The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
Yesterday was the feast of St. Kateri Tekakwitha. Around these parts, we're big fans of hers!
To observe the feast, I pulled down this image to set up in our little oratory for veneration. I painted it several years ago when The Artist and I were hosting a party to celebrate the day of her canonization. It was thrown together quickly (on the afternoon of aforementioned party) and so it's a modest offering, but I like it; I know that if I had thought too much about it, the result would have been that I wouldn't have attempted anything and we would still be lacking a representation of this beloved saint in our home.
This past week was a bit of a whirlwind for us, such that I almost missed the feast entirely! Our car died on Monday (while I was driving it – with all the kids! – on the way to swim lessons). We are a one-car family, so it was fairly debilitating to be without it. Fortunately, by Friday we had a new (to us) one and we seem to be on our way. But woof.
This week's links!
Technology:
- How the Humble Index Card Foresaw the Internet From Auntie Leila: A good article for understanding how things were before the internet. Personally, I love index cards (the ones that are heavy stock, not the cheap thin ones). After many years of being dissatisfied with various means of collecting quotes and ideas, online and off, I have fully embraced the good old index card for its flexibility and visual clarity. (If a child is reluctant to commit to a journal or commonplace book, he might find index cards, properly filed of course, more appealing.)
- I kicked my smartphone addiction by retraining my brain to enjoy being bored. The thoughts here are worth considering when it comes to children as well. According to Auntie Leila, children should not have nothing to do, but, paradoxically, it's okay if they are bored — even good for them — within an overall structure of their day that includes productive activities. He touches on some deep matters at the end of the article; it's a good reminder to think about where we turn when we're upset and why. Although “turning inward” can help, as the author suggests, ultimately prayer is much more the answer than any social media feedback or distraction!
Protecting the Homefront:
- My friend and I were recently discussing the threat of CPS and how furious we'd be if some official came waltzing into our homes on the offensive (one case under discussion: a police officer upbraided the mother in question and, because he saw that the kids shared bedrooms; he labeled the living conditions unsuitable — can you imagine??). But we were also remarking that getting furious would probably make things worse. It's helpful to read these guidelines on What To Do if CPS Shows Up At Your Door. Bottom line: no one comes in unless they can produce a properly documented warrant! This is America.
- The Odyssey is about more than a good adventure story! “Harmonious Household:” Homer's Odyssey on the Breakdown of Marriage and Family. (Incidentally, the car we just got – [see above] gently used! for a good deal! – is a Honda Odyssey. Now I'm wondering if the designers at Honda had some insight into the idea of giving this name to a quintessentially Family car… )
Church related:
- At the intersection of Church history and archeology: Scientists have apparently uncovered St. Columba's cell on Iona.
- From my mom: “Maybe you've heard of Fr. James Martin, SJ; either as kindly purveyor of Catholic news and commentary in his role as America Magazine editor, or perhaps as single-minded promoter of LGBT concerns and author of Building a Bridge (a recycling of tendentious political propaganda repackaged for the age of Pope Francis and “who am I to judge?”). In this compact essay, Fr. Mankowski clarifies not only Fr. Martin's intentions but the perennial teachings of the Church: Pontifex Minimus.
In the Liturgical Year:
- Today is the memorial of St. Bonaventure!
From the Archives:
- It's a good time of year for a Salade Composée
- Nature Table Ideas (I love digging way back into the deep cellars of LMLD!)
~We’d like to be clear that, when we direct you to a site via one of our links, we’re not necessarily endorsing the whole site, but rather just referring you to the individual post in question (unless we state otherwise).~
Lindsay says
Love these links! I was just thinking of CPS today. I once read a CPS report for work, and it noted with disfavor that the “floors hadn’t been vacuumed that day.” Oh my, if they saw my house! (they didn’t take those kids away because of the dirty floors, but still!)
Tamara says
Hi,
Do you know where it is possible to get thick index cards? I’ve tried everywhere I can think of to no avail.
Leila says
I buy the brand name ones (Oxford?) at Staples — their brand is terrible!
Tamara says
Thank you for replying. I appreciate it.
Becky g says
How do you like your Moses basket? I borrowed one for my last baby, but found it to be lacking in strength and stamina (it consistently unravelled and needed lots of repairs before, during, and after our gentle use). I am looking for a basket, or something similar, to use as a moveable cozy spot for a napping new born. I have made it through 3 kids with relatively little in the way of baby-gear, so we don’t have (or want) bouncy chairs or swings or anything like that to hold a very little one. If you (or anyone else) has a good recommendation for a Moses basket or other baby resting spot, I would love to hear! (And I do love your Saint Kateri!)
Deirdre says
Becky g,
I love the basket in that it is lightweight and attractive. It’s easy to move it around, easy to store it (I actually hang it from the ceiling in my storage closet), and breathable for the summer months. I got mine through Craigslist.
However, I will say that Peabodee enjoyed it more than Chickapea currently is, and so I’ve actually been eyeing a bouncy seat. I too am baby-gear-averse and highly jealous of my floorspace, so I treat all baby things with suspicion. But I tend to think that a good, adjustable bouncy seat of the low-profile variety (like this one, if you can swing it or find a bargain on it: https://www.amazon.com/BABYBJORN-Bouncer-Balance-Black-Cotton/dp/B00BQYVNEG?th=1) would be more flexible than this large Moses basket, filling all its functions plus other ones.
Amy A. says
Becky, I have a foldable Fisher Price cradle that was a perfect place for my newborns to nap. It’s slightly inclined rather than flat like a basket, and it’s easy to move around the house to wherever you need it, and small enough for a toddler to fetch for you! However, when I tried to find a link for you I couldn’t find a plain version like I have, apparently all the new versions of this item have little buttons on the side that will make the cradle vibrate. I bought mine secondhand at a children’s used gear sale, so maybe keep your eye out? Otherwise just buy the current version (used or new) and don’t feel that you need to use the vibration setting unless it helps your babe.
caitlinloiko says
I appreciated the article on the Odyssey! I haven’t read it since freshman (high school) English and admittedly missed a lot back then.
Can anyone explain to me how Odysseus wasn’t destroying his home himself when he slept around during his travels? I was actually hoping the article would address that… is it just that he’s a man and a soldier?
I remember feeling bad for Penelope. Over twenty years you’d think she’d eventually want to move on. But he got to have his fun. That was my 14 year old girl’s impression of the situation, at least… help me with my continuing (self) education, homeschooling mavens! 🙂
fillingthequiver says
I have no objection to the CPS article, probably mostly good advice, it is important to know our rights and act upon them. However, I wanted to share this thought. Be aware that any time you hear about abuses by CPS (or any government agency that works with children, ie schools etc..) the story is one sided. Not that it’ always wrong, but that it only tells what the parent, or the news wants to tell. This one sidedness is because agencies like CPS have no right to share their side of the story, because of privacy laws that protect the children in their care. They can’t set the record straight when the news media gets it wrong, sometimes horribly so. In the above instance it is very likely that there were issues that were not reveled in the one sided report that makes it sound like children were removed from their home because they shared a bedroom. I have worked with many many families in situations where CPS removed their children, and with many many children in the foster care system and many have these one sided positions about their story, but with deeper insight you find that’s not the whole truth.
Please don’t hear this comment as a defense of the deplorable things that do sometimes happen in this system. I do believe that it is broken. I personally believe that many times children would be better off in their home with their less than perfect parents than the damage it does to remove them and toss them around. And I believe that CPS needs workers that have been, or are parents, which is not the case for most of them. But deeper than that, I believe there is a better, more organic way to help parents in need, and children in harms way than to destroy their family. The Church needs to help find that way and put it into practice. Protecting children, (and parents) in a broken world is messy work, but it’s the work of Jesus. May we look for truth in every circumstance.
Leila says
Fillingthequiver, I think your point is a good one. We do have to look for truth and we do have to be aware of the issue of how when we hear of a situation we don’t necessarily know all the details, nor can they be shared by the authorities (certainly, we wouldn’t want them sharing our details!).
We have to somehow balance the undeniably need for state intervention where there is actual abuse, and protecting ourselves (and helping each other) against intrusion where there is no abuse.
Kevin says
Love your St. Kateri artwork! It’s a beautiful representation and I think it perfectly captures her humble spirit. Plus, I wish I had friends that held parties for the canonization of saints! Might have to take up that idea myself 🙂
Deirdre says
Thank you!
Faith says
Hi Deirdre,
Your ability to put that lovely piece of artwork together with your busy group of “littles” inspires me. I am impressed. What a great idea for party celebrations for the saints. You and the whole LMLD family gives me such inspiration. How do you find those little pockets of time?
Faith
Deirdre says
Hi Faith! Just to clarify, I did that drawing/painting back before I had children, the first summer we were married. I haven’t done anything like it since. Someone else asked on here recently about how I make time for MuTu, so maybe I’ll share more in depth about my schedule soon. But for now I can share a few of my strategies: take maximum advantage of nap times and have art supplies very near at hand (for my purposes this means literally out in my work station right on my kitchen table) for use at a moment’s notice. And, of course, (as my mom instructs) be very much on top of meal planning and laundry so that those essentials are squared away at all times. …. And, for all that, I only manage to eke out a few hours’ worth of artwork a week — and I’m talking about paid, commissioned work!
L says
Auntie Leila,
The casual “age of Pope Francis and ‘who am I to judge'” is so surprising to me. I feel like you’re in on something that I’m not grasping. I’ll admit to checking back here wishing for some replies to help me understand better so I thought I would just take it upon myself. Am I right in reading it as a bit glib or maybe more charitably- tongue in cheek? Is your understanding and that of like-minded people that Pope Francis is a detriment to the church?
Do you wholly dislike the Jesuits? I can recognize that you and I might not have the same theological preferences but I do love the Jesuits and I’m thankful that they’re a part of the church. But the same goes for the parts of the church that I find distasteful and problematic because I recognize how cherished and important they are to other people.
I’m not at all pleading for political correctness, just wondering what your thoughts are. I hope you’ll excuse my bluntness and find it in you to chalk up any offenses I’ve made to spiritual immaturity. It’s only recently occurred to me that I could just ask these questions of people I admire rather than fretting and feeling sad about them.
Leila says
Dear L, we are always up for a discussion! — I am wondering if you read the article linked? It’s written by our friend Fr. Mankowski, who is himself a Jesuit — a very orthodox and brave one. He says he became a Jesuit because he found that “they always seem to be where the fighting is thickest” — and that suits me very well!
Fr. Martin represents an aspect of the Jesuits that is downright destructive, and the article (a review by the former of the latter’s book) explains very clearly why!
I do think it’s fairly clear that there is a battle going on for the direction of the Church, and the Jesuits are indeed in the thick of it. We can’t just affirm *all* of them, because they say contradictory things — we have to take sides! If one Jesuit is telling us that the Catechism has to be changed and we are wrong to uphold Scriptural morality, and another is telling us that morality is for our flourishing and that the very words of Our Lord tell us so, well, we have to acknowledge that we are in a quandary.
Certainly, Pope Francis’ remark (Who am I to judge) is by far the most famous thing he has said, and has been used to justify a lot of immorality (not a popular word, but there you have it). Perhaps I assumed more familiarity with what is going on than readers actually have (again, I think that Fr. M’s review would make my intro more understandable). Yes, I’m being somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but also very serious. Fr. Martin’s book is indeed the recycling of some very tired old attempts to rationalize homosexuality in the face of Church teaching. Someone wrote (sorry, I don’t have the link) that his book would never have received the attention it is getting if it had not been for Pope Francis’ enabling remark, general approbation of the LGBT agenda, and particular affirmation of Fr. Martin, whom he appointed to a (largely honorary) communications consultant position (and he is undeniably a master at it).
Don’t fret or feel sad! Above all, we stand for the Church, for Christ. We are just trying to tell the truth! If Fr. Martin were, tomorrow, to up and say he upholds the teachings of the Magisterium and affirms the parts of the Catechism he had said should be changed, he’d be A-OK! Isn’t that the least we should all do?
L says
I didn’t read the article, or realize it was written by a Jesuit. To be fair, I also follow Fr. Martin on Facebook and haven’t clicked a single link from him relating to his new book. The intersection of homosexuality and the church had a good hand in souring me on Catholicism for a while. It wasn’t well researched, I just despised hearing prayers for something that seemed immoral to me- I was a teenager. I still don’t quite feel willing to dive into that particular topic, but if I ever do I bet I would really like to read that article and talk about it with you.
I am glad to know that author is a Jesuit and I am going to look for things he has written (hopefully that aren’t on homosexuality).
I love your blog. If the church really is in a battle, I think we would be against each other. But I think a lot of your thoughts are lovely and I’ll keep reading. Maybe someday I’ll muster up the wherewithal to maintain a better discussion.
Thank you!
L says
Hi, I did a little thinking on this after all. I took a peek at Fr. Mankowski’s article. To be honest it came off as a little sensationalized to me, though I don’t doubt that you are gathering things from it that I can’t. It looks like right off the bat he is objecting to the fact that Fr. Martin doesn’t explicitly cover sexual ethics in his book, which I’ve read is a common objection to “Building a Bridge”. I just don’t think Fr. Martin’s intention was to weigh in on that aspect of homosexuality. I really don’t think he is trying to facilitate gay sex, he’s just trying to express how we can make room for homosexuals who might or might not be willing to follow church teaching in our church. We do still want them there! Sexual ethics aren’t the only thing to be garnered from Catholicism, after all. I know that there are homosexuals who find fulfillment in chastity, but I can’t deny that it is a lot to ask someone to sustain a life without the level of intimacy that a sexual relationship provides. Some people just aren’t going to see wisdom in the Church’s teaching on this topic and sometimes forcing a thing doesn’t work. In reference to extreme cases- we don’t consider suicide martyrdom, after all.
From my perspective, I think you’re right that in some ways that the Church is in a battle. But it seems like an old battle between conservatism and progress. The Church does progress! Just in her old, cautious, lumbering way. Conservatives and progressive Catholics need each other as much as they are at odds. And I really don’t think Fr. Martin represents radicalism in this case. I’m fairly certain (still just don’t want to read his book!) that he is only asking for charity for homosexuals and trying to spell out what that might look like in a practical way. I really don’t think he is violating Church teaching in “Building a Bridge”, I read that he had it validated by two different cardinals. I also want to point out that he has some really nice, seemingly unproblematic reflections on the saints. Just because someone is accessible to a wide variety of people does not mean that they are a moral relativist. And progressives are concerned with morality (re: immorality being a bad word). I think we just notice different things than conservatives.
Thanks for engaging with me! It’s given me so much to think about!
Leila says
Dear L — Some of the things you say *could* be true — but aren’t. You would have to read Fr. Martin’s book and then read Fr. Mankowski’s response (not just peek at it — I can assure you that every word counts in that review), and then you would know that actually, Fr. Martin relativizes actions that are actually quite absolute. So for instance, it’s an absolute — literally written in stone — that “thou shalt not commit adultery” — which both Jews and Christians explicate to cover all of sexual morality. You can read about it here:
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm
Fr. Martin indeed does specialize in many “nice” things, and then he catches people unawares and feeds them things that are not so nice. The Gospel warns us of such people, ones whose teaching is not above board. For instance, he simply will not affirm the Church’s teaching on homosexuality as found in the Catechism.
Sadly, not all cardinals are committed to teaching the moral law, even though Our Lord Himself in the Gospel of John said, “If you love me, keep my commandments.”
The Church can never ever progress to the point that she undermines the moral law. That will never happen, because the moral law is given for GOODNESS — so that we may be good, and know God. “Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God”!
If we never tell people what is good, what is commanded, and what Jesus died for — and what the consequence of unrepented sin is — then how can they know they ought to repent? If no one had told ME that certain things were just wrong — certain things that I thought were fine, nice, and actually things I had to do in order to live — I would not have repented and accepted the Gospel! Why would I not want such a good thing for all the others? Fr. Martin does not love homosexuals this much…
Leila says
By the way, it’s an article of faith — something that being a Catholic means we must accept — that every person COULD, with God’s grace, fulfill the moral law. That is, it is an error of great proportions to hold that some simply cannot do what ought to be done, that it is too hard.
This isn’t to say that we won’t fall. It’s just to say that with repentance and God’s grace, the Holy Spirit WILL give us what we need to conquer sin and to do what is good.
And this we must believe, or Christ died, on the cross, in terrible agony, in vain.
Think about it!
L says
Alright, you Queen of New England. The thoughts are in my head. I still find it rather conveniently picky choosy that THOSE cardinals aren’t getting it right, but I saw you fingering that bit of catechesis to chuck my way if necessary. Did you notice how we talked right past each other in there? I sure did. I’m off to supplicate elsewhere.