For some of you, this is going to be a post like the one about taking a shower. You are not going to believe that there is anyone who doesn't know the things I am going to tell you. I mean, they are not actually secrets.
So you can go relax with a book while I have a little chat with the others.
Also, it's going to be long — and filled with talk of vomit, fair warning.
It's pretty much a whole chapter in my (very virtual) book. When you have read this post you will practically be able to skip that part. I have tried to keep things snappy but of course that doesn't work too well for me. I am trying to tell you all the things I wished I had known at the beginning!
The key learning: Stop what you are doing and mother your sick child. I will tell you how.
It's just that the collective memory has failed us when it comes to the ordinary, common-sense care of sick people.
I've seen too many impractical moms not taking care of their sick children. Not that they are neglectful on purpose! They simply don't know what to do. They seem surprised that their normally active one is flopping about, cranky, and/or lacking energy to do anything for himself. They go about their business in what seems to me an oddly detached way watching from afar the pitiful thing. I think the detachment is born of helplessness.
Their approach is simply to continue along with whatever they had planned, treating the illness as something on the margins, to be dealt with only when absolutely necessary. Only if they themselves succumb do they stop what they are doing.
Or there are the parents who rush to the ER or doctor at every sign of illness. That's not necessary either!
If anyone is suddenly very sick with severe vomiting, diarrhea, and fever, they need to go to the Emergency Room right away. If a person has trouble breathing and their tissues become bluish, they need to go to the ER. If a person's pulse is faint, they lose consciousness, or there are signs of dehydration such as extreme thirst, little urination, or sunken eyes, they need to go to the ER. In what follows I am not talking about this kind of severe illness. It's worth it to read up on what constitutes emergencies. Call the doctor if you need help figuring things out. You have to have good judgment or it will be impossible to be a good parent!
You know, when our children are sick, we have a wonderful opportunity to serve them in a completely different way from the way they are used to. We can take a break from all the demands of daily life — demands which include prying them away from love of self, encouraging them to serve others and take responsibility — and just take care of them. Rather than viewing this part of motherhood as a stressful chore that reveals our incompetence, we can see it as a real blessing — when we know what to do.
Of course it's sad for a child to be sick!
Mothers do so many things, including being nurses!
But — we have to learn how to do the right thing, and even professional nurses don't give us a clue. Some might assume we already know the tricks of the trade, and don't bother mentioning them. Others might not know themselves, as it seems to me that this very practical, day-to-day side of nursing, which is really an extension of mothering, is being lost.*
For instance, a few years back, Bridget had what turned out to be Lyme Disease. She was achy, feverish, and miserable. I took her to the doctor's office, suspecting something more serious than a flu, and they ran tests. As we were getting ready to leave, the nurse asked me, “Is she going back to school today?”
That question, delivered with utmost neutrality and even expectation of a positive answer — about a child with a temperature the nurse herself had measured at 103 — encapsulates an attitude that frustrates me so!
Sickness isn't an irritating interruption at which you throw magical pills, hoping for a quick cure. You don't ask the sick person to bear the brunt of your plans, your schedule, your routine. This, my friends, is why a child needs a mother — so that he doesn't spend the day in the nurse's office at school, huddled feverishly in a chair. Not to mention potentially infecting large numbers of people!
So what are these procedures that put you in control of the situation, rather than leaving you at its mercy, helpless and without a guide?
I will tell you. As always, adapt what I have done and what I tell you to your situation. I'll try to give you the big picture with the little details. It's up to you to change what you need to for your circumstances.
1. Establish a place near you for the sick one. I suggest the sofa (during the day; on a mattress on your floor at night for a very young child).
The Best Remedy for anything that ails anyone — regardless of severity, and even when drastic measures must be taken by trained personnel — is rest and good nourishment. The body needs to take a break from working to keep itself going at high speed, maintaining warmth, and supplying energy for bursts of activity.
However, children (and plenty of adults as well) do not usually know to stop their activity. They will just keep running around until they collapse — we call this Dying Fly Syndrome (DFS). Have you ever noticed a dying fly? Unlike flies in the prime of their lives, the dying fly buzzes loudly, hurls itself off of windows and walls, and generally makes its presence known until it suddenly expires in the onion dip.
DFS is often seen even in healthy times as the rising level of frantic energy right before bedtime. Some parents wait for the child to hit his head on something so he will cry and they can put him to bed! Better to just have a bedtime.
Likewise, with sickness, DFS manifests itself in increased activity. But the wise parent steps in.
You, the mom, need to be the alpha — the implementer of the Standard Operating Procedure (SOP), when it dawns on you that your child is not himself in one way or another.
Now put him on the sofa so he is handy for that Best Remedy (rest and nourishment if he can take it).
In our house, it's the sofa, not bed (during the day). Bed is too far away when you
a. Aren't sure what is wrong with him and need to keep an eye on him while you figure it out.
b. Are pregnant, nursing a baby, or otherwise need to jump up a thousand times for other things. If he's way off in his bedroom, that's too tiring for you.
c. Have a sickie who's so little that you have to check him all the time; and bed is too lonely for him. Even an 18-month-old can get tucked into the sofa.
d. Can't quite convince him that he's sick. Bed then becomes too much of a commitment on everyone's part. Better to just stop there on the sofa.
The advantage to this step of the SOP when the first signs of illness appear:
If he's not sick, not much will keep them there. Being on the sofa for more than 30 minutes just isn't going to work unless he's really sick! So it's a good and loving way to filter the mere complainers from the actually ailing. “Oh, you say you don't feel well? Poor thing! Here, let me get you comfy on the sofa.” Take his temp. Far better than forcing a sick child to prove himself so with a breakdown.
Needless to say, this phase of the SOP — applying the BR and seeing how it goes — must be undertaken with no electronic stimulation of any kind. No TV, shows, movies, games. Just the kid on the sofa. (Only deploy the show if it's necessary to glue him there at first. But try to do without.)
If he is sick, not much will get him up. Your dynamo will suddenly wind down, pathetically submitting to treatment. It's like turning off a switch to have him there. And you will know that you were right.
First of all — cancel your plans. Yes, even if it means losing the deposit on the reservation for the birthday party venue. Maybe you can freeze the cake for later, I don't know. But it is not acceptable to power on through when your child is sick.
The BR (Best Remedy, remember) offers Rest in a Nest.
On the sofa you will make a nest. Get a blanket or two, a pillow, a pile of books. Make sure he's warm (if he's hot from a fever he won't tolerate the blankets and you will know — even so, keep him out of drafts). Insist he stay in the nest.
Once this SOP is normal — indeed, standard — in your home, the children will submit without a murmur. Just keep at it. Insist on that 30 minutes. Yes, the under-two will need you most of the time. But the sofa means that you can at least get up to do a few things when he conks, and still have him right there, propped with pillows and safe as a bug in a rug, or transferred to an equally comfy nest on the actual rug, if you think he'll roll off the sofa.
You will find that as your family grows, you need multiple sofas! We once had a flu that had two persons on each of four sofas, one at either end. We were darned sick. The advantage was that it was a kind of ward. The one healthy person (Sukie!) could efficiently administer ginger ale to all.
2. Know the kinds of sicknesses.
a. Barfing and/or diarrhea.
b. Far, far better: Non-barfing.
For just normal (even awful) sicknesses, here's my take.
You will get to know the Warning Signs of each.
For the barfing kind, your child will, best case scenario, tell you his tummy hurts. Worst case, he will give you no warning, but look you at you blankly and then hurl.
Sorry about that.
Pippo says, “My sides hurt.”
My kids would say, “My mouth tastes funny.”
Or he will not seem interested in food (and here is a good reason not to insist that a child eat everything on his plate, but only one bite of each item).
Or he will be all too interested in food (a sad but known side-effect of a weird feeling in your stomach is to want to throw food down your throat, the results of which are not pleasant when the real cause makes itself known).
Or something — something that you will learn to recognize, hopefully in time. Rosie calls it “the tell” — for Pippo, it's that he wants to snuggle! Which he really doesn't, ever. Unless he needs to barf, apparently! Yikes.
If it's a barfing sickness, get a basin handy. Dump the contents of the basin in the toilet and wash the basin out with hot water and cleanser — you can use the tub. Dry with a rag towel. (I explain all the things below.) If the child is old enough and can make it to the bathroom, help him and clean him and it up after. Everyone needs a sympathetic cooling hand on the brow when they are barfing.
Rosie pointed out: if your kid is throwing up, roll up the rugs in front of the sofa/next to the bed if at all possible. It is much easier to do this than to clean barf out of a rug. In general, it really pays to take a few minutes to figure out your hierarchy of barf locations, and how to maximize your chances of an easy cleanup.
My sister-in-law would tell her kids to “get down low,” in an effort to minimize the collateral damage if they really couldn't make it to a basin or bathroom. One time her son called her from upstairs: “I feel sick!” “Get down low!” He ran to the top of the stairs, the better to communicate with her, and, stooping low, barfed down the entire flight.
So yeah. That's life.
Do not feed a barfing person. The stomach has to rest completely! Sometimes this takes hours. As long as he isn't getting dehydrated to the extent outlined above, it's better to just let him be until the stomach stops seizing, even if he can't drink for a while. Then, once the barfing has stopped, give watery fruit juice, weak sweetened tea (no milk), or ginger ale a spoonful at a time with 20 minutes in between spoonfuls to make sure it's all staying down.
Then introduce the bland diet, little by little. Go slowly or you will regret it!
{By the way, there is a certain kind of vomit that comes not from a stomach bug but from too much mucus in the stomach. It's worthwhile to learn the difference — it has to do with how the contents look and how the person feels other than the one or occasional episode. Teach your child to blow his nose, not sniff down the mucus. You can put a little dab of eucalyptus ointment under his nose — it helps clear the passages and loosen things up. A child who vomits for this reason will often be hungry afterwards, and doesn't need a bland diet.}
If it's a different, non-barfing kind of sickness, you will know by the hot hands of feverishness, glittery eyes, papery, flushed cheeks or else too-pale complexion, congestion, and clear fluid coming out of the nose. For these sufferers, it will be days with tissues, a wastebasket, and their food on a tray. They can eat what they want, what everyone else is eating. Right there on the sofa. (Sometimes we would join the sickie to keep him company, or send a delegation.) Ice cream helps and is, indeed, medicinal.
Someone who is sick for a long time will probably want to watch some shows or otherwise have what we call “mindless entertainment.” This post's comments have some good suggestions! But if you allow this, keep it within limits. The buzziness of the TV can make headaches worse and strain sick eyes. Insist that screens be turned off for a good bit of the day so that peace and quiet reigns and real rest occurs. It's quite normal for a sick person to spend a good part of the day asleep! It's good for them.
3. Have on hand the things you need. Time will teach you. My suggestions:
Blankets — every family room needs a few quilts and lap blankets for normal comfort. These get a good workout when sickness strikes! But children also appreciate their own baby blanket or quilt to be brought down to them when they are sick. It's a signal of the SOP that they are tucked in on the sofa with their blanket. A sick person needs to be kept warm, because the body can't do its normal thing. Often the worst thing about being sick is how chilled you feel. Until you get so hot… and then the blanket can just be set aside.
Have the child wear pjs or other comfy clothing. Take off buckles and belts and other poky items. The best thing is to have two layers: an underwear t-shirt and another cotton top.
Pillows –after you determine he's really sick, get his own bed pillow for him. That way, he can be really comfortable and even go to sleep, which will be the best thing for him.
Paper towels and paper tissues. Seriously. This is a note for my seriously earthy-crunchy, old-fashioned, thrifty friends. I love you but these things are here for a reason and this is it. Germs.
Old towels — towels wear out. Keep a stash of these (not near your newer ones, because for some reason everyone reaches for the ratty ones, so embarrassing) for a sick person (also for drying the dog after a bath and wiping up the quart of apple juice that spills in the kitchen). If it's a barfing sickness, a rag bath towel can go under the child in case of non-contained night-time vomiting — you will save many a sheet change by popping an old towel under a kid.
Barfer, as we call it — basin — I use those pink plastic basins that you take home from the hospital after you have a baby. They are not cute and I'm sure you could rustle up something cuter, but besides just being free and there and stackable, they are rectangular. Somehow there's more coverage with something that goes right across the body, versus a bowl, which curves dangerously outwards from the zone of horror. Get it out at the first sign of distress, put it away after having washed it out with hot soapy water when things are better.
Disposable plastic cups — there is a stage in the stomach bug where all that's coming up is just a little bile — not much volume. It's so worth it to supply plastic cups and just throw them away as needed. I hear from Rosie that the Duggars do this. “I imagine if you had, say, 19 barfing kids, it would be especially clutch.”
Washcloths and more basins — a person who is too feverish to spend time in the bathroom needs to be wiped down with a nice, warm soapy washcloth at least twice a day, at least, and rinsed off. If the fever is high, the water should be cool. You need a basin (not the same as the barfing one) to do this job properly.
Old sheets — also helpful for lining the sofa or bed, folded over. If the worst happens and everyone is sick at once, you can spare yourself bed changes by placing a folded over sheet over the results — usually quite minimal — of the millionth barf. Yes, of course, no one should lie in a dirty bed. But if you can't stand upright because you yourself are so sick, this will get you through the night. Been there, done that.
Basic medicines — You need the basics of children's ibuprofen, acetaminophen, antihistamine, eucalyptus ointment, and cough drops. Get those zinc cough drops and deploy them, along with a dose of ibuprofen, at the first sign of sore throat of the kind that comes from a post-nasal drip and inflamed uvula. You can often stave off an illness this way. I've tried it many times and it works.
Humidifier — get a hot mist humidifier for coughs. The cold mist kind is fairly useless. When someone has a respiratory illness, the nighttime room needs to be steamy.
Tray — a folding tray helps for meals. When you are achy and feverish, you are hungry but just can't sit up at the table.
Ginger ale and bland diet items — have a supply of the things you will need in the pantry and freezer. Regular ginger ale doesn't have ginger in it, but does have high fructose corn syrup — which stinks! If you can, find the natural kind that isn't too spicy. Then hide it from the cocktail makers!
4. Let the default be to stay there on the sofa — even for days — until proven better. What is proof? See #1 — not much can keep them there! And the fever is gone.
5. Many times, sheer boredom leads the person to think he is improved. If so, time to clean up – give him a bath, have him take a shower — but take a wait-and-see attitude. Be wary of holding the birthday party after all. Get him back on the sofa afterwards to see how things are going if you are at all in doubt. It's terrible to head out too soon and end up sick again!
If, after another spell on the sofa, he's not better, at least he's clean. If he is better, at least he's clean.
Use the opportunity to change bedding, do a load of towels in hot water, vacuum the room, and generally get things back to normal. Sometimes there's a relapse, but even so, it's nice to have things spruced up, because being on the sofa can feel grubby after a while (and in fact is grubby).
Taking care of a sick person is work. You have to give up on your plans. Things pretty much come to a standstill. There's a reason for that, you know. Being sick is part of life, and we have to know how to deal with it. It has its benefits, though. Many a child has learned to love reading from being sick on the sofa for a long time.
Siblings take care of each other, play quiet games, and rest together. Mothers and fathers show their caring in ways they can't, in the normal routine.
It can be bad, but it can be good, too. You are a missionary of love, and your field is your home!
There you go! Okay, I can't make this any longer. What tried-and-true tips do you have for mothering your sick children? Let us know!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* {I love my nurse friends. I know that many of our readers are nurses and wonderful ones at that. But nurses are so overworked with the process demanded of them in the modern hospital (and even doctor's office) that they just don't have time for certain things. In our stay at Children's, I was the one who had to bathe my Bridget's face, help her brush her teeth, and make her comfortable in so many ways. Her dear nurses spent a hefty chunk of their time in the room on the computer, filing notes. Her roommates didn't have those things done for them either, nor did I hear anyone encourage the parents to do these important yet utterly basic elements of care. When you don't have time for something, you don't do it, and then soon you forget how to do it or that it's important at all — and so does everyone else. I doubt that those things are considered nursing care at all any more. So forgive me for pointing this out. I'm sure there are exceptions.}
Sweetness says
Ye old puke bucket, how I DO NOT miss you #kidsoldenoughtogettoBR
Erin says
My parents brought us the mop bucket (and swooshed it with a kettle full of boiling water after).
Morgan says
Thank you, thank you, thank you! When I was growing up it often seemed like my mom was the only mom around who sent us to the couch when sick and would cancel plans for a low grade fever. I never ever resented her for it because it really was the right thing to do. Now that I have a growing family of my own, I’ve been following in my mom’s footsteps. I can’t believe how many people I know who drag their sick kids everywhere – getting everyone elses kids sick.
Thank you also for explaining DFS. I had to laugh very quietly so as not to wake the napping babies – but that was hilarious.
amkuska says
Agreed, although I can’t blame the parents for thinking that’s what you do. My school sent my son a delinquency notice because he missed a week of school, with doctor’s notes explaining the situation, because he had the flu! So sorry I didn’t infect all the other kiddies so he could ‘learn’ something by blowing snot and germs all over everyone else.
bea says
Maybe you should teach me how to take a shower. I now see that all these years, I have been the terrible mother you describe at the beginning. My mother was a wonderful mother but sticking us in bed without entertainment except for homework, was her way to see how sick we were. If we stayed, we were sick. If we asked to go back to school, we were not so sick. Even though, as a child, I remember yearning for some tenderness and attention, I followed straight into her footsteps! 9 children later, you have open my eyes and I have decided to start a new collective memory! Thank you!
Kelly says
Were we raised by the same mother? lol! I second the comment about Edith Schaeffer’s book ‘What Is a Family?’ In it she writes: “A family is a well-regulated hospital, a nursing home, a shelter in time of physical need, a place where a sick person is greeted as a sick human being and not as a machine that has a loose bolt, or a mechanical doll that no longer works – to be shoved aside because it is no more fun, nor is it useful!” She goes on to list very practical and loving ways to nurse those under our care. I think I need to reread it, as recently, my daughter was ill and yet I somehow convinced her that she was well enough to do math and Latin, when I really should have just nursed her. Thanks for the reminder I didn’t realize I needed Leila!
Mrs. B. says
This is what is most depressing to me about motherhood: when we realize we’ve relied on methods used on us that we disliked back then, and now we see we’ve been doing the same… Why is that? Example is a powerful teaching tool, it seems, and habits, even of thinking, and even bad ones, are hard to break.
Leila says
bea — I DID teach you how to take a shower! 😉
http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org/2010/01/how-to-take-shower-come-back-when-you/
Kathy@9peas says
Brilliant as usual, having been a Mom who figured most of this out the hard way (yes, I do everything wrong 3 or more times until it suddenly all clicks and the wisdom of mistakes sets in, not quite the same as being actually wise but still yields good results.)
I genuinely appreciate your sharing what should be passed down but sadly isn’t anymore. Such great and loving advice and it does feel like it is coming from a beloved Auntie.
GramiePamie says
Your shower post is my all-time favorite!! This is a close second. I have a saying when stating the obvious that, “You have to tell some people everything!” This is true, and I’m relieved that you have accepted the responsibility to impart. Really – so necessary!! Your points about placing a hold on the schedule and caring for the sick individual are VERY needed. And I am very validated to know that someone else recognizes the medicinal effects of ice cream. Maybe we need a research grant?
Marta says
I’m wondering how long to quarantine the healthy ones? We’ve had a rough go this winter with at least one person down with this or that for the past 7 weeks.
With the first very virulent wave of flu, I kept all the kiddos home from church, piano, etc. not wanting to spread the message, so to speak. But that’s no way to live. So now the healthy olders are at church while I attend to a barfing toddler (who will NOT stay on the couch unless nursing. Sigh.)
Is this irresponsible nay unchristian, or do we let life go on and hope for the best?
Marta says
Update: 4 year barfed 2x at church. 9 year feeling uncertain. Both have been couched and are woozily reading I Spy and Mrs. Pigglewiggle.
Bad call, me!
Elise says
I so appreciate the wisdom and practical applications of this post! I have nothing to add but that a compassionate mama has the great privilege of breeding compassionate children, when she ministers to them in their weakness in the ways you suggest. I’ve met many a young mama who has no time or patience for her sick children and the disruption they are in her day, and every time, she has a mother just like her.
Oh, and one more thing… I love to put together a “Sick Box” for my children once the thirty minute test has proven that the illness is for real and here to stay; for my girl, I collect special sick day books that I keep tucked away for just these occasions (Barbara Cooney (“Only Opal” can definitely make a sick girl not feel so sorry for herself!), Wendy Anderson Halperin, Cynthia Rylant… soothing pictures and stories, always), a small vase of flowers if possible, some lip balm, toothpicks for Pooh sticks, etc. And my boys love the set of Tintins that I tuck into their Sick Box. 🙂 Audio stories we can all enjoy! Bone broth in a special sick day mug! So many loving ideas…
As you said, illness in the home and the yuckiness that comes with it can be bad, but it can bring goodness, too. Purposing to be a compassionate mama pays wonderful dividends even in our own spirits, but especially in our children and others who are observing our care. Such a gift!
Melissa Diskin says
Thanks so much for these book recs! Perfect for a sick day.
Elise says
You are so welcome! This is our favorite sick-day book by Karin Cates: http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Remedy-Book-Comfort-Great-Great-Grandmothers/dp/0439352266/ref=la_B001HCWXCI_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1422417089&sr=1-1
Barbara McClintock, Jane Yolen, Charlotte Zolotow, just to name a few more… 🙂
Melissa Diskin says
in my Amazon cart now. 🙂 …I discovered this morning that my local Goodwill had tripled their children’s shelves — I ended up with 21 hardbacks, including some really fabulous ones, by Charlotte Zolotow and others. And a Twelve Days of Christmas book by Hilary Knight that is just delightful My sick-day stash needs its own bookshelf!
Elise says
Yay! Nicely done! 🙂 (P.S. – have you ever read Hilary Knight’s “Cinderella”? Exquisite!!!)
Melissa D says
Yes! We have nearly all HK’s books. 🙂
Lindsey in AL says
I love the things that Edith Schaeffer about taking care of sickies. This reminds me of that a lot 🙂
All six of mine came down with the barfing on our way home from our first ever real, only for a vacation and not because someone has died or is getting married, BEACH VACATION. It seemed to last forever. Thankfully we have a gigantic sectional. They actually got tired of watching TV.
Katie says
Is it just me or do some kids have an inability to make it to the bathroom? My oldest has still not mastered this (at age 7.5) while some of my younger kids give warning! It seems like so often, the “first puke” comes in the night. There have been times I have a premonition before bed and I line towels by the foot of their bed so that I’m not scrubbing carpets. My mother still has a war story about one of my brothers puking from the top bunk onto the hardwood floor – she was still finding splatter spots much later after she thought she had it cleaned. The part that always gets me with the throwing -up flu is that my son could be puke-free for several days and then relapse. So I feel like I need to use a lot of caution with our “re-entry” when it comes to him. Now that my oldest children are in school, I am trying to navigate the common cold. Often it comes with no fever and it is just so tricky to figure out when to send them back to school. I’ll have them zooming through the house at home where I can’t keep them on the couch, and then I send them back to school and the nurse is calling me! This was so simple to handle when we were all home, but I feel like a new mom all over again with this!
Barbara says
Great advice, Aunt Leila, and I know many of your readers don’t understand the concept of stopping what you’re doing and tending to the sick child, because I encounter so many people who are out — shopping, playing, going to Mass — and they are really truly sick, or their kids are really truly sick, the kind of sick that would have had me in bed as a child. Why is it our society doesn’t want to stop and rest when they are sick? Do they really think what they have going on is so important, or is it a fear of being non-productive? I’d love to know because I encounter a lot of sick people and I’m not even out that much. Just this past Sunday at Mass a woman in front of me said she didn’t want to extend her hand (and I was grateful!) at the sign of peace because she was sick — and I could tell she was very sick. Why was she at Mass?
My only additions to your suggestions are good soup broth — no noodles or vegetables until the stomach is really healed (or it’s a respiratory illness). And I have a sick box stored away for the winter with ginger ale and lemon lime soda, anti-diarrheal medicine, crackers, canned soup (in case mom is sick, too), and gatorade or pedialyte. I have heard spoonfuls of juice from a can of fruit every 30 minutes works, but never tried it. I always told my children to stay in bed when they were vomiting, because they invariably missed and we ended up with a trail of vomit in the hall on the way to the bathroom. We use ginormous plastic bowls that are relegated for just sickness. The bowl on top of a covering of towels usually covers all. Towels on the floor for unreliable, or sometimes delirious sickies.
I hope you’re working on a book! 🙂
Ngofamilyfarm says
We recently encountered a very sick family sitting behind us during Mass as well. I think our priest once mentioned that it is an act of charity to remain home on Sunday when you are indeed sick and may pass it along to others!
Lisa G. says
When I’m throwing up, I take small sips of water periodically. I’ve found that barfing up water is far preferable to the dry heaves. I didn’t do this as a child, though, and am not sure a youngster would be able to appreciate this.
Bethanne says
I know this probably seems silly, but I have had to learn it. When taking care of my own children who are sick, I must, must remember to keep my own hands washed, to eat foods that nourish, and to drink lots of water, even when not nursing. Whenever I am lax about any, I find myself coming down with things I think I may have avoided if I had taken care of myself while caring for my children–especially if I am up at night with a child and not getting rest.
Elizabeth says
I remember feeling so loved and cared for when I would be home sick on the couch-exactly like you described Auntie Leila! One tip I wanted to add–at the first sign that we would be on the couch for awhile, my mom would braid our hair. This is a MUST for girls with longer hair. Laying on pillows all day leads to badly tangled hair, especially if the sick child can’t properly bathe for a couple days.
Shannon Miller says
And it’s so helpful if they start throwing up to have their hair pulled back out of the way! A soft braid is just much more comfortable for laying around than sweaty hair in your face when you’re feverish. What a wonderful tip!
Mama Turtle says
I love your post. I am obviously in the trenches of this situation, so to speak…
All winter long, I leave the sand buckets and beach towels accessible. When the stomach bug hits, I keep all of the poor sick children on the couch. I put a comforter (NOT A SHEET – too thin!!! Learned that the hard way!) on the couch, and each kid has a big sand bucket with their name on it. I actually prefer the buckets only because my crazy children have actually tried to carry their basins around the house and then it just spills everywhere. Bucket doesn’t splash as much as the basin. The beach towels are used for clean up and around the couch or on top of it if the comforter is soiled:) Or near their beds at night since the bedrooms are carpeted.
Whatever time someone throws up is what time the laundry starts even if it’s 2am. You can always rewash it if it sits in the washing machine too long, but you can’t let it pile up, not even a little bit or it’s so gross. And again, that’s probably obvious to most people, but it wasn’t to me, lol.
Lysol Brand III kills almost any germ. So does bleach.
I also make a chart of who gets what medicine when. If you have a bunch of kids on antibiotics and motrin and breathing treatments at different times and dosages, it’s enough to make the mama’s head spin! There’s just no other way to keep track of it all. Especially if Mama is sick too 🙂
Finally, I will second and third SOP. As soon as I sense someone is just not themselves, we go into “low key” mode the rest of the day. I’ll clear the afternoon of activity, make sure the nappers get good naps, and the older kids get couch time. Housework gets put off. So much easier to nip colds in the bud if you think your kids are getting run down. And I do not know many other moms in real life who do this, they look at me like I’m nuts. I’ve skipped playdates, storytimes, birthday parties, all kinds of things when my children are run down (or when I am!) and I’ve heard several negative comments about it. Ack!
Melissa Diskin says
Sand buckets are genius! And cheap!
Rachel says
I have to agree with the medicine charts. Two of my children are asthmatic and one frequently has antibiotics for chest infections. Add in doses of paracetamol (acetaminophen) for one or two children, especially during the night when one is sleepy and you could easily overdose a child with that medication if care isn’t taken.
At Christmas the little one and I were on three inhalers each plus two antibiotics dosed at different intervals and oral steroids. The chart was vital.
Mamabearjd(Michelle) says
When I switched to cloth diapers after 2 kids, I made some generously sized changing mats, with chenille on one side and waterproof diaper fabric on the other (you’ll see it called pul). These are so awesome to tuck under a toilet trainee or the head of a barfing child. They work so much better than towels. They have been such a great investment of my time.
We might as well tell the younger moms that at some point, EVERYONE WILL BE BARFING AT ONCE, even mom and dad. Really that’s the only time where I feel like a big family is overwhelming.
Dish pans from the dollar store make good barf basins, and they nest when not used.
We have folding camping foam mattresses that we call sick beds, which are moved from living room to mom’s bedside at night. Sometimes I sleep down there right by them when they get so sick and weak.
I remember you advised on avoiding lots of stuffed animals on the bed, but sometimes they pile up with play and then you have vomit everywhere, on 10 stuffed animals, so there’s something to think about too.
I also learned the hard way to not allow an ill acting child sleep on the top bunk.
And Biokleen makes a cleaner called bac-out that really will remove vomit smell.
I’ll be reading for other tips. This may be as lively as the dishcloth post. 🙂
Melissa Diskin says
FANTASTIC advice (as usual!) I would definitely add:
– Put a plastic tablecloth under your child on the sofa and another down below on the floor in case of any radial wetness — our kids tend to vomit profusely and soak through even a triple layer of beach towels in seconds. So we make that bottom layer a plastic one. (I also have a waterproof mattress pad that got seriously ripped on one edge — I just clipped the rest of that elastic part off and now I have an even more plush waterproof pad. We tend to drape the cheap plastic tablecloths all over the sofa. Use 3! or 4! Just cover it ALL — they are only a few bucks at the drugstore.
– In case of a family epidemic…. line the path to the bathroom with towels. And we line our buckets/receptacles with a plastic grocery bag, a layer of paper towels to contain bile/wet goop in case the bag has a hole, another bag with paper towels, etc — however many layers you need! — because otherwise you’re taking out one gross basket with no time to hand even another one over before a kid vomits again. This way you just grab a bag with all the nasty stuff contained and the kid can keep the prepped bucket to hug until you come back.
– For a tummy bug, put whoever you can in Pullups. Sometimes violent barfing can… you know… make the other end your concurrent concern. So sad and horrible to clean up! The alternative could be those pee pads at the store… not quite as good but it’s something.
– My great-grandmother who went to med school a hundred years ago always said to drink a cup of very warm water if you were throwing up. She said it would help bring up the last bits of bile in one go, so that you weren’t retching endlessly with nothing coming up.
Martha says
Ain’t no shame in pull-ups!
After I have my babies, I wear adult diapers while I’m healing – and if I’m sick as well. Really – if I have a bad bug and am very weak, it’s better that than take chances and have astronomically more super yuck laundry.
Emily says
I love your common sense posts, because even those of us who were raised this way occasionally need to hear it! We just came off of two weeks of a really bad bug (and the baby cutting two teeth), and I have to admit that when I’ve been up multiple times a night with a feverish baby, cleaning up vomit, changing sheets, bathing someone who didn’t make it to the potty, etc, I’m not thinking clearly by morning. I found myself considering loading multiple sick children into the minivan just to return overdue books to the library. Honestly, a couple dollars in fines is worth not having to clean vomit out of a car! Fortunately, I came to my senses in time, but an overtired mom can do silly things because she’s not able to think clearly. Keep the common sense advice coming!
My question, though, is what do you do with all the germs in the couch after sick people have been cuddled there for days? I try to open all our windows and get in as much fresh air as possible, and I do wipe down hard surfaces and wash blankets and quilts and pillow covers and sheets, but I never know what to do with the down pillows themselves or the couch cushions.
Kari says
For germs on the couch, I usually put a sheet over the whole couch (under the sickie) so I can wash it after. I also have a slipcover on my couch all the time, so if I miss the sickness “warning,” I can still wash the germs off the slipcover.
That’s another good reason for having said child use his own pillow–then you can wash the pillowcase and not have to wash your throw pillows (unless, you need too….). I spray/mist some tea tree oil (diluted) on our down pillows and set them in the sun to hopefully decontaminate them, but it would be nice to have a clothesline so they’re not lying on the ground…
Lisa G. says
A friend of mine has lauded the virtues of steam cleaners to me for years. She says they kill mites on a pillow or mattress; maybe they would be good for the couch, too?
Kimberlee says
This is all great advice, Leila. Nursing as a profession has certainly changed drastically over the decades as well. It seems most physical care nowadays is delegated to nurse’s aides or even just relatives. My mother tells of her recent hospitalization in which she was handed a package of wipes for her daily washing up – apparently bed bath days are long gone. If you read vintage Cherry Ames you’ll find the nursing students back then actually had to learn to make puddings, sans lumps!
I would just add that if you have children prone to stomach bugs it’s worth it to always keep a plastic basin under each child’s bed. If the child seems in any way off or under the weather, the basin comes out and sits on the bed for the night, just in case. And always keep at least one basin and/or plastic bags in the car.
Barbara says
I find that so sad, Kimberlee. When my husband was working for a local Catholic hospital system the dean of the nursing school tried to talk me into going through the school. I said “No Way! I’d be happy to mop a brow, give a sponge bath,even empty bed pans, but nursing isn’t really nursing anymore. It’s checking and double checking rules and chasing doctors for orders and prescriptions. I’d just like to sit by some poor, sick person and read to them or offer a sip of water. Nobody does that anymore.
Ngofamilyfarm says
The birth of my first child was a traumatic, emergency-type situation, and I was in the hospital long enough to see the spectrum of nursing care. For the most part, I felt the nurses wanted to provide that old-style care, but the modern system was definitely prohibitive of this. I remember a very kind nurse (one that I pray can continue her excellent care without burning out) who washed my hair for me because I was not allowed to shower, and made sure she was there to help me get in the wheelchair every two hours so I could get to the NICU on time to nurse my new baby. It lifted my spirits so much, these simple (yet big!) things she did for me when I couldn’t do them for myself.
Stephanie in Germany says
When my youngest was hospitalized for almost 2 weeks, I , too, lived in the hospital. Nurses of my generation learned a totally different way of nursing than is practised today. Some are so discouraged and sad, because they see the sick children, many whose mothers can’t be there, and they don’t have time to care for them as is needed because of all the bureaucratic demands…..
Tiffany says
I had a similar experience and I guess I’m too young to realize that kind of care was once de riguer. Or however that’s spelled… thank you for this post and the lovely comments. We need a Mother’s Manual to help resurrect a bygone era. Auntie Leila? I’d buy ten in hardback and pass them out to friends, to be sure!
Kelly Sue says
Barbara – I feel the same way! My sister has a number of conditions, some of which have landed her in the hospital for weeks at a time. I know that her recovery from these episodes of hospitalizations were directly attributable to the care her daughters and I provided her. Anymore, when one becomes hospitaized, one really needs a patient advocate (read: concerned relative or friend) who can oversee the myriad of health personnel streaming in and out of the patient’s room. For crying out loud, the patient is oftentimes hardly capable of thinking ‘straight’ or projecting into the future! I know that the nursing staff (well, most of them) would like to be able to offer the kind of personal care for which a patient longs, but, alas, there’s ‘no time’. A patient on a prolonged stay becomes more of an object of disease processes than a human being who needs a back rub, her face washed -someone who needs to just have someone reassure her of her worth. I, too, would GLADLY give my time to other poor souls in need of someone just to be by his/her side – to read the paper to them, listen to their stories, get fresh water, wipe their brow, help with their bedside tray and the awkward task of eating in a hospital bed. I’m afraid of the trend (unspoken ) of patients becoming expendable, or at the least, discharged prematurely, based on their potential for recovery and contribution to the workforce.
We need to show our children that the world for us stops when they are ill, when they need us to be by that couch, tending to their needs. These times will be remembered by our children when we are old or unable to care for ourselves in some capacity. A mother tending to her sick child or children is a lesson in sacrificial love, to be recalled years later, the beneficiary of which is the mother herself.
Leila says
Kimberlee — exactly my thought — I remember reading Cherry Ames and Sue Barton, Student Nurse as a child. It seemed that they were extolled and praised not so much for their medical expertise (although, as you will remember, they applied many a tourniquet in dire emergencies — LOL!) as for their insight into the practical care each patient required.
When I was in the hospital for my intestinal trouble a couple of years ago, I was much interested in a nursing prof who came by to observe her students (it’s a teaching hospital). She seemed to step right out of the pages of those books, admonishing the young nurses with that same unbending demeanor that so struck fear in the hearts of Cherry and Sue! But kindly beneath it all, in true storybook fashion — and she made a few changes in my situation that my own nurses had overlooked.
I can only hope she was actually imparting her knowledge to her charges.
Kathia says
Oh this post brings back memories. This was how my mom cared for me. 🙂 A good German mother, she was amazing when it came to nursing sick people. I would add some of the things she did for me: Chamomile tea for stomach bugs, add lemon and honey for sore throats. Chicken soup, chicken soup, chicken soup!!!! I added a new thing for my own kids: echinacea tea for stomach bugs with a little brown sugar, add a *little* milk for sore throats. My kids call it “milk tea” and the older ones still ask for it when they feel really crummy. I started that when my 16 yr. old was two and read that echinacea boosted the immune system. But be careful… I also read it can be overdone and will weaken the immune system if taken too much! Do your own research.
Martha says
It’s such a gift to be nursed as a child…my mother was the best at nursing me when I was ill. To this day, when I’m not well, I miss her calm hand on my brow and her steady demeanor – it feels like everything’s going to be fine when my mother is here!
It’s hard to stay at home when you’d rather not – I felt so sad to miss Mass a month or so ago when my toddler got sick and so did I. But no one was going to get better by being dragged about ! It really is important to stay home when you’re really sick.
Dixie says
The worst thing about having sick kids is how it brings out my own selfishness. All I can think about is OH NO OH NO OH NO because I usually end up having to care for the sick kids (and sometimes husband) while also being very sick myself. I do try to offer it up, but I also want to make sure I’m not setting the example that a mother’s needs don’t matter and getting myself even sicker. Leila, do you have any more coping or self-care tips for when this happens? How do you take care of yourself when you are sick but you simply MUST be up and tending to others? Throw in a nursing baby and pretty soon you’ve exhausted yourself into at least a plugged duct, if not mastitis, which of course must be taken seriously.
Somehow it always seems that my husband comes home sick, collapses totally for a couple of days, and then the kids and I get sick at the same time once he is back at work (and so can’t help). I find myself driving the kids around in the car when we are all sick, just hoping that they will conk out and I will at least have peace and quiet, if not rest.
And what about when their napping in the day while sick means they don’t sleep at night? What do you do?
Clearly, I really need this post!!
Leila says
Dixie, after talking it over with the Chief, I think that you might think about a couple of things.
1. When you implement my Standard Operating Procedure, you will start to see ways to make things easier on yourself when there is sickness. Having everyone in the same room, comfy and cozy; lining up your simple sick meals; saving your steps where possible.
Sometimes you get sick as well, as you say. It’s all the more important that you are not running ragged trying to find basins, towels, etc but have thought it all out beforehand and are prepared.
2. Sometimes we don’t realize that because Dad gets sick last (or next to last), he has actually been doing a lot of things around the house — when his turn comes, he is that much more exhausted.
3. Sometimes Dad is thinking, “She’s run ragged; I’ll just lay low and not be an additional burden.” This is a noble thought — what he may not realize is that you need to lay low also but can’t because of the others. In this case, you just have to say, “I need you to do X — I can’t!” Over the years we found that when everyone is sick, one person can rally just enough to change a diaper and then collapse; the other one then takes over for just long enough to allow him a rest before she collapses. But you have to speak up!
As to the child who recovers just before bedtime — there used to a be a super cute book we found in the library called “The Bad Baby” — I haven’t been able to find it, but it charmingly depicted just this scenario. There were no words, just adorable drawings of a super sick baby whose mother is full of pity and loving care all through the day. Naturally, just as he recovers at night, she is totally worn out and looks on, bedraggled and exhausted, as he swings from the chandelier! But in the end, she loves him, of course! It’s just life. Babies are bad that way!
Christina A says
That book sounds like so much fun! In the years since this post, have you been able to figure out who wrote/illustrated it?
Leila says
Christina, I have not! I just have a vague memory of where it is in the library where we used to live. No searches have turned it up. It was darling…
Christina A says
I hope you’re able to find it someday; many’s the time I’ve stumbled across an old, forgotten childhood favorite in the thrift store. 🙂
Christina A says
A friend of mine shared a little video of her daughter going through bookshelves today, and she held out a title called The Wild Baby by Barbro Lindgren, illustrated by Eva Eriksson.
Betty says
a damp washcloth, folded over the forehead, was always appreciated by my feverish kids…thank you for writing this all out for the collective memory:) besides keeping ginger ale and crackers on hand, the wise mom also keeps fixings for 2-3 “pantry dinners” on hand as well, when a grocery run can’t happen
Allie says
omg this is Awesome. I am printing it out and giving it to 95.5 % of the patients I see in the ER. Some of which say “I brought him in because he has a fever – for 1 hour. ” and ” i did not give him anything… and I did not take his temp with a thermometer… ” sigh.
Leila says
Allie, I hope you do 🙂
But seriously, just TELL them what to do next time. THEY DON’T KNOW! They think they are bad parents if they don’t go to the doctor — because that is all the info they are getting.
Helen Aardsma says
Very good post! With our ten children (mostly all grown now) we let them listen to Ethel Barrett’s “Holy War”, when they were down with illness. No matter how many times they listened to it, they got something new out of it (me too!) Kids are just like adults…..when we are sick, we often have a little “priority check”, and sometimes we are more open to spiritual things than when we are healthy.
Mary says
I love this post Leila. Love it!!
I have learned so much about the care of sick ones in the last 22 years, wether they were in or out of the hospital. So many young Mom’s need to know these things and be encouraged to put the sick ones first. So important.
Thanks so much for your continued wisdom.
priest's wife @byzcathwife says
fyi for those who might not know: do NOT give aspirin or aspirin-containing medicine (like Pepto-Bismal) to teens and younger when they have a fever- it can cause Reyes syndrome
and it is so true that people take the yucky old towels…why is that? 😉
priest's wife @byzcathwife says
another by- the- way: if your lovely little 5 year old daughter is throwing up a bit every 30 minutes but not complaining and also doesn’t even have a fever- touch the lower right side of her belly and push. If she shouts in pain, take her to the doctor NOW because it is the appendix!
This was 10 years ago. I only took her to the ER because my husband was a chaplain at the local hospital and he got us through the back door (yes- if there are no horrible tragedies, little ones whose father works there get priority) – they did an ultrasound and an hour later, she was being operated on. The reason there was no fever is because it had not ruptured (praise God!)
Jenny says
Coincidentally enough, I got home from work today to find a vomiting child. Our go-to tool for vomit is two one gallon paint buckets. We had to get them for some project several years ago and I washed them up to keep specially as puke buckets. I try to be understanding with the sick ones, but I do find myself yelling “IN THE BUCKET!!” to whomever is having the problem. I even practiced with the baby when she had a little bug, “in the bucket, in the bucket.” My oldest seems to be incapable of vomiting in a contained location, but next two manage alright.
In my house growing up, you were not considered sick unless you were running a high enough fever (under 100 was not a fever) or you were actively puking, otherwise you went to school. One of the worst days of my childhood was once in fourth grade when my stomach wasn’t feeling well, but I had yet to throw up. I was sent to school anyway and was throwing up before 9am. The school called my mother’s work and she said she would come at lunchtime to pick me up and bring me back to her work. Lunchtime came and went and she didn’t show up. Turns out she was confused which child was sick and went to my sister’s school to pick her up and by that point her lunch break was over so she went back to work. She didn’t get me until after school was out. I spent the whole day mostly alone on a cot in the teacher’s lounge randomly puking in the teacher’s bathroom. It was truly awful and one of the reasons I was determined my children would always have a parent at home.
Mama Rachael says
Thank you! I remember you talking about this before and I’ve used it when my Little Man has been sick. This post is wonderfully straight forward and I plan to evernote it to keep for reference. Yes, I do that for somethings.
DFS — read that part to hubby. and we both laughed a good belly laugh. Our Little Man does just that. Grandparents will say “wow, he’s still got so much energy!” to which we reply “no, he’s really tired.” I look forward to being able to say, “no, he’s got DFS. That’s all.”
Kaitlin @ More Like Mary says
I am just so grateful for your blog. Thank you.
Ann-Marie says
A Flylady trick is to put a sticker in the bottom of the throw up bucket. Then tell the kiddos to look at or aim for the sticker. It helps them get it in the bucket.
Julie V S says
This is wonderful. Thank you! Particularly having a set formula for dealing with sicknesses, and the list(s) of things to have on hand. My older two are 3.5 – I do cancel any plans and try to care for them, but not so effectually as I would like to. You’ve saved us lots of illnesses feeling our way.
Grace says
Thank you so much for this post!! I grew up in a home where you had to be sick enough to go to the emergency room to not have to do your chores or schoolwork…which led to feeling generally neglected and marginalized. Looking back I think my mom did feel helpless because she didn’t know what to do. I’m so glad for the practical tips and pointers for use in my own mommy-ing!
Rebekah says
I’m “a missionary of love, and my field is home.” That just about sums it all up. That’s truly empowering if I dwell on it. Thank you, yet again.
Stephanie in Germany says
I moved to Germany 25 years ago and learned child care in a private setting. I learned if a child has a high fever he needs 3 days without fever to recover. Sage tea with lemon juice and honey heals the throat. Smashed/pureed bananas and apples are good for a healing uneasy tummy. Rest, rest, rest! Thank God I am home and can take care of my children. Things are changing here in Germany, too. Children are given meds to be sent to school asap.
One year, all 4 of mine contracted chicken pox within a week and we were quarantined for a month right near the end of the school year. They didn’t suffer much at all, so it was a grand time for us without appointments to keep, beautiful spring weather and not having to deal with school issues. It was healing in many ways.
ArdenLynn says
I have 8 children and we pay dearly for vomit. Seriously, we pay. We call them barf bucks and we give each child $1 for every time they make it to the toilet. I have had a 2 year old make it to the potty because it is that big of a deal at our house. Then later, we make a trip to spend those hard won dollars.
Leila says
Barf bucks!! Hilarious.
NY Mom says
I learned to be BIG on hygiene from my mom, an R.N. She always insisted that we wash our hands in the downstairs bathroom sink, not the kitchen sink where there’s always silverware or a glass or something that could get covered in your germy germs. Get a stepstool in there for toddlers and teach them how to wash their hands properly. And for heaven’s sake keep it clean in there – change out the hand towel daily and Lysol the faucet handles once a day when illness is threatening or present.
Leila, the care you describe is exactly how my mom treated us when we were sick. Every 2nd day or so she’d change our sheets and make sure that the environment around us was orderly, clean and efficient, with supplies at the ready. None of this lying around puking in an unmade bed in three-day old clothing.
The sick person used disposable cups and their table service was washed separately and kept aside, and she also set near you a small waste paper can or plastic grocery bag for the garbage you generated- tissues, wrappers, whatever. Mom was good at confining the accoutrements of a sick bed so the illness didn’t spread. She really had a militaristic battle mentality towards us being sick, and there was a deep respect for whoever was under her care. In fact, you were duty-bound to obey her orders because it was your job to get better!
Caitlin says
NY Mom- I think we had the same mom! My mother was THE BEST at caring for sick people. Fresh sheets every day, sponge bath if necessary, books and the (occasional) “sick movie”. My sick movie of choice was always Swiss Family Robinson. 🙂 She went to nursing school after my dad passed away and became a nurse at 53, although she quit one year later because of the physical demands of nursing and for some of the reasons previously mentioned- she felt that she wasn’t actually able to take care of someone because of the paperwork/bureaucracy.
As a less experienced mom here I don’t have much to contribute, other than…. DOORKNOBS. WIPE ALL THE DOORKNOBS. I’m sure most people are aware of this, but everyone touches all the doorknobs. When there’s sickness I get a crazy look in my eyes and wipe all of the doorknobs daily.
Also to keep the “sick smell” at bay my mom would simmer some water on the stove and stick in some oranges/lemons or essential oils. There was just enough of a scent to kind of keep the air a bit fresher, but it wasn’t cloying or sickening like the scent of a candle can be. It also helps get some humidity into the air! Freshening the sheets/clothing helps with this too!
Lindsey Gallant says
My mom did a great job of taking care of us when we were sick – sick bed made up on the couch, lots of liquids, gingerale, small amounts of food when we were ready. I think she has a natural nursing knack! Once when I was sick for what must have been quite a while, I was complaining that I couldn’t go outside and get fresh air. A family friend came by to see me and brought what was, at first glance, an empty pickle jar. But it wasn’t empty. She told me she had filled it up with fresh air for me, and that whenever I wanted some, just to take the lid off and take a few breaths. It could easily be refilled. 🙂 I thought it was so special, and I kept the jar for many years.
Which brings me to my question – when do you let your kids back outside? Not out to activities or anything like that, but just to play, or have a little walkabout, especially in the winter? We’ve been fighting the flu the past 2 weeks, and while the fever and chills stage seems to have passed (though the 2 year old had a mild fever yesterday afternoon), they still have nasty coughs. We are getting to the “feeling cooped up” but “not back to normal” stage of things.
Leila says
Lindsey, as to going outside, just bundle up the ones who want to go out and let them go. They won’t last too long, because recovery from the flu takes a few big meals 🙂
But the sunshine will do them good.
What doesn’t work is committing to some activity where there is no quick escape back inside. So a walkabout in your own yard, yes — an afternoon skating trip with friends a half-hour away, no.
Margo, Thrift at Home says
such practical advice!!! This is the kind of thing I love to read – and the comments, too!
I have one piece of advice to add that I don’t think is commonly known in first-world countries. My kids (separately, thank God) both experienced extended stomach bugs that were beginning to dehydrate them so dangerously that our pediatrician was warning about hospitalization. My best friend’s husband who is a doctor said that in nursing vomiting patients in rural Africa where there is no pedialyte anti-nausea drugs or flat Coke or ginger tea, the sickies are given a sip of water or other clear liquid every 3-5 minutes for as long as it takes to keep it down. That this method has proven effective at stopping dehydration, even when the sickie is retching at the beginning. I found it to be true with my kids. My son was even barfing the anti-nausea meds and I simply started giving him a spoonful of room-temp water every 3 minutes (by a timer) until he could keep it down and we turned the corner into recovery. Wish I could remember how long I sat by him doing that, but those days are a blur. . . .
Dixie says
Sounds like a good trick. Another thing to remember is that you should not stop nursing your sick baby. I mean, use your common sense, but they can get dehydrated very quickly, and breastmilk is the gentlest thing you can give them for their tummies. They may throw some of it up — and don’t nurse them right away, necessarily — but make sure they’re still nursing here and there.
Katherine says
As a matter of fact, that’s precisely what’s recommended now for patients with Ebola, I kid you not. If IV rehydration isn’t an option (and in so much of Africa, it isn’t due to the few healthcare facilities being totally overwhelmed), then patients who follow this rehydration method, especially with (but not limited to) rehydration solution, have far lower mortality rates than those who don’t.
Katie says
So far in marriage/parenthood it’s just been my husband who has had the barfing, but I’m sure the day will come when little people succumb. Thank you for all this good advice! My mother tends to discuss and dwell on the symptoms of a sickie ad nauseam (heh), and I remember that as a child and teenager this was truly exhausting, on top of actually being sick. She meant well, paid close attention, and provided plenty of time off from school or activities, but I am resolved to be much less talky when my kiddos don’t feel well. Being sick is bad enough; discussing and reviewing and commiserating and analyzing and talking and worrying and recapping and, and, and . . . it always added to the “blah” inertia for me.
Auntie Leila, in the past you’ve pointed us to the old-school edition of Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach, noting its good instructions on caring for sick children. So I can’t take credit for these tips, gleaned from that section of the book, but they have proven helpful with ailing toddler. One concept is about expectations: to treat the sitter-upper as if she were an infant, the crawler as a sitter, the toddler as a crawler, etc. Going back a stage or two to remind yourself what provided the best comfort, and what is the max they can tolerate and manage. I have a hunch this will continue to work as the child grows– but really, it might just come down to mercy and common sense, of the type you outline in this post. =) The book also suggests a little stash of quiet, “fiddly” toys and trinkets that the child doesn’t otherwise see on a regular basis, things that are pleasant and occupying in one’s lap on a blanket. Other commenters have mentioned other good ideas for a sick box– thanks!
Helene says
Tee-hee. Love this topic! I followed my mothers example of saving the plastic bin they give you at the hospital when you have a baby for a throw-up pan. I keep a stack under my bed. I also remember being SO relieved the year I discovered that placing a towel over the child’s pillow and under the bin on the floor saved me TONS of midnight bunk bed sheet changes! I have even unearthed the summer beach towels and pressed them into service in this way. And I hope more mothers learn to keep kids HOME when they are ill after reading this….for EVERYONES sake!
Helene says
Sorry had to comment one more thing…a very old school pediatrician we once had gave us good advice for that child who is vomiting long after everyone else has stopped. Administer a tablespoon of peach juice from a can of peaches which has been packed in HEAVY syrup. The high sugar content in a small volume breaks the nausea cycle. This will only work with a child who has gone through most of the virus already. It will not cure or prevent the virus in a patient who is just coming down with it. Again, great topic for the Collective Memory!
Emily D. says
I have mucho experience with vomiting–I’ve had pancreatitis like, 10 times, no joke–and I’ve found that the all-time, winner-take-all champ of the Vomiting Basin is the shoe boxes from the Container Store. I’m serious! They’re like, a dollar. I have them in bulk. You can put them in the dishwasher! They are rectangular and deep so they’re perfect for if you’re REALLY sick, because they hold a lot. Super easy to clean. And they have a lid so if you’re in the car on the way to the ER, you can top it off so you don’t worry about it going everywhere. (Not that I know this from personal experience, or anything…..)
Tia says
This made me miss my mom! She was raised by a Holocaust-scarred father who was overwhelmed caring for his daughter and his mentally ill, physically incapacitated wife, who died by the time my mom was 10. Yet my sweet mom somehow learned to be so tender, loving, and JUST right when taking care of me when I was sick. Thank God for loving moms!
Lauren says
Dear Auntie Leila-
I love you! I really do. You encourage me and teach me so very much. Thank you! This was very helpful and so encouraging to read. Where we live, people bring their sick kids everywhere and most especially to church. This time of year my husband and I want to Lysol ourselves and our kids every week after Sunday services. In fact, one week when it was my turn to watch the babies and little ones in the nursery, a mother came in with two of her kids sick- with bronchitis! The poor tiny sick dears were so very miserable. But, it was a great lesson for me. However, we quickly realized that we are very odd in that when our kids are sick we….wait for it….stay home just as you are saying. Sometimes, even in little things like this, we feel so alone (and perhaps a little crazy since we don’t do what everyone else does). It is just so nice to have reassurance sometimes that our choices aren’t crazy but are informed by wise practice (like not sharing our germs with everyone else).
As a youngish (31 is youngish right?) mother of soon to be five children I am so grateful for ALL of your advice. I don’t have anyone in my life around to give this advice and it is SO needed. I have been learning to balance everything- being a wife, mother, homemaker, homeschooler, cleaner, etc…. Sometimes it is so overwhelming trying to figure out how to get everything done. Thank you!
Lauren says
Whoops! I meant homeschool teacher not homeschooler!
Maria says
In my house, if a child has a fever of 102 or less, I do not give them Tylenol because as soon as the Tylenol lowers the fever they no longer want to be on the couch, so it gives them a false sense of welness. A high fever, of course, is another matter.
I will also add that audiobooks are a wonderful resource for the sick child. They don’t require the child to hold up the book, don’t overstimulate like a DVD, and stave off boredom.
I have heard that elderberry syrup is great for strengthening the immune system. Does anyone have personal experience with this?
Adele says
We use elderberry gummies (just add gelatin). They work. They’re very high in vitamin C. My medicine cabinet is the spice cabinet. Vitamin tea (alfalfa, nettles, and oatstraw) is also helpful and mild.
Melissa Diskin says
After a particularly bad sick year last year (sick from Thanksgiving to Easter! I went to church twice…) we added immunity gummies (the Lil Critter ones with echinacea and vitamin C) and probiotic gummies daily, boosting with Sambucol or elderberry syrup at the first sign of a sniffle or flu symptom. Sambucol is the version of elderberry that’s been heavily tested (you know — double blind trials, widespread testing of kids/adults/men/women, etc). The Pubmed article I read on Sambucol said that it shortened the average flu from 10 days to 3 days.
Evidently it works by damaging the envelope that surrounds the virus so that it can’t replicate. So the earlier you take it, the better! We’ve taken the syrup and melt-tablet forms (tabs are easier to transport and for my kids to take), as well as some Elderberry syrup I found at Whole Foods. You can find Sambucol specifically at Walgreens, Amazon, and probably other drugstores, too.
KB says
I am not in any way affiliated with this company. I feel like an infomercial, but I have to tell you all about this MAGIC stuff. It has saved us so many times with our children’s bodily fluid adventures!
Kids’N’Pets Instant All Purpose Stain & Odor Remover http://kidsnpetsbrand.com/
It gets out barf, diarrhea, blood, urine, snot out of carpets, blankets, rugs, cushions… you name it. Removes the stains and the smells. Non-toxic. It is worth its weight in gold!
We always keep it on hand as to not tempt the “poop fates” or “barf fates”. 😉
I found out about it from a friend. Someone barfed all over the back seat of her car. It was horrific. She tried many products but nothing would get out the stains and smell. It was so bad, she was going to sell her car! She tried Kids’N’Pets and it was like a miracle.
Seriously, y’all, you can’t go buy this stuff fast enough!
Dixie says
I have to second this. It also makes toilet-training much less stressful!
Melanie says
We keep a coupke of old ice cream tubs to use as “puke bowls”,lol. I agree, please stay home and be slow to go out…my kids often, when recovering, act ok during the day and then run a fevr again at bedtime for a night or two. They are still considered contagioys and stay home. Every.year I see people say on facebook how sick their kids are and then see them at mass the next morning, gah!
Shayla says
Gallon ice cream buckets are my go-to as well!
Karen says
ziplock baggies! My children always puked in the car. Surprisingly, those ziplock sandwich baggies hold more volume than you imagine. Another surprise: children can hold them successfully onto their face and the vomit is all contained. Ziplock the bag closed and life is good. Ziplock baggies are a staple in my life for so many uses–I buy them in boxes of 300 at a time—and never for sandwiches!
Ginger says
Fantastic! I’ll let a friend know of this right now who deals with the same thing.
Mrs. C says
The best thing I’ve ever found for containing the vomit is to buy a cheap 13 gal kitchen trash can that can be lined with a trash bag. It sits on the floor next to the couch or bed on top of a towel. The furniture is also lined with a towel or blanket that is hanging down the side to protect that part. The vomiter doesn’t have to juggle a bowl or basin or try to hit a smallish bucket on the floor. They can sit up next to the can or helped to lean over it. When the episode is over, you whisk the yucky stuff away to the outdoor trash and reline the can with a new bag. No germy basins to wash and then germ up a sink or toilet. No risking getting yourself sick when washing out basins.
Another tip is that each member of the family has their own tube of toothpaste rather than all sharing one. One sure way to spread germs is for everyone to swipe their brush over the same tube.
Auntie Sue says
This is so timely. My 15 year old daughter had back to back stomach bugs- the second one lasted a week and I had to drag her to Pediatrician to get a doctor’s note for school, there she picked up the flu and it has now been round the whole family including my husband. I would add that if you don’t happen to have paper cups, an elastic band around the glass of the sick person will remind you to handle it with care, I keep a stock of disinfecting wipes only to be used for wiping up the bathroom after people throw up and I don’t know what to say about the couch. I only have one:( If you and everyone else is desperately ill and you can’t change the sheets at least change the pillow cases. Oh and I took a look at the expensive pure cane sugar gingerale I stocked up on – not a single bit of ginger. I think I will make my own in the future.
Pru says
Love this post!
I wasn’t raised in a loving home so I have really have to dig deep to be gentle, loving, and kind to my kids when they are sick.
When my kids are sick they want me to be with them, holding them. ALL THE TIME! I don’t mind most of the time but it can get tough. They love camomile tea with ginger and honey, saltine crackers and ALWAYS fresh from scratch chicken broth. We have vomit buckets, towels and plastic table clothes from the dollar store.
If I had one piece to add it would be to throw out the infected toothbrushes and replace them with new ones!
Leila says
Pru, getting the kids used to the Rest in the Nest really helps with their desire to be held all the time. If it’s something they come to expect and it’s a comforting warm nest with their blanket, books, special little toys, etc, they will be convinced to give you a break.
Sickness is good for the mother too — you rest from all your bustling because that little one really does want to be held. But of course, there are things you have to do! So the nest is a good thing to tide them over.
Serena says
Very appropriate post! Reading this and all the fine comments while I snuggle in a towel covered bed w/ my youngest sleeping (for now), old ice cream bucket at hand, roll of toilet paper off to the side. May miss some sleep, but know how comforting it can be to wake up suddenly not feeling well and having Mom right there to help.
And prepping hair in braids is a must!!
Bernadette says
From a teacher’s point of view — it is so sad to me that many parents can’t (or feel they can’t .. or won’t) take the time to properly care for a sick child. Many teachers hate having students miss school, but I hate having a sick child coughing/sneezing/whining at a desk in my classroom when I can’t do anything for that child. I’ve also worked in daycare and had the experience of calling parents who are angry to learn that their toddler has a high fever, is puking, or (perhaps creating the most panic of all in the school) has pinkeye! It’s terrible that a person’s first thought is what to do about work, rather than what to do about their poor child.
And while some people definitely overstate the importance of their job, it is truly a burden (sometimes an impossible one) for some parents to take off to take care of their child. So they dope them up on cold medicine, give tylenol before daycare so the fever isn’t noticed till lunchtime, etc., and send them on their way. I often feel that the push to vaccinate for increasingly minor illnesses is in order to avoid this kind of situation … so sad.
Katherine says
For what it’s worth, when I was in high school a decade or so ago, being sick more than two days (didn’t matter if they were consecutive or nonconsecutive) per semester required a doctor’s note, or it was considered an “unexcused absence” and resulted in detention. That, coupled with the policy of “if you have an A and no absences in a class, you get to skip the final” meant that a HUGE number of kids would go to school sick all the time, infecting the rest of us, because seriously–what doctor, especially during cold and flu season, will be able to fit you in that day in order to say “yes, you’re an in-generally-perfect-health teenager who has a nasty cold, you should stay home for a few days, sleep, rest, and drink lots of liquids?”
Really stupid idea, if you ask me. I get that they wanted to avoid truancy, but this meant that I never, no matter how sick I was, took the day off of school out of fear that I might need to take another later in the semester and get detention.
Kari says
How do you deal with the non-very sick one? I have a 7yr old on the couch right now, missing school, who loves to just lay on the couch, reading a book. I want to nurse her and help her feel better. I set up a nest, braided her hair etc, but she seems to be enjoying the attention and I don’t want her to become demanding. I also don’t want pretend sick to mean all kinds of special treatment and attention. She says her stomach hurts and was crying about it last night before dinner, but no vomit (thank you!) and no fever or anything. I certainly can’t know how her stomach feels….
Ginger says
The benefit of the doubt is mother’s best remedy for nurturing a child whatever ails them. Sometimes a close by parent is all one needs to feel better. I think that sometimes the only time I sit long enough to nurture them well is when they are sick.
That is why I love homeschooling, because we spend a lot of time on the couch everyday reading together. They are usually busting a seams to get out and run about in the dirt and get fresh air and sunshine.
Give her yourself today, you won’t regret it.
Kari says
Thanks for that.
I’m already feeling a little regretful that I didn’t send her to school. We do half school half homeschool (it’s a great hybrid charter school). She’s bored of reading and toast and tea. Asking for all kinds of non-bland diet things and I suspect that she’s just pretending. She’s being demanding of me and her little sisters (bring me this! Bring me that!) I had to remind her that her sisters are not her servants. I’m hopeful that the boredom of today will cure any pretend sickness. Is it horrible that I don’t believe my own kiddo?
But, I also know that she really wants to pass out of the math level she’s in and hasn’t been able to pass the test for the 2nd time. She feels pretty horrible about that, so if she’s like her daddy, it’s coming out in a hurting stomach. She’s just so dramatic! If something is good it’s great! If it goes wrong, it’s the end of the world. I don’t want to feed the drama queen/princess….
All that being said, when they’re sick, and obviously so, rest, nest, and pretty much whatever sounds good to them is fine with me. But oy! this pretending, or possibly pretending…. I’m at a loss.
Leila says
Kari, this is where being a mother is a balancing act. Everyone needs a “mental health day” occasionally, but how is a 7 yo to get one?
On the other hand, sometimes a nudge out the door is what’s indicated. There is no one answer… you go by what seems right to you at the time. Goofed? Oh well, that’s life. Either way — sending out a sick one because you thought all was well, or keeping an okay child lazing around — it’s okay in the end, because you were trying to do your best. Learning curve 🙂
briana says
For pukers I line a garbage can with MANY plastic grocery bags. Like 7. And then after they’re done puking, I tie it up and put it in the garbage and there’s another bag right underneath.
Awesome, awesome post.
I have to ask, did you ever lose months when someone was ALWAYS sick because the bug had to make it through everyone? I’ve had that happen a few times and when it finally dumped us out months later we were all like Alice who’d just landed at the bottom of the rabbit hole.
Leila says
briana, in a big family there are indeed long stretches of time where it seems everyone is sick! There was one flu that took out 30% of the school my son was going to… it lasted 3 weeks! Fortunately, it was a sickness where you just wanted to lie there.
My biggest fear was always that it would go through slowly enough so that by the time the last person got it, the first person was vulnerable again. UGH! The worst. Doom…
Ginger says
Every time I read your posts, my own mother gets wiser. She did all these things, so I do all these things for my children, without hardly thinking about it. What a gift a mother can give her children, the gift of good mothering.
My 6 year old is just coming off three days on the couch, beginning with waking up in the middle of the night vomiting in her bed….Poor thing….Then she came to my bed so I could keep her close by. The only thing we did was nurse her, and do a boat load of laundry, which is handy to keep one close by a child that sick and still be doing something.
and 7Up to drink. I keep a six pack of mini cans of these just for this occasion, its the only thing that tastes good in these cases.
Leslie in Virginia says
Great post! I actually find sickness mothering to be a favorite part of my job! I love that there is a perfect excuse to slow down and sit on the couch reading to the children! It is especially beautiful to see the older children sit with sick littles whenever they want company. 99% of the time, sick kids (even the older ones) come to the couch. It is endearing. I remember always being alone in my room as a child.
I would add two recent discoveries that took me nearly 2o years of parenting to implement. I now make broth and freeze it in two cup containers. It defrosts much quicker and the portions are just right. Also, italian ice is better than popsicles because they don’t have to consume the entire popsicle and it doesn’t make a mess!
My favorite mantra during the “throw ups” is : “Thank God for the Sanitize Button!”. That extra $100 for the “sanitize option” is worth its weight in gold! Vomit just disappears in the wash!
Thank you for your practical posts that are so needed! Many of us are raising our chidden differently than we were and are simply ignorant of practical matters!
Amy B says
Parts of this post made me laugh so hard! “The zone of horror :-)” This post is a really great idea–I think it can be really hard to just cancel plans and take care of your kiddos! Good practical tips! My 2.5 YO recently had influenza, and she just slept on the couch or floor most of the day, and played with puzzles or looked at books.
Also, I am a nurse on a medical floor in a medium sized hospital, and it’s expected that all our patients get a bath every day and teeth brushed twice a day/face washed/bed changed/clean gown or pjs. We can delegate to nurse’s aides, but we have to make sure it gets done for every patient unless they refuse 🙂
Leila says
Amy, SO glad to hear that. What a well run hospital!
Mrs. Pickles says
I love your practical posts. Most of the stuff I already know, but it’s good to get a refresher and a few new tips. My mother was GREAT at sick-nursing — I’m so grateful for her example.
We usually all get sick towards the end of winter, when the weather is flip-flopping around and everyone’s immune systems are vulnerable. I also find that just as I’ve realized I’ve overscheduled myself and am starting to panic about how I’m going to keep my sanity with everything I have crammed into my days, one of the kids gets a 6-hour stomach flu. I always sigh with relief and cancel everything for a couple days. It’s sad that they’re feeling lousy, of course, but it’s so nice to let the world spin on its own for a while and hunker down and relax as a family.
I’ve also realized that I definitely need some more cozy blankets in our house. Need more nesting materials! 🙂 Thankfully this is a great time of year for white sales!
Rachel says
My friend calls the sofa nest a “cozy dozy” which my children love!
My best strategies for sickness are :
Keep disinfecting the toilet/sink/doorknobs!
Change hand towels frequently.
Put towels on pillows for sleeping children, and on the floor next to the bed where the sick bowl is.
Ice cream is excellent for vomiting, I believe it is given to cancer patients who have bad nausea, also for sea sickness. I also give ice chips in a cup with a teaspoon which keeps little ones hydrated, especially with a sore throat, this is also good for sucky tummies.
I put any child who will still fit into pull-ups for the duration of diarrhoea. They are usually happier with this than with endless accidents and underwear changes.
I thought everyone did the snuggle on the sofa and stay nearby thing when their children were ill. I can see that these days mothers are panicked about missing time at work for their sick children and I see lots of very ill children out and about and clearly miserable.
This is so very cruel.
I am sorry to say but isn’t it the American “work ethic” which implies that one is weak if one gets sick and can’t carry on with an eighteen hour day at the office?
This has crept over to the UK but we are still looked on as soft for not working as long hours as our US friends.
Vieve says
Love all the practical advice!! Thank you! Are you talking about Cold-Eeze for the sore throat? I see some other options on Amazon, but I’d like to you use what you use. Also, I just learned about disposable barf bags. They have another name, but I’m going to invest, because, I do think it’s worth it!
On another note, I was scanning your pictures to get the titles off of the children’s books 🙂 Where have I been? James Harriot wrote children’s books?! And that fantasy I Spy Book! Woo hoo! Do you have a post…maybe just a picture post of little children’s books? Just spread everything out from that nice wooden box and show us! 🙂 I need new (old) books!
Thanks!!
Leila says
Vieve, yes, we take Cold-Eeze. They really work but I assume that any type of lozenge with zinc would work.
They have reprinted some of Herriot’s sweeter stories for children — I don’t know that he wrote them specifically that way…
I do have posts with lists of children’s books, e. g. http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org/2012/12/first-steps-in-teaching-child-to-write/
but I will maybe post a picture of that box and its contents on Instagram! It is full of Deirdre’s little girl’s favorites right now. Most of our children’s books are in the attic and I will have to get them down at some point!
Dana says
I read this some time ago now, but it just came to be relevant for me this week. My 2 year old will be in an over the knee cast for a month. I am so thankful that I read this. It has caused me to be more aware that he needs me to be close and tend to him. I otherwise may have run for the hills! Just kidding, sort of.
Leila says
Dana, good! You will be great with him. One thing I think you may be surprised at is how quickly he is able to get up and go, even with the cast. Tots heal amazingly fast from things like broken bones! The cast ends up being to protect the new growth from subsequent hurt.
So do encourage him to move around as best he can. You probably won’t be able to keep him on the sofa for long — and that’s okay.
Dana says
Thank you so much for the encouragement. He is getting around pretty well. But he wants our attention and to play with him quite a bit more than was usual for him. He is actually easier when he is sick because he doesn’t have the energy to run!
Donna L. says
Wow! Such a wealth of knowledge and inspiration for Mums of sick ones…
We just succumbed to the dreaded summer flu/fever combo~you know the one? It’s 90 degrees outside but your body has chills? It got us all, a few days in between~ me too~ but I remembered this post and found it again~thank you Auntie Leila and all who took the time to write this all down…I asked my daughter to read it, and we both had a great laugh about “dying fly syndrome”– too funny!
Monica says
Wonderful post and comments. My mom was a great mom/nurse/playmate when we were sick. Crazy- she even brought out the China & crystal for our family room turned hospital ward. Most of the time she was a bit of a five-star general who morphed into Florence Nightengale when we were sick. When my own kids (now 20-29) were school-age and sick, I kept them home and ministered them until they were well, strong, and no longer contagious. This certainly wasn’t the norm in our neck of the woods. I endured many questioning, unkind comments from other parents, school officials, and coaches, etc. So glad I didn’t allow them to change our illness plan.
Kristin Harrison says
Big Family illness is markedly different than Small Family illness. A small family and its members can be sick for 7-14 days. But a Big Family and it’s members are sick from the time the first person gets sick until the last person heals. It can often require additional caregivers to help Mom, who is usually laid up at some point during the care of her family. Dad may even have to take time off of work to lend a hand AND take off time to recover himself. In our house (of 8), it’s a mass casualty situation. So when bystanders say in caviler tones (and rolled eyes), “Oh, it’s JUST a virus,” it makes my eye twitch! They haven’t spent 3.5 weeks running 24 hour barf bucket brigades or administering round-the-clock nebulizer treatments to asthmatic children. Not to mention Mom’s commitment to laundering all the soiled clothes and bedding, while homeschooling and feeding those who are healthy. This is redemptive suffering at its finest! And I totally agree with Auntie Leila that these moments are essential to teaching mercy and empathy (and maybe a slight germphobia!) among the children in the family.
Elizabeth says
Just had to come back and add that there is a lovely chapter in “Ramona Quimby, Age 8” which describes Ramona’s mother taking care of her while she is sick. It reminded me of this post!
Leila says
Ha! Elizabeth, you know that most of my ideas come from children’s books!
Kari says
It’s an old post, but I believe you say you’ll still see comments and questions…
What do you do about the toddler who wants to get to the sick person’s tray? I feel like the sickies and I could keep the germs contained, but because the toddler is drinking out of the sick water or tea, spilling things, putting his hands in the toast, etc, he’s spreading germs to others or at least himself. If he gets sick, momma gets sick almost without fail. It makes me want to put the sick kid (9 yrs) in a room by herself to contain germs.
Also, do you give zinc to kids? The instructions say only over 12… what about mom during pregnancy?
Leila says
Kari, yeah, if you have a toddler who won’t leave the sick person alone, it might be better to put that person in a room to himself. Usually the tray can be kept up high enough on the sofa so that a toddler can’t reach, but there are those who are determined mountain-climbers. Basically, do whatever you need to so that your life is not made more difficult by having to take care of a sick person. *Even* more difficult 🙂
As to zinc, you’ll have to look it up. I probably did give a zinc throat lozenge to someone under 12, but usually they hate the way it tastes. However, this is the best delivery system.
Rachel says
This is just perfect! Brought back wonderful memories of my Mom who held my head and stroked my hair while I puked, reassuring me that I would live through it all. I’ve tried my best to be that kind of Mom to my kids too. I hope this kind of mothering can be revived. We arrived at church a few years ago and took our seat behind a family who had brought their small daughter and sat her in the pew with a large stainless steel bowl to puke in if needed. The little girl was one of six children and her mother, after the service was over and she likely noticed me eyeing the puke bowl, stared back at me, shrugged and explained, “In a big family, if we stayed home every time someone said they had a belly ache, we’d never be in church”. I was shocked and appalled.
Kari says
How do you deal with a kiddo who has an unknown rash that keeps going and coming with no change in diet, soap, or laundry detergent. I’m pregnant, so need to not catch it if it’s viral, but no one seems to be able to figure out if it’s viral or allergies. Otherwise, she’s fine and bouncing off the walls. Wanting to play with siblings, but unable to go to school…how do I deal with that?
Mindy R. says
To stave off stomach viruses, I heat about 3-4oz. apple juice in the microwave, add about a tsp. apple cider vinegar, same amount of honey and about half tsp. of food grade diatomaceous earth. Keep swirling the cup as you drink it because the DE will sink to the bottom. Any time any of us feel queasy, we take it, although some take it under protest! It’s way better than the alternative!
Eireann Roisin says
Auntie Leila, Could you ever do a post on Lyme’s Disease prevention and treatment/dealing with the illness? Contracting Lyme’s Disease is one of my greatest fears–I am absolutely terrified of ticks. I wonder if you have any wisdom regarding this topic. Thank you!
Kelsey Beason says
Hi Leila! I tried clicking on listing what we should have on hand (under #3) but it doesn’t seem to go anywhere 🙂
Leila says
Thanks, Kelsey! I fixed it. It goes here: http://likemotherlikedaughter.org/2009/01/vi-bland-diet/
Leah says
I am so glad that I found this post and the lovely comments about a month ago. This week, when one child (of 4) showed signs of illness I felt competent! Prepared! While the rest of the family are rapidly falling into the sickness, at least I have some general idea of what ought to be happening as we care for one another (yes, all hands are on deck). Thank you for pointing out the blessing of an opportunity to show love in a particularly tender way during this time. God bless you!
Leila says
So glad you came!
Alicia Hursley says
Thank you so much for sharing this! I’m a mom out here in Calgary Alberta. I lost my mom at a young age and I’ll be honest, I kind of struggle sometimes with being a mom. That was in full force this last week. My three-year-old got some kind of stomach bug and threw up all over the carpet. It was one of those days where nothing seemed to be going right at I was so frustrated. My first reaction was to yell at my poor, sick little boy. I’m glad I held it in. Instead I washed him off, comforted him, and remembered that I can ask for help. I called in a carpet cleaner to take care of the stains, and I checked out your blog. Thanks for helping me become a better mom.