Lent is starting next week. I'm sure you thought about what you would like to work on…besides finally getting a handle on the cleaning (which I will post about occasionally, don't worry — your questions will be answered as the blogging spirit moves me — we still have to talk about, among other things, what to do with the kids, where to start, and how to keep going).
After all, such mundane things are only what we are supposed to be doing!
Remember this story from the Gospel…Luke 17: 7-10
But which of you having a servant ploughing, or feeding cattle, will say to him, when he is come from the field: Immediately go, sit down to meat: And will not rather say to him: Make ready my supper, and gird thyself, and serve me, whilst I eat and drink, and afterwards thou shalt eat and drink? Doth he thank that servant, for doing the things which he commanded him? I think not.
So you also, when you shall have done all these things that are commanded you, say: We are unprofitable servants; we have done that which we ought to do.
Ahh! I hate that!
All I want is affirmation and love-bombs about every little thing I do — Look, honey, I am presentable today! Look, I neatened up this corner! Look, we have dinner! Instead I get the smackdown from God Almighty: You're only doing what you are supposed to be doing — don't be such a baby.
And you know, the truth is that all those things are simply background for the real business of loving each other and getting to heaven.
I think of this whole blog as being about taking joy in all of it — the unprofitable servitude (which every human being must perform) as well as the loving journey of salvation, with a lot of crafting thrown in.
And when you just can't do (those things that come up, preventing us from fulfilling our best intentions), knowing that you are loved and can love just the same.
I want to suggest that, if you have nothing else in mind for Lent, you consider doing some reading with me. It's a little deep, a little challenging, some might think — but you all are so brainy, I know you could do it — if you don't have other things planned, like experiencing the Fourth Mystical Death or perfecting the virtues of Charity and Humility by Easter. Not to mention giving up sugar, dairy, meat, and grains…because, far be it from me to interfere.
But I want to talk about a serious question that comes up, and its answer underlies the whole purpose of what we do, blog-wise, family-wise, life-wise…
It's this: Why should *I* have to do all this? Why is all this the woman's lot to preside over? Am I not good enough for the world to recognize my work with something tangible, like a paycheck? How can I explain my home to someone else? To myself? What about someone who isn't Christian?
A lot depends on the answer…
Some of you know the answer in your heart. Some women are just drawn to becoming wives and mothers, even if it takes us a long time to figure out the practical aspects (and some just do it all, effortlessly, right from the start, curse them).
Some of you are a little bitter, maybe, thinking about what might have been…or not at all bitter, but scared. Just wondering about the scariness of it all.
Some are joyful and just open to finding out the hows– and I'm so edified when I hear from you!
But to answer the question in an orderly, satisfying way, you might want to do some reading, although in the course of my musings I will give you the gist, in case you are otherwise busy.
It will probably take a lot longer than Lent. But it's a good thing to have some serious reading at hand, don't you think? Two little thin books…
And for the record, I read all these books with many kids underfoot. Nursing a baby is a great excuse to pick up some light philosophy!
We might have had a few lapses in concentration on other fronts…:)
{To my beloved Protestant friends: You will be entranced by the biblical grounding of the arguments presented here, that get to the heart of these issues. I welcome your thoughts during the discussion, and I challenge you to see what the Catholic Church has stored up for your intellectual delectation.}
So, if you want to read them (and again, you don't have to in order to follow what I will be saying… I think…) here are the main two books I will be talking about (by all means try the library):
I hope you have a copy of this – On the Dignity and Vocation of Women — lying around. It seems like it might be a bit hard to find. You can print it out here. (Copy into Word or something so it's not on that annoying background.) You can also find it in the Catholic Culture library, a great resource.
Then, we have Leisure: The Basis of Culture, along with The Philisophical Act — truly a pleasure.
Yes, my friends, this will be key to understanding what we are doing when we clean all those toilets and nurse all those babies. I wonder if dear Aristotle knew he was providing me with the will to go on? Of course he did, he was so clever.
Anonymous says
Somehow I just *knew* you were a Pieper admirer. It's been years since I read Mulieris Dignitatem, but Pieper I have always close to hand. I'll be following your Lenten posts closely! And perhaps Aristotle did know he would inspire you!Remember what JH Newman said: "Aristotle tells us the meaning of our ideas before we were born."
beckygiggles says
Oh, I SO love the "love-bombs". I didn't know that's what they were, but that's exactly what I'm after when I say, "Honey, have you noticed that the kitchen isn't a pit so often anymore? And we're not living out of clean clothes baskets because nothing ever gets put away? HAVE YOU??????". I'm making slow progress, but it's progress. Now if I can just do it with a more humble spirit, that would be true success.
Kristen Laurence says
I've been enjoying all these great posts on the vocation of homemaking. Really lovely. But I had to pop out of lurkdom when I saw Leisure: The Basis of Culture. LOVE that book! And now I'll read it again, thanks to you!
Erika says
"Leisure" is now on its, well, leisurely book-rate way to me 🙂 Looking forward to reading it, and to your commentary! -Erikaone of those Protestant friends 😉
Anonymous says
Dearest Leila.. 'affirmations' and 'love bombs' (never heard that one) but how I prod for them especially in one particular area..my husband's packed lunches. What a baby I am. Now I see why I annoyed myself everytime I asked my husband 'how was his lunch?'. I plan and think and create his lunches to take to work. I put a lot of effort into them. (Poor man used to have to make his own when I was homeschooling but now I can devote my time to him.) I think I do such a good job with organising them so why can't I be happy with just that. But no. I have to ASK him how he liked it. (This after he regularly comments on how everyone at work wants to swap lunches with him. But is that enough for me..) So now I'm going to 'grow-up' in that area and just STOP asking. Plain and simple. Everytime I want some feed-back from him, I'll think of your admonition and keep my smiley little mouth closed. Thank you! From, Linda
Anonymous says
I'm so looking forward to your lenten posts! I'm an evangelical with my toes in the Tiber. 🙂 I'd love to read your conversion story if you'd ever care to share. Many thanks for sharing your wisdom.~Teri in VA
Sarah says
Mulieris Dignitatem has been on my to-read list for a LONG time … I know I have a copy, but in the midst of our move, I'm sure it's packed. I will copy it online. I have a few other books that I'd like to read through (or at least start reading through) this Lent, too. But I really look forward to the direction these texts will take your posts about homemaking. This is just what I need—to just realize—and accept—that all of this is what I am supposed to be doing. It's that simple. And that hard.
Emily (Laundry and L says
I'm an Anglican with a great respect and love for many things Catholic. I just ordered these books and am going to work my way through them during Lent. Looking forward to reading your thoughts on them as I go. Thank you for all your encouragement in living and mothering well!
reneejv says
Another Protestant here, looking forward to your Lenten reading list. I was looking for a good Lenten goal that didn't involve "giving up" anything more. Since I'm due with baby #2 during Holy Week, I feel like I'm already giving up many physical things; comfort being the foremost! Taking on something that will challenge and improve my additude toward homemaking seems a much better use of my time.
Peter and Nancy says
I have been appreciating your wit, and how you include yourself in the commentary for those of us who would rather read than do housework, are looking for the love-bombs . . . Smiling,Nancy
Decadent Housewife says
Another Protestant here who always wanted this but still would rather read than clean. Looking forward to the reads. Col. 3: 23-4
Crafty P says
can't wait to be inspired!I love Pieper- so rich and always inspiring!I'm sure I can get my hands on Mulieris Dignitatem, too!
Puffin Hen says
Adding my thanks for these suggestions… I'm excited by the challenge and I am so grateful to you for acknowledging my head while speaking to my heart!
Sara says
I read MD years ago, but I'll be glad to pull it out again. I'll probably get more out of it.I think we have Pieper—I know I've bought it for my kids to read at school, but I don't know if we've saved it. I'm intrigued.
Deirdre says
Impressive hat!!
Gail says
I've requested "Leisure" from the library and might print out MD or just read it online. I'm looking forward to reading along with you. I'm relatively new to your blog – been lurking for the last month or so – and am really inspired by it. And my legs are smoother too!
LJtravelsTHEworld says
WOO HOO!!!! I have read excerpts of BOTH of those works! My education hasn't been a total waste!!!:)
Anne R Triolo says
i can't believe you already finished the hat. couldn't you get bridget to model it for us?also, felt like you were talking to me as i sat here reading your blog and nursing my baby!
Mary says
OK…this is making me reach WAY out of my comfort zone…but I will read the books. I promise I will. I look forward to having you explain them to me and my feeble brain. Thank you for challenging me…I think.
Mrs Bossy says
oooo. I have never heard of either of these little gems. But your timing is perfect. I am hankering to have my soul nourished.
Elizabeth@Frabjous D says
Oooh! I've arrived randomly having seen that someone came to my blog from yours (I don't know how). I love your writing and your wisdom! Consider yourself favourited!
Margo says
I wish I had a baby to nurse so I could get some more reading time. . .but I might follow along. I'd already signed up for some Lenten silence times, but some readin might be good too."love bombs" – totally adding that to my lexicon!And you might like to read The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy, and Women's Work by Kathleen Norris.
Sue Clarke says
"All I want is affirmation and love-bombs about every little thing I do — Look, honey, I am presentable today! Look, I neatened up this corner! Look, we have dinner! Instead I get the smackdown from God Almighty: You're only doing what you are supposed to be doing — don't be such a baby."Reading this has made me come out of lurkdom and actually post on your blog. Thank you and thank you for backing it up biblically and OUCH big time.So for Lent, I shall be giving up my life time search for affirmation and love bombs, I know this seems like a teeny tiny thing, but for me it will be giant steps. Oh and I while I am here, I will say that as a Quaker for most of my adult life, I'm used to treating each day as the same….it is strange to me all the ceremonies and special days of Catholocism but I do see the beauty of it, and it's more Godly than I used to think.And as to why a Quaker has ended up reading a Catholic blog about home/craft/family, my dear youngest son started Catholic High School last year , and I wanted to find out more about the faith to help him understand it. I tried forums like Catholic Answers, but I seem to learn best in chatty scenarios, the blogs I have read have been a wonderful help, and yours is just a joy .
astevens says
I think that you have an interesting blog. Thank you.As I was looking for the book, "Leisure…," I found it for free at <a href="http://www.archive.org/stream/leisurethebasiso007390mbp/leisurethebasiso007390mbp_djvu.txthttp://www.archive.org/stream/leisurethebasiso007… />Like "On the Dignity and Vocation of Women," you can copy and paste it into a Word document for reformatting and not have all the white space. Or, like me, you can keep the white space and take notes on it.Thank you again. I look forward to following you during Lent.
Sarah says
Oh my. I may have to join you. Especially since I can print it out. This is definitely calling to me (more so than, say, giving up caffeine or sugar.) I've been having problems with some of this – you are talking to the right person.Best,Sarah
Mama Bean says
Dear Aunt Leila, I read parts of this post out loud to my husband, because… it just resonated so much as True, like a bell, and I had to share it with the most important person in my life, because… you described how keeping a home is a spiritual act, a duty for God; laundry is prayer, cooking dinner like singing a hymn. Perhaps I'm getting effusive here, but I just wanted to let you know. And thank you 🙂 (ps – another protestant lurker…)
Karen says
I take issue with some of Pieper's conclusions. He may have gone a little too far in the other direction in his attempt to challenge Marxist ideas about work. This is an article from an Opus Dei perspective (the movement's main philosophical pillar is that work itself is sanctifying) that I found really interesting: http://en.romana.org/art/45_8.0_1 You may want to skip to the section entitled "Some solutions from philosophy: work and virtue" because the first half is a bit heavy, and I think the last section of the article ("Human work and sanctification through work") may be the most important to you (and your readers).
the eternal optimist says
Absolutely delightful! Philosophize on!
Pippi says
Just put Leisure on hold at the library. Hey — I'm only moving to a new apartment while pregnant and with two small children demanding attention. Oh, and I haven't finished my Christmas knitting. Oops! But I can't help myself — it looks too good to pass up :)And dare I admit this? I enjoy your blog and I'm practically an atheist. You have great insights on family life and culture and I enjoy learning about Catholicism. Hearing views from people different from me is fascinating. There's so much to learn out there! Thank you!