(I don't have a place for this little white table, which had been in the den. I reorganized that corner — have I shown you? — and now I'm not sure what to do with it, so it's… in the middle of the pantry!)
Like you, I'm getting ready for Thanksgiving. My Western military families (Suki's and Rosie's) are staying out there, and Nick and his family will visit them, respectively. So the “littles” (can't help calling them that!) will be coming… looking so forward to that!
I probably won't see you here next week, so I am ducking in now despite not having anything particular to say, so we will chit-chat a bit!
I am hoping for some crafting time. My room is taking shape. I guess by now I have to resign myself to the fact that I get the crafting bug just before Thanksgiving, which is not the most helpful time (February would be better!).
Last week we visited Nick and his family in Virginia, and I made Sunday dinner for these lads! (Hence the missed post, sorry!)
What did I make? An old-fashioned American menu my mother pulled out one day long after I was grown up, but which has made its way into the rotation in the cold months: Meatloaf, baked potatoes, peas, and applesauce. Such simple fare was what she grew up with in upstate New York.
Last week I made a sort of Waldorf Salad for the adults in place of applesauce, but was happy to know that the kids really enjoyed it, inhaling the baked potatoes especially.
I always think it's so amusing when the fancy cooking sites get around to this sturdy side dish, comparing methods and so on. To me, it's all about choosing the right potato (Russets all the way for their dry, fluffy interior and crisp skin when baked) and that is it!
It's the one food that's so simple, not only do you not need a recipe, you don't even need a baking tray! You can put them right on the oven rack! Just remember two things: bake thoroughly (for 45 minutes to an hour depending on size, at 375 or whatever your oven is on for whatever else is in there) and prick with a fork beforehand! Serve with butter, salt, and sour cream.
When I last posted, I was remembering how November is traditionally a time to contemplate death, our own and those of our loved ones. I posted a picture of the site of my mother's grave, and since then, the headstone has finally been placed!
This is the same angle as that photo, so you can see the statue of the Blessed Mother that made me sure this was where I wanted her to be laid to rest (it's the white granite stone in the foreground):
This is the front:
There is room on the other side for Phil and me if we are still here (both of us can go in the same spot, we just have to remember that whoever goes first has to be buried deeper!).
It took me forever to choose the design. If you know what you want, leave a note and visual for whoever is left to deal with it!
It's not easy! The lady at the monument place suggested that I walk around the cemetery and take pictures of what I liked, and that was good advice. I found that in the older sections the stones are so beautiful, with recurring elements (like those stylized roses) that I realized I wanted and that made it feel more traditional.
Besides the statue in this section, another factor that decided me on this particular place in the rather large cemetery is the proximity of many in our community who have passed before, in the 20+ years we have lived here, including one of my mother's dear friends and several children.
I went from having no idea how to choose a plot to feeling that “this is the neighborhood”! I think that helps me reconcile myself both to death and to the fact that we are not near family, nor are we living where we grew up.
Anyway, now it is done.
Keep in mind that The Summa Domestica is now available in paperback! More affordable! Easier to hold maybe?
bits & pieces
- Don't miss my latest podcast, “Is Chastity a Ministry?”You can open in your favorite podcast app.
- In the “train your eye” department of design (also “cleanse your consumer/Instagram-influencer palate”!): Bible of British Taste (summed up as “they don't give a damn” and that is sometimes what we need to hear!).
- “In a scientistic-technocratic regime, the naked individual—reduced to “bare biological life,” cut off from other people and from anything transcendent—becomes completely dependent on society. The human person, reduced to a free-floating, untethered, and uprooted social atom, is more readily manipulated.” A longer read: Technocracy and Totalitarianism... that will hopefully restore our determination to devote ourselves to what is small and hidden, to home and solving the little problems we find there, while celebrating the joys.
- A short video showing one particularly beautiful vestment from a church that saved many that were being discarded.
from the archives
- We live in an age that is oriented towards adults, not children. This means that the world around us often has a snarky and even cynical attitude towards the past, tradition, and things that ought to be holy, as if we can make worthy things on our own (or as if we never make mistakes!). But if we want our children to keep their natural wonder towards the beautiful, true, and good, we have to fight to keep our own innocence and not be disposed to laugh at or dismiss simple and holy things just because we can. To teach reverence we must be reverent.
- A post that rounds up my Advent posts! Which is right around the corner, so this is my alert for you to get your candles and calendar and be ready!
liturgical living
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My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available now from Sophia Press! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My new podcast can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
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KC says
Silly, I know, but I had a surprisingly strong reaction to seeing a photo of you in a more modern looking house/kitchen! I had to think twice about who I was looking at 🙂
The headstone is truly beautiful.
Completely unrelated to anything here but it seems like a point you would appreciate and make much better than I can: Why do the same people who say gender doesn’t matter and is fluid and all of that at the same time turn gender-reveal parties into a family/friend major celebration? Shouldn’t these people, to be consistent, never be finding out the sex of their child anyway since it’s just a construct or something like that? Have you see anyone pointing this out?
lisainmaine says
Wow. That is an excellent point about the gender reveal parties that I hadn’t though of.
Leila says
Yes, very good point.
Since I can remember “the bad old 60s” when everyone was misogynist and women were barely human, I will say that there were fewer toys in general and much, much less “gendering” than now. Yes, boys got guns and trucks and girls got dolls and dress-ups, but anyone who has observed children knows that they enjoy those things, respectively. The main thing is that things weren’t color coded pink and blue the way they universally are now, and dolls were just dolls, not pouty sex objects (with the exception of barbies, which were weird, we thought, and which my friends and I used as models to make clothes for when we did play with them).
Girls’ clothes were more practical and not universally made of tacky, shiny, glittery, too-short material. Woe to the mom who wants to find her older girl (over 6x size) a dress that is flattering, girlish (not pubescent), modest, and made of something real.
In short, we’re not supposed to think gender is a thing, but we have put the two sexes into boxes like never before.
Margaret says
I tend to want craft/ sew at the most in inconvenient times…like before a big family event, leaving for vacation, etc. I suppose it’s me subconsciously wanting a respite from things I must do for whatever is looming.
Lisa G. says
Oh, your pantry looks so beautiful!!
Carolyn says
The headstone is so beautiful! I love it! My husband and I have been bringing our young children to the cemetery every November for a few years now. We live in a small city in the Midwest and he grew up here, so all the gravestones we visit are from his side of the family. Though I feel a little pang at the thought of being buried far away from my home town, the reality is that there are more of his family’s generations here, and each year I feel better and better about being laid to rest here. As we walk around we see a lot of family names of friends and local businesses. Some of the Catholic headstones are truly stunning—there are more than a couple family headstones that incorporate large statues of saints. I always find myself hoping that more people will come to enjoy the beauty that others have generously placed there.
Dixie says
I took a school group to a cemetery in our town earlier this year to see a Civil War memorial there. Walking around, we recognized so many 19th-century names on headstones because there are still roads and businesses bearing those family names in our town today! It was so interesting and, I think, really helped the kids feel connected to our local history.
Mrs. Bee says
Happy Thanksgiving, Auntie Leila! And readers, too 🙂 If anyone is still looking for pie inspiration, I will recommend Southern Living’s Brown Butter Sweet Potato Pie: https://www.southernliving.com/recipes/brown-butter-sweet-potato-pie – it is truly delicious! I do think they forgot to include more spices, so I add 2 teaspoons of Trader Joe’s pumpkin pie spice mix to the batter. I also don’t find it necessary to pre-bake my crusts and I don’t mind some sweet potato bits, so I don’t go crazy trying to make them super smooth.
Another favorite pie in our house is a bourbon chocolate pecan pie made with honey and maple syrup instead of corn syrup – I found it here: https://livelytable.com/chocolate-bourbon-pecan-pie/ – a tiny slice goes a long way!
I miss the cemeteries of my youth, where my father used to tell me the stories of so many of the dead. We would often go together, and throughout the year, not just in November. Now I never go to a cemetery because it feels very awkward not knowing anyone, not being familiar with any names. When we go in November, it feels meaningless to me – although I’m sure all those souls are grateful for the prayers… I like to say an Eternal Rest in my head whenever we pass by a cemetery – we have one very near our house – but I don’t desire a real visit.
My mother likes to remember St. Monica’s attitude, that in the end it does not matter where one is buried – but I guess it does make a difference to the living, who get their sense of who they are also by understanding and embracing their link with past generations, and it’s harder to get that in the absence of a local cemetery full of familiar names and stories. So this is another bit of experience that I had, but have not been able to give to my own children – we keep the dead in mind through stories, but it’s a lot more abstract to them I’m sure…
So thank you for the article about Del Noce, though it wasn’t cheerful reading! At least when one knows what he’s facing… he just knows! I hope to find the time to listen to your podcast this weekend, I’d love to hear your thoughts. And to end with a smile, your cheery sewing room pictures reminded me of Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream Home, when Myrna Loy dreams of a little sewing room where she can retire to craft (and have a good cry, too!), but ends up designing a room in the shape of a square doughnut (as their architect calls it) with the chimney smack in the middle! Your room, on the contrary, is quite sensible and looks so warm and cozy!
Katie says
Your “To teach reverence” link seems to be wrong (it takes me to a Facebook post).
Leila says
Sorry, fixed it!
Mrs. T says
This blog, your post, the links…a beacon in the wilderness. Thank you.
Anna says
Dear Auntie Leila, your blog is such a gift! It’s interesting how enjoyable reading the comments on here is compared to everywhere else online. You are a treasure of common sense and all your readers seem to be just as grounded in reality. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Whenever I am having a difficult day and feeling lonely in the normal endeavors of family life it is comforting to be able to come here and receive a healthy dose of your wit and humor. It is shocking how uncommon everything normal has become.
Leila says
I’m glad you’re here!