~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~
Every Thursday, here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
First order of business, things I have to tell you:
I will be in Wichita next week!
Will you be there? It is in the exact center of the continental United States, as the Chief keeps telling me, so you have no excuse not to come! Thursday, 7:00 pm, in the Dugan Gorges Conference Room of Newman University. I will be speaking on Order and Wonder in the Christian Family. There will be time for “Ask Auntie Leila” afterwards, as well as a chance to buy The Little Oratory and have me sign it if you like.
I will also be in Houston next month. I am staying a whole week. I'm speaking twice at Our Lady of Walsingham Parish, and I hope to see you there! I know Houston is big, so if your parish, radio station, mothers' group, homeschooling group, couples' group, or what have you is looking for a speaker, let me know. I will be busy with the talks I am giving, not to mention cuddling Freddie, so if you think you can swing it, contact me soon.
Yesterday I posted starting to establish ritual and courtesy at the dinner table.
Working on these two aspects will help you with what I know is the trial of figuring out what the family will eat, shopping, and preparing meals — all in a timely and frugal manner (how do I know? Because I always find it tricky as well!).
I will be answering comments, but I just want to remind you that I have lots of posts about all the particulars. Not only Making Menus (plus shopping), Being Efficient About It and Not Worrying, but also Disciplining the Children, Giving them Chores, Why and How to eat Dinner Together, Including the Barbarians You Live With (with the best tip of all for really enjoying dinner-time conversation!), Quelling Picky Eaters, and Even How to Eat Together When They Get Older and So Busy. I may not have downloadables, printables, and flashy graphics, but I really think that my methods help you find peace while whipping everyone into shape building your community of life and love.
Here's the thing. If you and your husband work on training and commanding just a wee bit of respect from the children (and each other), you will find that the details of how to do it fall into place. Not easily, and not all at once. But little by little! Why? Because, being respected and released from affirmation-seeking, you will have the confidence to do your job.
Today is the Feast of St. Gregory.
We chose him as the patron for our “Pockets” because in him we find the model for being a faithful person in the midst of the world, with all its woes — not to be overcome by the darkness but to be a light for others. He stands for beauty, music, rescuing those enslaved, and taking Christ to the city — as well as living a life of prayer and union with Our Lord, St. Benedict-style. I think he's the perfect solution for the Benedict vs. Dominic Optioners (withdraw or go forth?), and I plan to develop my very own Gregory Option to convince you. Meanwhile…
That reminds me to remind you:
That earlier this summer, Deirdre encouraged you to have your St. Greg's Pocket meetings and take pictures! I hope you have been doing that, but if you forgot, you have a week to take them and send them to us. She's going to post about it shortly after Labor Day and she will include your snapshots if you like! So don't be shy — go ahead and have an “in real life” get-together with some like-minded people (all women, all men, couples, during the day with kids running around, in the evening over a glass of wine — up to you!).
I know that for most of you school has started and you are busy. But quick — have a meeting — this Labor Day Weekend maybe? and plan what you will do this fall. Read a series from the blog? A Church document? A great book? Will you go apple picking? Just hang out? Send us a shapshot!
I thought I'd make my {pretty, happy, funny, real} this week about pictures from our Pocket meetings — this one happened not to have very many ladies there, which gave me the chance to snap a couple of pictures — there've been times we've had a driveway gridlock of vans and Suburbans! You can see that regardless, there is a veritable horde of children running around.
We're reading The Spirit of the Liturgy by Joseph Ratzinger (who became Pope Benedict XVI of course), and our discussions have been intense, lively, and inspiring.
{pretty, happy, funny}
{funny}
The Chief, in particular, gets a kick out of the Suburban line-up.
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Mrs. B. says
Poor Auntie Leila, she must read some of our comments and sigh: What does she mean she has no idea how to do this/that?? I’ve written at least three times about this/that!!
Thank you for being so patient with your readers 🙂
I’ve worked my way through the Education posts, it seems a good idea now to re-tackle the Dinner Together section! One good thing about reading old posts is that we have all the comments there: maybe the first time we missed some conversations going on in the comments, but now we can read everything.
Leila says
Mrs. B thank you 🙂
kristina b says
The new post on dinner together was absolutely perfect for me right now – I’m really glad you’re revisiting some of these topics a little bit and rounding out the earlier advice! We’ve now had two quite nice dinners as a family (with a toddler and a baby!) just by me thinking ahead a bit more about preparing the table and establishing some ground rules of conduct. Just think how much better it’ll get when I finally get the other half of the table cleared off and find my matches again for the candle that hopefully resides there!
Lisa G. says
I look forward to that Gregory Option – sounds intriguing.
Rozy says
I got a kick out of the Suburban line up too. We can add ours to it! Big, safe vehicles for big families; what else can one expect? Thanks for all you share to encourage us in our roles and responsibilities. Even though we, my husband and I, are almost empty nesters, I appreciate having a place where someone has written down all I know and feel about being a wife, mother and homemaker so I can refer others here to learn and be encouraged also.
Kristi says
Auntie Leila, you are a continuing inspiration; thank you. I forgot to take a picture of our little St. Greg’s Pocket when we met for coffee this summer (or even to ask the other ladies if a photo would have been OK!), but just know that there are probably more of us out there than will be able to send pics! 🙂 I really enjoyed the meeting and the group is planning another one at the end of this month. One of the women in our group had the great idea of bringing a book (or a list of a few books) you are currently reading and would recommend to the others in the group. This made for some great discussions and took the pressure off of everyone to read something particular by a deadline — in case this idea is helpful for others! It was also nice to discuss questions of culture without feeling the pressure to conform to a currently popular worldview — a safe place to (charitably) tackle a few common issues in conversation.
Leila says
Kristi, that’s a great idea — to have a list of books. So you mean like from the Library Project? http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org/category/lmld-library-project/
Note that we have added a separate page for the book lists we recommend, especially for finding books for the children that will challenge them, capture their imaginations, and delight. These lists have books that are all golden! The 1000 Good Books.
http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org/indispensable-book-lists/
Maurisa says
I love the Saint Greg’s Pocket idea! How lovely! In our community in MD, it wasn’t lined up suburbans, but 12 and 14 passenger vans! Lol!
Anamaria says
If I wasn’t so tired from this pregnancy, I’d drive up to Wichita! Wish I could!
Valerie says
Your backyard is amazing…and the Suburban line-up is impressive. We just retired our Suburban of 12 years. It was dubbed the Bishop-mobile because we once gave a ride to our bishop. :o)
Stephanie says
I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many Suburbans in one place – one can see why “the Chief” gets such a kick out of it! Thank you for the (as always) lovely post and encouragement. I look forward to reading your further thoughts on St. Gregory, too!
On a note related to the concept of the “St. Greg’s Pockets,” I’m also wondering whether you or any readers might have ideas of saints who are patrons of themes related to friendship – I’m having trouble wording that clearly, but basically, I value my friendships a great deal, but find that at this time, many of my close friends are geographically scattered, and I am trying to cultivate better habits and a greater ability to stay in touch with these friends who live far away, such that the ties of our friendships can be strong despite the distance. I have tried to research saints who are patrons of … anything related to that… friendship, correspondence, so forth … but have not yet been successful in my search, so I thought I’d leave a note here and see if any wiser contributors have ideas for such spiritual guidance!
Thank you kindly! 🙂 Wishing all a good weekend, and a good holiday to all in the U.S.! And blessings and best wishes to “Auntie Leila” for the upcoming speaking engagements!
Leila says
Hmm, Stephanie, that’s an interesting question.
For sure, St. John the Evangelist would be one patron for friendship.
Others that occur to me are Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, because clearly Jesus Himself enjoyed being with them and just relaxing there in Bethany. I always think that that’s where He went to refresh Himself with human friendship!
What do you think?
Stephanie says
Dear “Auntie Leila,”
Thank you so much for your kind reply and excellent suggestions.
Your ideas led me to read up further on St. John the Evangelist, about whom, it turns out, there was much I did not know. I was not raised Catholic, and while I have trusted in the Communion of Saints as long as I can recall, I feel humbled and in wonder at the thought of calling on such a holy model of faithful friendship for guidance in maintaining my own friendships! But then, I suppose that is just the sort of guidance I’m looking for. (Does this make sense? I’m not sure I’m finding all the right words to express this idea, but these are adequate, at least, though not exact.)
Anyway, thank you for your continual example and encouragement to all your readers, and thank you for your suggestions and answers to our many questions! They are much appreciated! 🙂
Stephanie says
(And I have always loved Martha’s story as well – there are lots of us who continually need to learn from her, I think!) 🙂
Leila says
So true, Stephanie — I’ve always thought that the scenes that take place in Bethany have extra meaning for us moms.
God bless!
Meaghan says
Auntie Leila will be in Houston! How exciting! But when?
Leila says
Meaghan, I will be in Houston from Oct 4 to the 11th. Check this page for updates on where you can find me:
http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org/speaking/
Woman of the House says
Loved the pictures and the suggestion of Tilex! Brilliant idea!
Susan Husband says
I have been reading your blog for years, and am beyond delighted that you will be visiting Wichita this week. I am very much looking forward to hearing you speak! I will be praying for safe travels for you!