It can be tricky to see friends during the holidays. On the one hand, folks have time off from work and are in the mood for visiting and celebrating, so it seems like it's prime time to see each other! On the other hand, it's a time when family takes priority, and many folks go away to be with theirs.
We wanted to visit with our friends and neighbors this Christmas, but we were among those who were out of town for a good chunk of time. If we were to facilitate a time together with local Manchester friends, I knew it had to be simple. We have limited resources, after all (December is expensive!), and we were just coming off of a long trip away, so I was going to have to catch up on things at home and freshen the apartment; I wouldn't have a lot of time for cleaning and cooking for a full-on party.
So we decided to host an Hot Cocoa Party open house on the 10th Day of Christmas (that was the day that fell on a Sunday afternoon) so that we could catch up with our friends and neighbors in that happy time after the preparations are done but the festivity continues.
It was a hit: easy to put together and easy to clean up after. Our friends all had a good time (or so I believe!) and it was a simple enough concept that I really did get to visit with everyone instead of bustling during the party.
So I thought I'd make some notes, so I can remember what we did — we're hoping to make it an annual tradition.
Invitations — I sent out an email to our neighbors and a notice on our Pocket page to invite everyone well before Christmas day. I just wanted to put it on everyone's radar:
~~ Subject Line: 10th Day of Christmas Hot Cocoa Open House ~~
Hi Friends,
Come by anytime between 1-4. It's BYOM — Bring your own mug!
Preparations —
We cleaned up our kitchen, living room, and the nursery. We removed all extraneous items and stowed them away in our bedroom. In the nursery, we left out only some basic toys: building blocks and a few baby things. We did our best to make our little apartment spacious for the influx of folks.
I made sugar cookies (from the Joy of Cooking cookbook). That was all the baking I did. I was determined that it would be very simple and the focus would just be on sharing a drink.
I did a bit of recipe research, and finally made two crock pots full of This Hot Cocoa Recipe, one of them using dark cocoa and one of them using regular. The second crock pot was borrowed from my mother, and we did need it (we had about 36 adults and children come through, and I replenished the crockpots about halfway through the party). I recommend the recipe – I heard from a couple guests that it was the best hot cocoa they'd ever had!
(There is this Coconut Cocoa recipe, which could be adapted for dairy-free folks. I've made it and it's very tasty, but I recommend thinning it out somehow or not using all the condensed milk, as I found it a little cloying.)
Just before guests arrived, I lit the candles.
Note: I should have started the cocoa earlier, as it really needed a good 1 1/2 hours to mix up and heat up. Our guests were very patient and bore with me even though there was no cocoa immediately available at the beginning of the cocoa party. Oops.
The Open House —
We decided on the Open House format since we were apprehensive about our space fitting everyone whom we wanted to invite. Folks felt free to come by for just a short time; a couple families showed up right towards the end (they'd been waiting for their babies to wake up from naps), and we were definitely pleased to see them just for a little bit rather than not at all!; the flow worked out and people came and went, without it ever getting too crowded in here. The kids enjoyed playing the blocks in the nursery and cocoa supervised by their parents.
A few friends had asked if they could bring anything, and I'd said no, thank you – it was just going to be simple cocoa. A couple others kindly brought small contributions, which I put out along with the spread.
Bring Your Own Mug —
The BYOM thing was key. You know how everyone has that one mug that they're attached to or proud of? Well, they don't get to share that mug outside of the home, but it is actually a great conversation starter! We had total strangers connecting over interesting mugs and the stories behind them. For another thing, everyone took their mugs with them when they left, meaning very little clean-up for us (which was good, because we were still lagging after New Year's Eve and not up for much labor that evening)!
I put some crushed-up mint candies on the table and they tasted delicious mixed into the cocoa. I'm sure you could come up with lots of other fun additions besides the marshmallows (whipped cream was on my mind but I just didn't get to it).
I won't be surprised if some of you have had this idea already – what are your suggestions for a fun Hot Cocoa Party? Or what is a low-key way you like to get friends together during the cold months?
Rosemary says
I really love this idea … especially the bring your own mug aspect!! How smart!
Michele says
I LOVE this idea! Tucking it away for next year. 😉
Libby Jane says
Good one. Thanks for showing.
It’s hard not to be fussing around when hosting and takes forethought.
Melissa D says
I love this so much — hot chocolate is so comforting and fun at any age. I love a little grated nutmeg on top. This seems like the perfect way to celebrate Valentine’s Day as well.
For Christmas one of my gifts was a little milk frother — you put about 1/2 cup of hot milk into what looks like a small french press and pump it for about 20 seconds, tops. Less bother than whipped cream, but very pretty poured on top (I pour it on top of homemade chai). It feels like gilding the lily, even though it’s just a little milk, made pretty!
My kids made a hot chocolate stand last week and sat at the foot of our driveway for hours to sell. Only 6 customers, but they made $3! (They ran up to the house to dish it out from the stove into cups with lids.)
Becky g says
Clever! I am not a natural hostess – introvert, indeed. It may seem silly to some, but I really do need to be told how to do these things! Thanks for the inspiration! Also, impressive table! Is it really that long, or is this a trick of the camera?
Jen says
agreed!
Deirdre says
I’m glad you enjoyed the post. 🙂 Thanks!
Becky, yes it is a 7 foot table! One of my best craigslist finds ever!
Aimee says
Love this! I might be able to handle this. I tend to get very overwhelmed at hosting and generally only have my family over for most events. I always get extremely stressed out at the cleaning aspect and the cost of hosting. Even if people contribute, hosting can be incredibly expensive.
Also, first thing I noticed was your table. We need a bigger dining table as I don’t think we’ll be able to squeeze when the baby moves out of his high chair.
Deirdre says
At some point, at least in theory, I’m going to write more about the Chesternest and will talk about the table – one of my favorite pieces of furniture ever. I got it through craigslist!
BetsyM says
We had a party with friends on New Years day (vs. eve as we all have small children.) I never realized the physical numbers of our group until we started party planning. Everyone has at minimum 3 kids with some families as large as 10 kids so I was disappointed when we had to cut down the list to be manageable to fit in our house. I still kept the list rather large though, figuring a bunch would not be able to make it. Well, they almost all came and it was wonderful. We did open house format, as you did, and that is what saved us. Half showed up and then the second half came when the first was leaving. We did a simple chili and toppings with chips and Christmas cookies to round it out. The only thing is that I worry a bit about those whom I did not invite finding out that they were left out and being offended. Ugh. What to do in this situation? I cannot afford to do a second party right away – but will have them out come summer. Hopefully they all understand.
Dixie says
We used to have “Pie and Music” parties in grad school. Storebought or homemade pies, depending on our energy level, ice cream, everyone singing (usually Irish music), and then evening prayer. Everyone really loved it.
I love the idea of a hot cocoa party, especially the BYOM part!
Deirdre says
Your Pie and Music shindig sounds lovely! I’ve been getting more and more into this kind of idea lately.
Marie S. says
What a lovely idea! And so simple – which makes it even more attractive!
We’ve done 9th/10th Day of Christmas Parties the last couple years (basically, the weekend after the New Year). Evites went out to the members of our bible studies, some church friends, and a few friends from other places who got to see how the “other half” lives! We had several kinds of soup in crock pots and a platter of cookies the kids helped us make on the 4th Sunday of Advent. Everyone else brought either an appetizer or treats to share. It wasn’t too bad from a work standpoint, even though we made all the soups (but my husband put his foot down on homemade noodles). Oh, and I guess we had hot dogs or mac & cheese for kids who don’t like soup. Over the course of the 5-8pm time frame (basically selected due to our kids’ nap/bed times and the fact most of our friends have similar constraints), we had over 60 people (over 30 kids). Fortunately, a couple families with older kids cleaned up the tornado that went through our basement / play area, so clean up wasn’t too bad. We put everything away, shortened the dining room table, and vacuumed/mopped before we went to bed – I’m one of those clean freaks who can’t go to bed unless it’s all picked up (or unpacked, or put away, as the case may be!).
We thought about buying soup or cancelling this year because we went to a funeral out of town on the 30th/31st… so maybe next year we’ll go easy on ourselves and just do hot chocolate! It sounds like a lot of fun and SO easy! Thanks for a great idea!
JulieS says
This is just lovely. Such a good plan and such a good reminder of the virtues and joy of a simple, warm, flexible, modest and reasonable exercise of hospitality. I may borrow it with minor tweaks (mulled cider in autumn!) or as-is, in coming winters, for certain.
Cecilia says
What a wonderful idea! What I truly admire is your insistence on keeping it simple. This is the hardest part for me when it comes to hosting (or even taking things to parties!) because as hard as I try to keep things simple, I always do too much.
A few years ago we hosted a few families for Easter dessert. What I made was simple enough, a cake of some sort, and we had some wine and drinks, which was all fine and dandy. BUT, my daughter was only maybe two weeks old, and I was exhausted and literally falling asleep as I was talking to my friends! Not exactly good times. I just wanted to celebrate Easter in some special way, as we weren’t with family, and I love sharing desserts I make, because, well, I love making (and eating) dessert! But I must learn to be more prudent…
Alas, I shall keep your party model in mind when I get tempted to have a huge feast!
Nanci says
What a marvelous idea! Having college age kids who all come home for Christmas break, we try to extend the gatherings as long as possible. This year we started early by hosting a young family with 7 children for a “crafter-noon” where we made sure simple snowflake ornaments and graham cracker houses. They brought the goodies while we provided cocoa and craft stuff. It was a marvelous time! We then had our annual Epiphany feast as well as having a couple of my son’s seminarian schoolmates over for brunch and board games. I love that we can celebrate the Christmas season for more than one day, and it’s such fun to see all the ideas everyone has to help me think of more for next year!
Mrs. B. says
Oh, I can do this! Leila reminded us that this time before Ash Wed. is perfect for visiting, and all this snow we got is perfect for a Hot Cocoa Party. We could let the kids play in the snow while we chat, and have a fire too. I think the choice of a Sunday afternoon is very good, too, as people are more likely to take it easy and not be so busy.
Lovely how you set the table, Deirdre!
Nancy says
Thanks for sharing this great idea- and like the idea of everyone brings their favorite mug!
Lisa G. says
This is such a nice idea. So often one wants to do something simple, but doesn’t know how to go about it.
Dawn says
I absolutely love this idea! IT is marvelous! I just hope I can remember it next year.
Blessings, Dawn
Annalisa says
Deirdre, the idea of BYOM really is inspired. The conversations that can start without half trying! So nice at a gathering that brings together people from different parts of one’s life.
a reader says
I have a question: How does one host once the family becomes large simultaneous with the families of friends becoming equally large (or larger)? Note: I live in a small house with a matchbox yard, if that helps you visualize the scenario. I find it nearly impossible to have even one other family over for a gathering–it is mayhem! I am very used to mayhem, having grown up in a family with 7 kids and having 5 of my own, but something about hosting others amidst the chaos makes me feel super embarrassed! It is really hard to talk with others, there isn’t enough room to seat everyone, there is inevitably three to twenty-five lemonade spills and I feel like I have to talk really loud to the other mom(s) in order to be heard over the cacophony. Booze at the party usually helps, but not enough.
How do I host and cut back on the crazy?
Rhonda says
Serve water, not lemonade! Keep the menu simple. Know that the other family understands mayhem, too, and will be blessed by your heart to serve and fellowship with them.
Deirdre says
Dear reader,
I’m no expert on managing a gathering like that. But my first instinct would be to say to limit your hosting to warm months when you can get outside and make use of that little yard. (Serving lemonade, for instance, would definitely be easier if there were a “lemonade must stay outside” rule.) I agree with Rhonda that I bet your friends are grateful, in any case, that you brought people together.
Ellen says
Best Idea EVER! I am not a natural hostess! Just a shame that it’s really not hot cocoa weather here in Australia at this time of year – we’d do better with something cold…!
Colleen says
This is awesome–our family is planning to relocate soon, near some family members, yes, but has me thinking what a neat “meet the neighbors” open house (housewarming party without gifts) this would be! No need to stay a long time for neighbors who might just want to see who the new family with a gaggle of youngsters is, nothing too fussy for people still figuring out where everything goes, no big expense after the expense of moving, but a warm way to say “hi, we’re new, we’re nice, and we want to create community.” Also, this could totally be an easy mom’s group/st Greg pocket gathering to organize. Long story long: thank you for the simple idea!
Elizabethanne says
My mom used to have an open house around Christmas where she just served desserts and cider. Every year I think of doing it at our home, but this post really motivates me to actually do it. She made a cheese cake and ordered a few dozen cookies from a local bakery and everyone brought whatever desserts they had, which made for a fun mix of cookies and halves of pies, etc. It’s one of my fondest childhood memories.
Libby Jane says
People in our neighborhood do the multiple big family thing all the time in small houses. Mostly, you just have to not care so much about being Martha Stewart about it. Thouh it can totally be charming and delightful!
We don’t have a huge family, but our extended family is getting big and we have had gatherings with people sitting in all kinds of rooms, wherever we could squeeze them. Everyone pitches in to help. People are always coming in, asking what they can do. You just have to give it a try til you get the hang of it.
I see the Somali and Hmong and Vietnamese and hispanic and Karen families in our neighborhood. There are huge gatherings that go on and on sometimes. People use their front steps–just live in the front yards more. Our next door neighbors were shocked that there were just six of us moving into our house, which had housed close to twenty before! This is a house that certain in-laws may think is depriving the children.
Think of an art gallery opening, with people milling around, looking at pictures.
Lisa G. says
I am suddenly thinking that a large, heavy-bottomed pot on the stove would surely have done the trick as well as a crockpot, and more quickly – even at a low setting. But it all sounds so nice and simple. And so many came!
Ashley says
Thank you for sharing! I love that you kept it simple. Hosting does not come naturally to me and when I do have people over I have a tendency to want to go overboard (which in turn makes me stressed out leading up to it).
Toni says
I love the bring your own mug idea! We are having a birthday party for my just turned 7 year old daughter and we called it a “cocoa and cake” party to make it a little simpler. She loved the idea, and so do I!
Emily D. says
I am doing this this year with my SIL! We will make the milk chocolate coca in the crock pot, and then she’s bringing her s’mores kit (she loves s’mores), and we’ll have a few things to eat (fruit, and a cake). But it’s going to be a small party and I’m really excited about it!