/Ticket-Ride-Asia-Map-Collection/dp/B005OQ2ZXK/
If you are in the mood to expand Dominion instead, Intrigue would allow you to play two full games at the same time. Other good expansions are Seaside and Prosperity (the only one I’d warn you away from is Alchemy).
After those two now classic ‘gateway games’, try Pandemic! It’s a fully-co-operative game where you fight diseases attempting to infect the world. When first taught to our then-curate and now Catholic priest’s children, they named them leprosy, the black plague, Swine flu… and the chicken pox! Pandemic was as low as $20 right after Thanksgiving, so perhaps it will drop to that price again.
http://www.amazon.com/Z-Man-Games-ZMG-71100-Pandemic/dp/B00A2HD40E/
I look forward to talking these ideas over with my husband – particularly the idea of the book store run. A dangerous practice! Luckily for us, one of the best used bookstores in town is owned by a devoutly Catholic family, so they’ve excellent books.
Melissa D says
Board game recommendations — you are truly doing the Lord’s work. 😀
I mean it though — there is nothing worse than a bad board game, and the reincarnations of the games I played in the 70s & 80s are but thin, sad reflections of the old ones — kids no longer have to count money, wild dice rolls take the place of strategy (in formerly strategic games), bad print runs for money and cards, or wild graphics like “sexy Candyland.”
I found some great old games on shopgoodwill.com, if anyone wants to look! They seem to have better prices than Ebay for the vintage games.
Robin says
Oh, help. “sexy Candyland”
Tia says
LOVE Pandemic! It’s strategic, like Risk or Settlers of Cattan, but MINUS all the horrible angst and grudge matches that occur when people get in a landwar in Kamchatka or refuse to trade you wheat or whatever. The cooperative aspect totally changed my experience of strategy games.
Maureen says
Hahaha “refuse to trade you wheat” – been there! My husband’s family is a little obsessed with Settlers.
Sue says
These are wonderful suggestions!
Did it change much as they all became teenagers? I wonder…because this transition is a bit challenging for me. Where to with the traditions When they are all teens?
Thanks in advance.
Leila says
Sue, actually, the change is that the teenagers help and instigate ridiculously complicated gingerbread plans and generally make more of all of this than you thought possible. They are almost impossible to get out for a walk before the sun is ready to set (so early!!) but otherwise, they are a joy.
The trick is to start slowly and build up… NOT to try to do it all, all at once.
The family has its own development. You will see…
Kelsey says
This – this post – is a masterpiece! Mwah!
Lynn Wright says
Thank you! This list is fantastic! We tried to start something like this last year (family movie, visit to the lights at the Phipps, 12th Night party) and I ran out of ideas . . .the walk, the gingerbread houses, the reading day, the gifts on the 5th, a party on the 1st . . .all great ideas. Thank you!
Virginia says
What great ideas! Thanks! Since we were in college, my husband and I have always had a big Theophany/12th Night Party that involves a big ham, lots of sides and Christmas caroling around the piano. These days it’s in the late afternoon instead of all night and there’s less drunkenness 🙂 Our secular neighbors and friends who we invite are always surprised and delighted to come celebrate with us even after New Years!
Mrs. B. says
My husband cannot take any time off around Christmas this year, and I feel that will make it difficult to truly celebrate the 12 Days, since the family will only be together at dinner time. Can I really ask the children to wait until evening to open the rest of the presents?? Also, I fear the children will see outings and such as just another thing done with me, as usual (we homeschool).
One lovely tradition we have is to pick neighborhoods and see the Christmas lights people put up – we usually do this before Christmas, because you never know how early some people will take things down, but maybe this year we can wait until the day after Christmas, or Christmas evening itself.
We also work on a nativity-scene puzzle every Advent as a family, but we’ve become so quick that this year I’m holding it off until Christmas time! It’s lovely to do that while listening to carols.
Another tradition I’m putting off this year is baking – I’m battling pregnancy nausea and don’t feel too inspired in the kitchen! I’m thinking in a few weeks I’ll feel much better, and then we can make Christmas cookies, and eat them right away instead of storing them 😉
Leila says
Mrs. B — If your children are like mine, they will want to wait for Papa! Maybe they can open one early on, or the stockings… but wait for the rest…?
Sukie’s husband also will be working on Christmas Day… these are the sacrifices we make. God will abundantly bless you, I just know.
Melissa D says
I’m looking up recipes for no-bake cinnamon ornament dough for my son’s kindergarten class. Maybe that would help, since it’s so easy? Applesauce + cinnamon + Elmer’s glue = dough, which you then roll and bake (or just dry), then decorate.
sophie says
This was a wonderful, helpful post.
Thank you!
Anel says
Thank you, Leila! We’re not Catholic and it is High Summer here [and we all go to my parents or parents-in-law, who live by the sea and by the dam respectively – so trying to keep beach sand instead of snow out of the house, I guess..haha]. Those are very small towns, though, with only a small general dealer by the sea-house. So, while I’m not anticipating too much bored time in between all the swimming, I now have some real gems in my pocket. thanks
Jamie says
Living out here in Oregon, I just know if something happens and the Internet ceases to exist, I’m going to have to wander Massachussetes until I find you and move next door so we can be neighbors.
And or trust God to help me live the wisdom I have already garnered from your blog. I’m 47 with 5 children, 16yrs to 22yrs, all still at home. I guess I’ll be a wise grandmother one day, if they are still listening!
Anyway, thank you so much to you and your daughters for this blog. A labour of love to fellow pilgrims.
Jamie says
“Massachusetts”.
Amy H. says
Thank you! Oh my goodness it has been such a year and I needed your post today. I’m trying not to cry at you suggestions which should actually be doable this year and make some wonderful Christmas memories. God is good. Bless you for sharing.
Sarah says
This is hard to plan in since the weather is fickle, but I am considering having a “snowman kit” (old hat and scarf from thrift store, pieces of coal or buttons, carrot, corncob pipe?) on hand to be opened on any of the 12 Days that happens to be snowy. We also love the dreamy, gentle animated film The Snowman; I think it would be nice to watch during the 12 Days.
Other ideas:
2nd day–Feast of St. Stephen/Boxing Day–select a few older toys and/or clothes to be donated (if you haven’t already done this during Advent), sing “Good King Wenceslaus.”
3rd day–Feast of St. John the Evangelist–Light a candle and read the first chapter of St. John’s gospel.
4th Day–Holy Innocents–sing the Coventry Carol (“Lullay, lullay, thou little tiny child”).
5th Day–Feast of St. Thomas a Becket–watch the film Becket; this would be a good day for English Christmas traditions like mince pies and crackers (the popping kind, not the food kind), especially for America.
Sarah says
Oops, hit “post” too soon! I meant to say, especially for Americans of English ancestry.
Erin says
Our previous priest in my home parish was from Poland, and he introduced us to the St. Stephen’s Day Mass (causing confusion for all, as my husband’s family is from Hungary and their St. Stephen’s Day, which is a national holiday, falls in August). Dinner party either in the rectory or in the church basement, depending on attendance, afterwards.
Ammy says
This is a delightful post. Your mention of the game, Ticket to Ride, reminds me of another excellent game by the same company (Days of Wonder). It’s called “Mystery of the Abbey.” There are playing cards with monks from different orders (Templars, Franciscans, Benedictines) who might be Fathers, Brothers or Novices. They have great names: Novice Guy, Brother Cuthbert, Father Galbraith. One card (the murderer) goes under the board prior to the game beginning, and you spend the rest of the game trying to figure out who it is. There’s a little bell you ring that calls everybody to Mass, and players enter rooms with Latin names: Crypta, parlatorium, scriptorium. If you accuse the wrong monk, you have to go the confessional. It’s a bit complicated, so better for older kids and adults. My 11 and 13 year olds BEG to play it–and their father and I love it, too. Great present for a game day!
Jenn says
I highly recommend the Ticket To Ride expansion packs…sorry if someone already said this! The cards are much bigger. We have and love this game. 🙂 The expansion pack is not nearly as expensive as the game itself.
Lauren says
Auntie Leila,
I have been thinking about this post and reading more about it. Thank you! Could you recommend a good quality, lovely nativity? The one I have only has Mary and Joseph and Mary is holding baby Jesus. I love it but you can’t do anything with baby Jesus and there are no angels or wisemen.
Mrs. B. says
Lauren, ever tried to look on eBay? First, decide what material you prefer – wood, ceramic/porcelain, or if resin is ok as well. Of course you should also know how much you want to spend!
Then just have a look at what sellers are offering and see if there’s anything that you truly love.
Betsy M says
Have you ever looked at the Fontanini Nativity sets? They are a bit pricy but you can add to the sets over the years. They are also “almost” unbreakable. I say almost because my children managed to break an ear off from a calf but this is the only injury after 12 yrs of small children playing with them.
Lauren says
Mrs. B and Betsy,
Thank you for the suggestions. I think now I have too many choices. But, there is one set that I have found that I really love. So, hopefully now I can find it for a good price. I appreciate your help and suggestions! Merry Christmas!
Mary Eileen says
This post is great because it actually has specific suggestions about what to do! Since nobody else is! (I mean some people are – part of the comfort of this post is reading all the comments – but generally speaking not my neighbors).
Even spreading out some of our traditions over the 12 days wouldn’t quiet our Christmas Eve/Day combo that much, due to the insane schedule of extended family events. But the general concept could help calm the frustration we’ve felt in past years at the pace of our own family “Christmas morning”, with its lack of peace and barely two minutes to open the presents much less enjoy them. Perhaps we’d relax a bit about all that if we accepted that we could do some of it quietly, together – later! It might take a lot of warming up to get my husband around to this idea though.
We have a family gingerbread tradition going on 3 or 4 years (it’s gingerbread men and other cutouts, not houses, but my kids are still very wee!) = THANK YOU for giving me permission to maybe NOT do it next week!
All in all, great stuff. The trick to enjoying doing this, of course, as you have already said so well in different ways, is not to crash and burn up all the Christmas magic in the next couple weeks, but to do Advent now and Christmas when it comes!
Lyne says
Thank you so much for sharing this. It brings such a wave of relief to the season for me.
NY Mom says
Not the most exciting idea, but you could also institute “Thank-You Card Day”, for those children old enough to express gratitude for the inevitable gift from the far-away relative or other person who would appreciate an acknowledgment. Gather some cute thank you cards, or have them make their own, set up a processing area with stamps, cool pens, stickers, what-have-you, and remind your charges that expressing thanks is not only good manners but biblical. The older ones will roll their eyes but you will have made your point and taught something very important!
Kristi says
Thank you, Auntie Leila. One of my sisters lives in Wellesley and before getting married I’d visit them at Christmas — I miss the amazing NE mobile book fair! Great memories. Here in Texas we have Half-Price Books, and going to the huge mother-ship store will be a fun outing for us.
My 9 year-old son loves Tintin (and Calvin and Hobbes, and old Mickey Mouse, and the despised Garfield). I’ve suspected that you would not approve of his comic book habit, but apparently Tintin (at least) is ok? To me it seems extremely silly. He also loves meatier books and novels, so can I relax about the comic books? (He gets them from the library when my husband takes him.)
Alea says
I saw a few ticket to ride comments above, but I’ll add: we got the European edition, which also had full-size cards. And you get to learn some geography that you’re not so familiar with. Thank you for this post! I’m so glad you talk about doing what works for your own family. We would have to make some alterations with the husband working away from home several of those days, and the kids going back to school before the epiphany too. But we’d have a good full week in there to celebrate – and the youngest’s birthday is on the 31st so that takes care of one day!
Tina says
Happy Holy Days, Auntie Leila — and thank you so much for reading and commenting on my blog! I remain so grateful for the ever fresh, relevant and inspirational content on Like Mother, Like Daughter. It means so much to so many of us that you take the time to write about the little details of homemaking so many others overlook!
Christina A says
Love this post! As an inveterate procrastinator, the 12 days of Christmas are right up my alley. 😉
Did I miss your recipe for gingerbread for house-making? The one time I tried making our own, it was delicious but too floppy. A frosting recipe with the correct consistency would also be lovely. Thanks for the help!
Leila says
Hmm… I don’t think I did share it. I use the one in Joy of Cooking, I think. But I will check. I also have notes about the frosting…
Christina A says
I really need to just get my own copy of Joy of Cooking; my mom has one, but I keep hoping I’ll find an old one like hers at a thrift store. Maybe it’s time to try to buy one online?
Leila says
It’s a classic! In the older editions!
Christina A says
Hi, Leila! Just wondering if you had a chance to find your gingerbread and frosting recipes; I’d be so grateful. Thanks!
Leila says
Yes, Christina, I emailed you!
For everyone else, I will post on Instagram. The dough is from Joy of Cooking: it’s “Gingerbread Men” with the smaller amount of water. I double the ingredients, which is as much as my mixer will handle at once. One batch (single) = one house.
For the icing:
2 egg whites, 1 tsp. cream of tartar (or lemon juice), 3- 3 1/2 cups of confectioner’s sugar. Mix all together, adding milk one tablespoon at a time until it’s the right consistency for piping/spreading. This icing hardens, which is what makes it good for joining pieces of gingerbread! Keep it covered in the bowl so it doesn’t dry out before you use it.