Dear Auntie Leila,
Any chance you could post about the things you do to get ready for Thanksgiving?
Love,
Susan
You mean the magazines aren't helping you with their advice to set the table the day before?
You say you actually use that table at every meal for your impossibly large family?
And even if, during those crazy prep days, you could simply hand them food out the dog hatch, telling them that it's normal to eat meals on the porch in November, your nimble toddlers would slip past you and make short work of the china and glassware?
You don't think it would be wise to set the table more than a nanosecond before everyone sits down, even with your linebacker brothers to guard it while you keep the other toddlers from standing on the dishwasher door?
Because you have an infinite supply of toddlers?
Yeah, I hear you. I don't have any brothers, so it was even worse for me.
Maybe some of these ideas can help.
Keeping in mind that this post is really for large busy families who aren't old enough to contribute by bringing all the dishes to you, and that I am usually stirring gravy with one hand and forgetting to defrost the pie dough with the other, here, in telegraphed form (because it's already less than a week to go) is my little list of helpful hints.
♦ Know that when you have little ones, you are not going to have that one day that you can devote to giving the extra turn to your puff pastry, making individual miniature cornucopias as favors, or blanching your almonds.You need to embrace that.
But it's your duty now to schedule in — rather than be in denial about — the need to sit down and nurse the baby.
By the way, this is where I think baby schedules get a bad rap. The schedule is for you — so that you don't push your baby a little past his limit with your busy-ness, but are fully aware that yes, it's been two hours and he really does need you. Not for a quick sip but for a good, hearty nursing. If you bottle feed your baby, no, you can't just hand him off to others while you run yourself ragged. The baby is like a big speed bump in the road. Slow down.
Pace yourself. You know for a fact that the baby will need to be held, and, exasperatingly, more often when your level of frantic activity is up (there is a direct correlation between children desperately needing you and your distractedness — this has been documented by countless women, or would have been if they could have found a pencil).
Even if he seems fine (and he's not, because to him it's just a day, not a “special” day, and he wants you), you'll get sick if you put him off. At least, if I didn't stay with my babies' rhythms, I would get a breast infection — no fun and no good for anyone.
On the other hand, you have lots of little helpers who can do charmingly naive approximations of place tags, fashion turkey decorations and garlands, and bring in pine cones.
So decorating is taken care of.
♦ Make dessert first. Basically, that means make your pie crusts sometime before Wednesday. Once that part is done, the pies are easy and can be baked before you put the turkey in (I really do like mine freshly baked on the day, other than the pecan pie, which can be made the day before — it's a little late now to be freezing it, but it does freeze well, for future reference). Any little touches that you really want, do them now.
♦ Pay your bills and go through your papers before Monday. This year Thanksgiving is a little on the early side, so that's good, but you will be vexed if you get a late fee because you let yourself lose your concentration.
♦ Sometime before Tuesday: Clean your own room. Do it today. If you want peace in the next few days, you need to know that your house is in order. That tense feeling of paralysis comes from the vague sense that you have too much to do, which is in turn fed by those little strolls you occasionally take through the house and yard.
{I say this as someone who once, on the eve of the big T-day, told my returning kids (including poor dear Natasha, who has likely never recovered), “Clean the windows in the dining room,” and went to lie down. But that's because the dining room table was being finished that day, in that room — and by finished I mean the legs were being sawn down because I felt the whole thing was too high. Well, it was. But that meant there was sawdust everywhere….}
If you just do a big chunk of it a few days before — the non-turkey-related chunk — you will experience a lightness you never knew you could have.
The fact is that roasting a turkey isn't all that hard. Phil's brother once pointed out, after having fussed over a chipotle turkey with ancho stuffing or whatever, that in the end, Thanksgiving dinner tastes like… Thanksgiving dinner!
No matter what you do!
So go ahead and keep it simple, and rather than thinking all will be lost if you don't have five-spice squash, just make good plain squash and do your chores ahead of time.
Complicated Thanksgiving recipes are creatures of magazine editors who sit around all year thinking up stuff for you to stress out about —
–and then get their own Thanksgiving dinners catered.
Actual thanksgiving, on the other hand, is about the bounty of nature (among other, more lofty things). Na-ture. Put butter on it and it will be lovely.
♦ Give your whole upstairs (or sleeping zone) a “Moderate Clean.“ Now is not the time for turning mattresses or any of that deep-cleaning fancy stuff. De-clutter a little, wipe things down, tidy up — including your messes that you can't deal with right now — just go ahead and make them as tidy as you can — and vacuum.
By sometime on Monday the unseen regions of your house will at least stop giving you that sinking feeling that you will expire soon. Get the bathrooms in shape. When you wake up next week to the reality of cooking for your crowd, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that a Blitz will have you in good form.
♦ Do a lot of laundry now. Fold it and put it away. Notice today if your family actually doesn't have enough underwear to get them through Friday. If that's the case, get thee to Target and buy some. You'll still have to do laundry every day (probably including at least processing some on the day itself) but giving yourself breathing room is the way to go.
No matter how efficient you are, and especially if you're like me and really like to make things from scratch and have them fresh on the day, you will be super busy on Wednesday and Thursday. You don't want a lot of dirty or wet or jumbled sheets and towels mocking you every time you walk by wherever you stack all your unprocessed laundry.
♦ You know that feeling you have that's like this: “I wish I had time to sweep the porch!” “I need to vacuum the stairs!” “Ugh, there are cobwebs in this room!” “Under the trash can the cabinet is so dirty!” “The chairs need to be dusted!” “I can't even think about the car!”
Well, those are all things kids could take care of. It won't be worse than it already is. Put them to work and see if you don't get a bit ahead despite yourself.
♦ When the nether regions of your house are moderately clean, your laundry is put away (I know there's more, but you're on top of it), and your bills are paid, you can take a little breath. Sit down (with the baby, of course) and start your lists.
These are the lists you need:
- Details of the cleaning that is yet to be done — guest areas and kitchen.
- Non-food items that you have to purchase: dress shoes for the boys, new kitchen towels (please resist the brown and orange ones or you'll have to start all over again in a week), a gravy boat (just get one — it's about time — it doesn't have to match), and candles (don't forget the ADVENT CANDLES — because yes, Advent starts next Sunday).
- Extremely specific menu plans for every instant from the moment your guests — including returning children — arrive. You need to try to picture in your mind exactly what you want to be serving for breakfast, lunch, appetizers, dinner, and snacks for the whole weekend. Then throw in a menu for the day before anyone arrives — something simple and quick like soup or pasta with ham and spinach. Your menu list should have three parts: the menus, organized by meal; the prep work for each meal, the better to delegate, since even the youngest child can peel a carrot or wash broccoli; and a shopping list. Arrange your shopping list by aisle and department.
You don't have to clean out your fridge because the power being out for five days recently necessitated a scouring that likely would not have occurred otherwise.
Oh wait, that was me.
If you had your power, then spend the next few days eating and throwing away, depending, whatever is in there.
Armed with your lists, you can easily tackle the rest. Here's how:
♦ What's really great about this particular dinner is that you can make almost all of it in advance. Since you are likely also having to feed your family on a regular basis until then (why? why do they need to be fed so often?), you probably won't be that housewife who calmly mixes herself a martini an hour before the guests arrive. But here are the things that you can do while you are getting through the non-holiday days:
If you can roast a turkey along with your Sunday dinner, do.
That allows you to have already carved meat and gravy, sparing you the last-minute frenzy. You can still roast one on the big day, but it will be mainly for show. One turkey isn't really enough for more than eight people anyway. Even a big one, which is mostly bones and cavity.
Cranberry sauce: Since this has to be cold anyway, make it right now. And yes, it's worth it, even if you just follow the directions on the package, leaving out the lemon zest, hand-picked hazelnuts, nori cultivated in special Japanese sea gardens, and/or varietal red wine reduction.
Canned cranberry sauce tastes like sugar (or more likely, corn syrup) that met a cranberry sometime in the distant past and can't really remember its name. And which one of us hasn't been smacking ourselves on the head on Thanksgiving morning, foreseeing all too clearly the inevitability of warm cranberry sauce, having forgotten about it until then?
While you are at it, make enough and freeze it. It's just so good.
Stuffing: Any time the oven is on, put a tray of cubed bread in there. There's a bag in my freezer…
Last night while I was making pizza, I got the cranberry sauce done, as well as a nice batch of onion confit, this time with figs, ginger, and coriander.
I was slicing onions anyway for the pizza, so I just saved a step and did a bunch. If all my dishes are pretty plain (but super yummy), the confit will be memorably interesting, and that will be enough. Even someone with twins could get that much done five days in advance! I guess. I've never had twins.
When the oven was still hot from the pizza, I put the sweet potatoes in (on a pan lined with foil, because don't do that to yourself — don't give yourself a pan of burnt sweet potato guts to deal with). Those can cool for however long it takes me — days, even — to peel them and toss them with butter and salt in a serving dish. Snap! Done.
When you make your dough for the rolls, make enough for several loaves of bread because what really matters about this holiday (I mean, other than the gratitude and all) is the sandwiches afterwards. For those, you need some really good bread! Freeze it so no one eats it before the right moment.
Look at your list and try to get a couple of things done each day. They will keep just fine in the fridge or the freezer — even, in the case of sweet potatoes, squash, beets, and such, on a cool shelf in the pantry for a day or two.
On Tuesday you can do your final shopping, knowing that your house is reasonably clean and if all else fails, you will have pie and stuffing with cranberry sauce.
On Thursday morning, make everyone take a long walk. If they stay inside, they will just get the house dirty. I won't say you'll have that martini, and that's probably just as well, but it's the best it will get until they are old enough to invite you to Thanksgiving dinner!
Other Thanksgiving posts:
Rosie's baking fail, super cute. Being pregnant and far from home excuses all.
Prep talk.
Not a “before”, but does include our fun game.
Thanksgiving is a proof of the existence of God, and more prep talk.
Joy says
I so enjoyed this post, Leila. For the first time in years, I don't have to cook Thanksgiving dinner but I love your advice. For instance, I didn't know you could freeze cranberry sauce. That just rocked my world. I always end up with too much for Thanksgiving and then don't know what to do with the rest after there is still too much left after a week of leftovers. Thank you!
“there is a direct correlation between children desperately needing you and your distractedness — this has been documented by countless women, or would have been if they could have found a pencil”
This is so true.
_Leila says
Joy, anyway, cranberry sauce (cooked) stays in the fridge just fine for months. It's basically a jam…
Charlotte says
You are a breath of common sense and practicality wrapped up in the loveliest of packages. I love how you encourage women to aspire to make things beautiful for their families but always with an eye towards what's realistic for their season in life. God bless you for that!
Anne Marie says
Finally! A HELPFUL Thanksgiving post! Off to clean those areas of the house that are cluttering my mind, then to nurse Baby and make lists. Thank you, Auntie Leila!
P.S. Mmm, your cranberries look so good. The eaters at your table are very fortunate. Be sure they know this!
Camille says
Hooray! I had a newborn (born Nov 21) three years ago and that year I learned to prep and prep and prep ahead! In fact, the only real cooking I do on Thanksgiving is the turkey! All the casseroles I make and freeze (in a Ziploc). I let them thaw Wednesday night and then dump in a dish and bake when ready. The desserts all get made a week ahead and frozen (pumpkin cheesecake is great for this). I make the stuffing in the Crock Pot so it's a no brainer! I wish I was this organized every day of the year! LOL And this year, I even managed to get my Advent candles all set. They are sitting on the buffet just waiting.
Anitra says
Stuffing in a crockpot sounds great! What's your recipe?
(I never had stuffing at Thanksgiving growing up… so I always resort to the mix-in-a-box. No more! I have plenty of dry bread!)
Chickensinmykitchen says
You are a genius, seriously. This has got to be the first helpful thing I've read about Thanksgiving since I was a newlywed who had time and money to make things involving home-toasted hazelnuts and pomegranate juice. Sending people your way to read this, as usual.
Glenda Chiders says
Wonderful, practical, fun with just the right amount of sarcasm. Perfect.
Fondly,
Glenda
justamouse says
So, so, perfect. I've learned all of this, but I've learned it all the hard way. Even though, every time I read your posts on things like this I am astonished at how you so insightfully write it out. You can read a how-too book and still run around in circles because not living it, they don't write the nuances that you, as a mom, have learned. You write those things that mean so much, but that most people never read about.
I love it. Thank you.
Anitra says
Thank you, THANK YOU! I took over hosting Thanksgiving years ago, after my husband's father died (the last holdout in the who-wants-the-married-kids-more hosting battle). And, for a couple of years, it was great! A bit stressful, but not too bad – and certainly not as bad as driving 2 hours, having a big dinner, and then needing to race out the door and drive another 2 hours to be with other family before driving 2 MORE hours back home. Bleh.
But then babies came along. With one, I still did OK. But last year, at 8 months pregnant and with a toddler running amuck, it started to get a bit hairy. And this year, it seems like it snuck up on me. “This week? What do you mean _this week_? We haven't even raked leaves yet?!?!” (We don't even have a complete guest list yet. Yikes!)
I am off to make lists and do some cleaning and laundry!
Monica says
Thanks so much for this post. I read your blog all the time because like this post it's so down to earth and Practical. Thanks for reminder to keep it simple. It really is about family.
Rabbit says
BEST. QUOTE. EVER.
“Complicated Thanksgiving recipes are creatures of magazine editors who sit around all year thinking up stuff for you to stress out about —
–and then get their own Thanksgiving dinners catered.”
Even for me without any kids and a small extended family. I don't want to rush around making crazy food! I want to SHARE THE DAY WITH MY FAMILY! Thank you Leila, for pointing out the obvious! xoxo
PS. I'm the RT'er @jentoinfinity 😉
Molly says
Ohhh, the tense paralysis that results from the vague sense of having too much to do. I know it well. Thank you for expressing it so neatly! Sometimes I just need my experiences as a mother of 6 children age 8 and under to be put into a well- turned phrase. I've been reading your blog for awhile, and really enjoy it! It provides inspiration for the journey. Happy Thanksgiving!
Laura Jeanne says
Thank you! Our Thanksgiving here in Canada was last month, but I am planning a big turkey dinner for Christmas so this is all very helpful. Especially the part about drying out the bread cubes in the oven…my mom always uses fairly soft bread (a little stale, but not actually dried out) and her stuffing is quite…extremely moist, sometimes even gloppy. It never even occurred to me to dry out the bread first!
As for needing two turkeys…that all depends on the size of the turkey. If you order one from a local farmer you can usually get a bigger one. My parents, for each Thanksgiving and Christmas, order a turkey from our farmer's market and they always ask for the biggest one possible. Usually they get a turkey that is around 30-35 pounds, I'm not kidding! It just barely squeezes into my mom's oven in a gigantic roasting pan. This mammoth turkey feeds about 20 people with leftovers.
Enormous turkeys tend to taste a little gamey, though, and the meat starts to get tough. I think doing two regular turkeys in two ovens at the same time would be perfect for a really large family. I hope you have two ovens, Leila…I hope to have two some day. I bake a lot and there have been many times I wished I could put bread in one oven and the roast and potatoes in another…
CMerie says
Thank you for this. We are hosting my BIL this year for the first time and I am so nervous. I'm not a great cook, and last year when I tried to do it myself, I completely ruined the stuffing. 🙁 This year we have a baby who is pretty needy thrown into the mix. Great reminder to take a deep breath and start planning (and maybe practicing too…)
Colleen says
Yes to the list-making! I also make a detailed list for Thanksgiving day, with notes on what needs to happen, literally minute by minute. That way if someone offers to help, I can tell him/her exactly what needs to be done – and – bonus of all bonuses, I don't forget to put something in the oven, take something out of the freezer, etc.
Mona says
Dear, dear, DEAR Auntie Leila, THANK YOU!!!!!
MamabearJD says
This post made my tummy flip a bit – last year I cooked for 30 people and though I was very organized about it, I worked myself to the bone and then got up the next day and decorated an Elmo cake….and then I ignored signs of mastitis (and tried to self treat) until I was quite sick. It took me a long time to get back to myself! Listen to Auntie Leila, sit down and NURSE THE BABY!
Grace says
Love it! Thanks for taking the time to write this all down. All I can say is that I'm damn happy that we cleaned the house today, baked 4 loaves of bread, and my eye wandered to all of the laundry hampers that are already brimming. I gave them the thought that maybe we should do the laundry ahead of time. I've got to get the girls on that! And you're reminding me that not only does Advent start shortly after Thanksgiving and Black Friday, but our 13th Anniversary is on Monday, too. Sheesh! Who planned that anyway? What can I say….I was young & dumb! Thanks again.;)
Heidi says
Excellent post – love the humor throughout. And I can say that, as a mother of twins, this year while they're 19 months old at Thanksgiving time, I *might* be able to pull off onion confit, although it would have been easier last year (when they were less mobile) and it will probably be easier next year (when they can be helpers).
Melanie B says
All I can say is that at the top of my list of things that I'm thankful for is my sister-in-law, whose children are all grown, who will cook and host Thanksgiving dinner. I'll bring something– a pie, some rolls– of course, because that is what good guests do; but it will undoubtedly be redundant because she always cooks several turkeys and enough sides to feed all the people on her guest list twice over. We've only hosted Thanksgiving once since we were married, the year our oldest was 6 months old. That was enough for a decade. I usually roast my own turkey some other weekend, either before or after Thanksgiving, because well, you don't get enough leftovers when someone else does the work. But that is much less stressful.
Lindsay says
Thank you! This post brings to mind my own mother's preparations, and they seem in the same vein. I am sad that I lost my own mother before I was in a place to fully appreciate and call upon her wisdom and experience, so I thank you for bringing to mind the memories. My mother did not toast stuffing bread in the oven, but on Monday or so, she laid out a couple of loaves of bread on pans on top of the china cabinet covered with a dish towel to dry out. I vividly recall being the one to cube the crunchy dry bread as well as dice the onions, celery, and carrots and all the veggies for the munchies before the meal was ready. I was quite young, I think, when I started cubing the bread for her.
_Leila says
Pippajo — your friend is German, right? I only have such a small smidge of German in me… Sigh. No cleaning genes to speak of.
I like the point about the things that don't need to be redone. Exactly.
Your sauce sounds good!
shwell says
Oh, what a great post, I read this yesterday and several things made me laugh out loud!. You are right why do they have to be fed between now and Thanksgiving, some days they seem to need too many meals, especially around the holidays. So I paid the Visa bill online, scheduled for after payday 🙂 but before the deadline, I do not need the late fee or the interest rate increase form missing a payment. THANKYOU so much for that piece of advice. I have triaged the laundry, including the load from 4 very muddy, but happy boys who went clam digging yesterday. So I plan to make clam chowder tomorrow and eat it once, then save it for dinner sometime over Thanksgiving, it will taste better by then and require no work!!. BUT, I have a 4th Birthday in my house on Wednesday, with a birthday menu(for each meal) all planned ahead by the almost 4 year old, and this year he can read the calender and there will be not putting it off till after the holiday……..Aaaaagggghhhh……I just wanted to says thanks and now I am off to clean my bedroom so it will be a haven in the next few days.
Jamie says
Dearest Auntie Leila, you never fail to order my thoughts and add wisdom to my days.
Jess says
Thank you so much for posting this! I just did a moderate clean of my apartment, and I feel good & ready for hosting Thanksgiving this week!
momco3 says
I laughed so hard at this– and myself– as I read it. Thank you.
I may read it again on Thursday morning…
Kris says
I love your blog! Been reading for close to a year & have never commented. But the “sweet potato guts” really cracked me up tonight & just had to say thanks for a really good laugh.
I am mama to 8 (ages 2-19) & have appreciated your household management & child rearing posts over the past year.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Theresa says
Leila, I love reading your posts. You remind me of what I will be like in twenty or so years. 🙂 When I read your posts, I am can take a deep breath and relax about the craziness of the week ahead. I am off to start the washing machine and make some lists! Thanks for your common sense!
Sue says
Alas, I am reading this when I should be hanging laundry – I'll get to it right away! :o)
Your beautiful cranberry photo almost made me drool! If only I could get some here. My eldest son suggested buying enough of the little cranberry plants they sell at the flower shops this time of year to make a modest batch of my own, but that certainly wouldn't be worth the cost. I guess we're stuck eating the canned version while dreaming of Auntie Leila's. :o)
_Leila says
Well, Sue, we do what we can! Get it, can??
🙂
I was being hyperbolic in the interest of livening up the post — canned is fine if you can't get anything else! Can you get turkey? Happy Thanksgiving!
Kara P. says
Auntie Leila, you are truelly a gift! It seems as if so many Thanksgiving articles are about why you should focus just on being thankful and let everything else fall into place (obviously they've never had one of my everyday dinners where I've actually tried this!) or as you said are full of impossibly perfect recipes/decorations/memory making activities. Thank you for being a voice of reason!
Lori says
Great minds think…
I've been thinking similar thoughts on my blog. You have such good things to share here. Thank you.
Margo says
The November magazines make me GAG this time of year. Thanks for a thoroughly helpful, interesting post with NO RECIPES!!!
I love your comments on the baby – when I was a new mother, I was so dismayed to realize that the baby didn't know it was a holiday! No sleeping in, no meals at odd times, sighhhhh I love your commonsense, loving approach to mothers with babies.
Now a pie question: I'm going to bake my pies Thanksgiving morning to take to our family gathering. Can I just make the pie dough and stick it in the fridge? If I make the crusts tomorrow (tuesday), should I freeze them or stick them in the fridge??
_Leila says
Yes, Margo, you can keep the pie dough in the fridge. I'm not sure if you mean that you will then bake them, but they will be fine either way, fridge or frozen.
Betsy M says
Auntie Leila, you know what I love about you. You tell me just what to do AND make me laugh. I really need both on a regular basis. It gives me a sense of calm and a reassurance that everything will be ok even if it is not done. My baby is sick, the oven just died, my house is mess (because of course the baby is sick and wants held) and I need to prepare the food, get packed and head our family to my folks for Thanksgiving. I just decided that everything will be just fine now that I have read your post. Thanks. I had better get going and get some bread in the bread machine. Thank goodness for extranious appliances.
By the way – what type of stove do you have and do you like it?
_Leila says
Betsy, I have a Frigidaire electric stove/convection oven. I would rather have a gas stove, but MY range died (about 10 years ago) — nothing could have made me happier, because I hated the old one — but I needed one that instant, obviously. We went to the outlet store and picked this one out. We don't have gas where we live, and would have had to wait to have propane put in. Next time I will get a propane one, I hope.
Other than the electric, I really love having a convection oven. I would love the kind that has a second oven where the dumb warming drawer is on this one, but otherwise, I like it a lot.
I'm glad you feel fine now 🙂 Take care of that baby and enjoy your holiday!
Betsy M says
Thanks for your input Leila. You reinforced what I was thinking. I am going to wait and get a gas line put in after the holiday vs. go with a range now that is electric. Pies will get baked elsewhere.
I hope you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Emily says
Oh my goodness, I could just die~ the practicality of these posts is so unbelievably delightful. Thank you for an honest-to-goodness helpful for the holidays post. And it's funny to boot!
Emily says
Auntie, I love this advice, but I do wonder (and I'll pose this to you and to my fellow readers): What to do when the only children of the household are 2 1/2 and 12 mos. old? I cannot seem to get a THING done on a normal day, let alone a day that I'm preparing to host Thanksgiving (just a small gathering, but still have to cover much of the same 'bases')! We are a “TV free household” so it's not really an option for me to put on a video to buy myself some time. Do you have any advice? Thank you for your ever-fresh wisdom!
Lori says
Can you get a girl or boy from a nearby family to come for a couple of hours to spend time with your children? You can get a lot done during that time if you get ready for it in advance. Otherwise, I think the key is to just keep doing everything in bits. Chop some onions and celery for stuffing while you are prepping tonight's supper, get up 30 minutes early and do one or two jobs for the next few days, etc. It's not an easy time without older, built-in child-carers, but if you let go of perfectionism and do what you can, you'll have a wonderful holiday AND a good week.
_Leila says
Emily, I like Lori's repy 🙂 I am hoping that you are not stressing out, because Thanksgiving can be very sweet without a ton of frills. I hope you have been brave and asked your guests to contribute, and will ask them when they arrive to help you with some last-minute tasks — they will love it!
Don't hesitate to take some shortcuts, knowing that in the years to come you will be able to do more and more. God bless you!
Ginger says
I for one got over the fact that even though I have this big beautiful home and I love love love to host big old parties, I just can't do it all anymore. At least not until my kids got older. I wish I had certainly figured it out sooner, and I am pretty sure my dear steady husband would say a hearty Yes Mam! I think that if you are like me and only have two children you often, and I do mean often, over committ your time. I think I would have been better off with three or more for I would have have been forced to realize my limitations.
Ginger says
I had to eliminate some things, but what?
Well a good principle for me was this? To discriminate between what I took pride in and what blessed others has been a life saver in choosing what to keep and what to discard (for now.) I take great pride in cooking from scratch an elaborate meal all by myself. Well that went ou tthe window, and others brought their pot lucky looking stuff and clutterend up my endless counter tops and you know what….It was as beautiful on the surface but the meal was so much more of a blessing to all. The next year I ordered the more delicious Thanksgving from Gelson's Market. it ennded up being less money than I usually spend and was the talk of the party.
Mrs. Pickles says
Dearest Auntie Leila, thank you thank you thank you for this post!! We are only having 2 houseguests, and I can't believe I was about to commit the homemaking sin of winging it for a major holiday. I am so grateful that you wrote this post — it helped me organize my thoughts about everything I wanted to do over the next few days. As soon as we came back from buying candles and extra socks, I processed the laundry, made myself a cup of tea, and wrote out all my lists! It was SO helpful. I feel much more at peace now that I have everything organized on paper. 🙂
You're like the big sister I always needed. mwah!
cirelo says
How did you know I don't have a gravy boat? Eerie.
I have multiple twins and I think I only manage by getting stuff done in advance. 🙂
Anne says
Do you know, its only been with this sixth baby that I learned that the nursing was for me, so that I wouldn't be exhausted. Isn't that terrible? FIVE babies nursed and on the sixth I figure it out. May God have mercy on me and my thick thick skull. 🙂 Happy Thanksgiving!
_Leila says
Yes, Anne, you put your finger on it. Nursing the baby makes you stop and sit down. Or lie down! The baby gets what he needs — so much more than just milk! And you get what you need. A rest!
Karen says
We had our Thanksgiving last month, but I do the family Christmas dinner. I am curious about the sweet potatoes. I haven't seen instructions and am wondering about the reheating. I like the idea of baking them ahead of time and if these can be reheated in the oven after the bird comes out, that's even better. Then I can make enough for lots of leftovers to fry in butter later in the week. We like the yellow fleshed ones, but they frequently blacken unless peeled under water. I agree with you about the cranberries. Just put everything in the pot and cook it -it doesn't need any improvement. I can it (like jam) so I make it a few weeks ahead of time and just stash a jar in the fridge right away.
Love your clearheaded approach to
_Leila says
Karen, I get my sweet potatoes all ready in their dish, sliced up (after roasting and cooling days before and then peeling), pour over them butter, salt, a little orange juice, brown sugar, and bourbon all boiled together quickly, and keep them in a cool place. On the day, while the bird is resting and the gravy is being made, they are in the oven getting nice and hot. Perfect. I have noticed the blackening sometimes too, but those parts can be cut away or if not too bad, tucked under more attractive slices.
Katherine Lauer says
Fabulous post, Leila. Humorous and full of wisdom. I am an LLL leader and I think that LLL has put too much emphasis on that a mother's sole job is to nurse the baby and everything else can turn to chaos. Thank you for showing us the way back to some light and civility–while still nursing our sweet babies! I, for one, will be hosting Thanksgiving with my littlest one riding on my back in the Ergo. 🙂 And I'll be using my grandmother's gorgeous linen and silver because if we don't do that, when will we ever? Time to enjoy it!
Mamabearjd says
If you fry turkeys, you need to plan ahead for gravy. Roast chickens ahead of time and then scrape your pan with chicken broth and freeze that for turkey day, or go ahead and make a really rich gravy to freeze and then adjust the day of. It sounds crazy but it works so well. I am wary of freezing many things but this is an awesome trick.
Just adding that because I hear lots of people giving it a try, and I learned the first time – duh – you fry, you have no drippings.
Shauna says
I just re-read this over the weekend (and your other Thanksgiving posts, too) as I started to gear up for my in-laws visiting for a week – arriving on Wednesday – and hosting 11 for Thanksgiving dinner. And, by the way, I'm 7 months pregnant. So feeling a little overwhelmed, but I knew your sensible advice would calm me down! I've got my lists in hand and my husband's help (and our 3-year-old, who may not be too much help!) today to do the big grocery shopping trip (plus all those other things you inevitably need when guests will be staying…). So, anyway, thank you! Now, I just need to find a good cornbread dressing recipe. Because I always wait until I'm feeding a crowd to try something I've never done before.
Lori says
I remember reading this last year and my initial surprise at the very first advice to schedule in the baby nursing. Then I thought back 16 years to when I was nursing my last baby and thought, “Of course! I remember how that became necessary during the crunch times!” And I laughed all over again at the jibe at the “home” magazines! Thanks for your reasonable advice.
Mel says
This is why I love you, dear…because you *get* that my children will unset the table and that people will eat things I don't want them to eat unless I hide it in the freezer. Can't find advice that true in Better Homes and Gardens.
M Murray says
I am so, SO glad I happened upon this blog recently. It is wonderful. AND I think that a Thanksgiving dinner of pie, stuffing and cranberry sauce would be FANTASTIC!!!
M Murray says
Can I ask you about that beautiful white bed frame in the pictures above? Is it an antique? I absolutely love it!
Laura says
I just LOVE you!
micaeladarr says
I seriously love this post. I laughed from beginning to end. Great advice, too. 🙂
Whitney says
Just wanted to say, I used this last year for Thanksgiving. It was my first Thanksgiving, we had 12 people over, including in-laws who traveled half way across the world to have their first Thanksgiving, and first time I ever cooked for them. No pressure.
It went off flawlessly.
Husband and I also realized how important this blog is to us when I said, “We have to get a gravy boat.”
He asked, “Why?”
I said, “Because Auntie Leila said so.”
And we drove off to acquire one without further discussion.
Elinor Dashwood says
Better plan: stuffing from the box, gravy from the jar, cranberry sauce from the can. The green-bean goo the boys all seem to like practically puts itself together. Push the turkey into the oven and then pull it out five hours later. Don’t invite anybody over. DONE.
Anna says
I knew I had read a really good post about how to get ready for Thanksgiving! My sister and I are cooking this year for the first time (my mom handed the baton to us), and I combed my head for where I had read about how to do it (it was some time ago… I’m not sure how long). The thing that had stuck in my mind was that I was sure that it started with dessert as the first thing, i.e. the pie crust. I checked one other blog that sometimes has practical holiday kitchen tips and then remembered it was Auntie Leila! And sure enough, a list that started with to-do’s days ahead of time, acknowledged small children’s needs, and did start with the pie crust. This is the one! So just know that eleven years later, this post is still holiday-saving useful and helpful. I just reread it and will plan to study it in preparation. I’m excited! I have a plan! Thank you.
Leila says
Oh, wonderful! I’m so glad!