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I can't reveal much of my knitting, because, well, you know.
But I found something to do with the blue cashmerino I showed you two weeks ago on Ginny's Yarn Along, and after a rocky start in which I looked up what ssk means only didn't read the whole thing, and consequently got something that burgeoned in an undesirable and discouraging way, I am now doing pretty well.
Thanks, youtube, without which I definitely would not know certain things about knitting, at least not for a long time while I rounded up my knitting friends for demonstrations, and sorry, dear Meredith, for giving you a headache. Daughters, do not click on that last link.
If we were sitting at my kitchen table and peaceably knitting together and talking about whether to give the baby solid foods, there is something else I would tell you, in addition to what I told you the other day.
It's something that I didn't find out myself for a few anxious years, but it made my life so much calmer and gave me such wonder for the beauty of God's plan for our life, despite old Adam and Eve's best efforts to mess things up, that I am very sorry for those who don't know about it.
Doctors don't know about it, or scoff at it because that's what they were taught, to scoff.
Other mothers don't know about it, because they listen to doctors at funny times, and because our collective memory received a body blow when suddenly bottles and pills and devices became unavoidable, and a general feeling took hold that babies are not a gift from heaven but something to be planned, avoided, and feared.
But little by little, this knowledge is coming back to us, and I would like to offer it to you.
You see, besides all I said the other day about the timing of the baby's development being your cue to start giving him little things to eat in his very own chair, and besides the fact that breast milk really is the very best food for a little one who can't even sit up, and besides the suspicion that maybe cereal isn't so great after all if your child turns out to have sensitivity to certain foods — besides all that, there is something else.
Remember when I told you before that nursing an infant requires you to discover his rhythm, and to make certain conscious efforts to meet his needs, even though it will be a little trying at times? Then we talked about how a baby seems to settle in and then, suddenly, because of a growth spurt, he will dismay you with what seems like a setback. He's nursing so much more often, and that's because, at about 3-4 months, he is growing like crazy. Not only does his body get bigger and stronger, but he's learning all sorts of skills that take an amazing amount of energy, all of which he's getting from you.
So of course, just as you think to yourself, “Whew, now I can get back to running around, making cookies for the meetings, shopping, losing some weight, vacuuming, and all sorts of fun stuff,” you find yourself sitting down yet again to nurse the baby!
Well, as I always say, embrace the “setback” and make up your mind to do what's necessary in the way of drinking more fluids, resting more, eating well, and yes, maybe vacuuming a bit less, in order to make enough milk.
You see, not only is the baby's body changing, but your body is changing at this moment as well. In the past, many babies died at this age, sad to say. And in order for our species to survive, the woman's body is programmed to ask the question, “Well, is there a baby or not?”
If you give in to the doctor, who is also aware that the baby is making more demands on you and you might very well prefer to shop, you will essentially be telling your body, “Right, there isn't a baby.”
The doctor certainly doesn't feel comfy telling you, “My dear sweet lady, make a few sacrifices in the short term to reap all sorts of benefits later.” Yet that is what is going on.
If you are patient with yourself and the baby, you (via your hormones) will be telling your body, “There is still a baby.”
You can read about this in depth in this book, which I do recommend: Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing by Sheila Kippley.
The wonderful thing is that your body will then go on to provide you with a period of no ovulation! In God's providence, the body is designed to keep another pregnancy at bay for just the right amount of time, as long as you convince it that you are, indeed, still taking care of a little baby!
When the baby, at 6 months or 9 months or one year, is sitting up, begging for a bite of beef stew or baked apple, and nursing less over all, then your body will start preparing for another child. And really, 18 months or two years or 30 months is the perfect interval between siblings until you get old and tired, and then, amazingly, things slow down on their own.
Now, look. Just like everything else, biological things work for most people, let's say 80% (I don't know the figure and neither do you, because hardly anyone has more than two children and even then, with all sorts of interference). So of course there are those at one end of the spectrum who are going to conceive right away if they do nothing else (and, what no one tells you, even if they do something else, very often), and those at the other who have difficulty conceiving, no matter what they do (and you may not realize that there are more of these than you think!).
But what I'm saying here is that the chances are that you are one of those for whom this will be just fine, and you should give God's plan a chance. You will have faith and trust if you can overcome your fear of a child, and you can do that if you realize that a child is a gift from heaven, welcome no matter what.
Also, the time is short — it lasts very little — when all this is going on. It's worth putting in a few months of dedicated nursing (besides all the other benefits, of course) to pull this off. Just give yourself and the baby a couple more months of sweet, snuggly (sometimes annoyingly demanding, I know!) nursing time. You will be so peaceful in the end!
{I'm not going to enable the comments for this post. It's not that I don't want to hear from you. I do, and you can email me at leila at gmail.com if you want to. It's just that I want you to think about what I've written here, rather than react; and also, everyone has her story, but in general what I've said is scientific fact and has worked for all the generations of women up until the 20th century and was known by them to work. Nothing in this life works perfectly, but even so, God has a plan for each of us!}
XOXO!
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