The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
In recent months, I've had some issues with my dryer. Without warning, it started to fail to produce dry results. The same sized load on the same settings was coming out… damp. And it sure is frustrating to find that you've run your dryer for a good, long, (not thrifty!) cycle only to have damp laundry!
My landlord pulled the dryer out of the wall and found a nest in the vent. Well, there you have it!
It happened again, and he found another nest, this time with eggs! Oh no – poor things! Poor silly animals, why did you do that? This time he put in some mesh so that there could be no re-entry.
But then, I was having a little picnic lunch in the back yard with my kiddos and looked up to the outside opening of the dryer vent coming out of our second floor apartment and spied a little bird popping in and out — with bits of grass in its beaks. Oh dear.
This time I asked my landlord to check it out before I ventured to use the dryer again (fortunately for all involved, the weather had meanwhile taken a definite turn towards summer and, therefore, line drying). This time he went up on a ladder on the outside and, sure enough…
Poor, persistent creatures! I hate to be responsible for their displacement, but I also didn't want to roast their young by trying to get my clothes dry! So now there's a mesh barrier on the outer part of the vent as well (I guess the original nest had been farther in). The nest (shown above in the hands of my landlord's son) was relocated into a nearby tree, but I'm not sure what the odds are that the birds are going to settle back in after it's been handled. Sigh. It was a treat to get to see it up close, though!
This week's links:
On love & marriage:
- I don't think I agree with 100% of what's in this NYTimes opinion piece — Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person — but I do think that it offers a lot of helpful food for thought. Recently I was talking to The Artist about what it takes for two young people in our culture to make the decision for marriage. He spoke of the relief that he felt when he learned that he didn't have to find the One Woman who would meet all his needs (good thing for me!) – yes, it is a feeling of relief when you learn that you don't have to find someone who won't disappoint you in any way. That is too tall of an order to try to fulfill; letting go brings so much peace. Of course what this article is lacking is the observation that there is indeed a Person in whom we find fulfillment… and we don't have to go on a lot of first dates in order to meet Him.
- We hope you are already familiar with all of Jane Austen's great works. But in case you haven't yet read it, you need to move Sense & Sensibility to the top of your list. The article linked above has a line that brings this great novel to my mind: “Romanticism has been unhelpful to us; it is a harsh philosophy.” The character Marianne is a romantic. We tend to think that this means she's sentimental and therefore probably a soft sort of person; gentle and mild and even saccharine or flimsy. In fact, she is harsh! The Artist and I recently read this book aloud together and, reading and discussing it with him, I had the pleasure to re-learn about Eleanor's virtues. Her self-sacrificing gentleness is a much stronger quality to poise her for a happy marriage than Marianne's idealism, which leads her to be selfish and hard on others.
- Just to pop some Archives material in right here, because it's so appropriate: You Are Building Something. Part of the series on Casti Cannubii.
- Looking for a recommendation for a long movie or a short miniseries? I absolutely loved Dr. Thorne, an Amazon original film written by Julian Fellowes (whom you know from Downton Abbey… but this is much better [I only watched through Season 2 of that before I'd had enough, begging the pardon of you DA enthusiasts out there]). It's just a straight-up delightful British period drama about love and money duking it out for marriage. My only complaint is that too much time was spent in fireside introduction and recaps with Mr. Fellowes, and I'd rather have spent those precious minutes developing some of the characters further. NB: I haven't read the Trollope novel on which it's based, so I can't judge it as an adaptation, but it definitely makes me want to read the book now! Plus: the proposal scene!!!
Miscellaneous:
- This Obituary of Jane Fawcett is well worth reading to learn about an extremely interesting woman with many accomplishments (ballet dancing, code-cracking, opera-singing, historic building-saving… no big deal). Read between the lines, as well, to see how women before the feminist revolution were able to pursue their interests – just a little “anti-narrative” perspective.
- Also in memoriam: a Tribute to LLLI Co-Founder Mary White, a woman to whom many of us are indebted for her work to promote breastfeeding when it had gone out of style, and who also happens to be the mother/grandmother of dear friends of ours!
- Gorgeous Pictures of the Holy Land from 120 Years Ago — these are unreal!
In the Liturgical Year:
- Today we observe The Immaculate Heart of Mary. I do love this title for her!
From the Archives:
- I'm just leaving you one option (other than the one above) because it's just so good – I really want you to re-read it. Ask Auntie Leila: How Do I Tell People We're Having Another Baby?
Rhonda says
In response to the last link on telling people you are pregnant: When we were ready to let others know we were expecting #5, we took our children out for supper, told them the happy news and let them spread the word. We did not hear a single word of criticism and who but the most hardened person could dampen the bursting enthusism of a child anticipating the arrival of a new sibling?!
Deirdre says
That’s awesome!
Amy says
Deirdre! The same thing just happened to my dryer! And I, like you, felt bad for the poor birds. I am relieved to have a dryer that is working again, though! I didn’t know this was a “thing.”
James Anderson says
The link to the Jane Fawcett obit isn’t working, but I googlede it and found one at: http://www.economist.com/news/obituary/21699884-jane-fawcett-n-e-janet-caroline-hughes-codebreaker-and-saviour-victorian-buildings-died
Leila says
Thanks, James, we fixed the link.
Carol Kennedy says
On the subject of Jane Austen, isn’t here that I found a book about Jane Austen as a guide for dating? I read it, and I think lent it to some young single I know, and now I can’t recall the name or the author. But it had really good analysis of Marianne vs Elinor, among other characters. It also gave a good overview of the philosophy of the Austen’s time and where she fit in. Does anyone remember this book?
Leila says
Carol, yes — it’s The Jane Austen Guide to Living Happily Ever After
http://amzn.to/1VEvGcr
I enjoyed this book very much and think it could be a great one to read with some young ladies in a book club. Lots of room for discussion (after careful reading of both Austen’s books and this book).
My only caveat is the same as with many analyses of this sort — it’s true that our current hook-up, cohabitating, easy sex culture doesn’t lead to happiness. At some point, I think we should just say that it’s WRONG and also even EVIL to commit immoral acts. It’s not just that they aren’t useful acts! The author never really says, “It’s wrong to sleep with a person before marriage — to commit the sin of fornication. It endangers one’s eternal soul! AND — It also doesn’t lead to happiness in this world.” I wish she had said that! Otherwise, it’s excellent.
elizabeth k says
Yes – why, oh why – do we mince words when it comes to sin?
Carol Kennedy says
Yes, I remember that one caveat when I read it and passed it on to a grown up niece. Aside from the fact that I am already happily married and so don’t need to think about spouse choice…the book is a very interesting analysis of JA, and, as I said, that understanding of the underlying philosophy of the day (and today) is so important. Thanks for giving me the title again, I am going to look for another copy to just to keep for future reference.
Carol Kennedy says
And with regard to the article about marrying the wrong person…some good points about this idea that there is some sort of perfect match to you (resulting in nary and argument throughout marriage), I like to put in a plug for the way I met my husband…on a Catholic “dating” website in which I was able to find out his professed faith (Catholic) and his opinions on such difficult topics as the Church’s teaching on contraception and the Real Presence before we even exchanged emails. Things like taste in music become a lot less important in light of those. And between emails and phone calls we already knew a lot about how we both envisioned family life and marriage before we even met in person. All those things being close to the same page eliminates a lot of friction in marriage.
Katherine says
Thank you for the movie recommendation. I, too, only watched a few episodes of DA before I called it quits. My girls were watching “Wives and Daughters” last night and are looking for something else British to watch as the summer progresses.
The NYT piece reminded me of this Tolkien quote: “Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might have found more suitable mates. But the ‘real soul-mate’ is the one you are actually married to.”
Margo, Thrift at Home says
so I can only watch Dr. Thorne if I have Amazon Prime? Too bad – I don’t have it and have no plans to get it.
Deirdre says
Yes, I guess so – a bummer. Maybe a Prime member friend will have you over… 🙂
elizabeth k says
I so enjoyed the write-up about Ms. Fawcett. I do, however – always have an issue when the Codebreakers are brought up – Ms. Fawcett’s contribution was bar none, but it was the Poles who first broke the Enigma code, passed it on to the Brits and then were forgotten in history as to their MOST vital contribution. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/03/15/polish-codebreakers-cracked-enigma-before-alan-turing/
Leila says
Very interesting, Elizabeth — I hadn’t known about that. I thought The Imitation Game movie even gave short shrift to the Bletchley Circle women! It annoyed me. I hope that these Poles can get more attention for their story. Thanks for letting us know!
Mary Cooney says
The kids found a birds nest under our deck with baby birds in it. They were thrilled. They also found a black rat snake. I was not so thrilled. And Sense and Sensibility…. I love that book!
Lisa G. says
Here’s hoping the nest won’t be abandoned. I once found a robin’s egg on the ground, under a tall tree. I kept it warm, holding at as much as possible, till my brother came home. He got the ladder and put it back in the nest. It did hatch! But a little different from your situation.
Deirdre says
Interesting! I would have thought that more handling would make it less likely to survive, as traces of humans often scare mother animals away. I hope it works out in our case!
Victoria says
I really loved Dr. Thorne! It was just a delightful romantic comedy that wasn’t over-burdened with modern, unbelievable attempts to shock (like Downton…). I just skipped the commentary at the beginning of each episode.
Mrs. B. says
The NYT piece was revealing, in a way: Arranged marriages were awful and produced loneliness, infidelity, abuse! But then it seems Romantic marriages can produce pretty much the same results, as even the writer acknowledges… So yes, it would seem fallen human nature at work here! It worries me that I keep reading news stories about college students handing their lists of demands, expecting their every whim to be met with profuse apologies. How can we expect them to suddenly switch gear, and become humble and understanding when it comes to making a marriage work? The NYT piece makes a good point, to be sure, but there are a lot of deaf ears these days…
Deirdre, I think it’s sweet that you and your husband read books aloud together! We don’t do that, but we like to read the same book and then talk about it – these days it’s all about Brideshead Revisited, which we keep re-reading, and discuss endlessly! The other day I told him, These are not even real people! Which of course shows what a great book it is.
But you mentioning S&S made me ponder about mothers in Jane Austen… Is there a novel in which the mother of the heroine is a truly good model? All I can think of are pretty poor characters, or they are dead, though I don’t remember all her novels well (I need to reread Northanger Abbey…) For instance, I’ve always wondered why Marianne’s mother doesn’t try harder to teach Marianne to rein in her strong passions: is it because she knows it will happen with age, or is she simply too weak to do it, or perhaps she thinks it’s not a problem? Elinor has a lot more sense than her mother. Marianne clearly matures, but the mother remains a cipher to me: there is no sign she’s learned anything from Marianne’s troubles (though of course the girls are the focus of the novel). I just thought it interesting that Austen’s mothers are often problematic.
Lisa G. says
Mrs. B., I always got the idea that Marianne was very like her mother. But yeah, the mother didn’t seem to learn anything from her daughter’s travails. Unless Jane Austen just wasn’t interested in making the mother-characters that well developed.
Deirdre says
Yes, we do love to read aloud together. Of course, I’m both too picky and not auditory enough to be read to (spoiled by having been raised on read-alouds with Auntie Leila, who was the best read-aloud reader ever!), so I always have to be the reader. 🙂 Fortunately, we both enjoy that setup. I need to re-read Brideshead.
It’s true that there are no great mothers in Austen. I had never thought about that before! Mrs. Dashwood is very frustrating! She never realizes how very unfair she was towards Eleanor. But she, like Mrs. Bennet, does offer some humor. I guess these ladies are warnings to us about who not to become…