Thanks so much for all your loving expressions of sympathy, here on the blog and on Facebook. You are all so kind — your kindness brought tears to my eyes! I really appreciate that you would take the time to leave me a comment!
A while ago I wrote a super long post on homeschooling.
I poured out what little wisdom I have about homeschooling. I also promised to talk about two other things: Teaching writing and teaching older kids.
Then a lot of stuff happened, like going to Hong Kong and homeschooling my own child and getting really sick. But anyway, you know my modus operandi: Those topics can take a year or more for me to get to. You are patient. You are good.
Finally, I am going to talk about teaching your child to write, but since I'm still trying to deal with everyday life, I will take it slower.
And now is a good time to ponder this topic, because shortly a new semester will start — a new lease on the energy of learning — and it will last for a few short months, during which you may actually be able to institute some changes.
And in the meantime, we have this amazing season of wonder, in which you will be busy enough so that your children might have a few moments on their own simply to think and to ponder, and that will be a good thing.
The first change that you should consider is to think of what you do at home a bit differently. When I talk to parents and hear their anxiety, I worry.
They are panicked. I do know how they feel. It's all very well — homeschooling is all very well, usually — until your child is in second grade or so. Until then, you blithely nature walk and explore letter shapes and dye natural fibers with onion water.
Do you see? Once the rubber hits the road (meaning the child is a certain age), people look at school as a way to stuff things into their child's head as hard as they can, paying as much as they need to. They then hope in a vague kind of way that something comes out, eventually. If “it” — whatever “it” is (I think grades) — doesn't work out, they panic.
Instead of looking at education this way (a stuffing process), why not make this little change in how you think.
Why not try to see your home, at least (we'll leave the question of the school and society aside), as a place where everyone, man and child alike, is simply living in and contributing to a culture of learning and expression.
Through order and wonder, the home, at least, becomes more than a place where we rouse ourselves from a stupor every once in a while to cram some stuff into their heads. It's where folks are free to create an environment that facilitates exploring exactly what interests them and each other. This way, and especially when we find like-minded people to share our adventure, we build the culture.
Or if you are already thinking this way, maybe the change you need is to have confidence that you are right, and that things will work out well if you have the courage of your convictions, resisting the urge to panic.
There are two very important steps you must take to achieve the goal of writing, which, after all, is quite simply this: Having something to say and saying it so others can read it with pleasure or at least without annoyance.
First, everyone (this means you) should try to express things well. The counterpart of viewing education as a stuffing process is acting as if what comes out of your mouth is equivalent to what happens when you take a knife to a pouffy chair: The filling just sort of blurts out.
Let's not do this when we speak. When you tell a story, try to tell it well. Try putting the punch line in rather early on, and filling in the details afterwards. Study the rhythms of good conversationalists.
Remember that brevity is the soul of wit. When you make a request, use nouns. Be specific. Rid yourself of the habit of using fillers in your speech. Be energetic and use interesting words. Don't trail off your sentences, allowing gestures to replace the verbs — this is super challenging for the pregnant or nursing mother or any woman who has ever been pregnant or nursing. The key would be to think through what you are going to say before you say it, rather than starting from a foggy place and hoping for the best.
When you up your speaking game, your children imitate you. That's not exactly going to do the trick, though. You sometimes need to stop them and demand that they say what they are trying to say more efficiently. This has its limits, it goes without mentioning — you will have to endure many years of long-winded synopses of cartoon plots, etc., and with good grace. But still, you can sometimes ask them to rephrase something better. It also works to restate (kindly) what they said with better diction.
When they do turn a phrase or entertain you with their jokes, be appreciative. You can tell they are trying, so smile.
And sometimes it's a good idea to ask your children to stop talking. I'm not sure if people realize that you can do this, but life would be better if they did. If children never stop talking, they can't learn.
Did you see this Wall St. Journal article about students' shortcomings in a vocabulary test? Predictably and rather sadly, educators are calling for “doing vocabulary” in school. A certain amount of looking up words is, indeed, necessary, of course. But if these students simply read good books — even if they did very little other than read good books! — they would definitely know that “puzzling” means “confusing”, and that “permeate” means “spread throughout.” How can you write well if you have no vocabulary — that is to say, no words at your disposal? But this is what we are doing to our children.
So I will once again emphasize that children must read and must be read to.
And it's just not true that “as long as they are reading, it doesn't matter what the content is,” as so many apostles of mediocrity have tried to tell us. It really does matter, and you better purge your home of stupid, clunky, ugly, ham-fistedly moralistic, commercialistic books and replace them with lovely, poetic, and interesting ones.
You really don't need a list, you just need to look at the publication dates. (There are a few exceptions to this sweeping statement. Some new books are good. But you must know what a good book is in order to recognize one, so stick mainly to the old ones. Your standards will be so much higher!)
If you want to be able to use interesting words naturally (see my first point, above), you will have to be familiar with them from your reading. Ditto ways of putting those words together. So reading is the quite massive base of the pyramid you are building, the very top of which you hope will be an ability to write in a way that is expressive. Building this pyramid will take time! Be patient, be strong, be confident.
Here are some books I would recommend for Christmas gifts this year. It goes without saying that if you can find older editions, that would usually be preferable! And most of these are gateway books to the authors in question, so do look up other books they've written. The mark of a great children's book: all ages will enjoy it! Try these; you won't be disappointed.
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Mother Goose by Gyo Fujikawa. I happen to love Fujikawa's illustrations, but of course there are many versions of Mother Goose out there. Do seek out one with many nursery rhymes, not just the few familiar ones, in it.
Peter Rabbit I love having all of Beatrix Potter in one set like this. The woman was a genius (C. S. Lewis agrees, remarking as much in a letter to a friend after he read them to the children staying in his home during the air raids in London in WWII.)
The Golden Treasury of Poetry Louis Untermeyer's compendium of poetry has something for everyone. It's out of print, so snatch an old copy up if you can find one! Mine is in tatters.
Aesop's Fables As LMLD readers know, I'm not in favor of moralizing to children. It's not that they don't need direct moral training. It's that the form such training takes is often pedantic and lacks imagination. My advice: have them memorize the 10 Commandments (at around age 7-10) — and read Aesop's Fables.
The Wonder Clock by Howard Pyle is a delight. All the details bear close inspection — the broad strokes work their magic.
Pepper & Salt or, Seasoning for Young Folk, the companion to The Wonder Clock. (More on these books in this post.)
The Complete Chronicles of Narnia This is a beautiful edition with all the Pauline Baynes illustrations, which are integral to the story.
A Girl of the Limberlost Older girls (who love Anne of Green Gables ) will love Gene Stratton Porter's story, although it's a bit heavier — it doesn't have the hilarity of Anne. Boys will enjoy Freckles, by the same author.
Treasure Island It's Robert Louis Stevenson's ideal adventure story. Pirates! An orphan boy! Buried treasure!
Tom Brown's School Days An old-fashioned story for boys. It's good for them to have a glimpse of life in a boarding school in England.
Betsy-Tacy Treasury You just have to know Betsy. She's wonderful. The reader grows with her, so that the subsequent books are for older girls. (In high school, she plays innocent games with her friends, with the exception of a brief mention of using the Ouija board, which I would recommend mentioning as not a good idea.)
The Trolley Car Family … runs into challenges — just like every other family's. Read along to see how they cope with a sense of adventure and humor. Living in a trolley car when Father loses his job! What could be more fun? In a way, this is required reading for parents to understand how children view what to them are worrisome events.
The Story of the Treasure Seekers E. Nesbit just has a marvelous narrative voice, making her books interesting to read out loud. All her books are wonderful.
The Wind in the Willows I wrote about this Kenneth Grahame classic in this post. I do love this illustrator.
The Complete Tales of Uncle Remus If you want to understand this beautiful land, you must know Uncle Remus.
The Children of Noisy Village I wrote about Astrid Lindgren's books in this post. You will love the antics in this story!
Little House in the Big Woods You think you know Laura and the Little House books until you read them out loud to your children. She's America's Beatrix Potter: poetry in children's prose.
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain must be in the library of every American!
Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling give fanciful explanations for animals' features (like the elephant's trunk). Imaginative and witty; delightful to children!
D'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths I'm telling you: if you don't make a slog of it, your children will learn their Greek myths with no trouble at all. Children love this book, poring over it for hours.
As I look over this list, I can think of a hundred more books to recommend. But this is a start. All these books would be happily received as gifts. Enjoy!
{Read the other writing posts here.}
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margaret says
The Betsy-Tacy books were an absolute favorite of mine growing up. I cannot wait to share that series and the Little House series with my daughter.
Jen says
Thank you for this. I'm glad you're feeling better. We have most of these books, and our boys love listening to us read to them. If one really wants a list, I personally think that the reading list from Angelicum Academy is a good place to start. I would choose a different edition of the fairy tales for children, but overall these books are a great springboard for reading and learning a love of good literature.
Mama Rachael says
If you publish a book, you need to put on the cover “Don't Panic!”, as you often preach this. And its something we need to hear.
I read a blog post by someone recommending toys to help your child's speech development. She talks about using wooden blocks to teach locational prepositions. I thought, “hmmm, I should start using those intentionally so Doctor Destruco will start picking up on them.” Today, while walking into campus to have lunch with Daddy, I said, 'the sidewalk is under us' and 'the tree is over us and we are under the tree.' And, I do swear, I think Doctor D already knew the words. He stomped on the sidewalk as I said that phrase, he pointed and yelled at the tree when I said those words. Maybe I don't need to be intentional so much as I just need to keep talking to him like a person who understands.
Anitra says
“keep talking to him like a person who understands.” That's it! I was trying to explain to a friend the other day why my kids are good communicators (for their ages – 4 and not quite 2). I told her that I speak to them like adults – which my parents always did with me. I probably do a bit more explaining and use more synonyms than I would if I were actually talking to an adult – but this has been my habit since my first was just a crawling baby. Young children understand SO MUCH more than we give them credit for (although they aren't very good on cause and effect, which I forget often).
As an aside, I will say that some formal teaching of writing is certainly called for: I read a lot (and did as a child), but I never wrote very well – even though my mother is an English teacher! Once I got into highschool classes with teachers who actively critiqued my writing, I got better. 🙂
Lorna says
I had a book with “Don't Panic” on the cover. It was The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Eons ago!
Rachel says
Oh, sweet book choices! I like Noel Streatfeild and always think of her books when I think of the Betsy and Tacy books.
Thank you for the suggestions and for the reminder to RELAX.
Terra says
I like your idea of education, and about reading to children, and your list of titles is fabulous. C.S. Lewis and the Child's Garden of Verses are favorites in our home.
Neva Hernandez says
I think that it is so important for people to remember that content is important when it comes to reading. Better to watch a cooking show on tv than read Twilight or some such drivel. I'm often stunned that some seem so impressed that a child is reading anything without any concern as to what they are reading.
Elizabeth says
Thank you for this! I often feel the need to “be more energetic and use interesting words”. I know that I fall into the trap of filling my speech with “likes” and other fillers. How boring! I am going to try and be better about this. Your book list has looks great too. I recently re-read “The Railway Children” by E. Nesbit and I loved it as much as the first time I read it. I will need to read some of the other books on your list.
Also, I made your three-onion pomegranate-rosemary confit over the weekend as part of my dad's birthday dinner (and I am about to make some more now). Delicious! I made it to go along with my first pot roast which turned out excellently despite my trepidation in making one for the first time. It was so much more satisfying than any restaurant dinner.
Thank you again for all the great ideas and the way that you have shared them through this blog.
sarahlcc says
Wonderful book list, and happy thoughts to pull us gently through. I'm glad you're recovering well. I would love to see a post on Just Books, with suggestions from others for good books as well. I love finding new ones to read and read aloud! I think both of my not-so-little guys will really enjoy Tom Sawyer.
Valerie says
Thankyou, Leila, for the post – good to hear from you!
“nouns… specific… vocabulary…” – I am reminded of the ten-year-old who exclaimed “oh, look at the stuff from the thing!” which had me wondering until I translated that to mean “smoke from the bonfire”!
Happy days to you and yours 🙂
salomeellen says
If any of you can get your hands on a copy of “Turn Not Pale, Beloved Snail” by Jacqueline Jackson, DO IT The subtitle is “Thoughts about writing, among other things” It's an awesome resource for learning how to THINK about written communication. Unfortunately it's out of print, but used copies are available.
Dixie says
I love the thoughts and the list of books, which includes so many of our favorites.
Let me especially encourage anyone interested in trying the “Wind in the Willows” to make sure to buy the specific edition that Leila recommends. The illustrations are stunning!
Alea says
I so agree with your statement that reading books improves vocabulary. My 2 older kids are big readers and I always think it's great when they use a new word, but pronounce it incorrectly – because I know they got it from a book! I love that they try their new words.
Kate says
Books have always been my friends. When my mom taught me how to read, my 3 year old brother learned too. We didn't have tv, so we read books as our entertainment (as well as long hours in the backyard, and Maple tree). When I went to college, people kept asking me what this or that word meant about because of my large vocabulary. I ended up dumbing down my word choices simply so I didn't stick out so much. My brother is crazy smart, and in his field he can use those big or unusual words and people just nod like they know what he means. I believe reading, and what I read really shaped my life. I haven't read some of these titles, but I will be checking them out from library soon!
Pam says
I feel like a dodo….can't find the “list”. Am I missing it?
blessings,
pam
_Leila says
Pam, which list? The list of books to give? It may not appear unless you go to the site, I think.
___________________________
Sent from my phone.
Fontaine says
I'm on the site (as opposed to in a feed or email or something) and I'm not seeing the list either
Lorna says
I can't see a list of books either, and I'm on a desktop looking at the website. The post end with “… you won't be disappointed.” Is the list in some sort of a pop-up or ad format? Our computer blocks those. I'd love to see what's recommended. Please!
Mary Ann says
I can't see the list either! Help, please!
Jenny says
If you have an ad-blocker, Amazon links will not show up
Colette says
I heartily second purging all drivel-books! I categorically refuse to read them to my kids — they seem to grow like mold or something. No matter how many you get rid, there are always more. I don't want to waste precious time reading a stupid story, why bother when there are so many good ones out there?
Laura says
Thank you, Leila. You are so very encouraging. My kids are in third and first grade and I'm just in the beginning of the panic phase. I'm trying to breathe deeply and persevere through uncertainty. Thank you for the light you shed on the path.
Jamie says
I see the list! Great suggestions! My children are receiving the Henty bookset this year-all 99. And.that's. it. Maybe a candycane and some chocolate. And a good Christmas Dinner. : ) I was beginning to second guess this until this post. I'm sticking with the plan. Thank you, Auntie! By the way, I picked A LOT of blueberries this summer with my children and the Henty set is what I bought with 'my portion'…up at 6:00 and home at 4:00. We had a hard but fun four months and I'll get my closet space back because the books have been hiding in there for some time.
Anyway, glad to hear from you and as usual, you speak right to my struggles. God is truly a part of this.
Carrie says
I couldn't see the list in Google chrome, but it's there in Firefox. Thank you, Auntie Leila, and I'm so glad you're well enough to write us!
Sarah says
Oh, Leila I am so glad you are back in top form. I love these kind of posts!
I have been slowly (glacial speed) purging our children books since reading Simplicity Parenting, but I still have a way to go. I second Collette with her view that they grew like mold:) I really should get in the habit of sorting through ten or so books a night and aim to have it done by the new year!
I love watching how my two and half year old uses the language of books she has had read to her. At the moment she frequently ends her requests “she cried” – from I Want My Potty. Or, when she wants us to wait she'll say “One moment, said Maudie” from Maudie and Bear. This morning we had a classic though where she changed the words of the prayer/rhyme I See the Moon. We were leaving the physio and as I was strapping her brother in the car, she was wandering around the pavement and I heard “I see the big black storm cloud, and the big black storm cloud sees me. God bless the big black storm cloud and God bless me”.
Sara says
I love you, Leila! And I'm happy you're on the mend! I always feel like such a book snob when kids are reading modern junk (sweeping generalization), especially in a pricey Catholic school. There's so much great wisdom and literature out there, but we stuff, indeed, their heads full of junk food during the precious years we have some control over what they read!
Anne Marie says
Well done, Auntie Leila! There's always something I scan use in your posts. Thank you for writing and keep up the great work.
Betsy M says
Hi Leila – how wonderful to see a post from you this morning! My kids attend our local Catholic school and I just had a confrontation with my daughter's 3rd grade teacher regarding the reading choices. The read aloud books in the class room are the “stupid, clunky, ugly, ham-fistedly moralistic, commercialistic books”. She justifies the choices by arguing the books need to appeal to all of the children – especially those who spend all of their time playing video games. I do not see where giving those kids junk will like help them enjoy books any better but rather turn them off to literature.
I am very close to home schooling my kids but keep thinking that if all of the strong, educated Catholic families give up on this Catholic school then we will be doing a disservice to our church. To complicate matters my husband was asked by the parish priest over the weekend to serve on our school board. Any great ideas for getting teachers and librarians in the school to wise up and forget the Scholastic books?? {without getting into big arguments along the way 🙂 } Or should I just keep my mouth closed and continue to give my kids the good books at home and not worry about the rest of the world? Maybe that is better.
Oh, and thanks for the list. I second that it doesn't show up in Google Chrome but does is Foxfire.
Margaret says
While you're on the subject of book recommendations, do you know of any good books where the characters are Catholic? I don't mean the heavily didactic content put out by Catholic homeschool publishers, just high-quality stories where the people “happen” to be Catholic–am I making sense? I ask because we mostly read classic children's lit (much of it British), and my daughter recently commented that no one in her books goes to Mass.
Woman of the House says
The Bantry Bay series by Hilda von Stockum is an excellent example of what you are looking for. We enjoyed this series very much, even though we aren't Catholic. 🙂
sibyl says
You don't say how old your daughter is, but I highly recommend the books of Hilda von Stockum, available through Bethlehem Books. Our favorite is a trilogy about a family called the Mitchells. These are set during and immediately after the second world war. This is a family that begins with five children in the first book and has eight by the third book. They are pictured going to Mass. These are real books, not pap. All my kids, boys and girls, love to hear them read aloud.
Gracie says
Growing up, I loved Louisa May Alcott's “Eight Cousins” – still appreciate it (and its sequel, “Rose in Bloom”) today. Solid family values, though a tad outdated in some respects! I've read debate/discussion of whether the family in the series is Catholic. (Anyone here have an opinion?) At any rate, there is at least one instance described of their going to church, and several of various family members in prayer. I'm not sure that “Eight Cousins” quite fits the bill of what you're looking for, but it comes highly recommended anyway!
Gracie says
Growing up, I loved Louisa May Alcott's “Eight Cousins” – still appreciate it (and its sequel, “Rose in Bloom”) today. Solid family values, though a tad outdated in some respects! I've read debate/discussion of whether the family in the series is Catholic. (Anyone here have an opinion?) At any rate, there is at least one instance described of their going to church, and several of various family members in prayer. I'm not sure that “Eight Cousins” quite fits the bill of what you're looking for, but it comes highly recommended anyway! (Sorry if this posts twice; I had trouble getting the comment to go through the first time.)
Woman of the House says
This is my twelfth year homeschooling and I agree with every word you said! I came to it the hard way~ through trial and error and educating myself~ but what a benefit it would have been to have been told this early on (if I had had the sense then to listen . . .). It is so important to build the culture of the home so that it reflects the good, true, and beautiful. That alone will go a long, long way toward helping your children become adults with heart and soul and intellect. We had a small community of friends like this where we used to live, but in our new town, I haven't located any yet, not even one other homeschooling family. But we plod along anyway, making the most of what God has given us. But yes, I so agree! And I'm glad you are feeling well enough to post things like this. 🙂
sibyl says
You exactly state what I have come to believe about good vocabulary. The person who grows up not only reading good books, but also hearing good speech, will have a good vocabulary. Like learning a foreign language, learning our own language involves some concentrated study and then just a lot of reading and talking.
I'll never forget when my first son was about six years old, and he was eating a piece of fruit (maybe melon?). He looked up at me and said, quite seriously, “Mama, I am savoring this melon!”
Patty says
Though it's taken me until now to convey the sentiments, I have been thinking about you and sending up quick prayers on your behalf. My Dad has had similar medical issues, so I understand the pain and disruption to some extent! Glad you are beginning to heal and of course posting again!
On the subject of this post, I had this similar “Don't panic!” revelation last Friday! Seriously. You must be spying on me. I was in a whirlwind of panic and guilt and frantic activity about all the things (housekeeping and homeschooling-related) that we were not doing. And it suddenly dawned on me that I simply need to do the (creative, educational, culture-building) things that I already do (or used to do) and invite my kids into them with me! Baking, reading, sewing, flute-playing… They will see me doing things and the sounds of “Can I do that?” will abound! Since I don't want to (and couldn't possibly if I tried to) immitate conventional schooling and instead desire to teach them to be productive, informed, creative members of society, “building the culture” in our home (as you so perfectly crystallized my thoughts) is exactly what my goal should be!
Melissa Diskin says
How I love your book recs — I have many of these but there are some new ones I want to explore! Our house is full of avid readers so we have to purge our good book stash pretty regularly. I love when I can find a friend who is a good match for what we've outgrown!
A relative recently gifted us with a Barbie, Fashion Star (or whatever) book. Why must little girls be given this garbage that equates empowerment with being a rock star, fashion designer, or model? (So different from the Noel Streatfeild books where the talented dancer or actress always gets a good dose of humility along with her hard work, usually from a teacher who notices how smug the girl is about her talents.)
Cate Harmon says
I'm looking for a good (illustrated) compilation of classic fairy-tales for my four-year-old daughter – any suggestions? I wouldn't have thought such a thing would be difficult to find, but I haven't had any luck finding something that isn't overly-PC, is well-written, and has lovely illustrations.
MCHodes says
I have never posted before, though I am a mother of four who is new to homeschooling and I have gleaned a great deal of wisdom from your site. I have to post now to say that A Girl of the Limberlost was a life-changing book for me in the fourth grade in Indianapolis, Indiana, and I have never heard another soul mention it until this post. I thought it must be that only people in Indiana read Gene Stratton Porter. I recommend it to everyone, especially mothers of young girls. Thank you so much for doing the same.