Once, thanks to the generosity of friends, we had a vacation on a small island off the coast of Maine. It was lovely. There were basically two places to buy anything, and one hotel. There was beach on every side. Sigh. We stayed in a cute house and thoroughly enjoyed everything about it. (That house was where I got the idea for the colander over my kitchen sink light. Only, that was supposed to be temporary until I got a tin fixture like the one they had.)
The one place to buy something was a little general store that was open for a few hours every day. It was a longish walk from the house and everything cost so much because everything had to be brought in on the ferry. The other place was a gas station you had to drive to in the old clunker left by the owner — everyone on the island has an old clunker to drive and also at least one dead one in their yard, because it costs too much to ferry the dead ones back to the mainland. Other than the dead cars, it's very pretty there.
We were getting gas and took it into our heads to need to know whether this gas station was further from the mainland than the store — was it east or west? Not sure what we were getting at. Neither did the geography-free teenager pumping the gas. She was completely flummoxed by the question (and I just don't remember exactly what we asked her, it was probably dumb).
After a few awkward moments she extricated herself by saying,
“This part of the island is where you are now.”
This has entered into the collective family memory because it's so dang true!
You overhear a conversation about curriculum between two homeschooling moms.
A friend tells you about a fabulous school two hours away that meets a child's every need.
You search for ideas for a playroom on Pinterest and spend an hour drooling.
{Pinterest, oh my. Follow me, Rosie, Sukie, and Deirdre if you are going to be on there anyway. Sorry, that's wicked of me, I know. I told you Auntie Leila has a dark side.}
Each one of these things is anxiety-attack material. You can spend your whole day focusing on what you don't have and didn't do!
But to be a woman on a mission or a man with a plan, you have to identify your goals and stick to them. Don't lose your groove!
Please excuse our appearance, we're spray painting your table. |
Works in progress. |
If it gives you an anxiety attack, it's a distraction. It's not helping.
If it makes you say, “Yes! That's what I've been looking for! or thinking of! or knowing I could do!” then pursue it, but on your own terms, at your own pace.
If you will never be able to afford it, then that's a sign it's not for you (although it's always worth wondering if you can find a way to hack it!).
If you know that pulling weeds is what you should be doing, then pull weeds.
If you have little children to run after, then you probably aren't going to be driving two hours to a prep school. And that's a sign that it's not for you.
If you have a train to catch, catch it.
If you know that not taking a shower is more of an issue for you than not putting silver leaf on the edges of an occasional table, then get off the computer and take a shower!
If you can make something pretty, even if it has nothing to do with putting silver leaf on anything, do it.
That's my pep talk for today. You are doing fine, just don't lose your groove.
This part of the island is where you are now.
Sandra Modersohn says
Thank you for the pep talk! It's just what I needed on this morning! 🙂 I'm going to go do what I'm supposed to do now and stop squandering my time. *hugs*
Barbara says
“on your own terms, at your own pace” requires oh so much self control. And if one does not have such self control, she must admit that some things (such as pretty eye candy websites, and even catalogs in the mailbox) are possibly near occasion of sin!
“This part of the island is where you are now.” Never has a statement been more true! 😉
Donna L. says
Dear Auntie Leila,
Thank you so much for this post today!
I spent time at a home yesterday that is so well-appointed that it makes mine look shabby and messy, Sigh.
I spent a bit of time that I ought to have been sleeping, perusing the web to see how to organize and put together my home—only to find out that closet *systems* are very expensive! If I did not wish to eat, nor feed my family, then I could buy all of this “stuff” to organize my stuff! Crazy-making!
So, I shall go eat a bit of breakfast, and wash my hair, and make some homemade bread on this uncharacteristically cool day in July…feeling buoyed up, rather than dejected..
I will include YOU in my prayer of Thanksgiving today!
God bless you
Katie says
Wow, thank you! This really struck a chord. I've been badgering my husband lately about things we “need,” big ticket items – a house, a second car, etc. I think I need to print your island saying and frame it somewhere prominent (or at least write it on a sticky note and stick it to my bathroom mirror!). God bless you, Leila!
ginger says
Words aptly spoken are apples of silver in settings of gold.
Thank you, and May God continue to have his face shine upon you.
Ginger
Jenn says
Thank you…. I very much needed this encouragement!
Lisa says
Love you!
Rebekah says
Yes! I'll remember that. This part of the island is where I am now. Even though it doesn't have a food processor, a reliable car, or space to plant a garden, it's a good place to be. 🙂
(Oh dear. I've avoided Pinterest thus far because, like Facebook, I know it would swallow me whole. Don't tempt me!!)
Cary says
I SO needed this today!
Alishia Hanson says
Plain and simple. Side note regarding small Maine islands: have you ever read The Country of the Pointed Firs by Sarah Orne Jewett? She was one of Willa Cather's favorite authors and that book is exquisite. Not that I know you well enough to intuit your likes, but I'm guesstimating. Put down your spray paint and get to it. Or take a shower if that is what you must do 😉
_Leila says
Alishia,
I have read that! Lovely.
Anitra says
Yes! I have been beating myself up lately because life has been crazy and I'm barely getting dishes done and food on the table, much less making “progress” at getting things cleaned up, decluttered, and pretty… and then I remember that I have 2 kids under 3, and I have been mildly sleep-deprived for 6 months. I am trying to do my job as a parent, the job that God has given me to do RIGHT NOW. I will keep ratcheting down my expectations for what should “get done” – push the kitchen table clutter off to the side, put a flower in a vase, and things already look better. 🙂
Sue says
Oh, yeah. Deep breaths- this is where I am. The air goes in, and I AM doing fine. Thank you.
Lisa G. says
THANK. YOU. Brother, was this timely!
But, it's actually blogging sometimes which is the thing – the issue. My method is generally a quick post as often as I can, but on Sunday, e.g. we had a wonderful picnic day and I took almost 200 pictures – beauty all around! So, it does take time choosing the best, making them smaller, fixing up the exposures, etc. on the computer. Then, I go to bed too late, and can't get up for work in the morning.
Which is why I call my blog, Searching for a Balance – I'm always searching for that just-right balance! But, believe it or not – I'm a lot more balanced since discovering your blog! 🙂
Pippajo says
Pep talk received! And very timely, too! Last year I was so overwhelmed by the idea of homeschooling that I wound up trying to copy what other homeschoolers were doing and got really frustrated really fast.
Last night, I sat down to research some materials to use this year and discovered something surprising! I've actually gained enough knowledge and experience in my first year to have a much better idea of how WE (meaning my son and me) need to be doing things. I had had to adapt things like crazy all year long and had been beating myself up over it because it wasn't the way so-and-so did it. Then, lo! I started looking around last night for materials best suited for visual-spatial learners and found my way back to Charlotte Mason. I found that most of the adaptations I had made are very similar to her methods (and, of course, when I wound up at the Ambleside website, I immediately recognized it from your link)! I felt vindicated and relieved and realized what a goose I've been, feeling like a failure because my homeschool is different from that of every other homeschooling mom I know in real life. I felt like God was telling me, “Would you just relax and give yourself a little credit?”
So, I am spending the day scouring the Ambleside website. Thank you for bringing it to my attention even though it took me a long time to figure out what a resource it is!
before…now where have I seen this?”
Robin says
Um. Could you come to my house at 2 in the afternoon every day for awhile? And whisper this in my ear? 'Cause that's when the You Should Be Doings come.
Thanks for this!
Jessica says
Those purple flowers are gorgeous! I think it is the fan shape that appeals to me. I used to have some just like them in a mixed arrangement / dish garden thingy. I wish I knew what they were called so I could seek them out…do you know their name?
Betsy M says
Hi, not Leila here but I believe they are a scaevola (spelling may be off) plant. And yes Leila, I agree with all the Ladies here, thanks for the encouragement today.
Emily says
Hi Auntie Leila,
You ARE evil, posting those Pinterest links! I just discovered it, and I love all the beauty that can be found, but oh my, it can take away from time I ought to spend beautifying my own part of the island! 🙂
I appreciated your pep talk – my break is now over and I'm going to go back to the zucchini that needs to be turned into muffins!
Margo says
i love your kind of pep! True, loving, and clear. I have been feeling guilty for not being on pinterest, but I think it would be a giant time-suck. But I will follow you if I change my mind 🙂
Erica says
I love the comment “This part of the island …” It reminds me of the time my sister and I were looking for a specific bank in a new town. My sister had an address, but we didn't have a map; the town was pretty small, so we decided to ask the young checker at WalMart if she knew where the bank was. We gave her the address and the name of the bank. She paused and then thoughtfully said, “I don't know where it is, but I can tell you how to get there!”
Suzanne says
Duly noted — have toddler and two-month-old — both asleep — going to shower now. 🙂
sandra says
Message gratefully received and understood, am about to post it on my fridge door.
God Bless
San x
Valerie says
It's all a lot like Life, isn't it 🙂
Bless you, and thanks.
Valerie, NZ.
Adri says
Oh yes, this is why I love your blog! 🙂 Another of my favorites from you is: How to know you are in God's will? Do everything that comes your way this day with love!!! So simple…so true.
Thanks!
Natalie says
“If it gives you an anxiety attack, it's a distraction. It's not helping.” Amen. I've been praying for God to help me let go of my perfectionism, especially as I scramble to figure out “classroom managment” and plan my curriculum in the next few weeks before school begins. Thanks for being a part of the answer to my prayer. 🙂 Now I think I need to put on a pretty dress to add some inspiration as I finish my lesson planning for the evening…
Kh. Patty says
You just KNOW how often I go completely crazy over something online, wanting to revamp my entire life to follow the model exactly. I kind of do that here too, but you are always so adamant that we keep our sanity and just do the next thing we are supposed to do that it is actually helpful to be here and get excited about just doing our duty, and doing it well and beautifully. Thank you!
Plus, I'm pretty sure this (“If you know that not taking a shower is more of an issue for you than not putting silver leaf on the edges of an occasional table, then get off the computer and take a shower!”) was for me in particular. 😉
_Leila says
Haha, Patty, you have no idea how many emails I get along these lines 🙂 I hope no one ever feels I'm singling them out! But hey, if the shoe fits!!!! Winky FACE!
Kh. Patty says
Oh, I figured. I was joking. Mostly. 😉 (By the way, it's before 9AM here and I am showered and dressed to hair and face with happily confined children!)
Lisa says
Oh my. You are so wise and timely. I just love this blog.
So, didn't happen to go to Cheabeague or one of the Diamond islands or maybe Long Island, did you? I live on the coast of Maine and Casco Bay Islands are my favorite places to be. I have a daydream we sell everything, move to Cheabeague where I homeschool our three beach bums and eat lobster every night for dinner.
Habou says
Jessica, I bought and planted the purple flowers but they didn’t have a name tag. I love the bright color and they last for such a long time. I think Betsy might be right! Scaevola — Fairy Fan Flower!
GinnySheller says
Thank you, thank you Leila. Having a rough week (or two) here, feeling inadequate. I just love you!
anne says
my island seems to covered with laundry and toys. yikes.
Brenda says
Too true…..too true. :o)
many thanks,
Brenda
nt12many says
Another wise and wonderful post Leila! And (thanks to you) I have finally found a wonderful use for the copper colander we got for our wedding 29 years ago!!
Jill Farris ” target=”_blank”>http://www.generationalwomanhood.wordpress.com
Kelley says
This was needed for me too, as I tend to focus on things too much. Do you have any tips for discernment? Thanks