Happy Feast of St. Joseph!
I was talking to a young mother while we were waiting during dance class the other day, and as usual the topic turned to homeschooling.
“What curriculum do you use?”
I have been asked this question so many times in the past almost 20 years… and I really don't know what to say! The poor woman is about to be either inundated with information or told to read my blog 🙂 Only, I haven't said anything about it yet.
On the one hand, I'm very certain that no one curriculum will fit every child (why, even in school there are options for the children according to their interests and abilities — and one big reason to home school is that even this feels confining).
The “curriculum” I use has always been something I've made for each one. I've resigned myself to the hard, almost insanity-inducing work of doing this — and the unavoidable conclusion that I will fail.
When I look at all the resources out there — and right now you could be reading thousands of homeschooling blogs, all of which have great ideas — I get sort of… tired. And I think — what could anyone get from me on this topic?
On the other hand, I do have something to add, after all:
I'm very certain that education, whether in school or out, can hardly be limited to this idea of curriculum. Do we even know how children learn? There is no magic bullet!
I found myself saying something to her that I believe distills what I really think about the home environment, regardless of the choices made for schooling:
Your home ought to provide two things for the development of your child.
{Do you think one of them is love? I won't say that, because apart from the instinctive desire to care for our offspring and the affection that comes along with that desire, love is action for the other person.}
That's what I told her. And then I was so impressed! 🙂
I said that I make my own curriculum based on a classical idea of education (Follow the old paths!), but that I think that basically the home should provide two things: Order and Wonder.
You could see the other moms perking up and sort of looking stricken.
I would be stricken too if I overheard such a thing! What am I saying!!
Suddenly a whole world of things I am not doing, and ways I am failing, opens up!
But — fear not.
I'll try to make it clear. Or, I will try to show you how you can stumble along just like I do! At least having some goals gives some focus! And then you will be much better at it than I am!
And I've been trying to get at some of it.
Think about it: if you can't get dinner under control, how can you help your children explore the world with delight? I keep wanting to say to these questioning ladies: are you peaceful with your own duties? Do you see how many amazing things there are for your children to learn? Have you fed them recently? Washed their faces? Gotten up on time? Read a book?
Order and wonder. Too much of one, and we are out of balance, burning out and convinced we can't do any of it!
The important thing is to try.
Discuss this with your husband. Pray about it. Entrust prayers to St. Joseph, protector of the home. We'll talk about it again.
Know that marriage — your marriage — brings with it grace — a very specific grace aimed like a true arrow at a particular challenge: raising and educating our children!
Jan says
This is a wonderful post. I finished homeschooling 20 years ago and still agree with all you have said. Each of my children learned differently and one size did not fit all. That was why I homeschooled in the first place!
Michelle says
I have two boys 13 and 11. My 13 year old is a straight A honor student and very social. He enjoys school and is really good at it. My 11 year old on the other hand tolerates school…does what he needs to do to get by…and seems to be deflated at the end of his school day. Several years ago I considered home-schooling…even going to some co-op meetings and such to gather information. After praying about it…and discussing it with my husband…it was not the right time to home school. While I was disappointed, I agreed.Now here we are 3 years later and I am concerned for my younger son. I am concerned that he won't be able to keep up with junior high…academically or emotionally…so again I consider home school. He complained about school the other day and I said, "Hey…I was willing to home school you!" He replied, "I WANTED you to!" Hmmm…and now that I remember…he did. It was my 13 year old that was dead set against it.I am sorry for this LONG post…but I was wondering if you would give me your input about homeschooling my son beginning in junior high…and your opinion of only homeschooling one of my children. My boys are like night and day…very individual…but I don't want to make anyone feel left out. Your thoughts?Thank you so much…my private email is moonshinelane@aol.com if you would prefer.
Amy says
Wonderful post. I loved the post about lunches too. I am still working getting the cooking thing under control with 7 starving children all the time. I too hate lunches. It seems you finally get caught up from breakfast and the fast paced morning, and you have to get everything out and make a mess again. Right now my oldest is in junior high and not feeling great about taking her lunch to school. She is a little embarrassed about it. But the school lunches are all junk food and expensive. We are trying to compromise on buying at school and taking. We use to homeschool all the kids and I miss it sometimes. We still do kindergarten but that is it right now. It could change in the future. Thank you for your wonderful posts!!!
Camille says
Our youngest was born 4 months ago. While I was pregnant I had a 2 year old home with me. I barely managed to get up and get A meal on the table! It was chaos and I hated it. But now we are slowly getting back on our feet, and order has been restored. It has totally and completely amazed me at the change in my two year old's behavior, attitude, and play just from simple order to our days (even though with a baby, it is still a bit chaotic at times)!
Christine says
PLEASE post more about this. What a great philosophy! I'm actually not going to homeschool my only child, but I think that theory is great no matter what you do. I have dinner under control but order, I have to work on!
Erika says
What a beautiful way to sum it up–order and wonder really is the key, wherever your child is getting his or her education. I've just never been able to identify it quite that succinctly 😉 It is exactly what my parents provided us with at home(both teachers… imagine…). We went to public school, but our home environment was the center, and made things so different for us compared to so many of the other kids. My children go to school, but so much of the learning still happens at home–so I look forward to learning more too!
Anonymous says
Thank you for this post. I've never heard it put quite that way (order and wonder) but it's so very true. We don't homeschool, but I'm home with the kids (three in school, a 5-yr old and a 2-year old) and I was pleased to realize that I do give them what they need. Your insight helps me.Amy, we let the kids in school choose to buy only 2 days a week. That way they can still feel like part of the group. But you know what, only the youngest in school still buys at all. The older two usually don't like what's offered, so they make their own. One of my daughters hasn't bought her lunch in 4 years. We're okay with that. Mom in MO
Kimberly says
Exquisite…as a wife of 27 years and home educator for 13 years, I can only say, Amen and AMEN!This is my problem, at this very moment…I've allowed order to slip and wonder went with it!Thank you for this affirmation! I'm on the road back, and this helps more than you know!
Leila says
Thanks, Jan! I can't believe you FINISHED 20 years ago! And I thought I was a pioneer STARTING then! Too bad there wasn't blogging back in the day :)Michelle: there are no rules! Each family must do what is best, when it is best, for their children. Pray pray pray — esp. for wisdom for your husband. In the end, what he decides will be best, even if at the time it doesn't seem like it. Amy: I agree with Mom in MO! It's fine for them to eat at school once in a while — in the end, they like home food best. We have to be PATIENT.Camille: You are on the road to wisdom 🙂 if you can work on order with a 2 year old, you are ahead of the game!Christine: Stick around :)Erika: Thanks!Kimberly: Thanks and you are not alone! We are all battling the disorder all the time — at least we can have some fun too!
Keri says
I'm so glad you are blogging. I am thankful that I have found a godly woman who's been down the road and is willing to share what she's learned. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
G.L.H. says
"Order and Wonder. That's what I told her. And then I was so impressed!"I, too, am Impressed. And I think (if you don't mind) I will use this as a Discussion Starter at our next Homeschool Moms meeting.Thank you SO MUCH for sharing!–Barbara
Tracy says
A wonderful post! I can't wait to read more. 🙂
Crazy Carol says
Hi Leila,Love your pictures. Who is your photographer? After 30 years of raising a family, it is obvious from your blog, I can still learn some new tricks. I am still a novice at this blog thing. It took me an hour to figure out how to comment. Maybe you could talk about spending time on the computer more wisely.XOXOAuntie Carol
Leila says
Keri — You are so kind :)Barbara — ditto :)Tracy — stay tuned!Auntie Carol — as you well know, having seen me in action, there is a professional photographer who follows me all day long taking pictures of the same blasted stuff in the same gray morning light! And, as you also well know, I will tell you how to do everything more wisely 😉
Pretty Organizer says
Hey, just popping by to give you that party reminder you asked for! My Toile Party will be on Tuesday the 24th so get that post ready and come link up!
Nancy says
RuthI recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.Ruthhttp://pianonotes.info
Leslie says
I am going to snag this phrase "order and wonder" and somehow incorporate it into our home school name…Thanks!
McCalla Hill says
I am SOOO excited to have found your WONDERFUL blog. My friend Terri sent me a link and I have been jumping from post to post feeling so connected and excited. I have a 6 month old baby girl and she has turned my world and my concept of myself upside down!! Since she arrived, I have felt compelled to leave the work place and be a stay at home mom. Furthermore, I have come to believe that I will want to homeschool. All of these changes in myself and my life have been so confusing and intimidating. I feel so lucky to have a wonderful supportive husband, but it has been hard to find like minded people. Maybe it was how I was raised or where I was raised, I don't know. Either way, I have loved all of your posts and I am so grateful to have found your blog. Thank You!!
Leila says
Welcome, McCalla! There is indeed a world of exciting support for the woman who wants to build her home!
Amber Benton says
Leila, This is one of my all time favorite blog posts. This morning when I sat down in the New Year to think about the days that lie ahead I decided to search out some blog posts that I have found particularly encouraging and helpful. I gathered them all into a post on one of my blogs and this post about Order and Wonder and a couple of others made the list, but mostly that's just because I could link to all of your posts. Thanks for your hospitality.