My computer died and of course I hadn't quite absolutely completely backed it up super recently. Lots of excuses for why that might be so, but we'll take them as read. I really hope that a certain generous friend can perform his magic and recover what is lost. I have that tight knot in my stomach whenever I think of it, so I'll just… not.
Meanwhile, Will and the Chief made a command decision, based on a coming blizzard, to order me a new CPU — knowing that by the time I committed to a decision regarding laptops vs. desktops and Windows vs. Mac the point would be moot. So here Will is, getting it all organized while the world got thoroughly white.
Phone pic, sorry. |
Yeah, that was last week. I'll fill you in on all else that has been going on later — not least of which is the pending resignation of the Pope, which threw our household into a microcosm of the tizzy going on out in the world.
Speaking of Popes, it's interesting to see the world's reaction, which can sort of be summed up as “Why do we care, except to wonder why the Catholic Church isn't just like us?”
And I chuckled as I thought of how I suggested, this Lent, reading what might possibly be considered the most retrograde, dusty, and shockingly old-fashioned bit of unwanted advice ever to be foisted on a mocking world. It was bold, you must admit.
But, just on the assumption that it might turn out to be the most scorned doctrine that is true, just as it's the most despised of men who comes to save, let's take a quick look at the beginning of Casti Connubii (“Chaste Wedlock” in case you were wondering — documents are named after their first words in Latin — a charming antiquated touch that might work for title-impaired bloggers as well, come to think of it).
I was so heartened by the response to my suggestion that we read it together – in the comments and in your emails to me. And if you want a printable, non-parchment-paper-Vatican-style-unreadable version, go here for a nice clear PDF.
Dear Katie sent me this:
Then this week:
The first meeting was phenomenal, and if some of our younger ones hadn't gotten tired, we could have talked for hours. Next time we're meeting in the morning over coffee & bagels, when everyone is fresh.
Wish I could be there! Doesn't it sound like fun? Are you doing something like that? Let us know!
The thing is, the question of what marriage is gets buried under all kinds of tugs-of-war between and amongst folks who are only thinking about what they want. Here I don't even really have in mind the current issue of same-sex marriage. I'm more pondering the confusion and ignorance — and consequent heart-ache — of people in general.
Is marriage an elevated kind of roommate situation, wherein the subjects save a lot of money on rent, but have to accept haggling over household chores as a necessary evil?
Is it a self-fulfillment quest? Something so individual it involves no one but the principals?
Is it a losing proposition, doomed by its premise (two people even being able to stand each other for an ever-lengthening life-span)?
You can see where the confusion sets in.
So the first part of the encyclical (up to paragraph 9) is that marriage is something given by God. He has an idea about it, and if we can accept and conform our ideas to His, we will achieve peace.
That's the kind of thing that a lot of folks have trouble doing — conforming their ideas to someone else's (well, when they think that the someone else has authority). That's often a salutary impulse, as many authorities aren't trustworthy, or at least need constant supervision to keep corruption at bay.
But if you think about it, God, by definition, must be Good and also True. So it's a good idea to go there. Maybe we need some convincing on this, so, right, encyclical.
Early on in the document (paragraph 3), Pope Pius XI speaks of looking with a paternal eye on the universal world as from a watch-tower, and it's lovely to stop worrying for a moment and feel the force of this metaphor. The watch-tower is the view from above — the place of vigil where the signs of danger are acted upon for the good of the innocents below. It's a watch-tower over a forest, not a prison — a place where the vision can be clear and help can be quick.
And this is what he sees. Things in a bad way. But —
God has a plan; man can carry out that plan in each instance. A man and a woman freely enter into the married state — but they have no freedom as to what that state is. They can do well or ill. But they can't change what the plan is.
Right off everyone is going to get twisted into knots over this, but it's no use thinking of marriage — truly the very oldest institution there is–a covenant — founded, as the encyclical points out, in Genesis chapter the first — as something like a set of blocks that you can build what you want out of. It's more like water that you can drink or not drink — but as to its use in your body, and its necessity, you have no say. It is what it is.
In order to understand what follows — and to catch the message, if there is one under the dust — we have to accept the premise that marriage is just this: Given by a loving God.
Maybe even, at this point, a little suspension of disbelief — even for a time — is necessary. Just try it. For now.
Tell us what you are thinking in the comments if you like, and if you are posting about it, leave a link for everyone — if you like. Let's go slowly and talk about each section at a time. No rush.
Go here for a PDF file of the document. You can print it out if you like.
Rain says
“It's more like water that you can drink or not drink — but as to its use in your body, and its necessity, you have no say. It is what it is.”
This is so good and true. If everyone considering marriage agreed to these conditions before going to the alter we would see a lot less divorce and bitterness. Not that it is ever easy, but at least we know that there are rules to this game. Unlike a child's game where the rules get made up to suit their own interests as they go along.
Blessings.
p.s. How is the oaklet shawl coming along?
Maria says
Here's an even dustier church document on the same general subject: St. John Chrysostom: On Marriage and Family Life. Six sermons from the fourth century, translated and published by SVS Press. Perceptive, timeless, making the reader squirm in places and laugh out loud in others.
LJ says
I second this… I love this document!!! (Note for Catholics it's not a “Church document” but rather a reflection of a saint in his work as a bishop… but still really good stuff!)
Tami says
I second this… I love this document!!! (Note for Catholics it's not a “Church document” but rather a reflection of a saint in his work as a bishop… but still really good stuff!)
_Leila says
Tami, I'm so glad you are interested! This post is just the document through paragraph nine… I hope to have some thoughts on each section.
Jenny says
I'm reading along by myself here. I have almost finished my first read-through and plan to go back and read more closely. There is a lot of truth in the document. I am sadly amused by the bemoaning of the loss of morality circa 1930. The family is in much worse shape now. I have run across a few lines that have rung sour to me, but I'll mention those when we get there.
lethargic says
Please stop apologizing for phone pics. If serious photography is important to you, then do it; otherwise quit apologizing for what is not high on your priority list. It's no crime, but it is annoying excuse-making. I love your blog and I don't care about the phone pics … you are light years ahead of me in almost every way.
Mena says
Was that necessary?
_Leila says
lethargic — Do I apologize, usually? Hmmm… I think sometimes I want readers to know that it IS a phone pic, because they are interested in the photography, such as it is.
In this case, my “sorry” meant: Sorry I am such an idiot that I didn't back up my files and then my computer crashed and died. As I was in California, I wasn't able to access any home photos other than what was on my phone. I guess I was talking to myself, mainly.
I'm glad you love the blog and will try not to be annoying.
Anitra says
OK, I'll admit I didn't read the encyclical. I'm Protestant and not terribly interested in the Catholic/papal views.
However. I agree that everyone gets tied up in what they want marriage to be – rather than examining what God says about it. (Ephesians 5:22-33, Genesis, etc). Certainly it is for pleasure (1 Corinthians 7, Song of Solomon, Proverbs 5:18-19), children, etc. but Ephesians tells us that it is PRIMARILY to be a picture of Christ and his church! Hence the husband is commanded to love and cherish his wife “as his own body”, sacrificing for her as Christ did for us – and the wife is commanded to submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ! Heavy stuff.
Susan says
Anitra,
I think you would like this encyclical even if you aren't interested in the Catholic/papal point of view. After all the Pope is a christian religious leader and he wrote this encyclical in response to the approval of contraceptives by the Lambeth Conference in 1930. So It is historically significant and the way he speaks about marriage is very beautiful.
Robin says
So thankful you are back! Was wondering where you had been. I may not get to reading until next week–or maybe next Lent, with an impending move here, but I'll be following your discussion anyway. Thanks for prompting us all to get the background on this stuff we kind of sort of know about somehow, but could stand to sit down and do a serious study of. Blessings on you for the homes you are strengthening all over the country–and world!
Emily B says
I started reading it last week, and I am so enjoying! Thanks for the wonderful recommendation for Lenten reading. And I'm enjoying your commentary on it already!
LJ says
… does this mean we'll never finish those other books from Lent 2010?
(Jk. But look how patient I've been, just in case we ever did return to them!)
LeeAnn says
I'm in! Thanks for the link to the pdf. I like numbered paragraphs. I just do. (: 128 paragraphs isn't too lengthy either. I didn't have any plan for Lenten reading this year, so this came along at the right time.
Anna says
Have you heard of Teams of Our Lady? We've recently joined a team, and this is what we do! We get together to support one another in our vocations to marriage. We read bread readings and pray and discuss. The word must get out about this wonderful movement in our church!
Elizabeth says
Anna, do you know where I could find any more about Teams of Our Lady? We're living in France for a little while (long story) and keep hearing about these “Equipes Notre Dame” which clearly have something to do with family life and I suspect of being the same thing. Unfortunately our French isn't good enough to discuss anything really serious, so I'm excited to hear they also exist back home!
Ngofamilyfarm says
I finished a first read-through last week, and will go back now and follow along as you break it down. Thanks so much for leading the way – this has already given me much to contemplate this Lenten season.
-Jaime
Ngofamilyfarm says
Oh, and I found paragraph 7 to be very beautiful. I know I often forget that marriage is indeed a sacrament and how fortunate then, that we are not expected to make it whatever we want it to be at a certain moment, nor go through the difficult times relying on human strength alone – that we truly can rely on the graces inherent in married life. I think that's really comforting.
Donna L. says
Thank you, Auntie Leila for encouraging us to read this!
I will likely be printing it out, because so many others in our home need the computer for school, researching and fun!
Looking forward to your thoughts and ideas, as well as some from your other commenters and family! My cup of tea is ready at a moment's notice for our *Virtual Encyclical Club”
eloquentdefenders says
Leila, finally got a post up – such a busy week. Really looking forward to continuing this with you. If only spiritual nature, hence my favorite line in this section. Thanks again for getting this going!
_Leila says
How about a link for that? 🙂
Tami says
Sorry. Still learning so much about all this blogging yada. Here's the link: http://eloquentdefenders.wordpress.com/2013/02/24…
_Leila says
Thanks! It's a nice post!
Tami says
Thank you, Leila. Looking forward to where we go with this reading.
Anabelle says
I'm writing up a list of my favorite NFP posts with links for my blog and this one is definitely going in there. I did not know the timeline honestly –how telling. And then I'm writing a column on Casti Conubii after I read it. Thank you so much for this,
Kate Ventura says
While we're on the subject of encyclicals, have you folks read Pope Benedict XIV's encyclical “Vix Pervenit” (“On Usury and Other Dishonest Profit”)? It's also a great read! Really pushing our family to rethink my husband's job at the loan company. http://www.papalencyclicals.net/Ben14/b14vixpe.ht…