I have to talk about it…it seems to be an issue with some moms who find themselves at home with small children — a state that strikes them as something akin to finding oneself in the outback facing a herd of kangaroos, or maybe going to Mars without the flight manual. I kind of wish there had been something like this post when I was a young mom, so take it as a message to the young me if you like.
Now, I realize that many, many people are fine with certain things that seem obvious and are part of a normal person's life.
Other people– idealistic, romantic, very well read, intelligent people — can't seem to manage these things, partly because they are thinking so very hard, and partly because they (we) can't — and this will sound very strange to you others — buy themselves what they need to get started.
Well, at least you will be amused by this little glimpse into my sadly impaired past. And no, I'm not going to have pictures of showers.
Among other impractical things, and being very young (19) when I got married (really a college student, though my husband is older than I), I took a shower when I noticed I was dirty. Usually this was every day just like other folks. But other times, if I was involved in something else, I didn't take a shower.
Truly, I just didn't have a routine. It was something I thought about in order to accomplish, or did because I didn't have anything else to do.
Since it happened often that something I hadn't planned on, forgot about, or suddenly wanted to do prevented me from showering, I was often not as fresh as I would have liked to have been at any given moment.
I was cute and not oppressive to others, don't worry. But sometimes I was less showered than other times, in a way that made me just not feel…cheerful.
And I sort of had a vague 70s hippie idea that you shouldn't be vain — that it was a bourgeois vanity to indulge in new towels, blow dryers, and sundry items necessary for efficient grooming.
You kind of had to be there.
In due course, we had a baby, and that was a bit of a shock. I wanted a family more than anything, but the reality of a little person to take care of all by myself stunned me, to the point that even something as mundane as going to the bathroom seemed a bit beyond my capabilities.
Little by little, by dint of simply being forced to make do, I found out that you can bring the baby in with you to lie on the rug while you take care of yourself; you can leave him in his crib for 20 minutes; you can leave the four-year old in charge of an 10-month old in a playpen, while the 2-year old naps.
And somewhere along the line I realized something else.
I realized that I felt wonderful — elated in fact — under two circumstances, and it might be that revealing this will expose me as much more shallow than you ever really thought.
I felt positively exalted after 1) I mopped the kitchen floor and/or 2) I had washed my hair.
This led me to tell my husband in so many words: If you see that I'm feeling depressed, please remind me to either wash the floor or my hair. Or both.
And he did. Many many times he (a very hard-working young man) would gently say, “Hon, do you need to wash your hair?”
And I would think, yes, I do.
{Or I'd sigh and reply, “No, but I should wash the floor.”}
One day it came to me. If I just washed my hair every other day (it was very long and very thick) come hell or high water, I would ensure that I would not experience a sense of the futility of life on account of my hair.
The heavens just parted and dropped that information right down into my brain.
{I also started washing the floor on a regular schedule, but we're not really talking about that right now.}
Skipping to where I really worked this out — and really, many of you might want to go see what's happening on some other blog — I am now going to tell you what you need to do and what you need to buy to avoid the pitfall of not having showered: To eliminate this cause of mental distress from your life completely, unless the electricity should go out or there is some other act of God.
First, and dear friends, I really don't care what time of day you deem best for this, pick a time. At night? Morning? Kids' naptime? After the gym? But do bookish, impractical, pregnant and/or nursing moms go to the gym? I didn't.
Now, you need the following:
Your very own towel, and maybe even two whole towels. I have one large towel for my body and one smaller one for my hair. It's okay. You rate two towels. You have my permission. Give some thought to a hook right by the shower for said towels.
A bathrobe. This is an old-fashioned garment that you may not have heard of or considered as anything you would ever in a million years want.
But it is useful, and let me ‘splain it to you.
First, it enables you to go from point A to point B without being either fully clothed or completely naked or even wrapped in one of your towels. It's truly a great invention.
It goes over undergarments in case of forgetting that the clothing you wanted is in the dryer.
It goes over nightclothes in case of wanting to start the coffee when your husband's college roommate is visiting and could appear at any moment but someone's in the bathroom.
If you get one with a terry lining (or that's terry all the way through), it completes the drying process while remaining firmly secured to your person, should you have to receive a box from a delivery-man's arms, get the dog out of the driveway suddenly, or even run out of the house in case of fire.
It's not wet, unlike your towel, and it's not clothing, unlike your clothing, although some are quite pretty.
You might even find you can remain robed long enough to pluck your eyebrows, clip your toenails, and perform other corporal works of mercy. I'm not saying you have to have a bathrobe. I'm just saying, consider it.
Slippers. The floor can be cold. Slippers can be nice. Why not get pretty ones or very warm shearling ones if you live in an icebox like I do? Throw away the ratty Mickey Mouse scuffs your roommate gave you freshman year.
Shampoo and conditioner. Stock up on what you like. You don't have to spend a lot, but do get yourself something you like.
Soap. And by soap I mean soap, body wash, whatever makes you feel clean and leaves your skin healthy. Being from the 70s, I just use soap.
Stock up on soap, because it would be silly to say to yourself, “I can't take a shower because there isn't any soap.”
A razor. Paralyzed by your hairy legs? Just stick the razor (any double-bladed disposable razor will do, just change it often) in the shower, and while your hair is conditioning, give your legs and underarms a quick pass, using plenty of soap.
If you do it on a regular basis, you don't have to do it very carefully — not in the sense that you don't have to be careful with a razor, but in the sense that you have to if you only do it once in a while and would be afraid to leave a big swath of unshaven long hair that you had missed.
Think of frequent shower-shaving as having one of those robotic vacuums…just randomly doing some of the job all of the time.
Moisturizer. Antiperspirant (yes, like shaving, I believe in this despite the 70s thing; just smell nice if you don't — please don't start a comment argument about it :). Use after you are dried off.
A blow dryer. If it's less than 90* outside, you really want to dry your hair before going somewhere. It just looks better.
Product. Don't you love that word? Something very specific with the most generic name possible.
Why don't they call it “thing” or “stuff”?
But one reason you might not wash your hair often enough is that it might have the tendency to frizz, like mine. If so, you worry that the first part of your day, at least, will be spent with the sure knowledge that you look like something out of an 80s yearbook.
But Product (and a good haircut) will solve this for you. After you blow dry your hair, put through your locks a dab of something that says something like “crunch curl anti-frizz hard curl super mega hold gel” — basically, nice-smelling glue.
It will change your life and you owe it to yourself to try a few until you find the one you like.
And that is all.
Now.
If you can't shower for some reason, I'm going to go further with some really old-fashioned advice — as well as a collective-memory item if there ever was one:
How to sponge bathe.
Why, Auntie Leila, do you have to go there? Because I seem to specialize in detailed instructions about stuff everyone knows how to do…
…but do people know how to sponge bathe in this day and age of instant hot water, endless clean towels, and a bathroom for every family member?
Hmph. What if there are 20 people staying at your house and you only have 4 minutes in the bathroom? What if you are camping? What if you are in Africa?
Brush your teeth.
Get a basin or sinkful of very warm water.
Get a washcloth. Get some soap or body wash.
Wash your body in sanitary order, rinsing the cloth and resoaping as needed: Face (rinse after washing, then just use a bit of soap), back of the ears, neck, underarms, euphemistic areas (front, then back), feet. If you have the luxury of replacing the water at any point, do so. Place washcloth in hamper.
Freshen your hair with a bit of clean water on your hands. Apply scent. You are as good to go as you can reasonably be expected to be under the circumstances!
Teach your children to sponge bathe, as Auntie Leila fears the younger generation believes that if there is no shower, there is no way to get clean, which isn't true.
My dear young friend, you will do the others in your life a good deed if you, rather than unwittingly projecting the sense of cluelessness you feel inside, offer them the hopeful sign of your fresh, cheerful presence every day that you are able. I know that it isn't always possible. We all have our bad patches, even in the best regulated households! Try your best, though, and you will see the results, I promise!
April says
How interesting that you post this when, just the other day, hubby gently mentioned to me that perhaps I should shower more often (because men apparently *don’t* want to hear, “Not tonight, honey–I haven’t showered today.”). He also seemed to imply that I could, you know…not wear sweatpants all the time, but instead, try to look like I care. I think he’s on to something! 🙂
Barb says
I really wish I could share this with a mom that I talked to yesterday. She’s in a tough place right now, both financially and due to family issues. I think she’s showering :), but even though she’s nursing her 17 month old, she isn’t taking a multi-vitamin. I hope my suggestions help her realize that she needs to take care of herself first and that it’s not a selfish act to take care of oneself.
Mrs. B. says
“you will do the others in your life a good deed if you, rather than unwittingly projecting the sense of cluelessness you feel inside, offer them the hopeful sign of your fresh, cheerful presence every day that you are able” – so beautifully put…
It reminded me of something I once read in a St. JM Escriva’s homily (in the book Christ is Passing By): “Wives, you should ask yourselves whether you are not forgetting a little about your appearance. Remember all the sayings about women having to take care to look pretty. Your duty is, and will always be, to take as good care of your appearance as you did before you were married – and it is a duty of justice, because you belong to your husband.”
Taking care of oneself not as a matter of vanity, but because it will help your marriage and your family life… I have been so foolish! Thank you for reminding me!
Mrs. B.
Bethany says
Thanks for this helpful and humorous post. I read it while taking a break from working on my dissertation, and it was just the breath of shower-fresh air I needed. I have to admit, that I haven’t yet showered today. Sigh. But I’m inspired! I’ll write better if my hair is clean–you’re right!
Also, I’m with you on the importance of learning to sponge bathe. Growing up, I shared the bathroom with three boys, and we called the sponge bath a “three point shower.” Certainly, it’s a useful skill! 🙂
Decadent Housewife says
Oh my. The memories.
It’s okay to pee and nurse a baby at the same time too.
Just make sure to not cross contaminate.
Mab says
first of all, I’m still laughing at Decadent Housewife’s response (glad to know that I’m not alone) and since i’m nursing while typing, i’m going to keep this short and just say that i loved the post, as usual… can your next post be on toilet training obstinate 3 year-old boys?
MomCO3 says
Dear Auntie Leila, You crack me up. I recently discovered your blog and have been enjoying every post I can get my eyes on, including this one. I actually posted yesterday on the miracle of washing my floor. Just thought you’d want to know.
Your not-so-young friend, Annie
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/momco3
Jodi says
So happy to have found your blog. Your humor is quite refreshing. Had my first sponge bath on a short-term missionary trip to the Ukraine. I was staying on the ninth floor of a Stalin-built flat. Even though there was a bathroom, hot water (or any water) coming out of the pipes on a daily basis was not guaranteed. But having the opportunity to be clean made my inability to adjust to the time difference bearable.
Breanna says
Here’s the thing, Leila–I’m a registered nurse, and in school they hammered into our heads OVER and OVER the benefits of bathing (patients): it keeps their skin from getting broken down. It lifts their spirits. If warm enough, it helps with pain control. It gives the nurse the opportunity to examine their skin and make sure that nothing bad is going on. It gives the patient “touch time” where they are being handled by a person vs. sixteen machines. It makes life in an uncivilized place like a hospital or nursing home more civilized. All of this applies to mommies as well (well, except the machine thing–but it’s nice to have a loofah on your skin instead of six or eight sticky kiddo hands).
The thing is, I , but still went for a long time helpless to shower without leaving a screaming baby in my husband’s arms at night. And my hair does not adapt well to going to bed damp. It just seemed easier to be grungy, although it made me depressed. (Why do we not see our depression as a problem that needs fixing as much as, say, a wobbly changing table or a car that’s going “ungah-ungah-ungah”?)
So this is meant to make you feel a little better; I was 23, not a hippie, and had probably more knowledge about various types of baths than anyone needs when I had my girlie, and I still found myself wandering around unable to pinpoint that I needed to wash my hair. Or the floor.
(Have to agree with you on the magical properties of those two washings.)
Anyway, ladies, now that I have two of ’em and am managing to shower every other day (dry skin), I can attest to the playpen thing. The girlie has lately decided it’s thrilling to strip naked and sit on the potty chair while I shower quickly like a madwoman. It will get better.
I. Love. This. Series!
Thanks for writing it!
Breanna
Breanna says
Erg. Blogger formatting is hard. I meant to say, “The thing is, I knew all this….” above.
Hope says
Thanks for this post, very re-freshing and a great reminder to take care of ourselves. I love all your posts! They are warming to a young mother’s heart. I have the shower thing down but anxiously await the floor advice!
one of my downfalls…. 🙂
Pippajo says
Hold on, still laughing…
Okay, whew, first, nice smelling glue. Totally using that phrase from now on.
Second, euphemistic parts. Also going in the lexicon.
Third, I have strong feelings about sponge baths that aren’t at all your fault. I spent 77 days on complete bedrest in the hospital while pregnant with Man-Cub and all I had access to was sponge baths, always with the assistance of a nurse because I wasn’t allowed to sit up or bear down to shave my legs or wash my own feet. Don’t even get me started on how we washed my hair! Thus, sponge baths and I are not friends. However, I can see that for a person without emotional baggage such as mine, they are a great idea. And might I suggest as somewhat of an alternative, a quick “topping and tailing” in about 4 inches of water in the bathtub. My kids and I do that all the time (The Viking has perfected the 5-minute power shower).
And now you’ve got me wondering, am I perhaps one of those problematic idealistic, romantic, well read (can’t quite bring myself to say “very”), intelligent, bookish and impractical people you speak of? Great, now I’m going to be thinking about that too much!
I need to go make my bed. That’s what does it for me.
scmom (Barbara) says
Oh, Leila,
I really and truly chuckled through that whole post. Did our mothers fail us that we didn’t truly know that making our own hygiene should be a priority? (I know mine did!) How many times my poor husband came home from work to a grumpy, not-so-great-smelling wife!
Yes, the baby can sit in his little bouncy chair right next to the shower door/curtain (on the floor — never on a raised surface). And he can fuss, or even cry, all the way through your shower. It’s not ideal, but crying never hurt one little baby. And just think how happy he will be to see your face when you emerge from the shower all clean and happy.
I know you’ve heard it before, but the saying is so, so true “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
Pam says
You are so precious and geniune! I love you dearly, Leila.
For those with little bitty ones, I found that having my stroller inside was very helpful. Just strap them in with some toys when you need to put them down, especially when you need to use the potty or are moving about from room to room tidying up. The stroller is easy to move around with you.
Blessings!
Pam
MamaBug says
Oh dear!!!
With a four year old and a four month old nursing mother, I completely sympathize. Empathize, even!! I forgot where I learned the sponge bath, but it has gotten me through the week every so often.
One of the best things, though, is the “dry shampoo”. I’ve seen it in salons, but haven’t looked for it in grocery/drug stores. It holds off washing your hair daily if you can.
Another trick for slightly oily/dirty hair is BABY POWDER!!! a little bit on the oily roots, tousle into hair, and quick brush. It absorbs the oil and you don’t feel half as nasty!!
New blog reader, and I love it! Keep it up!
MamaBug
Margo says
I love this post!
My mom did teach me to sponge bathe, so you can feel good about that. And I have already taught my 4 year old daughter 🙂
I recall putting my kids in the high chair outside the bathroom because that was faster than setting up the pack n play. I gave them books and puzzles and flew as fast as I could!
Freckled Hen says
This post gave me that laugh/cry kind of feeling. Even when you write about cleaning yourself it sounds poetic. It’s all good advice. I feel a bit ashamed of myself, actually. I have the shower itself down but sometimes I let my hair dry with no evident part and one side real big, the other flat. I must do better!
Nori Coleman says
I always shower first no matter what! I cannot function unless I feel clean. I clean myself, then my home then get busy with the days chores. I try to impress this upon my children, also.
Six years ago I had a ppd and my daily routine literally saved my life. I still showered and got dressed and cleaned my home and everything else fell into place. I always new things were going to be ok if I was still taking care of myself physically. I just needed to get a bit more routine in the emotional department. My whole clean routine has shown me how to clean up my act in the spiritual realm also. Clean on the outside helps to get clean on the inside. Thanks for the confirmation.
Anna says
I remember, with my first, the exact time of the mobile music, because I tried my best to be in/out of the shower by the time it was over. Now I have bigger kids to watch the littles.
Anonymous says
Dear Leila,
I seriously love you. Thank you for caring so much, and thank you for this post! I commented on one of your other posts about not showering for 2 or 3 days at a time and wearing 1 day old spit up on clothing. I think you guys are right about the washing the hair thing. It is a huge difference when I wash my hair!
I love your sense of humor, and I am going to take a shower right now!!! After dinner, I am going to shop for a bathrobe. You are simply amazing. Thanks for the kick in the behind that I need. 🙂 🙂
Sue says
You’ve done it again. You made my day just by being you!
I’m past the “I can’t find time to shower stage” now that I have very capable and dependable older kids to help, but I sure remember those days!
I did recently realize that I have been hurrying through the routine and neglecting my moisturizing. That’s a big no-no for us ladies with dry skin – especially in the winter. I have to force myself to slow down and grease myself up. Much nicer for hubby, too!
Anonymous says
Dear Auntie Leila,
I remember how delightfully luxurious it felt to take a basic shower during the first few weeks w/ a new baby. Not only physically clean, but restored after having spent a few simple moments taking care of yourself.
The bouncy chair, and later the Johnny Jumper in the doorway, were lifesavers. Singing and peering around the curtain all soapy provided ample entertainment.
Keep it up!
Carrien says
Funny. I was hoping you would have tips to not taking too long in the shower as that is my downfall.
But I do have on great tip to add. Don’t use soap to shave, use conditioner. What ever is left on your hands after putting it in your hair is usually enough. It’s way less drying, so you can skip moisturizer if you’re in a hurry and don’t itch all day.
Mary says
Wonderful post! I have used baby wipes on occasion to bathe with when we are camping. They take off the first layer of yuck.
Using “product” is key to not having to wash the hair everyday. When I blow dry and use product, I can go a day without washing my hair and it doesn’t look like a porcupine nest.
Thanks for all the help Leila!
patches of me says
I remember learning from a German girlfriend about “german baths”, and mom always called it a “spit bath”. In any case, whatever you might call it – sink baths – it was good information.
Leila, As I was reading, I wondered how you would address the private areas you called, “euphemistic areas (front, then back)”. VERY clever indeed!!
Carrien – thanks for the heads up on the conditioner. Seems in this dry winter weather I’m having to double moisturize everything. Sometimes I get so slicked up that I think I might just slide right out of bed some night.
Sarah says
I adore you.
I really do.
Leila says
You guys are all so funny and good with your suggestions.
Anonymous, I know (from my emails and from other blogs I read) that you are not the only one! But I am thankful that you are back :)We endeavor to give satisfaction!
XOXO
blessedmommie says
Leila,
Thank you for this post and all that you write. I laughed as I read this, it was so funny, and true. This is an area of my life and home that I only recently have gotten under control. And I noticed a big difference in how I feel, as well as how productive I am, when I am fresh and clean and ready for the day. I know it must make my little ones happier to see a clean and pretty mommy emerge from the bathroom. Since they have stopped looking surprised and trying to locate their shoes and asking where we were going (when I stepped out fully dressed with my hair fixed, makeup on, and sometimes even jewelry!), I must be doing well! And I want them to know that they are the reason I get ready, that working at home is an important job. Thank you for who you are! You are such a blessing to me!
Anonymous says
Sometimes I feel like you’re writing just for me!
This week I splurged on a pink towel that is off limits to all children in the house. I am going to give myself the dignity of not reusing a towel even if it is just slightly damp and altogether clean!
Meredith
magda says
“…other corporal works of mercy” brought back my mother and sister telling me to brush my teeth as a kindness for the rest of the world. Ha!
Another option for showering when the baby is awake is, if you don’t mind reducing the heat of the water, is to take the baby in for a shower with you … if you’re both up for it, that is. (We have a water baby, who asks for showers when he’s not asking to go to the pool, and I still didn’t think of taking him in with me until I panicked and my husband suggested it via online chat. Also, using baby shampoo makes me happy.)
Tracy says
Dear Auntie Leila,
I’m so happy to have found your blog! Wish I’d had it when my twins were born. Forget bathing -those first two months I’d sometimes not even go pee until my husband got home. What did I think would happen to the babies? They weren’t mobile. What trouble could they get into??
But now I have a really good trick. We found that they are soothed by the sound of water running, so now I take a nightly bath and it helps them go to sleep. Win-win.
Thanks for all that you do.
Tracy
P.S. I learned about “bird baths” from my mom who grew up without indoor plumbing. They had daily bird baths plus a weekly wash-tub bath – all using the same water starting with oldest down to youngest. My mom was youngest. I really, really appreciate my baths.
Anonymous says
In the army we called the sponge bath “hitting the hot spots…”
Glad to know I’m not the only one who uses robes:)
Ana says
So glad you posted this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this world of shower-baby limbo. Since giving birth a year ago, my shower times have become my prized possession, and much harder to come by.
I was reminded today that I should get a bathrobe – not only by you, but by my son, who was interested in all the “buttons” I have after I rescued him from his crib straight from the shower (had woken from his nap). Oh, my.
Anne R Triolo says
I read this post outloud to John last night, we both laughed our heads off. I think he was a little horrified about leg shaving. 😛 I agree though: shave every shower! I didn’t use to do this, but then one evening my husband and I were watching a movie and I had my legs across his lap and he absent mindedly began to rub them and (still absent mindedly, he would never have been so indelicate on purpose) exclaimed over the quarter inch of stubble that he found. I was mortified. I had been using as an excuse that it was winter and I was pregnant, but after that I decided that pregnant or not I can still spare the minute it takes to do a quick once over like you described.
Also, I have used conditioner to shave, but doesn’t that gunk up your razor?
Also, I am so with you on the robe and slippers! I never used them growing up, but I use them every day now. (In fact, I think I “rate” a new one!) If you can’t shower first thing (I wait till my toddler’s first nap at 9) It’s good for keeping warm till you’re dressed. I also use it when I get out of the shower, as Leila said, a nice compromise between shivering in a towel and being fully dried and in your clothes.
Isn’t it funny what a popular topic this is??
Enbrethiliel says
+JMJ+
Great post! I found your blog today and will definitely come back to read more.
In my family, we sponge bathe using a mixture of rubbing alcohol and water instead of soap. =)
Leila says
Annie, I agree that it’s funny how popular this topic is! I honestly thought — ah well, this will be one of those posts with no comments, well, I just have to say what I have to say! LOL!
Shannon and Carey says
AS a mother of twins this post made me laugh. I do feel so much better when I take a shower but dang it if I don’t hear someone screaming bloody murder. (usually they are ok (they are 3.75) but it scares me that they could injure themselves)
I have a robe though! Warm terry one.
Love your blog.
Showered Shannon in Austin
Nina Patricia @ The Adventures of Nina Patricia says
I’m going to join the others in telling you this was hilarious and very informative. I’ve found myself laying in bed and wondering if I shower or not…only to have to get up and do in the middle of the night. I’ve been known to tell the hubs: “grab the kiddo, I need my shower” it works wonders everytime. My friends and I joke that you know you are a Mom when going to the bathroom is cause for excitment. I’m so going to talk to my kids about sponge baths. Thank you again for a wonderful insightful post.
Laura says
Well thanks a lot, Auntie Leila. On your recommendation I put “product” in my hair this morning for the first time in months, while my 2 y.o. daughter watched from the sidelines. Moved into the next room (bathrobe and slippers on, no less!) to find the two year old with a pot of Vaseline, smearing great hunks of it through her hair and yelling “I so pretty!!!”
That took a while to clean up.
I really had to laugh. Even the best advice can have unintended consequences…
Renee says
I read this yesterday and it was perfect! My two kids are 17 months apart and for 3 years after their arrival I only showered a couple times a week and only when my husband was home. Now my kids are 6 and 5 years old and my hygene is much improved! 😉 Yesterday I was feeling very gross and feeling very “stuck” waiting for hubby to get home. My 5 year old spent the day throwing up and I just didn’t feel like I could leave him even that long. (He just sort of cat-napped all day.) I read this post and laughed at how timely it was! I showered last night I feel so much better today! My 5 year old is doing better too! Amazing how a shower and a new day can improve things!
Melissa says
Too bad I used the ‘brilliant’ word already for another post. Honestly. I just loved this. Keep writing, Leila! I, too, was the bookish, lost-in-my-head, married-at-nineteen girl who wishes someone would have told me how important these practical details are. I think one thing that is refreshing about your sharing what you’ve learned (besides the sweet hilarity that charms us to pieces), is that you discovered these things as *new* at some point, then remembered what it was like to learn. Some folks seem to have emerged fully prepped for every eventuality. Some of us sort of woke to it all as we found ourselves pressed by need. This was a delightful and helpful read. I’m going to call my daughter and ask if she’s read it yet. Thank you, again.
tarynkay says
I have been trying to dry both my body and my long hair with one towel for years. This is never really successful, but I never thought that I should get more towels wet. Thank you for telling me that I rate two towels.
Yamin says
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.Lucyhttp://toddlergirls.net
Anonymous says
Being showered really does make a HUGE difference for me too. As for sponge baths…some of us in the younger generation still live in old houses, with old water heaters that can't hold the heat for a whole night and so in the winter sponge baths really are preferable over showers if I can get away with it.
Sh. Patty says
Do you have a window into my house? Or my brain? Seriously.I'm going to tell my husband to tell me what you told your husband to tell you. It's genius. And hilarious.
Melissa says
LOL. I've been reading for a couple of months now, but this is my favorite and most applicable post so far. Here I thought the day was done, but I'll sleep much better now that my floor is clean and after a shower! You're so great at articulating the truths below the surface!
Anonymous says
My grandmother used to call them "whore baths."Love your blog!
Emily (Laundry and L says
I shower every other day, but I have a routine and stick with it! The days on which I need a shower I plan to get up earlier to take it before the boys get up…otherwise my whole morning feels awful! Because, of course, I can't really get dressed until I shower, and if I'm in my pajamas I'm not really starting my day yet…ick! I don't think I've ever formally learned about a sponge bath, though, so thank you for that information!
Sh. Patty says
Emily, that's a great idea. I feel the same way about WANTING to shower in the morning. But if I picked days to shower and only got up early on those days (instead of unrealistically planning to shower every day and get up early EVERY day) it might happen! On the shower days currently, I end up doing a lot of housework in my PJs until I get a chance to shower….
scody says
Just discovered your blog through the 'small things' blog and what a find! How nice to read about real mundane but oh so relevant things like sponges and showering! I love it!! And I'm totally guilty of not showering enough because there are 'more important' things to do. Thanks for the reminder!
Cmerie says
Ha! What a timely post. After a really long day yesterday with two sick kids, and a very sick husband (and being almost 8 months pregnant) I got the kids in bed, lay myself down and cried from pure exhaustion. And then I sat up (in true pregnancy form) wiped my eyes, and told my husband I was disappearing for an hour or so to bathe. It was then I realized that I think it had been close to (gasp!) a week since my last true shower. I hadn't really noticed (and I didn't stink) since my hair had been in a perpetual ponytail all week, and I (sometimes) remember to wash my face before bed. I was amazed at how well I felt after getting clean, and lotioned, and cozy in my bathrobe. Sadly, this is not uncommon for me. I'm at that point in my life where I feel guilty for taking the time away from my (sometimes very needy) family to selfishly take care of myself. Not that anyone but me would really notice, makeup and a ponytail can hide quite a bit. 😉 Anyway, thanks for this post.
Cherie says
I love the instructions for the well read individual lacking in practical life skills.
Leah says
Amy over at Moms Toolbox asked for a favorite blog post. <a href="http://www.momstoolbox.com/blog/2011/05/04/readers-recommend/http://www.momstoolbox.com/blog/2011/05/04/reader… />I said this one!Leah
Nicki says
I love the part about the "tight ponytail." I try not to be guilty of this, and put my hair up while still looking decent. Now when I go grocery shopping and I see SO MANY women with a tight ponytail and no make up, I think, "Don't they even care???"Thanks for this post!I second the baby powder in the hair. And like a commenter above, I also was told a sponge bath was a "whore bath." I was offended when my sister told me that as I prepared to take one!
Donna L. says
Oh, my! That would cure me of taking one of THOSE! We called them *French Baths* when I was growing up in an unfinished house that my parents built–I like that name much better!
Katherine T. Lauer says
What a delightful post! I remember when I had my first baby, I had to learn how to shower again. At first every three days, but I could only manage to wash hair or shave in a given shower, so I was washing hair every 6 days and shaving every 6 days. Yeah. And then I got better. Now my routine three babies in is to shower nightly, washing hair and shaving on alternate nights.And, yes, I have asked more experienced mothers how they shower. And I've had new mothers ask me. 🙂
Huppicke says
Dear Auntie Leila, I have been visiting and reading your blog since around August 2011. One day I found this post. I have returned so many times. I always finish it smiling and then turn off the computer, go to the bathroom re-do my hair and put on some makeup and feel better. However, showering still is not routine but … today I will print out some of my favourite sentences and put it on the bathroom mirror. Thank you for dealing with the shower-problem in such an amiable way. makes me like myself again. I am just there where auntie Leila was too. Maybe someday… you know. With love from Germany,Huppicke
Tara S says
"…bookish, impractical, pregnant and/or nursing moms…"Oh, Leila! You were what I am and you are what I am trying to be. I used to mope so about that lack of collective memory – "Nobody can tell me any of the common sense things I ought to know, and that all those ladies from Road to Avonlea did every day of their lives! Woe is me!" And then somehow (who can remember how?) I found this lovely and indispensable blog. 🙂
Sue says
Just have to say that as I reflect on the last 16 months of my baby's life, this would have been SO helpful at the four month mark (and beyond!). With baby #2 arriving in July, I am mentally preparing for this by a) setting a loose sort of schedule after those first few weeks and b) making sure that what I have to wear when I emerge from the bath as a glistening and rejuvenated mommy fits and flatters me! Love LOVE LOVE this blog and the gentle inspiration to embrace motherhood, rhythm and my Catholic faith.
Jenny says
I know this is an old post, but I do have a question about this whole showering thing. Do you remember the old Seinfeld episode where Kramer asks to watch people while they shower so he can learn to how to take quicker showers? His current shower regimen required three hours and he wanted to know what to leave out to get finished more quickly.This is kinda the story of my life. So my question is, "How long should a shower take?" A regular full shave shower takes me at least a full 30 minutes of water time. If I cut everything out to the bare minimum type of shower with zero shaving, it's 15 minutes of water. Other people don't seem to have this problem! 🙂 What are they leaving out?
Leila says
Jenny, make sure you have all the things you need before you get in the shower (see the list in the post).Now, visualize what you are going to do. Pretend the hot water will run out in about a minute. What would you do first? Grab the soap and do it. Now wash your hair. Now, while conditioning, run the razor over your legs. Don't be slow – tomorrow you can get the parts you missed.Now rinse out the conditioner. Guess what.You are done.
Cathy says
I always thought I didn't shower enough because I was depressed. Maybe I am depressed because I don't shower enough!
Leila says
Yes, Cathy, I have found out about myself that I can help my mental state by doing some basic things. Taking care of yourself can make you less depressed!
Faye B. Whitesides says
Dear L, I did live in Africa for 21/2 years. Hauling heavy water sure teaches how precious water is. I am 61yrs, have had MS for 25+ yrs. My 3 wonderful children are all now living at least 2 hours away. I'm planning to move to the mountains where 2 kids are and downsize. With the cognitive losses, confusion from the MS, I follow your blog like a guide book. Today is a great think day. Ya oughta write a book. Faye
Anonymous says
Thank you so much! I'm in my early twenties and had NO CLUE how to sponge bathe! Also, your post was a good reminder to shower/bath at least every other day! God Bless!Katie
Anamaria says
This bookish, impractical, nursing mom does go to the gym! 🙂
(Well ok I do workout DVDs in my living room during naps.)
Elaine says
Leila,
I love your glowing gem of a blog and have been encouraged by so many of your posts. Once a very organised and together young mum who had the showering thing down pat…..now, as an older working single mum, tired can quickly head downhill to overwhelmed and I forget the simple steps to pick myself back up. Rereading this post reminds me and gets me back up again.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Aussie Girl
PS In Oz the collective for kangaroos is a mob……a very different use of that word to the US one….no black suits or dark sunglasses involved:)
Jennifer G says
This year, I have committed to getting my shower first, before anyone else even wakes up! It has been glorious!
My boys would LOVE it if I would teach them to take a sponge bath. Imagine…”but mom, I don’t need to shower…I bathed in the sink!” But they are 5yrs and 10 yrs old. I am guessing the days of long showers that drain the water heater are in our near future.
Clara says
Thank you Auntie Leila for these gems of common sense and forgotten collective memory! I’m re-reading this for a refresher.
God bless!
Clara