I just love our readers.
You guys are already off and running! Sukie is doing her best to keep that page updated. The main thing for us is just the joy of thinking about lots of good people boldly reaching out to others to make a little pocket of friendship and contentment wherever you are!
Do you remember this post about a gal who was just simply felt guilty committing to home and all it represents?
As I said then, having a friend makes all the difference. It's the loneliness that can make you think you're just not going to make it!
And that is what the St. Greg's Pockets are all about. We all need encouragement and friendship!
So, consider getting started making your Pocket or opening one you have to those who might be on the margins, feeling so not sure if they can make it on the journey.
Your group won't necessarily start out with each and every one of you being a reader of LMLD. But since YOU are a reader, you can get the others to help you form a Pocket! St. Gregory is much beloved by Catholics, Orthodox, and Protestants alike — so don't feel you have to be one particular thing. If you enjoy the kinds of things we enjoy, you will enjoy having a St. Greg's Pocket.
Here are some tips that I've learned over the years about how a to be part of a community that will support you on your way. Be advised, I've learned them the hard way, by making all the mistakes — and the easy way — by having the blessing of good friends. These are not things that come naturally to me. So there's definitely hope for you! If I can do a tiny bit of all this, you certainly can do a lot!
1. The idea with starting the Pocket is to find people and get together on a regular basis to enjoy each other's company. You will have it in mind in this group to bring each other dinner when someone needs it desperately (try Take Them A Meal, a super easy way to organize this), throw a (modest) baby shower when a baby comes, watch each other's kids when there's a doctor's appointment.
You are not actually looking for your bestest friend ever. Right now you are just looking for some other people who need some friends too. To quote myself, “Find the people. (‘Who is my neighbor?' Not necessarily a person who agrees with every single thing I think or does just what I do or is exactly my age… )”
When you get together, enjoy each other's company. We suggest bringing really awesome snacks to enjoy together. Everyone can bring the kinds of things that they like best, and you will have a nice spread to share — some for grown-ups, some for kids, some for everyone. Leave the leftovers with your host unless seriously urged to take them home.
2. It may be that your goal in having your group is just to get together, nothing more.
However, you may find it may work best to have something that you've all read in common. That way, not only do you have a topic to discuss, you can steer the conversation towards matters that edify. In some ways, it's normal for people to start discussing banalities (or worse), especially when they are feeling insecure. A great way to have everyone leave with a positive glow is to have something to advert to when things lag. Having a live topic on everyone's mind in the form of reading will really help set the tone.
We personally are not super fond of book clubs, because we find that people are on different schedules, for one thing, and for another, if the selection isn't universally loved, people drop out. However, we do like having something to discuss. I myself have found that if the focus of the group is on getting together to enjoy the food, company, and possibly needlework or other crafts if you are in possession of older children to whisk babies away (more on that below), it's really conducive to energizing the group to also have something everyone has read.
I know that the distinction may not seem a real one at first, but somehow it works.
That's where this here blog comes in. Randomly send around a post you really liked, or you can check out and follow these Pinterest boards: Collective Memory, {bits & pieces}, The Library Project (especially the “foundational” reading), and this new one: St. Gregory Pocket. And of course, there are the archives, categories, and menu tabs.
Obviously you can talk about anything you want! We also enjoy discussing articles from First Things pretty consistently (the magazine, not the blog, although they sometimes overlap); and you will find a few sites that we often link to in {bits & pieces}. Experience suggests that you might want to stay away from mere punditry or click-bait-style posts that are reactions to reactions. Rants seem to just get everyone angry and tend to polarize even people who normally agree. We want contented, not contentious, meetings!
3. For women who've had the foresight to have older children, I think it's wonderful for us to encourage each other with handiwork of some sort. We women can chat, nurse a baby, and knit all at once, especially when there's a willing 9-year-old to take that baby away when he's ready for a break. We can at least mend a hem when the baby has been fed and is playing with the older kids. I see encouraging this sort of creativity and housewifeliness as a real benefit of these get-togethers. One crafty lady can teach another a tricky crochet stitch; someone who needs help with CCD materials will find willing hands. If you need a hundred and fifty cloth napkins cut out, you'll know where to turn! And if you really don't know how to darn a sock, someone can show you, or you can all watch a youtube video about it together.
If you are a bit older, consider that far from not being interested, the younger women you see at church or in the library might really appreciate getting your perspective and relaxing in your big yard.
But younger women who are juggling that baby all on their own should regard nursing as a form of handiwork and enjoy the chance to converse and snack at the same time. Choose your readings on the basis of how well they can be held in one hand!
For couples, think about at least a quarterly get-together with dinner or a sort of tapas-like, “heavy hors d'oeuvres” (often the most fun and least labor-intensive –once you're all together, that is). Don't forget dessert! Being able to have a deep conversation about something of substance– such as the importance of Sundays or the possibility of purity in our teens — will make the time together a treasure.
In all cases, try mixing up the ages.
Those are just ideas, though. You may have others! And that's great.
6. Don't be daunted by the thought that you are a.) the only one in your entire state (or country, or continent) who reads LMLD or b.) not the organizing type.
Start the group if you can and invite a few people. Make it clear that they can invite others. Let the organizers do their organizing — simply creating the Facebook group is often enough! In other words, you can introduce the new acquaintances to your favorite posts on LMLD and soon enough they will be kindred spirits as well. So go ahead and invite some folks, even if you think they don't know about the blog (and by extension, some of the more interesting ideas you may have).
One of life's greatest pleasures is introducing people you know to things you love.
We are here to facilitate and to encourage.
Ginger says
This is my favorite post ever….!!!!! May I add…My first friend adopted my son so her grandson had someone in the neighborhood to play with…..Now that is my kind of person.
We became fast friends, and the Lord knew I needed a mothering friend.
Most of my other friends are younger at church since I have young children, being older myself, and I love it. They are fresh and young and like you said appreciate my big old back yard, and me taking so they can shop.
Theresa @ My Jesse Tree says
I like how you’re talking about moms need for friendship. It seems like we shut out selfs out at the moments that we need friendship the most. I’m super lucky to have some great moms around me who give me the great community you’re talking about 🙂