During this time of staying home, sheltering in place, and staying put, I'm happy to offer our readers a new service!
Over the years, I can't tell you how many of you sweet readers have said to me, “I just wish you could be in my home, follow me around, and tell me what to do!” Yes, there's Ask Auntie Leila, but the cry has gone up for more, much more, than an email from me.
Well, good news! We can make this happen! All you need is to install this webcam (affiliate link) in the major areas of your home: Kitchen, bedrooms, living room, laundry room — really, you can choose, but to get the best benefit from our time together, the more rooms the better.
For a slight upcharge, you can wear this bodycam and I can follow you everywhere and be better able to tell you exactly what to do with your life!
I am offering to a select group of lucky readers the fabulous opportunity to have moi, Auntie Leila, follow you, virtually, all around your home! I will be able to see everything that you see and tell you just what to do!
This service will enable me to:
- “be there” early in the morning to help you get up and take a shower!
- see how you prepare your meals, do your laundry, and clean your house! We can bake bread “together” — I can look over your shoulder and critique your technique! I can sit at your dinner table with you (virtually!) and help you have meaningful conversations with your family!
- monitor you and your family in your devotions! Ever wonder exactly how to set up your Little Oratory and pray together as a family? Good news! I can be there (virtually!) and do it with you so that you do it right.
- look over your kids' school work to be sure they are excelling! I'm happy to take over “principal” duties for the time we are together!
- troubleshoot vacuum cleaner problems and identify stains! The Reasonably Clean House was never so doable!
Never make a mistake again disciplining your children, calculating unit prices, or separating your lights from your darks — Auntie Leila will be there to tell you what to do.
Kids having trouble with math? Auntie Leila will give you confidential, discreet, real time advice on straightening them out.
And all in complete conformity with local and federal COVID19 quarantining guidelines!*
*this service is CDC and FDA compliant — no endorsement by these agencies is implied
There are two plans**:
- I can follow you all the time, checking in at random points for up to an hour a day forever — just send $50,000 to my account (email for details). I call this the “Lifetime Golden LMLD Plan.”
- Or sign up by the week of intensive Auntie time — just send $5,000 per week and we'll set up a 24/7 monitoring session that will get you up and independent in no time. I call this the “Kick in the Pants Plan.”
- The upcharge for the bodycam service (“I've Got You Covered Add-On”) is a flat $15,000 fee.
Obviously I can provide this service only for a lucky, special few — so sign up NOW! Don't delay! From what I can tell in my travels, this offer is going to go fast! This offer will be limited and once spots are gone, they're gone!
**I understand — of course! I'm Auntie Leila! I totally get poverty! — that you might not be able to afford this amazing deal on one income and a possible total shutdown of your visible means of support.
- Therefore, we are offering “The Budget Plan” — you won't get me streamed directly into your home, but you will get Rosie, Sukie, Deirdre, or Bridget, depending on your resources. This plan includes four days, 8 hours per day, or a year with two of them switching out, $1,599.99.
- If you are really poor, we'll connect you with one of the boys. For $89.99, they will send you an informative TikTok*** on the best method for waxing a floor using the least effort.
*** I don't actually know what a TikTok is, I might mean YouTube
- For $19.99 we will set up any number of grandkids to ping you randomly with a helpful “That's not how MY mom does it!”
- If you don't care about catching the virus [JK everyone cares, what kind of monsters do you think we are], we will send a couple of toddler boys over to baby-proof your house. “Ah, that was too fragile” – -A Satisfied Customer from BC19****
****Before Covid 19 obviously
MWAH! Love you!
Happy April Fool!
Rosie Hill says
What a deal!! Brilliant!!! You are a true, true visionary. Who needs Big Brother when you’ve got Ever-Present Auntie?
Leila says
This was my thought… and affordable, am I right?
Cristina Reintjes says
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lindsey says
This is so great!! 😀 Thanks for the laugh!
Betsy M says
You made me laugh our loud. Thank you.😘
Theresa Anne says
Finally, technology worth investing in. 😂 Thank you for all you do to enhance life in our homes. You have helped me to strive for a home life of order and wonder seasoned with a sprinkle of laughter! May God bless and protect your family.
Dixie says
Hahahaha!! This made my day!!
Hibiscus says
😂👏🏻🌻
Molly says
Perfect! Thank you for some quarantine laughs!
Anel Vlok says
Falling off my chair!!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Chris says
YOU ARE THE BEST!
Dyan says
Ha! This is great! Thanks for the laughs!
kenhpics says
Oh shucks – just a prank? I was looking forward to availing myself of this awesome service! But I guess I’ll just have to settle for the occasional greeting after church…
Enjoy the day, and thanks for the laugh! 🙂
Elizabeth W says
A dream come true! 🙂
Danielle Lajoie says
I forgot all about your April Fool’s jokes of the past and thought that you had really lost it, as you are usually so practical. Thank you for the fun!
Lori says
You’re the best!!! I love you!
Kate says
I’m glad someone still has a sense of humor!
I laughed at a joke my husband made while we were in Trader Joe’s and the staff looked at me like “Child, this no time to laugh.”
Jennifer K Parsons says
Hahaha. I thought you got hacked! Happy April Fools
Sonja Maierhauser says
This is great!!! When I woke up and realized it was April 1, I immediately remembered your post of several years ago (child discipline) and had a private laugh. I wondered if you might have another April Fool for your readers and quickly dismissed the thought. And now this! Thank you!!!!!
Helena says
You may want to censor this comment, and that is completely fine but … have you ever considered becoming a USCCB bishop? 😉
Emily Barton says
Lolololol!!!!! The thing is—your advice is worth the price!!!! 😉 I mean maybe you’re onto something!!! Thanks for the laughs today, Leila. ❤️
Donna Belzer says
Oh my gosh I love it! Happy day to you, Dear Lady!!!
Kathia says
Hilarious!! Especially the “budget” options! But also… to have Auntie Leila come be part of the family? Very tempting! 🙂 <3
Renee says
Perfect!
Emily says
Oh, Auntie Leila, I love you so.
Alice baldwin says
My first thought was, oh my gosh this is my dream job. I would love to be able to noodle through everyone’s house, open your drawers look at their cupboards and tell them they should get rid of their junk. Why didn’t I think of that. Maybe she’ll hire me.
My second thought was the writing business must’ve taken a bit of a slow turn.
Three: then I looked at my calendar and I was so disappointed this was no longer an option
Sandi Frances says
Laughter is the best medicine….
Katie Rains says
I kneeeeew that this was an April Fool’s joke but I secretly wanted it to be real!
Mignon says
Best. April. Fool’s. Post. Ever! I love your April Fool’s Day posts and look forward to them each year! What a great parody on all the “helpful” people out there making a buck off of poor desperate homemakers and homeschoolers on a budget.
Leila says
Honestly, Mignon, I was parodying myself! But yikes, I hope that homemakers and homeschoolers will gain confidence and not fall for real profiteers!
Adele says
Best April Fools yet. I’m sure we all needed the laugh.
Laura S. says
Hahahaha! Better able to tell me exactly what to do with my life! Love you, Auntie Leila!
Mrs T says
You’re terrible. 😁
Julie Knox says
Thanks for the much needed laugh!!!!
Jacki P says
“If you’re really poor, we’ll connect you with one of the boys.” Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
I laughed out loud and the kids came into the room to roll their eyes at me … again.
Terri says
Oh my–this had me in stitches. I especially love the discount options. So funny!
Jennifer says
I was wondering what this year would be after last year’s leggings! Lol
priest's wife (@byzcathwife) says
I was wondering what this year would be after last year’s leggings! Lol
Lisa G. says
You really put a lot of effort into these April Fool posts – I give you credit for that! 🙂
Lisa Racioppa says
Too funny!!! I actually fell for it and thought either you’ve lost your mind or someone has hacked your site! Lol
Well done!! Happy April Fools!!!!!
Molly R says
THANK YOU! So glad to see your April’s Fools. Such a relief as the rest of the world is caught up in the gloom. We need humor Now more than ever!
Bonnie Jalsevac says
A friend recommended this blog and this was my first article to read..hmmm
Wasn’t sure where it was going or what to think but I hung in as I trust my friend🤗…yep I feel at home with the humor!
Victoria says
HILARIOUS. I wish I had just checked in on April 1. I too remembered some of your April 1 posts of yore and I thought maybe you would do it again, but I guess I was busy that day, and also, I thought that there couldn’t possibly be anymore homemaker jokes that seemed nigh serious when you first read them….but I was wrong!!!! Great work! Love the discount options. 😀
Leila says
Quarantine problems 😉
Glad you enjoyed! xoxo