Even after Sukie had to go back, Bridget had the fun of hosting a bonfire/wienie roast/s'mores fest with friends. I won't show you too many photos because that would involve posting pictures of other people's children, but I will tell you a little about it…
…just because, you know, it's up to us to restore happy times to our tired sad world. Sometimes we just don't know how! I think we've almost lost the art of knowing what to do with our time together.
Fires, hot dogs, marshmallows — it's good clean fun!
A bonfire from a previous year. Pretty good one, eh? |
Here is Farouk mightily enjoying the human company in his aloof, feline way — it's a little tough being an outdoor cat who actually likes people. (He can't come in because the menfolk around here are severely allergic. He lives in the garage and is a wonderful mouser.)
This was a stellar night for him.
The girls got the fire going just before sundown, and stayed up there for hours. |
This city girl had some trouble with the concept of a wienie roast – I'm going to admit that to you. I can host a dinner for 60, but a campfire like this was beyond me for whatever reason.
I don't know why I couldn't wrap my mind around it. You know that's what I am here for — admitting to you how very incapable I can be, helping you to see that you can certainly do some stuff if I can do it!
Just like a lot of really simple things (gardening, spray painting furniture, canning), bonfires were in that category of activities people sort of toss off as a neat thing they are used to doing, that they do effortlessly, and that I would be hopeless at, I was sure. But wanted to do!
I used to just let the boys handle it when they wanted a bonfire, but in my heart of hearts I knew that I could help them a bit. Wonder why I would think that? Because boys think that standing in a bunch of poison ivy hucking random flammable items into a giant fire is the epitome of fun? And that's okay, but I feel better now that I put my boots on and got up there to organize things the way I want them to be.
So if you are a Lame-O like me, here are some tips, somewhat geared to the lifestyle of the less groomed. See, it can be good not to have a perfectly manicured lawn!
{If your yard is small or your neighbors picky, use one of those metal firepits on your deck — I bet you can find one for sale on Craigslist — we actually have one we found at a yard sale for $6, and I had Deirdre and her friend scrub down all the rust. Then I painted it with high-heat spray paint and it's just fine for sitting around. But a real pit for real cooking, away from the house, is more fun, in that the fire can be bigger and the screaming can be louder.}
Heads cut off to protect the innocent who happen to stray into the orbit of the mad blogger. |
Find an out-of-the-way spot in your yard. Having a country setting is helpful — there are many places around that can be given over to a bit of destruction. When we first got here we sent the boys up behind our little stable and hoped they wouldn't burn it down. It's out of sight and out of hearing. Oh, you go up there and check on them every once in a while, but for the most part you are glad they're out of the way.
Rake all the dry leaves into a pile, and around that pile make a ring of stones or bricks. You will have more peace of mind with a ring and be more able to appease any interested fire fighting personnel. In our town, if it's looking like you are in control and if you have food you are cooking, they pretty much leave you alone. So far.
We are renovating the front steps, so we had lots of bricks to haul up there — more than I could handle, and the Chief was busy on ladders and such. Bricks are heavy. The boys, after constant nagging from me, had taken a stab at some sort of ring, but it was clearly not motivated by anything other than a desire to make me stop talking.
However, their attempt did make for fewer bricks to be hauled. Bridget and I just had to move them a bit and add some.
To the leaves, add all the fallen branches and sticks you can find. Plenty of that in our yard! I wish I had a photo of the high pile before it was lit!
Then add firewood or scrap wood from projects. Here's where you can burn those pine logs that can't go in the fireplace inside.
For seating, logs split in half with boards on top would be ideal and picturesque. We're working on it. For now, cinder blocks (also from the front-step project) will do. And unsplit logs that are propped with brick pieces against rolling.
Put something nice underfoot outside the ring if it's bare ground. We had some pine bark mulch that made a good ground cover. Stones would be less flammable, of course. But buckets of water (essential equipment for any conflagration) will be good insurance here.
Pile up a supply of logs nearby, for adding once the fire gets well started.
Light your pile. Try lighting the leaves and see what happens. It may not be necessary to resort to lighter fluid. It wasn't in this case!
See the buckets there for fire control? |
I had an old child's picnic table that we covered with a cloth (this is girls, remember). They cut green twigs for roasting (2 per girl, one for hot dogs and one for marshmallows) — getting ready is a big part of the fun! And when I say do this or do that, make sure they are doing it right along with you!
My original idea was to have chips and carrot sticks as sides, no plates necessary, but friends can be generous with their contributions, so paper plates it was. The good news is that they can be thrown on the fire when you're done. The girls first had all the supper stuff up there, then brought it in and took out the s'mores supplies. They were pretty much on their own for the cooking! A bench from the deck was their drinks table. Lemonade, cane-sugar root beer, cider…
Hang a trash bag on a nearby limb. When I get my tin-cup supply up, maybe we'll go all non-disposable…that would be super vintage 🙂
A bonfire is a wonderful time. It can be enjoyed by all the generations and it can be enjoyed by teens alone.
Please understand that young people, even ones who are used to partying with families, get to the point where they want to go off by themselves and hang out. All my kids, not just the boys, at some point have gone up there for bonfires with their friends. It fills that need, but it's wholesome. There's that whiff of danger, but the adults are nearby. When you are looking for something for 16-year-olds to do, this is one really good thing. They love it.
A handy guitar-playing folksong-singing friend would be a fabulous addition! But don't let the lack of same stop you. Sometimes we have them and sometimes we don't…. Don't let anything stop you! Just running around the yard, roasting your own hot dogs, telling ghost stories, dancing around the fire, staring at the fire — these are good memories!
So, I do apologize to my practical, savvy friends for being so explicit about this very simple form of entertainment, but I think that I may not be the only one who just couldn't get this together for the longest time.
Or maybe I am, in which case I just offer you a hearty Tuesday-morning laugh! It's okay, go ahead! 🙂
Do you enjoy bonfires and wienie roasts? Would you like to? And what are the traditional liturgical feasts that feature bonfires? I'm still learning too!
Barbara says
We have a big fire pit (contained because we are city folk) and love a good fire. My husband gets them very big (too big for my comfort and the trees) but so far so good. S'mores are pretty much a weekly treat in the summer, and at least one or two wienie roasts a year. It's nice to have a big fire on an evening when we are entertaining because no one can resist sitting outside (and the fire keeps the bugs away).
I know there are feast days in which a fire is called for (Candlemas, Easter Vigil) but we do sort of make up our own. On Sunday my husband had a big fire for our beloved Pope John Paul II. An excuse really is what it was, but that's o.k. It's the thought that counts.
We've had so much rain lately there is no chance for a fire in the foreseeable future…but we have all summer ahead.
Lori says
I find this post very helpful…I'm storing the bonfire idea away for use when I have teenagers around! 🙂
As far as liturgical feasts go, in my home parish in Louisiana, bonfires are lit on Christmas Eve to guide Pere Noel. They are huge structures that would certainly be able to light the way for anyone flying overhead in an alligator-pulled pirogue! I imagine, though, that the bonfires also offer a symbolic welcoming to the Christ Child, the Light of the World, on the night celebrating His entrance into the world.
You could also celebrate St. Lawrence's feast day with a bonfire. That sort of grisly allusion to the saint's death might be interesting to teenage boys…but might be a bit much for those with more delicate sensibilities. (I, for one, would be tempted to yell out, “Turn me over – I'm done on this side!” every ten minutes or so.)
sarah says
This brought back happy memories – my brothers and I had bonfires with our friends quite often as teenagers. Like you said, wholesome with a pleasant whiff of danger, and we were getting rid of the farm burn pile for Dad at the same time. The biggest event of spring was always burning the Christmas tree. 25 foot flames! Risk of neighbors calling the fire department! Oh joy!
Our pit was in a back field, with a wide surrounding radius of grass mowed short. One other thing we did since a couple of buckets don't go far for a large fire was to run a hose down through the field to the fire pit and pre-spray the grass a bit as a flame retardant. We left the house down by the fire with a sprayer cap on to prevent leaks. That way, if a few sparks ever did jump the safety perimeter (or a friend leaping over the flames in the absence of parental supervision caught fire) we didn't have to run all the way back up to the house and turn on the water to prevent a prairie fire/singed buddy.
Lisa G. says
I had no idea that bonfires helped to celebrate anything in the liturgical year, but since you asked, Pentecost comes to mind!
When you said we were losing the art of knowing what to do with our time together – you really hit on something.
I like your white kitty.
Kathryn says
At our home in Vrignia, bon fires were a regular occurance. We now live in town and have yet to pick up the bonfire-pit because of the pricetag – I'd never considered Craig's list (great idea, thank you). I agree with so much of this concept and have used it prior to our move in much the same way. We love a good bonfire and also loved to invite other families over and pray a Rosary around the bonfire – a lovely way to spend an evening!
margo says
I have a firebowl getting rusty – now I'm going to get some high-heat spray paint because of you. thanks for the tip!
I just so appreciate your frankness – there are things in my life that I feel dumb and helpless about and sometimes I (mistakenly) beat myself up about this. But I could do what you do – just wade in, however, helplessly, and try to do it, or I can tell myself to let it go and find something else to have fun with.
And I do agree with you that we need a spirit of fun and play – like the hidden Easter baskets you blogged about. Our family is in a dark time right now, but we keep doggedly having fun and you know? it means more because that fun is ripped from the darkness and it's sweet.
Breanna says
My friends had bonfires all the time–birthdays, to celebrate haying being over, whatever. The guitar was usually there, and it was fun. The boys would usually get to the point where they dared each other to jump over a burning log that was sticking out from the main blaze.
The grownups were there so it couldn't have been as dangerous as it seemed to me at the time. Looking back as a grownup myself, the boys probably wouldn't have been as anxious to jump over the logs if the girls hadn't been screaming “no! don't! you'll set yourself on fire!”
Emily says
I grew up having bonfires with my family. We lived on 5 acres, and it was a constant “battle” to keep the brush under control so it wasn't a forest-fire-danger. We loved it, though! My parents never made it a chore; it was an exciting fun day when they said “burn pile!” Lots of work cutting and dragging the brush, then hot dogs and baked apples in the coals and smores afterward – yum! Those are some of my best memories of growing up!
Rachael says
Back in Southern California, we would occasionally head out to Long Beach and make use of hte fire pits there. It was a ton of fun! It involved a package of hotdogs or brautwursts and buns, perhaps some mustard or ketchup and s'mores makings. Chips were common, but not always. And a cooler or two of sodas. It got chilly-chilly as the sun set, and we would move ourselves closer to the fire. Always a ton of fun. I want a small metal fire pan, I miss those times — but central Texas isn't Long Beach, so perhaps we just need to head back and visit So Cal.
priest's wife says
We have a back yard (townhouse) and it has always confused me why my husband would want one of those fire pit things- we have a bbq. But I guess it is because that is the best we can get to recreate his childhood memories of big farm properties and colossal burn piles. I'm going to get him one as a Pentecost surprise
Donna L. says
Dear Auntie Leila,
You wrote the most amazing thing today…to me!
*I can host a dinner for 60*
I am VERY impressed! I would be absolutely petrified to do this! I mean, I have read Miss Manners books, and dear Emily Post, I know which forks are correct and I love to polish the silverplate. I truly enjoy cooking and baking treats and love to peruse several cookbooks, But….
I just freeze up! The house isn't right, or big enough or clean enough or, or or!!!
In the next while, could you write a tutorial of sorts about how to host a family or two for dinner? I would be most appreciative! And, I could begin my life as less of a hermit. A good thing when I am trying to raise children.
Thank you for sharing with us, and letting me know it's okay to “not know it all–just keep trying”!
God bless you all!
Breanna says
If I was serving 60 I wouldn't fuss about polished silverware. Or do what they always do for weddings in the Anne books–have each lady bring silver and dishes sort it when you wash dishes! This way you also cleverly get help with dishes.
Simple menu. Buffet service. Folding tables with tablecloths outside! 🙂
_Leila says
Donna, I didn't say that I host dinner for 60 *sitting down* people! And I've been at it for a long time, and my friends all have lots of kids, so the numbers add up quickly!!
Anyway, your idea for a post is a good one. My first suggestion: Invite the two families and then figure it out! Nothing like a deadline to get your juices flowing! Then tell us how it went!
Gwinny says
June 24, Feast of St. John the Baptist, is a traditional day for a bonfire. I should pull out all my resources and look up exactly why for you. Also, the Girl Scout in me feels the need to point out that burning leaves produces excessive smoke and thus may not be desirable for bonfire enjoyment. And, the buckets of water is of course a very very smart idea, but if you are lining your ring with stones that get very hot, dumping cold water on them can cause them to explode (well, so I've been told) and the proper fire extinguishing method is to sprinkle the water, or to pour dirt instead. 🙂
_Leila says
Gwinny, thanks for the heads up about the feast of John the Baptist! I was thinking of the buckets for burning brush, but you are probably right about the bricks.
The leaves were to start the fire (they were there and needed to be burned anyway). And they were VERY smoky! Once they had done their job of starting the sticks, small limbs, and logs burning, the fire was excellent. And that part of the yard is a lot tidier! It was really a burn pile, shhhhh…… 🙂
Carol says
I have fond memories of beach bonfires in Long Beach, CA too. I went to Long Beach State and spring/summer weekends were often spent a Bolsa Chica beach…hot dogs, s'mores, chips, soda and beer, someone on the guitar. Lots of fun! Now I live in Northern California where summers can get so hot no one would want to sit by a fire. But spring time is good….we should get one of those pits and have some family bonding/story telling times by the fire. Thanks for the great ideas (and encouragement to do the things you think you can't do!!)
Jamie says
You need to dust off a flattish rock with your shirt ( remember you are sort of roughing it ) and set it next to the fire so it heats up a bit. Take a piece of raw chicken and pull off some of its fat and melt it on the rock. Then slap that chicken on the rock and you now have a campfire pan with chicken cooking! Don't forget salt and pepper and some sauce or whatever while it cooks. And don't forget to turn it over with a couple of sticks….
Stephanie in Germany says
Gwinny just mentioned John the Baptist. Here in Germany, especially in Bavaria, a “Johannifeuer” (John fire) is a big tradition. There is usually a lot of alcohol consumption… My husband comes from the area around Cologne and they have a “Martinifeuer” on St. Martin's day on Nov. 11 after the long procession of lanterns. There are also Easter fires beginning Easter monday not to be confused with the Easter Night fire before the Vigil. All these bonfires are HUGE and are prepared far in advance to have a large mountain of wood. Lots of wood and lots of beer.
Pippajo says
We have fires in the backyard all the time! It's an event for us, “Let's have a fire!” If the weather is right (i.e. not too hot, wet or cold) it's a good bet that someone (usually the menfolk) is sitting out back by the fire. Now, with The Viking being a firefighter, I don't worry about safety–he's got it covered! There's a large concrete slab that covers the old well in our backyard so we put the fire pit on that. The Viking saved huge sections of a tree we had cut down to serve as stools and was happy as a clam when he inherited the old Adirondack chairs he grew up with at his parents' country house. We have wienie roasts, S'mores fests, and sometimes we use the fire pit to cook on instead of the grill (corn on the cob wrapped in aluminum foil is great cooked in a bonfire)!
We keep it simple, generally: wienies, buns, condiments, marshmallows, chocolate, graham crackers, beer and cider (or hot chocolate if it's nippy out) though occasionally I will make up a pot of chili or beef stew to eat by the fire.
The fire pit was a birthday gift for The Viking several years ago (bought half-price on clearance at Target–yay for me!) and it's probably his favorite gift ever! Some of our favorite memories of time spent with family and friends are warm with the glow of a roaring, crackling fire!
This post gave me warm fuzzies all over!
Jackie says
I do love the smell of wood smoke! While I've always lived in places too dry for a proper bonfire, I certainly appreciate s'mores and singing around the campfire.
Thank you so much for the inspiration…hosting large gatherings is so much fun! So long as the hostess remembers to have some fun, too.
nt12many says
“Oh, you go up there and check on them every once in a while, but for the most part you are glad they're out of the way.”
This statement made me snort with laughter (and I needed a good snort!). I told my husband the other night (in a fit of frustration) “Do you realize that I have four almost adult people whom I have to remind TO LOOK ME IN THE EYE Plus three others to raise AND YOU ARE GONE ALL WEEK??”
Leila, something about your statement (above) made me sigh with relief. It is TRUE that there is something wonderful about knowing that the teens are out of sight sticking sticks in a fire and (perhaps) melting the tips of their tennis shoes but they are at least, “wholesomely” occupied for a time!
When the coals are well established in the fire be sure to wrap some potatoes in foil and cover them up with hot coals to enjoy in about 45 minutes. Also, (I learned this as a camp counselor) take a nice solid navel orange and cut the top of and scoop out the orange itself leaving a little bowl made of orange peel, Fill the orange peel bowl with gingerbread mix batter (leaving room for it to “raise”), cover the whole with the sliced off piece of orange peel, wrap the whole thing with foil and stick IT in the coals. Bake until done, peel off the orange peel and enjoy a gingerbready, orangy ball thing!
Jill Farris ” target=”_blank”>http://www.generationalwomanhood.wordpress.com
nilzed says
Ohmygosh that sounds delish!
Vicki says
When my youngest son was about 8, I agreed he could have cooking fires in the back yard as long as an adult was supervising. Because he had begun building cooking fires on his own, under the apple trees, and storing packages of hot dogs in the wood pile. This child was going to cook in the back yard regardless, I figured I needed to get him agree to some rules so he didn't give someone food poisoning or burn something down. I did check with the fire department to get the rules for how far from structures, etc. it needed to be, and they did indicate that if you were cooking on the fire they were pretty lenient.
_Leila says
Yes, Vicki! The boys will burn stuff in any case! Might as well direct them. What is it with boys and fire, jeesh.
Abby says
Oh, how I aspire to bonfire building! My dear friend from college came to visit last fall and built us a fire pit–the girls still talk about the one real fire they've had. I WILL figure this out for them this summer! S'mores will be a good motivator…so will the trying of that gingerbread-in-an-orange thing. Yum!