This morning after Mass I found out that my friend is going to North Dakota to visit her son, daughter-in-law, and new baby granddaughter, who is in the NICU with underweight, difficult body temperature, and possible kidney issues.
I came home and felt that, even if it means that she has to use it as a headrest on the plane or wrap it around herself as a cape (I wonder what they would make of that in the security line?) she has to take the baby a quilt. An emergency quilt.
I am so glad that I never had to deal with the issue of a premature baby, because I know that I would have experienced internal combustion of some sort. I would have blown a gasket! Hospital routines based on the assumption that babies don't need to be touched make me instantly insane, and as I believe I am already perceived as overwhelming or somehow hard to deal with in such a setting, and maybe everywhere else for all I know, I don't know how it would have gone.
My friend fortunately is more smilingly persuasive — as opposed to intensely demanding — and she is on the Kangaroo-care warpath, and I mean warpath in the least aggressive yet effective way possible. Her kids are willing, but exhausted. They need her!
Are you familiar with Kangaroo Care?
I am not sure why they can't call it Human Being Care, but if it gets the point across, so be it. It's a good point: Babies need touch, even in situations that seem dire. In this case, the baby needs to nurse, but the hospital routine keeps the mother at a distance! Well, that's not going to work.
To assist my friend, I need to send a quilt. A quilt in the hospital says, “I am taken care of and nurtured. Know that the mom who put this here wants to hold me!”
I wish every patient could have a homemade quilt, but I'm not fast enough. I'm so impressed with people I read about who produce quilts, blankets, knit caps, and all sorts of wonderful caring supplies in great quantity.
As for little old slowpoke me, I just happened to have a 2/3 finished quilt in my stash.
Yes, I did.
Why? Well, it's like this. I'm a little… odd about parting with my scraps of fabric and finished objects.
So a while ago I thought, well, if I'm making a little log-cabin quilt with precious scraps, why not make two?
Assembly-line principles indicate that it's not that much harder to make eight squares than four, or, if sewing them together into a top, go ahead and do the second. While you are at it, sandwich it up and baste it.
So it's been there, awaiting the right moment. It's just a little baby quilt. I gave the other one to a faraway friend when her little one was born. Now I feel, as I've mentioned before, a little behind on quilts! But the quilt has to fit the child, you know?
Well, in any case, this morning I decided (with Bridget's encouragement) that I could get this done before the flight tomorrow.
It needed to be quilted.
The thread that was on my machine — for another project I'll show you soon — was just right — green for the top and pink for the bobbin (backing). I was using the pink because I'm a believer in using up your odd colors for work where the back isn't going to show, and the dusty pink isn't in high demand here. But it's perfect for this quilt.
I do not have any idea what the crud there on top of my machine is, and I don't want to go back and find out! |
In the wooden bin that fits perfectly on the bottom shelf, I keep my Scraps of Unpresentability.
{I truly have trouble letting go of fabric, I'm telling you! There are things in there you would not believe. However, it's just this one bin. And maybe a little bit more on another little shelf… and the bag of scraps for my scrappy quilt that I started before I learned to knit, and needed a really portable quilting project. But that is all. It's under control.
Really.}
So in the box are the leftovers from the binding of Quilt A. But not quite enough….
But!
I also had scraps of the fabric itself! Not very much, mind you.
Could I get about 40 more inches of bias binding out of this?
Why yes!
And that is why I don't throw anything away.
{Not that I would throw away one useable square inch of this adorable fabric.}
Okay. Binding. Hand sewing to finish — allowing me to do a little French with the Bridgeration.
Must. home. school.
Throw it in the washer so it's sweet smelling and fresh for that little darling.
I'm off to make a quilt delivery! I hope they don't already have one. Well, I hope they do… but you know. And I hope I don't hear any nonsense about carry-on baggage limits. It's just a tiny quilt….
About Kangaroo Care: We simply have to temper our tremendous knowledge of medicine with the truth that babies need their mamas, if at all possible — even if they are tiny and vulnerable.
Of course there are some instances where it just can't be. I myself was on life support with my Will, and unable to hold him for days! Fortunately the Chief was there, making his anxious way between my bed and the bassinet in the NICU where the baby was receiving oxygen.
But there are many more where it can be and ought to be — even as mamas have gotten further and further from knowing what to do, even with a healthy thriving baby.
It's as if, having produced parents who retain little or no instinct for child care, the experts then proceed with the conviction that the parents are incompetent! Well, yes, but — they can learn! With encouragement, the mothers will take the babies back into their arms, preferably with baby's skin against their own!
We have to recover our inner kangaroo or whatever you want to call the nurturing link between the parents and the child! The site I linked to above is one of the first I came across.
If you have links or experiences you would like to share about taking care of a newborn in distress and helping hospital personnel to see the virtue of keeping baby close to mama, please leave a comment!
Pippajo says
I had two babies in the NICU and I can tell you:
1. It was hard not to combust, but God is good and merciful.
2. I was tremendously grateful to be in a NICU where I was encouraged to hold and care for my babies as much as possible.
3. The gift of a quilt like that would have been priceless! What an encouragement it will be and what a treasure for that sweet child to hold on to. I have a quilt that a cousin made and gave me when I was on bedrest in the hospital with Man-Cub. It's on my couch this very moment and we use it nearly every day!
Saying a prayer for baby and family…
priest's wife says
a beautiful quilt!
one thing- seeing my baby and pumping was nearly impossible (she was in for 5 weeks- and we nursed for only 6 months)- make sure the new mom is able to pump- maybe even while holding the baby in the NICU- they can put the mama milk in with the formula (probably the baby is on iv right now- but hopefully not for long)
Alanna says
The quilt is beautiful! And I'm praying for the little one, and her family…I can't imagine the stress.
100% convinced that Kangaroo Care is essential, and not just for sick babies, all babies, and small children, need it! It just looks a little different with a rough and tumble three year old boy!
Breanna says
As a nurse–I want to believe that most nurses really, truly WANT to help Mama be with baby. It helps to be sneaky and manipulative. Like so:
“I know you're really busy right now, but I was wondering if I could just put a stool right here so I could hold the baby and she could still be attached to her monitors” or “If I could just sit here out of your way so that I can put my hand on her back” or “Would there be any way I can just be here with her? I'd be happy to step out if you need me to”.
Hospitals are really not, except in certain circumstances, the best way to deliver medical care. I'm convinced they're a relic of the same mindset that produced orphanages and homes for the deaf and so forth–and they'll go away someday, to be replaced by something more individualized. Ask any hospital administrator–most of them are in trouble!
Rachelle says
I'm a Registered Nurse who works in the nursery of a hospital in Utah. We love kangaroo care here! When each baby is born, they are quickly placed skin-to-skin with their mother to be warm, bond, and start nursing (provided they are breathing well and all that other fun stuff). I'm a firm believer that nothing helps a new mom and baby more than to be snuggled up together, skin-to-skin, as they should be. Thanks for this post! I'm thankful that you're helping more moms learn about this so that they can be advocates for their babies.
Laura Jeanne says
What a wonderful gift of love for that poor little baby! You're a good person, Auntie Leila. 🙂
I have to say also, that that is possibly the most beautiful quilt I've ever seen. I mean it! I adore those types of delicate prints in pinks and greens. The darker binding fabric is perfect. And that fabric with the little churches, how cute is that? (It's hard to find nice quilting fabric in greens, I've found.) I've never made anything bigger than a doll quilt yet, but I have been planning on making a quilt for my youngest daughter, who is 5 months old right now. I wanted to make it with delicate looking prints in pink and green, so your quilt is a great inspiration for me. Thank you for posting this! And thank you for giving me someone to look up to!
_Leila says
Laura Jeanne, I love that green fabric with the little churches too, but you know, it ended up being hard to use! Not really girly, not really boy-y, not grown up, not little…
I'm glad you like it 🙂
Sara says
I love the colors of the quilt–one of my favorite combination, pinks & greens. My 2 year old has a crib quilt in that combo & I love it. Maybe someday I'll get around to making one for each of my newborn twin girls–well…it might take a few years, so I'd better make them lap quilts. I loved snuggling up to my twins in the hospital–they were 37 weeks, so not exactly preemie, but I got to hold the smaller one (4lb. 11oz) while I was waiting to push out Twin B. Even though they are number 5 & 6 there is nothing like snuggling a newborn next to your skin. I hope your friend's children are able to have that time with their newborn.
Rachel says
Just adding another positive comment about a NICU experience…our preemie twins were in there and we were encouraged from the get-go to touch, hold, nurse as much as possible. Our hospital had ladies who knitted caps for all the NICU babies and quilted crib quilts, and the nurses stenciled each child's name on a very creative name plaque hanging on their bed…so every isolette looked unique and beautiful. We were never made to feel as if we were in the way or hanging around too much. The nurses even set up portable screens if we wanted to nurse them (as we had to keep them attached to the monitors and it's very hard to nurse a very little baby modestly).
I'm sure your gesture of love will brighten these parents' day…and their corner of the NICU!
kelley chavez says
Love the quilt! Beautiful and comforting!
Kh. Patty says
Oh, I just know I would be the same way with a preemie. Internal combustion over not being able to hold my baby and nurse as much as the baby can manage…. I didn't even have a preemie in my first and they did the bath thing which of course lowered her temp. My husband was with her and they didn't let him TOUCH her because he was “blocking the heat.” ARGH. I hope to have enough presence of mind (should I ever deliver in a hospital again) to forbid the bath in the first 24 hrs and request that we try skin-to-skin before heat lamps!
Kate says
I hadn't heard of Kangaroo Care, but I practiced it instinctively with my last baby. After four homebirths, I had a hospital birth and the baby was admitted to NICU because of low body temperature. Once I knew they weren't gong to release him until the three days of testing were done, I stayed there (except during shift changes). There was no bed, but I camped out in the rocking chair and kept my baby in my lap (hooked up to the monitors), nursed him, changed his diaper, fell asleep with him. Once, during the arrival of a new nurse, the NICU nurse on duty was explaining the needs of the other babies to her and when she got to my baby she said briefly, “And she (pointing to me) takes care of him.” I just felt so very heartsore for those other babies whose parents I rarely saw. But I really admired the care most of the nurses gave with their limited time.
KerichoJoy says
I have no personal experiences to share but I love the fact that you thought of the little one for the quilt. May it be used and loved as it was offered in love.
Elizabeth says
The quilt is beautiful, and the extra push to get it finished and sent off sure helps to make it easier to part with. What a thoughtful gift!
Mary says
Beautiful quilt, beautiful sentiment: “I don't know why we don't just call it Human Being Care” !!! I too firmly believe that every possible scrap of fabric will eventually have a use…
Samantha says
What a beautiful quilt! It will be cherished.
My daughter was a preemie and spent 26 days in the NICU. The nurses were absolutely wonderful and encourged us to spend as much time as possible touching and holding her. And they were very helpful when it came to working out the nursing piece – our little 3 pound peanut would tire quickly and needed a combination of nursing and a bottle with pumped breastmilk. I still have the little knit cap she recieved there.
Lisa G. says
What a beautiful quilt – and the little churches in it! Also, the floral wallpaper stripe – so pretty!
Your sewing area is terribly organized and NEAT – it's what I aspire to. I hope the child will be all right soon – praying.
Amy says
My twins, who were born at 35 weeks and about 4 1/2 pounds ended up in Children's Hospital Boston with RSV when they were just 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 weeks, for 3 weeks and 2 weeks respectively. I certainly touched my twins while they were in there, but I only got to kangaroo hold my son 1 time and didn't with my daughter who was vented for 6 days. I loved the kangaroo hold. It was amazing to have that skin to skin contact. It took 4-5 days for me to finally be able to hold my daughter and that was amazing, even though I had been holding them prior to them going into the hospital. When my twins were born at Mt Auburn, they were given fleece balankets that an elderly woman donated to teh level II nursery. When I came home I used my sewing machine to embroider their name and birth info on them and at 2 1/2 my son uses it as his blanket to sleep with (I used to be able to swaddle them in these blankets). That quilt is beautiful and will be loved for many years I'm sure!
priest's wife says
One more thing about NICUs- I was blessed to have my baby at the hospital NICU where my husband works and was only ten minutes from my house. Although I had other kids to care for, I was there for 2 visits a day (so I met both nurses every day)
There were many parents who couldn't see their babies every day because they lived so far from the hospital (not every regional hospital has such an advanced NICU, or a NICU at all)—they had children to care for at home and the father- at least- had to work. I had to fight to have 2 weeks off after my baby came home from the NICU because I had 'used up' my time while she was in the hospital. So= prayers to these special parents and babies- it isn't easy!
designlancaster says
What inspiration for saving scraps! I too cannot bear to throw them away. And as hard as I work at using up my fabric, my stash does not seem to go down.
I'm so touched that the baby and parents get to have such a pretty pretty quilt with the extra bonus of love and prayers in it. You are a lovely person, Auntie Leila.
Tina says
You know, there are several reliable reports (I can't remember the specifics right now) of babies born very early and pronounced still born, who were found after several hours skin to skin with Mom to in fact be alive! Most were cases of Mom being allowed to hold baby to grieve as long as she wanted, but she started to notice small movements and breaths that she at first dismissed as her imagination.
Kangaroo care and close contact with a body are life-giving to small babies. Both babies with challenges and bigger, older babies who have turned into challenges themselves.
Jamie says
When our new baby was back in the hospital with a serious infection, my husband had to take over mother duties while I waited in the waiting room because the hospital staff thought I was “not handling” things well. Nonsense! I was sent the social psychologist to “help” me. Meanwhile, I'm thinking,” My week-old baby is in the ICU strapped up to machinery behind glass and I'm not allowed to even be in the same room and no one will tell us what is going on!” Someone ought to counsel hospital staff on how to talk to mature adult parents. You wouldn't believe how that day went. By mature I mean able- to – handle- the -truth-just- give -it -to -me- straight mature. So frustrating.
We made it through the experience. The treatment took years and she is now a healthy 18-year old. I would have loved to have had a quilt draped around my shoulders by you and a “let's just go sit out here, honey.Your husband can handle it and he'll tell you what's going on as soon as he sorts it out” speech.
Serena says
Thank God my girls were healthy, and the hospital we were at expected lots of skin to skin contact for all babies, healthy or not. My dad was slightly sad that there was no nursery so he wasn't able to peer at all the cute babies, but was so glad that the girls were with me at all times. After 9 mo of together time I couldn't imagine not having them right there, let alone tucked behind plastic w/ tubes… prayers for your friend's family!
Jackie says
God bless you for such a wonderful gesture! I'm sure the quilt will be appreciated by the family. It is beautiful!!
Heather says
This is beautiful, both the quilt and the sentiment, and it moves me to tears! My first baby was in NICU for 6 days and they remain the darkest days of my life. It is a place that will suck the life out of you. There were a few bright lights during those long, long days and I remember each of them so very well. This quilt will bring light and will be such a blessing!
Many wonderful NICUs are being set up now where there are accommodations for the parents to room in and even sleep overnight with the baby. This is such a good and necessary thing.
Our NICU situation was not like that. We had “visiting hours” and got one hard chair next to the baby's bassinet in a huge room that was a sea of bassinets. My #1 recommendation to mamas with a NICU baby is to go in each day with two blankets – when you must leave, leave the baby wrapped in one, and take the other with you. Cuddle your baby's blanket, soak in the newborn smell, and wipe your tears with it as you try to sleep that night. Switch blankets each day and your baby will always be able to smell mama and mama will always be able to smell baby. It brings comfort to a hurting heart.
For the visiting grandmother… new mamas need mothering, especially under such high pressure circumstances. The baby has a herd or doctors and nurses looking out for her. Mama often has no one. Please look out for this new mama. Make sure she is able to take care of her own basic needs – bring her food, water, chocolate, a pillow, a toothbrush, anything to bring comfort. Listen to her. Hug her. Mother her, but don't smother her.
That is what I wish I had had anyway.
Beckie says
oh, Auntie Leila, I just love you. You make me a better mom. You feed my need for seasoned wisdom as my own sweet mama is gone on to heaven. Thank you for putting you out there.
Betsy M says
St. Gianna is a wonderful intercessor for sick little babies. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gianna_Beretta_Molla
When my first baby was born 4 weeks early (but perfectly healthy) I was an emotional wreck worrying about her. My heart goes out to your friend's grandbaby and all you other ladies who had little ones in a NICU. Oh and Leila, that is so sweet of you to make the quilt. It is beautiful.
Natasha says
You are incredible!!! An overnight quilt. Oh my goodness. How do you do it?!?!? And it is so pretty. I love the little church and little girl pieces. Praying for the little one.
laurie says
You are so sweet! When we lost our baby a few years ago, the nurse came in with the tiniest cap and blanket for him. To think that there was someone out there who cared like that… it is one of the memories I hold dear.
Paula says
I had my youngest one prematurely on purpose, so I could tend to some aggressive cancer tumors. Beforehand, I thought I would be distraught at having him in NICU. This was my seventh baby, and I am very much a hands-on mommy (nurse on demand, co-sleep, babywear). But when the time came, I could see that he so clearly needed to be there. I had peace about his being there. I simply did not have what he needed – at that point. He was worn out by any handling. I did what I could. Holding my hand on his back and talking to him for several hours a day. As time went on, he improved, and praise God, he is a healthy 21-month-old, and I'm healthy too.
My own experience with the NICU staff was positive. But I think the biggest thing to remember as a new parent in the hospital, is that the baby is yours. Some hospital staff forget this, as they take responsibility for the baby's care. It's not a bad thing; you want them to invest in your child. But remember in the end it is your child, not theirs. You should understand what they are doing (in non-emergency situations) and you can make decisions that affect the child's care.
I'll pray for the sweet little one who is struggling.
_Leila says
Paula, I know what you mean. When Will was taken away from me, I could only just barely put him in God's hands. That was it. He needed oxygen but really they kept him in the NICU so that he wouldn't be sent home before me! Can you imagine THAT scenario? The newborn home and the mama in the hospital?
Shannon says
Thank you for sharing this, so many people need to know they have rights in a hospital and that includes deciding what is the best care and caregiver for their babies. It pays to ask about premie care when looking at your hospital and your Dr. I was blessed with healthy babies, and a mom that spent the night with me. For some reason the nurses at my hospital decided to pull all the babies at midnight every night to monitor vitals, bath whatever each baby needed, and would just line them all up in the nursery and then leave them their until they finished with them all. My baby had grandma, mom, or dad with her at all times, it was amazing how she was in and out in less than 15 min. While some other babies where just criing and criing being given pacifiers or bottles, or ignored as their where many more babies than nurses present.
So glad grandma is going to help this precious little girl.
Meredith_in_Aus says
http://largefamilylogistics.lifewithchrist.org/pe…
This link is to Kim Brenneman from Large Family Logistics when she was in hospital with her 24-weeker doing kangaroo care. She has lots of info about it and her story is inspiring. Hope it is of help to someone.
In Him
Meredith in Aus
PS I love your blog!
Lori N from MN says
My granddaughter was in the NICU for 10 days in tiny Duluth, MN this past November… and they have a large supply of handmade quilts backed with flannel for all the babies to use while there. The quilts are washed just like all the hospital linens, they stay in the NICU and are rotated daily… They are soft and comforting – not only for baby!
I just want to add to Heather (above) – you give wonderfully poignant advice. I can feel your pain… and I wish you didn't have to experience that. Thank you!
Rebekah says
This is lovely! I've never heard the term “Kangaroo Care”– like you said, I just thought it was common sense “Human Being Care.” 🙂
Have you ever seen this Monty Python skit? Your comments on “incompetent” parents made me laugh and think of it.
Jill says
I'm a nurse and we love and encourage skin-to-skin care, so many benefits, the problem is finding willing mommies…
Lisa says
Perfect gift. My son was 10 weeks early and in the NICU for a month. Not only is your quilt good for kangaroo care, but also for draping over the isolate to muffle out all the noise and light of the NICU. Those units can be awfully loud and bright light the sun 24 hours a day and that stim is just too much for those half baked sensory symptoms.
Prayers for your friend and baby. I hope the stay is short and easy.
RubberChickenGirl says
I was hospitalized 6 weeks with my fourth for placenta previa. You have to live with the lights, the noise and, for adults, the invasion of privacy, to get how terrible it is for your health.
RCG
Anne says
I can't read all of these posts about premature babies, or I'll start my day weeping!
Your quilt came out very cute! I just love that green fabric with the little girls on it…doesn't Sukie have some of that on her camera case?
Also, when Ann was hospitalized as an 8 day old, I sat in the hospital and “kagaroo-d” her for 4 days. Despite the place and circumstance (including cumbersum wiring), those are sweet memories. I am grateful that I had that time to just sit and hold my baby with her sweet little cheek pressed against my chest.
justamouse says
Yay, you finished! AND squeezed French in!
Your organization of scraps inspires me, as mine are in a white plastic garbage bag. I have to fix that, I suppose.
I totally believe in Kangaroo care, not that my children spent time in the NICU, but one of the twins was a *very* slow weight gainer ( Iwas threatened that if she didn't fatten up, she'd have to go into the hosp for a tube) and the only way I could get her to eat well was to wear her all day long. She would be in a sling while I carried her sister over my shoulder. So Amen to Kangaroo care. Thank you so much for passing this wisdom along to a new generation.
Intensely demanding, yeah, that describes me, too. Is it such a bad thing? 😉
RubberChickenGirl says
Many favorites today, but I quote:
“…as I believe I am already perceived as overwhelming or somehow hard to deal with in such a setting, and maybe everywhere else for all I know, I don't know how it would have gone.”
HAHAHAHAHA!! I can relate.
If I had fabric with little churches and tiny old fashioned girls with hoes I wouldn't want to part with it either.;O)
I just wanted to cry the whole post with the lovely thought of the baby *needing* this quilt as a stand in for Mommy.
RCG
Wendy in VA says
Our fourth child was a 26-weeker who spent 90 days in two different NICUs (first 6 weeks and a few days at UVA, where she was born, and the second 6 weeks in the NICU at our local hospital). We were blessed with great care at both NICUs, and with doctors and nurses who believed wholeheartedly in the benefits of skin-to-skin contact. I have no doubt that part of the reason she was able to come home without oxygen, monitors, or meds was because we were encouraged to touch/hold (and I to nurse, and to talk, read, and sing to) her as often as she could tolerate. Her heart rate and oxygen levels would stabilize every time — it was absolutely amazing. The other part was prayer. :o) That quilt will be treasured by that precious baby's momma, and by that baby in years to come. It's beautiful!
Pam says
Leila,
I'm so very proud of you for pulling that quilt together on short notice. I'm certain that all who encounter that quilt will feel not only your love, but God's.
Much love to you,
Pam
Haus Frau says
My first was a preemie. 24 weeks. He's amazing! Anyway, there was one nurse who didn't want us touching him at all. I never bought it. I always snuck my (very sanitized hand) into the isolette to let him grip the tip of my pinkie finger (that was the size of his hand). It turns out that all the other nurses were on my side!
Thank you for being such a blessing to that new family. They need every bit of normalcy, every bit of homelike goodness they can get, and a new baby quilt is just perfect.
Lyndsey says
Bless you for doing that! Having a wee one in the NICU is so traumatic for everyone involved. When my son was born premature he was in the NICU for 5 weeks, and it was the hardest time of our lives. It seemed like no one knew if they should congratulate us on his birth, or give condolences for the circumstances. As a result, most people said/did very little to acknowledge the birth. It was a very scary, very isolating time, and I know I would have cherished both the blanket, and the sentiment behind it. Bless you! Just fyi, our little 4 pounder is now a sweet, healthy, normal 2 year old. 🙂
ArdenLynn says
Had my 8th baby at 27 weeks so we spent a lot of time in the NICU and it wasn't anything like you describe. It was awful and stressful but made so much better by the nurses and drs. In a healthy infant, there isn't much a mama can't make better. That is not the case with preemies. They need some things mama can't provide.
The nurses kept his incubator covered and lights low, I did the diaper changes and bathing. And I sat and read a lot. My guy would desat with too much stimulation.
I have had homebirth, hospital birth, c-sect, vbac, extended breastfeeding and formula feeding. I have found no difference in emotional attachment, long term health or behavior differences in my crew.
Natalie says
i also love your craft space! it's so cozy and inspiring…
please write a book!:) haha, i've gleaned so much from your practical posts on cleaning, menu planning, laundry, and showering:)–seriously! When your husband told you stop posting on laundry for a while i laughed so hard b/c i was loving the posts on laundry!!! 🙂
Rachel P. says
The quilt is lovely and the baby it will snuggle is very lucky to have you concerned enough to send it. As for the touch of a mother, I remember my first baby, nestled quietly in my arms as I rocked him in the hospital and the nurse bustling in. She scoffed and told me I should put that baby in the bassinet and let him learn to sleep on his own or I would spoil him. I had a tiger-momma moment right there and told the woman she had no business telling me what to do with my child. It was a clear change from the wide-eyed child-woman I was only an hour before that incident to the strong, loving mommy I am today. Good for you, Leila, advocating a mother's involvement even in a desperate situation.
Emily says
Our first boy was born 6 weeks early, and only had to be in the NICU for 6 days – thank goodness! He was a big boy compared to many there, but breathed on his own and was so strong. It was hard to see him in that plastic box, but we had heard & read much about skin-to-skin contact being good for preemies and the nursing staff was really nice to us. I hope your friends appreciate your work and your comfort, and that their baby is getting stronger every minute. 🙂
Rachel says
I was diagnosed w/ severe PPD 4 months after my youngest daughter was born(she's 14 months now and I'm close to being me again). It took so long to be diagnosed b/c we bonded so easily and well; that's rare w/ PPD. I know had I not spent the majority of the time we were in the hospital utilizing “kangaroo care” it wouldn't have happened. I loved her so much right away and she loved me. Having that precious bonding time saved our relationship. It helped her be so amazing breast-feeding right off the bat too. Now, I'm the only one she ever really wants to hold her. I'm the only she wants when she's upset. I think skin-to-skin contact helps the mother just as much as it helps the baby. I'm grateful for it.
Amy says
Hi Leila,
First, I love your quilt and your heart. I love your comment, “A quilt in the hospital says, 'I am taken care of and nurtured. Know that the mom who put this here wants to hold me!'” My oldest little guy was in the NICU for 3 and a half months, after I'd been in the hospital for 6 weeks (my water broke at 21 weeks). I did not see him until about an hour after he was born, they weren't sure if he was going to even be alive when he was born. I then saw him briefly before they took him to the NICU, long enough for him to squeeze my finger with his tiny hand, and then I couldn't see him for a couple days or so b/c I was so weak from being in the hospital so long (this was crushing to the uttermost!). We weren't allowed to hold him for 3 weeks, and then for only 5 minutes here and there. He was very fragile. After quite some time we were allowed to do Kangaroo Care. I’d forgotten that memory, but as I think about it, I remember his tiny tiny warm body resting against my own, all tubes and cords attached to him still, but both of us resting as it always should have been. Those were precious moments, and I think I needed it as much as he did!
Anyhow, your comment about the quilt in the hospital immediately sent my memory back to seeing his little blue blanket draped over his isolet when we'd come and go. My mother had been working on a baby quilt that she hesitated to give us, not knowing if he would make it or not. We quickly replaced the blue one the hospital had given us with one from his grandma. His isolet quickly became the cutest sweetest one in the room! 😉 After I read your post, I realized that it held my baby when I could not. This is a very comforting thought. Thank you, and we’ll be praying for your friend’s baby. By the way, our son is 8 now, and apart from being a little short, he is as healthy as can be. 😉 Praise God!
Amy
Johane_Levesque says
Hi,
I'm very familiar with Kangaroo Care. I found it not only useful with babies in NICU, but also once I got home, when they developed a fever. If the fever was low (about 38C) before reaching for any medicine, I would do some Kangaroo Care. If it was high (about 39C) I would give a dose of Tylenol and do Kangaroo Care as well to quickly bring the temperature down and to keep it down. I always kept a close eye on the situation, and if it was ever needed, I was not shy to reach for the medicine or go to the doctor's. Oddly enough, they rarely ever needed the medicine. So much so, even with four kids, sometimes the Tylenol would expire!
You're right too, quilts are made for specific babies. Very much like a person doesn't adopt a cat into their family, the cat adopts the person into their clan. 😉 With such a beautiful quilt, I'm sure that the baby will adore it and that the hospital will easily understand that this baby needs to be held by her mom. Sending prayers.
Johane
Sheila says
You might share this link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1306283…
Kangaroo care saved that baby's life!
Karen says
Kangaroo care is great and I don't think you will find a NICU nurse or neonatalogist that will say otherwise.
But.
Some babies are just too sick to be held and being moved and handled stresses them more. As a mother it *killed* me to be able to do nothing but hold my son's hands and feet but he couldn't be held. He needed 100% oxygen delivered by hood more than he needed to be snuggled with me. Holding him would have been what was best for me, not him.
Before anyone goes on a warpath about KC they need to make sure that it is truly what would be best for *that baby* because it isn't always.
_Leila says
Karen, unfortunately there are whole hospitals that don't have a clue about kangaroo care, including the one my friend's granddaughter was born in, and obviously many of those the commenters are telling us about. If all those who care for babies understood and encouraged contact between the newborn and the mother, then the parents would have no trouble with accepting circumstances that warranted intervention or some other course. As I mentioned in my post was the case with me, sometimes it's the mom who can't provide the contact. When Kangaroo care is the norm, then we can all relax!
jen says
My son was born by emergency c-section at 29 weeks so it was at least 3 weeks before I got to actually hold him. Once I could, I tried to do as much kangaroo care with him as I could. The way it worked for us was that I would strip to my bra and he would just be in a diaper with a blanket wrapped around the two of us. There was nothing sweeter than when he'd fall asleep on my chest. His heart rate and general health were best the days we did it and it helped him learn to regulate his temperature — he transitioned beds shortly after we started doing it.
The doctors in Colombia who discovered its benefits were the ones who named it. I think “koala” care would be more accurate.
nilzed says
If you ever get the chance to read “Call the Midwife” by Jennifer Worth (about a mid-wife in East London post WWII), skim through first of all and read the story of the lady with the premature baby. It's an amazing story of instinct. A baby born at 24-28 weeks. (Those who had babies before ultra-sound will remember how unsure the doctors might be about exactly how pregnant you were, even if you were sure of your cycle dates. In this lady's case, this was her 25th pregnancy. She hadn't had a period in decades, according to the mid-wife, who'd attended birth #24 just slightly more than a year before.)
If you can, track it down, and read it. It's amazing what this woman did.
Celeste says
The story is available online here: http://publicism.info/biography/jennifer_worth/31.html I’m going to have to buy the whole book on Amazon now; this story was great.