Someone sent me a simple question that has me suffering from advice gridlock.
You know, where you just don't know where you would begin, and seriously consider starting a blog.
Oh, wait.
I will post on it very soon.
Meanwhile I'm trying to untangle all the threads of things I want to say. And fit them into an answer that could possibly be the length of a reasonable post.
That someone would actually read!
You know, your whole life is preparation for one thing or another.
Jumping forward to when you find yourself a mama, you replace your sponge so that your kitchen will be clean.
Your kitchen needs to be clean so that you can cook in it peacefully (and not get people sick or grossed out).
Your baby needs to be nursed (held, cuddled, fed) so that you start a good relationship with him so that later when you give him a needed spank he obeys you, but knows you love him.
And also he needs to obey so that he can escape being whipped around by his moods and by his desires.
You teach your four-year old manners so that when she's sixteen she'll sit at the dinner table with you and refrain from rolling her eyes long enough to learn a few important things she needs to know before moving out.
You plan meals so that you aren't surprised every day by the necessity of making dinner, so that by the time your kids are old enough to sit at the table and listen, your mind is just clear enough that you realize that you need your husband there too so that the kids will listen to him, since you can't remember what it is you wanted to say, though you know it was important.
All that is why I even talk about stuff like home schooling, cleaning, discipline, and nursing the baby.
Clearly I am not the expert on these things, but one thing I do know — they are things you must figure out quick so that you can be ready for the next challenge.
I see many people thinking those things are ends in themselves, and they aren't.
They are some of the practical things that go into mothering and making a home, but they are all for a purpose — even making a home is for a purpose:
So that we have an environment in which to find out what God's will for us is, and are able to take a stab at carrying it out.
But what I really want to do is hibernate, because all these pictures are from the other day, before the “double-whammy” storm hit New England. I took two naps yesterday and still slept all night! By the beginning of February I can hardly stay awake to cook my own dinner, let alone answer simple questions…
julie wasson says
Thank you. This is a great post. I totally understand how you feel with all those things in your head and on your plate but just wanting to hibernate. God bless your family.
priest's wife says
Hi Ho Kermit the frog here- oh wait, it's me- my advice to all who are not in Sunny South (we pay for it with the highest taxes in the nation)- netlfix seasons of The Muppet Show- go outside for some needed Vitamin D and then write that extra long post because you know we will all read it, enjoy it and learn from it.
In the meantime, I'll peruse the archives.
Polly says
This reminds me of a quote from Margaret Kim Peterson that I put on my blog in November: 'making a home involves constructing and maintaining an environment in which people can flourish in ways for which God desires people to flourish.' exactly!!!
Kalee says
I would love to have gotten that snow. Alas, here in Baltimore we only got a few inches. But can I say I love your yellow house? I'm not sure I've seen a photo of it before, and I dream of something owning a sunny yellow house!
I think you're right about everything being in preparation for something else, for serving a greater purpose.
Dawn says
This comment is not about your words but–is that a zipline I see in that fourth picture? It loooks fun!
_Leila says
Yes, Dawn, and further down, Shayla — it's a zipline with a homemade ladder thingy so that younger children can reach it, which gives you some idea of how high the snow was then!
It's really fun and there's a stop right before you get to the tree, so don't worry…too much.
womanofthehouse says
Wow! These pictures are from *before* Snowmegeddon? Be sure to show us what it's like afterward!
Colleen says
Thanks for helping me see the big picture when I get so wrapped up in the details. I love your blog, it's a breath of fresh air 🙂 I live in MA, but we didn't get hit quite so hard…probably because we live near the coast.
kathryn says
We've been hibernating at my home too, and it feels soo soo good! I loved the photos!
TN_MOM says
Bless you. Stay warm. You have some SERIOUS snow.
Shayla says
“Making a home is for a purpose: So that we have an environment in which to find out what God's will for us is, and are able to take a stab at carrying it out. ”
Thank you. I almost want to stitch that on a pillow, but first I suppose I should go make my kitchen reasonably clean!
Also I had the same question as Dawn, is that a zipline? When it gets warmer, I want to know more about how it works!
Tracy says
I've never been able to put my finger on exactly what draws me to your blog. Now I know. It's perspective. As a mom of two 7 year old boys, it's a struggle to keep things in perspective. Your words are very calming and centering. Thank you for sharing.
Marcia says
More than being academically prepared for college, I want my daughters to be prepared to nurture a family and a home. Surely they learn by watching their mom do it, but I also want to teach them more deliberately and more purposefully. You know, short of making them sit down and listen to a prepared lecture just to make sure that they get it, ha, ha. Whether or not I actually do that, your post will be very helpful to me in the long run, and I will keep coming back to read it. Thank you, too, for maintaining a blog that is loaded with wisdom. God bless you richly.
Anitra says
Marcia, good for you! I wish my mother had done that for me. Really, ALL children should know the basics of laundry, food shopping/preparation, and budgeting before they leave home. And no, they might not learn it if their parents do not deliberately teach them.
Beth says
Leila- thanks so much for the overview of life. It was a breath of fresh spring air on a wintry day to catch your eternal perspective! You are right. All of the individual tasks we perform and teach are for the end result of fulfilling our life's purpose, and helping those with whom we are entrusted to learn and perform theirs. Kudos to you!
Sarah says
Such a fresh post. Thank you, a timely reminder with a almost toddler under foot:)
Joanie says
I found your blog oh, maybe a week ago, and have since had a ball reading your wisdom and humor for hours on end. Every Night – so I can get caught up. God knew I needed you understanding, gracious posts to start over and learn home-ec and how to clean for once and for all in the real world. Where my babies get rocked. Thank you for sharing your heart! I wish more new moms read your blog!!!
Anitra says
Thank you Leila! I needed this reminder, especially since I'm currently nursing a newborn with only a toddler around to “help”. This season of life makes me crazy!
Patty says
Can't wait until you untangle your thoughts so we can read them all. Thanks for the reminder of WHY I'm nursing/cleaning/cooking/spanking/homeschooling.
Oh, and as if you don't have enough to think about already, would you please do a post on kids and bedtime? Because I ain't gettin' it.
sibyl says
Snowmaggedon, my foot. May I just pull geographical rank here, and mention that I live in Minnesota? The snow in my yard, which is above my knee, has been there since mid-November. The drifts created by our city snowplows are, in places, taller than the average car, making each intersection completely blind.
And today, when we woke up, the temperature was -2 degrees F. and the wind chill was somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 below.
And all the schools were open as usual.
A nice glass of red wine and a mystery novel and two down comforters for tonight.
Geographical rank-pulling done.
Donna says
As the mother of 5 adult kids and 10 growing grand children I can say that you are “right on” in your post today.
Building a family is a lot of little things done with purpose and love, that lead to the bigger goal of producing adults that are well adjusted to themselves and have the skills to live a life of integrity. They need to have purpose that comes from knowing God and doing his will for them. You can't teach that in a “memo” you have to live it before them and reinforce it every day by building a relationship with them (always knowing that boundries are necessary and safe)
I have enjoyed reading your blog from time to time. I came over from Debbie J- Homemaking Dreams.
Keep up the good posting, Donna
” target=”_blank”>http://www.donnasbusyhands.blogspot.com
Donna L. says
Hi Auntie Leila,
Feel free to send that snow to the Northwest…we only had a couple of inches, not even enough to make a decent snowman..{sigh}
I agree with “Priest's Wife”…please, please, please write the extra long post about all that is bouncing around in your thoughts that you want to share. I will read it and learn a lot…and if the post is extra long, all the better! I often use your blog as my reward for getting up earlier than my munchkins..I mean, no pressure, you have a busy life still, but I need to have some ideas to get moving so I can get things done before spring!!!
Thank you in advance for your advice!
janelmessenger says
That looks just like my New England yard! lol
Fabulous. All around. (And I napped too yesterday.)
deb meyers says
well, i for one can't wait to read. Your intro here was succinct and great pre-publicity.
In NH…Our front stoop floor is completely level with the top of the snow…picnic table has disappeared….snow to the tip top of the garden fence post. This is utterly amazing.
deb meyers
Pippajo says
First, though we've had quite an unusual winter for Jersey, with several snow storms already and a foot of snow that's been here for over a week, I have Snow Envy. I would love to live in New England or even Minnesota where big snow is the norm and not cause for everyone to go crazy closing school and buying all the milk, bread, eggs and tp they can get their hands on! All we got from Snowmageddon was freezing rain that fizzled into plain old rain. Bah!
Second, I can't help but note that back when my children were small and I was “in the trenches”, as it were, running around after them all the time, it seemed that mothers of older children had it so much easier. I was convinced I'd have it all together, too, if I didn't have toddlers or preschoolers underfoot all the time. And now that I have a teenager and a fourth-grader, I complain that it's so much easier for mothers of younger children to know what their purpose is and that I'd have it all together, too, if mothering older children wasn't so vague or didn't seem to require much more than a valid driver's license and a full tank of gas. I am so like fickle Israel in the desert, pleading for rescue and relief and then complaining about it when I get it!
I, too, appreciate the perspective you offer on womanhood. But you probably knew that!
Mamabear says
In North Texas we are ill equipped for the cold, so we shut down…..no complaints here! Am I the only one who wanted you to post on St Brigid's Day so we could leave warm wishes for Bridget? My third child is a real challenge. He is probably your “average three year old,” though “average” is inadequate for us! I loved your post where you suggest asking your child's guardian angel for help. That has certainly been helpful some days when I (and his older siblings) want to clobber him. I can't agree with you more about immediate discipline, and it gets harder the more children you have, when you are pregnant or nursing or maybe just doing the dishes……but the price is too high when you slack off! Thanks for keeping us true to the fight! (and reminding us that sometimes a song is in order)
NANCY says
Looking forward to the question and answer..you are probably ruminating on the question (which is a good thing).
I am using my clementine boxes as organizers in my pantry. Thanks for the idea! Nancy
A different Nancy says
I LOVE what you said about “these things not being ends in themselves” — I know so many moms who seem to describe themselves as “attachment-parenting moms” or “organic food only moms” etc. We can not forget that first, we are Christ-following moms! The rest of our time and priorities must be in line so that we don't lose sight of that one essential thing.
Lisa G. says
This is something I'd do well to remember – that doing these things (whatever needs to be done in the house, in my life – whatever) is not an end in itself!
Jennifer says
I just bookmarked this post on my phone so I can locate it easily. I named it “Living not just drudging through.”
The middle part about not being the ends of the means…. Yeah, I needed to know that. Revolutionary thoughts for me. So refreshing and liberating!