Now we are going to get to the core of this cleaning business.
{Some of you are very good housekeepers and this is all going to seem pointless to you. I'm not one of you and I don't think you understand those of us who aren't naturally clean, or who would be fabulous if only we didn't have these other people to deal with. Please understand that we have our issues that can only be dealt with a certain way. We love you and wish we could be like you.}
Well, I need to give you a quick pep talk on why you should want to have a Reasonably Clean, Pretty Neat, and Comfortably Tidy House.
1. No one else is going to do it for you.
If someone else does clean your house for you, then lucky you — would you like to read a little about educating your children or quilting? If you are like me, you are in charge of the housekeeping and the sooner you embrace it the happier you will be.
Why do you waste time being bitter about having this responsibility?
Because you're so highly educated? Because you used to be an executive? Because your mom should help you?
Because you could be earning a big salary if, if, if….? Because your girlfriends don't have to?
Let's just see.
If you are home today and your house is dirty and no one is coming to clean it in an hour, then you have to deal. It's as simple as that.
2. Order is liberating.
You can think about other things when your home is orderly.
You can pray.
You can read.
You can cook.
I think you can tell from the pictures I post on this blog that my house isn't like one in a magazine. I'm not talking about some unrealistic ideal. I'm talking about a reasonable standard.
I encourage you, if you're not quite ready to pick up a dust cloth, to go and peruse the Flickr group called Corners of My Home (search for vintage) and also to look at this post on a lovely blog called Home and Heaven.
You need to clear your mind of all those perfect magazine pictures and find your own order.
3. You will be nicer to your children and your husband if you aren't constantly irritated by the dirt and “background noise” in your house.
You will be able to have a conversation with him or read to them without wanting to scream. You will also be able to practice hospitality with a peaceful soul.
You may find you love making a home.
4. You will be content with your things and finally conquer that vague “If only my house were perfect” nagging feeling that makes you waste time and spiritual energy.
You will see the beauty in even the humblest object if it is clean and in the right spot. You will also be more able to deal with real problems of household organization and decoration if you have a clean slate to work with.
5. You will not mind a temporary mess if your house is reasonably clean.
When the kids make a fort with the living room cushions, decide that today is the day they take up finger painting, or pull out every pot and pan from the cabinets, it won't be a biggie, because those things can be set to rights with no trouble at all. But cleaning the whole house…what a burden!
With me on all this?
I'll tell you a story.
Once, long ago, when things were overwhelming me (and by things I mean 6, at the time, kids), my dear husband and mother put their resources together to get me a cleaning lady.*
We really couldn't afford it, but something needed to be done. Part of me was completely opposed to the idea. I did feel like I should have been able to handle my own problems; I thought that the money was certainly needed elsewhere; I was ashamed of someone else dealing with my shabby possessions.
But somehow I had lost the ability to keep my own house clean! All I could think to do was vacuum, and that didn't seem to help. This lady was someone I knew to be kind and helpful, and she needed the money too, so I agreed.
She told me that before she came I'd have to “pick up”, and I did, and that was quite an effort.
Then she arrived and proceeded to take two full days to deep clean every single thing in my house — one day for the upstairs and another for the downstairs.
She worked in one room at a time. She opened windows.
She pulled every article of furniture out into the middle of the room and wiped down every molding and window frame.
She vacuumed or wiped the furniture itself, including under cushions.
She cleaned the floors around the perimeter of the room. She washed curtains and towels.
She removed every item from every horizontal surface, cleaned the surface, cleaned the items, then put them back.
She took out every book from every shelf, wiped the shelves, and put the books back neatly, rather than in the jumbled way I had stored them.
She pushed everything back and cleaned the floors and/or vacuumed the carpets. She worked her way backwards out of each room.
But you know what?
Every week after that (and I can't remember how long I had her come– maybe 6 months?), when she came, she just dusted the wood furniture and vacuumed (of course I had to de-clutter before she came). For a good long while that was enough.
She never deep cleaned again.
And soon I realized she wasn't going to, and the fact was that with things de-cluttered anyway, I could do it myself! I knew how! I saw her!
As I got irritated with the fact that she was only dusting and vacuuming (I could do that! I had already done the hard part of putting stuff away before she got there!), I made the decision to take on all the cleaning myself.
I had known what to do all along, and at one time I had done it, but somehow I also forgot it…but then she helped me remember.
Now, when I get to feeling that things are overwhelming, I remember that it isn't enough to vacuum the middle of the room. You have to de-clutter (and we will talk about that!), pull everything to the middle of the room, clean the edges from top to bottom, pull everything back, and clean the middle. You have to do that in one room at a time.
Then you will be set in that room for at least a few months! If the cleaning lady won't do anything about it, you don't have to either, until you are ready to fire yourself, that is!
______________
*This story is in no way to discourage you from getting cleaning help if you can afford it. At the time, we really couldn't. The point is that you need to know how to do these things whether you delegate them or not… and you will be happier doing them if you know how, anyway.
magda says
This is a wonderful post, except that your photos *DO* look like they're from a magazine. I even get that, "Ahhh, how comfortable and relaxing that looks" feeling in my head.But "You will be nicer to your children and your husband if you aren't constantly irritated by the dirt and "background noise" in your house." … is quite motivating. Thank you. (Doesn't matter where I start, so long as I do.)
Tracy says
A great post! Your house looks so charming and cozy. 🙂
southerninspiration says
I agree…..great post. I just need to make the time to do the deep cleaning. thanks!Suzanne
Decadent Housewife says
Wonderful post. My problem is books. By the time I get to the end the first ones are dusty again and meanwhile we have to eat.
coffeemamma says
Wonderfully said! I had a bi-weekly cleaning lady come in for a while when I was expecting my fourth, and she helped me to refocus and straighten out my priorities.I find I can manage the daily stuff just fine now if I have Hubby help with the de-cluttering and spring cleaning (twice a year). He's very thorough and organized, and I'm, well… not 😉
Domestic Accident says
Because you're so highly educated? Because you used to be an executive? Because your mom should help you?Because you could be earning a big salary if, if, if….? Because your girlfriends don't have to?Oh my goodness, this made me laugh. Only because many years ago, those very words may have been uttered in my head.
beckygiggles says
I love this series. I can't wait for the decluttering part!
Jules says
This is exactly what I woke up with on my mind to do today. Except with the schooling and the distractions and the laundry it has not happened .. yet. This post has just strengthened my resolve to get it done though!
Brooke says
Hi. I'm pretty new to your blog. Love it though! The comment Because you are to educated, because you used to be…. that made laugh and almost cry. I only have 3 kids at home to care for and school and I get so overwhelmed with getting everything done. As I find myself running around like a chicken with my head cut off I often have a recording going in the back of my mind….didn't I go to graduate school? How is it I am now the maid? I know…awful. I'll get up and go work on the laundry. Thanks. : )
Elisia says
This is my first year homeschooling and it seems like the house has turned upside down with the "wreckage" of 5 children. Often times I have felt like giving up. Everytime I read your posts I feel like you are my mom giving me a big hug, and gently telling me "you can do this, let me help and show you how." From the bottom of my heart I would like to thank you, you have no idea how much your posts have meant to me. I am looking forward to reading your other posts. May God Bless You.
Tracy says
Leila, Thank you for such a great post and I LOVE that you are tackling this- it's nice coming from you, since you are so common sense and been-there-done-that. Can I ask you, though? How long does this take- the pulling to the middle, the washing it all down, the pushing back, etc. I want to do this, but have in my brain it's like half of a day per room when I have two small kiddos. When you do it now, what can you expect this to take you?
Deirdre says
A) I never knew you ever had a cleaning lady!! The things I'm learning about my *own mother* on this blog…B) You ladies are making me very emotional by showing my mom so much well-deserved appreciation! Blog post comments are NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME CRY! You're awesome, Mama!
Anonymous says
Dear Leila,Thanks for this series! Your topics are so dear to the heart of us homemakers. With your inspiration, direction and encouragement we're all going to strive to be such good examples of keepers at home so no-one will blaspheme the word of God. Thanks so much for all the work that goes into sharing this information with us using your clever and witty style. You are unique! Linda
Anonymous says
Wonderful! This blog and posts like this one are what I've been searching for. So much inspiration and just what I need. I'm looking forward to reading about decluttering.Can you please tell me how you get your wood floors to look so good?Thank youHeather
Anonymous says
Thank you and Yes. Please tell us about your floors.joan
Kim says
Absolutely spot on! And you are right about quantity. It is the clutter that keeps us from cleaning. Cleaning is not that big a job. Getting to the stuff to be cleaned is what overwhelms most people.
Anna says
"If you are home today and your house is dirty and no one is coming to clean it in an hour, then you have to deal. It's as simple as that."THIS is the thing that I was not taught, did not GET until recently. When I remember this, I can tackle things with ease, and I have a happy, clean house.
Polly says
Love it! My method is like that–do a big scrub every so often, and otherwise, it's maintenance. It works! (The first lightbulb came on when my grandmother said, about a neighbor with a gorgeous Victorian house with lots of pretty *stuff*, after I said "she probably has to dust all the time!"–my grandma said "oh, I think she just keeps the house so clean she doesn't need to do that." (And so does my grandmother.)) A-ha. Maintenance.
Mary says
During a very difficult time in my life, my husband blessed me with a cleaning lady and I too learned many lessons. De-cluttering everyday is the key to happiness. If I stay on top of it…life is manageable. Life lesson learned.Thanks for the reminder my dear.
Anonymous says
Yet another reason you are my hero. Great reminder post.A
Sue says
Your photos make me want to visit your house, pick up a good book from your well stocked shelves, and settle in on that lovely striped sofa with all the pillows!I am so glad that it's never too late to learn new things. My mom was the queen of clean and organization – always 10 minutes early to any appointment. I always thought I had her genes… until I moved out and realized that I am actually just like my dad! Ahem.When I read your posts I feel like I am reading a personal letter just to me! Thank you, dearest Leila.
Renae says
Oh, this made me laugh, because I was a cleaning lady! I worked on weekends off and on for years. Yes, it is easy to clean houses that are not cluttered. That is the hard part. Coming in to clean a picked up house is a bit of work, but being able to just focus on cleaning makes it seem a breeze.
Margo says
love this post! I got my butt in gear last year and it is heaven. Today I actually posted a review on one of the housekeeping books you recommended, Leila, one I hadn't know about. I really liked it AND I felt affirmed, not judged by it! Oh, the progress.I love your home, too. Magazines leave me cold. They are not homes, but they do have ideas for my home, so I keep looking. But yours? Now that's the kind of home I want to visit.
Leila says
The floor in this room is some sort of old wide pine boards. The wood is somewhat soft, so it's been dented and dinged through the 150 years of its existence. Someone along the way stripped whatever paint or finish was on there and finished it with oil-based polyurethane (the only proper finish for this kind of floor, as the movement it experiences requires something that won't crack or chip).I vacuum it and clean it up with either a damp cloth for spots or a spray they sell at the hardware store for cleaning wood floors that have been poly'd. You spray a section and then wipe with a cloth or a cloth-covered mop type thing.The light was so low on the day I took these pictures that you can hardly see all the defects. Remember, there isn't MORE perfection in what you don't see in the pictures — there's LESS! :)As to the time it takes to deep clean a room– you know what I'm going to say, right?It depends. How big is the room? How much is in it? What can you get out of there before you start?Think about it before you get going. Visualize yourself pulling everything out and taking it one step at a time. Think about where you will pause if you need to go do something else. Could you get the perimeter clean and then do the middle another day?Don't be afraid. You can do it! I'll be talking more about it. For now, just think!
Pilar says
Hi I love your post!!! I feel like that my self many times!!! I think one the problems in my case that is, I was told not to cook because i could get burn just clean on the weekends because I had school and not to wash clothes because i was way to tired from school or work or simply because my mom loved my so much she could just do it all for me ;because some day i will be away from home and will miss "the good times" I love my mom but after having a family it is hard for her to understand why things are so hard for me, after all i was raised to be a succesful working professional woman not a stay home mom. I'm learning with God to my side and "half or 1/4 of my ears open"LOL, for the love of my husband, my children and to receive this wonderful call God has made to me trough them.God
Connie says
oh you have no idea how I needed to hear this. I woke up this morning thinking, "Today I'm going to start some spring cleaning"…(I'm hopeful for spring here in Michigan…)That is exactly how I clean…WHEN I find the time to make cleaning a priority. Feeling a little overwhelmed these days, so thanks for the inspiration, Leila!
Anonymous says
I'm new to your blog but OMG did I need your post this week. We are so buried under clutter and I needed some motivation. Since this morning, my son's room has been 'deep' cleaned, 4 garbage bags later. So Thank You – Thank You, you're post came just at the right time. — Mary
JMB says
Wonderful post! Cleaning & order have always come easy for me. One thing I learned is that I do have more energy (and less patience) the week before my period so I tackle any large jobs (cleaning out the toy room, dusting baseboards in the house, doing windows, etc) during that week. The remaining 3 I'm on maintenance mode.
Peter and Nancy says
Thank you, Auntie! The hot clutter spots at my house are under the beds . . . *shudder*Time to tackle at least one! Thanks for the inspiration.Hugs,Nancy
Faith says
You are like the Sister Mary Martha (do you know her blog?) of housekeepers and mothers. Thank you for your honesty and challenges to all of us struggling with making a home. Thank you!!
Laura says
Thank you. This is just what I needed to hear. I cleaned my living room after I read this, and the house feels so much more peaceful now. I am looking forward to your de-clutter post, because I need serious help with that. There are 6 of us in a 3 bedroom house, and I just wish the bedrooms were less cluttered, but I'm having a hard time getting started. Thanks for your blog. 🙂
wifeandmom says
Beautiful post! Precious wisdom. I think I'll read it again!
Megan says
I need tips for deep-cleaning with several small children (age 5 and under) at home with me all day. I have tried soliciting their "help," but they lose interest before major cleaning projects are finished, and find ways to get themselves into trouble elsewhere when I am busy trying to finish up the chore I'm working on. Or they do help but in ways that are not truly helpful and make bigger messes (licking the windows to 'wet' them as they wash windows, for example).
janjan says
I clean a holiday home after guests have left, Its a pleasure to clean – no clutter, streamlined and basic. I go home, look at all my clutter and say thats it, its all going, I want minimalism. I have a list that the holiday home owner gave me of how she expected the house to be left and the cleaning jobs I had to do every time. Oh Boy, I tried it with my house. I actually enjoyed all the 'deep cleaning' but the novelty soon wore off and I'm back to my lived in, cluttered, homely house.When friends say "we love coming here, its so calming, so comfy, so welcoming" thats all that matters.
Leila says
Megan, you have to be patient! 🙂 If I posted one post with all the tricks and tips I've learned in 30 years you would feel terrible and it would do you no good.Longanimity…Janjan, remember: we're after the REASONABLY clean house, not the sparkling no-personality house. Everyone needs cleanliness, and everyone also needs a LIFE!The people who are naturally clean or don't have kids (or maybe don't have kids around much anymore) never knew or forget how hard it is for someone who just NEVER LEARNED to get things clean.We're working on that. So ladies, just think about it for a while. Make your menus, do your laundry, and think about cleaning!
PNG says
I love this post! I, too, had a cleaning lady for 2 years…the first 2 years we homeschooled our kids. We let her go last September because my husband and I thought we were ready to fly solo again. It was the best thing we ever did! I learned from her how to clean my home. I knew something about this, and I do consider myself a neat-freak and a cleaning machine. However, I had become unmotivated and scattered.:( We are now able to keep up…what am I saying…we are due to have our 7th child in 5 weeks!!! Anyway, for now we are able to keep a cleaning schedule where everyone in the house pitches in as we await the birth of our baby. Thanks for your awesome post!
Nil Zed says
ah, I see my problem! I've been coasting. We moved back from overseas, and though I did a quick clean before our stuff arrived, I've not done a deep clean since. We got rid of a lot of clutter so maintenence was easy. But lately, I can't seem to get the housework done. It's because the clutter has crept in. Some of it needs a home (that is, we are still short of furniture) but the rest of it could just go. What makes me saddest is we moved into this home new. 6 years of regular deep cleaning and regular maintenance meant it still looked pretty good. Two and a half years of nice college girls and their dog ruined it. They never cleaned the nooks and crannies. The edges and corners are dirty. I've been moaning, but really, I haven't actually tried to deep clean them. So, yeah, I need to get back into proper habits. We are home for good, not just passing through.
Anonymous says
Just found this blog and I am in love. I am one of those – if only my house were clean types. My excuse – I have a four month old, 22 month old, 4 year old and 7 year old. I am constantly nursing, making sippy cups, changing diapers, and then trying to homeschool. No family to help and a DH who leaves before daybreak and gets home at 7 p.m. Is it possible to be this organized at this stage or am I just sounding whiny. I have a cleaning lady but she does a terrible job and I pay her too much but she is kind to my kids and needs the money. I spent hundreds at grocery store but just never feel like I have the time to organize meal plans. I am in survival mode but desperately want the home you describe above…
Anonymous says
Thank you for the answer on how to keep wood floors looking good. Tips on decluttering soon please! I'd love to see more pictures of your house too, so inspiring. Heather
Anonymous says
Loved this! But oh yes – decluttering remedy please! I can't begin to get motivated to do a deep clean whilst the place is so cluttered – too much stuff, too much to move to clean.Much more of this sort of thing please!Nella
Jasmine says
Thank you! I am new to your site (found you in January) and already the effects are felt here at home. Meals are being made and we are no longer eating out or on the run (I am down 4 pounds this month without trying, just eating every meal at home). The laundry is moving (I still don't like it but it has become more bearable) And finally the house is getting but back together. After a rough year with some kind of post partum something, new homeschooling (1st grade) and generally being overwhelmed the house had been a major mess. With new determination the upstairs has been decluttered and "spring" cleaned and now I am moving on to the downstairs. (hoping I can keep up with the rooms that have already been cleaned). Anyway, Thank you, Thank you. I have been learning a lot searching around on your site. Thanks, Jasmine
Pippajo says
Have to add my praise and admiration to this LONG list! I was telling my sister about this post and she told me, amazed, that this is exactly what her dear, sweet mother-in-law, who is an excellent housekeeper, did for her after her son was born. My sister watched in amazement as her MIL and SIL pulled all the furniture into the center of the room, went around the perimeter of the room wiping EVERYTHING down, then put the furniture back and tackled the center of the room, vacuuming like 6 times! My sister said she wanted to sit down with a note pad while they were doing it. People like us are fascinated with people like that. We just were never taught to do it or how to do it.One more question: I have begun my own deep cleaning in my house and want to know, how often does a normal person do this?
Mamalama says
Can I just say how much I am looking forward to the rest of this series? One day I will be able to stand in the middle of one of the rooms in my house struck by Hurricane Stan-Emma-James-Maggie-Ben-Sophie-Lucy-Ruby, wonder, "What would Auntie Leila do?" and have all the answers! O Happy Day!!
Michelle says
Faboulous post. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who isn't a natural born cleaner. I do what I have to…but it's not enough….as I DO love a clean home. But like you…I get overwhelmed. I think the key is to just DO IT. Dive in…and clean. And you will feel so much better once it's done. I just did a deep clean in my kitchen two weekends ago…and I am LOVING how it feels. Thank you for your honesty…and no, maybe your home isn't in a magazine…but it sure is beautiful and inviting and warm. And that's more important in my book!
Anonymous says
I love this post of cleaning the Master Bedroom, I agree with you, it is the best place to start, as to me it is my sanctuary, my private area which I treasure and would love to have it clean and ready for relaxation when I am ready.My only confusing part is I would like to follow the next blog after that where you say you will tell us about this or that, but I do not know where to find the next blog after it. I do not want to jump but continue completing the reading on the bedroom cleaning. Can you please help me on how I do that?Thank you for the wonderful post, so alive and inspiring! Mumtaz
Leila says
Dear Mumtaz, All the cleaning posts are listed on the sidebar under Happy Home: Reasonably Clean House. The bedroom post is here: <a href="http://ourmothersdaughters.blogspot.com/2010/03/reasonably-clean-house-did-you-guess.htmlhttp://ourmothersdaughters.blogspot.com/2010/03/r… />Is there something in particular you are looking for?
milene says
Dear Leila
met your blog by Sarah – Amongst Lovely Things, when I asked for help to her about how to organize my house I have three children (you should be laughing at me now). I have thought about a cleaning lady. I am the fourth child on the way, desperate for failing to put my house in order and instruct one school-age child. I am now with my laundry like a room after an explosion … I encoragei and accessed your blog. I arrived in this post. I thought, “Americans have always cleaner the envied for doing all?.” Curious read the post. I thought both a cleaning lady, at least when my baby was born, but I wonder how will I ever “leave the house clean to clean it.” that’s it! I am ashamed to let someone come in here and help me. Go out vilifying me the neighborhood (haha). In a way this post encouraged me a bit. If you need to de-clutter, well, I guess the rest of us do.
Courage! One step at a time, but I think I will continue alone.
Big hug Leila.
I will continue reading and learning here.
Carolee says
This all sounds so easy, but the reality of 5 boys (one of which is a nursing baby), gardening & harvesting…, homeschooling 4, cooking, laundry (no dryer), budgeting, shopping & only one moderate income (actually could qualify for aid) makes it hard to get one’s brain around the process. As I move to declutter, 5 children follow with cluttering. Yes, the children have chores, but need constant prodding to complete the same. I feel like a hamster in a wheel, running all the time and not getting anywhere. Is there any hope? Are your pictures from a house of a similar family situation or are there no young children living there now? Your plans & pictures are meant to encourage, I’m sure, but can actually be discouraging.
Kay says
I know this is an old post, but I JUST found your blog, and I am reading as fast as I can! I am *determined* to figure this out! I cannot stand clutter in this small double wide with 6 people squashed inside. And we have loonng winters, so we are stuck indoors a lot.
Thank you for speaking my language! And your house looks like a well-loved, cozy hoe. I love it.
Kay says
I meant *home!!
Leila says
Glad you found us, Kay!