Pounding away on the book. Do you have a post you love and think should definitely be included? Let me know — I think I have all of them (well, all the important ones) but after more than 10 years, I worry that I've forgotten something! Which one got you to come and read here? Which one do you share with your friend? It would help me to know!
bits & pieces
- An Irish priest made short films recording various cultural phenomena and they are incredible artifacts of the now-distant past (my childhood, not that I lived in his milieu at all! Man, that happened fast). In this one, he explores a town with a staggering number of vocations to the religious life. Even if you feel that there is a certain gloss (or even sentimentality) to the presentation, it's worth thinking about the elements he uncovers that contribute to the flourishing: A good priest, families who live simply and pray devotedly, nuns who live cheerfully, a certain beauty in what we would probably feel is poverty.
- Maybe someone you care about just won't read Leila Miller's Primal Loss book (affiliate link), on the devastation of divorce on children, but would listen to her talk on the subject.
- Another video (but you can just listen) from 2018 — timely now that race issues are to the fore: Thomas Sowell speaks about his book Discrimination and Disparities, making important distinctions that we just have to understand if we are going to heal.
- A must-read: The Health-First Heresy, by Douglas Farrow.
- Also compelling, in a different way: A Pandemic Observed, by a mother grieving for her husband and baby.
- I was looking for something else, and came across this essay, written by my husband quite a while ago, on the occasion of the editor of First Things Magazine, Jody Bottum, supporting gay marriage. I want to share it here because I think it's good: To defend marriage, the truth is enchanting enough
from the archives
liturgical year
The Queenship of Mary (Novus Ordo); Immaculate Heart of Mary (Traditional)
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Donna L. says
Hello Auntie Leila~
My favorite post of all time, and the one I share, is the one titled, “How to get up on time-Not for morning people”. I laughed so hard when I read the line, “If you live for jumping out of bed and are an amazing morning person, I love you, please go away.”–and even now, it makes me chuckle. I truly appreciated the step-by-step process of how to take a shower, too. These two got me on track after a particularly difficult pregnancy and birth, and I refer to them still to reaffirm my resolve to look fresh and clean for my family!
Love you so much and am really looking forward to your book! You can do it! Keep on writing!
May God richly bless you and yours~
Ruthie says
Sibling Rivalry, and the one about raising daughters!
Sara says
The Moral Life of the Child series hooked me. Also, all of your wise commentary on raising (and feeding) teenage boys. And the post in which you offer the checklist to diagnose the problem of Whining Whiners. Sheer brilliance!!!
Rose says
10 Survival Tactics for Rescuing a Bad Day. I printed that post and kept it in the bedside table for when a pep talk was in order.
Emily says
Yes, I LOVE this one! And the one about competence vs. perfection!
Marie says
I agree with all of the other comments, but the post that is the most eternal, the post that could affect the salvation of souls, is the post about being open to whatever children God sends your way. Had it not been for me reading that post, and then reading it to my husband, we would not have the youngest two of our precious children. So thank you, and please include that one!
Hannah Q says
“Dear Aristotle, he’s so clever” is one of my favorites. One of the many things I love about your writing is the detailed practical examples, but I love that post for the big-picture theory behind it all!
Vera says
YES I second that post
Mrs. Bee says
Oh no, I had forgotten Jody Bottum wrote that piece, and now you’ve reminded me :-((
Jamie says
I agree with Competence not Perfection. I also like one you entitled called Housewifely Your posts on dealing with teen years, ideas for keeping teens busy in a healthy way (I know you talked about bonfires)..not carrying the sand toys for your kids! 😉 Also your post on taking care of sick kids – I think of it wheneve we have the stomach flu.
Dixie says
“Affirmation in the Thick of Things.” Plus everything else. But the practical, encouraging posts are my favorite, to a greater degree than the guided-reading-type posts.
Dixie says
I’m kind of excited about reading these comments and finding interesting posts to go and read!
Jennifer says
Ditto!
fillingthequiver says
I have read and re-read your teen posts, and told others about them. Your old fashioned homeschool binder has been useful to help friends, I point a lot of people to your order and wonder posts. But there is so much. And it’s been so useful to be forced to wait on you to write it, to let it sink in. I hope that people will purchase your book and read it slow. And I hope you don’t stop writing. Here. Often.
Vera says
I love all your posts about marriage and destruction proofing your marriage. I also love your posts about discipline. I’m SO excited for your book! I’ve been trying to read your entire blog… But it is difficult.
Jennifer says
I hope your blog is around forever. I sent How to take a Shower to do many friends! But your whole blog is helpful.
I am still struggling as a melancholic phlegmatic to be an alpha leader. I feel I am getting plowed over many days. But i appreciate reading all your advice!
Alesha says
The New Years resolutions post! I keep coming back to your idea about how if you don’t have your laundry and meals under control, nothing else you set out to do matters or will be accomplished. Because of you, I started cooking dinner every day right after our second baby was born! What my poor husband ate for dinner after work those previous years, I don’t know!
I forget which post it is but I like how you talk about dealing with little children and how sometimes they need to be babied when they’re tired and fussy, and also how when we wipe their dirty little faces we find ourselves responding more lovingly to them.
Alesha says
I also hope you include a book list summarizing all your literature recommendations for various ages.
Vera says
YES a booklist is the best idea ever. I come to your blog ALL THE TIME before I buy a book for my kiddos
Katie says
I am *eagerly* awaiting your book, especially in this season of being home A LOT with 3 girls 5 and under. Our oldest is really giving us a run for our money. What are we supposed to DO all day? Theoretically I know but in practice sometimes the days feel so very long. I love your practical advice. Any tips for a very spirited 5 year old?!
Anamaria says
For my very spirited 3 girls, now 6 1/2, 4 1/2, and 2 (I also have an 11 month old boy) things I’ve found helpful:
1. Chores we do together- especially big girl chores like cutting, preparing food, vacuuming, sweeping
2. Outside outside outside. Park, bikes, swimming, running laps around the park, playing in the dirt, etc
3. Reading together. My oldest is a great reader but she still loves to cuddle up and have me read to her
4. Crafts. I’m not crafty so craft kits are our number 1 gift request.
5. Teaching her things- reading, math, etc- the end of last summer she was particularly whiny and then we started school and she really perked up. (I know, lots of homeschoolers don’t teach reading until later but both my older two learned to read by slow Montessori method and we all enjoyed it)
6. Quiet time during naps for any non-mappers. My 4 year old naps 1/2-2/3 of the time so she gets some quiet time days and my oldest does quiet time every day.
Katie says
Thanks so much! I just saw this. All great ideas.
Catherine says
Please include some April Fool’s posts. I love all the posts I’ve read (especially the ones about teens), but those April Fool’s jokes remind us all to keep a sense of humor. 🙂
Nadege Armour says
I love, love your post on “I feel guilty about not working” – truly a gem. Thanks for ALL you do and CANNOT wait to buy the book. Such a well of wisdom you are.
Whitney says
There’s a post where you talk about children needing to obey first and ask questions later. You mentioned about ma and pa and a bear. I think about that a lot. I obviously don’t want to raise my son to blindly obey, but the picture painted with your words really hit home that thinking critically is something that can only come in a later stage of development. Obeying your parents is an early stage in the process of getting there.
Unrelated: I was trying to get some activity going in my local st Gregory pocket and then the pandemic hit. There have been no events for a long time.before this, so it would be hard to coax those initial people out anyway, but with the pandemic it seems pretty impossible. I thought of making a zoom “get to know you” event. On one hand, maybe meeting on camera first might make people feel more comfortable to come out in person. On the other, the whole point is for it to be a real life group and I worry that if I make a virtual event,i will set a bad tone. Do you have suggestions?
Leila says
Yes, that post is definitely in there!
As to the Pocket — I suggest meeting at a park! People are desperate to get out and I’ve noticed that they are SO HAPPY when they do. Now’s the time. It’s also good to know if anyone needs a meal or a helping hand with their kids. So many places don’t let you bring all your kids, and maybe a mom really needs someone to hang out at the playground with hers while she gets a necessary errand done.
If people really want to meet on zoom, it probably can’t hurt, but I think most are pretty zoomed out.
Vera says
All our playgrounds are closed ☹️ I commiserate with the mom above of 3 under 5 and seeking community
Logan says
I’m curious, who doesn’t let you bring your kids?
Leila M Lawler says
Some doctors’ offices she means, I think.
Victoria says
I’m also trying to get a group started (a book group). I live in MD and people here are very on edge about the virus, and some don’t want to meet face-to-face at all–but I’m still going to try for in-person on the patio of a coffee shop and see who shows up. Video calls are not the same experience as in-person. They lack the chemistry of a personal interaction and come loaded with awkward lags and glitches.
Things are also very awkward here because we are supposed to wear masks even at parks if we go out with other families, but, blessedly, we have a large yard and we have invited a lot of people to our home to hang out. For some in our circle, it was the first time in months that their children had played with children outside of their family or been somewhere without a mask on.
Mary Keane says
Victoria! Hi! I too am so over Zoom meetings. We are supposed to wear masks here too but a lot of people in our circle simply don’t, including at Mass. In parks it’s about half and half. Our orders explicitly stated that there would not be any enforcement so… if this is civil disobedience it’s pretty easy. The only time I wear a mask is for shopping at stores that require it. That makes me really sad, and angry, that children haven’t been playing with other children for months. Good for you for having play dates. We are human beings with human needs still!
Mandy says
Hi, Whitney! We’ve been inviting people to things for months — inside our home, on the patio, in the pool, at the park (or, when playgrounds were closed, we just found outdoor open space like a picnic in a retention basin). Some people come without reservation (and are so NORMAL! And HAPPY!) Others aren’t comfortable yet and decline. We take reasonable precautions and practice good hygiene, but … yeah … life must be lived! So maybe just go for it, and if only one other mom shows up, well, that’s better than before! Good luck!
Mandy says
One more thing I thought of: Perhaps you could have a drive-in meeting? Some gals and I did that in our big, empty church parking lot one evening. We circled up the SUVs and minivans, and everyone opened her lift gate and sat in the back (or brought a lawn chair). Everyone brought her own dinner and beverage. Not ideal for including the kids (though I suppose they could zip around on scooters and trikes), but if you’re having a preliminary getting-organized/getting-to-know-you meet up, perhaps it could straddle the line between in-person and not freaking out the people who take coronavirus guidelines very seriously? Again, good luck to you! Finding community is challenging anytime, and the devil has certainly made it harder with this current attempt to do away with the Imago Dei in our fellow human beings.
Sarah says
Posts-summer in the homeschool, any of your posts that involve beautifying your kitchen, cleaning your home posts, how to laundry posts, discipline posts, how to properly execute thanksgiving, I am rambling but I have learned and been so inspired by so many of your Posts that tell how to be a house wife and so many good thoughts shared on philosophy behind what we do in our homes, book recommendations, etc, etc. been reading your blog for a long time and revisit it often.
Teresa says
The 7/21/15 post about regretting the past was one that touched me deeply. So beautifully written and so very very important. For sure one of my favorite of so many great posts.
Kerry says
I think there was a post that included brushing your kid’s hair or getting their hair out of their face “so you like them better”. That was SO awesome! I have totally thought of that when I’m like “can I help you w your hair pleasssse!”
Michelle says
I’m not sure what post it’s from, but daily I like to remind myself that I merit two towels. And genuinely, the posts about acting and not reacting have been instrumental in turning things around at my house.
Sara says
I really like the ‘clean as you go’ post. Transformative for the order of our kitchen! And the post where you say assume the baby needs to nurse. Thank you so much for all your writing.
Victoria says
There are so many posts here that have enriched my life and changed me as a mother, but the ones I probably share the most with friends are the one about caring for sick children, the reasonably clean home, and “What can children do?” about the approximate ages at which kids can do what chores.
I think that what many of us are lacking as eager homemakers is a living picture and example of what a good wife and mother does in her home. What is her spirit like? What concrete things does she do to demonstrate love to the people in her home? I feel blessed to have seen some glimpses of good mothering in my life, and I try to extrapolate from that, but you (as well as some other bloggers and the mothers from good literature) have fleshed out my ideas about who I want to be–and once we can see what it is we want to be, then we can begin our journey to that place.
Laura Austin says
I’m so thankful you are writing a book, Auntie Leila! Whining Whiners and how to deal with them is one of my favorite posts of yours. The title alone will cross my mind and get me back on track.
Ann says
Your posts about Dating Rules for Teens and A Family-Friendly Guide to Sex Education have been wonderful beacons for me in this world of darkness, especially as a homeschooling mother of teenagers. I also enjoyed reading 5 Things Worse than Debt; it struck a chord and is one I have revisited for encouragement. Looking forward to reading your book!
Dixie says
Oh, the debt one is really good!
Kim F. says
So many gems, Auntie Leila, it’s hard to choose! I think the post that has stuck with me the most over the years is the Reasonably Clean House one. I used to be a deep clean the house every. single. week kind of gal. Then I had 6 kids!!! Well, not all at once, but you know what I mean. Yes, I still do a deep cleaning twice a year but now I realize perfection in the house cleaning dept. is not my goal. Thank you for helping me “let go” of some of my type A personality traits. How freeing!!! 🙂
Kim F. says
Oh, and I definitely love the Ma and the bear story! We are constantly saying, “you would have been eaten by a bear” to the children. Still working on that obedience thing.
Adele says
Is all the posts a viable request? I have a giant binder full of many many printed posts. The “what we are doing in here” and all the book clubs are in there as is dinner with the barbarians. I was so blessed to have a great housekeeping and mothering example in my mother but it is so helpful to have it pointed out why we do things a certain way. We have one child downstairs to help with dishes so we can talk…we have massive quantities of stashed food so we can feed the entire marching band (yes my mom did this) when they show up after school. Thank you so much for your many years of guidance. I told my husband I’ll consider getting rid of the binder if we get the book…then we’ll have room for more books.
Do you have any suggestions for moving out of pandemic mode? So many people here are still very frightened. We are still somewhat confined (although not like many places) by law. We have a weekly park date which is publicized but it feels like so little. Our small group of young families go about our business as normally as possible but is there something else we could do? I worry what will happen to so many as winter comes.
Elizabeth says
I remember a friend recommended this blog to me, I think it was this post: Competence vs perfectionism. Though I also remember her talking about the shower post and I think the caring for sick kids post. She said this is one of the best blogs for laying out how to do things.
I think the top ones I quote/recommend to others are:
Competence vs perfectionism
Self-control and where to get it
Act don’t react
Affirmation in the thick of things
I read the entire Reasonably Clean House Series. I referenced the nursing the baby posts when I was first expecting. Lately I’ve been pouring over the Library Project looking for all the picture book recommendations. Many others but other than the reasonably clean house series I’ve never read your blog in an orderly fashion, I generally just search for terms and look through the posts that come up as relevant, and click on related ones in the post, too. The search function is nice for finding stuff on a specific subject or that one post I can’t remember but talked about such and such… But I am so looking forward to a book, too!
Lisa says
I often think of and direct friends to your Reasonably Clean post(s). So many good ones to choose from though! I so appreciate your no-nonsense, practical, wise thoughts and approaches to mothering, homeschooling, homekeeping, and life. Thank you for the time you take to share these things with us! Also, I have long wished I could meet you one day!
Jennifer says
Also is there a way to read the posts in chronological order?
Leila says
Jennifer, you can go the drop-down menu that says “blog archive” and choose the earliest date. Then work your way up — BUT realize that only so many posts fit on one page, so if there were more that month than fit, the earliest ones are accessed by scrolling down and clicking on “previous” or whatever it says… then go back to read the later ones for that month, then continue with the other months.
This is why I’m asking about posts — it’s tricky to be sure you’ve seen them all!
Jo says
I won’t read Leila Miller’s book. ….and I read everything ! It would just be too painful….
…..and I am 58. Sigh.
But I am looking forward to your book!
Leila says
Jo, I know what you mean! I didn’t want to contribute to it and I didn’t want to read it. I only did because she asked me to blurb it. But I will tell you that I learned a lot about myself and the iron entered my soul, as they say, about really opposing divorce.
Even if you don’t read it, ask your husband to read it maybe…
Jo says
I just listened to Leila’s talk via your link . I’ve been avoiding the talk and her book. 😉.
I have been happily married for 35 years but my own parents divorced when I was 5 in the 1960s. My husband , my marriage ,is the result of my prayers as a teen .. please Lord no divorce . He answered me. I am forever indebted to God and Mary. I will do anything for them.
I digress . The talk was powerful, raw and brutally honest . Instead of anger tonight , I will pray for my beautiful and deeply wounded parents . For me and for them .
Thank you Leila. Finish that book!
Jo
Laura S. says
“Affirmation in the Thick of Things,” Will Homeschooling Make Me Lose My Mind?” and “5 Things That Are Worse Than Being in Debt” (my husband agrees with the latter) are three favorites off the top of my head! But really, all of them! 🙂
Jennifer says
The post about preparing for Thanksgiving (“this has been documented by thousands of women, or would have been if they could have found a pencil” – how I love that line!), raising the 13 year old boy, Dinner with the Barbarians. Don’t seek affirmation from your kids.
Sue W says
Whew – so many good posts, hard to choose…
The most useful post to me was the one about nursing – advice to always assume that your baby needs to nurse, instead of trying to figure out all the OTHER reasons your baby might be crying
The “Order and Wonder” post about homeschooling
The Reasonably Clean house series
I do so wish that you had an “archive table of contents” type page – just a long list of the post titles in order, by year, so I could work my way through the list.
Leila says
I do too (list of post titles) — it’s not possible with this WordPress blog 🙁
Mandy says
Hopefully most of your blog is in the book, because my bookmarks are 99.2% LMLD posts that I re-read constantly. This is, always and forever, my favorite website of all time.
That said, I did come across this oldie going down a rabbit hole today, and it is just so good and instructive:
http://likemotherlikedaughter.org/2009/06/one-method-of-so-called-discipline-that/
Jamie says
What got me hooked was your Reasonably Clean house series, but the specific post was the one where you discussed the importance of starting with the master bedroom and how important it is to not allow it to become a dumping ground. Just the way that you talk about that room and it’s importance to the family, really inspired me. I also love your post about 13 year old boys…the need for food and sleep, a dog to cuddle if there are no baby siblings, and then meaningful work, more time with Dad…stuff like that. Our world has changed so very much since you started this blog…
Jennifer says
Ask auntie leila “I don’t want to be yelling screaming mom”. I actually copied down the first paragraph about praying to our angels. Also the UTI one was practically helpful!
Leila says
Do you think the book should have that UTI post in the appendix? In some ways it really doesn’t fit, but…
Jennifer says
I suppose it’s a rather specific, narrow topic. But if you have an area with other advice like that, put it in! Otherwise I just keep passing it along to other moms and looking at it again myself on your blog 🙂 Just never take down your blog, okay?
Mary says
I also like your post about cooking for the family while you have morning sickness…. maybe it would be good to have an appendix with those sorts of topics?
Gina says
Keep UTI’s in the book!!!! It changed my life. NO ONE is writing about this. I have suffered for 20 years and more. That topic could be under health- like how to dress children for winter. I am so grateful for that UTI post, and some other mother will be, too.
Nikolia says
Yes! I totally agree with this! The UTI post, cooking simply when pregnant, how to take care of sick kids, dressing kids warmly (I copied everything down and we went out and bought our kids actual winter clothes…I honestly didn’t know kids needed thick socks and long underwear to play outside…in winter in Chicago! What???), how to stay warm inside in the winter. That could be a great appendix!
Diana Johnston says
Oh, my goodness, those two COVID articles were so incredibly good. Thank you.
As to your articles – well, my notebooks are full of print-offs. Please include them all. 🙂 Here are a few that come to mind…
– The one with Laura and Ma and the bear.
– Your cleaning articles.
– Caring for a sick child.
– The 13yo boy article.
– Being open to children.
– The value and necessity of homemakers.
– How to do Thanksgiving.
– And all the rest.
Thank you; I am so excited about your new book!
jenny says
The one about how to dress children for winter (despite being a Coloradan I was unprepared for the necessity of layers) and the one about “All the things that are worse than being in debt”. much love for all the wisdom and levity you bring to the internet and the world.
sibyl says
My problem is the same as others mentioned above: there have been so many posts. The Things Worse than Debt was really important for me, and the 13-yr-old boy and 11-yr-old girl posts too. I loved the house entries: seeing your home and how you organized it. Oh, and I really enjoyed the “pretty over the kitchen sink” series. And of course, all the recipes. Egyptian Lasagne is on the menu regularly. And the bread too, but I cannot eat wheat anymore, and that’s taken the wind out of my sails a bit. Really, your blog has been part of my life and thinking for a long time. Thanks.
Victoria says
Taking wheat out does take the wind out of one’s sails. Ask me how I know. Can you tolerate einkorn? Some people w/wheat intolerance can and some can’t.
BridgetAnn says
I really appreciate your collective encouragement/cheerleading in regard to living one income, “be it ever so little.” (From the “I feel guilty not working” post.) and being thrifty- “Instead of comparing yourself with rich people, compare yourself with genuinely poor people.” (From the “Getting used to being thrifty” post.)
I know what is important intellectually and I enjoy homemaking and thrifting and even have good examples of it within my friends and family. But the devil “is always prowling” and it is easy to second guess good decisions and we all need reminders and friends who can keep us joyful on the way!
Bley says
My favorite posts are “Affirmation in the thick of things” and “Six to Eleven Year Olds don’t need so much patience” :).
Melissa Sebestyen says
It’s difficult to pick just a few posts; I still get lost on the blog, retreading posts I’ve read many times before.
Let’s see, the post on Laura and the bear, the one on having the kids do chores but it being okay to go in after them to make it look pretty, and the one about it being a natural part of being a homemaker to want to make things to make the house look pretty. Any post that could fall under the heading of good enough is good enough. The post on how to celebrate the Christmas season Oh, and the post on how to cure salmon!
Candice says
I agree with everyone above, and I’ll add;
The wedding posts. I felt the gist was how to host a celebration rather than show off, and there’s a great part about wedding gifts too. Gifts that give back to the giver with hospitality. (This is what I’m remembering from years ago!).
How to dress your kids for winter. I moved from the tropics to opposite Antarctica – I needed help. My kids always wear wool singlets now, and the key; keeping that layer on from sleep time to getting dressed in the morning. No topic is too menial to write about! I’ll always remember your comment about babies with cold looking skin.
Oh, which reminds me of one of the best – hide the out of season clothes. I met up with a friend a few days ago, it’s freezing winter here in Australia, and her daughter was wearing a tee shirt and short shorts ‘because she wanted to’. My kids might have wanted to as well, but too bad for them, there are only long pants etc to choose from 🙂
Just last night my daughter, because she had scraped her knee, had a LMLD instructional bird bath (basin bath) so the cut wouldn’t sting in the shower. Again, we need instruction in the simplest things.
How to hostess; meet people at the door, don’t hide in the kitchen. Introduce people with a given topic – this one is gold and I use it all the time.
Thank you for all your posts.
I’ve been reading since before I was married, so for over a decade, and your wisdom has changed the path of my life!
RMondragon says
The Reasonably Clean House Series… As someone who would rather read , craft, draw anything but clean house I found your posts very helpful! I always come back to these posts when I start to wander to old habits. Your home reminds me of a book I read , does your home feel peaceful? You have helped me make mine feel peaceful And the book recommendations for cleaning were great! So much good advice that you don’t hear anymore and can’t find in modern blogs. This is what every mom and wife needs to know to make a HOME for her family!
Katie says
Definitely the one (or more) where you note that you have to have a handle on dinner and laundry to be able to do anything else… <3
Claire says
Well, we’ve been moving . . . but all the boxes are out of the living areas and I have simmered down enough to think.
So many suggestions have me saying “oh yeah, that was a great one!” So many! Definitely the Reasonably Clean House series. Do you remember the one where you talked about your mother hiring a cleaning service for you for a bit back in the day, and what they actually did? I remember thinking “okay, so I don’t have to do ALL the things ALL the time!” I really didn’t know!
Also the wedding ones; required reading for my daughters when they got married. I think it helped us all focus on the joy of the occasion rather than the display.
Oh and the kitchen ones are golden too . . . I’m embarrassed to say this. But the “make ahead” concept (like having some ingredients browned/cleaned/chopped and ready to go in the freezer) was new to me, and was revolutionary. The idea of having a pretty display on the windowsill by the sink inspired my rotating prayer card/postcard collection. And Egyptian Lasagna, mmmm.
And “Help for When You Regret the Past.” A must.
Can’t wait for the book!!
Jennifer says
oh! The things you clean with must be cleaner than the things you clean!
Jessica Steed says
First of all, I have to echo what so many others have said. THANK YOU for this blog. It’s the only blog or website I check faithfully. I have found SO MUCH wisdom (and humor!) on this blog and I thank you! One of my favorites, because I’m going through it currently so it’s top of the mind, is the one about 12 year old girls. I mean, really. Just so helpful!
rh says
One I haven’t seen mentioned yet is the post about building a culture with furniture. We kept moving a lot, and living in furnished places and having more kids, and then moving again to larger empty places and not having enough furniture. And being thrifty I wanted to hold out until we stopped moving (still at least one more to go – praying to St. Joseph for a semi-final place after 15 years of marriage). But that post made me realize we needed enough seats and lamps for everyone in the family – and guests! and so I reformed. My husband was so happy when I suggested we get a second couch – he had one in the house days later.
It was wonderful both for our family culture and our hospitality. It sounds so dumb in retrospect, but it really made the whole ‘home-making’ thing click for me in a concrete way. It’s not just the chores and daily tasks, but the physical space itself, and it really does take a lot of thought and energy to create a home that is beautiful and fitting for a particular family.
Also, any post where you mention the second decade of marriage and parenting. No one else talks about this! It was the first time someone helped me understand my family of origin – we were so close when I was little, but I think we had some second decade unravelling. It has been profoundly useful in my own marriage and parenting, as well, to have some sense of how things change and develop.